Recently an opportunity presented for me to take a deeper look at whether I was living gender equality in my day-to-day life as a woman.
As women, not only is it important for us to invite men to step up and look at these gender equality issues in a non-imposing, non-judgmental way, it is equally important for us to invite ourselves to step up to living this gender equality also.
Therefore I asked myself:
“Do I always live this gender equality that has been known in my heart as an irrefutable truth?”
The answer is “No”. So no matter what I see in the world today, and not depending on how the world responds back to me, can I commit to consistently live this truth, starting with myself?
I started to consider how I could truly live gender equality within myself:
- Even though I am equally committed and devoted to the work that I do as any male counterpart, I had been setting my prices well below what my male colleagues were charging. I have now revised my prices by feeling what I am truly worth. Honouring my true worth as a woman has completely changed how I feel about myself, and how I hold myself as a woman in the workplace and in life.
- I had believed that if I did not put in the same long hours as men do or approach a job competitively, then I could not reap the same results or be respected equally in my career. I now truly value what I bring, having a young son to look after and having a full-time career at the same time. Through being asked to be equally present and focussed with my work or at home in the kitchen with a very hungry child, I know that I am ready to engage with presence and focus in any new spontaneous situation.
- I realised that I was still holding myself back in how I was expressing with males at certain times – there was a reservation on my side. Holding back as a woman with men is holding myself back as a human being. Ultimately it is a holding back of all women and all men. For example, I now commit to looking men in their eyes equally to how I naturally hold my glance with a woman I meet on the street or in the elevator. I don’t dress differently when it is men I am meeting, no matter who they are, expressing what my heart feels exactly, in all vulnerability and power, in all silly-fullness and seriousness. The freedom experienced in not holding back is simply amazing.
- When I have been with men in friendly and professional settings I have had the expectation of being treated with more care and attention, like gentlemen treat women. But if I’m honest, I had not been consistently treating myself with deep care and love, so that lack of worth towards myself is what men have been reflecting back to me. When I stop expecting men to act in a certain way and then feel hurt when they don’t, I start living the preciousness of the woman and the human being I am. Responding to the preciousness I feel within me stops the need to be rewarded by something outside of myself. How a man chooses to act does not determine how precious I am.
- As a woman I had accepted that in male/female relationships I had to give more, understand more, allow more and accept more compared to my male partner. When I stop hanging on to the belief that men cannot be as understanding, allowing, accepting, or giving because of their past hurts, what I allow is a much greater love to be expressed; and men meet me back with constant beautiful surprises confirming that they are everything I know them to be.
Having said all that, I’m coming back to a deep knowing that men are made of the absolute same essence and sensitivity as women are, and that there is no difference in our ability to feel. As women and as men our love can only be true when we begin to accept and live this knowing.
Indeed, if as women and as men we now take responsibility without delay and live and express the love that we are, then we are truly here for each other. Gender equality is what we know to be truly true between men and women: it is the true relationship between men and women that can be lived.
Living the truth of who I am is an ongoing inspiration received from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine — and its teachings and all the reflections from its students.
By Adele Leung, Image director, Hong Kong
Further Reading:
Gender Equality: How far have we come?
Equalness and Being a Man
The Truth of Love – Equally for All
697 Comments
There is a higher quality that goes beyond male and female genders and that is the soul. The soul knows we are equally male as we are equally female. When we know this divinity is seen first before gender.
Ah the last two points I can really relate to and also see the set up of discontent I’d been contributing to.
Expecting to be treated as the beautiful precious being that I am – and being recognised as such because I am female- is at odds with my expectation that I had to do more in a relationship – ‘give more’ whilst expecting less from men – tarnishing them with ‘they’re lazy and do nothing’ brush. All of this feels very conflicted and yucky – a no win for both sides, a recipe for resentment with both parties and no coming together in mutual respect of oneself and the other.
I loved what you have shared here Adele, your words bring a smile to my face, in the gorgeous acceptance of who you truly are. “I don’t dress differently when it is men I am meeting, no matter who they are, expressing what my heart feels exactly, in all vulnerability and power, in all silly-fullness and seriousness. The freedom experienced in not holding back is simply amazing. “
The point you made about being sympathetic to the hurts of a man and thinking he is not capable of expressing his love is one that I can relate too and in this am willing to accept a quality less than what we both deserve. In these situations I am learning to hold him in love but not accept less than the quality we both deserve.
It’s true it does start with us now. I think way too often we wait for someone else to make the first move or to take the first step – but your blog reminds me of the saying – be the change you want to see in the world. Imagine if we all did that – the world would correct itself pretty fast.
When we live as who we truly are, equality, true equality will be felt in everything, because it is within our very nature.
I agree with you Adele that we all feel equally the same amount i.e. we all know equally the same just that others have an expression that is more full in something; until we accept and understand we are all equal this will be our experience.
Adele, what you are sharing in this article about gender equality is really interesting, this stands out for me and is something that I will ponder on as I can feel that I do not fully value my worth as a woman and all that I bring to my work; ‘Honouring my true worth as a woman has completely changed how I feel about myself, and how I hold myself as a woman in the workplace and in life.’
To even consider a difference between men and women is already false. Because when we close our eyes — all we can do is feel, there is no difference by our essence, only by appearance. but we have created a reality, that is not actually real, that men and women are different in many ways. Cool to calll our what it is and how much lies we have created that push away the truth of that we are equal.
Meeting someone for who they are and not meeting them for the gender they are frees us to feel the equal love of all.
Removing filters from our eyes and beliefs that say men and women are different and separate is well overdue. We are in essence equal, one and the same.
The specifics mentioned here gave me pause, so I’d always say I support equality for all, but then when I read that if I’m being less or accepting less as a woman say, I’m in fact adding to inequality, absolutely true. And it shows the stark difference between a slogan and an actual livingness, and has me considering why I might put up with less (security), and how in fact in doing so I’m adding to the equality I say I abhor. Thanks Adele for a great pull-up. It’s really about us and how we live in every detail.
There are some really great points here, thank you Adele. This line was highlighted to me “I know that I am ready to engage with presence and focus in any new spontaneous situation.” This is such a great way to be, connected to oneself and ready to bring that to whatever comes up. It is also a powerful point about the expectations we can place on others to deliver us care or love and how we might react if they do not – “How a man chooses to act does not determine how precious I am.” We can definitely expand that to how others choose to act does not determine how precious we are
I’ve come to understand that what we perceive and see as problematic on a macro level (in the world) is more than likely something we need to examine for ourselves. We can point the finger ‘out there’ but let’s examine our own beliefs and behaviours first.
Gender equality has been nailed here Adele, you are absolutely right we are from the same essence and it is well past time that we all embraced this fact and dropped the false protected way we all parade around in, to bring that beauty of our essence to the surface for all to see and watch gender inequality fade into history books where people of the future will look back with disbelief at how we used to behave.
Kev in the future people may look back and see this time in human history as energetically primitive, if not barbaric.
Great for women to step up and take responsibility for how we are in life and not wait for society to change, men to make it better for us etc. How I am in every single interaction contributes to greater gender equality or not and I can feel how there needs to be some changes on my part i.e. valuing what I bring and how I relate to other women as well as men.
Gender equality starts and finishes with the truth that we are all equal in essence no matter the gender. There can be a great appreciation however of what men and women bring in their different expressions.
“As women, not only is it important for us to invite men to step up and look at these gender equality issues in a non-imposing, non-judgmental way, it is equally important for us to invite ourselves to step up to living this gender equality also” – totally Adele, because we can so often make it a ‘man issue, or man’s issue’ i.e. for them to step up to and almost relegate them in the process for not being or possessing gender equality. And it was only when i began to really deeply connect to myself through my female body that I felt my stillness quality which helped restore the internal balance to become how I felt my worth as a woman — and equal to not a ‘man’ but simply to another human being. When there is the quality of felt stillness, ‘gender’ becomes irrespective to make gender equality more about internal quality.
Equality starts with us, and I just love how you have explored what this means, and how this can be present in your life. It is a gift to hear how you have approached equality and claimed your equal worth, Adele.
The thing I like about this blog is that it’s asking us to take responsibility for ourselves as women and to not hold ourselves as victims of the social / cultural / energetic status quo first – whilst acknowledging the inequities that undoubtedly exist.
Gender equality deepens on the quality each Gender lives. Living one’s full qualities of their own gender will lead to gender equality naturally . This can be easily seen when very young children interact with each other.
Regardless of our gender, if we all appreciated within ourselves and others the qualities of what we bring as opposed to the productivity of what we do, true equality would be a natural expansion of this.
There is a role farmers’ wives have taken on where they place the work of the man above all else and the farmer holds his position with pride that he deserves his pedestal. If a farmers wife has fallen into this way of being knowing and have always known fully well that these roles were and are not true. I have felt reactions in my body from very young to the women around me for giving their power away and making themselves less yet what I have discovered and continue to explore is my lack of self worth and appreciation towards myself hence the reflections that have been on offer around me all along to support me to evolve and break this consciousness of women living a lie and choosing to live less than who we truly are within the farming community.
Well said Caroline. There are some deeply held ideals and beliefs that put the men first and their lives being more important relegating women to a lesser position and justifying male dominance. Women have accepted this role and have grown clever at manipulating and deception in order to get what they want or they have just succumbed and lived very subservient and much less than their true selves. It is awesome that you have the awareness that you do and the love of truth, yourself and people to turn this around.
Thank you Adele for presenting the opportunity for us to consider if we are living true gender equality. For amongst us all here in this world, we are the Sons of God, as such equal in light. Do we hold ourselves in this regard? It is the embrace of this equalness for ourselves through which we will then come to know and live in honor of this quality of equalness in all our relationship thereafter.
Adele, this is interesting; ‘When I stop expecting men to act in a certain way and then feel hurt when they don’t, I start living the preciousness of the woman and the human being I am. Responding to the preciousness I feel within me stops the need to be rewarded by something outside of myself.’ It feels important for us to love ourselves first and to treat ourselves with preciousness and adoration.