What many men call normal, for me always felt like an addiction. I was introduced to porn at the age of 12 when we found some magazines in the paper waste of a friend’s house.
We soon found out where his father had hidden more magazines and video tapes. We spent hours and hours looking at the pictures and never ever talked about how we felt about them. Each boy would be isolated doing his thing, no communication, no connection.
I remember feeling empty, with a sense of guilt and raciness after those experiences, yet I would crave for more because I didn’t have any intimacy in my life. No cuddles with my parents or friends and I was way too shy to enter a relationship.
So the images of naked skin gave me the illusion of people being close, meeting each other. In truth, I was craving intimacy – meeting people and being met by people – not sex.
When I had my first sexual experience at the age of 19, it was a disaster. I had all these ideas and images disturbing me and setting me up for how to act, what to think, how to sound and the reality didn’t match at all with what I had seen on screen and paper.
I felt lonely and not met, nor could I meet my partner.
My friendships had changed by that time and since we neither had Internet nor cellphones, I didn’t have access to porn for a couple of years. But when I had the opportunity of visiting a big town, I would sneak into a porn movie theatre and this then confirmed to me that I was addicted to watching porn.
On the outside everything seemed fine. I had finished my studies at University and was working as a therapist, my body looked healthy from daily Hatha-Yoga sessions; I was married and had a great, well-functioning social network.
But why was I still watching porn? I had tried countless disciplines to let go of this habit.
By this time, I could already clearly feel that porn was actually looking at people being heavily abused, although I would still fool myself and think it would be less harmful if I didn’t watch aggressive porn.
What struck me most was the fact that I was working as a therapist often with women who had suffered sexual abuse. Although many clients found a momentary release through their sessions with me, they never experienced true healing from the sexual abuse.
Physical symptoms, fears and suicidal thoughts would come back time after time. But how could my clients heal from sexual abuse when I needed to heal this within myself to then be able to truly support their healing?
Sometimes I would have watched porn in my lunch break and then returned to treat clients that had been sexually abused. The images of sex sometimes were so strong in my mind that I had difficulties focusing on what my clients were sharing with me in the sessions.
I felt ashamed to touch my clients because it felt like I was somehow harming them. I couldn’t help it, but even without touching, in the moment when we looked at each other’s eyes, the energy of the pornographic images I had let into my body flooded the room and I could feel that I had absorbed the energy of the porn by watching it and this was actually abusive to my client and myself.
Nobody had ever told me that this was possible, but it was so awkward and real that I didn’t need proof of this other than my lived experience.
I started questioning myself as a therapist and the modalities I practised (which were mainly new age, shaman, spiritual, alternative therapies). If I was neither able to let go of the addiction, nor able to prevent the harm I was causing my clients in an environment that I was responsible for holding – one that is meant to allow healing from abuse – then something was genuinely missing and going wrong in my life.
Soon after this I began to get to know Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. Although porn addiction was never a topic of the Esoteric healing sessions, the addiction just fell off my shoulders within one year.
The more intimate I became with my natural self, the more normal it became to really meet people and be met by them, including other students of Universal Medicine.
I decided to let go of all the new age modalities I had practiced before I had experienced Universal Medicine at once, especially all shamanistic ceremonies and sessions and instead began only to work with the Universal Medicine therapies that I had learned.
After this decision I watched porn two times and both experiences were so disgusting that from that time on I never touched porn again.
It was clear everything had changed. I have experienced that the Universal Medicine modalities don’t work through mental explanations or behavioural regulation or discipline, they simply re-awaken the ability to feel and be energetically aware of everything that one engages with.
I began to realise that the modalities that I had practiced and experienced before I had come across those taught by Universal Medicine, all the new age, spiritual and shamanistic therapies, seem to work with energy in a way that casts a fog around our energetic awareness in the most deceitful and evil way to make us think we are dealing with the energetic root causes of our issues.
This goes on until our bodies show us the truth by displaying symptoms of exhaustion, illness and sometimes chronic disease and mental and emotional ill-health.
When I decided to become an Esoteric practitioner and applied for accreditation through the “Esoteric Practitioner’s Association” (EPA*) I found out that a prerequisite for becoming an Esoteric practitioner is to commit to never watch porn as well as a number of other prerequisites such as not drinking alcohol.
It was the first time in my life I had heard of this or come across an organisation that considered how what the practitioner does will directly impact upon the quality of healing that is offered to a client.
No healing modality that I ever came across, neither at University nor around the world during my studies of alternative medicine, ever asked that I not watch porn, or engage in other activities, because of the harm it would cause me and my clients.
This made sense of my experiences of the Universal Medicine therapies and the power of healing that they brought to me and others. It was the final confirmation for the stupendous quality, care and space that Universal Medicine and the EPA* offer, something that is not seen or matched anywhere else worldwide.
My experience has informed me of how important the quality I live in is to offering healing.
I would want such a safe space for every single person on earth, so that nobody ever again has to suffer unseen energetic abuse through the side effects of their practitioner’s lifestyle choices.
More and more men are starting to talk openly and honestly about porn addiction and the effects they observe it is having on their lives and on their loved ones. This is the way to end the illusion we have allowed the porn industry to abuse us with.
It was the true love I had for my clients and for myself that allowed me to ask the right questions that brought me to meet Serge Benhayon. And it is his enormous love and care for humanity that allowed me to change and create a safe space in my clinic.
The women and men that now come to see me, some of whom may have been sexually abused, can now finally start to truly heal in my clinic because they are never going to be imposed upon by an abusive energy that was there before I understood what my porn addiction was doing and they are offered an environment where they can feel safe and supported through the loving ways I now choose to live every day.
* The EPA (Esoteric Practitioners Association) is a branch of Universal Medicine. It was instigated by Universal Medicine to monitor and accredit the modalities that were founded by Universal Medicine.
By Anonymous, Germany
Further Reading:
Porn addiction – what are we missing out on?
Behind Closed Doors
Our secret medical history
639 Comments
Our standards of decency and respect have slid so far that what we now may consider as normal is very abnormal, eg porn, which means – how dramatically will the standards then slide if decadence and/or depravity are our normal way?
It’s a great reminder for us all too that there are no private or secret moments, even in our thinking, as everything adds up to the collective energy we live and express in, which affects others.
“More and more men are starting to talk openly and honestly about porn addiction and the effects they observe it is having on their lives and on their loved ones. This is the way to end the illusion we have allowed the porn industry to abuse us with.” It’s great for everyone to openly discuss the realities of porn. We have a tendency as human beings to override what really feels true, that first mouthful of alcohol tastes disgusting, likewise the first puff of a cigarette feels like poison to the body, and when we seen porn we also know in some way its trashing something pure within ourselves and within all of us. But, we repeat these things even though we don’t like them. Great to uncover what was lacking in your own intimate relationship with yourself (and earlier with your family) that created the void to fill with some other kind of false ‘closeness’ – porn.
This article clearly shows that the integrity in the way we live is felt by everyone we meet.
Understanding how our thoughts and words are what we take into everything we do or energetic awareness is the start of our evolution back to being connected to our Essences, Inner-most-hearts / Souls so that True healing comes through us then we do not impose ill energy on others.
There is an energy in this world that is pure, innocent, amazing, pure love, glorious and true – the energy that porn is is the complete opposite to all that.
It is a dark tunnel to embark, one which may seem to not have any light or other people for miles. You can feel completely isolated and alone. The thought of it may make you feel disgusted, but you drop into it again and again, time after time. It is worth exploring, seeing why it is that way, why do you rush to your computer for the relief. Although the relationship may be an unhealthy one, it is worth exploring and seeing why it exists. Judging and condemning ourselves for it will never do anybody any good.
There is a lot of shame around pornography and people engaging in the privacy of their space, we cast judgements and criticism but do we ever look at the root cause to bring understanding and support a healing process? Our society has a lot of flaws and the fact that we criticise one other is actually one of our biggest ones.
Having done some research recently I was shocked to find that it is now more common for violent and extreme porn to be consumed. Porn will never fill the void where a lack of intimacy lies and in response the drug has to up the dose or it’s potency in a failed attempt to fill that void.
Listening to the knowing we have of when an energy is dodgy is our guide back to what’s true and pure. I’ve done all sorts in the quest for intimacy and now I am connecting with my sacredness I am able to say no to what I once allowed.
Esoteric healing sessions are amazing, I know my past has no hold over me what so ever anymore mainly due to the help and support I have received via Esoteric healing practitioners.
The demand for porn is huge, as a society we need to ask why this is and what is in our systems, education, society that means so many people go looking for such a thing.
I remember a number of years ago on my way home from a Universal Medicine retreat stopping to pick up a few essentials in a local shop. Standing in the checkout queue with another person ahead of me, I was observing the man ahead of us paying for his groceries. Reading his energy was like walking onto the set of a porn movie. I felt how his every move was governed by thoughts of porn and how it oozed out of every cell in his being. I felt how this trip to the shops was like an intrusion into his world and his only thought was to get home as quickly as possible to return to his porn. I remember focusing in on his face and being surprised at how normal he looked, as if he was just another customer doing his weekly shop.
What a beautifully honest blog and exposé on the energetic effect and affect imposing energies have on not just the person themselves, but everyone they come in to contact with.
When we do not consider the energetic factor we are at loss of what is truly going on. We can be impeccably dressed and so forth but when we don’t consider the energy we are in this does not make any difference.
Porn is an often-undiscussed topic and the fact that you have been so openly honest about your experience is breaking the mold. With kids being exposed to it younger and younger through their devices and developing a warped view about sexual relationships, we need more than ever for this topic to be discussed.
It must be quite confronting for a survivor of sexual abuse to then go and see a therapist who is addicted to porn. This is a great example of how we affect others and that it is our responsibility to present ourselves free of such things.
Absolutely, we have a huge responsibility to heal ourselves and live a life of integrity, truth and love.
There are quite a few people who prey on the guilt around pornography – currently there are spam emails that (falsely) claim they have filmed people (using their own computer-attached cameras) masturbating and now demand substantial amounts of money to keep quiet.
“how important the quality I live in is to offering healing.” This a truth we all know as it is like visiting a doctor who tells you to give up smoking when you can smell cigarette smoke in his breath.
The more we heal ourselves, the more we are able to assist others to heal themselves.
The most powerful healers are those who have healed themselves in truth and there is nothing that they need to do to promote the healing of others, other than to live their lives in full.
When we don’t have true connection with another we crave something else, this something else can come in many forms – chocolate, alcohol drugs or porn, all will offer a quick release but will ultimately take us further away from our true selves.
Porn harms the body, it harms psychologically, it harms society and it harms relationships.
The impact of pornography has become a normality in main stream movies. Offering us another flavour on romance that is sold as the norm yet the ramifications are far harming when we are led to believe these.
I was told today that there is a movie company who are trying to make a film on a space ship, in space. This is the new thing, and it kind of makes sense, because as life gets more intense and extreme, industries – even pornography – will need to work very hard and try to create what can keep up with the increasing demands of an ever dissatisfied clientele.
Yes, and after a while pushing certain forms of extreme behaviour stop working so that extreme behaviour gets abandoned and everybody moves into a new direction as these activities are inherently tiring and unsatisfactory.
This is such a powerful blog. It really needs to be circulated more widely so that teenagers have access to it. By the time they have finished school, many teenagers have already embarked on this addiction and to have an insight as to why, would indeed be the beginnings of true healing.
In the national paper of the country I am visiting, the headline news on the front page is that the Government is going to introduce mandatory blocks on web sites because in a recent survey it has been found that boys are inundated on their phones and other electronic devices by porn sites so much so it has become a huge social issue for the country. This has to be a great first step and may be the next step is to find out what is it about our current culture that we feel the need to have these sites. Could it be that the way we are bringing up our children devoid of love and affection leaves them with a inner loneliness, that they then try and fill through other means?
I love the image to this blog, that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. No matter what and how dark it gets or twisted the addiction we can always make the choice to come back to the light as it never leaves us.
A beautiful highlighting about the image, that there is always light at the end of the tunnel, and we can choose that at any point.
There are few who have the courage and honesty to put themselves and their behaviours under the microscope in the way that you have in this article. It is deeply inspiring to read your words and observe the process you went through discarding the false layers of ‘self’ that shrouded the otherwise pristine truth from your eyes. We are One and as such what we do to ourselves is done to another and whether that be healing or harming, it is all felt by us all, all the time. As a collective, we are still way off the mark of living with the energetic responsibility required to wipe all abuse off the face of the earth, but experiences such as yours show us it is possible to enable this to occur by the way we each choose to live. Thank you for that which you have reflected for us all to consider.
Pornography is a gross bastardisation of what love is, and it has caused an enormous amount of separation in our society as you’ve shared.
Porn has now been masked in all genres of social and story media as the norm.
There is a certain type of energy felt around people who use and watch porn, its what I call sticky, people think by watching porn alone no-one will know yet there is an unsaid communication that is always playing out and our senses always do know.
Where do people get the example of what true love is and what true lovemaking is? Without being loving during the day we can’t make love in the night. Porn doesn’t reflect love and it isn’t intimate at all. The naked bodies shown are protected, often hardened and the sex shown is usually abusive.
It is true love for ourselves and our ‘brothers and sisters/others’ that allows us to change our behaviors and patterns and lets us connect back to our soul. The love Serge Benhayon has for humanity is beyond words and has inspired me constantly.
It is the lack of and need for intimacy as to why people indulge in porn, until we learn to become intimate and honest within ourselves, we will always be looking outside of ourselves, for what we crave most.
If we stopped seeing unwanted behaviours as dirty or bad, and started to understand what lives underneath, perhaps we’d find our life would change in amazing ways?
Imagine we would get met from young age on, in true intimacy and interest, so many things like porn, promiscuity, total withdrawl, depression and many others would not exist. It is the scream of the soul, that wants to express, to be loved and seen. What if the health system would research about this root cause instead of trying to find solutions to either provide more entertainment and justifications why all this exists or reducing the symptoms?!
I have been made aware recently of an alarming thing that is happening for our young people. More and more women are shaving or waxing all their pubic hair because it is an expected look as people are increasingly accessing porn. What is this saying to our young women about their bodies? That they are ugly and unattractive in their natural state?
Looked at in isolation Pornography might seem extreme, confusing, inexplicable and hard. But when we look at all we do we start to see an obsessive pursuit of stimulation is indemic in all we do. Whether it’s coffee, sugar, work, exercise or stress everything becomes a serious addiction when there’s no love. Thank you Anonymous for this inspiring blog.
That is a great point Joseph. There is this desire for stimulation, that always needs further stimulation to stay interesting and thrilling. If it does not get fed any more exciting attributes we get bored and look for even more extrems. Very much seen in extreme sports also. Or in the available foodrange.
Great observation Joseph, and to add to it I would say that what we considered to be porn 20 years ago are now images that are strewn all over magazines, clothing ads, social sites like Facebook and Pinterest without us even batting an eye at them and considering how harmful these images are in the way they objectify women, over-sexualise what is the ‘expected look’ of a modern women and are actually very demeaning. Our threshold for what we consider porn and to be unacceptable needs to be adjusted.
Such truth needs be shared with the whole of Humanity. What you have gone through is what many have and so you call them to a way out of it – that is simple and actually aware of the harm it has caused. To then see it possible to heal and never go to watching porn again. Not from overcoming the addiction but to actually heal it from within. No excuse can change that we can only heal by connecting to truth by our own will.
To understand, without judgement, what the addiction to porn is, and why it is so prolific is the greatest way to end it and the cycle of abuse that goes with it.
Judgement is a very stagnative pattern as it keeps us in our dilemma and we are never supporting anyone with it. Being absolutely truthful is the only way – who actually has the right to judge? Are there any perfect human beings out there?!
‘It was the true love I had for my clients and for myself that allowed me to ask the right questions that brought me to meet Serge Benhayon. And it is his enormous love and care for humanity that allowed me to change and create a safe space in my clinic.’
How awesome to look back on all of this and appreciate that despite the energy that was allowed into your body; the self-awareness and love which was there was the catalyst not just for your own healing but now the healing of many others.
It is so important to talk about the harm porn does. It is abuse on a scale that is all too often considered normal, or part of life.
If we could look at our energy like a chart, most of us would live in a dip with momentary highs where we get stimulated a bit. Whether that is through sugar, music, drugs, sex, alcohol or porn it all takes us away from ourselves and is what we call ‘the norm’. A chart of someone who’s truly connected is steady and strong, consistent, unwavering, even, imperfect but self-sustaining. The difference is huge. Your words here Anonymous show how we just need to focus on the quality we live, going deeper and observing the highs, lows and dips.
“My experience has informed me of how important the quality I live in is to offering healing.” One day what you share anonymous will be understood by all practitioners – for in truth we are never off duty and how we live every minuite affects the all.
“It was the first time in my life I had heard of this or come across an organisation that considered how what the practitioner does will directly impact upon the quality of healing that is offered to a client.” Universal Medicine and the Esoteric Practitioners Association presents and requires all who are offering the Universal Medicine modalities to be aware of and live in the energy of love and clear of any imposition of harming energy. You cannot clear the windscreen of a car if you are using muddy water.
If we are honest we are intimately familiar with stimulation from a very young age. Whether it is food, toys, words or drama we become masters of knowing how to use outer acts to distract. Getting numb from our true feelings is what we call a good day. Pretty soon we have to get real though, as you did Anonymous and say the things that we’re doing have a toxic effect. Then we are faced with the clear sign – it’s time to stop right away.
It is a genuine reminder Anonymous that the quality we choose to act on will greatly effect whether we provide the space to heal or harm another in all our interactions physical or not.
I love the honesty you share in this blog, to be that open with what was going on in your sessions and how you could feel your choices having an impact on your work and clients. Porn is not this thing that stays behind a closed door or private browser, it gets into every part of life.
A great point about the fact that all our choices are with us always. We cannot close a door on any abusive behaviour and it will have an ongoing effect on us and be felt by others.
Everything we do can have a stimulating effect, depending on the way we live. If we were more honest about this we would not be so surprised by the illicit addictions we gain. The addiction to porn is devastating and insidious as you show Anonymous, but what if our tendency to negative thoughts and low self esteem was just as corrosive to our heart? The bigger picture of intimacy and awareness you point to is the ‘why’ we need to explain.
Yes, it is true there are other things we can use as addictions to distract us from our low self-esteem or loneliness, but I would propose that porn is more insidious than that when it comes to young boys. It works on a false sense of intimacy and then laces all women or girls they see with the image they consider to be intimate or ‘love’. It just caps any potential for true intimacy or love.
It is great that you are sharing how this addiction played out and the effects it was having on you so that this sharing can help others heal this addiction, ”More and more men are starting to talk openly and honestly about porn addiction and the effects they observe it is having on their lives and on their loved ones.’
You took a step away from harming people because you had felt the pure love that was in your heart for all the people that would come to see you. This is the best way to change, through the inspiration of love.
The quality of energy with which we live in whether we are a practitioner or not affects everything and everyone. As I become more aware of this truth in my every day it makes me realise of the responsibility I have towards myself and towards others.
I recently had a presentation to do for college and the subject I chose was ‘How our children use technology’ and what I discovered was how easily available porn is on the internet and when searching quite innocently on topics which would not necessarily have a porn related meaning; there it was full-blown porn for anyone and everyone to see. Knowing how hooking porn is, it’s easy to see how people get addicted.
If we heal the root cause why we watch porn and are free of it, it is a gift for others, because we exactly know, out of lived experience, why we did it and how to come out of it. Not judging oneself about past choices and instead offering the wisdom to the world to them who are still stuck in the behaviour is pure gold.
It is really awesome to start to talk about this and to look at why people become addicted to porn, that it is natural for us to express intimacy with others and to see how porn hooks into this but is not it, it is a way of actually avoiding true intimacy.
YES, we need to talk about these things and don´t keep it behind the curtain. Opening up and sharing, will allow another to open up. We all seek these kind of conversations, as the reason why we do things like porn, is because no one talked or connected to each other before.
The addiction of porn can be something that destroys people, relationships, and families. Once we get hooked on the drug it can be super difficult to come off it, it’s considered normal yet creates separation in couples. I used to use porn and the more I did the more empty and drained I felt.
We are all very blessed to have the truth of what healing truly from the teachings as presented by Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon
Thankyou Anonymous for your honesty and willingness to own up to your addiction. In doing so you have brought a deeply abusive and dark subject to the fore for all to see, and given an opportunity for a deeper understanding of the widespread harm that such an addiction can and does inflict on others.
There is an unwavering level of acceptance and normalising of this addiction. When we add to the cheeky banter and jovial comments about pornography we are setting a standard of ill truth that harms in more ways than one.
Lots of people would like to change their addiction, but healing the root cause is so vital otherwise we fight against our addiction using willpower, but the understanding and true healing may not be there even if we are able to give up our addiction for sometime. We may even stop one thing but if the root cause is still there we can actually transfer it to another behaviour.
It needs a YES to something else not a NO. The NO only indicates discipline of the mind and is no whole hearted body decision, which would eventually change the behaviour.
So true Stefanie and this applies to everything in life and not just pornography… put simply, the avoidance of love or a greater love in our lives. Healing the YES to love we naturally heal the NO to that which is not love. Thank you for your comment.
Your words Anonymous make me consider if I have healed this energy in me, and whether I am expecting other people and circumstances to change while I continue on with behaviours that are not clear or true. There’s an addictive side to all consciousnesses that are not our natural light but gosh we feel so much greater when we let them go and come back to ourselves. Your words inspire here to commit to coming back to me.
That is a really great point Jospeh that the consciousnesses we align to become addictive, I wonder how quickly we would let these go if we truly felt how harming they were to others, alongside the harm to our own energetic wellbeing.
It makes perfect sense looking at the amount of soft porn that is currently seen in our society that we have many many people craving intimacy but not sure of what this is or how to actually get it.
It is a wonderful thing to be able to look back and give to ourselves the love and understanding that perhaps we did not feel we had as children. In this there can be no blame or judgement. Just simple observations which can lead to even deeper understandings and even more love.
Such a great insight into how captivating and insidious porn really is and how this is encouraged and considered a normal thing for me to do is simply very scary. The objectification of any sex is not acceptable and is feeding a source of abuse.
Anonymous, thankyou for the honesty with which you shared about the destructive effect pornography has on us as a whole from the obvious down to the details of life that we least expect.
To consider the truth of ‘unseen energetic abuse through the side effects of practitioner’s lifestyle choices,’ is so very needed. Yet, we choose to be blind and unfeeling to what is there to be seen and felt, especially if we feel vulnerable and are there in need. Discernment, greater self empowerment and trusting what we feel without overriding our senses is the 1st step to finding true support. Anonymous, your blog goes a long way to address the addiction of porn and the unseen energetic abuse that comes with it. To write so openly takes a lot of courage, thank you for sharing.
This is such an important topic to raise, and the honesty in the sharing is immensely healing to read. It is a conversation about porn we need to really develop, as to date we haven’t recognised the harm of porn on how we relate to others in our relationships. Also how it affects our behaviours and crucially how it will never satiate our desires, but instead feed even more of the same in a hollow search for love and intimacy.
The damage that pornography is doing to individuals and society at large is untold and will show itself to be one of life’s great challenges in decades to come.
The quality we live is the offering of healing that we can tap into every day. The difference being the choice to say yes to this level of responsibility or choose the comfort that is so instant and before long has us questioning and realising how little it does heal.
I used to think porn was ok if it was consenting adults and all that, but I still couldn’t get around the fact of how it truly felt, but not really knowing about energy I would, like many other things I felt, just ignore or bury that feeling. So its great to have the truth about porn and the awful energy that surrounds it exposed for what it truly is.
The saddest part is we think our acts last just for one moment, that we can dip in to something and then leave it again. We like to believe that no-one will know – but what your beautiful words clearly show Anonymous is how every choice, every act carries with it an energy and so does everything we say yes to too. So when we go for a lie, for something that is incredible hard and heavy like pornography we should know the choice is not just ‘for Christmas’ as the saying goes but for life. To reconfigure these things takes honesty, awareness, healing and time. So what do we say yes to today that may be just as toxic as pornography?
The healing power of Universal Medicine is indeed remarkable if indeed we respond with love, truth and wisdom to the messages being delivered; as you did Anonymous. Thank you for sharing your experiences, love, truth and wisdom.
Your honesty enlightens a trap in which many people are involved nowadays. As you reveal here, is the search for intimacy what lies behind this self destructive addiction? Thank you for offering your experience for more people to get inspired with it. The quality you bring now to your clients is felt in your words. Only when we heal our issues and make other choices, we are able to offer a true different way to others.
We cannot truly support another, especially not as a therapist, if we indulge in behaviours that take us out; in this case it was watching pornography but it equally applies to the consumption of alcohol, taking drugs and the myriad of offerings that allow us to check out and not be present in our body.
What is out there in the pornography world is diminishing of both women and men, and very harmful. I remember the videos I used to watch were full of dominance over women and every time after I would have to switch off the video straight away because it just felt so vile.
Thank you for sharing your development and evolution around this topic, a much needed conversation to be had and I truly feel that this blog could be shared in many ‘off the shelf’ magazines as it can provide such healing for all.
We really can become addicted to so many things, so easily… The pleasure response chemicals in the brain just get triggered, and so the addiction starts… To be able to wrest ourselves out of the grip of something so physical is a great step forward.
It’s powerful how you knew right from the start Anonymous, that something about Pornography didn’t feel great. The way we treat it with guilt, suspicion and shame tends to distract from our true feelings. It keeps the conversation about what is right and what is wrong, when our body knows the truth all along. Why don’t we come out of the closet and simply say this is seriously harming us? My feeling is this is because there are many of us who still secretly enjoy the adrenalin rush. It’s not until we actually feel the complete and utter devastation pornography causes that we will stop sponsoring it to continue.
The addictive and hooking nature of porn is not fully recognised in our society, in fact many still regard it as harmless, though deep down we all do know and can feel that porn is deeply destructive. Every cell in our body knows the truth yet we can chose to override this by listening to the wayward desire of the sprit and in doing so cause more pain to ourselves and humanity.
Thank you Anon for a very honest sharing, of how porn controlled your life and affected those who came to your practise for healing. It was great for you to feel the harmful effects of the ugly energy of porn passing through you and the harm it was doing to your clients. It is beautiful to know that now you can offer true intimacy to yourself and with integrity offer true healing for your clients.
To speak openly about porn (and many other behaviours we deem as normal) and not take it as something that we do and is part of life and society but see it as the crutch it is we use to get through life is very much needed to break the behaviours we are caught in as a whole of humanity.
We all know when we abuse ourselves but it takes honesty to admit it and self love to heal it.
Thank you for your sharing and lifting a lid on what is happening within our world of ‘support’ services. As a community we do need to look deeper into this and realise that as a practitioner if we have not healed an issue within ourselves we are not then able to truly support another with this.
‘So the images of naked skin gave me the illusion of people being close, meeting each other. In truth, I was craving intimacy – meeting people and being met by people – not sex.’ How awesome that you recognised what was truly going on here. This is a great article. Porn and the watching of it is on the increase and it is being indulged in by younger and younger people. There is also an element of violence that has infiltrated this area so that the images are becoming much more extreme and the parameters of what is accepted and “normal” are changing. So how come these boys and girls at school are in such dire need of intimacy? As adults we need to look at how we are living and how much quality time we are spending with our children as they grow up Are we really meeting them or do we just get by with a superficial kind of relationship? If we tell them we love them do we really stop to consider what love truly is?
You know, I have actually stopped using the phase “I love you” because I know that often I do not treat myself with love, so how can I lie to another and tell them that I love them when I don’t hold that love within?
What you share is absolutely massive. It is complete energetic responsibility, all we do in life effects others. We can not hide our way of life or our choices not matter what we present on the outside, all is felt and all has an effect. And the massive realisation that we cannot offer healing support to others if we are not healing ourselves.
A very open and frank account of porn and the effects it has on others and yourself. I am reading a lot more articles in the news around porn and it’s impacts. How people younger and younger are not only watching porn but bringing what they have seen directly into the world. Some people as young as year 7 are playing at porn movies on each other. I remember still being a kid at that age and I’m now 44. It doesn’t seem to be slowing down and it looks like we are walking further away from a place that truly supports us around this addiction. Many think that porn itself is ok and yet are we truly looking at the impacts or the outplays? Or are we protecting ourselves and are own behaviours.