I’ve been doing quite a bit of pondering on food and my relationship with it lately, as I have just committed to applying an autoimmune diet protocol for myself. I have taken some time to get to this point in my relationship with food, and, I must say – I have been very much inspired through my new relationship with my partner.
Having known for some time of the steps I could take to reduce inflammation within my body, and support it to truly heal… ‘life’ had gotten in the way… or had it? This got me questioning – is it possible that we are actually constantly tempted by the outside world to choose from its wide array of options, anything, so long as it does not lead us back to US?
This morning I clocked the similarity between my relationship with sex and food!… And indeed, any outside stimulation! Recently I said a big fat no to sex.
Whhhaaat??… You may ask… And why? Especially considering how touted, hyped up and glamourised sex is in our society. I had come to the end of a cycle where sex was no longer enough for me in relationships… No matter how good it was, nor how many orgasms I had with a man… still, I could no longer deny that something usually felt missing afterwards.
Having let go of this as not being ‘it’ (No matter how much society tells us it is!), I went through a period of grief… I was letting go of something – something that felt to have been my Band-Aid for a long time in this life and I had to feel what was underneath it: a deep loneliness.
In feeling this I was able to develop compassion for myself through an understanding that all I had ever been seeking (through whatever varying external stimulation) was the connection I felt missing inside of myself, and, I deepened and developed my ability to hold myself tenderly…
Through the sobbing and wondering if I would ever be with a man again, I held myself and began to truly Support myself, I began to Truly have my own back.
I began to Truly, make Love with myself; to hold myself in Love consistently so.
How this played out in scenarios out in the world included beginning to say ‘no’ to any outside advances that did not feel equal to the beholding, loving energy that I was now committed to consistently hold myself in. This period of time was very much a solidifying, re-bonding and re-parenting phase for me.
So, I said no to Sex. I renounced ‘sex’ as a substitute for True Love And True Connection!
With the support of some amazing practitioners and a couple of great friends, I began to claim what I truly wanted out of life and, what I truly wanted out of a relationship ~ I even wrote a list (but this may be for another blog!). And, I said a Big Fat Yes to Love!
Somewhere deep inside me, I knew that I was Divine; A Child of God! As such, and confirmed through my own self-nurturing, I re-connected to a knowing that God does not want us to suffer nor endure anything less-than-this confirming quality that I now held myself in. Did I have doubts? Yes, for sure, these thoughts popped in. And tried to take root in my being!
I knew innately of my worth and Divinity but, based on what I had thus far experienced (and, for the most part witnessed within my own life) I was not entirely convinced that God had an intimate, Loving relationship of the Level I was asking for in store for me! I had to surrender, to God’s plan instead of mine… And, if that meant in this lifetime I would remain single and simply raise my children and work… so-be-it. I was no longer willing to compromise on the energy of what I would accept or not accept!
And, by no compromise, I do not mean it in any kind of self-entitled way but simply, as mentioned above, that I would not compromise on the Quality of my relationship. If it wasn’t based on True Love – I wasn’t doing it. Period.
Immediately after I claimed this for myself I became aware of the fact that I had already met a man within my community who lived this same quality that I was asking for in a relationship. So, to this, I simply said yes.
I now live my every day in a relationship, with a Beautiful, True Man that consistently and completely holds me; one that supports me to remain within my own beholding quality of the True Love and Light that I am of! And I re-discovered, through my commitment to Self, that it was never-ever God who had withheld anything from me, let alone a fulfilling relationship. This had always been there, on offer… Simply waiting for me to step up and claim it.
So, how does this relate to food you may ask?
Well, just as it was never about the physical act of whether I was having sex or not, but always about the quality of energy which I chose to align to, my inner knowing says this can be applied to any and all aspects of our lives, food included.
So, in applying the same principle of choosing which energetic quality I want to remain connected with, I am embarking on a new level of renouncing and deepening with food also. Saying ‘No’ to any food that does not completely honour and support my body to remain in complete, Loving union with my Soul.
Do I have doubts?… Sure I do – I have doubts as to whether this body can be Truly vital, vibrant and full of energy in this lifetime…
But, what I do know is that it was never God who withheld a vibrant, joyful body from me. This has without a doubt been the cumulative result of the choices I have made in separation from this essence.
And, I know my way back is through my choices, one-by-one, each step with God by my side. And never ever making a choice or accepting something that that does not honour this connection.
By Pernilla Horne, Melbourne, Student
Further Reading:
Love is so Much More than I Thought it Was
Sex & Making Love
Sex and Intimacy – a Journey of Understanding
I feel we are constantly stimulated to look outside of ourselves because as you say Pernilla there is such an array of options that we almost get mesmerized by the constant array of distractions. For many of us we do not stop to question what is happening because if we look around everyone is behaving the same way. I have discovered for myself through the workshops and teachings of Universal Medicine that there is a being within the human- being and if I connect to my being then everything and anything is possible it’s like have an anchor in my body that makes it harder for me to look outside of myself but instead keeps me firmly within my body.
Deepening every relationship does happen when we align to our Essences, Inner-most-hearts / Souls and those relationships that are part of co-creation or from heaven, it feels like the whole universe has been part of our evolution.
A great reminder for me about bringing it back to quality and what is the quality I set and am in with all of my relationships including the one with myself and what quality do I nurture myself in.
“Simply waiting for me to step up and claim it” The Love we all seek is always there within us in our inner-heart just waiting for us to know and appreciate that this is who we are.
As we deepen one area of life we will simultaneously see a way to also deepen in every aspect and this is shared in this amazing blog thank you Pernilla.
Great blog for me to read right now particularly this ‘I had to surrender, to God’s plan instead of mine…’ always been a little bit (and sometimes a big bit! ?) of a wrestle with me and this one … time to let go ✨
When we eat for vitality our whole outlook on life changes, so good when we honour what our bodies want.
I can feel just how true this is ❤️
Its interesting how sex and love are often put in the same box as each other, that sex is a necessary part of a healthy relationship. Sex has the feeling of being left empty, used as a distraction to satiate, with whole industries being created around it. Love, care and the honoring of ourselves on the other hand has a depth and care when experienced that sex will no longer be enough.
Chris there is something in what you are saying that resonates with me. To honour the feeling that sex is not enough that we can and do use our bodies as a way of relieving tension is actually an assault to our delicateness and tender nature. As you say when we start to care for ourselves by connecting to the richness that resides in all of us then sex becomes meaningless because it is exposed as just function.
Commitment to self is a great place to start, deeply honouring and loving ourselves.
When we truly know God we cannot blame him or fall victim of him and in life. To know God is to know ourselves in essence with God.
We can keep saying yes to sex, but as women we know deep inside that there is something missing from this…and so it is not about withholding or being celibate forever, but it is about allowing the true intimacy to unfold from the sex and transforming it to love making and of course this is a process that takes time. Sex to me has for a long time been an empty act, but as I learn to embrace love making with all its facets and deepen the quality of relationship I have first with myself, then the physical act of connecting with my partner is one that brings in tenderness, deep care, respect, deep honouring to begin with. And so much more to discover and enjoy…
Awesome sharing Pernilla – I love how you have said no to sex and foods that don’t support you but that you have said a resounding yes to love and a relationship with a man and with food that is there to support your union with you and ultimately the most intimate part of yourself – your connection with God.
Henrietta I am just beginning to appreciate that having a relationship with God is the most important aspect of life as we are all held in the body of him. We have all forgotten that our relationship to and with God is paramount. We have instead allowed ourselves to be led astray by the religious teachings that have encouraged us to be lazy and indifferent, which has allowed a certain energy to lead us by the nose away from the one being that truly loves us. Instead we have allowed this energy to fashion God into some sort of monster who is vengeful, angry, a cruel despot unless we renounce our sins. And one of the ways to get on his so called ‘good’ side is to renounce our worldly goods and give them to the ‘church’ so that we can get a place in heaven rather than hell. If we stop and feel into this it is so ridiculous a scenario but many of us have all fallen for the proffered bait hook line and sinker
To be able to navigate my way through all of life temptations, that constantly distract us from the way back to ourselves, has only been made possible through my relationship with myself, my respect and understanding of my body and the realisation that I am the master of my choices and know what does and does not serve.
If we can’t make love with ourselves and adore ourselves them how can we expect to make love with or truly cherish and adore another. It makes sense when we look at it this way. The beauty is the more we cherish ourselves the more we then cherish everybody else.
Well said James, and often loving ourselves is the hardest part or appears to be the hardest thing to do at times – but if we can drop the expectations and the demands then how beautiful does our relationship with ourselves become – and this is part of the loving ourselves, which then follows with the adoration…and so much more!
Yes, it starts with loving and cherishing ourselves, and having this as our foundation for all relationships.
Food can be such a killer on the quality of our being which will then affect everything else that we do…
What a huge shift in how you are living – taking the things that can be comfort or release in our lives and bringing truth to it.
True and Love placed next to each other seem to give meaning to words which have otherwise lost their full intent, because really Love Just Is, and it actually needs no other word to help to define it.
Such a profound shift in what love is- starting with holding yourself in it. I love that there can be a respectful and equal relationship with intimacy that can redefine the mechanical and physical act we’ve made it into
‘Starting with holding yourself in it’ is a great 1st step and one that we can so easily forget about and miss out on, yet it is a vital step we need to take otherwise our focus becomes the other and we can easily lose track of ourselves.
I was talking with a friend this morning about the difference between function and flow and that there is always so much depth and learning when we let ourselves be open to flow rather than limited to function.
When we truly surrender to flow we are surrendering to the flow of The Universe. Function when it comes without the backing of flow is just a clunky adjunct that hinders flow.
Such a brilliant read, thank you Pernilla. It really highlights how the relationship with ourselves sets the quality of what we will or won’t accept. I especially felt the power in your line about the beholding love you held yourself in and that any relationship from then on must at least hold you on that same level of love. We really set the standards for our own lives.
Interesting how we use food and sex in the same way and we can use these things to deeply nourish and support us or we can use them to numb or distract ourselves. So its not that food or sex are bad but how we are with them that counts.
Simply eating for vitality, not for comfort, what a life of difference that makes. We do often feel tired and wonder why but do not look at our diets, and how we are feeling in our bodies concerning the food we eat.
Nothing comes more effortlessly than our natural way of being, if we just stop fighting it.
In the joy of embracing Love – anything that is not love just drops away.
Without trying and doing, being with Love, brings a way of being that deepens and we let go of what hinders us. This is what I have noticed also, Love is a hugely powerful choice, power with no force. True sustainable change occurs.
Turns out it is always about our relationship with ourself and connection to our Souls and God that is the most important thing we can invest our efforts into.
The love of self is a path of unfolding that we can each bravely walk, discarding our past self-criticism and opening to the divine being within.
So much can be felt in self-love that it changes the way we treat ourselves thereafter.
“If it wasn’t based on True Love – I wasn’t doing it”. Is quite a defining moment, when we are crystal clear, and when we make self-loving choices as in this example, the thing that we are claiming seems to flow effortlessly.
Our deepening relationship with our essences is such a joy as we redevelop that connection to that Love that resides with-in as a normal way of living, which is with the natural Loving self.
‘And, I said a Big Fat Yes to Love!’ I am constantly inspired by the examples set by those who are saying yes to all that comes to them from love.
Me too Michael it is deeply inspiring when someone says yes to love and then makes it their priority in life whatever it may look like.
When we begin to deeply honor ourselves with honoring the love we are within, it is amazing to feel how this then begins to flow through every aspect of our lives, uncovering all areas of abuse subtle and the not so subtle, so that we are addressing why we are allowing such dishonouring so we then can heal and clear these openings of abuse. The more we are willing to be honest about and address what is not truly honouring of the love we are then the more we live the truth of our Soulful way of being.
When we say a big fat yes to love, everything changes in our lives because we open ourselves to receive and allow more love to flow both ways, in and out! And our bodies so appreciate the love, joy and harmony and constantly feeds back to us, our next steps.
‘ I deepened and developed my ability to hold myself tenderly…’, this is a gift we give to ourselves, in that when we truly cherish all that we are, and then express from that place, everyone gets a blessing…
I love the way we can simply say yes to a quality that we feel to be true in life and let this be our internal compass.
I love this, instead of focussing on what we’re saying No to, make it about saying yes to the quality we’re choosing in life and is a movement towards rather than away from a deepening of love and soul connection.
Same here it is that compass that I rely on to determine how I live my life, from the inside out.
To ask ourselves “what am I truly seeking here?” is a great question. when we seek stimulation ..why? Are we not enough ? And if we felt we were just for one moment how then would we treat ourselves, our bodies?
To have a developing relationship with myself that says I am enough just the way I am, makes me so much more likely and able to make strong choices and to explore honestly when things go awry.
“But, what I do know is that it was never God who withheld a vibrant, joyful body from me. This has without a doubt been the cumulative result of the choices I have made in separation from this essence” – when we understand this, we get to understand God through the understanding of ourselves and our bodies. Our bodies hold the key to life and to God.
“And, I know my way back is through my choices, one-by-one, each step with God by my side.” Once realised, it is deeply humbling to know that we have all the support we need to do whatever has to be done. What we have to do then is learn to accept it!
‘And I re-discovered, through my commitment to Self, that it was never-ever God who had withheld anything from me, let alone a fulfilling relationship. This had always been there, on offer… Simply waiting for me to step up and claim it’. I can feel how true this is for myself having never claimed what I wanted!
The inspiration to be who we truly are is so beautiful and every day are we stepping into it more? This brings so much joy.
The beautiful gift we give ourselves is to, ‘deepen and develop our ability to hold ourselves tenderly…’. When we hold ourselves consistently in and with love, our world changes.
“Saying ‘No’ to any food that does not completely honour and support my body to remain in complete, Loving union with my Soul.” The word ‘completely’ is key here as we often like foods because of their taste or how they make us feel more active etc. but ignore what it is doing to the whole of our body. Nothing can be good for us when it is not good for us as a whole.
Being willing to come into a respectful, honest and honouring relationship with our bodies opens up a whole new world of discovery, insight and wisdom. Our bodies are constantly sign posting us about food, posture, work, exercise, rest and all we have to do is listen.
‘I held myself and began to truly Support myself, I began to Truly have my own back’. I recognise this, for I came to a point in my life where I put myself first in my life, which is the same as truly having my own back…. so much changed in the way of how nothing was too much effort if it truly supported me and honoured my body. The new steps of self-care I took, developed into true self nurture, along with a renewed sense of self-worth and self love.
Love to read this blog today, there is so much in it! And wow, it feels so claimed, and how powerful we are when we do not compromise and accept less than we deserve. When we hold ourselves in this loving way, life constellates and we draw towards us the very thing we have claimed without any effort or trying. Thankyou Pernilla for sharing all you have with us.
I have been in one long term relationship and a few short term ones and in each the most loving I thought I was being was not loving to me. I have consistently given my power away, trying to please, trying to get it right, and compromised myself bending over backwards to not create a negative reaction. Only when the abuse has been so obvious have I walked away, and before that point I have put up with a lot. Not domestic violence, I’ve never been abused in that way, but in most of my relationships I have never felt truly honoured. The lesson for me has been if I don’t truly honour myself how can I expect anyone else to?
Yes- Absoulutely Carmel
‘I am embarking on a new level of renouncing and deepening with food also. Saying ‘No’ to any food that does not completely honour and support my body to remain in complete, Loving union with my Soul.’ I love the absoluteness of this. I feel inspired and emboldened. Thank you Pernilla.
I love your willingness to explore this – your rawness to see that behind the food and the sex was a woman who was missing herself.
When we eat for vitality rather than eating for relief and comfort our food choices become very different.
The deeper we connect to ourselves the more possible it is to renounce things. Without that connection we still ‘need’ the outside distractions and stimuli. As we connect deeper with ourselves and feel the beauty of this, we find a strength within that is not needy of anything else. This is when we can truly renounce.
“Recently I said a big fat no to sex. Whhhaaat??… You may ask… And why?” – when you experience truly making love, anything less is never worth having again.
Soo True
‘…it was never God who withheld a vibrant, joyful body from me. This has without a doubt been the cumulative result of the choices I have made in separation from this essence.’ True Pernilla, we can only start anew with the relationship with our body and find the way back to God and to see every clearing by illness of disease as a blessing on our return to living the divinity we are.
‘But, what I do know is that it was never God who withheld a vibrant, joyful body from me.’ so true and is always there for us to return to whenever we say yes.
I can see how I have used food and sex to feel better or fix something or not feel at all. This is a great sharing of your honesty with food and sex and how you let go of the individual.
Its beautiful to feel how when we do start to really honour our bodies, how they respond so readily and easily and support us to take this honouring even deeper without us even having to try or to think about it.
A big fat no to sex, and likewise a yes to love. It highlights the difference between the two, that its all about quality and very much at the coal face of our most intimate of relationships. There is so much to learn from how we live, and how we interact with each other – are we prepared to make changes, to honour ourselves deeply, to live the love?
To ‘honour this connection’ allowing ourselves to walk alongside God and to let this be our inspiration to step up and forward in life, living our true purpose in full… this is gold.
What power we uncover when we say no to compromise
Absoluteness…
No outside stimulation comes close to feeling the divine love within ourselves. I love how when you committed to nothing less than love your outer experience reflected the same.
It is a really transformative moment when we realise, accept and honour the fact that there is no outside stimulation that comes close to the feeling of being deeply connected to ourselves and therefore life.
Saying no was in fact a big YES to love. Thank you for sharing Pernilla.
This is an important point in all we do, in saying no, or thinking we are not doing anything we are in fact saying yes to something else and or doing something else. Therefore, it is always for us to feel and discern what we want to say yes to.
With love we can transform anything and begin to experience the joy of a deeper connection with our Soul.
“I began to Truly, make Love with myself; to hold myself in Love consistently so.” So beautiful and so true the reality of being true love and accepting who we are as this is a vital ingredient in our lives for without feeling it we are never whole and always missing our greater self within that nothing on the outside can fulfil.
” In feeling this I was able to develop compassion for myself through an understanding ”
This is so important to develop understanding as to how one got to where they are in life that is not them in truth.
‘I deepened and developed my ability to hold myself tenderly…’ So often we can be self-critical and judgmental and so to hold ourselves tenderly feels beautiful and hugely supportive.
‘But, what I do know is that it was never God who withheld a vibrant, joyful body from me. This has without a doubt been the cumulative result of the choices I have made in separation from this essence.’ I can very much relate and agree with this. It’s not about giving myself a hard time but seeing how I’ve lived has battered my vitality on a consistent level. Loving myself regardless of past choices and bringing myself to a loving understanding in connection with my essence is where it’s at.
Saying no, to anything that is not truly loving, is wise.
Rachel in simple terms I completely agree, and what I love is how that saying no can come from our whole body, that feels we get when we know to do something or not to do something. If we follow that feeling we are holding ourselves and everyone else in love. Simple but very wise.
“I began to Truly, make Love with myself; to hold myself in Love consistently so.” Such a beautiful thing to do for yourself Pernilla. Something that I am sure many of us attempt but dont always follow through. But there is always an opportunity to make another choice. Very inspiring, thank you.
“I now live my every day in a relationship, with a Beautiful, True Man that consistently and completely holds me; one that supports me to remain within my own beholding quality of the True Love and Light that I am of!” – what honouring Pernilla, and an honouring made possible because you honoured yourself first to set that as the standard of love.
Indeed, the respect for self and saying no to compromise or dropping your standards has to come first before we can expect anyone else to treat us with that respect. Then it is like energies on a magnet coming together rather than poles opposing and repelling each other.
Often we think renouncing something is denying something, renouncing is in truth a powerful choice to let something go that does not support us. I renounce regularly, throughout the day, a thought that doesn’t support, a mood, when I am not being purposeful, emotions, reactions, routines that exhaust my body. Renunciation could be a word we use and activate regularly, it make a lot of sense.
Yes this is how renunciation is often perceived.. that we miss out. Though in fact we gain more love, respect and liveliness when we discard what does not truly support us.
Thank you Samantha. It is strong and supportive to hear about the regularity with which you renounce; being aware and consistent, willing to learn and not perfect.
Love this Samantha – renouncing is not about giving something up, its about making space for a truth.
Agreed Gill, it turns on its head the need for food, why we eat and what food can bring us. We bring us to food and then choose what supports us not bring food to us.
That makes so much sense David. When we are connected with ourselves , we bring us to food, and when we do, we know what food the body needs, whereas when we bring food to us, it is so easy to over-ride the messages from our body, and super easy to over-eat too.
Interesting isn’t it that when we let go of an addiction or something we are really attached to we feel grief or sadness but not because we are sad about losing the comfort or numbing blanket we have discarded or lost but the sadness or emptiness underneath that our habit or addiction was covering up all along and is now more out in the open to feel.
Soo True Andrew..
Andrew this for me was indeed something key, how we spend so much time trying to fight the action or what the end result is and yet all along the real healing needs to take place with what has resulted in this activity in the first place. What hurt are we covering up?
…and the hurt we have caused ourselves through our own ill choices.
It is interesting to contemplate those moments where we feel life has got in the way, as it might really mean we are either taking things on from life in our reactions or dismissing what is really going on for us.
‘…is it possible that we are actually constantly tempted by the outside world to choose from its wide array of options, anything, so long as it does not lead us back to US?’ nailed it in a single question.
…..A Big YES, it is like we want the array, the flavours, the temptations because they stimulate and make it all about the me and not the All. When we start to surrender to ourselves, we realise it is not about the me, it is about us, all and humanity and how we are together, and not the individual.
Agreed Michael, how important is this single point, the very fact that society is built to be anything and everything but who we are shows the incredible importance in living in a way that supports us to stay connected to who we are. If we don’t we end up with the state the vast majority of us are in today, the state where we a getting through an existence in life rather than truly living.
It’s inspiring to read how it’s possible to choose to simply let go of something that doesn’t serve you. Not by critically picking life apart but holding life’s grander purpose close to your heart.
‘How this played out in scenarios out in the world included beginning to say ‘no’ to any outside advances that did not feel equal to the beholding, loving energy that I was now committed to consistently hold myself in. This period of time was very much a solidifying, re-bonding and re-parenting phase for me.’ This sounds an amazing programme to put oneself on. Perhaps it’s time I fully committed to consistently hold myself in a loving energy and return to myself rather than chase any outside stimulants whether they be food or drama or stress etc.
Recently, I have been changing my diet to support my body and it’s been a really interesting journey of resisting letting go of foods which I know are not supportive for me. I’m learning that in order to let certain foods go, I need to be prepared and organised with foods which are nourishing so that I’m not tempted by ‘quick fixes’.
Yes Fiona~ I totally get that
“I was letting go of something – something that felt to have been my Band-Aid for a long time in this life and I had to feel what was underneath it: a deep loneliness” – when we let go, we learn to feel, and when we feel we learn to heal.
Yes, I agree with this Pernilla and am making those same steps back to the full embrace of love that we intimately know as children – ‘I know my way back is through my choices, one-by-one, each step with God by my side.’
‘I began to Truly, make Love with myself; to hold myself in Love consistently so.’ accepting no substitute from anyone else means that we start to approach ourselves in the same way, opening up to more love from within to be expressed toward ourselves.
It is gorgeous and such an important point to pick up on Michael as then the quality we bring to another is magnified so we are not using them to get anywhere or anything rather get to celebrate the gloriousness we both are together, what happens next is then truly magical.
It is a beautiful thing, to re-parent yourself with the love that you know is abundant in your heart – no conditions there, just pure and simple self-adoration because you are you. That is true parenting in its finest expression.
” And, I know my way back is through my choices, one-by-one, each step with God by my side. And never ever making a choice or accepting something that that does not honour this connection. ” Very beautifully said. Rather than having regrets or ‘pining’ for what no longer supports us, we can learn to fully embrace and honour the depth of what we know and are connected to deep within.
If we have regrets we have not accepted the choices that we have made and so become stuck in an energy that does not allow us to truly move forward. In accepting we learn to move on and make different choices that do truly support us.
“I now live my every day in a relationship, with a Beautiful, True Man that consistently and completely holds me..” – beautiful to feel the potential of love when self-love has been embraced.
Saying ‘no’ to having sex is saying ‘yes’ to making love. They are completely different vibrations energetically although the physical act may look similar.
‘Somewhere deep inside me, I knew that I was Divine; A Child of God! As such, and confirmed through my own self-nurturing, I re-connected to a knowing that God does not want us to suffer nor endure anything less-than-this confirming quality that I now held myself in.’ – it’s very beautiful to feel and read your absolute commitment to honouring your divine self, Pernilla.
I love this sharing and the inspiration to simply surrender to Gods plan from accepting nothing less than love and saying no to anything that is not in every area of our lives.
Surrender is so deeply precious, a gift in itself.
This is a great question to ask
“is it possible that we are actually constantly tempted by the outside world to choose from its wide array of options, anything, so long as it does not lead us back to US?”
I am discovering that we are masters in stealth and subterfuge when it comes to denying who we truly are. Why do we act in this way? What is it about us that we are unable to admit that we are fooling ourselves making our lives a misery when actually we can live a life of joy and vitality ? Life as it is currently lived makes no sense to me at all.
“And, I know my way back is through my choices, one-by-one, each step with God by my side. And never ever making a choice or accepting something that does not honour this connection.” This is cool, what I find is that when I do make a choice that it is not about love, truth and evolution I am the only one who judges me, before growing up I thought God judged me, I now know that to be a lie we are feed. Dropping self judgement is huge in our path back home.
The intention behind everything we do determines whether it will be either supporting us to grow or actually doing us and others harm. Our choice.
“I had to surrender, to God’s plan instead of mine” – when we surrender to God’s Plan, we realise how much that is our own plan.
It sure is Zofia and a truly magical one at that, and surpasses any pictures we could ever have or held about how we wanted things to be as soon as we allow ourselves to be the part of God’s Plan that we are here to be.
“So, I said no to Sex. I renounced ‘sex’ as a substitute for True Love And True Connection!” – as you explore here you take sex out and replace it with food, and then the trillions of other ways that we substitute for true love and true connection.
When we renounce something it is gone forever and therefore we never have to call ourselves an ex smoker, drinker, drug addict etc because through renouncing we remove the offending energy that brought about those behaviours.
What makes us who we are is what energy we have chosen to align to.
Yes, Pernilla, it is super powerful to go initiate the process of renouncing anything and everything that does not support the clear and simple alignment to our soul.
Janet I am with you on this, by stepping forward with what is loving and signing up to our soul we easily let what is not drop away. But applying more focus on renouncing what is not aligning us with soul is key in helping accelerate and not dither on the do I, don’t I. What I found was it was not actually hard letting go of the ‘things’ it was the relief and numbing those things bought me that I had to deal with that I wrestled with.
“The way we do anything is the way we do everything” A quote I remember from somewhere in my past that comes to mind when reading this blog. The way we relate to food is the same way we relate to sex and anything else for that matter. If we have an addictive pattern that stems from a need the energy and reason for the behaviour is exactly the same no matter what we choose to fill the void.
It’s powerful to feel how we will start to make choices about what we will accept into our relationships and lives according to those that have gone before them. i.e. if we making choices to be loving toward ourselves more will follow and we will begin to only accept the same from others too.
I got to that point also where having sex just left me feeling like it wasn’t it. That there was something missing so I to said enough to leaving myself and the other of feeling short changed. Since then an absolute attention to my relationship with myself has deepened and this was what was really lacking to start with.
True Natalie, we might like to look for the cause or reason out there but it will always come back to our relationship with ourselves as it is this that deepens and nourishes and fulfills everything we then do or share with another.
Thanks, Pernilla. I love what you have shared here about surrendering…not trying to control everything and make things happen but to ‘let go and let God’ as they say. We are part of a very grand plan, and all we have to do is stayed connected in everyday life to play our part.
Let go and let God – a beautiful saying that reminds us who is really in charge here and that we are indeed part of a beautiful and very amazing plan. All we need to do is commit to making life about Love.
“I had to surrender, to God’s plan instead of mine…” – which means getting rid of any pictures about “what things; the future will look like” – not an easy task, and an extensive one too but at least in the knowing of this and what ‘to surrender’ means we can at least make a start.
Renouncing is one thing I’m still learning to do. It feels like it’s important to totally feel how much you hate what you want to change. Then also identify what could be encouraged in its place. We don’t have to focus on cutting out but making new Love.
This is something which was a surprise to me when I realised that i didn’t hate so much that I could clearly see what was harmful – exposing of myself and the investments that remained in me. I’m sure there are still some there but great to feel the letting go of so many of them.
Even before feeling how much we hate what we want to change, it’s super important to nominate that what we are feeling is not us – if it’s not love, it does not belong as while we allow it to continue we are dis-honouring our selves and everyone else.
We need to renounce as readily as those throwing ballast out of a hot air balloon that is fast approaching a mountain range.
I could feel the surrender and the humbleness of walking with god through our body, so much joy is felt.
What an honouring blog. The path of resurrection, as we walk our way out of the lovelessness we have allowed in our lives and our bodies.
“I would not compromise on the Quality of my relationship. If it wasn’t based on True Love – I wasn’t doing it.” When I was married, I came to a point when I realised that to ‘keep the peace’ my relationship and everything about life had to be about compromise. And I would imagine I am not the only one who has done this. But what you are showing us here Pernilla is that when it comes to true love, there can be no compromise. If thats the truth we choose to live by, then others will either accept it or reject it, and that is then their own choice too.
Thank you Sandra, for reflecting back to me the depth and quality of True Love!
Doors start magically opening when we make decisions that are lovingly true and come from the body, and that is the trick to surrender to Gods plan instead of our own.
Yes~ Agreed in Full Kev!
This is so true and it is deeply humbling a bit intimidating but every step there is support for us to walk with god.
Thank you for a very frankly shared peek into your life Pernilla! An inspiration for us all.
I can really see the link here you make between sex and food and how both can be used to give us relief from something we don’t want to feel or they can be a way of nourishing us.
So familiar for everyone to blame life as you initially did when looking at how you had not taken the steps to reduce inflammation in your body: “life had gotten in the way”. A valuable example is offered here in stopping and considering why and how we ourselves might be choosing to not go there.
It’s very true what you have shared about sex and how this is another one of the distractions, or moments of excitement in an otherwise substandard life. So instead of it being part of a deeply loving, ongoing connection, we have turned it into a cheap theme park ride. I can definitely relate to this and using it as a Band-Aid, emotional hook or ‘up’ in my relationships. And although sex may be glamorised and sought after, the reality is far from this for most of us.
“Are actually constantly tempted by the outside world to choose from its wide array of options, anything, so long as it does not lead us back to US”? I would say yes, tempted but also choosing/attracting those temptations. When I choose to be the whole me, it feels like the simplest most natural thing in the world. It takes no effort. So to not be this takes a lot of effort and distractions to keep me away from it. Food is definitely one of the obvious things but there are also many habitual ways of being less that are part of it.
I LOVE renouncing what is not true. It make more room to reimprint all that is.
We are space, it is literally what constitutes us and so the question is, what are we clogging our space up with? Space can’t be all that it is if we’ve filled it up with junk.
Very inspiring Liane. I still tend to feel sorry for myself that I won’t get to experience something ever again. Time to focus on the potential I could step into rather than focussing on the past.
It sure is Ariana, it is saying yes to the love and truth we know and by doing so no to anything less.
A few years ago, I first heard the expression ‘junk sex’ referring to having sex for the sake of it, with no true connection or love involved just the same kind of quick gratification as is available with ‘junk food’ with no real nourishment. It seems apparent now that sex is always somewhere in this category and that meaningful sex is just a false purpose, compared to making love which is a physical celebration of the loving acts which have already been made through time between two people.
A huge statement and insight: “And, I know my way back is through my choices, one-by-one, each step with God by my side. And never ever making a choice or accepting something that does not honour this connection.” – when this will be truly honoured and lived we will see the world change to be the life of the Soul on earth.
yes step by step….
‘So, I said no to Sex. I renounced ‘sex’ as a substitute for True Love And True Connection!’ – isn’t this what we all deeply madly crave – true love. Sharing a connection with another than allows us to be truely intimate, vulnerable, fragile whilst being held as equally divine as the other and reciprocating without any holding back. So why do we sell our selves short and settle for less.
When we get clear on what we want and the reasons for it and then commit to living it, miracles can occur.
I totally agree Sarah!
What has helped me to accept how very precious, powerful and exquisitely divine I am, is to learn to get myself out of the way. By that, I mean to understand that whilst I ‘think’ of myself as an individual, my world is very small and it revolves around me. To know that I am one of billions of equally divine, amazing women in this world allows me to feel the impact on everyone else when I am not claiming all that I am. It’s a work in progress and I am loving feeling the expansion as I allow myself to live more of who I truly am.
Quite simply the more we say yes to true love the more we naturally say no to abuse in its many clever disguises.
There is so much to read about sex, so much sensationalism and big room just to sell the lie of what it is. Because in order for a lie to keep going we have to keep lying, adding bits to the story here and there – everywhere.
‘And, I know my way back is through my choices, one-by-one, each step with God by my side. And never ever making a choice or accepting something that that does not honour this connection.’ – what is so beautiful and inspiring about your words here is to feel how you are already living them.
‘I re-connected to a knowing that God does not want us to suffer nor endure anything less-than-this confirming quality that I now held myself in.’ – what an absolute and complete claiming and honouring of you, Pernilla. What I can feel in my deep appreciation of you and your relationship with yourself is how much we compromise in life, rather than beholding our selves in the divinity that we all are.
Yes~ Even when we choose to ignore the fact, we are always held
Every cell in my body lights up when I read: ” I would not compromise on the Quality of my relationship. If it wasn’t based on True Love – I wasn’t doing it. Period.” I love it! Shows how easily each of us could choose to start applying this same criteria to each and every aspect of our lives.
To be sexy is to be alluring, deliberately attracting the opposite sex in order to feel good about one’s self. That was what the word meant to me as I was growing up, and it was a bad word, a dirty word in the society I grew up in (Catholic Convent education). Now I am learning that sexy can be fun, it is simply a woman being fully who she is.
Yes Carmel, I soo agree.
Yep we have given the word sexy so many connotations that just are not true. Awesome to be claiming back what true sexy means ✨
So true, Carmel – I didn’t grow up with an extremely religious education, however, I feel the era I grew up in was still heavily affected by ‘Victorian morals’ resulting in my having exactly the same understanding of the word ‘sexy’ as you. It feels gorgeous to now be able to feel myself as being ‘sexy’ in the true sense of the word.
It sure is Carmel, ‘sexy can be fun, it is simply a woman being fully who she is’, you can substitute women with man as well.
“And, I know my way back is through my choices, one-by-one, each step with God by my side. ” God is forever there with us all. It is we who leave God and then rail against him for not being there for us!
Everything we do in life has an energetic intention behind it, in knowing what this is we can understand why we are choosing to do what we choose and then the result which will ensue.
A beautiful and inspirational example of what can unfold when we start to truly take responsibility for our own choices and our day to day living.
So often we see the words sex and love appearing in the same sentence and hence being regarded as inseparable activities. It is a huge and healthy shift in our life education to then witness a person saying they reject the ‘sex’ part and will only allow the activity of ‘love’ in their lives or else its zero interaction in the bedroom. When we fully come to understand the breadth of love that can be lived in all areas of our lives, this actually is more of a ‘no-brainer’ than we can imagine and brings such a depth of intimacy, joy and playfulness to every aspect of life, both in and out of the bedroom that it becomes obvious why we wouldn’t accept anything less.
So so so inspired! Thank you for sharing such an intimate path with us all so we can be inspired and know the way back.
Renunciation can be misunderstood and or misused as sacrifice or deprivation, but in truth it sets free from something that has limited or reduced us, therefore it creates space to embrace more of who we are.
How true, renounciation is often seen to be something negative when really, it is quite the opposite.
Powerful beyond words and truly freeing the chains that we often tie ourselves to with the ideals and beliefs of how we perceive the world and our part in it.
Fabulous to read this comment Alex. Yes, we can often think that we are being deprived when we make a choice to give something up, but really it is not a sacrifice to give up something that is in fact reducing and limiting us. So good to be reminded.
Its amazing how life constellates around us when we claim ourselves in some way – by saying no to something and yes to something else. Our authority is more powerful than we give it credit for.
I recently had a week’s detox when it came to food – nothing major, just that I was in a position where the usual indulgences in food and sugar where hard to hide, and so rather than try and sneak in foods I knew weren’t doing me any good anyway, I surrendered to something I often resist – just eating nourishing food, with no binge eating and snacking, high sugar intake bursts to dull me down. But all week I was planning ahead to when I was home and seemingly ‘free’ to buy whatever I wanted and eat it without anyone knowing, it was what got me through the sugar cravings, and yet when I got home and I bought myself some sugary foods and sat to eat them, I was disappointed. Sure, they were what I had been craving all week but now that the withdrawal was more out of my system, suddenly they didn’t taste as good as I had imagined, didn’t give me any relief from tension, because I was more at ease with it anyway. I suddenly realised I had been putting myself back into another pattern with food on purpose, because I couldn’t imagine life without sugar and snacks for more than a week, but I realised that I was actually free to choose that pattern or not. So I bagged the food up that didn’t feel supportive and threw it away, and then went shopping for food that did feel like it would be the nutrition I needed, and it felt super solid in myself to do this. Sometimes we get so used to a behaviour we don’t see an alternative, and sometimes, as in my case, we don’t really want an alternative because the behaviour is like an addiction and it gives us something we think we need – relief, stimulation, distraction etc. but the behaviour is still our choice. It was great to have an opportunity to break that cycle, but it wasn’t because of anything outside of me – if I had really wanted to, I would have eaten sugar that week, but something inside me was ready to let go, and I keep reminding myself to let go every time the craving for sugar comes up.
This is the hook which can keep us in many addictions and yet we will often attribute it to something else. It is not the item which keeps us addicted, it is us.
Esoteric yoga is like making love to yourself. From this foundation we support ourselves first, that benefits everyone and all the relationships we have.
Wow, what a commitment. I didn’t feel any sacrifice rather a dedication to respect yourself and others with a level of Love that had not been embraced or lived.
Agreed Lucy, so often we do things to make ourselves ‘feel better’ but in reality its not about feeling better but instead about not feeling or trying not to feel, this blog shows what is possible when we do allow ourselves to truly love ourselves.
“And, I know my way back is through my choices, one-by-one, each step with God by my side. And never ever making a choice or accepting something that does not honour this connection” Living, making choices in this way is a life of evolution and ever expanding horizons.
What I feel Pernilla is offering us all here is nothing short of saying NO to the temporary comforts and distractions of creation that lead us astray, and saying a big YES to living in a way that honours our true divinity and does our best to not consume or do anything that would compromise this connection. There is such a strong claiming here, and I love the concept of bringing our strengths in to other areas that we may tend to be weaker at. It shows how little steps can build to very strong foundations, like hundreds of ants building a gigantic ant hill fortress.
Yes~ We may not always feel the strength of the foundation we are building for ourselves, but When we Stop, take stock And Surrender, life has a way of showing us how far we’ve come, and That’s certainly Worth Appreciating 🙂
Staying in loving union with the soul…now that is a great basis from which we can make choices, be it with food, sex, work, relationships etc.
Yes agree Janet, a strong foundation of love is key to understanding life, relationships and ourselves deeper.
Sometimes to truly be with someone else we first need to learn to truly be with our self, otherwise what we are with others is not true at all.
True 😉
We can spend a lifetime seeking for something – we may not know what it is, but we can feel the absence of it, so that when we find something that appears to fill the gap, we go for it. Sadly there are a lot of distractions that numb us, like TV, alcohol, food and other activities. Once we understand that everything we need is already within us, then we can reconnect and search within rather than look outside and be constantly disappointed.
By bringing our focus to one area of our lives that may be weaker than other areas, and then bringing all the qualities that we have in the areas where we are stronger to that part, we support ourselves to build a new and solid relationship with that particular weakness. By doing this consistently it then becomes as strong as all the other areas in our life.
Sex, either with another or with ourselves has become a momentary distraction from the fact that we are disconnected from ourselves and therefore from all others. We have dressed it up, in the same way that we have food, to be something special, something interesting, alluring and appealing but much like food, it can never ever satisfy the being, regardless of how much you consume.
To love, honour, respect and adore ourselves (our essence) in full is to re-develop a deeper relationship with God and we can stop fighting to keep ourselves in separation from Him and the Universal Rhythms that we are part of.
A beautiful and absolute surrender is felt throughout this blog – Thy will, not mine.
“I had to surrender, to God’s plan instead of mine…”
Absoulutely.
“I had to surrender, to God’s plan instead of mine… And, if that meant in this lifetime I would remain single and simply raise my children and work… so-be-it. I was no longer willing to compromise on the energy of what I would accept or not accept!” What a powerful sentence, and one that changes the goal posts in life depending on what is important to us. Do we want what we personally want, or do we want what is best for the greater plan, truth and evolution?
What I love about what you are presenting here is how we can use one part of our life to inspire us to heighten our standards in another part of our life, we could be endlessly inspiring ourselves to the next level with this approach – for example, if we notice at home we take care of ourselves super super well, but at work we make it about function first and don’t take such good care of our body, so then all we have to do is apply the same care at work, and then in the next area of our lives and so on and so on – it’s a great way to be constantly building in life.
Agreed Meg and it is for each of us, over time (hundreds of years) to work our way back to being a constant terminal of love and never ever anything else.
I really love what you have shared here Meg, very cool especially ‘ we can use one part of our life to inspire us to heighten our standards in another part of our life’. How often do we consciously say to ourselves ‘I need to raise the standards in my life!’. This is something I have been aware of more and more.
It is wonderful reading true stories of people reassessing their life and sharing about the areas they have found to be unsuitable and the ones that are supportive to deepening awareness and expanding the love expressed in their life. Such conversations offer greater understanding about dynamics of life. They also inspires you to pay more attention to refining how you live so that you too can express more of who you are.
It was never ever God’s mistake as such to walk away from our love, it has always been us that walked away, but heh you know what, we can walk back at any moment. No need for regret.
So True Danna.
Renouncing sex in truth is no different from renouncing ice cream in truth, both stimulate, get us drooling and keep us in the pattern of craving and goals, the sweet taste or the orgasm. There are a lot of parallels in life, in what we eat and how we live. And I have found that there are layers here, the renouncing deepens and we deepen our relationships with ourselves.
We can have just as an abusive relationship with food as we do with people – it can be our drug, our crutch, our self abuse etc.
“And, I know my way back is through my choices, one-by-one, each step with God by my side” – the path of re-turn is such a personal path, and that’s why we cannot compare our walk with God to another’s walk because both walks are of bespoke equal standing. Of course.
Being in a respectful and responsive relationship with our bodies supports us in all our daily choices. We cannot lie about what is truly supportive, not only for us but also for everyone else.
Very true Matilda, our body constantly does its best to support us, yet we can choose to abuse it, the more we respond to the way it is asking us to be the more it can in turn not only support us but actually build and depeend the love we are rather than constantly only being about getting us back to where we went off the rails.
I remember it being a significant lightbulb moment when I realised that my addictive trips to the gym were no different to my pot smoking, both served the same purpose, which was to momentarily quash my inner agitation. In fact, in all honesty the strenuous exercise was probably more harmful, because at least with the pot smoking it’s widely accepted to be bad for your health, whereas strenuous exercise is touted as being good for you.
So true, we have judgments and benchmarks for what is dysfunctional and what is supportive yet rarely consider the quality and the reason behind our behaviour.
The amazing thing is that when we say no to one thing that we feel we deserve more than, it starts to raise our standards, and every additional no keeps building those standards and also our sense of worth.
Oh my word, what a beautiful blog. So inspiring and very real. I lapped up every word.
When we hear the truth, it’s the body that ‘Laps up every word’. The body is as enthusiastic as a dog drinking out of a bowl of water after a long walk on a hot day.
Love is the knowingness, the beingness that you already are everything.
Love the playful, lightness with which you have explored your choices Pernilla.
“I have taken some time to get to this point in my relationship with food, and, I must say – I have been very much inspired through my new relationship with my partner” – mine fell the other way round, as in the moment i felt the relationship with myself go to another level, found that my relationship with food also changed to mirror the renewed support i was now allowing of myself as a woman in the way i relate to my body …. Or maybe they both happened around the same time, either which way it shows that the two [relationship and food.. and they ensuing qualities] are inextricably linked.
‘So, I said no to Sex. I renounced ‘sex’ as a substitute for True Love and True Connection!’ awesome, I can feel the comfort of being in a sexual relationship and the arrangements formed. Amazing to let go of this and embrace true love.
It is incredible how we can turn pretty much every aspect of life into a way of avoiding being with ourself and so that we can continue to ignore the feelings and reflections we have not wanted to face. Food, sex, the internet, games, missions, hobbies, work. I have personally noticed that even activities that tick the boxes for taking care of ourselves or helping others can be used in that manner.
Yes I agree Golnaz. Our avoidance tactics can be extremely sneaky but the insane part of it is, is that what we are trying to avoid be with is just so incredibly awesome!
We cannot hide can we? We can try and deceive ourselves and “make do” but that voice from the stillness inside us knows what the Truth is however much we try to deny it. We know when we opt for second best, or comfort, or abusive self behaviour, because the kick back comes afterwards when that empty feeling clocks in. It is knowing we have made those choices, and why, more than what we chose to do which helps us to uncover the truth of ourselves,
Yes, so beautifully True Joan
It is amazing how much food rules our lives so the more true choices we make in what we eat, the more truth we will have in our lives.
If we renounce what does not come from love then we will eventually be left with love.
Sometimes the things we hold onto as band aids are not obvious but if we are open to accepting that they may exist it does not take long for them to be exposed naturally.
Somewhere deep inside, we all know that we are Divine; A Child of God. When we connect to our inner most there we feel it. No wonder with todays lifestyle always moving, people are so stressed they are missing that super gorgeous loving connection with themselves.
A decision to greater look after ourselves in one aspect of our life often relays into other areas as well, and hence no action should ever be treated as small or insignificant and should instead be valued for it’s importance in the bigger picture.
Sex can make a relationship feel ‘better’. Better is a thick comfort blanket that we use to lie about the fact that we are not living the true depth that is available.
Yes~ And, it only inspires me to Surrender & feel even Deeper, let go of more of what’s not in Truth me & continue to step up what I accept as ok for me.
It is interesting what you say about sex not being enough, no matter how ‘good’ it was – and this can be the same with food – even when its the best cake or pizza or ice-cream or whatever it is you love, I found it gets to a point where it just doesn’t taste as good as it does in my head.
Truly renouncing like this brings a deep level of healing and allows us to embrace so much more of who we are.
Yes~ Indeed Michael, I can Absoulutely confirm this as a Truth with all my being.
For the last week I have been staying with friends in another country. We share a very similar diet, gluten and dairy free, but they have let go of sugar far more than I have. There are no rules in the house and I have bought for myself some fruit to eat for breakfast, but it has been amazing to feel the space of eating less sugar, but also the cravings, the voice in my head telling me to go and get something from the shop without anyone knowing and eat it before I get back, are the thoughts of junkies and addicts, but that is what sugar does to us.
“No matter how good it was, nor how many orgasms I had with a man… still, I could no longer deny that something usually felt missing afterwards” – no matter if it’s sex, food, a good time, without quality connection and hence lack of intimacy it always leaves a metallic aftertaste.
Yes~ Agree Zofia!
Spaciousness in our body leaves us free to feel, to read what is going on, but eating certain foods can make us feel heavy and dull so we are unable to feel the energy passing through us. We need to eat to support our body physically and we can also support our body energetically by eating only foods that nourish.
Yes~ I can feel that it is actually bigger, the choice to feel, align to and act with the impulse that is self-nourishing and Supportive.. than the actual type of food/activity
Seeking stimulation or numbing from the food and activities of life leads us further away from the intimacy we are seeking with ourselves and others.
We have turned ‘seeking stimulation and/or numbing from food’ into a National pastime. Literally we have.
Very true, do we approach life from wanting some type of stimulation or wanting connection. It changes everything in my experience.
Very well said Elizabeth – so often we crave the connection with another but if we 1st do not give it to ourselves we then cannot bring it to another.
It sure is gold – it is also a headline grabber yet without all the frills yet broken down so eloquently as you have.
So true Elizabeth.
Gorgeous Pernilla, it goes to show what comes our way when we commit to love and how deeply love supports us the more we say yes to it and no to anything less.
Now that is an inspiring list to write. This blog shows me how simple it is. Thank you.
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Yes- spot on Gill, life really is one whole, try as we might to compartmentalise it!
and everything leads back to us and eventually all of us will lead back to God and finally there will be no-thing but Him.
In every area of life we have to keep spotting and renouncing what is not loving and not honouring of the true essence deep within us. Otherwise we will keep going round and round in the same pit and hailing it as our normal.
Yes and how important are the people and situations that come into our lives that offer us an opportunity to question our normal? It is a great design!
Brilliant to be wrapping these two subjects together. Love it.
Supporting ourselves with the food we eat is so important, we can be very specific and get to really know what works and does not work for each of us. Even within the same purpose (to support the immune system) there would be differences between each of us that make it tailor-made, and we start to feel and appreciate the changes brought by being this responsive to our bodies.
Yes~ Absolutely Rosanna the detail is refined for us individually and may be very subtle differences.
I can see the link here between food and sex and how if we go for the short term fix or relief rather than from a place of deep love and connection with ourselves and others, always leaves an empty hollow feeling afterwards rather than true fulfilment.
Learning life is all about energy choosing love or what is not love. I am finding life changing too bringing a real understanding and simplicity and way of being – this is really challenging at times but so worth while and explains what i have been looking for inside and always missing, and allows the opportunity to really love oneself and everyone gracefully.
There are many other examples that pertain in other parts of our life. This blog is a great sharing of how this may be for us all. A great pondering.
There is so much out there in the world that is designed to distract or stimulate us, basically keep us occupied so we don’t lay down a standard of true love and that aligns us with our souls. I love the commitment that flows out of this Blog Pernilla, it makes it all feel doable.
Agree Kev. Super accessible, super real, super do-able. Leading the way.
Learning to love oneself again is one of my life’s biggest lessons which is continually unfolding and deepening. And it is a beautiful experience because the more I love myself the more I feel love towards others that I hold them in the same quality I hold myself equally so. When we can all live in this way there will be no wars because how can you go to war with people you hold as precious as yourself?
We don’t need to be perfect or free of doubts. We just need to say yes to love and set that standard as a line in the sand. It seems too simple but thats the way the soul works!
After reading your blog it came to me just now that I have never really claimed in my life what I would like from or in a relationship but it feels good within my heart to do this, no pictures or expectations just expressing from my inner heart.
Yes~ That was a Powerful experience for me, in that I have now been very much confirmed in my Power. I feel that what is in our inner~hearts is definitely there to be lived and expressed, and when we allow this out- Well, we are then met by this same quality! Magic.
How often do we dismiss what we have felt to be true because some external ‘authority’ has said otherwise? I love the example you provide in this statement alone: “Having let go of this as not being ‘it’ (No matter how much society tells us it is!)”. Wise for all of us to be applying such dedication to discernment in every area of our lives.
There are certain things we will give up and let go of, but are we willing to renounce the energy at play in our life? For if not, no matter what we choose, nothing will change or return to it’s true light.
Sometimes we get so used to one way of being – of eating or having relationships, that we do not consider that there is another way to be. To just be open to exploring something different, offers the opportunity for something more.
Yes it is easy to slip into comfortable patterns that kind of get us by but don’t really deliver the true settlement and quality of life we all actually crave and want. Love what you are saying here that simply being honest that what we are doing is not working really and being open to explore another way is a great first step to change.
The loving responsibility to know that we created our own situation and therefore have the power to return to all that we are allow us to let go of so many condition we have created in life which play out with other people however are also there within us and with God.
Yes indeed, the quality of energy we align to, ie love or not love, determines how we breathe, move, speak, interact etc. And so our day is entirely made up of these little choices to bring more love into the body, which then ripples out to the world around us.
Love the simplicity of this way of living – essentially eveything comes down to the same choice.
When we are truly honouring of and making movements that support ourselves we naturally only want to put foods which are nourishing into our bodies.
It is often the case that a female partner feels obliged to ‘perform’ and that can introduce a feeling of martyrdom which is not truly loving. Allowing the relationship to deepen during the day by how we speak with each other and everyone around us makes a difference to how we are in bed at night. Being loving can mean simply being together, with no pictures about what’s going to happen next. With no expectations there is never disappointment and no-one needs to feel rejected, but can appreciate the love that is offered and the love just builds…
It is amazing how important it is to say yes to one’s own love first, and how by deepening this life seems to unfold in the most miraculous ways. But the key is, as I am learning, is to never then stop this personal deepening journey of love for one-self, because there is no end, no final point, no nirvana or bliss. there is just always more and more.
Your blog shows the world that there is so much more to life than just satiating the surface levels of pleasure, which we know feel very empty and devoid of true substance but this does not stop us repeating the patterns, until now, when True Love is introduced into the arena and offers us all the opportunity to take life so much deeper.
Yes, and we can hold onto these addictions for so long, yet when we let go and renounce them, what we begin to find underneath (as has always been there) is more than 1000 fold greater!
“I began to Truly, make Love with myself; to hold myself in Love consistently so.” I just love this sentence and know from my own experience that the only way to evolve is to hold ourselves in love.
Yes~ and, Thus far I have only experienced it to be an ever-deepening, and expanding process
Pernilla – How deeply empowering and enriching to honour the quality of love now being held within your body and lived in your daily life by the new standard you have set to saying NO to anything less than this. A very inspiring blog.
“How this played out in scenarios out in the world included beginning to say ‘no’ to any outside advances that did not feel equal to the beholding, loving energy that I was now committed to consistently hold myself in. This period of time was very much a solidifying, re-bonding and re-parenting phase for me”.
Love should be in every aspect of life and living in Love is a quality that is food for thought. We are living with the Love of our essence, esoteric or inner-most and it does not discriminate but shared equally within us all, so it is our choice to reconnect to that Love and stay connected as a Loving-Livingness regardless of what aspect of life we are talking about.
“Renouncing Sex” – the more we connect to our bodies the more we care for them. This is natural. And the more we care for our bodies the more we care for other people too. What is cared-for is always valued and held in a level of love. When it’s not it’s easy to take the relief route of quick transaction aka “sex”.
We often can blame life getting in the way but it is of our own making that we allow the outside world to affect us. Blaming or placing the outside world before us in whatever way that suits is nothing but an excuse or justification to not evolve and live the love we are.
So true Caroline. Playing the victim is not our truth, we are so much more powerful than that.
No matter how good it feels, sex has always left me empty. It is not what is being done or not done, but whether there is a need in me that wants to be fulfilled and the exposing of it that no matter what it can never be filled.
The energy of sex and love are two opposing energies. So saying no to one is saying yes to the other.
It takes some doing to stand firm in choice to only accept True Love in our lives. We have invented many interesting distractions in life that fill the void where True Love should be. Awesome to out the false pursuits and re-instate your true worth and value, a powerful learning for us all.
“Somewhere deep inside me, I knew that I was Divine; A Child of God! As such, and confirmed through my own self-nurturing, I re-connected to a knowing that God does not want us to suffer nor endure anything less-than-this confirming quality that I now held myself in.” Forget everything else we learn in school first and foremost we need to know we are divine.
Renouncing sex and eating for vitality is a bold and courageous statement in a world where we had made almost everything about sex and food. How crazy it actually is that we have reduced life to so little and, as you rediscovered, where we are and have so much more.
The moment we make life about quality (energy) everything is re-evaluated in a way that was not available before from a merely temporal perspective – it is literally a different world we then experience and bring to our awareness although it always existed.
To name ‘sex’ as a substitute to true love means we can say yes to connection and the love that can be brought out from within us.
Raising and setting the standards of our relationship with ourselves and others .. I love it ✨ Truly inspiring.
‘I am embarking on a new level of renouncing and deepening with food…’ I like this because it is keeping me open to the learning I am doing around food at the moment and understanding that there is not a set of rules to apply but a respect for and responsiveness to my body that will guide me day by day.
Yes, it is our greatest responsibility to accept that we are a part of God, and walk with the authority of this in everyday life as a reminder to all of where we come from.
Thank you Pernilla it is deeply inspiring to feel your commitment to yourself and making honouring choices in every area of your life.
Great to question those things in life which are not working but also those which are or appear to be to feel whether underneath they are truly serving us or providing us with something else we need and keeping us from a deeper truth.
The moment of stepping into power and taking resposibility felt absolutely divine.
“What I do know is that it was never God who withheld a vibrant, joyful body from me. This has without a doubt been the cumulative result of the choices I have made in separation from this essence.”
It is not in the doing but in the being that our life is to be lived, it is the quality that we are being in that makes every action and act of love or not. The quality of love emanating from your face Pernilla is just gorgeous, thank you for choosing true love.
What I love in what you are sharing is that it is not the food or the relationship we have to avoid, cut out or make a ‘bad’ thing, because relationships can be deeply loving and food can be supportive and nourishing, but it is the quality that determines how they will be.
Some of the things that are considered to be the good or best things in life can turn out to be the very things that keep us from the really good stuff – our essence, who we truly are.
The quality of energy that we choose affects everything in our life, there is no getting away from that fact.
Agreed Elizabeth, no matter what we choose to eat, how we choose to live it all comes back to energy. And in fact it all starts from energy. Something that since coming to Universal Medicine I now understand and can make sense of, yet it was something I always felt as a kid.
Choose the energy we are/want to be in—and there is only love and not love. Then everything is very simple. We make the choice and we bear the consequences..
True resurrection of your power, grace and wisdom Pernilla, an example that shows us that it is down to us how we are treated by the outside world because it all firmly rests on how we treat our selves first from the inside out.
Yes, Pernilla. When we let ourselves feel the loneliness of being disconnected from our own inner knowing and loving nature, we can begin to restore this most important of relationships and express true love from our body.
The sense of freeness in the photo of this gorgeous woman is palpable; it emanates without anything: “I’ve got the love”. This is how it is in relationship.
“Having known for some time of the steps I could take to reduce inflammation within my body, and support it to truly heal… ‘life’ had gotten in the way… or had it? ” It is our own choice in the end and we make up so many excuses to not feel it is our choice to have a bit of misery and struggle in our life. Nothing but our choices changes how we perceive and feel in life.
Imagine if we could all make the same commitment to love and if it wasn’t a loving choice we wouldn’t make it whether to ourselves or another. There are people living this way more and more like yourself Pernilla and that is our future lets make it a reality in the present.
Pernilla I’m not sure that I have felt such resolute absoluteness before, it feels both commanding and inspiring.
A beautiful deeply loving article with much to offer us. I love the link you have made with sex and food and how you relate both to the quality of energy we allow around and into our bodies. Only when we begin to re-connect to our own inner divinity can we feel how precious we are and not ever want to invite in an energy not of the same quality. It makes perfect sense.
This is something I am still learning ‘This had always been there, on offer… Simply waiting for me to step up and claim it.’
I read this and get that you have a great sense of absoluteness. And that’s awesome – it’s not about being stubborn but being absolute about what you will, and more importantly, won’t accept or allow.
Yes~ Ab-Soul-utely Lol ?
What we won’t accept and allow leads to what we will accept and allow and what we will accept and allow leads to what we won’t accept and allow.
That´s a great example Jane! Because people often don´t get and feel the immediate responds of their body, they then separate the ill condition when it occurs to all the moments before when they actually didn´t listen to their body. To keep yourself numb to your bodies signal you have to keep going and going. No wonder the body then says at one point- ENOUGH with a disease. It is the human arrogant spirit, that just knows it can and disregard the soul the best as possible without an ounce of sympathy.
Everything in our life reflects the same topic we have to look at- no matter in what area, it will always make itself seen. That´s why you can never escape from what you need to work on, you can only delay the process of healing.
“Through the sobbing and wondering if I would ever be with a man again, I held myself and began to truly Support myself, I began to Truly have my own back.” Since I first read this blog, this line has stayed with me, as this is not something we generally do for ourselves. We can put so much energy into wanting someone else to take care of us, but at the end of the day, the only person who can truly take care of us is ourselves.
‘…one-by-one, each step with God by my side…’ – it is the steps we have taken without God, i.e.not in rhythm and harmony with the flow and order of the universe that have created all ills and suffering hence the answer is simple, walk with God and you are at one with the all that makes you who you are.
‘If it wasn’t based on True Love – I wasn’t doing it. Period.’ An amazing journey and sharing on true love and your everyday life and choices to support who you truly are. Inspirational.
It’s very supportive to read this Pernilla, no matter what we think we aren’t making loving choices on our own.
This blog makes me stop and wonder.. why is it that we give up on connecting to the depth and richness that’s inside us all, and instead look for something outside of us to compensate for it? We have within us a connection to a stillness, beauty and wisdom so vast and expansive, that nothing ‘out there’ can compare to. Yet we have set our world up so that it’s not so apparent, not so easily felt unless we are still, and so we dismiss it, and continue to make choices to walk further away from it. When we stop, and say no to anything that shuts us off it numbs us to this connection, we allow the space to remember and feel on a bodily level that it is always, already there and waiting for us to surrender to. Nothing that we have to ‘do’, just a letting go to feel everything that we already are.
‘If it wasn’t based on true love, I wasn’t doing it -period.’ This absoluteness is inspiring. What’s beautiful is that it came from a place of love and understanding, having realised that behind all your choices was the want to deeply connect and that taking those steps alongside God is what had been missing.
I love this, Pernilla – ‘I had to surrender, to God’s plan instead of mine…’. When there are no pictures or ideals about how life needs to be, we open up to the grander design of what is needed for our evolution.
On renouncing the transaction of sex – whenever we renounce something we make space for something else. And whenever we have space, we find the loving union of ease.
I love the line where you refer what is going on as a re-bonding or re-parenting phase for we can do this at any time about what ever is not true in our lives which we do truly want to change.
Absolutely~ there are soo many lies out there
With this reference to sex – “I could no longer deny that something usually felt missing afterwards” – I know I have felt this as well and often looked for a cigarette afterwards to ‘fill me up’. It never worked.
It really doesn’t does it !
One of the nice things with a true renunciation is that it is effortless. There is an initial effort to identify what is not acceptable anymore and to state that I don’t want it anymore and then a further effort in becoming more and more aware of the reasons why I made that choice in the past. Eventually all those reasons have been identified (which can take seconds or years or anything in-between) and the renunciation feels easier than the previous permanent conflicts that came from doing things that don’t truly work for us.
It is also quite possible to renounce sex but to embrace making love as the latter is harmonious and nourishing and there is a definite difference between the two.
Oh Absolutely ! (I am not cellibate 😉 )
God doesn’t ‘want’ anything for us. He knows that we are Him.
When it seems that much of humanity is renouncing vitality on account of mis information and lies about what is truly healthy for our bodies, it is a gorgeous breath of fresh air to read of your commitment to deepening your standards to ones that deeply support the woman you are Pernilla.
I agree Doug.
Absolutely agree Gill 🙂
Everything in the way we live is about stimulation or surrender to our soul’s light.
Surrendering to God’s plan instead of mine used to be considered a sacrifice. Yet, if you truly build a relationship with your body and with your inner communication with God, then you find the surrender an honour not a sacrifice.
I Love that 🙂
Food and sex are such fundamental activities that we rarely stop to really consider the quality of how we engage with either. It is very inspirational to read how both were put under the microscope once you re-introduced true Love into your life again and both had to undergo a quality assurance test before resuming any kind of re-engagement. Awesome!
You can never ignore the feeling when you have sex and how you feel afterwards. I always felt alone robbed of something. When I got to a point where I didn’t want it to be about this anymore and said no to it I could feel how much respect and honouring of myself had ignited.
Yeah, Awesome Natalie~ And what this brings up for me (or, rather, reminds me of) is that We really Do set the standard (or bar) for how others treat us!
‘Having let go of this as not being ‘it’ (No matter how much society tells us it is!), I went through a period of grief…’
So much about the world, the way we live and what we are led to believe, is true is ‘not it’. This can be a shocker, especially when we have been deeply invested in the pictures created. Letting these investments and pictures go can be painful, but rediscovering the truth is way more joyful than getting rid of something false.
Thank you for sharing so honestly how you have committed to saying No to anything that sabotages your connection with you and how you are doing this one choice at a time. Renouncing something used to sound so final to me but what I am understanding from my journey with this is that whenever I choose to give up my connection with myself then the doubts and thoughts come in so that it is always in my power to make my next choice loving and supportive both with food and relationships.
We can be surrounded by people, but feel desperately lonely unless we have that intimate relationship with ourselves as a foundational aspect of our everyday lives.
Lowering your standards and accept things you wouldn’t accept from yourself or another just to be in a relationship doesn’t work. By doing so you don’t bring your all and your partner misses the real you.
Pernilla, I love how you apply the science of energy to every aspect of living and life: in the observance of quality we know ourselves, and the world.
Inspiring to feel the joy and lightness that this is written with and it turns the tables on the ideas of where we usually get our fulfilment for, usually it is in the superficial stimulation, that is flat and is not sustaining, but what you describe feels like a something that is steady and consistent.
Yes
Hear, hear Pernilla indeed, God is always by our side. Sometimes we can feel this very strongly when we are connected to our soul and sometimes we doubt He even exists. Whatever we may think or do, God is always beside us lovingly holding us for evermore.
It is so beautiful to develop self love to a point where we can say No to anything that does not honour our body.
Mmm makes me ponder how we dont need to wait for love, no permission to seek or something that is ordained to us, it is our nature to live and is waiting for us to claim.
Beautiful quote on Love jennym, Love is: “our nature to live and is waiting for us to claim”. Everyone is that same love.
There are markers in our body and in our life that let us know constantly the quality of choice we are making. Sometimes we want to know and sometimes we don’t. What you have shared with so much honesty and transparency Pernilla is the confirmation that by looking deeper no matter whatever the distraction is will bring us to a deeper knowing of the love we are and the Divinity we are from – knowing this how can we hold our selves in less or accept less from others.
Very inspirational blog Pernilla in which you are showing all women what is possible if they do not compromise their standards to be in a relationship, which many of us do, we often place our need for a relationship before our truth.
So true Mary-Louise and this means we are missing out on what a loving and true relationship is. If we ever settle for anything less than love, we are doing ourselves and each other a disservice and stunting our evolution.
True and I like the line about holding ourselves in a a beholding energy and not allowing our standards to slip when it comes to what we accept from ourselves or others. This is inspiring to feel this quality in a woman, making life about Love first.
Yes~ Time and time again. Until no more.
Without building the relationship inside, we are constantly going to be hunting around for something else to fill the void, and there are innumerable avenues we can get lost down… food, sex, work (a personal favourite), distractions galore.
Yes, those avenues often feel more like rabbit holes.
God never withholds his love, appreciation, magic and total acceptance from us, so our learning is to make choices that enable us to connect to our divinity not diminish it and deeply cherish our selves, one another and God in the process.
Love what you share here Rowena
Beautifully said, Rowena. If we do not feel the constant showering of God’s love we simply need to ask ourselves where we have chosen to step away from it.
Wow, this is incredibly inspiring. Not using anything to substitute true love.
We are true love, true love is who we all are.
Pernilla you are such a natural writer so easy to read, I love your honesty and for taking us there with you on your personal journey. Very refreshing and inspiring. When I read this I felt a stillness within me ‘I had to surrender, to God’s plan instead of mine…’ And yes you definitely do need to write another blog on that list … and another one after that and another and then another or maybe just jump straight in and write for magazines (maybe you already do?)
Thank you Vicky~ very confirming!
Thank you Pernila, it is always great to hear such rich experience of someone new and how much we can learn from each development in life that truly supports one and another to be true to themselves and the plan of God. What does God have instore for you ?
When we decide to get super honest with ourselves, it is amazing the support that is on offer.
Agreed Sarah it is like everything we could ever need opens up for us and we are deeply taken care of, but it comes as a result of our honesty and love for ourselves.
Thank you for writing with so much passion about your sensitive journey back to loving yourself again.
” I am embarking on a new level of renouncing and deepening with food also. Saying ‘No’ to any food that does not completely honour and support my body to remain in complete, Loving union with my Soul” What a glorious blog and the statement well its certainly made me stop and reflect on the food I eat, when and how much.
Very empowering when we no longer are waiting but realize that it is up to us to bring love into our life, and because love is innately within and so is God we are not dependent on anyone or anything outside to activate it. And when we do we experience that people who appreciate the same quality are drawn to us and life becomes richer and richer.
What the majority loves to do is something I love to reflect on and question its true value. Having Sex is a great example. Whatever gets glorified in that way is a clue for me that it is not really evolving. Mankind loves excitement, superficiality, comfort to name a few. True evolving ways to live and deepen intimacy with oneself get rejected very fast, as it takes away the security of comfort.
Even though we feel that there is security in comfort, the truth is comfort is actually a very treacherous position to be in.
This statement is so true and worth repeating ‘But, what I do know is that it was never God who withheld a vibrant, joyful body from me’. How many of us blame outside factors for not living a vibrant life?
Yes~ Indeed Julie
Renouncing anything that does not support the connection to ourselves is worth it… saying yes to being more and living more brings more.
It’s important to have the highest integrity in deciding what we eat, do and allow to enter our body, which is precious.
I agree with you Susie, this is indeed very precious because our bodies are very precious and not only that what we eat and the quality in how we move and express affects our health, how we feel and the people around us. It also has an impact on our journey of evolution and it affects everyone else as well and this highlights that we are all deeply connected to each other.
I love your honesty of clocking that sex no longer felt enough, and how when you hit the grief of letting go of something that felt like a band-aid, despite of much in the outside world geeing you up to get back in there, you chose to stay with you and instead deepening your own ability to truly love and support yourself. A great example for responding in every aspect of life.
‘Saying ‘No’ to any food that does not completely honour and support my body to remain in complete, Loving union with my Soul.’ is saying yes to your divine essence to live more and more love on earth.
This is gold “I knew innately of my worth and Divinity but, based on what I had thus far experienced (and, for the most part witnessed within my own life) I was not entirely convinced that God had an intimate, Loving relationship of the Level I was asking for in store for me! I had to surrender, to God’s plan instead of mine…” By simple giving permission and speaking from the heart we will be bestowed upon God’s kingdom.
Awesomely claimed Pernilla. We use so many things to no t feel our connection and certainly not feel our power, so its great to read that no are no longer compromising.
This is a great blog to read and my attention was caught by the words written
“I had to surrender, to God’s plan instead of mine…”
I feel this is a problem many of us have which is to surrender to God’s plan which may not be anything like the pictures, ideals and beliefs we have stored in our mind.
Thank you, Pernilla. Super simple and super clear… every step/breath/choice at a time… in God’s arms or keeping him at arm’s length?
Yes~ I love that ‘in Gods arms’ Or ‘keeping him at arms length!’ ?
Saying NO to anything that does not honour us and our bodies is a powerful claiming of our sacredness as a woman, and the same is true for men who are open to feeling how tender and gorgeous they truly are.
We can’t hold ourselves in Love by thinking in our head, but by connecting to our body, it’s a feeling we maintain. It’s our cells that know the truth not the beliefs and rules we entertain.
Many would say that you must be crazy to renounce sex or food indulgence but what could be more gorgeous and amazing than surrendering to living more love in your life?
When you put it like that it makes more sense to love our connection to the universe than our desires.
Pernilla, this is really beautiful to read; ‘I deepened and developed my ability to hold myself tenderly…’
I can totally relate to that – it is like being best friends and you just love to spend time with your best friend- your body. It is the most loyal and loving friend you can imagine.
I agree Rebecca, it’s exquisite isn’t it.
‘ And I re-discovered, through my commitment to Self, that it was never-ever God who had withheld anything from me” and so it is, God is offering us all we could ever dream of and more, it’s right in front of us and so if we do not have this we are saying no to this. It shows how divine and all-powerful we are in the creation of our own reality.
Beautiful Pernilla, a great example of what responsibility is truly about.
“I had to surrender, to God’s plan instead of mine…”
Self love is the doorway through which we can clock and relinquish our attachment and identity with struggle and drive. Unearthing the purity of homeo stasis is to embody the light of God.
Its great when we can drop our agenda and start to feel that maybe there is something bigger going on that we can be a part of. It means rather than having the complicated web of 7 billion separate stories, there is actually just the one that we are all a part of.
“How this played out in scenarios out in the world included beginning to say ‘no’ to any outside advances that did not feel equal to the beholding, loving energy that I was now committed to consistently hold myself in” – thank you for the simplicity Pernilla in explaining what ‘holding one’s love’ and self-love actually is and means. To hold your love = to accept nothing less than what you know is being held. Anything less falls into the realms of abuse.
This take on renunciation is beautiful: it is an energetic choice we’re making that says yes to love and divinity and no to self harm and degradation.
Sex is just a giving or receiving an outside stimulation. Where making love is always a joining of two into one!
It is amazing what the universe can provide when we start making true decisions and not compromising ourselves.
This simple act of saying ‘Yes’ to love – how complicated we make it to be, and say ‘That is not available/possible for this little old me’ – but considering the truth that we are love to begin with, that is just as good as us giving God two fingers.
Yes~ Absolutely True, I am re learning this or should I say remembering ?
Yes~ Absolutely
Absolutely~ Prescription rates of anti depressants out there, would suggest we are not an overall joyous bunch here on earth ?
True.
Haha
Renouncing sex is not a shock it is natural in the path back to making love. What is shocking is only if this is done with a goal in mind rather than the natural return towards soul.
Very inspiring to everyone who reads your story, so many of us are either in the same situation or have made similar changes to our lives, after heaps of support from universal medicine, thank you for showing that what is most important is love – true love.
We are so much more than most of us consciously realise or appreciate. Coming from a connection of love our choices can be very different and more encompassing of how we affect others.
Absoulutely
So true Aimee, the starting point of love = the starting point of deeper love. Because love has no finish or end in its eternal expansion.
‘with God by my side’ we can making loving changes. I have a body that isn’t vital because I haven’t made loving choices but that is never too late to do so and ‘with God by my side’ I can be with those unloving choices with grace.
Divine will makes us walk back and on track of the path of love.
Yes~ Agree in Full Karin
Beautiful Karin, and yes God is always by our side, even when we forget about it, never judging but always beholding.
Such an empowering insight that “that it was never-ever God who had withheld anything from me” and that it was always “simply waiting for me to step up and claim it”. How frequently in life we consider ourself not worthy, or just wait for someone to hand something to us, while the key to everything we have ever longed for is within us.
Yes, Golnaz, makes me wonder ‘What’s next’ ?
Thank you Pernilla for exposing the relationship between sex and food, and that it essentially relates to the vibration we are choosing to align to. If we are absolutely honest about how we feel after having sex, we would clock how it actually gives or offers us nothing as the emptiness remains, and we are left feeling dirty due to the energy we have invited to move through us, is everything that is not of the divinity that we are. And what about food, how do we feel after we eat? There is no comparison to power of the full embrace of our love and the fulfilment and enrichment it offers for us to live and grow with, whilst reflecting to others that is who we all in essence are.
Absoulutely Yes~ empty is very much the word I would use too & you are right.. NOTHING compares to Our Divinity ~so how would it be if we simply surrender to that Truth ? Have we Not spent long enough looking outside ?
Yes, Carola, if we are honest with ourselves we know each time we are dishonouring our sacredness, and if we let ourselves really feel the emptiness of it we will make the choice never to let it happen again. In the manner we are constantly offered the opportunity to evolve, and return to our true nature which is nothing less than divine.
Being in love when we eat means we cannot then pretend our bodies do not show us absolutely whether we eat in response to what is truly needed or because of what we want.
I loved reading your blog Pernilla: “I know my way back is through my choices, one-by-one, each step with God.” Food and sex, both can be used for filling our emptiness deep inside. But now you’re choosing to make love instead, which feeds you and your partner’s souls and expands your hearts. This is clearly more satisfying than a quick fix and flurry of excitement and relief. Yes the quality you bring to each other is what counts and deepens, never ending.
Yes~ A Lovely confirmation of Ourselves & Each other, rather than a taking from one another xX
When two bodies meet, they have sex.
When two souls meet, they make love.
When soul meets body and body meets soul, there is beholding, surrender and unending livingness.
❤️
Wow Liane I love that very much – in the end the whole world could make love instead of sex – wonderful expectations!
Love it.
… And, when the two combine it is a very tangible example of the Soul’s love experienced in our physical 3-dimensional life.
Pernilla, I love this article, it is really inspiring that you have built a loving relationship with yourself and that you will not accept less than love from others.
Thank You.
Sometimes we have to say no to receive what is next – and this is a beautiful example of the power in claiming our worth and in effect saying yes to love.
It is huge to know the difference between sex (stimulation) and love (claiming our worth) and to actually say no to the stimulations of life.
HM to say no to the stimulation’s of life is a huge step to getting off the roller coaster of up and downs and as you say ‘claiming our worth’ and honouring all we are.
Yes HM~ I definitely had some crossed wires there for a while, but now know what supports me to remain in connection with the stillness of my inner essence (read: connection with God/Soul) and what does not.
There are many moments offered to us where we are given the choice to renounce something, or not. When we do choose to say ‘No’ to whatever it is, food, sex, smoking etc, and choose to love and cherish ourselves instead, the payback is a hundred fold.
Yes~ and yet I can immediately feel that there is more to renounce and deepen after each time!
Beautiful how you described you lived with yourself the quality you want to be held in by a partner and then no other quality matches that of course. And then from one area you can apply this to another area in your life.
Thank You ☺️
If there is any doubt of our Divine essence then self-love, self care and self-nurturing are the way back to knowing our true nature.
Soo True.
Pernilla your commitment to God is inspiring, as is the absoluteness of your dedication to choosing only those choices that support you to maintain your connection with your soul.
Awesome, yes
Yes, there is a willingness to build a relationship and that is the first step to Truth, Love and therefore God.
Pernilla Horne, strong, powerful, eloquent and divine.
Thank you ?
Love the honesty you offer here Pernilla – a deeply inspiring blog and reminder to be saying yes to love and no to anything less.
It’s not possible to say ‘yes’ to something without simultaneously saying ‘no’ to something else.
Love the honesty you offer here Pernilla – a deeply inspiring blog and reminder to be saying yes to love and no to anything less.
Thank you Stephanie
This blog feels very relative at the moment, especially “God does not want us to suffer nor endure anything less-than-this confirming quality that I now held myself in.” Making that commitment to hold only that confirming quality is something I am currently exploring because holding myself to the guidance of the mind is pants compared to the love within.
Haha, Great!
Food and sex are both ways of distracting us from our Soul so I am also on the band-wagon of returning to True-Love and the sacredness and intimacy that are all packaged together.
Yes~ You Are Greg, it’s a pleasure to share the ride with you ! ?
I too have enjoyed making a choice to go for energetic quality and am often surprised and just what I can and can’t do and none of it is austere. In my experience God is very practical and a lot of fun!
Yes~ thanks for the reminder ?
I love the photo, it feels so gorgeous and so appropriate to the title of he blog. Here is a woman who knows, who is cheeky and sexy and willing to adhere to her own wisdom. Appreciation to both Matt Paul and Pernilla Horne and whomever chose the photo.
? Thank You Elaine !
The renunciation to whatever keeps us craving in the outside something to fulfill us, is what allows us to re-connect with that inner space where resides everything we need.
You have so beautifully shared that when we take the time to fall in love with ourselves we naturally begin to fall in love with others, some simply as friends, and in your case with someone who has chosen to live as you choose to live. There is so much magic in life when we make the choice to be and live who we truly are.
Beautifully expressed Ingrid. The magic in life is accessible to us all and when we open up to the love that is within us, we are able to share this with the world and everyone we meet.
Yes~ although I sometimes have to almost pinch myself with all the magic abounding in my life right now (as a direct result of loving choices!) I also know, that this is just the beginning glimpses of true love beginning to be expressed here on earth ! (There is work/play to be done!)
There is a comfort in seeking stimulation as it offers us a sense of realness in the physical senses that justifies our saying yes to our individual yearnings and desires. Without stimulation our individual desires feel empty and loveless. Yet love has no stimulation and why would it need to have when it is not based on individuality but brotherhood and oneness.
Absoulutely Josh- Love needs no stimulation, for it is already everything
Life is really a series of “Yes’s”, learning to accept love and nothing less for ourselves as a way of life.
A huge YES from me Melinda. Also, I can see that our standards in life have dropped way below what has been offered to us by God. So, why would we choose to live less when so much more has been offered to us?
I love that Chan, yes~ We certainly have dropped our standards.. Here’s to raising them again
This is a great example of how we can review and evaluate our relationship to different things in our lives and learn from one area, maximising what we can learn and transform in another.
Awesome
As you say, Pernilla, quality is everything…how we hold ourselves in honouring and love, how we move, speak, eat etc. We can eat the same food but how we eat it determines whether we feel dulled and bloated or nourished and supported to be more.
We are all the living quality of God, working around the clock to not be.
I love the compassion with yourself that you share in this blog Pernilla. We can be super hard and demanding of ourselves and it feels really important that we allow ourselves the space to really hold ourselves in this way.
Very cool and very inspiring Pernilla and very honest in the grief you felt and letting go of the sex bandaid. I am inspired by your commitment and absoluteness in wanting to stay connected to your soul and therefore love at all costs.
Thank You Vanessa
I love how you share so simply that everything we have in life is the end result of choices, so if we do not like it this is in essence our responsibility and no one else is to blame.
This is a super interesting blog for it shows just how addicted we all are to things that distract us or stimulate us or even seem like they are similar to what we want in life but not quite it…and that perhaps the reason we do these things over and over even though we can sense they are not good for us, is because they help us medicate the emptiness and loneliness within that we deny is there. So then the key to breaking any pattern or addiction is not denying ourselves or using pure will-power for we will feel even more miserable! It can only be done through deepening that connection with the love we all have inside as is clearly and beautifully presented in this blog.
Well said Andrew. We are addicted to the energetic vibration on offer via the food or act we ingest that keeps us living in separation from the immense love that we are.
“I had to surrender, to God’s plan instead of mine” When we do this we discover true purpose.
Letting go of control and the individual that wants something in return is an important step on our way back to who we truly are that can be quite challenging. Purpose is a huge support and allows us to feel how effortless life can be.
I love the part you highlighted Jonathan reminding us that we have a choice to align to a greater plan, God’s plan or to our own plan which only leads to misery and disharmony. When we embrace purpose we evolve ourselves as well as humanity and it is a way of living heaven on earth as we are moved by God’s light.
A beautiful blog Pernilla. ” is it possible that we are actually constantly tempted by the outside world to choose from its wide array of options, anything, so long as it does not lead us back to US?” The constant choice of distractions and stimulation on offer from the outside world – creation – has prevented me from feeling what is truly going on. When we stop and allow ourselves some stillness we can see and feel more clearly what direction we need to take – and that for me is inwards.
It is in the quality of our relationship with everything that brings an awareness of the quality of love that we live with ourselves.
Many times it has felt like a battle with the outside world constantly tempting me to take me off track but it has only felt like a battle because I made it so. I have come to realise that life is not a fight between me and the outside world and neither is life hard or a struggle. I am learning the art of not being affected by the outside world is holding the connection to my essence through developing and building a way of living that supports me and my body.
I am with you here Caroline – the battle with the outside temptations/distractions is of our own choosing in delaying our return to living the love we are in full. Returning to this true love is only possible through the deeper re-connection with the stillness within and having more awareness of body
“I am learning the art of not being affected by the outside world is holding the connection to my essence through developing and building a way of living that supports me and my body.”
“So, I said no to Sex. I renounced ‘sex’ as a substitute for True Love And True Connection!” – absolutely inspiring Pernilla, why have the transactional sex when you can have true making of love; there is no contest and when there is no contest, there is no compromise.
Absolutely Zofia ❤️
How easy it can be for self doubt and compromise to enter our being. Without realising and because of need we can lower the quality of our worth seeking something outside of ourselves unaligned to who we are. This blog made me sit up and feel the insiduous way we are led astray and the importance of choosing energetic quality first. ” I re-connected to a knowing that God does not want us to suffer nor endure anything less-than-this confirming quality that I now held myself in”. Thank you.
I think we all, whether we know it yet or not are tired of the counterfeit way we live and are seeking in someway true love with ourselves, God and others and the only way to get there is looking at all parts of our lives as you have done here Pernilla and do everything from love and true soul-full energy.
Renunciation is often painted as a hardship and difficult to do. The way you write about it we learn it can be so much more. How can we deprive ourselves when we choose gold instead of base metal, founded on deep self love and not settling for less.
So true Kehinde, for when we renounce something we are also choosing something else instead, something far more enhancing.
Blaming God is a lame excuse for not taking responsibility for ourselves. There is never ever any doubt that God is supporting me in every moment; it is a question of whether I choose to surrender to my essence and therefore to God or whether I choose to live in a way that comes from self and seeing myself as an individual not connected to the all.
Nothing can ever replace the deliciousness of us. We can live off things that ‘take away’ pain, and go through life half hearted – but nothing can substitute connecting and holding ourselves, with Love.
After a life living to your own plan instead of to God’s plan you can doubt yourself if living in a true and vital body is actually possible because your experience will be that your body is suffering from all the choices up to this point in time.
We ultimately all have to surrender to the plan of God, and thereafter we will be taken care of and can stop the doubting, the wondering around between all the options that otherwise would be available as being our so called choices in life.
I appreciate the parallel you draw between sex and food; it applies to smoking also, well documented in the movies of old where people lit up after getting hot and bothered between the sheets (thank you Roberta for this quote, I love it). Nothing fills the emptiness from the outside in; the true movement is from the inside out, always and forever.
It takes a deep relationship with ourselves to go through the process of testing and choose what works and what doesn’t. No one can just hear someone say this and that and restrain. So there is nothing wrong with sex or food per se, as all choices in life are bringing us to our own understanding of how we choose is affecting us and whether we want to choose again. It is the energy that we fuel our choices with. The deep relationship and honesty we have with ourselves is super crucial as you have shared, as how does sex really leave us feeling? No matter how good it is it always feels empty—nah not worth it. Same with food. The deepening of worth in our lives changes our choices and naturally so. How much to appreciate the reflections lived of self-love for the world, thank you.