Have you ever considered the responsibility we have in the lead up to our passing over, and when we pass over and die, or do we just consider it is something that will happen to us and we will be taken care of, or that we don’t have to think about just now? That we are on our way out, so what does it matter anyway?
Have you ever considered or thought about the level of detail in which you would like to be taken care of and pass over? For example, if you have been living a very healthy gluten free, sugar free and dairy free diet, do you want to be given chocolate biscuits, cake, pasta and coffee to eat and drink? Or do you want to set up a plan or a legal document stating exactly what kind of diet you will eat in the lead up to your passing over?
Do you want to die at home or in a hospital? Do you want a TV on or music from the radio, or would you like silence, no TV and/or music to be played that is clear of emotions?
Do you want people visiting you all day, or do you want your own time and space and set up a time for people to visit that best supports you, when you feel to?
How do you lie in bed – would you like to be put in a position that truly supports you and your body to heal, sleep and deeply rest?
What clothes do you want to wear – is there a particular feel you want on your skin, or a warm blanket to cover your bed? How do you want the lighting to be – would you like the main lights on or maybe a bedside light brought in? Are there particular books you would like to have there with you to read?
Many families choose to not tell people they are going to die. But do you want to be told, even though deep down we do all know that it is your time to pass over? So you can prepare in whatever way you need to, be it letting go of old hurts, things you have held onto, clearing stuff from your body for passing over into your next life. Or would you rather not be told?
Often it is common practice for a minister to visit people in hospital just before they pass over, but do you want this?
Do we ever stop to consider all of this?
Do we ever consider setting all of this in place in our prime years, so to speak, well before we come to the lead up to our passing over, or do we not consider or prepare for our death and leave it up to someone else?
Yes, there are many legal documents we can have in place, such as a will, life insurance and rights of attorney, but what about the finer details, the things that are very often overlooked in how you would like to prepare and pass over into your next cycle?
Is it something we don’t need to think about just now and we’ll get round to one of these days? But how do we know which one of these days we are going to pass over?
And what about family? If you have kids, if you and your partner die when they are young, have you thought about how you want them to live? Who is going to look after them, to truly support them to continue to grow up to be themselves? Is it going to be immediate family or is there someone else who you feel would support more with this?
What about money – where do you want your money to go – do you want it to be used to support one or two people or the whole of humanity?
And what about a funeral, do you really want one, and if so, how do you want it to be: a celebration of your life, a moving on to your next cycle? What songs do you want played, what do you want read? Or do you not want one, because you know you have already moved on?
All of these things we may take for granted or think we don’t have to think about that just now, but is that not just choosing a lack of responsibility?
Could it be that if we talked about death from an early age, made it part of our life conversations and the truth of why it is, an evolution, this would change everything: our relationship with death, dying, passing over, people, our purpose and life.
By Gyl Rae, 39, Teacher, Scotland
Related Links:
Joy of Ageing Esoterically – Taking Responsibility for My End of Life Decisions
Joy of Ageing Esoterically – Preparing for Dying
594 Comments
It is a new kind of standard, the one that includes death and dying as part of our preparations for life.
Inspiration to take care of the details, moment to moment – not just when something happens to us and we’re forced to, or leaving it until ‘another day’. We know how amazing it feels to take deep care of ourselves, and we can choose to bring this level of care and attention into all that we do.
The level of detail you are describing here about dying and death is something to take with us not only when we talk about our passing over but it feels to me we can bring more detail to every day life also as a preparation for the last period of our life on earth.
Reading this makes me realise how important it is to write a will and to honour myself until I pass over.
That is true and evolution : when we discuss that we are going to pass over and share what we truly want and how we want to prepare ourselves and our surrounding, than this opens up the conversation and evolution for all involved. Now that is remarkable and so needed. For we deserve the most loving passing over, so does our surrounding. So lets’ plan it!
Gyl I’ve been working with my wife on our wills and looking at how we take care of all our affairs since reading this blog and it turns a subject that is often not spoken about into something that feels deeply loving and supportive.
Gyl, I love that you bring this to our awareness in such a beautiful way. When we start to see death as the new beginning it actually is we start to feel divine love thats is constantly on offer with each passing.
It is true that one day you might be fit and vital and the next can be completely different. I hear of many who die in sudden circumstances such as those we see all over the news these days or even those from suicides (which most do not expect) or a sudden injury or accident. One of the ways most do not prepare well for such events is by taking the present for granted and hence not only not getting things in order should something happen such as insurances etc, but equally if not more importantly is the holding back of love that is there to express which most regret not expressing in full
Reading this makes dying so much more everyday and normal as it is about preparing for how we want the everyday things to be when we die.
I have to say – reading the level of detail you can go to when you are dying really makes me question the level of detail I live now on a day-to-day basis, I get the sense that so many more details could be taken care of on a much deeper level.
Speaking to someone the other day who’s close relative is in a hospice made me realise just how much a taboo subject death and dying is.
Having worked with dying people and their families I noticed that those with no belief generally take it harder then someone who believes in something more.
Personally knowing that we come back again and again helps me to see the beauty of the bigger picture and God’s immutable love.
I love the attention to detail presented in this article. If we had as much discussion about our passing over as we do about an imminent birth of a baby, life would be so different as our relationship with dying would not be so depressing.