Have you ever considered the responsibility we have in the lead up to our passing over, and when we pass over and die, or do we just consider it is something that will happen to us and we will be taken care of, or that we don’t have to think about just now? That we are on our way out, so what does it matter anyway?
Have you ever considered or thought about the level of detail in which you would like to be taken care of and pass over? For example, if you have been living a very healthy gluten free, sugar free and dairy free diet, do you want to be given chocolate biscuits, cake, pasta and coffee to eat and drink? Or do you want to set up a plan or a legal document stating exactly what kind of diet you will eat in the lead up to your passing over?
Do you want to die at home or in a hospital? Do you want a TV on or music from the radio, or would you like silence, no TV and/or music to be played that is clear of emotions?
Do you want people visiting you all day, or do you want your own time and space and set up a time for people to visit that best supports you, when you feel to?
How do you lie in bed – would you like to be put in a position that truly supports you and your body to heal, sleep and deeply rest?
What clothes do you want to wear – is there a particular feel you want on your skin, or a warm blanket to cover your bed? How do you want the lighting to be – would you like the main lights on or maybe a bedside light brought in? Are there particular books you would like to have there with you to read?
Many families choose to not tell people they are going to die. But do you want to be told, even though deep down we do all know that it is your time to pass over? So you can prepare in whatever way you need to, be it letting go of old hurts, things you have held onto, clearing stuff from your body for passing over into your next life. Or would you rather not be told?
Often it is common practice for a minister to visit people in hospital just before they pass over, but do you want this?
Do we ever stop to consider all of this?
Do we ever consider setting all of this in place in our prime years, so to speak, well before we come to the lead up to our passing over, or do we not consider or prepare for our death and leave it up to someone else?
Yes, there are many legal documents we can have in place, such as a will, life insurance and rights of attorney, but what about the finer details, the things that are very often overlooked in how you would like to prepare and pass over into your next cycle?
Is it something we don’t need to think about just now and we’ll get round to one of these days? But how do we know which one of these days we are going to pass over?
And what about family? If you have kids, if you and your partner die when they are young, have you thought about how you want them to live? Who is going to look after them, to truly support them to continue to grow up to be themselves? Is it going to be immediate family or is there someone else who you feel would support more with this?
What about money – where do you want your money to go – do you want it to be used to support one or two people or the whole of humanity?
And what about a funeral, do you really want one, and if so, how do you want it to be: a celebration of your life, a moving on to your next cycle? What songs do you want played, what do you want read? Or do you not want one, because you know you have already moved on?
All of these things we may take for granted or think we don’t have to think about that just now, but is that not just choosing a lack of responsibility?
Could it be that if we talked about death from an early age, made it part of our life conversations and the truth of why it is, an evolution, this would change everything: our relationship with death, dying, passing over, people, our purpose and life.
By Gyl Rae, 39, Teacher, Scotland
Related Links:
Joy of Ageing Esoterically – Taking Responsibility for My End of Life Decisions
Joy of Ageing Esoterically – Preparing for Dying
618 Comments
I love the reminder that this blog brings as to what taking responsibility for ourselves in a practical way means and what it looks like, not just in terms of preparing for death but in living life too.
We don’t stop when we die, it’s as simple as that. The fact that so many of us think that we do is testament to just how enmeshed in our own lies we are. We all know that we are the everlasting consciousness of God but right now we’re totally committed to pretending that we don’t know what happens to us when we die, either that or we are convinced that there’s nothing after death or alternatively we believe in some religious story about Heaven and Hell, either way we’ve made the whole rotting lot up.
With dying, including having a will, I have very much had the attitude of ‘I don’t care’ or ‘it doesn’t matter’ in the past. However, my learning now is the complete opposite and it does REALLY matter! It is a responsibility we all have not only in deeply caring for ourselves but also in deeply caring for our loved ones making it so much easier for them so they are not left with everything in a complete mess trying to sort things out. This website is very much worth checking out https://www.leavinggracefully.co.uk it has all the information we could possibly think of (and information that we probably never thought of!) that we need in order to have this care for ourselves and for our loved ones. Awesome blog and yes we don’t talk about dying? WHY!!! It happens to all of us so pretty important to talk about ✨
Life’s responsibility energetically is to deepen our understanding of who we actually are then passing-over, death and or dying are seen as a process of our ‘evolution’ and us returning to our Soul-full home in heaven. And as you have shared Gyl, temporal requirements take on a different view when we are living with the true understanding of who we are.
Surrounding to the bigger picture and what needs to be done and what needs to be taken care of is vital at times like theses.
The level of detail we need to take care of to be truly responsible need not be onerous, but certainly the degree to which we are prepared to go is a reflection of how much care we have taken of the detail as we have lived our lives. So many of us leave detritus, confusion, carelessness behind not bothering to think about what has to happen or who many have to clean up after us.
Of course the passing of a loved one can feel absolutely devastating yet when we allow ourselves to feel the truth we know there is no end only another beginning.
Devastation is at best a reaction as passing-over is a returning to our soul-full origins and is a celebration that has temporally been turned upside down to make it all about this life and emotional reactions.
It would be awesome if we allowed ourselves to feel this truth more ✨
and in some ways it’s not even a beginning, it’s a continuation, a continuing on, one continuous thread, no beginning, no end and can never be broken.
I can’t but help love the fact that life is but a cycle, we are born, we die, we are born we die.
Why should anyone fear getting old when we know it is just preparation for our next journey different scenery but with the same essence.
It is irresponsible to leave the decisions about passing over to others who may well feel it as a burden especially if there has been no discussion and they are not clear about any wishes. I have had various discussions but am yet to put anything in writing so reading this is a timely reminder thank you.
It is our responsibility to express what we want in our final years and after death and not the decision of others. Leaving decisions to be made by others is a lack of responsibility on our part of not wanting to deal with that which is being asked of us.
We do not know when we will pass over, so how important to get everything in place, organised, and clear for people, I love the detail you bring in with your suggestions.
Before my mother passed away, we talked about it. Not because I had connected to the wisdom of what is covered in this blog. But because both of us knew that she was ready and wanted to pass over and both of us knew there were some logistics that needed clarifying and taking care of. It was just a start, but it meant we could talk about things and plan together.
Reading the wise tips and insights offered in this blog, it is even clearer to me how we can be much more responsible for ourselves and also offer greater support to each other in preparation for this part of our life which, like it or not, every single one of us will sooner or later be facing.
“Could it be that if we talked about death from an early age, made it part of our life conversations and the truth of why it is, an evolution, this would change everything: our relationship with death, dying, passing over, people, our purpose and life.” A great point Gyl. Death is part of life and an inevitable part of life. An interesting radio prog is currently on BBC Radio 4 talking about death.
Not many of us consider the quality in which we want to pass over. In fact dying itself is often ignored and only faced when there really is no choice and then I wonder how many of us surrender instantly to the process once it begins? It feels like such a self loving and sensible thing to do to consider the details of passing over. It supports to know of reincarnation and that the manner of our passing is the manner in which we come back in again. It takes that capping finality out about it and invites us to consider the bigger picture and what we are all a part of and why we are offered this cycle of life and death. Knowing that death is an offered point of evolution takes the fear out of it too.
Before Passing-Over we can have a remembrance celebration of anyone’s life, while they are still with us and this is setting an absolutely True foundation for them to come back to in there next incarnation. As we re-learn to appreciate a person and what they bring in each incarnation as a celebration of life and not being focused on dying and the death process then this is creating the space for them to pass-over in the most Loving way possible for everyone involved. So it is much simpler to have tears of Joy and share Lovingly with all who attend so it is a True celebration of someone’s life.
And then we have the religious institutions that would have us believe in the death of a person so we do not get to celebrate their passing as we get caught in the emotional turmoil with the great feeling of loss of a so called loved one.
A beautiful idea Greg. Often people at funerals say they haven’t seen someone for x years. How much more enjoyable for those nearing their end to celebrate their life – so they can enjoy the moment too.
I love this idea too. What a gorgeous one! As you say Sue, it offers a lovely point of joyful completion for the person passing over not just for those who love them!
All of the practical aspects of being looked after when we are incapacitated in some way and become dependent on others for our care and the matters that need to be addressed ready for our passing are things we put off far too easily….they need to be part of our regular check ins with ourselves and any information passed on to the relevant parties. Yesterday I was talking to a woman that I have power of attorney over and we decided to meet on regular intervals with the other person elected as power of attorney to keep up to date with each other. All three of us can in this way deepen our relationship and understanding of each other There is no urgency in this situation but by meeting in this way we feel we will be much more prepared were any such urgency arise.
It is a new kind of standard, the one that includes death and dying as part of our preparations for life.
Inspiration to take care of the details, moment to moment – not just when something happens to us and we’re forced to, or leaving it until ‘another day’. We know how amazing it feels to take deep care of ourselves, and we can choose to bring this level of care and attention into all that we do.
The level of detail you are describing here about dying and death is something to take with us not only when we talk about our passing over but it feels to me we can bring more detail to every day life also as a preparation for the last period of our life on earth.
Reading this makes me realise how important it is to write a will and to honour myself until I pass over.
That is true and evolution : when we discuss that we are going to pass over and share what we truly want and how we want to prepare ourselves and our surrounding, than this opens up the conversation and evolution for all involved. Now that is remarkable and so needed. For we deserve the most loving passing over, so does our surrounding. So lets’ plan it!
Gyl I’ve been working with my wife on our wills and looking at how we take care of all our affairs since reading this blog and it turns a subject that is often not spoken about into something that feels deeply loving and supportive.
Gyl, I love that you bring this to our awareness in such a beautiful way. When we start to see death as the new beginning it actually is we start to feel divine love thats is constantly on offer with each passing.
It is true that one day you might be fit and vital and the next can be completely different. I hear of many who die in sudden circumstances such as those we see all over the news these days or even those from suicides (which most do not expect) or a sudden injury or accident. One of the ways most do not prepare well for such events is by taking the present for granted and hence not only not getting things in order should something happen such as insurances etc, but equally if not more importantly is the holding back of love that is there to express which most regret not expressing in full
Yes Joshua, while it is essential to get our finances and paperwork in order very often there is a holding back of the love for another however it is never to late to share and express how we truly feel about one another no matter what cycle we are in, in life.
Reading this makes dying so much more everyday and normal as it is about preparing for how we want the everyday things to be when we die.
I have to say – reading the level of detail you can go to when you are dying really makes me question the level of detail I live now on a day-to-day basis, I get the sense that so many more details could be taken care of on a much deeper level.
Speaking to someone the other day who’s close relative is in a hospice made me realise just how much a taboo subject death and dying is.
Having worked with dying people and their families I noticed that those with no belief generally take it harder then someone who believes in something more.
Personally knowing that we come back again and again helps me to see the beauty of the bigger picture and God’s immutable love.
Refusing to have an awareness of the bigger picture must indeed imbue someone with a sense of despair and hardening. Without the purpose that is there when connected to it, it does make the whole process feel like there is little point. The giving up certainly doesn’t support with feeling open to what is next, or to take responsibility for one’s choices.
I love the attention to detail presented in this article. If we had as much discussion about our passing over as we do about an imminent birth of a baby, life would be so different as our relationship with dying would not be so depressing.