This is my story of when I decided to stop drinking alcohol. I was never a heavy drinker at all, I actually hated the taste of wine and beer – and especially the taste of alcohol, it made me want to vomit, but I still drank because all of my friends did. So instead of listening to my body, I drank to fit in.
I know that is a sad excuse but that’s how it was for me, and it goes to show that my self-confidence wasn’t the greatest at the time. Drinking back then was the “social thing”, even though I now feel it’s the furtherest thing away from being social. We like to believe it’s social because we feel more confident speaking to people, but I’ve learnt it’s not a true confidence.
So back to my story…
In the beginning I must say I enjoyed the buzz – I thought I felt more confident but at the same time there was a stroke of arrogance about my behaviour. I was quite flirty and used my looks and charm to attract women, but it felt quite shallow and needy and I didn’t feel that I was being very respectful towards them, even though I was in no way rude. At least that is what I felt at the time.
It just felt like the whole situation around consuming alcohol seemed very superficial and fake and this is not what I truly wanted. I love being around people and I love the connection with them, but when alcohol was present that loving connection was out the door and that was also one of the reasons I quit drinking, side by side with the following incidents.
When I got to the point where I decided that enough was enough and I stopped drinking altogether, there had been a gradual process of realising how I felt after having alcohol.
I have been one of those guys that wanted to go out the door and play first thing in the morning but after a ‘night out’ my body just didn’t have the energy to do it and that bugged me quite a lot. So the okayness I felt about having alcohol slowly faded and ended entirely after what I can remember was a three-stage process.
The first time was at a party of one of my friends; I felt my lower back hurt when I started drinking and I couldn’t understand why. It just felt very uncomfortable, as if someone was holding and squeezing my kidney very hard. But at that point I still kept on drinking.
The second time, from what I remember, I started to feel something before I even opened the first bottle. Something in my lower back started to hurt the same way as the first time but I overrode this feeling yet again.
The third time however, something happened that made me realise what I was actually doing to my body. Same thing as before, I could feel something in my kidneys before I even started drinking but this time it felt as if someone literally put a knife straight into my physical kidney… and that was enough for me!
After that incident I never touched alcohol again and I haven’t regretted it for one second. It was actually great that my body told me that loud and clear what it truly preferred. Looking back I knew from the beginning that alcohol wasn’t my thing. When I was younger no one really questioned why you drank (except from my mum, bless her) but why you didn’t drink, as if drinking alcohol is normal.
For me it seems very strange to put something into our bodies that makes us ill, flat and tired the next day – it doesn’t make any sense, so giving up alcohol for me was a no brainer.
Now when I go out to restaurants or clubs, which is a bit more seldom than before, I have a glass of water and enjoy the food and the people.
By Matts Josefsson, Support Person in Psychiatry, Student, Dalarna, Sweden
Further Reading:
Getting Honest about Alcohol
Drinking Alcohol – The True Picture, The True Damage
From wine to water: How I finally quit drinking alcohol with the help of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon
834 Comments
It’s crazy the things we inflict on our bodies like alcohol and nicotine in our attempts to ‘fit in’ with others rather than feeling what is true for us. Thank you for offering a reflection to others that there is another choice – this is much needed in society today.
I can relate to this Matts, I too had a very physical reaction to alcohol – having ‘enjoyed’ it for 25 years, all of a sudden one day it felt like someone was pouring acid straight into my brain when I took a sip of red wine, like a burning sensation. That was a really scary experience and I never touched alcohol since.
What is interesting to note here is how we judge the actions rather than stop to notice the harming signs that are given way before we even take the first sip.
Drinking alcohol was never my thing too so I found it relatively easy to give it up. No-body told me to give it up. It was a gradual process cutting back to one glass of wine when I went out and then in the year 2000 I gave it up altogether. I can remember being tempted afterwards but I kept saying ‘No’ and eventually others got used to me not drinking alcohol. When I can feel something is not true for me within my body, it creates a tension and it is this tension that supports me to question the choices I am making.
Its amazing how our minds rationalise or negate the truth being felt and loudly expressed in our bodies. A great sharing, Matts which I too can relate to.
The mind and the little ‘thought monsters’ within are so tricky, overriding often what we feel and know and the body tells us and yet we let these monsters run us??
The inherent wisdom in the body is something we continually choose to override, until it stops us with illness and disease to get our attention in full. How great that you stopped and listened to the warning signs your body gave via your kidneys and pain in your back and took action to change your lifestyle – even if it took three reminders at that point in time!
If we consider just how bad alcohol makes us feel the next day, or even at the time – it doesn’t make any sense. I never drank very much, but for me it was an excuse to express what I was holding back, silly when I never needed an excuse to express who I am.
‘Drinking back then was the “social thing”, even though I now feel it’s the furtherest thing away from being social.’ A great way to put it Matts. I never really drank and as a teenager I’d go to the pub and drink juice while my friends slowly got drunk. When they got drunk I’d call it a night and go home. The thing was because I never judged them and because I was so at ease with the fact I didn’t drink nobody held it against me and it was accepted easily. Fast forward a few years at university and I didn’t really have the same quality of relationships with the people around me. I was totally ostracised for not drinking.. This was pretty painful actually, but at the time I preferred to be ostracised than poison my body..
Great point Matts, that no one questions us when we drink alcohol only when we don’t drink. it, which doesn’t really make sense because most of us do know it is a harmful substance and alters our state of being. It is like so many things in life we think a small amount is acceptable and won’t harm us but what you show here Matts is that your body was telling you before you even drank that it would hurt your kidneys. Don’t you love the body, if we are willing to listen it can show and offer us so much.
Once I had trained my body to get used to the habit of alcohol as an essential accessory to a social occasion I remember being very relieved when I had a great excuse not to drink because I was driving a car. So I wouldn’t drive my car when I had alcohol in my system but didn’t question putting alcohol in the tank of my own physical vehicle. Not so intelligent. Saying yes to living without alcohol is one of the best choices I have made.
Our bodies are such great barometers of what suits us, if and when we stop and listen to the message it’s sending us. I too had a go at drinking alcohol when I was young and went for all the sweet combinations, as I could never face drinking beer or mainstream spirits. One evening after just one sip of wine, my whole body prickled and my heart started racing madly. I really felt like I was going to die. That was enough for me and I have never touched alcohol since.
If we simply listened to our bodies the first time we drank alcohol or smoked cigarettes we would not drink or smoke again. Pressure to conform and fit in is intense and few able to resist.
yeah that is the crux of it – the pressure to conform, to be part of the group – can often override everything we know and feel within.
“For me it seems very strange to put something into our bodies that makes us ill, flat and tired the next day . . . ” That was for me the same Matts and therefore I stopped drinking alcohol 8 years ago. It was also easy for me to stopp drinking alcohol as I too didn’t want to feel so ill the next morning. So when my friends came for dinner – I served no alcohol as my home is also alcohol free. In the beginning they found it strange – but now they are use to it and they always say that they did not miss the alcohol at all.
If we all listened to our bodies’ responses to alcohol (or even the suggestion of it), no-one in their right mind would drink it. There’s no question in this, and no sense whatsoever in consuming a known poison and potential carcinogen. And so the question becomes, WHY do we, still, do so? We need to get beyond our own realisations and look at what is going on societally that its consumption is so normalised – i.e. (to put it more bluntly) that rampant self-abuse is endemically normalised. Is this not a sign that we have long given up on ourselves, and that we are not truly coping with life, let alone flourishing within it? We need to go beyond the means we are using to self-abuse, and look more deeply at why we so easily self-abuse in the first place.
It has now been about ten years since I stopped alcohol and now I can’t even stand the smell of it. I look forward to the day it becomes socially unacceptable the way smoking has become because I also like catching up with people, but if they have been drinking I can only handle it for so long until the noise gets too much and people tend to get louder and louder competing with each other.
“When I was younger no one really questioned why you drank (except from my mum, bless her) but why you didn’t drink, as if drinking alcohol is normal” – how true is this Matts, to not drink is questionable for many, as it used to be in my own world when I used to ‘enjoy a night out/dinner party with alcohol’, to today and no longer choosing to drink for more than 10 years now because of how I changed as a person under its influence, and the foggy lethargy I felt inside my body, that now to drink is questionable.
What a great description and understanding of the effects of alcohol and the way we are brought up with it to be so socially accepted even though we have to override the effects and the fact that we don’t really like it to fit in with everyone .Giving it up and your experiences is a real marker of what our body is telling us. Having never liked alcohol myself making me ill and only accepting it to be polite and join in with others at the table for a while I found that when going out with others having alcohol I would always have the symptoms of having drank it the next morning even though I did not, showing its effects are draining to everyone’s kidneys around one and our families and it is no wonder we are exhausted on a world wide scale. I am finding it such a joy to be at occasions or tables where no one is drinking and the connections and joy is highlighted and amazing to share and a true realness and depth is felt.
I did not enjoy my first tastes of alcohol yet I persevered as I felt it was the ‘proper’ thing to learn to do and it was what one did as an adult. So I taught myself to like it and became very proficient at consuming rather large quantities regularly. Although in the years to come I came to realise it was harmful and I wanted to stop, I still persevered as I now believed I really did like it. Then in my fifties after attending a couple of Universal Medicine workshops I felt so much better in myself and I preferred feeling like that than to the taste of alcohol, so I chose to no longer consume it. It is now ten years since I made that choice, I have not had one drink then and I do not miss it at all
Thank you Matts, it is quite amazing how our bodies do speak to us about the things we do to them, only like the message from your kidney, sometimes it can take a while before we pay attention and then a while longer before we bother to read it. I know that giving up alcohol sits up there with the top ten best life choices I have ever made. Cannot quite get over how great I feel now I am not swamping my liver and kidneys with poison, all that sparkle and enthusiasm for the start of the day has returned.
A great example of how the body can be super loud in letting us know what is hurting us. There is no doubt that along with the physical response… as soon as the alcohol kicks in, any connection with yourself or another is lost instantaneously… making the body well worth listening to.
How wise are our bodies? Our kidneys are our energy for life, nothing drains away life force like Alcohol. It is astounding but at the same time perfectly logical that our bodies know this wisdom and are communicating with us if we are honest enough to admit it.
I put myself through the same ‘ normalisation program’ to fit in but in looking back I can see how lost I was, I no longer honoured my true natural way and it was never to drink. Then it gave way to other behaviours that also wasn’t my true view or belief I held of how I saw myself, I generally gave up on my foundations. But fast forward and I can look back and see the insidious undermining of all I held to be true, it’s taken years to clear all the damage and reclaim me.
Its funny but nothing destroys your self-confidence like denying your own feelings and going along with the crowd to fit in. Nothing builds your confidence like acting on what you know to be true.
Our body is always communication – we just have to choose to hear.
Thank you Matts, having read your blog, I started to more deeply understand my own experience with alcohol as to I felt exactly the same incidents as you , yet did not gave it words.. Even though I always felt that seemingly so, which after being more real of what I was actually feeling made me stop drinking alcohol too, which is at a young age pretty unusual, but felt and still feels absolutely great. What is the win of drinking alcohol when we are stabbed in the back when we drink it?
It’s great the way your body was clear about what alcohol was doing to you. I found the same that while I was willingly engaged in drinking alcohol, I did not want to see the harm it was doing. You just accept that you will feel awful the next day. It was only when I started to cut it out that I was able to hear the messages from my body about how harmful it was.
Imagine if we all decided to give up alcohol, to acknowledge the fact that alcohol is a poison that kills cells. Then there would be no need to fit in or do something that many of us never wanted to do.
Alcohol is still one of those taboo subjects where I find people sometimes in Australia don’t like to hear that you don’t drink. This behaviour is not the norm and so I find there can still be a bit of disbelief when people hear that you don’t drink and sometimes they think the only reason you don’t drink is because you must be a recovering alcoholic.
It is funny that a substance that is known to be very detrimental is such a normal part of our lives.
“When I was younger no one really questioned why you drank ……..but why you didn’t drink, as if drinking alcohol is normal.” So true Matts. It’s a very odd state of affairs that someone is thought to be weird if they don’t drink alcohol and yet we know categorically that alcohol is a poison in the body. Go figure.
This is a beautiful testimonial of how the body speaks. And how it will continue to speak again and again until finally we stop and listen – the wonderful perseverance of our human frame.
I find the abundance of alcohol in every situation fascinating – from the aisles and aisles at supermarkets and social events – it’s not only the norm but the expected and so there is no consideration of whether it is something you want to do, but more something everyone just does. I know so many people who as young teenagers would say just how much they hated alcohol and the taste, and yet in a few months or years, in different circles or friends they would be drinking and saying they enjoyed it, or if they were more honest, that they needed it to have fun and let go.
My experience of alcohol disappearing from my life was pretty drastic in the way that it happened in an instant. I also was never a heavy drinker yet did like to drink a glass of champagne or two at times, and wine as well. and after I had a massive clearing and for the first time connected to the lovable being that I truly am – and this is now 15 years ago – when that occured, the very next day when I wanted to drink a glass of wine with my meal I remember lifting the glass up to my face and the smell that came from the wine, the sourness and acidity of it made my throat close up, my nose wrinkle up and I knew instantly that that was it – no more alcohol for me ever. I never even tried since then, it’s just not part of my life anymore and can’t belief I ever drank alcohol in the first place.
Great sharing Matts. Your body certainly gave you a clear and strong symbol that alcohol is a poison. My body too gave me strong signals which I ignored. I remember being asked to give the toasting speech for the sopranos at our University Choir end of year celebrations. I was very nervous about it so I drank heaps to quell the unease. I gave the speech was applauded madly and then collapsed to the floor and had to be carted home. The next day I was vomiting and sick the whole day. But this didn’t stop me drinking. It did stop me drinking to that extent and I always called it quits at three glasses of wine, but I did keep on drinking until 1999 when I had my last drink at the book launch for my latest book. Something in me could feel the falseness of the ‘high’ – the emptiness of the camaraderie , and the whole thing, so I stopped.
Matts this is a great example of how our bodies talk to us, great that you chose to honour your body and listen to it’s very subtle promptings. I too used to drink many years ago before I had children, but my body couldn’t take much alcohol, 1 drink and I was pretty tipsy. Then it got to the stage where even if I had half a glass I ended up with a headache so that was it for me. And yes, it may have given me some courage to speak more with others, but the empty feeling that is needed to choose to drink in the first place is still there. Now I am too honouring of my body to have alcohol.
Great way of the body expressing it’s comnunications Matts, and awesome that it didn’t take too long for you to hear it and take heed. 🙂
It is incredible to see what the body can show us when we are open to it. Listening to the signs is truly honoring what we in truth already know in our innate knowing of a true way to live.
It is quite extraordinary how we will continue to consume something we don’t actually like, and never have… what possesses us to continue when our bodies so clearly tell us it’s not ok?! I never liked the taste of alcohol but drank it anyway – to fit in, to be seen as ‘normal’ and didn’t have the self-confidence to stand up and say straight up, “no, I don’t like it, why would I drink something I don’t like?” Instead I found ways to consume it that made it taste ‘better,’ by adding juice, or having coffee liqueurs instead which was really about the comfort offered by the cream and the sweetness of the liqueur. So in truth it was all about the emotional need being filled rather than honouring the truth of my body.
What I find interesting is how everyone’s body has a very unique way of speaking directly to them. The message may be the same for many but the way it comes is tailor made, to me that is very advanced way of communication.
I no longer drink Alcohol anymore but my signs were of course slightly different to yours. I was very stubborn in my desire to continue to drink, so even after many hangovers that were unbearable I decided that half a shot of alcohol was going to be okay. This gave me a sense of satisfaction because I felt like I had cheated the system. When I got home from the pub that night and realized I was actually gone, I couldn’t feel how effected I was until I was in my house, a house that was full of love and the care I had begun to build for myself. I could feel something very foreign running through my blood stream and was in a panic to get it out. I now understand that it is not worth renting out the real estate that is my body to an energy or substance that is going to treat it like garbage, I would never willingly harm myself in this way now.
Thank you for sharing how you honoured the loud and clear message from your body about how it felt about alcohol. Most of us choose to override our first reaction to alcohol and train ourselves to ‘like’ it and you expose just how crazy it is to keep consuming a poison despite the clear signals we receive about the impact on our physical body as well as our moods.
For a woman to not drink alcohol, there is less questions asked compared to a MAN that does not drink alcohol. I can appreciate the challenge as a man to take the stand and say “no – I don’t drink.”. Well done Matts!
Matts, I love your simple sharing about quitting alcohol. It is true that it is so strange that people will question why you do not drink alcohol whereas it is not questioned if you do drink alcohol. I recall such a strong peer pressure especially once I arrived in Australia almost 20 years ago, and because I was not a particular fan of drinking alcohol, then I found my own ways to handle the huge peer pressure to drink – I would accept a beer bottle, and soon discretely disappear to the bathrooms with it where I proceeded to pour the beer down the sink and then fill the bottle up with tap water. This way it would appear that I was drinking alcohol all night and would be left alone and not pestered to drink. More interestingly though I can share that even though I would not have a drop of alcohol, I would always without fail, still have a hang over the next morning!!! And like you Matts, I would have a sore back! It is like hanging out with others who drank, was still affecting me as I had not learned to hold my boundaries around it! Interesting!
I don’t really feel that anyone can truly handle alcohol. It is a poison to the body. You never hear of anyone thriving on alcohol only people defending their right to poison themselves.
So true Kathleen, it’s like the experiment you do in Science at school with having a number of the same plant and feeding them different liquids and seeing what happens to them. This experiment with alcohol has shown very clear results for eons… the body (like a plant) can not thrive on poisons… full stop… and our body even supports us by throwing it up, unlike the plant that crumbles and dies. This is not very intelligent… we would get a big fat F on our body report card.
The body speaks very loudly Matts, when we’re prepared to iisten. And when we’re not (prepared to listen), we tend to go much longer periods in the illusion that all is ok before something more significant occurs to shake us up. Even then we often refuse to accept the truth until our bodies are screaming at us.
Matts this is such a clear, solid and oh so refreshing article on alcohol. Our bodies have always clearly indicated that alcohol is not good for us in any way but drinking alcohol is such a part of our lives that we have woven the overt warning signs into our culture. In fact we’ve gone further than that, not only do we readily accept the fact that alcohol makes us feel crap but we actually parade how bad we feel as if it’s some kind of trophy. I have even seen people on TV share that they have been so drunk that they lost control of their bowels, as if it’s actually something to be rather proud of!
Hello Matts and long ago I knew alcohol was a no go area for me. I didn’t like the taste and I thought it was just one of those things I needed to learn. I saw everyone was doing it so like many other things I thought it was for me to learn and be like everyone and perhaps even be better at it then them. I remember being fearful of what the next day would hold and often would make sure I had the day off to recovered, that usually took 2 or 3. I set up a plan when I went drinking all around the recovery, so I didn’t feel so so bad. The plan never really worked and I would change it constantly to try and make it better. I knew back then alcohol had a shelf life for me and that at some point I wouldn’t do it anymore, it didn’t make sense. When Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon spoke about alcohol everything I felt already made sense and all of me was very appreciative and thankful. I don’t miss it or even think of it anymore, it’s no longer a choice not to drink it’s more like I have no memory of ever doing it.
I can also relate to not drinking, not being a choice. There is a strange reflection that I also don’t remember drinking that consuming it in the past caused the same effect?
Awesome Matts, it really is a no brainer if one is willing to go a little deeper as to why their drinking, and what drinking actually does to our bodies. I know for myself once I dug a little deeper and questioned why I chose to drank, a healing within began and as I healed I no longer felt to drink.
Alcohol gets a hold because we want to fit in and be liked, but that seems more important to us than loving ourselves or being true to ourselves. We also have many reflections around us as kids that say “alcohol is ok” because of the many adults who drink it, and also in how they use it – as a treat, a reward, to relax, and to celebrate. Alcohol is even given as gifts and people talk about “loving” certain drinks. Yet, we all begin hating the taste. Alcohol is like the elephant in the room – no one wants to say how they really feel about it.
I was very similar to you Matts, I never liked alcohol, the smell, the taste or how it made me feel yet I did it to fit in and to not be different. I was already different enough as it was.
It has now been about 7 years without drinking and I feel great for it. I don’t miss it, never crave it, don’t feel like I miss out and I know for sure that I have saved hundreds of dollars.
I love that it is now something of my past and not something I have in my life anymore.
It is indeed a very strange thing that under the guise of normal we willingly consume a toxin that does nothing more than poison the body and rob us of our life force (kidney energy). No wonder your kidneys ached and your ‘get up and go’ got up and went. It is not only alcohol that puts us in such a stupor but the many foods, various substances and vast array of ideals, beliefs and images we consume, not to mention the multitude of behaviours and reactions we are addicted to, that all lead us to move in a way counter to the truth that we are.
I can relate to what you say Matts, my body has always felt the ill effect of alcohol, I just didn’t always listen. I haven’t drank for years now, and I find the more I have developed a relationship with my body the more discerning I have become as to what truly supports it. Your body was certainly giving you very clear messages.
I love, love, love the simplicity of your experience Matts. No emotion, no heaviness, just factual about the truth that alcohol was harming you; you knew it, your mother knew it and so you listened to your body and ‘gave it up’. This speaks of the regard you have for yourself and how you value your connection with others also. Thank you for showing the world how simple this can be.
I never liked the way my friends changed when they drank alcohol, it was worse at parties because I was often the driver and drank water all night and could see the changes as they were happening. They would be, as Matts says, more confident, but with that came a loudness and a laughter that felt false. If I was drinking on celebratory occasions where I wasn’t driving, after the first couple of glasses, I would lose count and simply enjoy the sweetness and keep going until in the end I was sick, or I’d stagger home and be very sick the next day. I’ve not drunk alcohol for eleven years now, I don’t miss it and my body loves me for it.
It is quite incredible to consider with all the lived evidence and experience people have around the effects of alcohol on our own bodies and the knock on effect to society, that people can still be awkward and want to turn not drinking alcohol into something un-usual.
Once I stopped drinking it became so obvious to me that none of us are ourselves at all when we do drink. To me we become like puppets with something else running us that we have no control over.
I now get a hangover from eating too much. Just like with alcohol which I stopped more than ten years ago I still need to get multiple messages before I am able to reduce or stop overeating. The principle seems to remain the same.
When we decide to give up something, it becomes sustainable when we listen to our bodies and the signals that it is showing us rather than trying to give up something coming from an ideal or belief. Your body was speaking loud and clear Matt and when we actually listen and take heed, then it becomes a very natural process rather than a ‘should do’.
I never drank a lot regularly either, but I had some seriously trashy nights that literally took me 2 days to recover and I got myself into some pretty precarious positions while drunk too and yet I never at that stage thought that there was anything wrong with alcohol. I never even questioned what it was doing to my body. I thought that my not in excess use the majority of the time was ok, especially since any “big” nights were few a far between.. Having said that though I had become a regular drinker, with a couple of beers most days. I had never even contemplated that not drinking was a choice, until I stopped. It was then that I started to see what I was doing to myself with alcohol. It’s been one of the best choices I have made for both my body and my bank balance.
It is true that no one questions why you do drink alcohol, only why you don’t drink. Not drinking alcohol purely by choice can cause quite an upset. Why that upset is caused deserves to be looked at yet the topic of alcohol is fiercely defended.
No one questions why you don’t snort cocaine, why is that? Because we know it’s unhealthy, but somehow alcohol has been allowed to fly under the radar. Maybe because it’s not that common that you die on the spot from an overdose. Maybe that would be something we could see in the future. Us getting the full on effect of what it actually does to our body, then people would go like ok this might not be so healthy after all, if we are inclined to have that inner conversation.
So true, however we do have many signs how poisonous alcohol is with many people dying of alcohol related diseases and some of alcohol poisoning, and we tend to look down on alcoholics too, so we all know but choose to not look …
A beautiful and simple sharing from your body Matts. Reading what you say I was reminded how I feel exactly the same way about emotional reactions. I’ve lived my life having them, thinking that they are natural in some way. Now I can see they give the same hit to me as having a wine or a beer, and now I’ve got more aware I get they truly have a similar draining effect on my body’s parts. Really its a no-brainer to stop these thing when you feel how much they hurt.
Interesting Joseph, thanks for sharing.
Thank you for sharing Matts, I realised that for me drinking had become a routine thing, I had used it as a way to get through life, and when I stopped my world didn’t tumble down, in fact it had the complete opposite affect I was able to see things more clearly, and how my lack of self-confidence and self-worth had been fed by the alcohol. Now I love my life, everything in it, and my confidence has allowed me to have a deeper connection with myself and others, and my expression is so much more.
Super clear messages from your kidneys Matts, and very sweet they shouted louder each time until you took notice! – How lovingly our bodies can communicate, and how self-lovingly you responded.
Yep third time count, and the message was quite loud.
Matts inspiring how you chose to listen to your body and follow its very clear direction. I also didn’t drink a lot. I’ve been more aware over many years now that our bodies have always been giving us messages our whole lives, it depends on how entrenched and arrogant a part of us is that digs its heels in and says ‘I can do what ever I like to myself’. I remember the relief when I realised I didn’t have to drink alcohol! Funny hey, like needing permission but it was such a norm thing to do.
It truly is crazy I agree Aimee.
This is really the line Aimee – “I can do what ever I like to myself’.” One of my children recently uttered these words too with the addition of ‘ it’s my body and I can do to it what I want.” And only through movement and reflection is it possible to show another way of being …
Alcohol is one the common and socially accepted means to take the edge off the tension, stress, exhaustion, social awkwardness or insecurity, lack of self-confidence etc and because most people ‘like’ to have a break from that tension there is a kind of agreement to not blow the whistle on why they are actually drinking alcohol but instead make it look to be a normal, harmless thing, making it about the taste, the refreshment… And because ‘everybody’ is doing it there is not much of a reflection to show otherwise. To then not drink sticks out and at times disturbs people in their comfort of normalized ‘relief’, because deep down they know the real reason they don´t want to face. At least that is what I had to realize within myself and so in others as well. Time to get honest about why we do what we do, and alcohol is only one example of many.
Great points Alex, and there are so many more vices to use part from alcohol which says quite a lot about the mass psychosis that has taken hold of us. That’s why it’s so important to stick out and show people that it’s safe to just be yourself.
So true Alex and Matts, being our selves in any gathering and just reflecting that will have an effect, as I notice now that when people come to my home no one ever brings or drinks alcohol at all, including some family members.
It is strange how we ignore clear signals from our body that alcohol is not okay just so we can fit in. I certainly chose to drink because it numbed me from uncomfortable feelings, especially when everyone else was drinking. Now I cannot bear the feeling of being ‘out of it’, and am not attracted to alcohol at all.
Yes and how refreshing does it feel to just feel awesome and in joyous true connection with others without this stuff…
I love your honesty and openness of your sharing Matts. It makes no sense at all purely on a physical level that we do things like drink alcohol when it does not result in a pleasant result in the body. It shows there is something more going on here, a deeper unrest within that is much greater than the physical consequences alone and hence enough for us to make us want to seek to do them again and again and again. It shows that dealing with these addictions is never just skin deep. We have to look at what is really going on within ourselves and hence the way we are living that is leaving a shortfall, an emptiness that makes the addiction possible.
“I know that is a sad excuse but that’s how it was for me, and it goes to show that my self-confidence wasn’t the greatest at the time.” I know what you were feeling, even though I knew drinking was not healthy and not really feeling like drinking alcohol I found myself drinking alcohol when I was allowed to as recording to the age limit. I felt also to drink because it was cool to do and ‘fun’ to feel the effect of alcohol. Yet looking back it was not truly fun to do and I felt horrible afterwards or sometimes even during drinking alcohol. It is great to stop drinking alcohol and I never missed it after I quit.
The body does give us quite a slack when it comes to alcohol. If we were to get the full knock on effect from the body when we drink alcohol we would at the most drink once and then we would be so sick that not a single cell in our body would want to ever drink again. But I guess there is a range here where we have a free choice with what we do with our bodies and our lives. It does feel however that the messages from our body are getting more loud and obvious.
If I haven’t seen my friends for a long time and agree to meet up with them – why would I then want to destroy any connection we might enjoy, by drinking alcohol? Hundreds and hundreds of times in my life I have woken up in the morning feeling empty at the lack of connection and intimacy from the night before because I was drinking.
What if we could think like that Otto instead of automatically assume that we will drink alcohol. I think the reason is that we are afraid of connection even though we crave it. Being with people there is an automatic pull to be together and if that freaks us out then alcohol can be the answer, then you can be close, or in many cases all over someone but there is no real or true connection between the two of you.
I did used to drink a lot and drinking alcohol not only exposed how much disregard I had for myself but heightened my disregarding behaviours making them more extreme. I would flirt loads as well and this was a false behaviour because if you took away the alcohol I would never have been like this, it was a false confidence. I reflected on this only the other day when a friend who drinks alcohol asked me how I stopped. At the time of drinking alcohol I knew it was battering my body but did not have enough self love in my body to stop drinking. It was through attending Sacred Esoteric Healing courses with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine where the bodywork supported me to do this, to the point that I cannot remember the exact time I stopped it just naturally fell away and I haven’t looked back since. I deeply appreciate this as there was many times in my life I wondered would I ever be able to actually stop drinking alcohol because even though I knew how detrimental it was to my health I still kept doing it so introducing self-love and self-care to the daily routine definitely helps with this.
Yes the closer we get to our soul the more we let go of the bad stuff. But we got to make the choice.
Dear Matts, thank you for sharing your experience of how your body clearly showed you how it felt about alcohol being poured into it…… even before it happened! The body could feel the energy of what you went into to be able to ingest this poison in the first place – a certain level of dis-connection…… and you were open to listening – and to stop. If we were taught to do that all of the time, we would avoid a lot of serious health issues for ourselves, and take the pressure off the health systems all over the world.
I found drinking was a distraction and as you have shared Matts, I never liked the taste so I had to override my feelings to be able to drink alcohol.
I agree that drinking is considered the norm and is very quickly questioned when you choose not to drink. Historically, when I used to drink a little I held this false belief that it made everything more fun and put pressure on others to drink. Now understanding the separation that occurs, it physical hurts to even feel for a moment going with the false recognition, attention and pat on the back for being one of those drinking to be included. The body is a powerful and very loving communicator and I really love the way it never gives up calling us back to what is true.
Thanks, Matts. We could all save ourselves a lot of pain, illness and disease by listening intimately to the body and its communication, as an instant and exact reflection of our choices.
Great blog Matts – I found myself re-reading this part of a sentence
“….after a ‘night out’ my body……”
as
‘….after a night out of my body…..’, which is exactly what drinking alcohol causes – a disconnection from our body.
I agree, and you can see it in the eyes of a person if she inhabits the body or not.
Yes and if I’m OUT of my body then what in the world is IN my body? Might be another topic for discussion but it’s not by chance that we get different when we drink. Sometimes we notice this ourselves as in us getting so different that we question it ourselves but it’s easier generally for others to see how we change when we drink. Especially when you are sober watching others. Then it’s easy to clock almost the second someone changes. It’s as if they get possessed by something that changes them. They might not notice but as I say I think it’s quite easy to spot when someone changes. You can see it in their eyes, they do not feel fully like it’s your friend, colleague, husband, wife and so on anymore: they’ve shifted.
“For me it seems very strange to put something into our bodies that makes us ill, flat and tired the next day – it doesn’t make any sense, so giving up alcohol for me was a no brainer.”
I drank like a fish for years, and ignored the fact that it did not really make sense. If I had a dollar for all the times I said “never again”, I’d be rich for shizzle!
But slowly the sense part of me won out and I’ve not had a drink for 5 1/2 years and it is quite awesome to be free of its hold. The mornings are much better 🙂
Awesome sharing Matts. Like you, I was never a big drinker, I just loved the connection to people. Despite having given up drinking alcohol myself a few years ago, there were times when I would walk by a pub on a summer’s day and felt like I was missing out. But what I misassociated for years was the drinking culture and connecting to people. We, as humans, love connecting. It just happens that people feel they can let their guard down or open up at a pub. Today I much prefer a walk or meal or cup of tea with friends.
What if pubs were redesigned to enhouse people, get rid of the booze and have people learn how to relate to others whilst in a sober condition. Like a re-learn-how-to-connect-with-people bootcamp. Then the pubs would really start contributing with something good.
Thank you Matts for sharing your account of how your body knew from the start that alcohol could not be tolerated. It is interesting how we can manage to override those signals, which in your case were quite strong.
Growing up in my family alcohol played a huge part, so it was almost expected that when we got to a certain age we will want to drink but I found it difficult because I did not really like the taste, even though at the time I would pretend I did just to be sociable.
Isn’t that crazy, that we are expected which we basically are to drink something the body can’t really handle…? And in my case it was strong, or maybe I was just perceptive to what was actually going on so perhaps everyone gets these signals but we choose to not listen to them, Maybe everyone has “knifes” put into their kidneys every time they drink, it’s just that we choose to not listen to what our bodies are telling us. Hence also the importance to develop a relationship with our bodies where we listen to what is has to say.
“I love being around people and I love the connection with them, but when alcohol was present that loving connection was out the door and that was also one of the reasons I quit drinking, side by side with the following incidents.”
Me too Motts, I loved being around people yet what i discovered was that as i grew up I increasingly shut down my true feelings and expression and became a shadow of myself, unsurprisingly this made me feel sad and so drinking and taking drugs felt like a great way to detach from this misery. Through Universal Medicine i now understand that if i had little, to no true relationship with myself then of course my relationship with others would flounder – so i became depressed, and my trust in people waned.
We can also encounter peer pressure and ridicule, when we stop drinking alcohol and can it take a while for friends to accept that I had stopped for good. One repeatedly visited my house with bottles of my favourite wine, (from the past) until I asked them not to and said I didn’t want alcohol drunk in my house. In restaurants, which I rarely frequent now, people overrode my wishes and ordered wine for me even though I’d asked for water. And the education continues, at family celebrations, weddings, christenings, birthdays my choice to love me and drink water is consistent regardless of occasion.
My feeling is the more we let go of the reason why we used to drink the stronger we grow in the choice to not use alcohol anymore and the less people ask because they can feel the authority of your choices and let’s put it out there so that everyone understand that alcohol is not normal to drink. It’s like people has been “brainwashed” to think from young that alcohol is in any way normal when it’s actually a poison to the human body and from what I know it’s supposed to be used in laboratories as a chemical ingredient and not ever be put into our bodies.
“When I was younger no one really questioned why you drank (except from my mum, bless her) but why you didn’t drink, as if drinking alcohol is normal.’ I agree Matts. If we spent more time exploring the question of why we drank alcohol in the first place, we may not have continued to drink It would have revealed that it was not a true choice based on feeling from our body, but one that stemmed from a feeling of lack, low self worth and needing to be part of a group. The false myth is that alcohol gives us confidence, in truth it rubs us of the true confidence which emanates from within.
Great point you make here Matts in your blog that we consider alcohol to be a social lubricant but if we are honest it actually takes us away from being ourselves in any situation and therefore decreases any real connection we have with each other. So it is the gunk that is clogging up the machine of society not the lubricant we think it is.
And maybe we have this mentality because we haven’t felt what it’s like to really connect with another. Or perhaps it can be us knowing what when we are sober with others it is an opportunity to really connect. Being with people has an effect that is actually a gift but maybe we are avoiding opening up the gift that is us given. To really get to know who we are we have to be open to other people and maybe this is the crux of the matter, we are afraid of getting to know ourselves?
I would say yes to what you have written and also it is the fact that we then have to feel all the unloving choices we have made away from our truly loving way. This is something that hurts and because it hurts we would rather not feel it.
I had spent most of my life socially drinking. I had done the required initiation of over-riding the bodies response of pouring poison down my gullet till it gave in and accepted it as a normal process, it had to put up with. Time and life marches on, caffeine to start the day and keep going and a drink or two before bed to reverse the effect to sleep, then repeat. I developed a skin problem in my early 50s that eventually lead me to a dermatologist and told its was something wrong with my liver and frequently is caused by drinking and told me to quit drinking for six months and return. I just quit and did not drink for the whole period. When I went back to the doctor, she asked if the cessation of alcohol had any effect, and I replied yes… I saved all kinds of money not drinking but still had the skin problem. Eventually, the problem was found to have been from accidental solvent poisoning by skin contact at work. The drinking had just been one of my many ways to numb myself. I don’t miss drinking at all and accepted as my normal at work that I prefer not to drink.
Great to hear Steve – isn’t it amazing how the talk goes around alcohol. It’s as if it’s something obligatory that you have to start doing when you get older when it’s not. It’s great that we start to break the mass hypnosis that has been going on around alcohol. And how amazing for the kids growing up hearing that alcohol is actually a poison that harms your body instead of listening adults talking about it as if it’s something you can do when you grow up. Hurray for us that has become sane in our membrains : )
Matts, I love your sharing, I can so relate to what you have written. I was a very big drinker – although I never liked the taste or how I felt the next day I thought I needed alcohol to make me confident, but it made me ill, it took years of my body rejecting alcohol by me being sick or getting very ill. Finally I listened and I now don’t drink at all and like you Matts I do not regret this or miss it. Last night was a great marker for me, I went out in the evening with some work colleagues most of whom were drinking and I did not, I felt confident and noticed how my self worth has increased and that I do not need alcohol to be able to talk with people, I left at 9.00pm when I felt everyone was getting drunk and it was so noisy it was hard to talk to people and I felt absolutely fine that I was not doing the ‘norm’ and joining in with the drinking and late night and I had a great night.
Love it Rebecca, and the feedback we get from our bodies when we do these things are so rewarding. It’s like the body celebrates us finally listening to what IT actually prefers and we get to feel our body loving us back.
Matts I remember when I decided that alcohol was doing me harm and that I needed to stop. It took me a further two years before I actually did stop because I found it hard to say no and stand out from the crowd. What did happen in that period was that I cut down a lot and would often only have one drink, or hold it in my hand and drink very little, until one day i decided enough. Its one decision I have never regretted.
Yes I can so relate to this too “… to not stand out from the crowd’ – what a sad state of affairs if we think we have to do something that we truly do not enjoy at all just to fit in! What else does humanity do that feels so yuck yet is done just to fit in – to fit in with what exactly??
We have to get used to standing with people at parties and not feel uncomfortable that I don’t have a glass in my hand. It’s been a long time since I was at a party but I would go there with my water bottle and have a sip every now and then. Great opportunity to practice being myself.
This is a beautifully honest blog about alcohol Matts. How many of us felt the same way about alcohol in the way that you did… and also overrode the signals and complaints our bodies were showing us? So… if the vast majority dislike the taste of alcohol on first try what exactly are we trying to fit in with?
Yeah that is a great point – what exactly are we trying to fit in with? To fit in with the crowd, to not be the ‘weird’ one, to not be a ‘spoilsport’, to comply with what is dictated is ‘normal’? So awesome to listen to our bodies instead of what our head tries to tell us…
Great point AND why are we so scared of being social without the alcohol? I mean it’s awesome yet we frain going there, silly but true.
Great blog Matts, I too remember when I was 14 something trying out beer and finding the taste quite bitter and had to train my body to like it.
Yep well said – “train my body to like it”. If everyone connected to this truth I reckon the alcohol industry would go out of business pretty fast …
I would say that the body never gets used to anything that is abusive – what happens is that we shut down the pathway of communication that the body offers us, then it feels as if we have gotten used to it but we have in fact actually just numbed ourself more, or we have numbed what our body is communicating with us. So when we get a disease it could very well be that what has been buried as in the example above has to be released from the body, in the form of a lump, tumour or other form of condition.
Thank you Matts for sharing. It is an interesting point you make and it is so very true from my experience also – that no one asks why we drink but when we stop drinking it becomes quite a common question as if it is normal to drink a mind altering substance. Probably more the case is that it has become very common for alcohol to be consumed by many regularly today.
Oh so true Johanna – and so ironic as the question is the wrong way round – it ought to be not why don’t you drink but why do you drink in the first place. When deeply pondered upon this question, the answer will be quite revealing for many I’d say.
It is interesting how the first taste of alcohol or the first cigarette smoked for most of us tastes so disgusting, yet we push on through to ‘fit in’. To ‘fit in’ with a society that views such things as normal, yet are in fact poisons. Bonkers!
Sue, exactly it shows that our body is very wise but for whatever reason we try and force ourselves to ignore the body, only then the body has to speak louder and we get sick. The wise choice would be listen in the first place.
I know that too Matts, drinking alcohol for socialising. It made me more loose, changed my state of being and more easily to approach people. But in fact I never truly could connect on an intimate level when under the influence of alcohol, so I was always in the discomfort of that, that in turn made me to return to the alcohol as a way of relief of not having to feel the agony in my body of not being able to meet the essence of myself or that of others.
You said it Nico – “… I never truly could connect on an intimate level when under the influence of alcohol…” – this is a very important realisation and one to share with the world too, because when we can reflect on this how quickly could we change our socialising in true connections and gatherings to come together to truly be with each other.
The total numbing out way to approach life. Honestly I don’t blame people for drinking. What I do oppose to is when it is argued as being good in any way because when done I know it’s not them speaking but something else through them. Not sci-fi or anything like that. Anyone that is sober and attentive can easily see when someone who drinks gets ‘taken’ by something else and they change personality. We know it and can relate to it but not too often do we talk about these things. When I do I know many can relate. Fascinating things to talk about I find.
I should have given up alcohol the first time I vomited all over my self and passed out on the floor in the middle of a party, but no I didn’t, or when I found my friend dead on the sofa from alcohol poisoning, or when I found my best friend who had drunk too much passed out on the floor in a public toilet with blood all over her. These incidents and hundreds more like them would shake me up for a few hours and I would swear never to drink again but I would soon forget and get straight back to my abusive ways. It took me another 20 years or so to actually give it up and it was only when I came to Universal Medicine and understood the root cause of why I abused myself so intently was I able to stop drinking for ever.
I gave up alcohol 14 years ago after hearing about the energetic effect it has on us. I got to see that the reason why I drank alcohol was to take the edge off life and once I learned to re-connect with myself I did not have the same need to take the edge off. Our body simply cannot handle alcohol in any way, shape or form.
Yes that was the same for me too Elizabeth – to drink a glass or two in the evenings to take the edge of my days was my thing too. And I also had that experience – once I connected to the lovable being that I am alcohol immediately stopped being drinkable for me – my body absolutely rejected it.
I think it’s huge to talk about the fact that alcohol is fake confidence. I used to think it was the only thing that got me to be confident – but that was at the time where I did not want to see what presence was and how it was possible to be in the moment – in every moment.
Yes showing people that it’s ok to be sociable and talkative is important I think, otherwise we never know where we’ll end up. Before people used to drink during weekends but then it sneaked in during weekdays and then you have the “after work” and suddenly everyday is fine to drink, when it’s not. But it says a lot about where we are in society.
Matts I can relate to what you are sharing about alcohol, I too only started to drink to be social and thought it gave me some confidence, I never liked the smell and I had to really force alcohol to then start to get the taste for it. I remember the first time I had wine it just tasted awful.
Yes Amita, and wine anyways isn’t that just lemonade gone old…
I can certainly relate to this Amita, I remember thinking it was awful and my body did not want even a mouthful of it.
What a practical experience to share Matts, giving voice to how your body felt speaks a reality that many others quite possibly feel.
An great example of taking responsibility and putting it into action. The body is the marker of truth and the examples were definitely loud and clear in this one.
It is such a conditioned way to think that we have to drink to be sociable and to relax. From my personal experience and from my observations of people drinking alcohol when serving in the hospitality industry is that we actually all really enjoy our conversations – it doesn’t take to long to work out that our conversations when drinking deteriorate trimendiously and the quality we are left with for ourselves and others feels empty and false.
I agree, Natalie, I feel, with alcohol, the conversations become much more emotive which then prompts people to either become more defensive or aggressive. Either way, it completely changes the energetic integrity of the group.
I agree Natalie, we do love these conversations where we can feel that connection. I think that is what we crave the most and we shouldn’t be afraid to explore them.
Matts that is what I love most, the connection, the feeling of purpose and the depth of warmth of love in my body when there is true expression. It can be unsettling at first when we let ourself connect deeply with others but is worth more than gold.
Absolutely Matt, I know when I started to acknowledge that this was happening and that this was what I actually did want was true deep connections I started meeting up with people in different ways so I can have this. For a while I still meet up when people were drinking but over time they too realised that when we did meet and this wasn’t in the equation that the quality we had together was much more enjoyable and enriching.
It’s true Natalie, and the more we are willing to see this the more we are able to bring a level of reality to these situations because most if not all people want to be connected to and do not enjoy these types of conversations.
It’s a common story – people start drinking alcohol to fit in even though it doesn’t feel great; but then the addiction to the sugar and the feeling of elation kick in and it can take a while to kick the habit. Once you can feel the clear physical symptoms, and for me it was the kidneys as well, even though I wasn’t putting two and two together at the time, there is no going back, self-preservation for most is stronger and wins the day.
And thank God for that!
Amen ! 🙂
There was a time when I felt I could not open my mouth to speak if I did not have alcohol, but under the influence of alcohol, every time I spoke, it was not really me who was speaking. I felt imprisoned. Later when I quit drinking altogether because I did not like to be controlled, I would observe my friends when they drank, and the atmosphere of the gathering would very quickly spiral into one from a warmth and connection (before drinking) to a haphazard and chaotic silliness (after drinking) that felt very noisy but completely cold—no matter how much people were talking or being physical with each other, there was no true connection. I would want to leave the scene right away or I would check out. Recently, I have discovered if I had to stay in a situation where people are drinking and still connect, it takes a lot more commitment—it requires an already rock solid foundation with immense openness, and express with all of me.
Interesting, and I can understand that it takes a lot more connection and steadiness when you are the one sober and everyone else is variably intoxicated. The sad thing is that when people are under the influence of alcohol they think they are ok and proper and when you stand on the side being sober you go like… ok right… Alcohol for sure is a luring drug that will take some time for people to drop. If we start to talk about the reason why we drink then we might come to our senses faster, but time will tell how well we go with that.
great blog Matts,
I am new to the livingness and admit i still like the occassional beer ,like after the lawns or a meet up with friends.
What has helped lately is i have been Uber driving and seeing how people are when under the influence of alcohol especially if i pick up the same people a few hours later!
being a driver i have stopped drinking a lot and realise how it has stopped me to feel and made me check out ,with the help of Serge ,Natalie and the healing available i know in time i wont need to drink at all.
Hi Matts. Your blog takes me back a bit, even to a time when we did visit beautiful Dalarna as a passenger on a Tourist Coach, and I was still having a glass of wine to ‘appear sociable’. What a farce really, and another illusion I had accepted from that an insidious belief that I then allowed myself to align to, indeed, of that which is not love, but believed we needed to be seen to be joining in, being the ‘same’ as others. My then need to be ‘accepted’ and ‘liked’ saw me having to take medication, a strong antihistamine, just so that I could withstand the onslaught of what alcohol did to my body as I took the first sip of white wine at a social gathering. With puffing eyes, and streaming sinuses there was still the belief that I had to endure my body’s response to be seen to be ‘fitting in’.
What crazy behaviours we can stoop to when we are seeking some sort of recognition from outside of ourselves. I can look back on those times and so appreciate that I have not allowed alcohol to touch my lips for about 15 years – but the memory of what I allowed it to do to me is still so clear. Thank God for Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon who reflected that it didn’t have to be that way – that there was another way to live – i.e. The Way of The Livingness.
Hi Roberta, if I would have known I would have waved at you when you passed. And I agree with what you are sharing. This is a point we sometimes miss. That what we see as a reality have many aspects to it. So the reality for a person that has been drinking is very different from the reality of the one that is sober. Their eyes are perhaps looking at the same things but how we perceive these things is very very different.
It is very caring of the body to provide these escalating symptoms. I wonder what happens if you ignore the third one.
Luckily I was smart enough to come to my senses. Thank me I say, not you but me, and I say you’re welcome. Great inner dialogue here…
It was probably one of the most self loving choices you could have made for yourself Matts, I say thank you for listening to your body (example to us all), and I am sure that your body says a big thank you to you too. If only we all paid heed to our bodies, then maybe the medical profession wouldn’t be under such a strain.
This is how serious illness and complications happen. I know from personal experience that ‘listening to my body’ was huge steps ahead of where I was when signs first started – I wasn’t even prepared to be aware they were signs!
It’s interesting in how we use transference to blame something else when we justify our ill actions to something the body is screaming at us to stop!
It took me a lot longer than you to come to my senses again Matts, however wasting an entire next day due to massive headaches, feeling extremely sick and sometimes vomiting became untenable. I cut down and cut down over years until even just a 1/4 glass of wine still delivered those symptoms. Obviously I was a slow learner but my body never gave up letting me know how it felt and I am most thankful for its wisdom now. Now I no longer need props to make it feel safe enough to converse or be with others.
Ah that love filled body we have – never gives up on us does it, well until it does but it sure works till the sometimes bitter end.
Yes, our bodies do tell us, often loud and clear, unfortunately some of us choose to ignore the signs and end up with either an alcohol related disease, or having an accident of some kind. There is a reason we drink, and that reason, as far as I am concerned, is that we are missing ourselves and are choosing to fill our emptiness with a sugary substance that is poisonous to our body, and for me anyway, it was a way to pass the time so I didn’t have to feel how alone I felt, even in the company of others!
I too took far too long to come to my senses on this one, it was a consciousness that I had really bought into and was a hard one to break but now after such a long time since I have had alcohol I know that I will never go back there. The more love I allowed into my body the less I could tolerate alcohol to the point I just had to stop.
I know what you mean Kevin, I have been alcohol free for over 5 years now, with no regrets, nor have I ever been tempted, in fact the mere thought of a glass of wine turns my stomach. I agree with you about the love bit, this is the key, the more love we have for ourselves the less the need for alcohol. The same could be said for other sugary substances, such as chocolate and biscuits which for me were a great numbing tool to avoid feeling what I was feeling, but life always catches up with us, and there will come a time when we all have to deal with our stuff and let the love in.
Matts thank you for such a detailed description of giving up alcohol, I went through something similar in that when i was a child I could never understand why people drunk but then as I grew up I started to say it made me confident, but then I drank heaps. It took me time to gradually reduce and finally stop drinking and that came not from me focussing on not drinking but focussing on what felt loving and supportive for my body, then the drinking just stopped.
Isn’t that a revelation if any – deal with the reason why you drink and then you don’t need to drink anymore. Now that will save a lot of money and lives.
And this is how we need to thinking as a society which I know is what you are expressing here. What a responsible way of living.
Hear hear – this is 100% true, and goes for all other vices we may engage in … getting to the root cause of it and taking responsibility for and and allowing it to heal – and boom – the need to suppress is gone.
Absolutely – drinking is the result of a way of living that puts it as a sense of relief or enjoyment – alcohol is not the cause it is the result.
Quitting anything we do that is no good for our bodies, that we have attributed to an addiction or some other causative reason that is outside of us is just pandering to the illusion we have created, not to stop! Do we continue these habits because of the separation from our self they offer us? When the reason for this self-abuse is addressed, is there a need to continue?
.The same could be said for many other things that we do, say eating sugar, smoking cigarettes or taking certain recreational drugs, or even eating food that doesn’t suit us… it is not all about willpower it is about dealing with the reason we are doing it, and that takes honesty and willingness to come out of our comfort