Discovering tattoos at the age of 17… a time when being tattooed placed me in the minority but would soon become a major fashion trend…
Simply wanting a tattoo because I liked the look of them: why, I did not know, nor did I ever bother to stop and question this need at that time.
Over time, I have observed that tattoos have almost become a common ‘fashion accessory’ – a trend, something everyone ‘must have’. Today, they’ve gained wide-reaching acceptance with a broad spectrum of people now being tattooed: musicians, actors, sportspeople, mothers, fathers and grandparents all are succumbing to the latest fad.
And as they have become so prevalent and socially accepted, no longer are you asked why you have a tattoo but why you do not. Also, they’re bigger than ever now – not just a little star, a butterfly, a unicorn or bluebird anymore – they’re now large enough to cover almost an entire limb or the whole back.
The Addictive Nature of Tattoos
Once tattooed, I found there was a need for another, then another, each one bigger and bolder than the last, as if the tattoos themselves were an addiction. For they had become so for me, in the sense that once I had a taste for them, I couldn’t seem to stop myself from getting more.
Looking back I can see that this addiction to tattoos was very similar to other addictions I used to keep me numbed to feeling what really was going on, and from how I was truly feeling; things such as alcohol, marijuana, shopping or over-working.
What is it that makes tattoos so addictive?
I’m not the only one of course – many have taken tattoos to an extreme. But what is so appealing about tattoos that we do not question them and have allowed them to become so prevalent?
I know that I never stopped to consider why I would do that to my body, even when asked by my parents. Great question, but something I had no answer for at the time. It was only after I had made many other changes in my life that I began to ponder.
Was it possible that tattoos fooled me into believing that I accepted myself? Or did they allow me to focus on something else on my body – rather than on my body itself?
I used to think my tattoos beautified my body; that my body was not beautiful enough without something else. Clothes, shoes and accessories were one thing, but once they were gone, my body remained, raw, uncovered and exposed – a body not accepted, a body always needing ‘to be improved upon’, to fit the unrealistic picture the media constantly presents to us. I see now that I was using tattoos as a way to hide my body and myself, and as a form of protection.
I eventually realised this protection did not work
No matter how many tattoos I had, once the thrill and excitement of my new tattoo wore off, I was left with the same old feeling of worthlessness, a lack of respect for and acceptance of myself.
Attending workshops and presentations with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I began to discover that there was so much more to my tattoos and my life than I was allowing myself to feel. I was able to accept more and more of me as I am, and that I am so much more than my tattoos.
The need to hide behind something or someone was falling away. I realised it was ok for me to just be me, and that the only person that needed to accept me, was me.
It took a little more time to break down the ideals and beliefs I’d ‘picked up’ and held on to around not being enough; to realise that I am not the clothes I wear nor the hairstyle I have – to know that I am what is within – and it is that beauty within that is now able to shine, without the need for any form of fashion accessory or tattoo.
By making choices in my life that are supportive and loving, allowing me to feel who I am without the façade, I have been able to end my addiction to tattoos and see my body and myself for who I truly am, the amazing, delicate woman I have always been and shall continue to blossom to be.
The Next Step: Tattoo Removal
Now I am choosing to go through the procedure of having my tattoos removed in a loving, supportive process with Dr Anne Malatt.
Part of my development has been about reclaiming myself and living the naturally beautiful woman I am. The laser tattoo removal process is just another part of this development, along with other changes I made and am still making in my life.
Each removal session supports me to feel more of me. Now I am able to look at myself in the mirror and see and feel me and the body I am in – not the tattoos I chose to hide behind.
Through the presentations and support of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon I have been able to look at all areas of my life, making loving choices that support me and my body. My journey from tattoos to tattoo removal, from addiction to self-acceptance is an extension of that life now lived. I accept and appreciate the body I have, no matter how it may look, and know that I could never become addicted to tattoos again.
By Nicole Serafin, Tintenbar, Australia
Related Reading:
Is True Beauty Really In The Eye Of The Beholder?
The Man Beneath the Tattoos and Dreads
My Tattoo Removal & The Power of Stillness
When you see someone with tattoos that seems to be what we see first the tattoos not the person and maybe that’s why they sub consciously have them so the person isn’t seen and can hide behind them.
I am glad that I didn’t get more than one tattoo, however I did feel that pull to get more and more of them. Had I gone down that path I no doubt would of gotten more tattoos, I would agree in saying they are addictive. But as with any addiction there is a missing of true connection. When connection to our essence returns, then the need for the outer thing/behaviour/etc. is less relied upon if not, eventually, completely discarded.
What you are saying about our essence Leigh is very interesting , I have never felt the desire for a tattoo but I do have other addictions which are slowly melting away like the early morning mist on a summers day. I agree with you that when we reconnect back to ourselves and accept ourselves and our true essence the propensity to harm ourselves with additions melts away, because a desire to truly take care of one self takes over and any abusive behaviour just cannot be maintained.
Could it be that we are so sensitive we will go to any lengths to protect our sensitivity so that we do not feel so raw and exposed in a society that goes out of its way to crush the delicateness we all naturally are.
We have such beautiful skin, old or young rough or smooth everyone skin has the opportunity to let heaven shine though. No need for tattoos when we know our own worth.
When you consider that everything in life is either impulsed by an energy that is looking to stall us in our return to truth or cement us in the truth that we already are, it’s easy to see that tattoos are impulsed by the type of energy that would rather we didn’t know the truth of who we all are.
Great to remove from our body anything that hides or tries to improve the inner beauty we already are. With our choice of lovingly being who we are as we are, we recover the connection with this beauty and then, it can be revealed in our body.
How exquisite is the human body just as it is. No need to adorn it with anything, it’s truly beautiful just as it is.
Thank you for sharing your appreciation for your body through the tattoo removal process and how you have released yourself from your tattoo addiction and embraced the beautiful woman that you are. It is shocking how many are getting caught in the glamour of having tattoos without considering the costly consequences in time, money and pain.
To be able to give ourselves the space to look at why we get something done in the first place or have an addiction is very cool to do.
“I am so much more than my tattoos”. Reconnecting to our inner beauty reveals the false glamour of tattoos on the skin.
How the world is set up currently there are literally millions of things that we can choose to hide our true selves behind, ultimately it will always be our choice to shine or not.
Nicole thank you for your honesty bringing greater insight and understanding to why people choose tattoos and the addictive nature that they are and the consequences thereafter.
I could never succumb to having a tattoo …just the thought of ink poisoning my body and the pain that I would have to endure going through the process of getting it done, and the expense of it all.
Understanding the energy we are addicted to has created such a shift in many if not all the Students of The Livingness and to understand that everything is because of energy has played a huge role in undoing past patterns, which would have continued to lead us down the path of self degradation of our bodies as is happening to so many others.
I had my tattoo fully removed a few years ago (it took about 2 years for a 3 x 2” tattoo to be lasered off) and even though I can see the scar (there’s a ghost tattoo where the skin is ever so slightly raised where the ink used to be) I no longer feel that I am hiding behind it nor does it hold anything over me.
Tattoos are everywhere. Understanding tattoos as an addiction it becomes obvious how many people are attracted to addictive behaviour.
‘…once the thrill and excitement of my new tattoo wore off, I was left with the same old feeling of worthlessness, a lack of respect for and acceptance of myself.’ Whatever it is in my life that I think will fix it (could be new partner, new house, new job etc) nothing ever changes if I don’t address my lack of love for myself.
Thank you for bringing more understanding to why some people choose to get tattoos, ‘No matter how many tattoos I had, once the thrill and excitement of my new tattoo wore off, I was left with the same old feeling of worthlessness, a lack of respect for and acceptance of myself.’
The thing about tattoos is that we think they make us unique – our own individual mark on ourselves – but what if we are actually already incredibly unique and we already have something to bring that no one else can bring?
Meg, I love this comment. Why not begin to look at what makes us unique and really appreciate that ? Why not express to each other the awesome uniqueness that we feel in each other and appreciate each other for who we are and the qualities that we express?
Self acceptance its a big one isn’t it .. but it shouldn’t be! My question would also be where (what energy) doe this sudden trend of having tattoos come from. When we truly understand more about energy as taught and presented by Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon things like this become clearer. Along with the saying for many women used to be ‘does my bum look big in this?’ to now women wanting bottom implants so their bottoms do look big? Where has that sudden change come from? You could say from people like Kim Kardashian but again it is an energy running though Kim to make everything about looks and being superficial that does not truly support other women. I read another story last week of another young women actually dying because a buttock implant went wrong. So yes self acceptance is really important.
Having spoken with some very beautiful looking women about their tattoos, the common factor was the tattoos would some how make them better or more attractive and for some their partners found them more sexy or alluring with the tattoo snaking down their torso. The start of an addictive cycle – one tattoo always leading to another and possibly many more.
Women’s self respect and dignity is getting swallowed up under the need to conform to what is ‘in vogue’ in society.
Interesting that some feel tattoos make themselves look more attractive, I personally find they take away from the persons attractiveness.
Getting tattoos is a bit like drinking alcohol we boast to each other how many or how much we have had, knowing deep down that it is self abusive but proudly displaying how we can do this to ourselves and pretending we don’t care, perversely declaring how strong and tough we are, how resilient. It feels to me there is an element of self protection and glorification here that maybe real but has no truth in it whatsoever.
When I think of how mad health and safety has become these days where you have risk assessments for everything I find it fascinating we don’t seem to have the anywhere near the same safeguards for tattoos, so many people have them then hate them after and have to spend many years saving up to have it removed. I know boys who have been tattooed whist completely drunk as there ‘friends’ got it done for them and they wake up remembering nothing. Surely all this is wrong?
It sure feels like tattoos mask the truth we are avoiding to feel; that we do not accept the power of our innate exquisiteness, the power of our Soul and how our bodies naturally reflect this beauty when we surrender to it. In not appreciating how divine our connection to our essence feels we are at a loss and in need to seek protection, recognition, attention or acceptance from external sources to feel some sense, even if it is false and momentary, of belonging or relief from the tension. Loving the skin we are in, and honouring the ‘being’ within the skin is the greatest fashion statement we can ever make, one that is always truly ahead of time and full of heart and Soul. Nothing beats being ourselves.
What an amazing healing received from addressing the addictive nature of the tattoos and exposing the root cause of an old belief of not being enough, to knowing you are always enough by simply being you.
“to realise that I am not the clothes I wear nor the hairstyle I have – to know that I am what is within – and it is that beauty within that is now able to shine, without the need for any form of fashion accessory or tattoo”.
What an interesting and inspiring blog Nicole. I had no idea that tattoos could be addictive – having read your story it is great to understand that underneath the tattoo is an emotional roller coster of feeling lesser in some way or another.
“No matter how many tattoos I had, once the thrill and excitement of my new tattoo wore off, I was left with the same old feeling of worthlessness, a lack of respect for and acceptance of myself”.
There was a time, when to have a tattoo meant something, it was a significant emblem to have on one’s body. And what ever your views on tattoos may be, they do have a tradition that is not rooted in fashion, but rather in spirituality. Which is interesting as now today tattoos are very much about fashion, and yet could it be that their spiritual past still remains? Could it be that the human spirit is searching for something and, as we do not generally have the soul on display living in role models all across the world in vast numbers, what the spirit finds when it seeks is a doorway that leads to ever more and extreme ways to be more spiritual rather than re-discovering the soul-full-love that lives in one’s own body as would be seen, felt and experienced by walking next to a person who is connected with their Soul.
Some people get tattoos under their eyelids in support of their football teams which must be so incredibly painful and quite risky as it’s so close to your eye.
I remember as a teenager I really wanted to get a tattoo, but THANKFULLY at the time my boyfriend’s mum talked me out of it, she did it by explaining that tattoos go green and look awful on older people – basically making me realise it was a life time choice to permanently mark myself that I might feel differently about in the future. I’m so thank full, because I would never put my body of health in that position now.
I have been more aware of tattoos in the last few months than ever before, I live in London a place where tattoos in the main were hidden under work clothes rather than fully visible. Now this is changing, it doesn’t seem to matter where you work or what you do tattoos are now acceptable. It’s been a particularly hot summer this year too so tattoos have been more on show and to be honest I have found it quite hard to see so many beautiful women and men with tattoos that take away from their innate beauty. There are women that no longer look like women because of the way they are presenting themselves and if this is the image that young girls are growing up seeing then our young people are going to grow up with very distorted images of what it is to be a women in the world.
“Each removal session supports me to feel more of me. Now I am able to look at myself in the mirror and see and feel me and the body I am in – not the tattoos I chose to hide behind.” We literally have hundreds of things we can hide behind whether it be tattoos, a certain style, or an image of what we want to project, yet in truth nothing can disguise the fact we are all made from love. We can ignore this fact and pretend to be something or someone else yet indeed in us all is divine love – it is our choice whether we hide it or embrace it.
That’s so interesting that you describe your tattoos as a way of hiding your body, I would say I did the same thing or perhaps it was more to hide me, to hide behind the tattoo. I remember clearly that once I had a tattoo I kept thinking about where to get my next tattoo, at the time tattoos were less common or acceptable so I felt my feet would be a good place as the tatto would only be visible in the summer in strappy shoes or at the beach. Fortunately I never got my second tattoo as I have a feeling that once I had got my second tattoo I would have continued and got a lot more.
Beneath the chosen image and the layers of ink that produce it, dwells an energy that has been given permission to enter that slowly erodes our true sense of self. In this way we are offered a false image of ‘self’ we play ball with, indulging in the identification and recognition we receive through such a process, albeit that it takes us further and further away from who we truly are. That so many of us are choosing ink over no ink these days, and that the tattoos are getting bigger and more elaborate, speaks to us of how far we are drifting from our centre core despite the fact that this godly aspect of us is now more accessible than ever before.
I love to change my style and my look, sometimes I like to where red sometimes not sometimes I like to where high shoes sometimes not- the permanence in a tattoo means there is no room from for changing ones mind – this would drive me crazy!
I totally agree Sam and that is the reason I never got one, I used to use the analogy of a tee shirt, I have many of them all different and I like to wear a different one depending on where I am going or whatever my mood fancies and I have had favourite tee shirts but I wouldn’t want to wear them forever as a week down the line I have another favourite.
Its great to share your experience of tattoos and why you felt to get them – It does seem like a hook we can get caught in – wanting something and being addicted to this. Our bodies always tell us the truth – covering them up is just a cover.
There is a sharp satisfaction in doing things that harm ourselves – as if we confirm that we are less and this is the correct thing to do. The key seems to be removing the cause for the satisfaction because once that cause is gone then harming yourself just makes no sense whatsoever.
I love this blog, super raw and honest – I find it disturbing how many people want tattoos now without fully feeling it.
I know if I had gone ahead with the tattoo I wanted when I was younger I would have seriously regretted it.
This article makes a great point that when something becomes normal in society like tattoos, we stop asking why we would do/choose that. If we really felt into why we would get a tattoo, we might be able to save ourselves the pain and expense later of realising that it was a way to deal with something we didn’t want to feel. Speaking with some friends who have had tattoo removals, it took them back to the lack of confidence, protection or anger they felt at the time and tried to cover up with the tattoo.
Mixed with a big dollop of appreciation and we are on the way to living the vitality we so often crave!
They say never say never, but when the body speaks all words are allowed.
One has to only walk the streets to see the levels of self-recognition humanity is craving with an assortment of distractions to entertain and fill a void that returns time and time again.
Yes, that void is always there until it is filled with love and then there is still a tension to be more.
I used to be amazed at the art work that goes into a tattoo, and was influenced to have a couple of small ones done many years ago, just to fit in and do something different at the time. I have since realised the energy that i have allowed into my body coming from the person that did the tattoo and that it was time to close the door to this energy, so a removal session was booked, it was quite a painful process closing the door, but so worth it as I feel the energy has now left my body.
The ‘bigger and bolder’ mentality you talked about, wanting to have even more tattoos as well as ones that would stand out more, extends across many different ‘hobbies’ or behaviours. Take alcohol for example; someone might have a night out and get super wasted, but this means that next time this has to be topped by a whole new level of getting smashed. We need to up the extremes in order to fight what we really know to be the truth of how we can live and look after ourselves.
And the body speaks, it makes itself known. First as a whisper for the sensitive, building to a crescendo and cataclysim if we ignore it until it decides to clear some of the excesses. The body has so much to tell us, we should definitely listen!
I remember thinking my tattoo was going to be the coolest thing ever – filled with meaning and even done in a special place in San Francisco… all very romantic ideal. It hurts, alot. And then over time the ideal faded and I was just left with an ink mark that I no longer wanted. After 20 years I got it removed (great choice) but that hurt about 20 x more than getting it in the first place.A bit of karmic balancing methinks!
I love that this blog proposes that there is always more to getting a tattoo then just ‘liking it’. We may not want to look underneath the surface but that does not mean nothing is going on there. And what if this tattoo was just creating more reflection on the surface and therefor is simply there to assist in not seeing past it and so we do not get confronted by our underlying issues and hurts? No wonder that when the shine of the tattoo fades we need another to keep the reflection bright enough for us not to see through.
While I never had tattoos, I can feel that I hid myself with excess weight. I used this as a form of protection to hide behind and to not let others see me. I held myself back from others and presented an outer appearance that kept people away. I now realise that this is no different to why people get tattoos.
Summer is a revelation as the suddenly increased lack of clothing reveals the extent of people tattooed. In my home town we have several tattoo parlours to cater for the volume of people wanting tattoos now.
Every time I see a tattoo, I can’t help thinking that had to hurt. Then the other day I saw a documentary about a woman getting her female parts tattooed (that was cringe-worthy), but she had a cream put on to numb the effect of the needle. She was fine until the cream wore off and it did hurt her, but she continued – this highlighted the lengths we will go to fulfil our desires at that time.
Tattoos, holidays, shopping, name your ways of feeling the go to’s that bring us short term satisfaction but leave us wanting and searching for more.
” I eventually realised this protection did not work ”
This is so important, for truly the tattoo was not a protection but a numbing that gave the sense of protection. Like all addiction numbing is the main aspect.
Well said John. We find so many ways to bury the feelings that are there to support us in understanding ourselves and the way things work, that support us in our evolution.
I used to get severely bad ingrown hairs – particularly on my legs. So I seriously considered getting the whole area tattooed so as to cover the scarring. I spent months thinking about it. Flash to years later and I now have no ingrown hairs, my skin is clear and I never got a tattoo – but it shows to me that the energy behind a tattoo can be about hiding and making something beautiful. And in that we don’t actually consider why we don’t celebrate every inch of our body for just how it is.
Tattoos are not an anomaly but a symptom of the way we choose to hide and cover up our light. Whether it’s a job, or anxiety and stress it just distracts from the true beauty of who we are. None of it is needed when we embrace our Love – it’s this that is at the root, not fashion or bad habits. Thank you Nicole.
We have so many ways in which we can be self abusive to our bodies this is just another clever way.
‘I am not the clothes I wear nor the hairstyle I have – to know that I am what is within – and it is that beauty within that is now able to shine, without the need for any form of fashion accessory or tattoo. ‘We are born beautiful and this never leaves us, a message every child should get and I have to think of the amazing book ‘I am beautiful’ from Sunlight Ink Publishing with this same powerful message.
I cannot imagine how painful it must be to get a tattoo let alone getting them removed.
Addictions are purely based on an image and a tattoo fits nicely into a false image, as are all images, they are deceptive, because they hide us from the true connection to our divine light.
It is incredible the lengths and extremes we permit ourselves to go to, to seek recognition or acceptance, which only gives us a false sense of belonging and no connection to who we really are. As at the end of the day this seeking outside of ourselves only takes us further away from appreciating how absolutely gorgeous we all naturally already are within.
I agree Carola we go far and wide, abusing ourselves in all manners and ways and not only that we champion each other for it so that the pact will not be broken and no-one will go off and seek salvation within.
The massive increase and trend in tattoos and tattoo parlours is very alarming with the reality and harm to our bodies it does and this is hidden in fashion and trends and lack of self worth and acceptance of being simply who we are with our innate beauty within.
The massive increase and trend in tattoos and tattoo parlours is very alarming with the reality and harm to our bodies it does and this is hidden in fashion and trends and lack of self worth and acceptance of being simply who we are with our innate and beauty within.
It makes sense Nicole when you speak about tattoos offering a protection so people do not see and feel who we truly are.
Tattoos are becoming more popular than ever and more extreme, but at the same time, there have been reports that indicate that the ink is collecting within the lymph nodes of the body and could be causing other health issues. I just wonder where it will all end, after all, we never really get off scott free with our wayward behaviour – our behaviour gets extreme, and the body has no choice but to try to correct the situation, no different than the earth.
Nothing external can ever take away the pain of being disconnected from ourselves.
Wisely said Elizabeth – everything we ultimately seek is already within, as has been shared and lived through the ages by various masters of Soulful living.
The problem is, that you get recognition for actually harming yourself. No wonder the vicious circle gets fed and stays more easily alive.
“Or did they allow me to focus on something else on my body – rather than on my body itself?”
A simple, interesting angle you offer here. If I have something to look at at my body it does indeed distract from all the bits I don´t accept and like. Receiving attention and recognition for that, helps me to hide my own insecurity and to identify with the tattoo and the feedback. No surprise people want more, as this kind of identification needs to be fed constantly, as you are dependend and needing it from the outside.
During a trip to London recently, I saw a lot of clothing shops that promised the same beautification of the body as do tattoos. A promise of something gained when something is adorned. And it was interesting to observe how the beauty of the person buying the clothing was actually not more or less for buying these clothes, they simply remained the same gorgeous person, just with a new outfit. So the promise is empty, because it gives naught as what we have naturally is already enough.
The clarity you offer in the “after affects” of the tattoo, and how like many aspects of life it did not really fill the hole that was there, is monumentally helpful for anyone considering a tattoo. Just like taking drugs, bingeing on alcohol, or even overeating, there is no substitute for a connection within.
‘No matter how many tattoos I had, once the thrill and excitement of my new tattoo wore off, I was left with the same old feeling of worthlessness, a lack of respect for and acceptance of myself.’ yes fix its don’t last do they, what was there that we were trying to conceal is still there and until it is addressed more fixing will always be needed.
” succumbing to the latest fad. ”
It’s quite shocking to think that putting a tattoo on the body can be a fad , when one considers the possible risks involved for the body, such as infection , blood poisoning and other life treating risks.
It’s very interesting to understand the psychology behind why so many are being tattooed — IT IS making that connection to your essence that is pure in delight and already the most beautiful intricate intimate sight — No tattoos needed.
We seek all sorts of camouflage in life, whether that be a job or role, designer clothes or tattoos they all obscure what is naturally already there in me and you. We are rich beyond our dreams, innately – all we need to do is accept our beauty and let ourselves be seen. Thank you Nicole.
So many people are now getting tattoos, which means that as a society we are trying really hard to avoid the tension that we are feeling. The truth is however that no matter how many tattoos we get, how much entertainment we indulge in, how much alcohol, drugs or food we consume the tension will not go away as it is there to remind us that the way that we are living is not truth and so only when we address this will we understand what tension is all about.
Beautifully expressed, Elizabeth! Running away from hurt will never heal it. Feeling it and then letting it go is the only way, talking from a lived experience.
I love this sharing Nicole, of realising that this addiction (like other addictions) came from being in a tension with yourself and then learning to feel and deal with the tension allowed you to let go of the addiction.
” to know that I am what is within – and it is that beauty within that is now able to shine, without the need for any form of fashion accessory or tattoo. ” This is a huge transformation, the individualness of the expression of our essence can only come from us ,anything that does not support this, dulls the expression and leaves everyone less, including ourselves.
‘No matter how many tattoos I had, once the thrill and excitement of my new tattoo wore off, I was left with the same old feeling of worthlessness, a lack of respect for and acceptance of myself.’ yes what ever the addiction unless we address the underlying cause it remains and so the need is there for more and more to stop feeling what is there.
The city in which I live now houses many tattoo parlours, along with this many are offering tattoo removal in a kind of flippant statement saying its ok you can always have it removed. Ask anyone who has been through the slow, painful and expensive experience of tattoo removal of where they where at when they made that original decision and we start to get to bottom of why there is such demand.
The increase is evident in many cities with a climb also in the sizing and designs that are often difficult to distinguish due to the volume of work being placed on body parts.
I saw on Facebook today that there is a new technique that gives tattoos shine and sparkle. It seems so strange that we should deny our own shine and sparkle that naturally comes out when we really lovingly connect to others and that we should want to replace it with a false layer of something that gives an impression of sparkle and shine but is literally only skin deep.
How many people that get tattoos these days really stop to consider why they are actually getting them because now days it does seems that more people are getting them than not. In most restaurants in London all the staff have them and I have often wondered how many tables you have to wait to pay for them especially the ones that cover whole limbs.
Nicole it is great to have an understanding of why people get tattoos as I have never been drawn to getting one, mainly because of the pain factor, but what you have shared here can help others to get an understanding of what place they were in before they chose to get them and then perhaps start the healing process.
It is interesting to read how one tattoo was not enough. How there was the need or desire for more and more. I can relate to this with alcohol or drug taking and that feeling of no matter how much was consumed there was still a need for more. This would mostly come about through not wanting to be aware and wanting to suppress my sensitivity, which mostly happened due to a lack of resources or practical tools for knowing how to be in the world in a way that retained and supported the sensitivity that is not only always there in myself, but is in everyone else too. Sensitivity I have come to learn is actually one of our greatest tools for life, because it supports us to discern and to be aware, and to see the love that is innately there in everyone even though we may be acting in contra to it.
Tattoos have become a fashion trend and what has recently come to light is that the ink within the body accumulates within the lymph nodes, so may not be harmless as everyone has led to believe.
It may depend – while she still feels the same as when she got the tattoo she may even feel good about it everytime she sees it.
It is interesting how much society’s perception can change. There was a time when tattoos looked like a disfigurement. Society’s perception has massively changed on this.
I have observed that nearly everyone that has a tattoo of some description also seems to have a sense of self-neglect and disregard. This is not a judgement or criticism just an observation which makes me wonder if the fact that tattoos are becoming so much more common nowadays is also a sign that there is also a great level of self-disregard among many in society.
It’s interesting the things we choose to hide behind. The ironic thing is just how much we make ourselves stand out, with the intention of hiding. It feels nonsensical. Whilst never getting any tattoos myself, I know I’ve done similar things to fit a picture of what I think I should look like (mostly to be accepted by some people, but fooling myself into believing it’s for me), getting a nose ring for example, or wearing certain clothing or wearing my hair a certain way.
In a world where we think we are not beautiful enough just as we are we will always be vulnerable to looking for external sources to artificially boost us only to realise that any artificial boost will always come down as it is not sustainable – this leaves us empty and wanting more… and so the cycle continues.
So love what you share, I am sure many people can relate, we really need to ask at a societal level what is going on when so many people are opting to get the skin tattooed.
It’s been quite something to observe that a few years ago tattooing and body piercing were quite rare, but now have become a very common and popular phenomenon. To hear about your experience and why you chose to have tattoos, Nicole gives a real insight into why some choose to have them. Tattoos are pretty permanent and my understanding is that they are painful to remove… I wonder how those that have them when young, feel about the tattoo when older?
The amount of body art that is becoming ever more popular that is on display everywhere and growing. Does this show the level of lack of self-acceptance is going through the roof? It was once a small little thing, often hidden from general view for women, now it almost is like an open competition. Tattoos are like winning a race, it takes a long time, and a lot of pain and when the race and tattoo are over, there is just a fleeting moment of relief.
‘No matter how many tattoos I had, once the thrill and excitement of my new tattoo wore off, I was left with the same old feeling of worthlessness, a lack of respect for and acceptance of myself.’ This reminds me of the thrill of a new relationship, of a new car or bike or even a new gadget for the kitchen. When we let this thrill be bigger than us we can lose ourselves to it and get swallowed up in the excitement. It is an emotional situation that drains us because just like a sugar rush our body needs energy to bring us back to balance and if we don’t have a connection to ourselves we can get toppled again quite quickly.
I appreciate the self-care, and self-love that you are developing for yourself and sharing with us all.
I can distinctly remember going to have a tattoo inked on my skin, more than 15 years ago now. I was seeking desperately to be one of the cool girls, to be liked, and to belong. My self-esteem was at an all-time low – but not something i would consider at the time. In essence I had lost myself and I was seeking confirmation from everything outside of me as to who I was.
To see the dramatic rise and normalisation in tattoos today, I can only wonder what the extremes of emptiness people feel today within themselves. The rise of tattoo culture worldwide, because that is what it is, is a reflection of how far down the void of disconnection we have gone into.
There are metals and substances in the inks used for tattoos that we may well find to be very harmful. I have heard of several people already having had problems with their skin and getting sick but we do not put much attention on this because we don’t want to know how harmful it is, a bit like smoking back in the 1950’s when there was a belief that smoking relaxed you and the fact that the lungs were being heavily compromised was conveniently ignored.
A beautiful, wise and informative sharing thank you Nicole. The deep understanding you bring, without judgement, as to why people get tattoos is very much appreciated.
It would seem the tattooing trend is on the rise with an industry that is literally booming. It makes me wonder whether there is something more about the world that is changing that is prompting people to resort more and more to such measures to hide their natural fragility and beauty? After all in the mindset of one who adores who they are for who they are, a tattoo should simply not be a possibility.
I am often shocked by some tattoos and those who have them, quite old ladies with big arm tats that look more like they should be on a sailor, it is really fascinating and curious as to how we arrived at this place in such a short amount of time. The tide will turn on this fashion trend as it does with every previous trend but the pain and cost of removing these tattoos is a very large price for being fashionable.
In a way we could say tattoos are obvious and easy to see – with the heavy and intense energy they bring to the otherwise clear and delicate skin. But the more you get honest about what tattoos do and why we have them in the first place the more it’s easy to see that many things in our life work the same way. We drink and eat and say all sorts of things. But each of these carries with it a vibration, that if we don’t pay attention to, can obscure and fight our natural light. So we can see that with tattoos it’s not just the skin they block out. Thank you Nicole for this honest account.
The rise in tattoos is really showing us all that there is something not right about the way we are living. Having a tattoo is in no way a self-loving thing to do, in fact it is very self harming.
I had my tattoo removed with Dr Anne Malatt and over the time it was being removed I could feel how I re-connected to the part of my body where the tattoo was and in this process I realized that body part had not belonged to me since having the tattoo. I never would have thought this possible had I not experienced it.
We tend to get tattoos in the illusion that they will make us more appealing, sexier, and not understanding that that actually is not needed and that it is just all about having a deeper level of acceptance and just giving ourselves permission to let out what lives within us- the simplicity and immense beauty of it all.
Beautiful Nicole, ‘I accept and appreciate the body I have, no matter how it may look, and know that I could never become addicted to tattoos again.’ Years ago I thought of getting a tattoo, at the time I was feeling lost and looking for something to make me feel loved and ‘unique’, nowadays as I care for and adore my body, I do not feel the need to have tattoos, I see the beauty of my body just as it is and now love to look after my body with creams and wearing clothes that feel confirming of my loveliness and beauty.
It is quite astounding to note what we can become addicted to, whether that be tattoos or any substance we ingest or inhale. Tattoos must convey something that we are not willing to give ourselves but as you say, they don’t really because patrons have to do it over and over again.
Through our lack of connection to our bodies we fail to understand and accept just how magnificent we are, they are and the majesty that is held therein. If we truly understood and embraced the truth that our bodies hold, of the intelligence and wisdom of the universe, we would never seek to harm or impair the communication it offers. Without our bodies, our Souls cannot be here, express and bring to life the ‘out of this world’ beauty and equally exquisite qualities of our Soulfulness.
I was at a meeting the other day when someone wrote a reminder on their hand before I could scramble in my bag for a piece of paper. It wasn’t just old school memories of being told not to draw on one’s hands because of the danger of absorbing poisons that bothered me but the sense that teacher made when I heard it. So tattoos have always had a sense of self-harm for me that from watching programmes on tattoo studios has seemed to escape those getting them, many getting tattoos to commemorate a special person to them or event or personal success. In these cases there seems to be an element of holding onto something and not allowing life’s flow to expand to where it could be.
If we owned a beautiful car that was our responsibility to care for, would we allow someone else to scratch graffiti all over it?
This is a great point Mary. Love the simplicity of your question.
There has been a huge wave of tattooing since the incident in Manchester England where 22 people died. It’s amazing how as humans we just follow on what other people are doing without considering all the factors of our actions and all the implications and consequences they may have.
Its interesting what you say about tattoos providing a short term sense of worth, but that it inevitably wears off. There are so many ways we look to fill that void of self worth, but nought works except connection to self.
Thank you Nicole for sharing your experience of tattoos, I remember getting two tattoos when I was around fifty now twenty odd years later I am so pleased to have made the choice to have them removed, painful though it may be to have them removed, it is nothing compared to having that energy running through my body.
It is great to hear the whole story from someone that has gone through the whole process of getting a tattoo, to tattoo addiction and then come out the other side after going through the process of removal and such an honest look into why you got them in the first place. I’m amazed at the range of people that get them these days, they used to be quite rare but now it seems more people have them than not.
Accepting, appreciating and caring for our bodies is certainly the key to connecting to the innate wisdom that is within each and every one of us. Thank you Nicole for sharing your experiences on tattoos, your choices and your transformation.
When I see a person with many tattoos I find it hard to see the person – it is hard to see past the tattoos. It’s as though when we tattoo ourselves we put up a wall and present to the world something that is not who we are.
I had associated tattoos with wanting to be noticed or something within a person needing to be fulfilled to go through what I felt was a painful process.
I personally have never been drawn to tattoos, being tattooed is just as painful as having it removed. I’ve observed my partner make this decision to have one of the tattoos removed and I don’t think I could put my body through that pain (but then again I don’t do well with any forms of skin penetration including injections except Esoteric Chakra puncture).
I have a family member who is covered in tattoos when she was in hospital one day, she was scolded by a nurse they would have difficulty finding the veins in her arms in an emergency .
This whole thing for wanting a tattoo certainly needs exploring.
Having a tattoo always felt like such an imposition but to read that the copyright is owned by the artist was still shocking. Amazing that something we choose to have on our skin at great cost not only in terms of money but also pain etc is not ours should give people pause for thought before they embark on this journey.
Thank you for sharing so honestly about the process you have been through and the addictive nature of tattoos which is a great insight for someone like me who has never considered having a tattoo and been in bemusement of the growing trend towards not just having tattoos but ever bigger ones. I was talking to someone about his tattoo which covered one of his arms and was shocked by how much it cost (we had just been discussing debt issues) and the lengthy waiting times (6-12 months) for the most popular tattooists. But the addictive nature of tattoos makes so much sense because addictions often cause financial hardship and are a distraction from feeling the pain of what is not true in our lives.
The addictive nature of tattoos is a curious thing and not being tattooed myself, is a trend I have noticed for some years now amongst my tattooed friends. It is like something enters at the point of first being injected with ink that sets up a craving, like all addictions, for the next ‘hit’. We would do well as a society to deeply consider our currently obsession with tattoos in light of how common place they are today and thus what force is at play through such a procedure and why as a group we are becoming increasingly complacent, if not downright championing of such an act? What do we get out of it? Is it only a seeking of identification, the wanting to belong to a group or does it go much deeper?
I love the simplicity of the equation: tattoos to tattoo removal = addiction to self-acceptance. And how this can be applied to so many behaviours in our lives. The freedom from habitual patterns (addictions) when we build tender, understanding and respectful relationships with ourselves is amazing to feel.
I saw a presentation today by Dr Anne Malatt and it was really interesting. Anne was basically sharing, amongst other things, the damage to the body a tattoo does and the package of energy that is delivered to that person when getting a tattoo … and it certainly is not a gift! As you say it is interesting that more and more people are getting tattoos, so much so now that the question is asked ‘why do you not have a tattoo?’. Maybe what we should be asking is what is it that we do not want to truly feel or deal with so we get a tattoo instead! You may find this article interesting on tattoos as well http://ipkitten.blogspot.co.uk/2015/09/when-tattoos-get-under-your-skin-film.html
Thank you Nicole for sharing that the process for you has not simply been about getting the tattoo removed but stopping to feel the impact this has had on your body and what ideals and beliefs you have carried through this process. The process is obviously one that takes much time and patience yet the healing that is on offer is truly inspiring to read for everyone.
What you share here is really interesting as I have never had a tattoo and have been quite baffled by why so many are getting them, from so many different types as you shared. That they can be addictive makes a lot of sense.
When I meet people with tattoos I can often feel that they have one before I see it ‘in the flesh’. It seems to be because they operate like a disturbance in that persons energy. The more I have experienced and heard about them I get the sense that people take them on almost like a blanket to hide and protect themselves from the world. So whilst I have never had a tattoo myself, I absolutely relate to what you share Nicole and can see I have been overlaying my life with false imposing energies, like being stressed or angry, that operate in just the same way.
Tattoos seem for me an obvious symptom or sign of how much we hide who we are from the world and how much we tend to believe that we are not enough as we are. The more I have connected to and understood who I am and how lovely I am as me, the less I have wanted to hide or protect myself from the world and the less attached I am to those ‘add ons’ whether it be career, hobbies, sports, clothes, possessions etc that I had previously used to define myself and my worth.
It will be very interesting to see what happens in the future with tattoos, that is how they will affect the body’s health and vitality. There are potentially a lot more side effects to tattoos than people realize and it may take years to identify what they are.
Great point Elizabeth. Will the explosion in numbers and sizes of tattoos be another one of our blind ventures that leave us with ongoing consequences?
It is great that the conversation is getting started about the addictive nature of tattoos and the permanent mark that leaves. I have heard a lot of people with tattoo share about how addictive it is. It is quite a substantial amount of pain to endure. I can remember as a teenager playing ‘pain’ games and doing things that hurt and seeing what you could withstand- sometimes back then I actually enjoyed the pain because I felt something.
To end any addiction and see our value is truly worth celebrating.
Tattoos are getting more and more trendy and it is like the latest ‘craze’ – Tattoo shops used to be hidden away in little alley ways or hard to spot, but these days you can find several of them just on the main street of little towns. Tattoos used to be almost ‘taboo’ but now its is considered a form of ‘Body Art’…. I do a lot of massages, and I can share that it is quite uncommon to see a young man or young woman come in for a massage and have a refreshingly ‘clean’ unmarked body (unmarked with tattoos) – most will have some form of tattoo. As with most things that become popular and a bit of a ‘craze’, there are often unwanted side effects or unwanted effects in general which are not discussed nor revealed easily to the gullible public – In my opinion tattoos fall into this category and we may have to wait and see what people may have deep regrets about later on in life. I am already noticing several tattoo removal places that have sprung up…
Hello Nicole, and thank you for sharing your experience on tattoos. I recall 15 years ago a time when I was not feeling particularly flash about myself and I was considering getting a tattoo. It felt rebellious and it felt like I was making a statement. I never ended up going for it as all the tattoo parlours and places that I walked past felt seedy and unhygienic, and today with my understanding of how tattoos can affect us energetically, I am thankful that I never went for it. As you have shared in your blog, I never stopped to consider that sometimes we seek tattoos as a means to cover our body to hide what we have not accepted – so reading your blog has been very interesting and makes sense as to why I was drawn to something like tattoos at a time when I was not feeling particularly good about myself.
There are many things we choose in attempts to ease the discomfort of feeling critical and unsatisfied with ourselves (tattoos, alcohol, drugs, shopping, social media, eating…), all of which give short term relief and therefore the need to seek more of the same.
Uncovering the underlying reasons for getting a tattoo takes a lot of courage and true strength, as on the surface, it can be very easy to deny all of this and make it all about the right to do what we will to our body.
Tattoos are another form of distraction away from who we truly are. In other words, to me, tattoos are like contracts that bind us to the physical and glorify the illusion of image we are all under. Why? To keep us distracted from the energetic being, the soulfulness and multidimensional connection we have within. So the more we are focused on the outer world the less we take notice of the inner worlds.
This reminds me of the teeny tiny nose ring I had for about 10 years. I loved it. I got it when I was 18 and living overseas. Looking back, I know that as well as thinking it would suit me, it was more about wanting to have a slight edge. I was miserable at the time, and whilst I believe I probably would have had my nose pierced regardless of how I was feeling, it was definitely an act of rebellion, as I knew my parents or, at least my dad would not approve. But I was overseas, and what was he going to do about it? I took it out 10 years later, only after pondering all the reasons why I got it and why I was still so attached to it. I realised I identified with it, and that it gave me something extra, that was a little unexpected, because I was/am pretty straight laced and wasn’t willing to do drugs and drink like crazy and be out there in the usual way, so it was also a form of trying to be accepted.
To this day, I still like the idea of the nose ring, it was a very very small diamond, barely noticeable, but I took it out just to see how I would feel without it, and allow anything that needed to come, come up. I never put it back in, simply because I realised I didn’t need the protection anymore, and I also forget all about it.
Love how you use the tattoo removal as a healing process not just a physical thing that must be done. Brings a whole and deeper dimension and meaning to the whole process. I would imagine we could have tattoos removed but still have the issue of not loving ourselves (the reason why we got the tattoo in the first place) not healed and hence seek something else in life to fill that void up be it food, drinking etc.
“No matter how many tattoos I had, once the thrill and excitement of my new tattoo wore off, I was left with the same old feeling of worthlessness, a lack of respect for and acceptance of myself.” A great point Nicole and I can see how to regain a moment of self worth the thought of another tattoo is a great distraction but it comes at a cost to the body. I had no attraction towards tattoos so my lack of self worth came from trashing my body in other ways. If we truly know what love is we would never do the things we do that compromise our body and compound the feeling of worthlessness and lack of acceptance of ourselves.
This is a great blog about tattoos and one that needs to be read by many people. The thing that strikes me about tattoos is that people do not seem to consider the long-term effects of putting ink on the body and having that ink get absorbed into the body. Surely there has to be consequences to that?
I agree Elizabeth! And if it’s all about looks and superficiality, then how will people feel as they age and these artistic statements start to slide, fade and reshape as the body changes through life? To me, it highlights the irresponsibility of people not considering how they live and how that affects their entire life and lives to come.
It is indeed an inditement on us as a whole global society when the latest fashion trend is to draw permanent pictures on to our skin, that not only do not ever come off, but also are so linked with a lack of affection for our selves.
I am watching around me and there is more and more tattoos and tattoo shops popping up. I don’t see the attraction myself but I can see many others seeing it differently. It seems similar to smoking in the early years where they made it look like it was trendy and cool and yet there was a cover to the serious harm it caused. I wonder if tattoos will be the same in this way, trendy and cool now and in years to come seriously harmful. It maybe just me but I see a serious rise in the amount of people wearing tattoos and in particular women.
There is a growing trend and fashion, that a kid shared with me in book at school that people now get flesh tattoos – I’m not sure if thats the correct name – but where they carve into the flesh, cut it away, similar designs to inked tattoos but no ink. Very scary – it seems that tattoos are not enough anymore for some people.
I agree Gyl, as if tattoos are not enough, something more extreme comes along. Another trend which is growing, is the placing of implants under the skin.
In days gone by, our inner complications and dysfunctions were hidden from the world, and we could go through life with a pleasant or awful mask on, and that would be that… Now people are advertising their disconnection, dysfunction, and hurts blazoned in ink upon the body… What a giveaway!
Well said and observed Chris. We want recognition for the hurt that we feel as this keeps us identified in the seeming drama of it all.
If you really considered what is involved in getting a tattoo then you may consider it more deeply before you get one – you pay a complete stranger a whole lot of money to drill ink into your body, often into a very sensitive part of your body, like your breast or on your spine, it hurts like hell and takes weeks to settle down. You are then left with this disfigurement for life unless you pay another whole load of money to get it removed. Which involves more pain then when you received it and this time you need to go back heaps of time to get it properly removed.
As you have shared Nicole, tattoos can be a form of protection, not wanting to feel or accept our own body, which is a sad indictment on how we feel about ourselves when one tattoo is not enough, & now whole bodies are being covered. This is telling us loud and clear we are not accepting ourselves and we are going to a form of protection, which leads to an addiction just to feel better about ourselves.
It is definitely very common for people to have tattoos now. I have never got one but can completely see what you are saying about them, that they can become an addiction and how it also distracts us from deeply connecting and truly loving our body because if this was there in the first place we would never want to tattoo our body.
I have always been curious as to why people choose to have tattoos, and your blog Nicole goes a long way to answering that question. I always used to be very wary of guys with tattoos, and I always felt very unsettled by them, there was a certain ‘stay away’ energy they had and I naturally avoided them. Now I have noticed how deeply sensitive they are and from my conversations with those I know with tattoos, how at the time getting the tattoo felt right, but many of them regret the permanent nature of them.
Having nearly come close to having a tattoo myself, I can clearly say I am so glad I did not go through with it, not just for the harm energetically and physically it could have done to me but also because I love change, I love different forms of expression and how I have my hair cut today will not be the same as next year. I can only imagine how fed up I would feel if I had something that was there to stay which I could not change.
This blog is a great reminder of how far we have gone to express our need for self -recognition. The levels of tattooing have hit an alarming rate in recent years from one or two to whole sleeves and face art. Is this art or a cry for attention in a world where we are driven by a culture of self- betterment in the price of our health and wellbeing?
I needed tattoos because I felt I was not enough. I did not feel enough because it was truth that I knew but did not live, so I needed to use something outside of myself to confirm what I know within. But our true confirmation cannot be found in anything outside of ourselves as I have discovered after lots of trials, the only confirmation I can have of myself is within me—it is from feeling my own love.
“Was it possible that tattoos fooled me into believing that I accepted myself? ” It always seemed to me like people with tattoos are very confident and strong yet your blog shows what is truly going underneath and that having tattoos can actually come from a insecurity about ourselves.
Tattoos used to be a way of standing out from the crowd, now they are a way of being part of the the crowd. Of course the individual tattoos have to be more extreme to stand out and the recent craze for colouring eyes black goes along with this. As some have commented is this no different from the child who stands shouting ‘mum look at me , look at me’ that is a desperate cry to be noticed and have attention which is hiding the desire for acceptance and love underneath.
The craze of tattoos will soon leave those without any in the minority, with summer exposing usually hidden ink on people’s skin. I have many friends around me who are caught in a frenzy of being tattooed, seemingly addicted to getting them, the meanings and designs and placement. There is something very interesting in covering our skin in artwork, almost covering up who we are with other images.
People do get judged and received differently when they have tattoos, especially when they are going for employment. Having worked in HR there were occasions when people were turned down purely because of their tattoos and not due to their lack of ability to do the job.
I have never understood the point of large tattoos – they always look like a disfigurement to me.
I have done many very self-abusive things in my life, but thank God I never got a tattoo. Energetically, having a tattoo is far, far more harmful than people realise – it literally tattoos the energetic imprint of the tattooist into our bodies, staining us. Tattooist themselves are not aware of what goes on energetically – there is much, much more happening in this world than we care or chose to be aware of.
Spot on Nicola, there is far more involved in a tattoo than we first choose to realise. Body Art, as many choose to call tattoos today, are actually a living imprint of the ‘artist’ on our body affecting us and our choices each and every day. Why put yourself into a situation where your body is imposed upon by another energy, and hence our choices are not our choices but those of another? And down the track we have to live these consequences. Choose clean skin and your own life to live, with a clearer choice of energy, I say.
‘…a body not accepted, a body always needing ‘to be improved upon’, to fit the unrealistic picture the media constantly presents to us.’ The media dictates how we should look instead of supporting us to look inside and to feel what is true for us. It is misleading and never shows us the other side in this case of having tattoos which is really going through the roof at the moment. The damage that they are causing the body is not only physically but also energetically and is much more than we want to admit to ourselves. It is like all other addictions keeping us from feeling who we in truth are and what we are here for.
It’s was and still is, quite a moment of deep appreciation when I looked into the mirror and didn’t judge what was reflecting back. I found myself smiling in total acceptance. It was such a pure moment of joy when I realized that my first response was acceptance and not criticism. This is the unfolding of tender nurturing of myself as a flow on from the very appreciated presentations and workshops by Universal Medicine.
I love choosing clothes that I feel awesome wearing, but that feeling is likely to change as I grow, evolve and need different clothes for a different expression. If we choose to put something permanent on our skin we are left with a choice that we can no longer change. I can only imagine how frustrating that must be.
When out an about in society it amazes me how heavily tattooed people are and that is now normal and very much accepted. It is a permanent disfiguration of our body that is very hard to remove – I know because I’ve been in process for over a year removing a very small tattoo.
Tattoos do cost a fortune and cant be easily or effectively removed. I am so glad I have never had one and never will.
I was never drawn to tattoos, nor did I find them attractive on any level. I know the ink deep in the skin is simply not meant to be there. I wonder how toxic it must be for the body to have such poison infiltrating it deeply?
It’s so good you have a clear reason why you got your tattoos Nicole, and through loving choices got to the point of having them removed as they weren’t needed any more. I have often wondered why so many people have them these days as they used to sort of be for bikers and convicts, then a few cool people started getting them and now more people seem to have them than not.
I had never considered people get tattoos to hide behind – but it makes sense as I recall a beautiful, young, tender man who is literally covered as far as I am aware head to toe in tattoos. If I’m honest I find this sad. Where have we come to in the treatment of ourselves and one another that we would want or feel the need to do this? If we didn’t impose on each other many of the things we don’t like and see in life wouldn’t be here. We would have much more space and freedom to be ourselves.
Tattoos are very prevalent, I feel it is a way of hiding, as clothes, make up, fashion can be, but a deeper level of it. It superficially distracts, but we cannot truly hide from each other. We are all super sensitive and aware, we feel each others essence and potential in every meeting. Learning to honour what we feel and not hide, will mean we can drop the mask.
I am so glad I never had a tattoo. Does not seem to take very long to have one, but boy oh boy it is expensive and painful to have them removed and much much worse (energetically) if you don’t remove them. Not a good investment!
I remember a friend once saying to me that he couldn’t decide what clothes to wear most mornings, let alone what to put on his skin (permanently). But it’s more than decision making, it’s appreciating the beauty of my body – ‘warts and all’. Whether it’s self harm or tattooing, it’s no different – it’s a lack of love for oneself and one’s body. It was my (now) wife who first showed me, be example, how she looks after and cares for her body – it was inspiring. And she supported me by buying me products I could use in the shower and for my skin. An then she introduced me to Serge Benhayon, and I began to understand and have a new self awareness on another level.
It is very revealing to examine all the ways we avoid and distract ourselves from what is really going on and what we are feeling. I totally agree Nicole that the impulse to get another tattoo and another can become like an automatic reflex to put another layer between us and the world without considering what imprint may be left forever on our skins.
If you are considering getting a tattoo, be warned, I have had 25 tattoo removals on a rather small tattoo on my left breast to remove the tattoo. Interestingly it was more painful getting it removed then it was receiving the tattoo. This might have something to do with the fact that I was extremely checked out when I received the tattoo and very present when getting it removed.
Tattoos are a funny one, it seems they reflect the intensity of the times we live in, the more rushed and racy and fast paced life gets, the more distractions and complications in life, all this fits in with the more tattoos we see.
From what I have observed more so with women that have tattoos that I have met, it is definitely a showpiece or an item of discussion, and others will comment on how beautiful it looks. A woman who had just had a tattoo on her left arm which covered most of her arm, was commented on by another woman who thought it was very beautiful. But to me all I could feel was that it had changed her arm to a much more masculine arm and I felt took her feminineness and natural loveliness away.
Thank you, Nicole, for this honest exposure of tattoos. Just because something is fashionable or considered “cool” does not make it true. We need to have some honest discussion about what is really going on for people who are choosing to have tattoos and how the tattoos are affecting them.
When we see someone with tattoos that is all we see. It is a distraction away from seeing who the person really is. This to me feels like there is a growing awareness that we are not all that we could be and tattoos are a misinterpretation of seeking to be more.
I love that this blog Nicole is not about ‘how tattoos are bad’ or even whether they are good, but that you offer us the chance, an amnesty to stop and simply ask ‘why?’ Why is it that we do this and have tattoos becomes so incredibly popular in recent times? Is it just simply ‘fashion’ or is the something else happening? If there is in fact, something more to this case, don’t tattoo’s show there is a super powerful and unexplored component to the human race? For what if truly woven into every cell of our being beyond any ink, is the ability to understand energy? No wonder then we seek other things to lay on top, when we don’t appreciate and enjoy just what we sense.
This is just another example of the ill way in which we see our bodies and what we are prepared to do to make ourselves feel better about ourselves, even at the expense of the body.
It has always baffled me how people can sit through having a tattoo done, especially on places of the body which we know will hurt more as they are highly sensitive – what this shows is the level of disconnection we must have to go to in order to detach from the pain.
I don’t have a tattoo but it’s great to read your experience and understand the hook about getting them. Yes it sounds like an addiction and it’s funny how us humans always love an addiction – be it technology, work, alcohol, tattoos – same thing – something we escape in. It’s great to read how you simply started to appreciate your true beauty – a very loving story.
When I had my tattoo removed it was much, much more painful then when I got the tattoo, this exposed to me how numb I was when I got it.
It is enormous to come to a place where you can see that you used tattoos as a way to hide your body and yourself as a form of protection…. and gorgeous that you now realize that they are not needed for you have developed the acceptance and worth of your true beauty within.
As a teen I saw the appeal of tattoos as a mark of ‘this is who I am and what I stand for.’ When I was into clubbing I wanted UV ones but never found a design that I could connect to: something that would resonate with the beauty I was within (that I was far from claiming). No tattoos ever could represent the amazingness of who we are but at that time I wasn’t fully conscious of this, more that they felt 2 dimensional, disappointing and offered no development, no matter how intricate or artistic. They would only get faded, smudgy and old from the moment of conception – so different to who we are that only expands. What you’ve written makes total sense, that they have no use when a person feels the truth that they are more than enough.
The subject of tattoos is an extremely important, as you mention in your article it is rare these days to be clean skin, as everyone has been branded or marked somewhere on their body. There are several reality T.V shows based around tattooing, most of them are about fixing up really bad tattoos. When I say ‘ fixing up’ it is quite disturbing what people are allowing to be permanently drawn on their bodies, and this is suppose to be an improvement, the apparent ‘fix ups’ are enough to shock you to the bone, let alone the original craziness that they have willingly paid for in the first place. Your blog gives depth and experience on this subject and is very poignant in a world that seems to be saying we are not enough as we are anymore.
‘Clothes, shoes and accessories were one thing, but once they were gone, my body remained, raw, uncovered and exposed – a body not accepted, a body always needing ‘to be improved upon’, to fit the unrealistic picture the media constantly presents to us.’ This makes perfect sense to me. And how amazing that now you are allowing your body to be naked and not only accepting it but appreciating it, and possibly even loving it too!
Some very interesting points you raise Nicole, you are spot on with the recent popularity of tattoo’s, you are now the odd one out to NOT have a tattoo somewhere. And while it was once the domain of the ‘tough guys’, it is now considered cool and ‘expressive’ for any age, men and women alike. I know a couple in their 60’s who had one each done for their 40th wedding anniversary. This was simply unheard of twenty years ago.
I still can’t believe the popularity of getting tattoos in society today, especially the fact that the process is very painful, there is a risk of getting Hepatitis as sterilisation practises are not up to standards, and what impact will this have on their overall wellbeing longterm?
I am slightly aghast at what it seems to me to be an out of control trend in having huge tattoos all over your arms and body regardless of age or type of personality, it seems to have transcended type and everyone and anyone has a tattoo. It is a very disturbing trend when it is already coming to light that it can cause cancer. I am very glad that I never wanted one but did consider it for a very brief time and just couldn’t commit to something for life!
The tattoo is like a layer on top of our bodies that we can then give focus to rather than what is underneath. No different to clothes, what we eat, how we walk, emotional experiences or thoughts we entertain. Over time I have developed a relationship with my body that had led me to discover is that there is nothing wrong with my body. Nothing. In fact I would say it is more sensible, sensitive and wise than anything my mind could come up with. The avoidance stems from not wanting to feel how I have ignored a constant source of deep understanding and love that my body can communicate. And yet this hurt, when I do go there, doesn’t hang around for very long, if anything it is instantly removed until I choose to ignore my body again. The layers on top are only keeping us from avoiding feeling something that can be dissolved instantly but in the avoidance we build up more pain as each message is ignored stacks up. This is something I have not mastered but from experience the more I listen the more it makes sense to listen to my body.
I have been observing models lately and it is rare to see a model without a tattoo. They really are a fashion trend. But unlike other fashion trends next decade they will still be there. No throwing out a bad fashion choice with this option.
Yes it’s a good point Nikki, removal of a tattoo is a very lengthy, expensive and as I understand, very painful process. So as you say, it’s not easy to throw out this fashion choice, most will have it for life.
I have often wondered how the word tattoo has become associated with art and are now being called a “moving art” as our streets are filled with a growing number of people choosing to tattoo their body. What has become increasingly noticeable in the level of tattooing on the body from a small one on the wrist or ankle to massive pieces cascading down arms that are interestingly called ‘sleeves’. Once could say no different to that of a shirt. Working in an area where a number of tattoo shops have opened up I was surprised recently that one was located right next to a high school. No questions where asked on how this could influence our young population and the shop front was very appealing to the eye.
Your blog exposes the walls and layers tattoos can have over us. Although in truth they are not the layers that are over us, they are only physical representations of the layers we have placed over ourselves with our lack of accepting and loving ourselves for who we are in full.
Tattoos have become very normalised, but perhaps the recent link with cancer from the ink will change that. Or perhaps it won’t, there is certainly a strong draw for many to get tattooed and we see with other behaviours such as alcohol, that even though we know it is a poison it doesn’t stop many millions from choosing it as part of their lifestyle. I guess this is where we really do need to burrow to the root cause, and see that our behaviours are the masks we wear to not have to see what we don’t want to feel. Tattoos to me are never attractive but I understand that for others this is not what they see and that many are not yet ready to scratch below the surface of why they wish to have a permanent piece of work on their body.
‘ I have been able to end my addiction to tattoos and see my body and myself for who I truly am, the amazing, delicate woman I have always been and shall continue to blossom to be.’ Beautifully said Nicole, what a transformation to end this addictive cycle and embrace your true beauty and delicateness. So many people I know that had tattoos years ago don’t like them now because they all seemed to get them at a time in their life where they felt lost and quite empty and were looking for something to fulfill them – there was an instant excitement with the new tattoo but then it faded very quickly and the emptiness returned.
“Now I am able to look at myself in the mirror and see and feel me and the body I am in – not the tattoos I chose to hide behind.” Nicole that is really a great change you have made – this could be inspirational for those who might think to get a tattoo and perhaps may stop them to do so.
I really appreciate what you are sharing, I am what I like to call ‘clean skin’. I had big plans at 17 years old to cover my whole arms in colourful tatts, naked girls, motorbikes, pirate ships, you name it. I was so drunk and broke that I missed my appointments and luckily didn’t follow through with it. Thinking back I did have a deep knowing that that I would get sick of them and that I wasn’t in a good state to make big life decisions.
‘Clean Skin!’ wow… I haven’t heard that before, but it is no surprise Sarah, the attitude that tattoo’s are undesirable has become very ‘last era’. It makes me wonder where we can go from here when it comes to body mutilation and disfigurement!
As you say Nicole tattoos are everywhere nowadays and are worn very prominent and visible by people. To me when I meet someone with a tattoo I feel that in a way he or she are avoiding to becoming close with other people. These tattoos tell me to keep away and not to come too close. But when I do not allow that image to enter me I can make contact with the most beautiful and tender people they are underneath these tattoos, the same as anyone else.
Thank you for bringing up this issue with understanding and clarity, for the epidemic of tattoos and self abuse needs to be seen for the addiction it is.
Nicole I learned a lot about tattoos from your awesome blog as I could not understand why people are choosing to have them. One sentence got me very much: “I see now that I was using tattoos as a way to hide my body and myself, and as a form of protection.” Wow that is a realization – all the pain to get them made as a form of protection. That says a lot where we as a society are at!
We as a society are mostly at the mercy of our addictions whether it be tattoos or coffee until we begin to make choices that truly support us in a real way.
Tatoo’s were once seen as an extreme act and yet nowdays it is almost more extreme to not have one. In a relatively short time we as a society can make something that is harming and abusive, which leaves a long term scar and disfuguring of our body into something that is now ‘normal’. Why are we not asking ‘what is going on for this to happen’?
I also had no idea that this could be addictive, as for me it was not – it was far too painful and I promised myself I would never ever do that again… But then my need for it was different and therefore that one tattoo ‘signed me in’ to feel the sense of belonging, in this case to a particular group of people.
“Part of my development has been about reclaiming myself and living the naturally beautiful woman I am. The laser tattoo removal process is just another part of this development, along with other changes I made and am still making in my life.” – This is similar for me too Nicole. I did mine over 25 years ago, only one small one but nevertheless one, and I did it out of the need to belong somewhere. That is now so not true for me anymore and the tattoo therefor has no longer any meaning for me. I am also in the process of having it removed, and after my first session was quite surprised to feel the sadness that welled up when I realised where I was at at that time so long ago …
Nicole I often asked myself why people did not have only one tattoo but so many more. I was not aware of the fact that it could be an addiction. Your amazing blog is an eye opener to get a deeper understand why people need all this tattoos.
There are often so many reasons behind why we want a tattoo, I know when I wanted one I was really unsure of who I was and was needing something I thought would identify me, I love what you ask of us in your blog Nicole and that is to consider deeply why it is we think we may need something what ever it is a tattoo, drink, drugs or shopping. Thank you for taking us to a deeper level.
It seems quite bizarre to me that tattoos have become a fashion accessory, but I agree they certainly seem to have.
I enjoyed reading your blog, it gave me a greater understanding as to why people choose to have tattoos; I also really appreciated your honesty and self awareness. Thank you Nicole.
Not having a tattoo myself, I’d never contemplated what might truly be going on behind the motivation to get one – or several. So to read that it is a form of protection or distraction from not wanting to feel who we are without the facade makes real sense. Particularly so as an explanation for why the statistics show an exponential rise in the number of people getting tattoos month on month. This suggests there’s a whole lot of disregard and denial going on and begs the question, ‘What happens when there’s no more room on the body left to tattoo?’ Presumably we commence a different addiction that fulfils the same purpose?
Such a great take on tattoos and why people get them, that there is always an underlying reason for them. In your situation Nicole it was about self acceptance, I am probably not going to be too wrong in saying that it would be a very common theme for a lot of people who are getting tattoos these days. The self acceptance, or lack there of is getting to epidemic proportions. There has been such a proliferation of people getting tattoos, that you are hard pressed to find many young or old people without tattoos. There is so much more going on that we don’t want to necessarily feel.
Nicole this is an amazing sharing – thank you! Tattoos are the trend, the in thing, the latest fashion and there are so many people especially young people out there who are looking to fit in or be cool or look a certain way and hence the tattoos are going rife. However, as you have so beautifully shared, the excitement only lasts so long and then later on there can be the regret too. So I too wonder if tattoos are not just another thing to distract us from an inner un-ease, a feeling of not being enough or a feeling of needing to fit in and be something we are not?
Such a beautiful, honest account of your experience with tattoos, the addiction that comes with it, and how you lovingly transformed your life from lack of self worth and self loathing to self acceptance.
This is a great inspiring blog for anyone interested in getting tattoos to become more aware what is behind it or anyone who has tattoos and is thinking of removing them.
Thank you Nicole, your blog provides an insight into why people may choose to have a tattoo or a few even!
It’s very interesting to note just how popular tattoos are continuing to become.. For teenagers who can’t get them done legally there are so many ‘legal’, ‘semi-permanent’ tattoo kits and pens (which are almost identical to the real thing!) which can be bought online or in shops so that they can do it to each other. I was once asked to design a proper tattoo for a 14/15 year old girl who was going to get one the next week – young people see them as something glamorous and ‘adult-like’.
I haven’t ever had a tattoo but I have certainly been addicted to many things where I have tried to make up for my own lack of self-worth. This has included food, exercise, work, mothering (and the list goes on!). With all of these things in the past, I never questioned what was underneath the addiction and in many instances, saw these as things that I was identified by and often proud of. But at the same time, the substance or activity – whatever I was trying to escape in or from – only ever provided temporary relief, and hence why I had to keep returning to it… The only thing that enabled me to begin to see these as addictions (or dependencies) was being honest about why I needed them in the first place, and by developing self-care, it has enabled me to treat and view my body more and more with the love it and I deserve.
Great to have a deeper awareness of what and why people can choose tattoos. Tattoos being a permanent cover up rather than feel the natural rawness and uniqueness that is there. But still with permanent makings this hiding from self still didn’t last, and the push like all cover ups continues. So true that we are so much more from with-in than the cover-ups we go for, be it any behavior or distraction.
Two weeks ago I brought some shoes I thought I loved, today I don’t like them and don’t feel they fit properly I could not have been in a great place when I was buying them, maybe I had an idea of what I ‘should’ look like. My point is they are shoes I can take them back or to the charity shop yet if I had made the same decision with a tattoo I would be walking around with something permanently attached to me I did not like. Our skin and bodies are so precious why would we want to put ourselves through such harm?
There is definitely a link between the escalating tattooing that is prevalent in the world and the declining levels of self worth. Could these two be linked?
I have always wondered why people go for tattoos, but now it makes sense – the need to adorn the naked body and take focus away from the body itself – ie a self-worth issue. I relate to your experience of losing the need for addictions as you deepened your loving connection to yourself.
Addiction is such an insidious plague for humanity, and we will by our very nature continue to find new ways of addiction as well as the ‘tried and tested’ ways of old that still lurk in our cupboards and living rooms, until we make a choice to start the journey of return to our true essence.
If we held true appreciation for ourselves and deep self worth, there would be no need ever for tattoos.
Thank you for sharing your insights as to why you chose to be tattooed int he first place Nicole. I hadn’t really considered that people would use tattoos to hide themselves as they always seemed ‘attention seeking’ to me. It is lovely to bring more understanding to the reasons behind our choices.
Great comment Joseph Barker, love what you have highlighted here. It is so true.
Many of us will never have had an actual physical tattoo as you had done Nicole. Some of us may consider ourselves free, pure, or even look down on those that do. But when we take a long honest look at our lives, would we not have to say, that there are a hundred things, from sadness to job titles, postures to poisonous relationships that we actually use to tattoo our lives in exactly the same way? We take on energy that is not natural to us and wear it like a protective sheet. Yet the saddest irony is this quality is poisonous to who we truly are.
Great point Joseph… taking on or absorbing energy is just like having an invisible tattoo.
I often thought about it but, did not actually go there – having a tattoo that is. I succumb to other ‘numbing’ activities in my life. Tattoos always look so raw and painful after being put into the skin. In my observations lately the increase of tattoos is sky rocketing both for men and women and as you share Nicole its whole limbs being impregnated with inks. The concerning factor is, what is being absorbed into the body – it’s definitely not just ink!
Thank you Nicole for this exposing and informative blog; there is much to ponder on in exploring my own addictive behaviours, however subtle.
Unfortunately it seems as though the tattoo culture is gaining more interest, how scary is that when you consider we are absorbing the tattooists energy.
Thanks Nicole for sharing your experience. I had never reflected on why people got tattoos only that I knew it was something I could never do. Your explanation has helped me understand at a deeper level what is really going on for some people and for others it may be different. Any behaviour that takes our focus and connection away from how amazing we are, is an alert that can be pondered on bringing much insight and wisdom.
“What is it that makes tattoos so addictive?” – An interesting question Nicole, as I have never pondered on that at all. I had one small tattoo done in the late 1980’s, and as it was being done I promised myself I would never ever do that again. I had no regret having done it, but the discomfort of it all while it was being done was not worth it, I felt. Nowadays, having understood the reason why I did it in the first place, and realising that that reason holds no longer true for me, it is easy to go through the process of letting it go and removing it bit by bit.
We can become addicted to so many things… the synaptic pathways get opened up inside us with repetitive behaviours and we loose ourselves in these actions, it really is only self worth that re-builds the bridge back to ourselves.
If we were truly taught self worth at schools there would be no need for tattoos as our worthiness and own self love would never allow it.
This is so true Samantha, but unfortunately the tattoo parlours are growing in numbers along with the parents, and now grandparents partaking in tattooing. So what chance have children got without the reflection of wise role models.
When I think back to when I was considering getting a tattoo it was one of the darkest times of my life, I was looking for a distraction and unhappy with my image I felt I needed something else to prove who I was. Thankfully I didn’t have the money and never went through with it. I wanted one as I did not feel enough. I can see now that no amount of tattoos no mater how visually artistic they are will never heal lack of self worth they will only serve to bury the issue deeper.
It is so interesting to read that the image of tattooing in society is portrayed so differently to what you have experience here Nicole.
Yes nb this is such an insightful blog, it would be great to offer this as reading material in tattoo parlours!
Yes and in High School too. It might make such a difference to the choices these teenagers might be able to make then.
It’s the permanence of tattoos that make this form of addiction or self abuse stand out from the others. With a lack of self-worth one can be addicted to a plethora of things including drugs, food, game, porn, or simple things such as being addictive to self criticism. But the problem with a tattoo is that it leaves it lasting imprint forever, unless you choose to go down the path of removing it, which in itself is a long, costly, painful process.
It is so true that tattoos are addictive. Even though I only had 2 done, for many years after the last one I kept thinking about having another one, and kept trying to design them for myself. It was only since starting having Esoteric healing sessions that I dropped the idea completely, knowing that I would never want to abuse my body in that way again. It’s great the difference of a bit of self love can do.
I have two tattoos, both on my lower back. And I can clearly remember why I got them done. It was because I wanted more individuality. I wanted to be cool. I wanted to appear to be a bit of a rebel. I wanted to be more sexy. Now I can see them as a reminder of where I was at back then, and how far I have come in accepting, appreciating and loving the person that I actually am (who is very sexy without the need of a tattoo to be so) instead of striving to be something else.
I have never had a tattoo, but I have definitely used clothing and jewellery and the purchasing of it in an excessive manner to distract myself from the yuckiness I have felt inside. Sometimes it was an insatiable desire and it would feel like the only way to make myself feel better. It took a while to change my whole experience of cloth buying to something much more nurturing and supportive. The clothing may not be permanent like a tattoo but the dent in the in the savings and the disgust when I got the credit card bill definitely was.
A great blog, Nicole, at a time when getting a tattoo is the in thing to do, and as you have experienced people tend to get more and more once they have started. Perhaps a reflection of the lovelessness in our society, a society where we continue to need more and more highs to make us feel good about ourselves -anything will do as long as we do not have to feel. It is beautiful to feel where you have come to on your journey and that is to such a self loving place. This blog needs to be shared to a much wider audience!
The tattoo culture is an astounding phenomenon of this modern era that leaves us with very little places to go afterwards. I mean, there have always been extreme trends in the past that have involved abusive behaviours towards our bodies, but only now have these turned so permanent.
I just felt to come back to this blog and share what came to me on my first tattoo removal session. I found the process excruciatingly painful, very intense. I have 4 tattoos one of which is a very large one on my upper back. As I was laying there the only way I could bare the pain was to connect deeply to my inner essence. What came to me was no matter what happens to my body could never take away the purity I was inside. This was an incredible lived moment for me.
I so relate to your sharing Kim, I have had one tattoo removal session of one small tattoo so far, and I thought it would be just another thing I’d do. I was taken by surprise at the intensity of feeling that came up and the deep sadness a little later on my way home, that I had needed to do such a thing just to feel I would belong somewhere…
At what point does tattooing one’s body become known as self mutilation, and how do we rid our selves of the glamour that this is cool. In other words, how did self abuse become a fashion statement, a part of self identification, a way to gain attention. Tattoos are not in them selves the issue, they are a revealing fact of what is going on under the surface for many many people and society in general. Are we too checked out and numb on tv, games consoles, personal devices, social media and the internet to see what is really going on here?
Nicole, you describe that feeling of the excitement of the tattoo wearing off, and then you’re basically left with ‘just’ yourself again. This feeling is so common amongst everyone. I feel it all the time. With every dangling carrot I manage to finally catch, whether that be an item of clothing I’ve been saving up for, or something bigger like a car, or not even an item specifically, some kind of an ‘achievement’, I’m very soon after feeling quite underwhelmed.
This has absolutely everything to do with my lack of self worth, my lack of appreciation for myself….as I continue to look for the next thing that will fill that void, when really nothing will ever fill it more than my own self acceptance.
Like you the reasons people give for getting their tattoo never made sense to me either Elodie like ‘living in the now’ when a tattoo is so permanent. We all change the way we feel about things as part of learning and growing, the tattoo can hold us frozen in a moment in time. I can imagine myself wearing a T-shirt imprinted with something I was into in my twenties and having to wear that for my whole life, no way.
Great analogy Bernard – ” I can imagine myself wearing a T-shirt imprinted with something I was into in my twenties and having to wear that for my whole life, no way.” That really sums it up beautifully!
I’ve asked a few people what it is about tattoos that they are so attracted to and one of the main responses I got was ‘why not, you only live once, and so you should do what makes you happy’. And then asking if they thought about how they might feel about it years down the track the response was often that they hadn’t thought about it because it’s not about the future it’s about ‘living in the now’, along with the fact that now that laser removal is just as accessible as getting the tattoo itself, there is always the opportunity to have it ‘erased’ should there be a change of mind.
I think it’s like any bandwagon society jumps on, we do it partly because we can and think we can get away with it, whilst feeling as though it sets us apart from others, despite the fact that we are enjoining the others in the same rituals.
The addictive nature of having one tattoo, then another then another can be vividly strong. This is quite something to consider and great Nicole that you gave yourself a stop moment to ask yourself why is it so addictive.
I love that you expose tattoos here as ‘Something to hide behind’ Nicole. If there is something on your body that is pulling focus, the world doesn’t need to see you for who you truly are and/or the choices you are making. Similarly, the tattoo wearer can don the tattoo like a mask as an image to present to the world rather than a self they themselves might not know or be in touch with.
Many people I know who have had one tattoo also go back for more and more – interestingly I have also seen a tattoo studio which is also offering the laser removal service. Although many more people are getting tattoos, there are a growing number who are choosing to have them removed too.
It is rather ironic that a choice to have them done can take just a hour depending on the type of tattoo and the choice to have them taken off can take years and years. It is therefore very wise to truly consider what the implications are before going ahead and the real reason as to why we do not think we are enough in the first place.
Tatoos have their own fashion wave. It was and perhaps is totally ‘ in ‘ to have a tatoo done and with this to feel accepted and as a member of a certain group, the tatoo wearers. As such people get recognition for the art on their body, They feel special because they have a tatoo. That a tatoo is harming to the body nobody is talking about. To get more understanding of the harming tatoos are doing sharings like you have done , Nicole, are important.
Thank you Nicole for sharing, I have 2 tattoos that I am feeling to get removed, I got mine because someone I looked after and was caring for decided to get some so I went along.
I was really shocked to learn that the imprint of the artist is still in my body, it is time for a removal.
And how extraordinary it is too now to know that we do not own The drawing that is on our own body… But the Tatoo artist has the copyright for the artwork… We are actually owned by the tattooist…… How scary is that.
Aghhhhh!!! Wow, Chris, I hadn’t even considered that!!
Yes Chris it is like the Tattoo artist owns part of you as you are forever imprinted with their energy, whatever they are into is in you. From reading Nicole’s blog it seems that to get a tattoo there must be some form of low self-esteem. So you are right Chris it is pretty scary, but if you deal with your low self esteem you will have nothing to fear.
True indeed Bernard – by dealing with our issues that promote us to do things we, when truly connected to our self, would never do, nothing really can touch us in that way again.
This is a great blog to read Nicole. I have two tattoos and i’m currently in the middle of the laser treatment to remove them. I got my tattoos from a definite belief systems and it has been amazing and so very healing to feel how much investment I had in these beliefs – neither of them are true of the real me. Tattoos are gaining popularity and really have become an acceptable fashion accessory for many women now as well as men – all I know is that they bring focus to the outer and not the true inner self.
When it comes to numbing we have so many choices same goes for addiction. We can become addicted to anything some things are just conceded more healthy choices than others and are more socially acceptable so are less hidden. When I think about it I was addicted to beating myself up I only ever got one tattoo and that was when I was 17 and back then it really wasn’t acceptable for a female and once I sobered up a few years later I had it removed but always could find plenty of other reasons to beat myself up and hate myself. It wasn’t until I discovered Universal Medicine and listened to the teaching of Serge Benhayon that I truly discovered the meaning of self-love and self-care but still that was only in my head for a long time because my body was so numb I couldn’t really feel anything much and if I did I wasn’t able to connect to it for very long before I went back into my hardness. The gentle breath meditation supported me along with sessions with esoteric practitioners as I healed my hurts and was able to embody the knowledge I had learnt about self-care and self-love and I choice to discover and re-connect to who I truly am. Every day I deepen my connection with the sensitive, fragile, delicate and tender woman I. in the past they were words I could not even say about myself years ago let alone feel in my body.
It never ceases to amaze me at huge range of different addictions humanity uses to numb and hide from the issues that are going on within them, but then, as I can see clearly that very few of us have been raised to be able to express and heal our hurts and not carry them with us, it actually makes sense. Getting a tattoo was never even a consideration for me; I could never understand why someone would want to disfigure their beautiful skin. Now understanding the depth of pain that we all carry from unresolved issues I can see why tattoos are becoming so addictive and considered such a normal thing to do, but this is one normal that I would really love to see re-defined.
Tattoos have become so much the norm in recent years that one is never enough. Are tattoos being used as a way to be noticed or a way to hide so that others only see the outer decoration and not the person within?
‘I see now that I was using tattoos as a way to hide my body and myself, and as a form of protection.’ I love your honesty with this. I can definitely relate to hiding and hiding my body but I’ve done it through clothing or manipulating my weight. (Interesting that tattoos covering the whole arm are called sleeves.)
I can wear comfort clothes – clothes I know hide me so I go unnoticed. Or clothes I wear that support me to be me in my day. The clothes may not be very different but the intention behind wearing them is and can definitely be felt by me. One I feel the choice to dull myself so I continue to feel drab and ugly whereas the other celebrates me 🙂
It is incredible that when we make simple and sustainable loving choices towards ourselves, things that are unloving in our lives are so much easier to drop. I love this approach as rather than the hardened way of trying to fix and change things, focusing on living lovingly is much more enjoyable and is a transformer.
Absolutely Shevon, it is a win win situation all the way.
The lines – ‘to know that I am what is within – and it is that beauty within that is now able to shine, without the need for any form of fashion accessory or tattoo.’ really stood out for me as I read them. It feels to me that as a society we have totally forgotten this or are choosing not to be aware. How many of our behaviours, pursuits and choices are simply because of the fact that we do not appreciate the true beauty we all hold within us equally so?
Very few people who get tattoos will ever stop and get honest like you have about what lay beneath your intention to get one. Whether they fool you into accepting yourself, or distract you from how you really feel about your body, or act as a protective barrier so people do not see the real you… your choice to connect to these and then commit to learning to love and accept who you are without them, is truly extraordinary and will surely inspire others to contemplate what lies beneath their own. Awesome.
I have always had an aversion to tattoos and thought they disfigured a person’s body but I didn’t understand why I felt so strongly about it. Serge Benhayon has presented on the imposition on a body by having a tattoo and the controlling energy that comes with this. I still feel sad when I see a person imprinted with tattoos but I now understand why.
I often see young children come into the supermarket with fake tattoos on their arms or legs and I wonder how much this will influence them to get one when they are older. These children are already seeing tattoos as a fashion statement and the more we see this as an acceptable every day occurrence the more likely people are to have them. Your blog Nicole is great at exposing the more in depth reason why people are getting hooked on having tattoos .
It is so clear Nicole, with what you have shared, how common it is for us to abuse our bodies though our lack of self-worth or self-acceptance. That when we do abuse our bodies we separate ourselves further away from appreciating how gorgeous we truly are. And that this abuse becomes an addiction as a means to distract us from the truth that we are avoiding to feel. But what is truly amazing is that who we are within is always waiting for us to return to no matter how far we have roamed, it is always with us. You beautifully have shared how through choosing to be honest, re-connecting to and honoring your loveliness within we can make loving choices that support us living all the love that we, in truth are.
It appears in the past a tattoo had a purpose whether it be for identification of a clan, medicinal purpose, spiritual tradition many many reasons, it’s still happening today but now it has become a multi- billion dollar industry that has taken it away from cultural tradition, or an individual expression. Now we are seeing everyone getting tattoos to be part of a trend which feels very empty and devoid of connection to the body being tattooed.
Tattoos feel like mutilation – so it makes sense Nicole when you are linking the reason for getting them to self-worth. I always wanted one in my twenties – it felt like it was to feel empowered, to feel somebody, to say to the world, “I’m something now.” Which means before I felt I wasn’t something. It was a desperate attempt at expressing – but the expression feels distorted, and so very, very hard. Like you Nicole, now I know the empowerment is expressing me; accepting who I am and developing a true sense of confidence is the most empowering and gorgeous feeling I’ve ever felt. And simply expressing me requires no pain to be experienced.
I always thought that people who got tattoos were wanting attention, to stand out but I can now see that people can hide behind them also.
Beautifully expressed and shared Nicole, your experience of getting tattoos, the reasons why, and your choice to have them removed makes for informative reading. Thank you for sharing, this is a topic that needs exposure, as the addictiveness of tattooing is alarming, and it is as equally harmful to the body as any other addiction. That fact that it is not seen as such adds to the need for greater exposure of this insidious practice.
Great that you have written a blog on the feeling of addiction that you felt. I have asked others in the past whether they felt this as I did, and they have all related to the feeling as addictive. The girl I went with when we got our tattoos went straight back and got another … it is interesting how for some they feel to cover their bodies and others stop at one. For me, getting a tattoo was about smashing my vulnerability and was also part of wanting to harm the body, along with alcohol and other substances at the time.
I too felt the addiction for more tattoos after the first one. I had planned a couple more because there was a real high after the first. Despite getting a bluebird carrying a love heart —- I felt tough and harder in my body. I would show the world that they couldn’t touch me – yes, with a bluebird! (makes me laugh now … ).
I didn’t get any more tattoos after the first, the buzz wore off and I was on to the next distraction, avoiding how I was feeling inside.
I find it interesting to see where people place their tattoos. I developed a grissle like feeling in the area right next to where mine was placed and I would feel incredible pain in this area from time to time.
Thank you Nicole, I have asked many people why they got their tattoo, and I was surprised that they could not answer or did not really know themselves. This blog asks us to unravel the mystery of why? Everyone may have different reasons but I feel lack of self-acceptance has to be part of it.
Bernard I feel that’s true, lack of self acceptance and I suspect underlying that is not even knowing who they are and a searching for identity.
We often see people appearing to ooze confidence – but what is really going on?
I remember when I used to work in the theatre giving treatments to lots of apparently confident and highly successful people and I remember times when I too have been, from an outside point of you, deemed very confident but this is, for the most part, only a veneer. Deep down, and sometimes not so deep down, until we heal our hurts, we are all hurting and not very confident at all. Building self worth by beginning to truly care for oneself, has to be the way to begin to build a confidence that is true.
I have heard from others how addictive tattoos are, and now have much more understanding of this. I wanted a tattoo for a long time then one day my feelings changed and I was so thankful I never followed through with it. I can feel now I was looking to add to, to spruce up my body in some way.
I have heard a lot of people talk about getting tattoo’s and how it becomes an addiction that once you have one you want more. Someone once described it to me as a stress release- that when they were all stressed they would go and get a tattoo and the pain of that took away their focus on other things. They too described it as being like a drug addiction, needing another tattoo to get the next hit.
How sad that tattoos have become a fashion accessory.
Your blog was very informative and I enjoyed reading about your experiences, knowledge and wisdom with tattoos.
I have watched as one of my daughters goes through the very painful process of removing her tattoos!
Hopefully this fashion accessory becomes obsolete sooner rather than later.
Thank you Nicole for your interesting blog. I have always wondered why people would want to have tattoos all over their body and your explanation makes a lot of sense to me.
I remember feeling that I wanted a tattoo, a small one, to adorn my foot or the side of my body… mainly from seeing other women who I felt were ‘cool’ and confident who had such tattoos. I never went ahead with it as I knew it would be permanent.. and painful. Though as a young woman growing up, I was forever looking at other women and if they looked funky and confident in what they were wearing, I would try to copy it. This insidious comparison has remained with me into my thirties! Although now I am aware of it and can see that I was simply attracted to the confidence they expressed, and it had nothing to do with the clothes or adornments. Instead I now choose to focus my attention on confirming and appreciating MY gorgeousness, just as I am. And I appreciate all women for the gorgeousness they are, being inspired by them rather than feeling less next to them.
I didn’t realize that tattoos were an addiction but it makes sense as another way we use to mask how we feel. Awesome Nicole to present it so clearly from your experience, that the issue about re-building self worth.
That tattoos are addictive, was a real eye-opener for me… But of course it makes sense. I still get a shock when I see what people have done to their bodies, sometimes out of the corner of my eye when I see them they feel like a fungus or a mould or something similar that is spread over someone’s body, but then I see they are a tattoo. And then to observed trends in films where they are becoming more and more prominent on the actors bodies. As Nicole says, whatever the reason, it will wear off, but the tattoo wont.
I got a tattoo because of very low self esteem and a lack of connection with myself as a woman – and thus bringing a level of self harm and disfigurement to my breast. I was living in lots of disregard at the time, had just stopped taking drugs and was looking to distract my self in any way I could from the emptiness I felt inside.
Reading and reading and reading this blog and the comments for quite some time now, I have finally come to accept that I have been hanging on to my little tattoo, which I have had now for 25 years, which was done then as a sign of perceived brotherhood with a particular group of people, word wide. The ‘need’ to belong was that big. Now, having stepped into more and more of who I truly am, feeling the delicateness that I am and the love within me, and having a new marker for true brotherhood through the teachings of Universal Medicine, Serge Benhayon and his family, as well as connecting with the student body of Universal Medicine world wide, I am finally ready to let go of this tattoo – first appointment for tattoo removal is next week …
What we consider as normal, fashionable or expected is an indicator of where we are at a society.
To encourage people to push their bodies at sport.
To drink alcohol, caffeine, overeat.
To have tattoos.
Sugar addictions.
Pornography.
All these activities are self harming and expose our lack of self worth as a global epidemic. We are all affected.
Well, as I write this I am sitting with a bag of frozen peas on my shoulder and forearm, having just had my first laser treatment to have my tattoos removed. It is something that I have been thinking about for a long time, but the impulse was re-ignited by this blog. It will take about 8 months to complete the process, but I am so glad to have started this! Thank you for the re-inspiration!
Hi Naren,
Can I ask what you felt as you had your first laser tattoo removal session? It would be great to share this with others who may be considering it. I know a person who could feel the lack of confidence they had at the time of choosing a tattoo to decorate their ankle. They were amazed how all those feelings were still stuck there, buried under the art. For me, doing massages on this person over the time of the removal, it was amazing to feel the heaviness around this ankle lift over time until it felt very light and free.
Naren, how timely was this blog for you then. The tattoo removal process for me started a few years ago and I have noticed how different each session has been. The first was the most intense, because of the energy that was there, but this has all but dissipated. It was so easy to get one on, and the process of its removal has shown me the responsibility we have in all that we do and to care for ourselves deeply. Just a few more removal sessions to go, but what an awesome process of reclaiming me.
As our bodies are markers of all truth and so what we do to our bodies show where we were at a point in time, your writing on this subject allows us to ponder why we allow ourselves to imprint our body with something that is not true.
Your realisation and journey of self is a huge revelation to all about why we do not question the need for a tattoo, for if we truly did question we would feel the underlying issue that we are covering up.
Thank you for sharing.
I have only just discovered that the tattoo you get on you doesn’t actually belong to you – it belongs to the tattoo artist – your body belongs to another person because they have the rights to the design. If you want to be part of a film etc, their permission has to be sought – how crazy is that?
I just read that the other day too Rebecca, the tattoo artist owns the copy right to the tattoo he has done on another persons’ body. So if that person wants to be in a movie or photo shoot he has to get a signed release form from the artist…certainly exposes the evil of tattoos and how nutty life is getting.
What’s even crazier and in fact more sinister than that is that the tattoo artist is forever linked to each and every person that they tattooed via the tattoo. So when we get a tattoo we are infiltrated energetically by the tattoo artist for the remainder of our life. The other very worrying thing that they have just discovered by doing autopsies on people with tattoos is that the ink in tattoos doesn’t stay in the tattoo, it bleeds into the rest of the body, including the organs.
Isn’t it incredible the things we do to our body? it all makes so much sense when we feel into the underlying issues we were trying at the time to mask and the reasoning we came up with as to why and on what body part we chose to get tattoos. It all makes so much sense now that we know the truth about tattoos. Thanks to Serge Benhayon and the teachings of universal medicine.
What is our skin? It is our largest organ that forms a boundary between our inside and our outside. When we are feeling vital, healthy and good about ourselves, it radiates the light within. When we are feeling depleted, unhealthy and have low self-esteem our skin looks dull and lifeless and quite literally like someone has turned down the light. The point here is that our outer always emanates what is or isn’t happening within.
So what is at play when we seek to cover this skin with ink? What are we protecting by wanting ink to seep into us and penetrate deeply into our layers of skin so that we have a shield of ink visible to all?
I recently heard something that shocked me: that you cannot be filmed in the US without the tattooist’s permission because you are displaying their artwork and they have copyright. When we get a tattoo we think we are buying someone’s artwork, but really we are selling little pieces of ourselves to be owned by another, for fear of being seen in all our ‘naked’ glory.
It’s so common for us to think of our body as purely something to decorate and look good on the outside. When we think this way we miss out on the depth of awareness and information that is available through our bodies. Our bodies tell us so much about what they like and what they don’t like, and they guide us through life. If we are in touch with this how could we possibly go ahead and have a tattoo and choose that amount of pain, not to mention then living with the imprint of the tattoo artist forever in our body? We do indeed have to be out of touch with ourselves to have a tatoo.
The addictive nature of tattoos is something that has always fascinated me. Although I have not been stamped myself, for most of my life I wanted to be but just could not follow through with doing it. And so I would watch my friends and partners surrender their bodies to the ink and once stamped in this way, would be immediately hooked and already designing and fantasising about the next one. ‘What are they putting in those things?’ was the question on my lips.
When we do not claim who we truly are, we leave ourselves wide open to be claimed by what we are not. That is, we separate from ourselves and hence each other and in that separation we immediately register the disconnection and thus sense a longing to belong again. Tattoos are but one of the many offerings to help fill this ‘void’ but the catch is that in order to ‘belong’ again, you first have to sign over ‘who you are’ for ‘who you are not’. Therefore, the sense of belonging/identification you then achieve is sheer illusion and once under this spell, you are forever thirsty for more – thus the addiction begins.
“When we do not claim who we truly are, we leave ourselves wide open to be claimed by what we are not” – this is such a truth Liane. It is as simple as you say. And in that, it appears there are many who have chosen not to claim all that they are … I was one, but not anymore.
When I was a teenager, it was ear piercing, not tattoos that was the ‘why wouldn’t you?’ issue of the day. So I went along with it. In fact it was a compulsion to get it done, to fit in, be cool – sheer pubescent peer pressure and fashion fad partnering with my low self-esteem. Years later I know if I were to rewind, I’d choose to leave my ear lobes well alone – more than enough as they are. Your article serves as a reminder of the blind acceptance we have at an impressionable age of things we may well come to regret as permanent fixtures in later years.
With tattoos now so widely accepted throughout so many communities and even now having a place among popular culture, I wonder how children are learning to think about and to perceive their bodies.
Good point, and they start with sticky ones or traanparents to decorate their body …. first steps then to leading getting a real one as it is ‘normal’…
I am of an age when tattoos were only seen on bikies, and they were never considered to be cool. Reading your blog Nicole It became clear that what is considered ugly the next day can be the latest trend. Your awareness around why you got tattoos is very enlightening, hiding and protection, as it goes deeper than the superficial trend, and casts light on the lack of self respect that many feel. I had not understood the addictive nature of tattoos, but you have explained that very clearly. Your choice to return to your loveliness and natural beauty is inspiring Nicole.
Yesterday I was lying in the park with a friend and we observed that there are more people with tattoos than without. What is happening? It seems like hardly anyone asks this question as having a tattoo is the new normal and they are everywhere. The moment we stop asking questions and have discussions like this thanks to this great blog, we allow things in life as normal while when we take a moment to stop and think about it, it is not natural nor normal at all.
For me it was definitely about having something ‘cool’ that I could brag about. It was something that most people would look at and think was great. I didn’t really feel worthy within myself so attention for a tattoo was awesome to have a ‘topic’ to talk about and the feeling like I must have been brave.
I had also many ideas and beliefs around not being enough. I use to hide behind my cloths, hair and makeup. I never got the courage to do tattoos, which I am so grateful for now. Once I came to understand the beauty is within and started to let go of the ideas and beliefs I was holding on too, the true beauty within me started to shine out. It has always been their just got buried as I was growing up. Now I can connect to the beauty within me all the time.
Yes how crazy that everyone’s body is already unique and different in how it moves and what quality of energy we express, and instead of accepting and deepening this we consider ourselves somehow plain, inadequate or not distinguishable from another person.. hence we scar our body to assert our individualism. Perhaps the nakedness we feel is not about our body at all but an emptiness that we carry as a result of living disconnected from our unique expression and essence.
From your comment Sarah, I began to feel how tattoos cover our nakedness, like it is wanting to stop the light that we are from shining through the gorgeous transparency of our skin. This is making more and more sense to me now.
I spoke to a friend who is having her tattoos removed, and it was interesting to hear how much she used to identify with them. In the summer weather, it is amazing how many tattoos are revealed and how common they are. How common it is for people to seek recognition from something and perhaps it reveals something about our society – perhaps what we are lacking a connection to ourselves.
I often wonder if given the choice again how many would return to have tattoos. Most people I talk to deeply regret getting them done. This is a great blog for anyone contemplating getting one. Thank you Nicole.
Nicole, I was touched by your honesty as to why you had come to tattoo yourself, and the honesty you have come to in order to have them removed, which I am sure is not a pleasant procedure. Lovely that you are now reconnected to your beautiful body.
How lovely to read your self acceptance of your body now and seeing your true self behind the mask that the tattoo’s created for you. Claiming back the beautiful women in her natural state.
“I see now that I was using tattoos as a way to hide my body and myself, and as a form of protection” – Nicole, thank you for making this point, I had not ever considered that a tattoo would be a form of protection. It’s ironic isn’t it, that something that draws attention to ourselves is used as a form of protection, and what are we protecting, or hiding from in the first place? Then it came to me that maybe what people see is the tattoo, not the person underneath, and that is what we are hiding, our real selves, and the delicate, fragile, tender nature that we are.
Reading your comment has given me the realisation that this is no different than teenagers who dress in the Goth type clothing, or in fact the clothes and makeup we wear, as all can provide us with a place to hide.
Thank-you for sharing that fact Otto, as I did not know that. So they don’t own their tattoo but it owns them, cementing in the hardness and ill feelings they are not wanting to look at through the tattoo’s picture and their chosen expression of it. It seems no different to being branded like an animal, except tattoos come with the glamour and wow factor of the pictures that they choose and it is then called, art. Not something their naturally tender bodies would want to choose if it could talk.
Many years ago I did consider having a tattoo and the one thing that stopped me, was the thought of the pain I would go through and I often look at the tattoos on others and you can tell they would have hurt enormously, especially as some are in very delicate places on the body.
To me this was no different than having my ears pierced by a darning needle and a bar of soap in my aunties kitchen at the age of twelve, so that we didn’t have to pay the shop prices. I remember I only went through with it to prove that I wasn’t a cry baby, because I was always being teased for being over sensitive. It just shows what we are willing to put our bodies through.
Thank you for the power of your honesty and humility. As many have shared it would be amazing for those considering getting tattooed to read your words. Actually, that got me thinking. I remember when I had a vasectomy – which is an invasive and irreversible alteration to my body, I was required to have counselling to ensure that I wanted to have the procedure. I was really impressed by this – it felt very supportive. Having a tattoo is an invasive and irreversible alteration to our bodies, thus should counselling not also be a requirement before the procedure – and if so, your blog should be part of that counselling. The irony to me feels that people will say they can do what they like with their bodies – yet, by getting a tattoo it is becoming further and further from ‘their’ body.
And, to prove that last fact about it “no longer being their body”….I work as a film and television director and we are often employing background extras to populate our worlds. If they have tattoos, and we are going to see the tattoos on screen, they have to have a clearance form from the artist of the tattoo because, legally, they don’t own that tattoo. It is on their body for the whole of their lives, but they don’t actually own it!!!
Thank-you for sharing that fact Otto, as I did not know that. To me it then seems like many don’t own their tattoo but it owns them, which may result in cementing or avoiding the hardness and ill feelings that are not wanting to be felt. Tattoos often come with the glamour and wow factor of the pictures chosen and it is then called, art. Not something that naturally tender bodies might choose if they could talk.
That’s a good point Julie, Perhaps having a tattoo means a feeling of safety, and to not stand out in all our glory, hence the wanting to hide behind a tattoo.
That fact Otto, just makes the whole tattoo craze even more crazy.
Otto your sharing has exposed the truth behind ownership of any tattoo. A reminder that although the tattoo was placed on a persons body they still don’t own it.
A very revealing fact Otto that a tattoo is always owned by whoever imprinted this into your body. It is like they have copyright over where you go and what you do. If a person chooses to have many tattoos by several different tattooists they will struggle to know who they are as they dance to the tune of so many others.
Tattoos being owned by the artist reminds me of sports stars wearing advertising during a game. The wearer thinks they are getting something out of it for themselves but they are actually being used to promote something in society for the company.
I remember at about the age of 15 or 16 I wanted to get a butterfly or bluebird tattooed on one of my shoulder blades. This was at a time when tattoos where usually seen on bikies and their girlfriends. It was a symbol that was connected with roughness and making yourself look scary to others. It is interesting in this case I was drawn to a very delicate image and wanted it on a very delicate part of my body. I didn’t go through with it because I knew once I committed it would be with me forever and who knows what I would choose for myself later in life! Fast forward to where I am today, a woman who has dealt with a lot of her self worth and self loathing issues. I am at a point where I am learning to appreciate just how delicate and precious I am. I find it fascinating to reflect that the images I would have chosen to tattoo myself with back when I was 15 or 16 and where on my body I would have tattooed them where symbols of what I wanted to feel and honour. Stamping my body with them wasn’t going to change a thing, it was up to me to find a way to connect to this innate beauty in me and allow that to emmanate from within me. Now that I know what I know about tattoos I could very well have chosen something to be impressed into my body that kept me further from the truth about myself I had felt back then … Makes me realise what a clever hook tattoos are and how wise I was to say No to it. It is a lot harder to do this in this day and age as it is considered quite normal to be tattooed and you are more of a freak if you don’t have one! Wow!
Thank-you Nicole for sharing so intimately with us. I do not have any tattoos myself but work in an industry where tattooing is rife and most certainly an addiction. The strangest part to be witness to is how often I hear people describe the pain of receiving a tattoo and that it was not really what they asked for, that they felt violently ill during the process and after. And I have seen whole limbs and areas of the body dramatically inflame and swell, clearly indicating discomfort and infection in the body, yet this is all championed as being a part of what is cool about having a tattoo. It is the most bizarre practise that any one would willing choose to put their body in trauma like that.
I’ve observed mostly in women that in later life they really regret having tattoos – covering up with embarrassment the very thing that caused such debate/excitement/acknowledgement in that time period of their lives. My numbing out was not to use tattoos but could of been equally as imprinting which was to use food, sport and excessive work routines to hide behind. At some point in our lives the reality of how we have lived comes face to face with us and then the big choice of how we work alongside this to either support our own healing or, continue to live in a way that conceals the amazingness of who we truly are. Such a beautiful sharing with us all Nicole thank you.
I hope people contemplating getting tattoos get a chance to read your blog and just weigh up whether they have self worth or body issues. I’ve often wondered why people put something so permanent on themselves and your blog answered some of those questions. Once upon a time it was a game for bikers, criminals and merchant sailors; so when did we decide it was body art? It is mad the cross section of people that have them nowadays, it seems no type of person is left untouched by this craze.
I don’t have any tattoos and have been so fascinated and puzzled to watch the increase in people getting them. Your article provides and very interesting insight into some of the choices surround the decision to get a tattoo.
The quote “Looking back I can see that this addiction to tattoos was very similar to other addictions I used to keep me numbed to feeling what really was going on, and from how I was truly feeling; things such as alcohol, marijuana, shopping or over-working.” With so many other addictive behaviors on the increase in makes sense that tattoos would also be on the increase.
Love this blog Nicole. I have two tattoos and I know why I got them. One symbolised a lost childhood and the other symbolised the type of mother I thought I had to be – ideals and beliefs that I am working my way through, which includes the removal of both tattoos – I am halfway through that process now. Whilst it has been extremely painful physically and emotionally, the letting go of stuff stopping me from feeling me has been an amazing experience, and it continues to be 🙂
I am with you on that on jane176, so many times I have caught myself using my body posture to protect and keep the world out, and when I feel I am doing that, and correct my posture as you say, it makes a huge difference to how I am feeling. It’s like I have just opened a window inside myself and let my light out.
Thank you for sharing this Nicole. It is a very powerful statement and reflection that looking outside of ourselves to find something external to mitigate any feelings of dis-harmony within ourselves will give short-term relief and never fully satisfy us. The only answer, as you have discovered and shared, is already within us – that we are already truly beautiful and are enough within ourselves without the need for any external adornments.
‘I see now that I was using tattoos as a way to hide my body and myself, and as a form of protection.’ Although I have never had a tattoo I have used other ways to hide my body and protect myself. One of the main ones has been to roll my shoulders inwards, hunching forwards to protect my chest. So many of us use our body posture to protect ourselves and keep the world out. How different it feels when we lift our head up and roll our shoulders outwards, opening ourselves to the world around us.
Can definitely relate to this jane176 and have consequently had years of back issues because of trying to use my body posture as a form of protection. What crazy behaviour is that? Harming myself in order to try protect myself and it didn’t even work!
Thank you Nicole for bringing such awareness around the subject of tattoos. As the tattooing trend has been taking off at an alarming rate recently with ‘sleeves’ being desired by teenagers as the next fashion trend – I heard this from a friend’s teenage son recently. It’s great to be starting this discussion and exploring the consequences and effects of tattooing, and what impulses us to get a tattoo.
It is growing at an alarming rate indeed. Especially now with the summer time and everybody wearing less clothes, it feels like everybody has tattoos. They have become more extreme and whole body areas are covered. But what are we in fact covering up? Why do we need so many tattoos? Great questions and great discussion in a time where there is a tattoo plague going on and we all seem to think that it is normal.
I fully agree, Jenny, great that the subject is opened. It is very alarming that it has become a normal thing to harm the body by placing one or many tattoos, this is clearly getting so out of hand and it is time for awareness around the reasons why people want to have them in the first place.
Thank you Nicole. While I have no tattoos, I can absolutely relate to using clothes for example to cover up my body so that I don’t have to deal with the fact that I do not love it. It’s extremely sad to feel the level of rejection I have and have had for myself and really makes me realise how harming that is. This rejection is slowly shifting in other areas, but appreciating my physical body seems to be a tough one to crack. A work in progress none the less..
I always had an aversion to tatoos because they portrayed a tough image and there did not appear to be anything gentle about them. The other thing that concerned me was how permanent they were and that surely there would come a time when they would think differently. What then!
It is amazing the things we have done to ourselves to numb it from feeling that we are not enough. The list is impressive; drugs, alcohol, self abuse, shopping and body alterations/enhancements and there is as many more as there is excuses why we believe we are not enough. I have two small tattoos that I did myself 40 years ago, that combines a few on the list, why do one when you do lots at the same time. I look at them now as a marker of where I have come from and like bad choices in the past, with their consequences that manifested in physical scars. Self-acceptance is a whole lot easier way to live.
I love the honesty in your article, which stops to ask some pertinent questions about tattoos. Like ‘was it possible that tattoos fooled me into believing that I accepted myself? Or did they allow me to focus on something else on my body other than my body itself?’ Also how we use tattoos to numb ourselves from what we are really feeling .. Just like shopping. What you say here should be common n knowledge for all ‘Tattoos are not something that we should take lightly, they leave behind an imprint in the body that causes more damage than that which anyone at this point has stopped to consider or feel.’ and what many young people should know. You can buy tattoo kits online now .. which I know some young people that have done this and then practice on each other! Really crazy.
What I appreciate most about this blog is Nicole’s loving commitment to herself. I get a sense of Nicole letting go of the tattoos and accepting them as part of her journey has not been easy yet she never gave up… I find this truly inspiring. I am learning too, to accept my past choices that have not been loving and to see them as no less in relation to the self-loving choices I am making today. Thank you Nicole for sharing your journey on tattoos.
What I have learnt in getting my tattoo removed was that I was wanting the tattoo because of very low self esteem and a lack of connection with myself as a woman – and thus brining a level of self harm and disfigurement to my breast. I was living in lots of disregard at the time, had just stopped taking drugs and was looking to distract my self in any way I could from the emptiness I felt inside. I hated my breasts and instead of getting support with this I mutilated them by getting a tattoo
Mary Louise what you share here and many of the other women is so touching, it is amazing to think that there are so many people struggling with this relationship with their bodies.
It is great to read a blog on tattoos as I have never had one and couldn’t understand what the attraction was. I realize how judgemental I have been. Nicole’s blog has offered me this understanding of why so many people choose to have tattoos and how this can be addictive which I hadn’t recognized before. This addiction is indeed no different to me indulging in sadness or to exercise in the form of yoga, filling the emptiness of not feeling enough. It is beautiful to read how Nicole has claimed herself ”I accept and appreciate the body I have, no matter how it may look, and know that I could never become addicted to tattoos again” – Awesome!
This part about having something else on your body to focus on rather your actual body is very interesting and makes me wonder how many times I have done this, not with tattooing, but with other elements in my life and about my body – to set up something that takes me away from being in the reality of the present moment. And then I ask myself why would I do that? And the answer that comes is because with out a deep respect for myself as a person, anything goes as far as living in distraction and dis-connected from the body I live in.
I am sure there will come a time when people will look back incredulously and ask why we tattooed ourselves. For whatever reason we may have on the surface – to rebel, to look cool etc – it will always come back to not appreciating who we are and our preciousness that is super tender.
As i have begun to read deeper into your blog Nicole i have realised that tattoos are a confirmation of humanities veneration of the material world, like a cemented refusal to see beyond the skin, to stay seated in the temporal world.
At the time when I was playing with the idea of getting a tattoo 20 years ago, I could feel that I wanted to have (and be) something special that would raise people´s attention. Luckily I could never decide on an image I would have really liked but mainly I felt that I would not like to hurt my body. It was not with the understanding, self-love and self-care I know today, but there was a sense in me alive enough to let me choose wisely. Even when we are unaware of certain things and even make choices that harm us there is always the inner knowing of what is true and what is not. The question is how much we are willing to listen and sometimes we have to learn it the hard way and live with the consequences.
Why do people get there bodies disfigured by have tattoos. Do they have think that no body cares about them, or that they have no self worth in life.
Having met some lovley people with tattoos in all sort of place on their bodies, when asking why, no one has a true answer to why they have done it.
I am sure if God had wished us to disfigure our bodies, he would have made us differently, or the best one I have heard, if God wished us to smoke, he would have put a chimney on our heads.
There is no need for disfiguring ourselves, we are just as beautiful and gorgeous as the day we were born.
Thanks Toni, Great to read your exploration of a deeper understanding or tattoos for your personal experience. I have often looked at a tattoo and wondered how such a permanent statement can be made and imposed on oneself. So the actual picture seemed never to be that important. I have felt however that the really arty and colourful ones are more harming for some reason – like the pride of the tattooer and the wearer blocking or dulling the natural vibrance of the physical body.
The fact that the ‘glow’ of having a new tattoo wears off as you describe Nicole, and you are left with a feeling of unworthiness or lack of acceptance is a great reminder for me to feel into why I may be reaching for some food activity or relationship. Is it because I have a need that I am trying to fill, and if so when and where did I lose that connection to myself and my heart which is always full.
Whilst I have never had a tattoo, there have been so many things and people in my life that I have been attracted to. You make a great point Nicole as never once did I stop and ask myself why. This asking ourselves why is really important as now often when I stop to ask myself ‘Why I want to do x. y, z’ and more importantly how does it feel to do x. y, z – I often have an answer and clarity that is very different to the surface attraction and one that feels more authentic. That pause to ask why can often stop us in our tracks and prevent us going down a path that will be destructive.
‘Why I want to do x. y, z’ and more importantly how does it feel to do x. y, z’ Great questions Shevon which as you say can, if we are prepared to be honest, prevent us embarking on a self-destructive path.
You have beautifully presented here Nicole a perspective for those contemplating a tattoo to consider, and to have an open and honest look at why they feel their body needs this – “to realise that I am not the clothes I wear nor the hairstyle I have – to know that I am what is within – and it is that beauty within that is now able to shine, without the need for any form of fashion accessory or tattoo.” is gold!
Before it was presented to me that a tattoo carries the energetic quality of the life lived by the tattoo artist I hadn’t even thought about this. In fact, before attending Universal Medicine presentations I hadn’t even thought about the fact that our quality and way of living is in everything we then do. And yet as soon as it was presented to me, I remember thinking, “that is so true”, of course it has to be that way, it makes absolute sense”. What this then makes me question is what else am I not aware of? And then the big one – so how am I living that is stopping me feel these truths for myself?
I absolutely agree Vicky. I too was ignorant to the fact that everything is because of energy and it wasn’t until I was introduced to Universal Medicine that I began to understand this. It made absolute sense to me too. I love the questions Vicky presents here as they deepen my level of responsibility in that it comes down to me as to whether I feel truth or not by the choices I make in every single moment. Being present with myself in everything I do without perfection is key and this comment is a great reminder.
Coming back to this blog and reading the comments after what I feel to be one of the last tattoo removal sessions, I can relate to almost every story in that why I chose to get one, what to get, where to put it etc. But what I considered this morning before the session was that the tattoo was not ever me, it was a mark, a covering on top of me. It was a physical mark of the covers I had emotionally already placed upon myself which, because these layers were already in place the choice to physically mark myself was not questioned, it was just another layer to put on. Looking back at it all today, all the sessions I had to remove it over these last two years I had times where I felt those emotional layers coming to the surface, but now all I am left with is what I started with – me.
When I was pondering on my tattoo recently and asking myself why I got it in the first place it was confronting to feel that at the time I was in so much self-loathing that I wanted to harm myself. My tattoo, which I am in the process of getting removed, is on my left breast. It was as if I wanted to mutilate my breast and to prove to myself that there was no value in connecting as a woman, given our breasts are our nurturing centres and an innate part of our body as a woman. This realisation, even though quite shocking, has been deeply healing and makes sense as to why my tattoo has taken so many treatments (much more then the average) to be removed.
This is a great question. I feel the de-sensitization in our society is huge. We find all manner of ways to numb ourselves from feeling what is actually happening in our bodies and we distract ourselves with endless activities not to feel what is happening to us on all but a superficial level. When are we going to realise that in order to have quality in our life well into old age and not become senile or demented we need to wake up and begin to become aware of what we are truly doing to ourselves? And where are those companies that are truly supporting us in healthy and vital life-style choices?
“No matter how many tattoos I had, once the thrill and excitement of my new tattoo wore off, I was left with the same old feeling of worthlessness, a lack of respect for and acceptance of myself”. It does not matter if it is tattoos, drugs, sport, food, sex or anything else, they all become addictions if we do not love and value ourselves. Nothing can satisfy that yearning for fulfilment other than the re-connection to our Soul. A connection that in fact is never not there, just that we have been deluded into believing we are not complete in ourselves.
Recently I saw advertising on the side of a bus with larger than life images. It was five women modelling underwear. One of these women (all aged late teens /early 20s) was heavily tattooed. I was taken aback, to me it appeared very odd to view such natural beauty heavily covered with the detail of tattoos. Some would say that it’s my age group and I’m just not used to it and this is true. However I’m also not desensitized to them either. To see tattoos as part of very graphic marketing tells me there are plenty of people that are desensitized and this makes them a great group to market to. So what does this say about the company and their integrity I wonder?
I recently travelled to America it was hot, humid, and bodies were barer than in my hometown in the UK. I was amazed at how extensive the tattooing was, as you say Nicole, no longer the individual bluebird, butterfly or scull and crossbone, these ink images were like garments themselves, the coverage felt aggressive, like a weed that has run rampant swallowing up its fleshy ground. The scale of today’s tattoos is a big statement and for me it shouts of the hardness, protection and numbing that humanity is turning to, for as you say beneath this shell there is a beauty, so pure & true that when connected to and lived, it pulls the curtain on the abusive nature that tattooing really is.
It has become so obvious over the last few years, since attending the amazing presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, how so many of us have built some sort of wall, or walls, to hide behind, and as you have shared Nicole, yours was a wall of tattoos; for me it was mothering, getting sick or injured, hiding in a book, amongst others. And like you I finally found that: “The need to hide behind something or someone was falling away. I realised it was ok for me to just be me, and that the only person that needed to accept me, was me.”… and I am delighted that the me that I have re-discovered has no need for walls anymore.
Looking around and seeing that those who choose to use tattoos often have multiple no longer just one and I had never considered that it could be an additive behaviour just like any other. Your blog makes me realise there are perhaps many things we can consider in this way and it has certainly made me look to see if I have any, addictive behaviours that is!. Thank you
There are also cosmetic tattoos. People getting eye-liner permanently tattooed on their eyelids. etc. I guess for many this is a convenience of never having to take off and reapply make-up so you can just wake up with it on. This is similar to other bodily tattoos in the sense that they are both done to disguise and create a look, an identity.
I have been reading recently about eyebrow tattoos.. Like eye liner tattoos, it may sound like a good idea, but it is nevertheless still a tattoo, and I agree Jinya, its just another way to disguise or change the way you look, permanently, which must come down to a lack of self acceptance and love for ourselves just as we are, our natural selves. As for many being their natural selves does not appear to be enough.
Not being enough is a real disease that affects so many people. It’s hidden beneath layers of distraction and facades and rarely do we let this out of the bag. It’s a disease that keeps us in the protection mode and affects everything in our life. I know I’ve been there and to feel this way of living is a true blessing, and to deal with this unlocks great potential.
It does seem as though tattooing is on the increase, along with piercings and body morphing. The tattoos seem to becoming larger on both men and women, where some years back women only had a small rose or a butterfly and men would have a girls name on their arm. Soon those who do not have one will stand out, instead of the other way round.
Nicole I had not considered that tattoos could be about self-worth and poor body image too, so your blog has offered me deeper understanding of why people get so obsessed with them – a type of addiction. I personally have always found tattoos unattractive and am disturbed by how they distract from the person’s natural beauty. Thank you for sharing this powerful story.
My journey from tattoos to tattoo removal, from addiction to self-acceptance is an extension of that life now lived. I accept and appreciate the body I have, no matter how it may look, and know that I could never become addicted to tattoos again.
Thank you Nicole for such an honest sharing, I relate to your story as I too have a few tattoos that have been getting removed, each session has been such a healing as I have been able to feel the emotional hurts I was carrying when I decided to get them. For me I went out of my way to reject my own tenderness and gentle nature and used the tattoos to look and feel tough, like a real man.
I have now learned to appreciate and accept myself for the man that I am and it’s got nothing to do with the exterior but the love and wisdom within me.
I’ve never been into tattoos and would often wonder why friends would get them and then want more or to build around the one they had to cover a larger area. I’ve heard a couple of them say it’s addictive but I could never understand and thought it was crazy. Reading this blog it all starts to make sense. I used many things such as holidays or even adventure sport as my tattoo. I’d train hard for a race or save for a holiday and really look forward to it, then as soon as it was over I’d be planning the next one. Again it was all to avoid feeling the empty feeling I had due to feeling I wasn’t really living the life I knew I could live. So although I wasn’t addicted to tattoos I was equally addicted to other things. Until I discovered Universal Medicine and realised I didn’t need to fill the empiness with things outside myself and could instead fill it by developing my relationship with myself.
Yesterday I was driving in the inner northern suburbs of Melbourne and was struck by a signage on a shop front. I was stopped in traffic outside a tattoo removal business. It was set up like a Medical Clinic and it struck me that how many more of these businesses we are likely to see in the future. What I felt and knew at 16 to 25 has evolved significantly and I can’t image wanting to be reminded of where my thoughts and life was then, every time I look at my self now. The removal of girlfriends and boyfriends names alone that have in haste, been ‘inked in the skin’, will keep businesses afloat. Watch this space!
I remember wanting a tattoo for ages very simple but the reason pretty full on… I felt only like a number in the world of millions and wanted a bar code to join in, until I saw one on someone one day, it was a great kick in pants and opened my eyes to what was happening around me
I feel the tattoos have become more intense and also the size and the amount. One tattoo is not enough anymore, I see whole arms, backs and legs covered. What are we covering up? There is so much beauty and love in all of us, why does this need a cover?
This is so true Mariette, I have noticed this trend too. This is also true of the amount of other distractions that we use, for example more computer games, hobbies, coffee, and more and more sugar. The pain of not being our true selves must be getting harder to bear if we, as a human race are needing to numb ourselves to it by increasing our distraction techniques.
Very true Mariette. We are beautiful as we are. Why do we need to cover up?
The extent that people are going to with tattoo’s is now at extreme levels. The most current form of tattoo I have seen has been people getting tattoo’s on their inner eye. The actual white section on the eye ball. The extent that people are willing to go to for further attention and that ‘wow’ factor is seeing people go to extreme measures. How much this effects the bodies natural way of ‘seeing’ and dealing with situations is alarming. The poison that is being injected in, the stain that it is leaving and the energetic mark that will be forever there unless healed is dangerous.
Nicole, thank you for sharing and insight into tattoos. It interesting how they become addictive like many other things we can do to numb our selves when we aren’t comfortable with how we feel. Food, diets, clothes hair, make up, tattoos … it can be a very long list of tools we use for avoiding the natural beauty that comes from with in. Some of these things can actually be fun and a loving celebration to express our natural beauty when we claim this for ourselves and not let an addiction cover us up.
Tattoos are a mark on the body. I thought i wanted a tattoo once but I never had the energy to go through with it. It always felt just not right when I was seeing friends get them. Now that I am more committed to loving myself and my body I can see how my natural body is so beautiful and I would never want to reduce and make a permanent mark on it with a tattoo.
Hi Nicole, I love how you write with such honesty and openness about your experiences so that others get to learn from your real lived wisdom. I never got a tattoo because i didn’t trust that anyone could draw like i wanted them too! Someone elses art on me felt like an imposition. And the permanency always put me off. But what you have revealed here is the underlying emotional factors that are involved with tattooing. This takes it to a whole new depth. Such an important reflection to have in the world.
Accepting ourself for who we are beautiful, Devine ,precious and sensitive is far from how most of us live today and hence the existence and need for identification by tattoos and the growing trends. Thank you for this honest and reflective sharing of your life Nicole and all it is offering. Lack of self worth and self love is the main obstacle in our lives to heal and claim ourselves for we are with no tattoos ever needed and the true harming and opening they cause us all can be exposed for what it is and eliminated .
Knowing that tattoos are addictive, the key is the first one. What do we expect it to do for us? What do we miss as person that needs a tattoo to feel complete? What is the tattoo being called to cover? These are important questions to raise awareness of possible candidates. The other points regarding how it feels once we have tattooed are equally important since they may not be as cool as we expected them to be.
The tattoos that you see these days look and feel much more sinister than the ones you used to get of anchors on sailor’s arms. Just like drug use becoming more extreme, the role that tattoos play have mirrored the extremities that people are needing / willing to go to, to add to or numb their experience of life.
A great observation Jinya. The more we collectively return back to the truth we are from, the greater the resistance required to counter it. The tattoos get more elaborate, the drugs get harder…the paint is applied in layers thick to mask the beauty of what always lies within, regardless of our choice to make it otherwise. We can numb ourselves to feeling truth but we can never eradicate its existence in our every pore.
I have never been drawn to have a tattoo, so reading your blog has been incredibly insightful. I now understand that a tattoo can be as addictive as food, alcohol, drugs and that asking yourself, ‘why would you get one in the first place?’ is a great question. But one a lot of people may not be able to answer if they are not connecting with themselves to understand the deeper need for getting it in the first place. It sounds great, what you shared around what you are feeling from the tattoo removal process. “Now I am able to look at myself in the mirror and see and feel me and the body I am in – not the tattoos I chose to hide behind.” That feels pretty amazing.
beautiful raw piece. I myself have no tattoo’s, and I have decided to not get one , never. I can feel this hype sensation around me almost everywhere I go. I am actually shocked how this sensation and need for a tattoo is increasing. Therefore I like your analogy and your alertness on asking the question : Why do we have a need to get a tattoo? We can still ask this question. Because this question is actually so in place and so normal to ask. As why would you? Why would you paint your skin permantly with black or color inked? Where is the love we have for our body?
Like with coffee I’ve never had any inklings towards having a tattoo. I’m sure the thought has crossed my mind once or twice but I felt that my skin was too precious to be painted on.
It is fascinating to me how we can become addicted to things that are so clearly self abusive. The only explanation can be that we feel ourselves to be of such low value that we don’t even realise it is abuse. The phrase ‘needing to be improved upon’ stood out for me in this blog and could be applied to many other things other than tattoos. When we don’t accept ourselves, we can actually believe that behaviours that harm the body are actually good for us or an improvement!
Tattooing as an addiction, this is revelatory Nicole. Thank you for your deeply honest sharing giving another the opportunity to feel that this may be the case for themselves. It may be the accepted “norm” but it is in no way normal. Self harm to self is never and should never be considered normal. Think of tattooing a baby and see what reaction that gets, not ok?
I like that Caroline. It is so true, we would by definition not tattoo a baby, this thought would not even come to our minds. As we find a baby , pure & natural.. Why do we not see ourselves in that way? Are we not pure & natural in our way, even if we are a little older?
Great question Danna – when we do things as adults and wonder if it’s a good thing or not it’s always helpful to think – would I do this to a baby. Now we know this is not applicable in all instances but it shows us whether we are as loving and tender with ourselves as we would be with a little toddler.
I saw a photo of a dog that had been given a very large tattoo on its belly. I felt saddened by the extent that human beings can go to, all in the name of recognition and to hide their power and real inner beauty.
What we are addicted to is identification, we literally can’t get enough of the stuff. We’ll snaffle any little titbit up, which is why so many people are addicted to getting tattoos because it’s like any habit that we feed, the fix gives us a very temporary reprieve from the cravings and then we’re back out on the street looking for our next fix.
I have never understood the appeal of tattoo’s, but from reading this, now understand that they are just another means to suppress and not deal with our lack of self-worth and acceptance. We all use different substances and activities in different ways when we do not accept ourselves for who we are or the body that we are in, tattoos are presently just easily available and socially acceptable. As you share, it is about getting to the reason for wanting or needing tattoos, alcohol, drugs, excessive exercise, sugary foods, acknowledgement from others, etc, etc – to ponder on what we choose to avoid dealing with our lack of self acceptance.
I find it is important not to hold any judgement of someone choosing to have a tattoo yet at the same time also feel the importance of accepting how ugly I find the energy of the tattoos I see. When I recently saw a sleeve on someone’s arm it didn’t seem to fit with the quality of gentleness I also naturally saw in that person.
Anyone who has ever considered getting a tattoo should watch the process of removal to understand at least in part the full consequences of such actions. What saddens me is that rather than see our body as the natural temple it is, we are becoming obsessed with creating a temple that still en-houses us, but in truth is no longer ours. We are instead a walking billboard for another’s expression.
This is interesting Adam Warburton the way you put this. So often people get tattoos thinking it is a form of self expression but actually in a way it is like being a canvas for another person’s painting. Yes we might get to choose the type of tattoo we want or even get to design it ourselves but it is still someone else’s energetic imprint that is being placed on our body and all that comes with that imprint which may not have fully considered or bargained on.
This is a really great point Andrew and something anyone who is contemplating getting a tattoo should first consider.
Me too Susan, I also feel it is known and felt but we chose to not feel it. Because it has become so normal, we can hide behind that, the fact that it is so normal and everybody does it. Same with alcohol or drugs. But because something is normal, this does not mean there is a deeper truth to look at, which is that tattoos show there is a lack of self worth and self love.
For me in hindsight taking a tattoo was giving my power away. I was not thinking for myself, but wanting to matter and to belong. Now I sit with the consequence of that choice on my back. Haven’t found the right tattoo removal place yet.
A tattoo is just another thing like alcohol or drugs. It is sought to numb what is being felt. From my experience, many more men have tattoos because they are much more invested in numbing their feelings than women, for whom it is more socially acceptable to have any feelings at all.
Hi Jinya what I have come to realise is there are those that get a tattoo because it is the latest trend or groovy thing to do and there are those, like myself, that are into harming themselves to try and numb the self-loathing and total angst about life and the choices we have made. The latter is far more serious and the tattoo seems to take a lot longer to remove
Hi Nicole, I have found from reading your blog again and the awesome comments that followed that I have a greater awareness of the deep hurts that people generally are carrying, albeit often unknown or unrecognized by themselves. Not long ago I could easily be shocked at what I was seeing – but now I can often feel the pain and the deep hurt that lies behind many of these displays of disharmony within – maybe I’m developing a little more compassion, or maybe it is just simply a deeper awareness of what may lie at the base of a women’s decision to prepare her clear and lovely skin with dark blue ink to accompany her femininity and pretty dresses.
It is wonderfully refreshing I feel, to have this subject so openly and honestly expressed in this manner perchance offering young people an opportunity to see that there may be another way of expressing themselves.
Having always been disconneted from my body, I have always had huge body issues, It is life changing when we can accept and appreciate the body we have. Sounds so simple, but it is pure gold and the road to true transformation. Thank you Nicole for this super informative article on your journey with tattoos and tattoo removal.
If Tattoo’s are used to hide behind how many other things do we use to hide? From behaviours to create a persona that isn’t us like an actor on stage, to clothes and make up even false tan’s are possibly a hiding. Its a really interesting subject to ponder on how much do we hide and why is our self worth so low that we need to create something which isn’t us in the first place?
For me, getting a tattoo was very much about creating an identity. I had lost touch with the truth of who I am. Nothing in our world is a vacuum and that emptiness had to be filled with stuff I pulled in from all directions. Once I started to connect to my truth, I could feel that the tattoo did not corresponded to the quality of that truth. I felt a stronger sense of me rather than the emptiness and therefore it was no longer required.
Being someone who never had a tattoo and is kind of freaked out by them, I have had a difficult time understanding why people put themselves through so much pain to mark there bodies in a permanent way and do it to such an extent that is now commonplace almost everywhere on the planet. But I have to say Nicole, what you have described about the relationship with accepting one’s body and hiding it with tattoos when that self-love and acceptance is lacking makes so much sense and is really enlightening for me. I can see now how it turns into an addiction because there is a void there that can never be filled with the temporary ‘hit’ of the tattoo. This understanding can really be a beginning of true healing for other people with similar tattoo addictions if and when people are willing to look deeper into why they have chosen that for themselves.
I love how this blog exposes how getting tattoos can be addictive in the sense of giving a false sense of acceptance of our body. When we are caught in illusions such as this, it then becomes very tricky to break compulsive and self-destructive behaviour patterns.
Here in the UK our Blood banks have now taken the decision to no longer take blood from any person who has tattoos.
The percentage of people giving blood to the transfusion service has dropped by 40%, and could result in the UK importing blood from other countries. Not sure how good the process of importing blood would be, and how they treat and check for any irregularities in their supply.
If people realised before they get tattoos, that one day they may need blood for what ever reason, that they think twice about ruining their bodies.
That’s really a huge percentage of people that have tattoos and very discomforting to hear what an impact it has.
Wow I didn’t know that – given the increasing number of people being tattooed we are looking at a very serious consequence here. This should make everyone contemplating getting a tattoo stop and question – what about getting a tattoo makes my blood no longer acceptable to modern medicine and what does that mean in my own body?
Wow, that’s quite a consequence to a whole community… but when you think about it, a thoughtful and careful one from the perspective of public health and safety. This shows how our choices don’t just impact ourselves, but affect everybody…
I just discovered how expensive tattoos can be and it made me wonder what are we investing in when we get a tattoo. I feel your blog Nicole gives us an insight into this question and possibly further food for thought.
I saw a girl today with tattoos all over her body, and, it was like a cloak of armour had been placed around her beautiful self. It was so hard to see her, the pictures were distracting and imposing and the lovely person that she is was well and truly hidden from view.
Great point that Bina makes about the apple watches not working well on tattooed skin because of the lack of light. And the questions that follow as to how, if the tattoo is depriving us of light, it could be harmful and creating disharmony within.
On a State health site I looked at recently there was a list of side-effects that are possible with tattoos – infections and scarring were two good reasons not to have a tattoo. If there is no consideration for the risks, it backs up your words Nicole, that a lack of self worth can be the reason many people have tattoos. For me, it seems a way to hide behind a heavily tattooed body, and requires focus to see the beautiful soul underneath not only these tattoos, but also underneath other (extreme) body modifications.
A friend of mine has just posted pictures of herself with new tattoo’s; she got her fist ones a few years ago and now there are many more adorning her body. I was pretty shocked when I saw the photo as it confused me, but having read this article and how it is addictive and covering up other deep rooted feelings of self loathing, it makes perfect sense.
I have often heard people with tattoos say it becomes an addiction which shows that there is more going on than just body art. There is a real consciousness behind it which is running rampant like a plague which is infecting so many people, young and old from all walks of life. Is it a trend that people are going to live to regret?
Interesting to think about – When we have a tattoo, or many, there is a focus on the surface and not actually on the quality inside the body. So if we focus more on the outside it could be a great distraction from feeling how we are on the inside.
This is so true Matts, and this is the case with our outer appearance in general….not just tattoos.
Great point Matts – that, when focus on the outside becomes more important than the inner quality, no matter in which way , the distraction from truly feeling within becomes so easy…
Reading about this topic and reading the comments has given me a totally new understanding of why people get tattoos in the first place. I always had this idea that people got them to get noticed or that they were expressing themselves through art but I can now see that there is so much more going on. I never gave it much thought that people could hide behind their tattoos or that they can become addictive.
It makes sense that having a lot of tattoos could scare people and keep others away, as a form of protection but deep down they are just the same as everyone else, it’s just that they use their skin as an added layer to feel safe.
This has been great to read Nicole. At one time in my life I had thought about getting a tattoo and back then they weren’t so fashionable unless you rode a harley and wore a leather jacket. But the one thing that always put me off was the thought of “how will this look when I’m old and my skin wrinkly”. Not an appealing thought and one that stopped me from getting that tattoo anytime it came to mind.
I believe that 1in five people have tattoos, and for most they are a case for a celebration, but for others an unpleasant reminder of their youthful mistakes.
Although there is good in all people, tattoos can give the wrong impression, that those who have them are all hooligans, and can be intimidating and frightening form of art.
I remember when I smoked, I was asked why I did it, and I did not have an answer. I was then told that if God has wished me to smoke, he would have put a chimney on my head. We all do mad and impetuous things in our youth, and later in life totally regret it.
Perhaps I needed to get a tattoo to truly understand how energies affects us. Since having mine removed, I have found that I am less prone to moods and temperamental behaviour.
Beautiful sharing Nicole. I can relate to what you say about “…no longer are you asked why you have a tattoo but why you do not.” I was often asked why I did not like tatoos and why I could not see the “beauty” or the “art” of it, as if that was a really weird thing.
I’ve never been interested in getting a tattoo and I’ve never understood the attraction that people have to tattoos. Thank you Nicole for sharing your blog and making me aware of the reason why people get them and continue to get them.
I can understand why people get tattoos, it’s no different to why people have powerful motorbikes, unusual pets, blue hair, expensive handbags, good looking partners, talented kids, dangerous hobbies, unusual laughs etc it’s because we have all lost sight of who we all are and so we’re all desperately trying to fill in the blanks.
I am always surprised when people tell me that they mark important events such as major birthdays or anniversaries with a tattoo, then it is significantly marked on their bodies forever. This would suggest that the feelings or emotions are not dealt with that are associated with these events.
When I got my tattoo at 18 I really thought I was doing it because it was this great expression, this great statement of who I was. That no one was like me and that the world could never stop me from being me.
What I realise now that if that were true for me then – I would never have needed to get a tattoo. The reason I was getting a tattoo was because I had let the world tell me who I had to be and I was living a lie – not the real me. I got the tattoo as a reaction to the world that was forcing me to live a different way.
Getting it removed was such a great process to reclaim who I actually am as I have reclaimed living who I actually am – and am no longer influenced by the pressures the world puts on us to be something else.
Huge Life Learning.
Awesome realisation Simon.
When I got tattoos there was a lot of non acceptance of myself. I couldn’t accept myself just the way I am, where I have chosen to be born in, how I have chosen my life to be and I could not accept how the world is. Nothing was good enough, and every day was a reaction. There was deep restlessness and I needed more. The tattoos came as an expression of this.
Being more comfortable now in my body with acceptance, presence and commiting back to life, knowing and feeling how precious I am, the need for the world to understand lessens greatly.
When there is no understanding or acceptance reflected from the outside, in connecting with ourselves it is a great opportunity to live the understanding and acceptance towards ourselves in a way even deeper than before.
Feeling we are enough, it becomes unnecessary to use tattoos or other invasive ways to show the world, as just by breathing, we are already living ourselves.
Isn’t fascinating how society is accepting more extremes. Many may not see tattoos from head to toe an extreme, but even 50 years ago, the thought would barely cross the mind of anyone. ‘Normal’, it seems, continues to head in the wrong direction and this is an insight into just one aspect.
I agree with you Oliver, what was considered normal 50 years ago would have been a tattoo on a mans arm of his wife or his mother’s name, but now everything and anything can be drawn onto the skin. Another new trend which I find disturbing to look at and wonder how people can put themselves through what must be so painful, is the implants under the skin along with tattooing which has started to get more popular.
Thanks for beautifully sharing your relationship with tattoos Nicole, I am always quite bewildered when I see a beautiful woman walking down the street , with a whole sleeve, neck or back covered in tattoos and wonder why someone would go to all that extreme to deface with art a work of art – the body. I witnessed an old best friend school mate get addicted to tattoos in our mid twenties, he now looks like a member of the yakuza, whole torso from collarbone to cuffs.
I wonder how many people will regret their tattoos, only time will tell as it is just another a choice of free will in life.
Thank you for such an open and honest sharing with such clarity, Nicole. I love what you share above here, that ‘I finally had to feel all that I had spent my life avoiding, and more.’ when it came to having your tattoos removed. The lengths we will go to to avoid feeling! And the courage and determination we feel, or certainly I have felt, when finally choosing that enough is enough and burying what is there to be felt is no longer an option. Beautiful.
There is a rise in the number of people wanting their tattoos removed. When I read of your experience Nicole, and and of how tattoos were a protection and a false shield from feeling and knowing your true self, your growing self awareness and self love, renders tatoos truly a distraction from seeing and feeling ALL you already are.
I agree Bernadette, more and more people are having their tattoos removed and not only that they are able to feel the absolute difference it makes not to have them.
I am in the process of having my tattoo removed and it has made huge, huge difference. I could not recommend this enough to people who have a tattoo,it is worth every cent. I now have a deeper relationship with my left breast (the tattoo was on this breast) and have re-connected with the whole left side of my body which would not have been possible if I had not got it removed. In the first 3 sessions I felt the energy of the tattoo person leave my body, I was shocked to feel that I had been carrying his energy in my breasts all this time. It was a deep, deep healing and realisation of the harm that I wanted to impose on myself through getting a tatoo.
Thank you Nicole for sharing this. It is the first time I have heard of tattoos on mannequins in a city store. Considering the damage that they can bring to the recipient I see this as a highly irresponsible act. When are we going to wake up to the fact that any unnatural action against our bodies has to be harmful? It makes me wonder if there is any link between getting a tattoo and self-harming which is rife in our schools these days.
Thank you everyone for the amazing comments. I love the conversation that this article has started.
I must say I was in Sydney lasts week and was surprised, or maybe not really when I look at what goes on around me, there was a sports store that had 2 mannequins in the window dressed in Australian football colours and jerseys, one of the mannequins was an adult and the other a child representing ages 8-10.
Ok this appeared to be “normal”, however it was not the mannequins that bothered me but the arm sleeve tattoo stickers that had been placed down both arms of the adult and child mannequins.
There was a glorification in the fact that the players had tattoos, and with children looking up to these players as role models it was sad to see that they felt to tattoo the child’s arms also in this window display.
Tattoos are not something that we should take lightly, they leave behind an imprint in the body that causes more damage than that which anyone at this point has stopped to consider or feel.
I know I never did, and when it came to beginning the removal process of my tattoos, I soon felt the disregard and lovelessness I was in when I made the choice to get them in the first place.
I finally had to feel all that I had spent my life avoiding, and more.
This is a conversation we need to have with everyone, old or young, it is not just a pretty picture.
Tattoos as a form of protection, who would have ever thought? I certainly see the link now; finding yet another way we as human beings seek a distraction from being with ourselves, so as to not feel our hurts.
It is interesting to look closer at the reasoning why we might desire a tattoo, within a choice such as this there is always a deeper reasoning and it seems well worth exploring the true motives behind getting a tattoo. Is it to fit in or stand out and is there something else going on in your life that may be influencing the desire. All these factors are fascinating and well worth exploring before the permanent ink goes on your body.
“No matter how many tattoos I had, once the thrill and excitement of my new tattoo wore off, I was left with the same old feeling of worthlessness, a lack of respect for and acceptance of myself.” This to me is quite interesting, because I could say the same thing about working-out at the gym and reaching new PB’s; once I had achieved it, or a certain muscle size, I would need more of the same to give a sense of acceptance of myself. It’s amazing the myriad of ways we tend to search for that false acceptance and contentment.
..’the only person that needed to accept me, was me.’ Simply a profound truth Nicole.
Hi Nicole – thank you for your honest expression in regards to your relationship with the tatoos you are now expelling lovingly from your body. A long time ago I thought those little tiny tatoos were so very cutesy, but it is almost painful to now look at some of these gorgeous young people with young clear skin covering it all up with dark ink. One has to wonder what is it that they are trying to hide, and I can now see from your words that it has the possibility of becoming another addiction, a distraction to take away if only momentarily that which is not willingly wanted to be looked into more deeply at that time. Like you, I am ever in appreciation of the deeper awareness revealed from the presentations of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon. I love your blogs – you express a wealth of wisdom I feel.
It’s something many people do to create a persona. If a persona is in need of being created, it says a lot about how that person feels about themselves. I got one because I wanted to create an identity. By living in a way that is from a connection to my innermost, I have been able to let go of things that I adopted to be identified. These include smoking, tattoos and a lifestyle of vagueness.
Thank you Nicole for writing about your experiences with tattoos. What you have written should be handed to every person to read before they submit their body to such a permanent disfigurement. You have truly opened up a discussion that is much needed in today’s world. Seeing getting tattoos as an addiction is something, I am sure many have not considered. Yet this does need to be considered and treated like any other addiction. When looked at from the perspective of self care and honour for our bodies, as with any addiction it would be much harder to go through with getting one.
Tattoos feel as though they are saying something to the world that we are unable to express. To me they have always felt like self harming and a disfigurement of the body. They also have an appearance that can prompt a disgust in me when I only see the tattoo and not the person behind the tattoo. It also feels as though I am being blocked out – that the person does not want me to know them and who they are. By listening to Serge Benhayon I am now able to see beyond the tattoo and to connect to the person rather than judge by outward appearance. It feels amazing when I can connect with everyone in this way and the world feels more equal and at one with itself. The more we connect and express how we feel the more unity and harmony we can have in our lives.
I agree Susan, that tattoos for me was an attempt to say something to the world that somehow I couldn’t express or did not want to take the responsibility in expressing.
I have heard many times that tattoos are addictive – something about the adrenaline caused by the pain. This is interesting when we consider our entire society at the moment and all the many stimulating addictions that we have.
I have really noticed how a tattoo really does help a person hide – it is noticed before anything else (if it is visible) and often asked about before anything else ‘what is it?’ ‘ what does it mean?”. The person becomes identified by their tattoos not who they truly are.
I have witnessed the same Rebecca, along with the growing prevalence of heavily tattooed limbs, torso, neck, etc, and the wearing of clothing that ensures these markings are seen (even when that means much ‘flesh’ exposed in cold, cold weather!). It is of course the decision of the person to be ‘inked’ in this way, but I can’t help but feel the hiding also, as Nicole has so honestly written about here.
Hiding, along with something of a defiance at times, that can occur along with any addictive behaviour, as in, “I know this is harming me, but I’ll do it anyway, and put it forward for you to see”. In this, I can truly appreciate what Nicole has shared about how tattoos just fitted with the way she (then) viewed herself.
When I got my second tattoo I knew very clearly that this is an addiction. I could not stop until I got my fourth. Like all things that we are addicted to, I felt I needed more tattoos or to go through more of the inking process, because I feel I am not enough.
What was I not enough of? Today I realize it is about expression. The holding back of myself in expressing the true and fullness of myself, I was constantly looking for ways to confirm that which I know, but have not expressed. But eventually tattoos or any addiction did not fulfill and could never fulfill this void I am feeling, but I would now have to take the responsibility of the choice of tattooing myself.
What you have shared here Nicole, as it seems from the comments, is a much greater understanding of why people choose to get tattoos. That there is more going on than just getting ‘some ink’. This understanding is very much needed. Thank you.
I totally agree Lisa. By what Nicole has shared and the the comments the understanding behind tattoos is really significant. How they and other addictions are ways we use to protect ourselves from unresolved the painful issues and the protection is an illusion. The issues do not go away, they only get more difficult to face the longer we put off the eventual day of reckoning.
I find myself very distracted by people’s tattoos so when you shared “did they allow me to focus on something else on my body – rather than on my body itself?” It made sense.
Me too Nicole…I always look at other people’s tattoos and ask myself “I wonder what the story behind the choice for this one, or that one, was?” when really we can read the energy behind the choice and understand and connect to the person again, and not just the story behind the picture.
I watched a football match last night on TV, and their was not a player on the pitch that did not have so many tattoos .
These professional players, supposably are not setting a good example to the younger generation.
When these players career come to an end, I wonder what they will be thinking about the way they have disfigured their bodies?
Absolutely Gill.
And it’s crazy because I notice that no less than 70% of people where I live actually have tattoos. This includes in the work environment. I wonder the impact this is having on children when they are brought up with it being the norm that mum, dad, teacher etc have tattoos sleeves, or multiple tattoos on the body.
You are correct Nicole in saying that tattooing is everywhere and that people do actually say ‘why don’t you have one’. Today the unique or individual person is the one without the tattoos or shall we call them for what they are ‘body mutilation’. But why do we go to a something that is a form of mutilating ourself? You have pointed out the lack of self worth and feeling the need to pretty yourself up. And if we expand on this, I can also see that tattoos are something of a form of identification for people, something that takes the focus off the person and directs it to the tattoo, a type of distraction, they are a way to be recognised, a way to fit in to the ‘normal’ or the ‘common’ these days and to blend in.
Wow Nicole! Another amazing article directly from your lived experience. I found this quite powerful ‘Was it possible that tattoos fooled me into believing that I accepted myself? Or did they allow me to focus on something else on my body – rather than on my body itself?’ From this and from the fact that there is huge rise in tattoos, it is obvious that we as a society have a ‘lack of self worth epidemic.’
That something so appalling can become a fashion accessory is reminiscent of ages past that we look back on, and reflect on the ignorance that was manifest in the society then. It is not so far away that society will look back on tattoos with the same bemusement, and wonder how on earth people did this to themselves.
“to realise that I am not the clothes I wear nor the hairstyle I have – to know that I am what is within ” absolutely Nicole; and looking at your photo and the words you write, your beauty from within, radiates through.
Thanks Nicole, your insight into why you wanted the tattoos makes perfect sense… and offers something by way of understanding of the recent explosion in tattooing. Unravelling all of what was underneath it for you is fascinating to read, I had not made the association with addiction before.
I have frequently noticed that I find my attention being caught by tattoos and not the person they are on so, after reading this article, I now understand that they have been chosen to distract attention from the person themselves. Beautiful to read how you have been supported to come to this realisation and have reclaimed the beauty of who you really are, Nicole.
Great point about tattoos being a distraction from seeing the true person wearing them – kind of a form of protection. Obviously this is not consciously acknowledged at the time of getting a tattoo and is quite revealing of the choice to use a form of protection that is going to be there on the body for one’s whole life.
Awesome, thank you for sharing Nicole. I never got any tatoos, didn’t like the permanency of them plus didn’t have the money to pay for them when I was interested. I hid who I was in other ways though so it was interesting to read how you used tatoos to hide from your true self and how you are now reclaiming and loving your body as you have the tatoos removed.
I have certainly been tempted by tattoos in the past – this is such a great summation of the process that leads to this choice. The idea that you adopted the tattoos as a permanent beautification – to keep you distracted from the real you.
What an amazing healing process it must be for you Nicole to now be removing them with the support of a loving doctor.
I wonder if tattoos are now accepted by many as an initiation into adulthood, a must-do when you turn 18 and thus we/society has created a situation which puts pressure on young adults to conform by having a tattoo?
When I was in my 20’s I was considering a tattoo, my partner at the time had many and we went to the tatoo parlour and I chose what I wanted, but chickened out at the last minute as I don’t like unnecessary pain, as tattoos are painful. I felt that I had to get one to fit in and have a feeling of seperateness from the main stream of society and the tattoo would be a form of individual expression.I felt that to have a tattoo you were in rebellion to what is accepted or the norm, there is a club that you belong to when you have a tattoo. I was angry at the world nd did not feel loved or accepted so I wanted to rebel. Now that I have a beautiful connection to myself and my body, I’m so glad I was afraid to go through with the tattoo as Id be getting it removed. They are a marker of a time in your life that was not connecting or loving of yourself, and it’s not who I am now.thank you Nicole for your powerful blog
Thank you Nicole, from what you have shared I can now understand more clearly the addictive nature of ‘tattooing’ and why it has become such commonplace in society. Some of my colleagues that have tattoos speak about how they “can’t wait to get their next one”, which often surprised me, but with my understanding of addictions, this now makes sense.
I always wanted a tattoo to become more interesting and to ‘upgrade’ myself. I even thought about having, instead of a marriage-ring, a tattoo on the finger. Fortunately I did not find a picture I loved enough to put onto my skin for ever… Now I am very glad that I was so undecided because I discovered for myself the last years that I am very, very precious and that I am worth celebrating as I am. I celebrate myself by dressing and with make-up which I can change and adjust to my feelings of that day.
Like you Sandra I toyed with getting a tattoo but couldn’t decide what to get and where to put it. I remember telling my Dad I was thinking of getting one and without missing a beat he said Suse ‘why would you do that, you know you change your mind all the time’. At that very moment we were walking past a stall that had fake tattoos that wash off. He pointed to them and said ‘just get a few of those and then you can change them whenever you want’. Wise words Dad, he deflated by intention instantly. Years later, the thought now of someone drawing forever into my skin with a permanent imprint of ink that effectively marks their territory on my body is not something I would even consider for as you share there are an infinite number of other ways that are far more loving for my body to celebrate my preciousness so like you Sandra I ‘can change and adjust to my feelings of that day’ with my own freedom of expression and no one else’s art expressing themselves from me.
I’ve never had a tattoo and could never understand why other people would want to get them. Thank you for sharing your story Nicole it has brought a deeper level of understanding to this topic and helps me be aware of why people tattoo themselves.
My feeling is that for many, the choice to have a tattoo is a kind of individual badge to wear like nobody else has, a sort of self identification to be proud of. But having had a tattoo and now going through the removal process I found that it was a permanent badge that I was bound to grow out of and certainly did grow out of. It is now an imprint on my body that no longer fits the person I am now, and that is one of the many problems with tattoos, is that they hold us stuck in a time and energy that in the future we may wish to not to be in.
True Beverley- they are seen like an individual badge but one must ask that because most people seem to be getting them then . . . how individual is it really?
And it is very foreseeable that tattoos will be outgrown. As my daughter said many years ago to a big muscly footy guy at the park who she tried to play football with when she was 4, ‘Hey cool tattoo, but you do know that it’s not going to look so good when you are old’
I have never been drawn to have a tattoo, which I am happy about, because I know I would have regretted it much later. Thank you Nicole for sharing a super interesting blog and shining the light on this subject.
Nicole, thank you for this amazing blog. The depth and delicacy of understanding you bring, as to why people get tattoos is just lovely. No judgement of anyone, just love and acceptance. Your deep beauty shines through this piece.
Loved reading your blog Nicole. I am in the process of having my two tattoos removed, 5 sessions down so far. When I decided to get my tattoos I had a definite reason for what they each represented and chose carefully whereabouts on my body they would be best represented. Having them removed has been terrifyingly painful with huge blisters and much discomfort. The unravelling of the need behind the choice to get tattooed has been truly amazing. Every session has taken me into a deeper level of awareness and being able to feel that has truly healed so much for me. Thank you for starting the conversation.
This is a really good point Shelley. It seems that tattoos are really quick to be applied and have some pain attached to getting them done, I would imagine. Someone described it to me once as scratching really bad sunburn with a pin. But when I think about the length of time they take to be removed and the pain and discomfort in that- it is far worse. And then there is the cost comparison, I would imagine.
This is what should be told to people who get tattoos . . .
1. you will grow out of this.
2. it will hurt getting it but if you choose to remove it it is going to hurt a whole lot more.
3. it will take and hour or two to apply but months and many sessions to remove.
4. it will cost a lot more to remove than it does to apply.
This is the reality of it.
Thank you of sharing your experience Nicole. Although I’d explored many other ways to be identified and hide the real me I never did go down the road of getting a tattoo so I found this article to be deeply insightful in helping me understand one of the main underlaying reasons people get them.
Thank you Nicole for your honesty and openness about your addiction to tattoos and then your choice to remove them. Your experiences are so valuable for anyone considering having a tattoo or having a tattoo removed. When you begin to love and accept yourself it is obvious to see the choices you have made that are not from love. What an inspiration you are Nicole from using tattoos to dull and protect yourself to now a powerful and beautiful woman who truly honours herself.
I got a tattoo shortly after a death of a family member. At the time I was under the illusion that it marked a rights of passage. But I know now that I was using it to numb the grief that I felt but didn’t know how to cope with. I had it for about ten years before I decided that it had to go and went through the agony and terrible pain of laser treatment. After a year it was removed and now only a faint mark remains as a reminder for how I had once allowed my body to be a canvas for somebody’s art work with which I would need to live with day in day out, effecting me on many more levels than I cared to know. The mind boggles now why I would allow such a thing to be done to me. I can only say that I was not myself.
Pretty much none of us are being our true selves and so when we are adrift from ourselves anything can happen and it does. Just look at the world around us, it’s total chaos, it really is. Only when we drop the anchor of ‘us’ will we start to stabilise and then harmonise things, until then it’s pretty much on for young and old!
Great point about the addiction of tattoos in this blog, I never really saw it clearly that way, but if you watch any of those shows on tv, you can see how addictive it is. And that means of course as stated by Nicole, that when the novelty wears off, you need more. If people were just simply offered the truth about such a dependency in mainstream society, surely this would lead to making different choices. Is it so necessary for everyone to have their own form of addiction? No human beings can rise beyond this for sure. I feel this deeply in my heart.
I can feel the insatiableness of tattoos – that the short term buzz from one leads onto wanting another and another and I can see the parallel from tattoos to cosmetic plastic surgery – once started it is hard to stop. Unless, that is, as Nicole has shared here, there is a shift in perspective and relationship with our bodies. Whilst I never did get a tattoo, something I contemplated many times, the other addictive behaviours have been prevalent in my life and the trajectory they would have taken if I had not met Serge Benhayon would have been catastrophic. Thank you, Nicole, for sharing so openly about the changes and choices that have transformed your life.
I remember talking with someone about getting a tattoo and they said they used the pain of getting a tattoo as pain relief from the tension that they felt in their relationship and work. The young woman said, “I walked in the tattoo shop with a whole lot of tension in myself, and as soon as I felt the first needle going into my skin, I felt relief”. This is the same description people give when explaining acts of self harm like cutting or burning. Have we made self harm acceptable by calling it tattooing and packaging it up as self expression? Harming yourself is a form of self expression, its just a destructive one that tells the world how much pain you are in.
Hello Nicole and this is a painful subject you have started here. Not that I know for real because I have never had a tattoo but I imagine and from what I have heard they are very painful. I like what you are saying though and it all makes sense. One thing I have noticed as you have is the explosion of people and size of tattoos. They use to be limited to most being ‘private’ but now they are there to be seen. I’m not a big fan of tattoo’s I must admit and was never drawn into getting one even when my mates were all getting them. I just didn’t see the sense in getting something on me that I could never take off if I didn’t like it, plus the pain. I can also see what you are saying and how people are using tattoos like you explain. It’s a very interesting view on a subject that is now very public, thank you Nicole.
This is such an insightful post Nicole about tattoos, and not having one myself, appreciate your story and unfolding very much, because it’s so relatable to not just tattoos, but equally to other areas of life in which we can use ‘something else’ to avoid, distract ourselves, or abuse our body – to not see and hence appreciate i.e. love ourselves. Your self-realisation exposes the false seed we like to use to settle our mind that what we are doing is ‘good for us’ whether that’s us expressing ourselves, beautification, or something artful, even acceptance of oneself : “Was it possible that tattoos fooled me into believing that I accepted myself? Or did they allow me to focus on something else on my body – rather than on my body itself?”.
Nicole every young man and woman needs to read your story about tattoos and self-acceptance. I know I often find myself staring in disbelief and with a sense of sadness when I see beautiful young women covered in tattoos, so obviously not at home in their own skin. In young men I sense that armour of protection that tattoos seem to afford and yet if I take the time I can feel their innate tenderness. When did we all start finding it so hard to accept and express who we are – beautiful, delicate, tender?
“No matter how many tattoos I had, once the thrill and excitement of my new tattoo wore off, I was left with the same old feeling of worthlessness, a lack of respect for and acceptance of myself.” This is profound. How often in life do we reach outwards for something hoping it will miraculously help us feel better about ourself and life – and how often do we end up in exactly the same place and perhaps a little more disconnected with ourself and a little more frustrated with life.
I have two tattoos, and have wanted to get them removed for quite a while. I remember when it was first asked of me what would it be like to have no tattoos, and there was a sense of lightness that I could feel would be there. And this was down to realising that with the tattoos I am never truly naked. I am never just me, just as I am. It is like I am always living with some form of clothing on that I can never take off. This article has inspired me to take another look at getting my tattoos removed, and to move forward with it.
Nicole there was so much in your blog for me to relate to, and also to take a deeper look at. One part being how I also used tattoo’s to beautify my body, as I hadn’t accepted the raw beauty of me. I can also feel how the addiction part is true for me. How getting a tattoo didn’t fill the void I was aiming for so I would get another. My tattoos gave me a sense of being different from others, becoming protection for me. Keeping more people away, creating more separation from humanity.
How many people who have tattoos, myself included, stopped to really question why they wanted or were getting a tattoo? It is a little scary considering the permanent nature of them. I have always noticed that with people who have big tattoos, it is hard to see the actual person and all you can see is the tattoo. Is it possible small tattoos do the same think but obviously are a bit more sneaky about it? Do they take away from who we really are so that that can no longer be seen so easily? My tattoos are small and fairly unseen but it is me who is unable to see myself clearly because of them. I have begun the removal process and although it is incredibly painful there is a sense of freedom I feel after each removal session and I come out feeling lighter.
This is a great blog to stimulate one to ask the question of do we really appreciate our self-worth or do we rely on external trappings to support us in our identification and give ourselves value? I know I did not used to value and appreciate myself for who I am and but depended on an external identification to give me sense of worth. However, over the years, I am now 63, none of the different identifications from teacher, photographer, father, therapist and the the list can go on, did I feel fulfilled. I was always left with a feeling of incompleteness. It is only now in recent years since learning to not rely on an external source for my self-worth but to appreciate myself for the amazing tender loving man I truly am and feel full within myself.
Ive just finished reading another blog on clearing out old accumulated clutter in the home and, it seems to me, that having tattoos removed from the body is a similar process, all be it far deeper and more painful. A tattoo becomes a permanent imprint from a point in the past that remains with us each and every day, the more tattoos the more ‘old stuff’, ‘baggage’ or ‘clutter’ remains, locking us in to times, events, images, ideals and beliefs that may no longer serve us, weighing us down and not allowing the lightness of who we are in the present to be freely expressed. Nicole I love this statement, “Each removal session supports me to feel more of me. Now I am able to look at myself in the mirror and see and feel me and the body I am in – not the tattoos I chose to hide behind.”
It’s amazing that people put themselves through so much pain in order to achieve something or an effect that they want. And tattoo removal sounds even worse than actually having the original tattoo. So much pain!
It’s a false want to cover pain. There is alway more then skin under the tattoo.
Absolutely, Rebecca. A tattoo is relatively cheap and takes just a couple of hours to put on, depending on the size, and takes many more times than that to take off!
It is Rebecca, to achieve the effect they want. I have often thought how otherwise attractive people ruin their beauty and look horrendous after covering their bodies in tattoos.
“By making choices in my life that are supportive and loving, allowing me to feel who I am without the façade, I have been able to end my addiction to tattoos and see my body and myself for who I truly am, the amazing, delicate woman I have always been and shall continue to blossom to be.”
Great honest sharing re tattoo addiction Nicole. You are an inspiration for other people who have chosen to have tattoos and now they have another more loving reflection to see and follow if they wish.
Nicole what a Blessing to read about You accepting You for who You are and not hiding anymore. Thank You for sharing.
Yes I agree Gill, this article reveals yet another pattern of behaviour we can engage in to avoid feelings associated with a lack of self acceptance or to be recognised and fashionable. There are so many layers you have revealed Nicole in your relationship with having tattoo, but it is especially lovely to hear how your exploration included a journey of acceptance.
Have you seen the latest article in the Newspapers. Not sure if it is true or not, but those people who have tattoos and have purchased the new Apple Watch, the watch will not function, as there is something in the ink or dye that goes into the body during the tattoo process affects the watch’s mechanism. Tattoos could become very expensive, as is the watch.
….. or a new Summer dress…. Me too Tony, I am far too sensitive and delicate for hurting myself in that way.
Tattoos are considered so normal now that people are being asked if they have a tattoo and if they don’t have one then they are asked “why not”. This to me is very disturbing.
Yes it is disturbing, it shows all the issue that Nicole has written about are rife in humanity.
I have had tattoos as well Nicole and can absolutely relate to what you say about them being addictive. My first one was a present to myself for completing my first year at uni, the second was when I finished uni altogether. It’s interesting as I ponder why I got them. It was a bit of a group bonding exercise, to fit in, be apart of the group, but also for recognition – look what I have. I was quite clever to making them small and unobtrusive. I would have never admitted at the time that that was the reason why I was getting them. It would have been I just want one. Sounds like a kid in a lolly shop doesn’t it. “I want one!” I have since had the 2 that I had removed and I would never now even consider the thought of getting another one.
I have complied many times with whatever the current ‘fashion’ happens to be which has mostly been in direct opposition to what my body is telling me or what I feel supports me. It is great to talk about this openly – giving us all more space to consider before we leap blindly in with the crowd.
I find the rise in Tattoos extraordinary and particularly because the tattoo parlours always feel very heavy to me, plus the concept of something that is painfully etched into your skin never appealed to me. Now I know there is so much more to it and your blog has given me much greater understanding of why people have them. Thank you Nicole.
When we have self acceptance there’s no need to go looking for it elsewhere. What you say here Nicole really sums it up: “The need to hide behind something or someone was falling away. I realised it was ok for me to just be me, and that the only person that needed to accept me, was me.”
‘Or did they allow me to focus on something else on my body – rather than on my body itself?’ Reading this sentence I realised that when I see someone with a tattoo my eyes are drawn to that area in particular taking me away from seeing the whole person. It might be only for a moment but it feels like an important one to notice, for how can we connect to the whole person when we are focussing on a very small part that isn’t who they are anyway?
Wonderful how you describe your process of going from tattoos all over and back to you and your body. Our bodies reflect who we are and a layer of tattoos indeed show something of not appreciating our bodies. You show there is another way. Thank you.
I find it interesting how tattoos have become part of self-image. Until fairly recently in our history they were always associated with specific purpose, such as for ritual in indigenous cultures, or for the control of mass populations like with concentration camp victims. How have we come to use this very specific form of marking the body as a way to denote attractiveness and perhaps even self worth?
Even when punching a little hole in my earlobe felt gross to me, there still was something about tattoos that was attracting me – and that was a recognition, an identification that I believed I would get from getting them. I did think about getting one, but just an idea of chiseling my body with a needle never appealed to me. So it was a clear yes from my mind, and a clear no from my body. As it turned out getting tattoos was just not my gig, I chose other fillers for my emptiness – alcohol, emotions, spiritual pursuits etc. – just as addictive and harmful.
I love this, Fumiyo: “So it was a clear yes from my mind, and a clear no from my body.”
This describes the process so well, that in every moment we have a choice, to listen to our mind, or to our body, and the choice is always clear.
Yes the same for me, sometimes I like the idea but not the reality. It makes me realise how I can let an idea become a reality and then regret it. It pays to check if we are being caught up in the mind and it’s fantasies and to feel how this translates in the body and what that feels like.
I never could understand why anyone would want to mutilate their beautiful skin with a tattoo but your blog, Nicole has given me insight into this and I can now understand what motivates people to do this. I see that I had a judgment about people who are addicted to tattoos but they are no different than many of us who have a need to hide behind some form of protection because we do not accept ourselves as we are. Tattooing is just one way of playing this game.
Yes, Sandra, that is one of the many great things about this blog – that insight and understanding are offered without judgement, allowing us to see deeper than the skin, to the fact that we are all the same, on the inside.
Thank you Nicole for your honest account here. It never made sense to me why people got tattoos but through reading your blog I now have a deeper understanding. People wanting to hide, to distract from the fact they may not feel enough as they are. What is incredibly sad is that tattooing is becoming more and more widespread with tattoos becoming larger and more outlandish as time goes on. It really signifies we are going in the wrong direction, we are not developing as human beings, we are actually going backwards as a society. This is shocking and needs to be addressed with love and understanding not judgement or condemnation. Beautiful that you are one of those few leading the way, to healing your hurts and reclaiming the amazing, gorgeous woman you always were.
Tattoos have become so normal, that we don’t even question each other the ‘why’ question. It is the same with alcohol, smoking, watching TV, porn or over eating. These are all things that are accepted and seen as normal. But if nobody asks the question any longer of why we do this and we just let it be, then aren’t we all part of this self created normal? And if fact, aren’t we all responsible for this rise in tattoos?
In the newspaper yesterday, the new Apple watch is not responding to the Light needed on some people who have tattoos. They say the tattoo ink is not allowing the light in which is needed for the watch to work.
Does that mean that the tattoo ink is harming our body if it is not allowing the light in?
Well this is very interesting.
What is this actually saying to us?
What could we learn from this?
Could it be that simple?
Wow Bina very interesting. What is the true effect tattoos has on our bodies physiologically?vThe fact that they block out light speaks volumes.
Perfectly said Bina and Anne
Very fascinating and pertinent observation Bina. Truth is very simple and this is another example of how it shines through in everything if you can see it – even Apple watches.
Yes, I read this too Bina Pattel about the apple light watches – I agree with your questions and yes, I feel it definitely is just this simple – tattoo ink is harming to our bodies.
“Does that mean that the tattoo ink is harming our body if it is not allowing the light in?
Well this is very interesting.
What is this actually saying to us?
What could we learn from this?
Could it be that simple?”
The person who is removing my tattoos has told me repeatedly that when we have a tattoo our bodies are constantly trying to heal it as it is foreign and not part of the body. So all this work has to go into fighting the tattoo but the body will never win. The poor body! But we are not even aware that this happening. They are foreign and the body sees them as an illness and will forever do what it can to bring the body back to harmony.
Pretty horrific all the implications of having a tattoo.
I got a tattoo on my left breast because I thought it was trendy and it was easier to do that at the time, then deal with my self loathing. It was a statement. I would wear a low cut dress and flash my tattoo and think I was feeling great about myself. Now I realise it was a statement saying that I did not feel that just me being me was enough.
Wow Nicole, what an inspiring and honest blog. You are so gorgeous in your photo, it is hard to imagine that you could ever need to obliterate your natural beauty with tattoos on your body.
Yes, you have ‘nailed it’ with this powerful sentence, it is all about lack of acceptance of ourselves –
“Could using tattoo to make your body more beautiful mean you don’t accept yourself as beautiful to begin with”
It is such a much needed blog on tattoos Nicole. Thank you for exposing the reality behind tattoos going beyond the fashion accessory. The process of tattooing is a much painful and degrading one and it shows a lot about the state of our self-care and self-love as a humanity.
Nicole, as you say tattoos are now so common and widely spread that there are no questions asked about why we choose to inject our bodies with a permanent mark. The revelation of the tattoos being a cover up and a way to try and surpass feelings of lack of self worth is hugely important and a big tell tale of where we are generally in relationships with ourselves.
Tattoos are seemingly turning into an epidemic, and no, it does not have the obvious rebellious air it once did but there is still something rebellious about it, in the sense that there must be a significant force or drive involved to override and disregard our bodies and cover them with symbols, words and images that mask us and impose on us. We actually rebel against our natural way of being. Does the increase in tattoos express a deeper, very worrying trend that more and more of us are deeply unsatisfied with our lives, and so we seek tattoos and other devices to numb ourselves from our true natural state of being?
Thank you Nicole, as I am going to remove my tattoos soon, I have felt as you have similarly expressed that getting tattoos was a way to confirm that we are not enough. I did not want to feel the nakedness of what’s truly going on in my body then, so tattoos became my way of distraction, an attempt to express the truth I knew but did not live–because I alienated my body. And how true that they are addictive! My choice to remove the tattoos now come from the fact that I no longer feel unworthy or not enough. In fact, what my tattoos represented do not present true truth and that feels super disharmonious on the body now that removing them is a necessity.
Adele, that comment is fantastic. People often ask me why I am bothering to get my tattoos removed when they are in places that are hidden on my body that no one sees. I see them and I feel them and I don’t like them and for those reasons and more I am having them removed. “What my tattoos represented do not present true truth and that feels super disharmonous on the body now that removing them is a necessity”. Spot on!
Thank you Nicole. There is so much that we use to up our self worth and make us feel more beautiful and it often comes with pain and costs a lot of money. It is really high time that we as a humanity learn to appreciate ourselves more to let the beauty out that is already there. No more looking at the imperfections and striving for the ideals that can never be reached anyway. Wake up world, we are naturally beautiful, lets put our true glasses on and start to see the beauty that is there.
“I realised it was ok for me to just be me, and that the only person that needed to accept me, was me.” Spot on Nicole, that realisation is key in giving up any of those things we might use to make us ‘more acceptable’ – to both ourselves and in the (perceived) eyes of others.
From Addiction to Self Acceptance – wow that really hit home to me today. I know I can repeat eat and over indulge, usually with nuts and I have thought this was like an addictive behaviour yet this morning I could feel the extent of this in my body and I felt really sick in my stomach and then other areas began to show themselves with signs of unease, tension, aches and irritations. I feel like my body has been given permission to feel more deeply what I am doing to it in the way I am choosing to be with myself . This addictive type of energy comes from not accepting myself, of not being enough – of not letting one handful of nuts be enough – or maybe one or two be enough when they truly are. This is me not being truly present with myself, for myself…and simply accepting the tender, sensitive and precious woman I am.
Thank you Nicole for sharing the cause underlying why so many people get tattoos and the addiction to get more and more. This shows to me that there are so many people who do not accept the beauty of who they truly are.
Thanks Nicole for bringing some understanding as to why people would choose to have tatoos.
Thank you Nicole for explaining so clearly the drive behind getting a tattoo and how that then becomes addictive and how you came to realise that it was a form of protection when you were unable to find acceptance of your body as it was. It is so beautiful to read how this has changed for you as you made more and more choices that were supportive and allowed you to reconnect to your inner beauty.
Sharing your experience is so important with our current explosion in tattooing and the younger and younger ages that this is happening at.
Could using tattoo to make your body more beautiful mean you don’t accept yourself as beautiful to begin with….this observation you made flawed me in its simplicity and power.
So much of what we do can be done just for acceptance, but is harmful and destructive to our being. If we were offered the contract that we unknowingly take out when we tattoo ourselves, we at very least have the opportunity to truly accept, or not, just what comes when we tattoo any part of our body.
Nicole, your transformation is so lovingly honest. It has given me a new perspective on tattoos, that they can be addictive, a way of hiding the body and a form of protection. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing your experiences Nicole, and revealing your reasons for having tattoos. I feel we will see an explosion in tattoo removal in the years to come when people realise that the tattoo is a marker on their physical body of where they were at when they got it…and that may not be such a great place – who wants a permanent reminder of that?
You raise an interesting point with regard to permanence Sandra. We know that our bodies reflect our choices, and we also know that by changing our choices we have the grace to heal the ill effects of our choices, i.e. nothing is really permanent. It seems to me that tattoos are in a way an attempt to over turn that grace, to give our bad choices some permanence. But ultimately, love wins, so whilst physically a tattoo may be having a degree of permanence, and be hard to remove, and whilst they are very destructive, they cannot, and will not ultimately take away the grace that will always be ours. Tattoo or not, the choice to come back to a more loving way of being is always ours. Of coarse, it may take a very long time for us to choose this.
I have found it particularly shocking to grow up through college witnessing many people the same age as me from 14-17 getting tattoos. For a tattoo shop to even do a tattoo on anyone I actually consider quite abusive because of what it does to your body, let alone a young teenager. There seems to be a huge lack of responsibility that is being taken to young people and their decisions to get tattoos, even teachers at school notice the tattoos on students and yet they turn a complete blind eye, it is actually inadvertently encouraged.
It is great to get a teenagers perspective on this much needed modern day subject – Thank You Oliver Snelgrove.
I have realised how much I used to judge people with tattoos and at one point I was scared. I used to see their eyes and they seemed vacant, dark and it was like they were empty in some way. I was reacting to this as I had zero understanding. Thank God over the years I have developed more awareness about why people do what they do and this has helped me in my judgements.
We do not know their childhood, we do not know anything about them, we do not know the choices that led them to having tattoos, we do not have a clue what is going on inside their mind and yet we judge. This is what has helped me to understand those who have tattoos and those who choose to live differently to how I live.
With a deeper understanding about other people, I find myself reacting less and this has really helped me.
This is awesome Nicole, and well worth being shared. I too had tattoos, for a couple of years. I got two in my thirties, then after attending a Universal Medicine workshop and presentation I could feel for me they were a form of abuse. Not long after this I choose to get them removed, this is completely finished and it feels amazing to no longer have them. I feel so much clearer in the sense it was almost like that part of my body wasn’t really me, it was letting something in. After the very first removal session, sitting at home that night, gently rubbing cream on the tattoo, I started to cry, these tears came from somewhere very deep inside. It was nothing to do with the stinging feeling from the session, but the fact I could feel, where my tattoos were was no different to someone who chose to self harm. It was the same self abuse I had chosen to do this in.
Great comment Gyl, a testament showing the world that tattooing is very similar to self-harming. Our bodies are worth much more than that. It deserves every tender and loving touch and every support it can get.
Great comment Gyl. I am in the process of removing mine and I have had to revisit where I was at when I chose to get both tattoos. Each tattoo was like a stamp of who and where I was at at that time in my life and they were both quite momentous times of my life. At the time I got them I thought I would always want that stamp of where and who I was. But as I have come to care for myself and love myself more I can see how I no longer want that stamp. I will always have been that person that I was but I do not need to hold onto that and it feels the tattoos energetically represent that for me so I am continually exposed to that and they hold my body in that place. Coming to terms with where I was at when I chose to get both of them had involved a deep amount of honesty and one which I am still working on.
Great sharing Gyl and great that you allowed yourself to feel this and clear the self abusive energy.
Me too Gyl – I felt it like that too, the self harm out of a need to belong – so sad. Now that I have started the removal process I already feel it has no meaning for me any longer.
It has been a revelation for me that having tattoos is addictive. Thank you for sharing this.
Yes, same here, but it makes so much sense. And it makes me wonder: what else are we addicted to but do not see it as an addiction?
Absoutely Elizabeth for me too and it is also a reminder of how what we seek from outside of us can never fulfil us and therefore will always need to be repeated.
For me Tattoos were always like a jewellery on the skin, but I did not like the idea that you can’t take them off like you can with a jewellery. Once you have it, you have it for your whole lifetime. This felt like I would sell myself to something, which anyway is not me and so I chose not to have a tattoo. Your article, Nicole is very revealing as it opens us up to see the tattoos from different angles and how there can be an addiction with them. It feels like tattoos would make us more beautiful or more powerful or more special, but in truth they numb us in order to confirm that we don’t feel enough without them.
Having never had a tattoo and from a generation when they were a rarity I have not been able to understand the present attraction for them other than them being the latest fad, I find your blog extremely informative and illuminating. Thank you Nicole as it enables me to have a much greater understanding not only about tattoos but also of the nature of addictions.
I did consider at times to get a tattoo because I thought it is really cool to have Celtic tattoos. But there was a part in me that didn’t want a tattoo and I am very glad to have listened to it. It might have been the the painful procedure or an inner Knowing that tattoos are not supportive for our bodies as we have an energetic imprint from another person on our skin.
I also wanted a tattoo at one stage but there was something inside me that knew not to trust this, the feeling was wrong even thought I thought with my head that they looked cool. I’m so glad I trusted my feelings. There is nothing more beautiful than clear clean skin.
Nicole you share so much with us in your blog, thank you.
“I used to think my tattoos beautified my body; that my body was not beautiful enough without something else. Clothes, shoes and accessories were one thing, but once they were gone, my body remained, raw, uncovered and exposed – a body not accepted, a body always needing ‘to be improved upon’, to fit the unrealistic picture the media constantly presents to us. I see now that I was using tattoos as a way to hide my body and myself, and as a form of protection.”
I understand through your blog that tattoos are used to compensate lack of self worth and a missing connection to our own bodies.
This is an important issue, thank you Nicole for shining the light on it. I always thought that people with tattoos just want to show how tough and proud they are, and I felt pushed away by that. But you go deeper to expose the vulnerability and fear of not being good enough, and that confirms again that we are all the same, with just different ways to distract ornumb ourselves.
I can relate to feeling pushed away by people’s tattoos and this makes so much more sense now that what I was picking up was the hiding away that is going on behind the apparent desire to stand out and be noticed.
It’s very true, tattoos do push people away. It’s as though a tattoo is a commitment to keep people away and the force of that apparent repellant is quite strong. Having an understanding changes how it feels to be on the receiving end.
Helen I love the contrast you have seen here. That the loudness of the tattoo is actually a hiding away of who people are. This fact is rarely discussed or even realised. And this is just one area where this contrast in communication is happening.
Ariana, good on you for naming this skin obsession as abusive.
I agree Sally, for when we truly feel how precious we are, anything other than utter love, deep care and nurturing of our bodies is abuse.
Looking at it from the other direction, it’s probably a good thing that tattoos are permanent and very painful to remove. It means that at some point in one’s life, the realization of harmful past choices is going to be so in-your-face strong that it will be a good lesson in choices for the future. Tough way to do it though!
Hi Nicole, I love what you write “No matter how many tattoos I had, once the thrill and excitement of my new tattoo wore off, I was left with the same old feeling of worthlessness, a lack of respect for and acceptance of myself”. It’s like any addiction or need for a new fashion accessory, it does not hold its value after you have bought it. It is a continuous wait to be recognized or to be looked at.
We wait for others to accept us. It’s so separating because if we do not get it we develop another hurt on top of what is already there, and in reaction we do it more, or purposely withdraw from others and resent more about life and people to now protect more of our worthlessness, instead of feeling our worthlessness to start with. What has worked for me – to actually feel my worthlessness. There is only going up from me and you do it leave it behind.
Great blog Nicole – in the current day and age where tattoos are so normal and accepted, it is great to hear your account about going a lot deeper into the reasons why you got tattooed in the first place – there’s definitely more to it than just a ‘fashion accessory’. I know I used to use my tattoo as part of my identity, and can feel how using that was showing me how I did not accept myself in full just the way I was. I am also getting mine removed now and am loving re-claiming my body back!
For me getting a tattoo was about being seen to be tough. To show that I didn’t need anyone to look after me. It was like I was branding myself. The state of being I was in at the time I got my tattoo really shows me where I was at. I felt the pain of the tattoo being needled into my body but I braced my body, gritted my teeth and pushed through. Really confirming to myself how tough I was or so I thought… Underneath all that so-called toughness I was feeling lost and alone and I realise now that getting a tattoo was another way to isolate myself by adding another layer of protection.
Robyn you echo my thoughts exactly on the reasons I chose to mark myself in this way. I now ask what business does a woman have wanting to be so tough Vs the delicate natural beauty that we are? It’s a no-brainer surely! Thanks also Nicole for sharing your thoughts and experiences.
I had so many reasons why I didn’t want a tattoo that it was never a consideration for me. What you’ve shared Robyn is what I see in a lot of young people with tattoos…they are really sensitive and gorgeous but hurting in some way, and the tattoos are a way of hiding (or trying to). The tattoo creates a ‘noise’ around the person so when I feel them, I have to ‘listen’ more intently to get a feel for them without the ‘noise’ of the tattoo.
I enjoyed your blog Nicole! It would seem we have crossed paths on many occasions having dabbled in all sorts of adventures in search of ourselves. And here we meet again and yes indeed I also dabbled in some painful ink experimentation all in the art of ‘being cool’. The choice to have a tattoo came from a complete emptiness, it came from wanting to fit in and be accepted. I too am in the process of taking my tattoo off and it has been a process of having to feel the level of self abuse it takes to inflict this upon my sensitive and tender body.
Yes Tony, buying a new shirt seems a far cheaper and less painful option as well as being easier to change when the novelty wears off!
I have a good friend who has recently gone through the process of having his tattoos removed. Interestingly, he commented that it has been quite a process for him, as all the emotions that he had when he got the tattoo have been resurfacing as he has had treatments to get the tattoo removed.
Yes that is what I got told as well, with the process to redo the tattoos is a lot coming up – all the emotions that have been dumped into the body with the tattoos.
After my first removal session the thing I most remembered feeling when I first got my tattoo, near to 20 years prior, was the initial shock I was in, having just sat through the hour and a half long process. What amazed me about this memory was how quickly I then overrode that shock to go into the awe of what that part of body now held. Completely disconnecting from my body even further than I was before I’d begun.
Thank you Nicole for your explanation of why you chose to have tattoos. Really interesting, your sharing that it became an addiction. As an older woman, I usually was aware that the main people who had tattoos had been or were servicemen, such as those in the Navy, particularly those who had travelled widely. It seemed to be a badge of acknowledgment of their travels. It was seldom seen in the general population. It has totally bemused me over the last 20 years or so, and more so recently, to see so many people of all ages now proudly displaying their tattoos. I must admit that I have never liked it, it always felt awful to me.
But your explanation shows a very different reason for wanting to have a tattoo. I can see now how a lack of acceptance of who one truly is can lead to one using the tattoo to cover up that lack. It certainly appears to be an epidemic now in our society, how sad that people feel that they have to cover themselves up, in effect they are hiding from who they truly are.
And the tattoos seem to have a gripping effect as well, at least that is what I feel when I look at them
I’d always thought that it would have been fun to have had a small tattoo but never had the courage to get one. I’m so pleased that I never found that courage. I’d never thought of them as being addictive and that’s quite scary. I’ve had enough addictions. What an inspiring message – thank you Nicole.
I too found what you shared very insightful Nicole, as I had never considered tattoos were a way of hiding ones body or as a means of protection – but that really makes a lot of sense. With so many people feeling lost in life – no wonder there has been such a dramatic increase in the number of people getting tattoos. Thanks for sharing your deepening awareness it is something many people will benefit from.
Nicole you’ve given me a much deeper understanding of tattoos. I really get how they can distract a person from feeling how they’re not loving being in the skin/body they are in and how the distraction from this is short-lived and requires extra tattoos to distract or dealing with the feelings of worthlessness.
I loved reading about your appreciation of yourself which is continuously expanding and unbound by aging – another social Achilles heel whereby women especially aren’t celebrated as they get older. It’s really beautiful to feel the love and acceptance of yourself you now have, very inspiring.
Beautifully expressed Nicole, from the simplicity and love of a woman who has chosen to accept herself, just as she is.
Thank you Nicole, what a great insight into your motivation and mindset behind getting a tatoo. I don’t think most people are that aware of why they did or still do it! It is very revealing to me. I didn’t really have an understanding as to why very young people are wanting to get them now. Also, I’ve seen a new product, which is using gorgeous, pretty gold filigree designs, very ornate. It looks like expensive jewelry-I was even drawn to it. It has a striking look on the skin, very alluring. All designed to hook you into buying it and putting it all over your body. My students as young as Year 4 are getting them and putting them on in hidden places on their bodies. It’s very concerning, when you begin to look deeper into the truth of the motivations underneath the choice to get them. Awesome revealing sharing. Thank you!
Thanks for sharing so openly about your addiction. As I read this, I thought of many friends who like you, get addicted and not long after the latest tattoo, they are already planning the next. I have come close to getting a tattoo, but luckily I never went there. Now that I see them everywhere, I would never ever want one. For me it would have been more to be different or to rebel.
I also like how you exposed you connection of tattoos to your lack of self worth and self acceptance.
The thoughts that run through my mind that I am not good enough just as I am can be so crippling, but thanks to what I have learnt from Universal Medicine presentations and from the inspiration from Serge and Natalie Benhayon, those thoughts are less and less these days. I have had to learn the difference between what I am and what I do, and that I am definitely not what I do plus many other valuable lessons.
A most invaluable lesson, to learn the difference between who we are and what we do. Much is lost in identifying with what we do, and much is covered up. When we learn to accept who we truly are there is no longer the need to hide behind the what we do anymore.
I find it very revealing to hear that the tattoo is an addiction to hide something for yourself and others, filling up the holes we left open when coping with life. It is an amazing thing you now opened up and don’t need to cover anything up, because the hole is filled with who you are.
‘To know that I am what is within’ – such a great reminder to look within and be with me. Thank you
I can remember 8 years ago tattoo shops were a dark alley-way hidden away type of shop. Now there are tattoo shops on the main street that openly advertise tattoos. Boy has the the industry changed in such a short space of time!
Yes I agree Joshua that tattoo shops where in a hidden alley in the past and today they are popping up everywhere.
I recently have seen some on high streets working alongside in hairdressers.
A recent documentary left me in no doubt that tattoos become highly addictive for many and its like they just can’t stop until every part of their body has a tattoo. One guy had no space left so he was having his head tattooed.
I have wondered when I see their eyes are they seeking some form of recognition?
I say this as you sure get noticed on a train when you are covered in tattoos on your head and neck.
Nicole I wonder if the explosion in the number of people getting tattoos and also the number of people having plastic surgery is merely a reflection of how disconnected we are from our inner truth. Surely if we were solid in who we knew ourselves to be we would not have a need for our outside appearance to be altered so as to make a statement about who we believe ourselves to be. If we were deeply connected to who we are in truth then the way we chose to dress etc would be an extension of the person that we are on the inside. I know that people with tattoos do feel that there tattoos reflect them but what is it really that is being reflected ?
Thank you Nicole for this timely article on tattoos , isn’t a tattoo the same as branding your body and a brand is a mark that denotes being owned by someone or some other entity as a company or a belief etc? Would we tattoo our bodies if we accepted or claimed our self and with it the responsibility of having the beautiful amazing bodies we have been given, would we mark them with a tattoo?
Some great points you raise here Paul. I say no, we would not mark our bodies with a tattoo if, ‘we accepted or claimed our self and with it the responsibility of having the beautiful amazing bodies we have been given’.
Fully with you there Tony – I’m way too sensitive for these things.
There seems to be something at play here in everyone’s sharing of their tattoos and why they got them…
Step 1: disconnect from your true self
Step2: experience the ‘void’ this creates
Step 3: seek to ‘belong’ again
Step 4: look outward
Step 5: see others who are also lost
Step 6: seek to have what they have ‘got’
Step 7: join them in the delusion you have reconnected
Step 8: still feel lost
Step 9: start again
This cycle could endlessly repeat, explaining the addictive nature of tattoos (or insert any substance, behaviour or belief here) until such a time as one realizes that not only are they playing a game but also maybe the game is playing them…
It is a great observation Liane, of the addictive impact of disconnection and feeling lost then choosing to look for something on the outside to fix this. But something outside can only ever give us a brief perception of feeling better, then invariably we end up in the same place feeling lost. A vicious cycle until we wake up and realize it is the connection to the love within us that we are missing.
Nicole, I love your awareness how your tattoos became about being accepted and being protected. Having always wanted to be ‘inked’ but never succumbing to the impulse, my new motto is simply: no tattoo is the new tattoo – love is our best form of ‘protection’.
Or: Clean skin is the new black!
Way to go Nicole! It’s interesting you list shopping in the things we can be addicted to list – it’s something I have been exploring and it is clear to me that all these things addictions come from exactly the same place, despite some ‘seeming’ more extreme than others.
So true Jennifer. So many socially acceptable addictions are still used to hide, change and distract ourselves from truly knowing ourselves from the inside out. A distraction from knowing our true power and light.
‘It is clear to me that all these things addictions come from exactly the same place, despite some ‘seeming’ more extreme than others’, I agree Jenifer and I have fallen for the trap of judging someone on their addiction whilst being addicted myself to something that I too am using to temporarily cover up my internal discomfort. I have been addicted to many of the so called ‘healthy hobbies’ (exercise, yoga, meditation etc) and smeared over the top of my hidden addiction has been a rather sickening dose of superiority. Not an ounce of truth in any of it, all of it kept me in separation from myself and therefore from everybody else.
Great point Fiona, looking back when I chose to get a tattoo it was at a time when I was at a very low point of self-worth and having the tattoo I now see was just another form of abuse I chose to put my body through.
So beautiful to be getting it removed and to see it fading along with a deepening of the honouring of my body and a true building of my self worth.
Thank you Nicole for opening this very important topical conversation. Initially, I understood that tattoos signified initiation into warrior status, as with the Maories; a formidable tough exterior. A far cry from the picture you present of addictive self abuse as a covering of the amazing delicate woman that you have come to know. These days it’s very beautiful to see the delicate clear skin of the person who has no tattoos.
I have wondered why people chose to be tattooed, now from this blog I have more understanding, it is just another way of not accepting ourselves. There are so many different ways we choose to go looking for recognition from others and tattoos are just another of these ways. I really like the way you have finished off this blog by claiming “I accept and appreciate the body I have, no matter how it may look”.
It’s interesting when Nicole says that tattoos have gained wide-reaching acceptance with a broad spectrum of people now being tattooed, which makes people not different to each other in the end. Tattoos are about trying to be an individual and unique in your self expression…but if everyone is doing it – you are still the same as everyone else.
It is tragic that there’s such an increase in tattoos and as you say Nicole, tattoos that now cover whole limbs and part of the body, shutting down and covering up the natural delicateness that we all innately have, because of a deep-seated seed of not feeling enough just as who we are. I got a tattoo some years back when I was desperate for approval from my then peer group. I remember the addictive nature, the high, the thrill at looking at this tattoo on my hip. It gave me a big relief from the inadequacy I felt about myself and my body. But of course it didn’t solve anything, and now my body had the markings on it from something that didn’t truly belong to me. Going through a tattoo removal process has meant uncovering what I was always shying away from — me.
This is spot on Katerina, “shutting down and covering up the natural delicateness that we all innately have, because of a deep-seated seed of not feeling enough just as who we are”, there are so many ways in which we do this, I drank and smoked because I did not feel enough as I was. I no longer do this because I now love and care for myself and no longer feel the emptiness that I once did thanks to the inspiration from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
As a young boy I used to absolutely detest other kids drawing on my arms in school – this early form of tattooing always felt imposing and I insisted to teachers that I needed to scrub the imposing ink off. It was my body and no one was allowed to draw, scribble or taint it. I never went down the route of tattoos but have observed the way in which my lovely wife has gone through the process of removing tattoos and seeing them sit upon her – absolutely not her in any way shape or form but having a stamp like ‘your owned’ quality. How many of us across the world are seemingly ‘owned’ by another’s stamp?
Well said Lee. When I had my tattoo it did feel like a constant reminder that someone else had put their stamp on me, and part of me regretted having it done almost instantly. The removal process was a re-claiming back of the part of me that I did not want to connect to at that time.
An interesting point you make, Lee, that if you have a tattoo, it is as if you are owned by that stamp that has been placed on you. I know I have never liked tattoos as they have always seemed to feel an ugly energy around them. It feels as if the energy of the person who did the imprint has been impressed onto the other person’s body.
Tattoos are so normal now, I used to be surprised to see them but now it has become the norm. What does this say about us as a human race? Where are we going with this? And how far will we go until we stop?
So true Shami. It used to be quite rare. Growing up in the eighties it was mainly musicians and pop stars. Its now quite common to see people with extreme tattoos on their necks, full arms and face. Where is this going. Like all addictions it gets more and more extreme. What next?
Thanks Nicole. I hadn’t even thought about tatoos being used as a form of protection, but it makes very good sense. It’s also like the trend in beards, it sometimes feels that it’s an unconsious decision to shy away from the world, to hide behind the mask and slip through the cracks.
Nicole thank you for explaining the addictive nature of tattoos. A couple of people I know have had tattoos in recent years and I find it hard to say anything positive about them if asked. I do say that I wouldn’t have one but in truth, I just feel like I want to scrub them off! Somehow they feel unclean or something to me. I feel sad that someone with beautiful young skin would deface it like this and then have to live with this image or images when they may have long grown out of what this represents.
Thanks for this blog Nicole. I have always felt tattoos to be a form of self harm, similar to cutting. It’s painful and that pain offers the person some kind of relief or rush that makes them feel good momentarily. I could always feel when people around me were choosing them that it wasn’t about them being liberated or empowered, but about covering up some kind of pain or hurt. I often wondered if someone felt really good about themselves – would go and get a tattoo? As you’ve pointed out, if someone feels enough as they are, and is deeply connected with themselves, there is no need for anything more. I remember in my early 20’s when friends were getting tattoos, I said ‘Maybe if my mum dies, then I’ll get one to remember her’… but what I was really feeling was that at that time, that was the most painful experience I could imagine… & getting a tattoo would in some way help me through the process or offer me some kind or relief. It was a way of dealing with the pain.
Making the link between self harm and tattoos makes so much sense when you describe it Brooke, I can feel the connection of the addiction and how tattoos are used to cover up hurts.
You make such a profound comment here Brooke from your lived experience – thank you.
I know what you are saying is true as a recent documentary on tattoos in the UK focussed on the person getting a tattoo on the death of a loved one and in this case it was their dog and it was in memory so the person would never forget his ‘best friend’. I wondered at the time if it was a’ process to offer some kind of relief and a way of dealing with the pain’ as you say Brooke.
What is really obvious is that Tattoos are a growing industry and its become a fashion statement just like body piercing.
Great point Brooke. If someone felt really good about themselves would they get a tattoo? If we felt enough there would be not need to alter, and ultimately hide.
Great blog Nicole, we need more people speaking out about tattoos. They are so common place now, a reflection of how disconnected we are as a society to our inner beauty, our self worth, our sense of purpose in the world. The abuse of the body through tattoos is a symptom of a greater disease, and most certainly not cool.
Nicole, when we were younger, we thought it was cool to have tattoos, and it was the in thing to do.
As we grew older and wiser we look back and think what was I doing to my body by having all that coloured dye inserted into my body.
If as youngsters we realised what we were worth, and accepted being an awesome soul, we wouldn’t have inflicted our bodies to the pain of tattoos.
Fantastic you are free of that addiction, and accept yourself for who you truly are.
Thanks Nicole for putting into words how I have felt about tattoos. They look hard to me, no matter what the image, how colourful etc. So to hear you say it’s a form of protection, makes total sense. Great conversations to be having with our kids.
I am having my tattoos removed by Dr Anne Malatt too. This process has been so revealing and I know that tattoos are no longer for me and will never be again. I was totally not myself when I made this choice years ago.
Isn’t that just the ultimate illusion Sally, that our tattoos are for us… but how can they be when we were absent in the energetic sense when we made the decision to get them in the first place?
For me there certainly was a link between self-worth and tattoos. I got a tattoo when my self-worth was at an all-time low. Back then it was not acceptable for a woman to have a tattoo in fact it was barely acceptable for a man to have a tattoo and certainly wasn’t sociable acceptable like it is these day. On reflection looking back 38 years after I had my tatoo surgically removed I know I used my tattoo for shock value and to keep people away from me.
What came to me as I read this was a question about the different ways I have hidden or tried to numb myself from life. I did not want tattoos but I did use other things to seek an escape and a way to not feel the pain I felt. I now am much more aware of the truth, that my true way of being comes from within and I am good enough just the way I am. The layers of protection are slowly being removed and I have become much more open and confident living in the world. This has without doubt been supported by attending Universal Medicine presentations.
I agree Samantha, I too wondered about the different ways I had chosen to numb and protect myself as I read this article. Like you I did not want tattoos, but chose different ways to not feel the anguish and pain. I am now choosing to let the protection go so that the true tender beautiful woman that I am can be felt.
I can feel why we get tattoo’s, the thrill of a ‘new’ identity can be initially a rush. People I know who have a tattoo do talk about their wish to not have it or it was something they did when they were young and caught in the moment. I considered one whilst on my backpacking days, but never could bring myself to do it. The phases of popularity are definitely worth exploring as in this case, we can be left with a permanent reminder of our emptiness.
“Now I am able to look at myself in the mirror and see and feel me and the body I am in – not the tattoos I chose to hide behind.” so often in life we hide benching certain things in order to not show who we truly are
Nicole it was really interesting reading about how tattoos can become an addiction like so many other things. Personally I’ve never seen the appeal or understood why people would get a tattoo but this has certainly helped me understand some of the reasons and be less judgemental. What I also find interesting is that similar reasons meant I become addicted to other things like alcohol, recreational drugs, parties but all because I never accepted myself. To consider tattoos now as something so normal that you are abnormal to not have one makes me question how many other people are not content in themselves or don’t consider themselves naturally beautiful?
I was always too scared of the permanence a tattoo has and I am glad I never choose to get one. I interestingly read your blog and thank you for the realization and sharing why you personally got the tattoos. I am sure if people would read your blog before getting a tattoo, they would definitely think twice before getting it or at least would stop for a minute to rethink the choice of getting one.
What a ride Nicole. Luckily I never got any. I remember the topic came up when I was younger but felt that never would I want to spoil the natural beauty of the body that I had. I remember myself saying that, quite cute actually.
I have never considered a tattoo, but I never considered why I would get a physical reaction upon seeing someone’s tattoo.. I saw it as disfiguring and as a non flexible identification, like wearing the same jumper every day. Now I have a deeper understanding of what I was feeling … and recognising the deep pain at seeing the need to identify outside of ourselves . Thank you Nichole for this deeper insight.
Lately I have been feeling some of the destructive choices I have made in the past, although in truth they were not real choices but a reaction to the hurts I was not wanting to look at and heal. When we react to our hurts we seem able to do very abusive things to our bodies, it’s absolutely amazing to start the journey of self-love and care and appreciate myself for that. Through the care and guidance of the teachings of Serge Behayon this has been possible in my life.
Thank you Nicole for your inspirational blog.
Thank you for revealing what was behind your addiction to tattoos, Nicole. I had not seen that they could be a way of hiding yourself and your body. Awesome to hear that you are now free of this addiction and in full acceptance of your gorgeous physical body.
Yes Coleen there is a question to ask here – ‘Why would we cover up the natural beauty of our body?’
This is a great sharing Nicole. Looking beyond the surface of tattoos to the the reasons why we feel the need to add, dress up and distract from our bodies. Its so great that you have gone deeper with this and exposed the lack of self worth that accompanies so many practices that we take on to fit in, be accepted, seen in a certain light etc. while I didn’t ever get a tattoo I used many other ways to cover up my lack of self worth. I used clothes, alcohol and partying to be seen in a certain way to create an identity that was cool and trendy. These are all practices and addictions that remove us further and further from our beautiful natural selves. Letting go of these and coming back to the simplicity of simply being me and loving myself just the way I am is a humbling and beautiful thing.
You have my full admiration, Nicole, to go through the process of tattoo removal. You have to have a deep level of dedication and it is precious to me that you claim your body so lovingly.
I didn’t ever get a tattoo, thank goodness. My dad was always dead set against them and this stopped me. I remember being on a hens weekend where the women would have tattoos done and I was tempted but never went through with it. When I was in my mid-20s a friend of mine wanted a tattoo and I went with her. I watched as the tattooist dragged the needle across her skin and she started bleeding, she squeezed my hand tightly with the pain and I nearly fainted and had to crouch down.
Thank you Natalie for your vivid and educating description ! What is urging us as a race to punish ourselves in such a horrible and masochistic way ? Our skin is so naturally tender that it only deserves to be touched tenderly and lovingly.
Great description Natalie of just how self harming tattoo’a are and how this is overridden by the need to fit in and be accepted.
Ouch! Such a graphic description of the reality of tattoos. Enough to put anyone off!
It’s interesting isn’t it that tattoos are usually seen as a ‘cool’ thing to have and provide another identity to be known by. In my twenties I kind of wanted a tattoo but could never actually bring myself to go through with it. Something was warning me off. I’m so pleased I never did. I’m learning to love my body just the way it is.
This is such a great expose into the hugely popular world of tattoo-ing. It is not until we truly learn to appreciate our selves and our own bodies that we are able to see the harm we cause through the seemingly harmless choices we make. What has always struck me about tattoos is the permanence of them, yet this too seems to have lost its weight in the ever increasing ‘act now, think later’ way in which our society is progressing.
“why, I did not know, nor did I ever bother to stop and question this need at that time.” This statement is so true about so many things, especially those things we become addicted to. The mere thought of stopping to feel what is going on is too frightening at the time, it would mean really facing all the deep feelings we don’t want to feel. Universal Medicine gives us the foundation to embrace all that we are and recognise these feelings and so they do not have power over us any more, because we also come to know the bigger, more glorious us deep within. Your description of your life with your family, and the light shining out of your eyes in your photo are a testament to the value of this work, Nicole, thank you.
Thank you Nicole for sharing and allowing us in on reasons behind acquiring tattoos and the addictive nature they have. I have never been interested in having a tattoo myself but I now have greater clarity of why people choose to have tattoos. Tattoos are a major fashion statement at the moment. But what are tattoos really stating to the world?
Nicole, it was very interesting to read your blog. Having never had a tattoo before, I didn’t realise that you could even get addicted to them. I also couldn’t relate to why people would want them – but you have given me a greater understanding of why people may choose to get one, an explanation that I can relate to my experience of some people my age who are getting tattoos.
That was new to me too Jessica. I had never thought about addictions and tattoos going together. Our society has become so good at turning what really is an addiction and quite harmful to the body to being ‘trendy and cool’. Drinking, taking drugs, smoking, tattoos, gaming, the list goes on and on . . .
It’s interesting how in the end the tattoos were about hiding, however if you ask anyone who has a tattoo their most common response is that ‘it identifies me’ (i.e. so I stand out) completely contrasting effects, yet the same.
Great article Nicole. I don’t have a tattoo and I could never understand the seeming fascination with them but you clarified for me that it is just another addiction along with many others. I smoked cigarettes and marijuana for many years with the exact feeling/reaction you describe in the following sentence. “No matter how many tattoos I had, once the thrill and excitement of my new tattoo wore off, I was left with the same old feeling of worthlessness, a lack of respect for and acceptance of myself.” Thank you for bringing up this issue with understanding and clarity, for the epidemic of tattoos and self abuse needs to be seen for what it is.
Tattoos have become such a fashion icon that children are encouraged to have them through stickers and such like. On the surface it seems to be harmless, but what is it encouraging? As you say Rosemary “for the epidemic of tattoos and self abuse needs to be seen for what it is.”
A great sharing here Nicole and I relate well to it. I had the small tattoo in my early 20’s and I wore it as a badge and found myself showing it off at every opportunity as if I would be accepted more for it and look tough and different. Over the years I grew to be annoyed by it as it came to feel that it did not fit on my body anymore and frustrated because I could not get it off and so I went through covering it up and feeling ashamed of it. I am in the process of having it removed by laser treatment and although painful at times, it is a lovely process of letting go of all that the tattoo stood for. My badge of acceptance and attention became my badge of disgust which I have had to now embrace and accept as part of what I did along the deviation away from me. Because of the intense colours the tattoo is quite stubborn to go but I see this as a direct reflection of the intensity of the energy that I was in at the time I chose to have it done. The tattoo is now fading and looks like a shadow and I feel that in time it will go, although even now I feel more free of it and everything it stood for.
Another really valid point made about tattoos .. what after a few years you don’t like it? You cannot just wipe it away, as it is an timely and expensive process. The other day I heard someone say how you can buy tattooing kits and teenagers were getting them tattooing themselves and others. We have a lot to look at here to see why this has become so ‘normal’.
I love your Blogs so much Nicole and all you share and this one is exceptional in bringing an understanding to the huge increasing trend for tattoos. Not liking our bodies and accepting ourselves makes sense to the addiction and craving for tattoos that is growing everywhere in the world at the moment. Tattoo parlours are appearing everywhere and we are all feeding the demand and it is seriously frightening and disturbing. Your blog brings an insight into what it is really all about and this needs to be widely publicised for all . Espcially for the younger generation to grow up with a more loving appreciation and acceptance of themselves and a true understanding of addictions for us to heal as humanity as a whole.
What a top post Nicole and such great timing as tattoos are really a big thing these days. I saw a documentary recently about tattoos and the viewer was left in no doubt that they are done at a low point in someones life and then the need to want more is where the addiction starts.
I know people who are choosing to have their tattoos removed and they all say the same thing – “it was not a good thing to do” and it was in a ‘moment’ where they were not feeling great about their body and their life in general.
On another note, I live in London and there are tattoo shops everywhere and it is a growing industry. Commuting on the trains, I cannot but observe where people have tattoos – fingers, ears, face, neck and head. These areas of the body are super sensitive for me, so I cannot imagine anything more painful than a stabbing needle with ink. If I was to be totally honest and keep it simple – it feels like abuse to the body, just like any drug.
Is it possible that having a tattoo gives us similar effects to substances like drugs and solvents?
Great point here, Bina, for people to consider at what point in their lives they chose to have a tattoo, as an opportunity to reflect on the purpose of getting one, and whether it was to avoid, distract, protect, punish or numb themselves from what was truly going on.
Yes definitely a conversation to be had Ariana, as tattoos are now very mainstream, some parents even see fit to have their babies tattooed, a huge imposition on an infant who has no say in the matter. It is strange how we accept these self abusive habits without question, like drinking alcohol, no-one seems to stand up and truly claim the real harm they do. Why do we view our skin, the largest organ of the body that plays a huge role in our health as a canvas that we can do what we like with? Even when a tattoo is cleared there will always be a scar, a constant reminder of an un-loving choice and a permanent disfigurement that the skin has to cope with. Nicole’s account is great to read, to gain an understanding of what drives someone to hurt their skin in such a fashion and how this behaviour can be truly healed when one is re-introduced to their true essence.
Well said, Ariana. I have also wondered why there is not a public outcry about the current tattoo trend. It is like a quiet communication that it is ok to self-abuse yourself and disconnect from your sensitivity, while some celebrities are making it seem cool, which in turn could influence the younger generations.
Thanks Nicole for sharing your experience with tattoos. Your article has supported me to understand why people may be drawn to getting tattoos. How gorgeous it is that you now feel your beauty comes from within and not the clothes, jewellery or ink that adorns your skin ~ this is an every day miracle.
Thank you for sharing Nicole, it never occurred to me that people could hide behind tattoos, as I always thought people who had tattoos liked the attention but now that I think of it, it is just like wearing an accessory or style of clothing. I can easily see now how it can become an addiction – very interesting topic.
Julie for me I thought people with tattoos were rebellious, wanting to cause trouble and make a statement. The perception I had, was as if you have a tattoo and you join a hidden underclass of society. The fact that a tattoo is just another way to hide makes it similar to so many other things we do in life when we don’t accept who we are.
I agree with both of you – tattoos have an instant stigma, when really they could be just like the many different things we do to hide.
“I accept and appreciate the body I have, no matter how it may look, and know that I could never become addicted to tattoos again.”- What a beautiful turnaround . Your blog is very inspiring for others who may have fallen into the addiction to get a tattoo and not realise why and the consequences thereafter.
Thank you for being so open and shedding light on the addiction of tattoo’s. I never got a tattoo or even considered it, but did get a belly button piercing, just to look better and have something on my body that made me interesting and cool to others, so I can relate to the accessorizing the body. What an inspiring journey you have had from covering up and hiding behind tattoos to the gorgeous woman you are now.
It is sad to see the ‘normalisation’ that a persons body is never seen to be enough as it is, thus tattoo’s are now championed and rarely opposed to, openly so.
Thank you Nicole for honestly sharing your journey through tattooing. I have never had a tattoo so this presents a great insight and brings to me an understanding as to why people choose to get tattoos. And it is inspiring to feel your powerful return to claiming the truly natural beautiful woman that you undeniably are.
Thank you for helping me to understand why people get tattoos, I have always found them to be disfiguring. It makes a lot of sense that if someone does not accept their body, tattoos provide a way to hide or improve it.
Nicole, you put a fresh perspective on tattoos being a form of protection, how it draws our attention to the tattoo rather than the body and the person behind it. As a teenager I wanted one on my ankle. I thought this would improve my body and my image but realise now that it was so people wouldn’t look at me. I didn’t love my body and I didn’t love me.
Nicole this is an awesome sharing, thank you, and a sharing I feel should be an addition in every magazine. To often tattoos are seen as something trendy and cool yet many are refusing to feel the true reasons behind why they feel the need for a tattoo in the first place. I know when I was thinking about getting one it was at particularly low point in my life.
Wow, Nicole you have really opened my eyes regarding the whole subject of tattoos. I have never really had the urge to have one but didn’t hold a strong opinion either way until a few years ago. I realised that even though people would proudly show off their latest addition, I could never get a sense that the tattoo had increased their ‘beauty’ – they were still returning to live with the same person inside that they had always been. It has all made a lot more sense since attending Universal Medicine presentations and coming to know that self worth/self acceptance is so innately tied to all our behaviours, including our more addictive ones.
Thank you Nicole for shedding a much needed true light on the craze of tattoos. I too recently began the process of tattoo removal with Dr Anne Malatt. After a 5 year deliberation in my early 20s to first get my tattoo, to almost 20 years later once I realised, and could connect with the deeper consequences that that ill choice held for me, the choice to energetically clear the tattoo through tattoo removal was made almost in an instant. I strongly felt after that first removal session that it was the most loving gesture I have shown myself in a long long time.
There are as many ways to hide from ourselves as there are people. I never thought of tattoos in this way Nicole. Thank you for your insight on the matter. It makes me ponder on my chosen ways to disregard myself.
Me too Patricia, Nicole’s blog has made me ponder on the ways I have chosen to disregard and hide myself. The list of is getting shorter as I choose to be more honest and support myself by having esoteric healing sessions and making self loving choices on a daily basis.
Great blog Nicole. You’re completely right – tattoos have become a fashion accessory, and a lot of girls even as young as me (15) are already planning what they want done as soon as it’s legal. OR, as I found out recently – some are already getting them done. A girl in my Art class messaged me one night, asking for a favour… I said, ‘yeah sure, what’s up?’, and the response was not what I was expecting. She asked me if I could draw her a tattoo, as she was going to a parlour in a week and wanted to give the artist exactly what she wanted, which although was just some words on her wrist, I’m sure in the future could lead to more and more tattoos on her body.
I worked with a woman once that was taking her 16 year old daughter to get a tattoo for her Birthday. They are definitely seen these days by a large majority of people as a fashion accessory.
Interesting to read that young girls are wanting tattoos too Susie, what I have also noticed is that there are pretend tattoos for young children, they are ones you can stick on but it feels the same, a friend of mine laughingly told me how her 6 year old daughter “loves her tats” (tattoos).
It’s fascinating the point you make Nicole that it never occurred to you to consider ‘why would you or anyone want to do that to their bodies’? This trend of growing disregard for our bodies as a society is alarming.
Beautiful Nicole, this comment says it all really “No matter how many tattoos I had, once the thrill and excitement of my new tattoo wore off, I was left with the same old feeling of worthlessness, a lack of respect for and acceptance of myself.” It applies so many more things than just tattoos. I know that I would seek out all sorts of addictions to take me away from feeling myself, but always ended up in the same place, feeling worthless and despondent. How glorious for you to find your way out of this addiction, and not by replacing it with some thing else as is so common, but by deciding that you are more and choosing to connect to your beauty within. It does shine out very brightly and thank you for sharing your journey so honestly.
I have friends that have full sleeves, I think that is the right term for wrist to shoulder artwork. At work he wears long sleeve shirts to hide his ink at his place of work and only when he is on his bike does the ink come out on display. I once saw a well dressed petit women that you could just see from behind that the neck line of her dress did not quit cover what looked like a full back of an angel with wings.
The two are the same but different…what are they hiding from the world? Why don’t they feel they are enough is a question for them and finding the answer can be a long way back to remove all that ink.
I’ve had a tattoo for over 15 years – it seemed so cool at the time, something that I thought had meaning and significance.. I chose a strategic place on my body, nothing too big and flashy. So it sat there for all those years, and I did not really give it any thought, other than here was something I did – a notion I had in my early 20’s, that I was now going to have for the rest of my life.
And then in the last 10 years I have watched them get ever more popular. Now everyone has them (particularly footballers and I am sure there are others), and they are so big: a whole sleeve, or up someone’s neck. I’ll say it again – these things are for life.
When I heard you can get them removed – I decided to go through the process as the significant gesture all those years ago was completely meaningless today. And it hurts. A lot. And not just once, but doing it many times over a year or two.
I wonder if people are thinking of the consequences, what happens when they inevitably go out of style. And also what the effect of having those pictures or statements will have on their body as they wear them day in day out for 10, 20 or 30 years.
A bit of sound advice, and a blog like yours Nicole, would have been a very welcome read 15 years ago, and saved me alot of bother.
Not only would reading this blog 15years ago have saved you a lot of bother Simon but also a lot of pain by the sounds of it. Not ever having had a tattoo myself I am feeling very grateful that I never succumbed to such torture.
It is awful that we have got messages through life whether it be from expectations from others or through the media that then make us feel our bodies are not enough. We are the ones that then have to pay for it, when we were gorgeous and beautiful to begin with.
It is so stunning, in how far our mind is able to distract us from feeling the lack of self-love we so often have. It was very beautiful reading your story Nicole and feeling so clearly how big the changes we can make are – if only we allow ourselves to love ourselves in each and every moment.
Nicole, thank you for sharing your experience so honestly. There is so much revealed here for us all to get a much deeper understanding of what lies behind tattoos. It’s huge. I wanted to get a tattoo as well in my early forties, just a little one. but I could not make up my mind what image I would want on my body forever.
This was very interesting Nicole – I always wondered the fascination with people and tattoo’s, thank you for sharing your insight.
Thanks Nicole for the education on how a person feels about having tattoos and getting addicted, as I did not understand the driving forces behind them. I always disliked them immensely and refused to cave in when pressured to get them. To me the most beautiful thing is the curve of skin on a human body, and I could not understand why people would want someone else’s art permamently blazoned on – not to mention what do you do when your tastes change and you’re stuck with something you don’t like later on? To me tattoos always looked like injuries (which really they are). Every possible colour reminded me of some unwell state: black, blue, green, orange, yellow and purple – bruises and anoxia; red – inflammation and infection; black – lethal frost damage; brown – burn scars….. I just kept seeing this instead of art…. And could not get a tattoo no matter what the pressures were. But there are many different ways to ‘hide’ and I had my own!
Points very well-made Dianne! Surely nature’s curving skin contours are beautiful enough without the addition of what is, (if one is brutally honest), artwork of a fairly low standard. Most of the tattoo designs that I have seen, I would never consider framing and hanging on the wall for example. When you say that tonally they remind you of injuries, which they indeed are, I must admit that to my eyes, they have always appeared to be yelling at me, ” Look at me, I’m really hurting!!”, in other words a sort of public S.O.S, a desperate cry for help rather akin to wearing a sign that says, ” Look at me I’m really lost, Please help!”… I take heart from the fact that they are gradually going the same way as all fashion ephemera, and the reality that they cannot be cast off quite so easily as yesterday’s platform shoes or flared trousers serves as a caution against future recurrence.
Actually Jonathan, yes, tattoos do have an SOS feeling – like shouting publicly that you are hiding but really want to be seen! Lost and wanting to be noticed and found…. Funny how we don’t just come out and say how we feel and get help from people, instead of doing all kinds of stuff with our bodies and behaviour to say it in a roundabout, self-negating way….
I too, Dianne, have used many hiding techniques over time and I am a work in progress in uncovering and dismantling them but tattoos actually disgust me deeply. I am not a fan of physical pain at the best of times but the thought of having my body subjected to torture in that way is simply not something I would ever have contemplated even in my darkest hours. And as you say Dianne, “what if people don’t like their tattoos anymore”? Surely our tastes change over time and one has to live with them for the rest of our lives or one has to subject oneself once again to another kind of torture, this time, to remove those tattoos. No, definitely not for me, my body is too delicate for this kind of things.
Its true that almost everyone has a tattoo these days or is planning to get one. My fear of pain stopped me from getting a tattoo and I am glad of that fact. Thanks for sharing your insights into tattoos and the reasons you’ve uncovered about why you had so many. ‘I see now that I was using tattoos as a way to hide my body and myself, and as a form of protection.’ Until reading your blog I had never considered that could be a reason.
Thank you Nicole – this is such an awesome insight into why some people choose tattoos. I agree that it seems to be a way of hiding by seeking attention. I had a cosmetic tattoo over a scar about 5 years ago – The scar felt vulnerable and the tattoo covered it and allowed me to hide. Covering the scar did not address the real issue which was the lack of love I had for myself. Even though it ‘looked better’ the tattoo felt awful on my body and I felt that it was not right. Thankfully I did not attend the follow up appointment and the tattoo faded away on it’s own.
In the past I thought that people that had tattoos were very tough and brave to do something so painful and permanent to their bodies. I admired the skill of tattoo artists and enjoyed watching reality TV shows where people were tattooed. The only things that stopped me from receiving an actual ‘picture tattoo’ was a the knowledge that I constantly change my mind. I am so glad I did not go down that path as over time I have observed many of my friends have decided to have their tattoos removed and it is a costly and painful process.
From ejecting ink into skin via a needle to enjoying the naturally beautiful woman. That is what I call a great story and very much worth sharing.
A poignant illustration Simon; one that captures the two opposing energies that are at play here. One that is honouring of the essence of the woman and one that is in deep disregard (injecting ink into the skin..) and lack of awareness of the preciousness and beauty Nicole has rediscovered herself to be.
Yes, awesome call Simon – why on earth would we consider defacing the natural beauty that we are.
So in stepping into relationships then our choice is akin to choosing someone who may be hiding from who they are as our partner or choosing someone who expresses the naturalness of their inner beauty.
Wow Nicole. Your blog presents a whole new slant on tattoos and the reason why people have them and why they have become more prevalent today. Lack of self acceptance comes in various guises and thank you for sharing your journey.
Thank you Nicole for this sharing and wise insights behind why more people are choosing to be tattooed. I have never had one or wanted one so this article has brought more of an understanding to what is going on. I hadn’t considered before this is a way to hide the body but it makes sense if there are body issues going on..
Thanks for sharing Nicole. It is impossible not to notice the trend in tattooing over the last few years and your understanding what the motivation behind it could be. “a body not accepted, a body always needing ‘to be improved upon,” That to accept and appreciate you is all that is needed.
Nicole this is a great sharing on what is going on beneath the ‘trend’ of tattoos, to realise it is an addiction for so many makes a lot of sense. I only ever had thoughts about getting one, they seemed cool and dangerous to me at the time. So like all the other things I did because I thought they were cool and different like smoking, alcohol, drugs I most certainly could have become addicted. I love how you share the journey back to really appreciating your body and the essence within – it’s very much felt in your writing.
Thanks, Vanessa. Something that came up for me with your reference to tattoos being ‘dangerous’ was a feeling of rebellion when I got a tattoo, that I could make my own decisions about what to do with my body. Ultimately this rebellion was against God, as if he thought it was a good idea to put pictures on our skin, surely he would have done so.
Thank you Nicole for shedding some light upon the subject of Tattoos and their otherwise inexplicable proliferation. When I think of Tattoos, I think of sailors of old, getting tattooed while on some distant exotic voyage, perhaps as some rite of passage or bonding exercise with their fellow crewmen. I have to admit, that I have never fallen victim to this particular fashion in its recent re-incarnation, and I have eagerly read your blog in search of clues to help explain this phenomenon and the reasons and motivations behind it. I take heart from the number of removals that one now reads about, as people start to reconsider and reassess this particular form of body decoration.
When you speak to someone about their tattoos (most of them has more than one) it is often that the tattoo has been placed as a statement for something emotional that has happened in their lives. To remember and keep this alive. They talk about the tattoos as if it were their babies. I never have understood this, why hurting your body not only by placing the tattoo but also by holding on an emotion. Tattooing feels like harming yourself in many ,many ways.
So true Annelies. And with all of these emotional reasons behind the tattoo’s they must get more engrained and buried deeper within us as we cover up our bodies with the tattoo’s about them.
Nicole what you say here makes sense “Was it possible that tattoos fooled me into believing that I accepted myself? Or did they allow me to focus on something else on my body – rather than on my body itself?” I hated needles so I don’t feel I would have ever gone that route but I can understand that it is a way of hiding behind the tattoo so that you can focus on it or them rather than looking at a body you don’t like or have little respect for.
What you have presented makes sense to why people get tattoos. I often find that some tattoos are really in your face so I notice them rather then the person. So not only does it take attention away from yourself but also attention from others away from you so the tattoos are seen rather then you.
I agree Emily, tattoos sometime look and feel like a form of armour on a person’s body…. almost calling you to back off, and the person is left alone.
Great point Emily, and thinking about it I’ve done the same – there have been some tattoos that were so ‘in my face’ that I’ve ended up focusing all my attention on that, rather than the person I’m speaking to or meeting.
I have never had an interest in tattoos Nicole, but I enjoyed this blog. Thank you for sharing your experience and for the understanding of what is truly behind a tattoo.
Working in a backpackers many years ago, part of my role was to ferry guests around town and due to considerable demand I’d do pick ups from a tattoo parlour. (Tattoos were not yet the ‘norm’ but someone had got one and most of the current longer term backpackers followed)
It was during this time that I came close to getting a tattoo (marijuana written in Japanese writing on the bottom of my feet) but thankfully sense prevailed!
The main thing that held me back was, how could I pick something now that as I got older and my preferences changed I could be stuck with something on my body that I no longer wanted or liked? Remarkable that I could have such a clear thought considering the amount I was smoking!
Your writing is inspiring Nicole as you willingly look within and express to the world what is truly going on as many do not question “why do I really want a tattoo?”
Wow Julie, it sounds like even with everything you were choosing at that time you were still able to connect to something far greater within!
Great to read your experience on tattoos Nicole, as not having one myself, I didn’t have the understanding around why you would get one so thank-you for sharing.
It’s so beautiful that you are re-claiming your true gorgeousness and beauty within you now.
The vast majority of things we do, we do for recognition and identification. So many of us have a constant ‘look at me/I am that’ dialogue with the world going on, even when when we don’t want to be seen, there is still identification that I am a ‘shy person or I am a recluse’ message being sent out. Tattoos are simply one of the unlimited ways that we try and make a statement about who we perceive ourselves to be but any statement or idea about who we perceive ourselves to be narrows down and poorly defines who we actually are to the minutest fragment because we are the unlimited glory of God, no less and once we re-claim that there will be no scrabbling to identify ourselves because we will know who we are in truth.
Yes thank you Nicole, I had not understood that Tattoo’s can reflect a lack of self-acceptance and provide a form of protection. The beauty of a visual design on our skin feels so minuscule compared to sharing the inner beauty of ourselves with others.
Absolutely Jenny – Tattoos can certainly be a way to mask our own natural beauty. I suppose a big area for that is permanent makeup – which is a tattoo on your face (lips eyes, eyebrows) as a permanent enhancement.
It can take you very far away from who you naturally are.
And crazy that we have found ways to permanently mark our bodies to define us. From the age old tattoos used to mark cultures or tribes to where we are today – they have always been there as a way to make us seem more accepted and fit in. But I also know this can be true through simply expressing and living in a way that does not cap us or confine us, but lets us be completely ourselves.
Thank you Nicole, I can see that equal to letting go of the tattoo addiction is the process of opening up to the support that tells you that you are worth so much more.
Nicole, this blog really assists me in understanding some of the drive with tattoo’s and how it is an addiction not unlike other substance misuse and motivated from a similar place.
Engaging in loving choices to self, a journey we can all relate to. Thanks for sharing an amazing journey.
An amazing question you ask here Nicole ‘Was it possible that tattoos fooled me into believing that I accepted myself…’
Wow – I have seen in people very close to me how getting a tattoo was used as an identity.
It was cool and trendy, and fitted with a certain image.
But you are right – it goes far beyond just a tattoo. One could say that we mould our bodies in a way that give us an identity. I know I used to be obsessed with the gym because it let me ‘accept myself’ and helped me physically mould into something that others could identify with.
This is very true Hannah, ‘One could say that we mould our bodies in a way that give us an identity.’ I used to do lots of cycling and as crazy as it sounds having a muscly body helped me to feel part of something, i used to be proud of how hard the muscles on my arms and legs were as I liked being the ‘tough girl’, the one you could have an arm wrestle with, rather than a ‘girly girl’. I no longer feel this way, I now love my tender, graceful arms and have no interest in arm wrestling anyone.
Maybe we need to re-define what accepting ourself means – perhaps it is not covering ourself in ink, dying and cutting our hair, going to the gym, wearing different clothes etc, but is actually first and for most something that has nothing to do with the outside and the physical, but everything to do with the way you are in yourself.
Wow Nicole, thank you for sharing. You have answered a question that I have asked for many years. Why get a tattoo? After reading your blog, I now get it. wonderful that you are now able to ” know that I am what is within – and it is that beauty within that is now able to shine, without the need for any form of fashion accessory or tattoo”.
I’ve asked the same question Heidi, ‘why get a tattoo?’, and could not quite understand it until reading Nicole’s blog.
Absolutely Susie, for me personally I could not understand why someone may choose to get a tattoo – to me, it didn’t make sense with the ‘forever’ commitment to having something like that on your body (even when you are old and wrinkly), as well as the physical pain, but now I understand what reasons some people choose to get them, so thank you Nicole.
Thank you Nicole for sharing on this topic and the reflection you have offered about why we are getting tattoos. It is so normalised that nobody considers it a way to cope with lack of self worth and self acceptance, to make the body more.
I know lots of people with massive tattoos and they wear them with a certain pride and identity and I can see now how there is a real hiding behind the tattoos. Very interesting reflection you have offered here.
Thanks to Nicole for opening up on this subject which is all around us these days. It strikes me that Rachel’s insight is spot on, that nobody considers anymore why they might be having a tattoo and how it works to make the person feel more rather than deal with lack of self-worth and acceptance issues. Like you can never be really naked anymore because you’ve got a tattoo and therefore something is hidden behind it.
Truly beautiful to read Nicole – I love to feel how you are now free of the need of having tattoos to cover your body and feel how deeply beautiful you are as a woman.
Nicole, this is a wonderful sharing of the understanding and different choices you have made in your life. I have never had nor wanted a tattoo myself but I note the increase in prevalence that I see all around me, and I often wonder ‘how could one do this to their body?’. I ask this question because I have a greater understanding for myself today of what it means to hold and treat my body in a way that is deeply honouring and cherishing and how we are all deserving of this; no different to when we were small babies and so to bring physical pain or scarring to ourselves feels far less than what I know us to be worth.
I have also noted the regret that others have expressed to me in regards to their own tattoos, and for some the disdain each time they look at their bodies and are reminded of how they feel about themselves, how they feel about the person who performed the tattoo and the follow on choices of blame that follow suit. This reminds me that I carry signs and scars on my body that reflect to me everyday about the previous choices I have made, but I am beginning to appreciate them more for the learning they have brought and will continue to touch, hold and be with my body with as much preciousness as I naturally am.
What an amazing transition Nicole, I love this bit:
“The need to hide behind something or someone was falling away. I realised it was ok for me to just be me, and that the only person that needed to accept me, was me.”
Acceptance of ourselves is huge for women. Your photo just glows acceptance which is gorgeous to see, a beautiful reflection. Thank you.
Isn’t it amazing that it is actually that simple, the only person who needs to accept that we are enough as we are is ourselves. And from their anything is possible!
Beautiful Jeanette. A woman’s acceptance that our innate beauty emanates from within if far more powerful than anything we can adorn or place on our body and wear is indeed a massive revelation for all women. Whats more, the more women who claim this innate beauty the more other women will be reflected and inspired by the fact that there is another way.
Great Blog Nicole and yes tattoos are everywhere. It is great to hear someone express what is really going on with tattoos and not just blindly following the masses and the feed choice to get tattoos. I too have had tattoos and have had sessions to get them removed. I realised just how abusive it is to ourselves when we get the tattoos, and to then decide to have them removed is an expressive and painful process. It showed me how numb I was at the time of getting the tattoos and just how much self loathing that I carried. I love that I have only a light shadow left and in time they will be gone completely and I will never do this again to my body.
This is such a beautiful exposé of tattoos and the reason that they become so addictive. Although I have never had one, for a long period of time I very much wanted one. I dilly-dallied about the design, never finding one I quite liked, and giving myself a hard time because I thought I was wimpy and scared of the pain it would cause.
Boy am I glad now.
Knowing what I was like with addictive behaviours it would likely have been the start of something that I would have had trouble putting the brakes on.
When I arrived at Universal Medicine and its courses and workshops, I had zero self-esteem, zero capacity for self-care…and wanted a tattoo. The moment I started to understand that how I felt about myself was in the driver’s seat and dictating the types of choices I was making, well all I can say now was that the moment I put the brakes on a good many very unloving choices I was making. The desire for a tattoo was promptly binned and I set forth to re-discover what it was I was truly wanting – real love for myself and appreciation of my beauty just as it is.
This has been the most precious investment in myself, with deep appreciation for Serge Benhayon and the way of the Livingness.
Tattoos have become so ubiquitous and as you say Nicole so large now, and this seems to have coincided with our lives becoming that much more intense and pressurised. I never have had a tattoo or desire to have one so it was great to read your experiences of why you had tattoos and why you are now choosing to remove them. Worth a read for anyone considering getting one I would say for sure.
Like you Stephen I’ve never had a desire to have a tattoo, and could never understand why people did. I’m very aware of the huge tattoo industry that feeds on people’s insecurities and sells tattooing as something desirable and cool to have. Every strata and age of society has bought into it. I heard last week that Selfridges in London’s Oxford Ss now has a tattoo parlour. Another high end London department store advertises wash off airbrush tattoo days for ‘children of all ages’, removable they may be but likely to lead to a desire to have real tattoos in the future. It’s got out of control.
Nicole, I have never been drawn to have a tattoo but can feel that they have a similar feel-good factor as constantly buying clothes- the satisfaction is instant but short lived and highlights a lack of self love. Your journey to true self acceptance is inspirational. Thank you.
Great point Anne, I can really relate to this almost constant feeling of a need to buy more clothes, that actually streams from a constant need to look at what others are wearing and compare, and never really appreciating first what I already have, and secondly that I am beautiful no matter my makeup or clothes. It can be all to easy to hide with clothes, either with the obvious baggy boring clothes, or even hiding in extravagant loud clothes, if you don’t get to feel all of you when you wear them, its still hiding.
You are so right Nicole more people seem to have tatts these days than not and those that do aren’t governed by age gender or what walk of life they hail from. I was never in the right place or time to get one for myself, which I have to admit I’m quite pleased about otherwise i would be going down the removal route also. Thanks for shedding a bit more light on the subject.
This is huge Nicole. Thank you very much for writing this. In an age when tattoos are increasing in popularity, to have someone going against the grain, so to speak and actually have them removed and understanding the reasons why you got them in the first place is revelatory. I have often marvelled at how tattoos are increasing in size. Maybe 10 years ago it was cute to have a star or a small butterfly – now as you say we have whole limbs covered. It is so true that when we feel empty of ourselves and non-accepting, anything becomes fodder for us to turn to and become addicted to.
Great point Shevon, that tattoos have become larger in size. It is not uncommon to see a body part covered in fact it has become the norm.
Hi Nicole, “I used to think my tattoos beautified my body; that my body was not beautiful enough without something else”. I can remember considering having a tattoo, at the time I had a severe lacked self worth and felt that the tattoo would make me look more interesting and would be a great talking point. I’m glad I didn’t go ahead with this and would now not consider having one done as I appreciate and love my body as it naturally is, this is thanks to the inspiring presentations by Serge Benhayon and my choice to connect to the beautiful woman that I am.
That’s a really interesting point that you have picked out Rebecca – I can see that in the social media pages of people who I used to go to school with with them posting pictures of their new tattoos, it is a way to advertise themselves and say ‘hey, I’m interesting’ but at the same time seem to be showing that they are also conforming to what teenagers ‘should do’ in society – that they are not ‘weird’.
The growing trend for tattoos in my lifetime has taken off and what was once seen as socially unacceptable has become accepted in society as normal. This turnaround started when I was in my teens and I momentarily considered having something small and innocuous put somewhere I could easily hide but in the end I didn’t as the idea of being an old lady with one didn’t sit right for me. Also I’ve never been very good with pain, I knew having one would hurt for sure. Our natural beauty within and our skin is so much more precious. Writing this I am reminded of the amazing delicateness of a babies skin which we would never dream of tattooing. Could it be that those who choose to paint their bodies with tattoos have simply forgotten how incredibly precious we are? Great sharing Nicole, thank you for starting this conversation. I look forward to hearing the details of how you felt physically and about yourself post treatment. What an amazing commitment to returning to the wonderful you.
Nicole thank you for bringing a deeper understanding into tattooing. Having not had one myself I had often questioned why people had them. Your blog has made me aware of the many underlying reasons people may choose to have a tattoo. The work of Universal Medicine has obviously supported you enormously to self accept, heal and come to a deeper understanding of yourself.
How on earth can you have your eyeballs tattooed! That is shocking, disturbing and sad to read, for people to have thought of this and others to do it they must be so far away from who they truly are.
If a woman were in touch with, and honoured, her delicate nature could she ever say yes to a tattoo? I always thought that removal of tattoos was almost impossible and that it was painful and expensive, however even if it, is from what you have shared here, it is most definitely worth it.
This is the first article that I have read on tattoos that does not debate whether they are good or bad but looks beneath the surface without judgement to examine why it is we choose them. This in itself is super powerful. And it seems from everything you say Nicole, that underneath this skin of this subject lays another deeper one which we avoid mentioning in everyday circles: how is it that people everywhere do not seem to love themselves? We are all beautiful naturally and deserving of love without condition or accessory.
I love the question underneath the question you raise: ‘how is it that people everywhere do not seem to love themselves? We are all beautiful naturally and deserving of love without condition or accessory.’ How did we get so far away from ourselves and so full of hurts, that we are willing to abuse our bodies in various ways? The first step in returning back is making self-loving choices and getting awareness. Thanks for your contributions, Nicole and Joseph.
Indeed I have discovered that nothing I can put on my body – whether it be a tattoo, make up or clothes can actually make me feel more beautiful than I am on the inside. So instead of focussing on the external to make me feel better I now know that reconnection to what is within is where the fullness of my beauty will naturally be felt. This of course is a work in progress, and something I am enjoying discovering more about all the time. Thank you Nicole, for another awesome blog.
‘I have discovered that nothing I can put on my body – whether it be a tattoo, make up or clothes can actually make me feel more beautiful than I am on the inside’ – That’s gorgeous Amelia, wow. From quite a young age (around 12/13) I believed makeup would make me beautiful, so wore tons of it – eyeshadow, lipstick, blusher, the lot! This then took its toll – I began to think that when I didn’t wear makeup I looked ugly. Similar to how Nicole talked about being addicted to tattoos – I was addicted to makeup!
I have never read or heard of tattoos being addictive, but after reading your article it makes perfect sense, that is one thing they exactly are, an addiction; and a false way of accepting ourselves and our body when we don’t. Also it explains why people have so many once the feeling or ‘excitement’ of the new tattoo wears off we our left feeling how we originally did, hence getting another one. I am aware now of the actual poison tattoos are on our body, and in our body as ‘everything is energy’ Serge Benhayon.
It is really lovely to read how you now accept, love and cherish your body.
I got a tattoo on my left breast when I was about 33,I did not like my breasts at this time and thought it was the hip thing to do. Looking back on that time of my life I was having a break from my alcohol and drug abuse, instead I was numbing out on hours of yoga daily, fasting and raw food and getting my breast tattooed. I was so numb at the time that getting the tattoo did not even hurt. Now removing it has been a very different experience, the first 5 removals were very painful but very worth it as I feel I have reclaimed my breasts back as mine and have learnt to deeply respect and love my breasts as well as my body.
Mary Louise thanks for sharing your own experience of tattoo removing. It was great to hear how the removal has helped you reclaim your body
Wow your clarity and honesty here Mary-Louise is amazing. I had no idea that you could be so numbed on yoga and food that even having a tattoo wouldn’t hurt, yet removing it, having rediscovered your delicate sensitivity and you feel it all. What a turnaround. I really felt the numbing effect of food on my body this week when I tried to bury an emotion with a teaspoon or 2 of nut-butter, I was all hazy and it was like I was on drugs. It was a real wake up.
That is great to hear.. what you felt after removing it. Like many have said I feel this is a much needed conversation as not many people are aware of the negative effects tattoos have on the body,
I agree Vicky not many people are aware of the negative effects tattoos have on the body, they just see it as a trend to have a tattoo, and fit into the crowd.
Thank you for sharing Mary Louise.
I don’t have a tattoo – but I hated my nipples so much so that I was seriously considering getting tattoos over them to mask what I didn’t like – instead of facing why I didn’t like them in the first place. I am starting to appreciate my body more and more, and my skin is changing because of it – so instead of using tattoos as a solution to feel better and accepted, I’ve started to work on accepting myself.
Thanks for sharing Nicole, tattoos are very much the trend now for sure it still surprises me when I see Rugby League on TV and see players with so many, imagine having those removed.
I did get a tattoo at 18 and now see how I used it to ‘feel cool’ and to have something else to focus on as I certainly did not consider any other part of my body then.
I’ll look forward to making an appointment with Anne when I’m down that way next.
Ive never had any tattoos. But once upon a time I thought they were cool and though I wanted to get one, it was because my friends dad had them and I wanted to impress my friend. Its funny though how when I became 18, I would never have gone through with getting a tattoo, something about it just didn’t feel right and I couldn’t go through with it, it would have felt like signing a deal that I would have for the rest of my life. Thanks for sharing Nicole.
I ended up getting one tattoo Harrison when I was younger and the only reason I got it was to be cool. In fact that is what I see happening even now. People getting tattoos because it is the latest and coolest thing to do. It’s crazy what we choose to do to ourselves to be cool and accepted.
Well said Tony, the wanting to fit in certainly plays a big part in getting a tattoo, couple this feeling with what Nicole exposed and there is immediate understanding as to the rise in tattooing ones body. Showing all of us how very important it is to live steady with oneself, content in the bodies we have, as the world is crying out for another way, and we are it.
Gorgeous Nicole that you have reclaimed your body back as yours and now you celebrate the natural, tender woman that you are. There are so many different ways that we can numb ourselves so as to not have to feel our hurts, tattoo’s being yet another way.
It is great to hear your perspective about tattoos being an addiction. I have never been able to understand it, after having nursed old bodies with faded, wrinkled tattoos. I see beautiful young women and men with whole sleeves or calves and wonder how they let it go so far. The temporary up and excitement of planning and getting a new tattoo and the false sense of self it brings helps to explain this. It seems that just like any addiction it momentarily takes away any uncomfortable feelings but then leaves you back where you started, needing another ‘up’ moment. At a time when people are using more things than ever to distract or numb themselves, it is no surprise that the popularity of tattoos has exploded,
The uppers these days are not only alcohol and drugs, but tattoos on nearly everyones body- as a distraction from life.
Thanks Nicole for the fascinating insight into tattoos and what was behind them for you. Having never wanted to have a tattoo I did not understand there was so much behind the choice.
Thank you Nicole for the honesty and sharing of the life once lived. It is incredible to see in a very short time the whole ‘persona’ around tattoos change from only the ‘bikies’ or ‘sailors’ having them to now – who hasn’t one?
Why is everyone not asking, what on earth has caused this mass explosion of getting ink done!!!
Yes I agree Andrew, these days tattoos have lost their rebel status and become a common fashion accessory. It demonstrates just how easily influenced we are about what is fashionable and trendy without truly stopping to consider the deeper implications of such whims. The permanence of a tattoo is not to be taken lightly and what if there are other implications to them we are not aware of yet? Not so long ago smoking was considered beneficial, will we have a similar road to travel with tattoos?
It seems to me that humanity has to take itself beyond extremes and wait for a disaster to happen before it wakes up to the detrimental affects of many things. Why do we choose to do everything the hard way when life could be so simple…? Are humanity as a whole punishing itself for some perceived sin, and waiting for something or someone to rescue us? Are all these activities that we partake in just a cry for help, and not knowing where to look, we then take it out on ourselves by mutilating our bodies and abusing ourselves with extreme behaviours which are not loving and that in fact, keep us entrenched in the pain that we are feeling.
Good question Andrew; why is not everyone asking for the reason for the mass explosion of tattoos? This should be the topics in the news.
I’ve become a fan of your blogs Nicole and this one is no exception! Your relationship with your body has developed as you connect to the beauty you are within as you expressed. Have you ever worked with teenagers? I can feel you as such a supportive reflection for those who are questioning themselves, their worth and their very existence. Keep writing Nicole ~ there is a book in there!
The tattoo trend is gaining increasing popularity, with so many people walking down the street with visible tattoos, and even more with ones hidden under clothes. I have also felt what you have described – that the question is no longer why get a tattoo, but why not? When I was a child I never ever wanted a tattoo, the fear of needles and my personal dislike of them making me certain I would never get one, and in a way it was my fear of the needles involved that has been my saving grace, as I have gotten older and the pressure and inciting idea of getting a tattoo has grown, I haven’t given in and reading your blog is so supportive of that choice. I understand now that if I were to get a tattoo it would only be to cover my body and give me something to focus on other than my perceived imperfections – thank you for sharing.
Well said Rebecca, that’s awesome what you have become aware of, and you can now make a more true and loving choice, rather than just going with the trend. How powerful when we can look at what comes up for us, without going into any mode to cover it up and not deal with what’s there to be looked at.
I agree Esther, I am so glad that Nicole’s blog was there as a support to me and many others. I hadn’t realised how much tattoos were a niggling thing at the back of our culture, and unseen press and temptation.
If we were taught to make truly loving choices from young we would not have the ever growing number of people tattooing themselves. It’s so true what you say Nicole, when you let it your inner beauty makes you outwardly shine.
That’s pretty cool Nicole. When I first got my tattoo it was like a mark of belonging to something, in my case it was being a fan of a certain video game I was obsessed about at the time. I could now claim something as ‘me’ and people would ask about the tattoo, what it meant and then allow me to talk about a favourite subject that I had attached to. Over the years I had thoughts of getting more and more of them but I never went through with it. What was really highlighted to me while reading this was WHERE I had placed the tattoo – I did not want it on my shoulder or anywhere I could not see it, I wanted to have a constant reminder of ‘who I was’. Gradually over time from experiencing the work of Serge Benhayon I started to see and feel what this attachment was doing to me and then how I related to others. It’s been over two years now but when people ask why I am getting it removed I can firmly claim “It’s just not ‘me’ anymore” – truth is it was never me in the first place.
I agree, Leigh. For me getting a tattoo was about the spiritual glamour of the group I belonged to at the time, but more importantly it gave me an identity, to give me a sense of myself that would cure the aching emptiness I felt inside (which it didn’t). I can now feel the irresponsibility of doing this rather than face the unresolved hurts I was feeling, and when I had my tattoo removed, it made me cry to feel how irresponsible I had been to do this to my precious body.
The crying for me too Janet has not been about the physical pain of the removal but the connection to the impact of my choices on my very precious and divine body.
That is a great insight Leigh, of how your tattoo was used to give you a false identity, and I love your reply that now “its just not me”. An answer on many levels!
Thank you Leigh, your insight into where on the body a tattoo is placed brings a level of understanding to why, why are we choosing to tag our ” selves ” with symbols…and thank you Nicole, a brilliant exposition, for going deeper and starting the conversation
20 plus years after getting my tattoos I am so glad I can’t see them because they are on my back. I am well into getting them removed and can’t wait until they are completely removed. They are definitely not meant to be on my body and relate in no way to who I am today.
That is so amazing to read Leigh, having never been drawn to have them myself, I can understand now why people chose to have a tattoo, because it represents something they have attached themselves to and identified with, from a lack of knowing who they truly are. I love your conclusion, that its just not you anymore and it never was! How amazing is it that you have connected to the real you underneath and now no longer require any form of external identification to know who you truly are.
Thats a very cool sharing Leigh, I guess when a tattoo is chosen it is done so as a way to reflect or show who we feel we are. This all seems quite a permanent way to stamp our mark of who we feel we are. I just couldn’t imagine how any tattoo could really reflect who any of us are as we are all quite something and indescribable through the mark of permanent ink.
You know Leigh, I can understand the distraction and see why many young people who are ‘lost or still looking for themselves’ think they want to display their allegiance to this or that for recognition or whatever is the reason, but of late I have noticed while out and about, travelling etc. that there are more and more women in their 50’s and 60’s who are getting their first tattoos. Some remarks I have overheard relate to them still ‘wanting to be seen to be young’ – ‘if the young can do this, then so can I’ etc. etc. In some cases these women were out with their small grandchildren, some in prams and pushers and it reminds me of the impact that the behaviours, patterns and role of the older members in our family can have upon the small children. I can just see it now – little Jessica/Jane/Josephine, 4 years old “I’m going to have a dragon tattooed across my heart – just like Grandma has!”
I feel we have such a responsibility not only to our young family members, but initially to our very selves, feeling and knowing absolutely that we are all deeply far more than the mind will have us believe. It feels to me the responsibility starts with being tenderly reminded that intrinsically we are not only deeply loved, but that our beingness is love, as we come from love. How could there be that sense of hopelessness and emptiness that looks to be filled with outside dark blue ink displays, hoping that these outside images on the body will make us feel that we ‘belong’ to something/someone when we know with a deep knowing that that is not who we are and indeed the fact is we are far more than that.
Calling the fashion of tattoos a way to hide, and an addiction is insightful and wise beyond what we see in most of society. We are so very starved for truly appreciating the unique essence that we bring, and how are body reflects the gorgeousness each of us are. This might sound far fetched, but when we have found so many many ways of creating false worth, like tattoos, piercing, giant stiletto heels, and the list goes on and on… No matter what we try nought but our heart can bring the appreciation and sense of connection we all desire and deserve.
Too true Heather,
Not even if you tattoo hearts all over your body!
Nicole, thank you for sharing this deeper understanding about why you chose to get a tattoo.
If we, as a society realised that the desire for a tattoo was a clear sign that something was not quite right, or missing within us – they would surely not be glamourised as they are today. And tattoos would be purely seen as the demonstration of one’s own emptiness worn on their sleeve, ankle, eyeball or back.
Understanding the underlying cause and repercussions of tattoo addiction is so very needed, and should be part of our education.
Beautifully said Heather…”We are so very starved for truly appreciating the unique essence that we bring, and how are body reflects the gorgeousness each of us are”. Even coming far closer to appreciating the unique essence I am than I ever had before, it still feels a world away some days and on those days, I notice that I need to ‘fill things up’ in a way that the word ‘starving’ fits quite well – it is almost insatiable – not enough food, clothes, cooking etc..can fill what I am trying to fill. Appreciation is the key to return to that….not the many other ways of creating false worth as you say.
I agree Heather this article brings a wisdom we rarely see in society it breaks open the story of ‘I like tattoo’s’ and reveals truth’ I was addicted to tattoos’ in order to not feel and to hide. With more articles like this one we become aware of truth and can begin to take responsibility for our own choices.
Beautiful Judy – more articles like this are very welcome to deepen the understanding of an illusion we have created to be unique without really feeling into the implications on our body.
Beautifully said Heather. We have been truly starved of knowing our real and beautiful essence and the varying degrees self abuse we invent in order to manufacture a self worth that already resides within is a quite painful to witness. Nicole is the first person I have heard nominate tattoos as an addiction and it is a real wake up call. Something we see as being so innocent has a much deeper impact on us than we truly understand. What is truly going on in our society that we can regard permanently damaging our skin as a fashion craze rather than seeing it for the self harm it truly is.
Yes… it is a deep longing to know ourselves again.
However not in the true sense, more of a cheat step, to avoid the question why we turned away from our innate gorgeousness in the first place.
Nicole thank you for writing honestly about your relationship with your body and how tattooing became an addiction for you. Before reading your post I hadn’t fully appreciated that tattooing can be addictive. Like all addictions, we can only stop the cycle when we get to feel what lies beneath the drive that pushes us to abuse our bodies. It’s great that with love and self care you have broken free of your addiction to tattoos and can appreciate and embrace the true you.
Hi Nicole This is such a helpful insight you are sharing, I have not ever had a tattoo and would never have thought about the fact that it allowed someone to hide their body – bringing this honesty to the world and showing a whole different side to tattooing – removing the glamour associated with it helps with true understanding. Thank you
I agree Judy, I would never have thought a person would get a tattoo to hide their body. I love the insight Nicole shares – it has brought much understanding for me on this subject.
I have never had a tattoo, although at some stages in my life I have been pondering on if I would like one but never came to the conclusion that I needed one. This will not say that I had a life free from addictions, there where many like alcohol, coffee, working, sports and even a short time ayahuasca shortly before I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. I have never considered a tattoo as an addiction but in the way you describe it Nicole Serafin, I can feel the same energy as I had with my addictions. We use it to cover up the emptiness in ourselves and to cover up the responsibility we have to fill our bodies with the love we innately are instead of filling it with something from the outside, that constantly needs to be replenished since it does not naturally belong to us so does not withstand.
This is very true Mary, it is the tattoo I see before the person, therefore consciously or not the tattoo is a cover up, a way of hiding yourself from view in plain sight. Having a tattoo is an embellishment of who we are, and while in the past I might have fleetingly considered getting a tattoo I would consider now that I don’t need to embellish, change, alter or hide who I am. While it is a personal choice what I feel is needed is a fresh look at what getting a tattoo is really all about, that is why this blog is so refreshing as it is written by someone, Nicole who has experienced this process and been real and honest in exposing what getting a tattoo really meant for her.
If we think that tattoos beautify the body, then we must have thought the body was ugly without them, which indicates a lack of self love and lack of self worth. Thinking that tattoos make you “more” in some way is an illusion.
Agreed Nico, filling ourselves up with something on the outside, and not re-connecting to the love we innately are on the inside, will always, forever be a bottomless pit, always needing more and more and we become more desperate every time the next ‘hit’ doesn’t work.
Coming back to love and appreciating ourselves is the only way.
I love how you have expressed here Nico about tattoos – “We use it to cover up the emptiness in ourselves and to cover up the responsibility we have to fill our bodies with the love we innately are instead of filling it with something from the outside…” Yes indeed this is a very true and powerful statement and one I can attest to having gained a tattoo in my early 20’s.
I can relate to this too, as in getting a tattoo in my early twenties was certainly based on everything that was going on outside of myself. If I had been accepting of myself back then I would never have considered a tattoo.
So true Nicole and Sally. I too got a tattoo for myself based on things that were happening at the time – it felt like some form of grandiosement. So untrue and arrogant of me, and I too am looking to have it removed.
Susan, I can’t tell you how painful and yet awesome it is to have the tattoos removed, I am about half way through the process. The emotional pain I feel with each removal session has been unbelievable. I will never be getting a tattoo ever again.
This raises the issue of ALL the substitutes we engage in to to not connect with the true love and beauty that we are. The tragedy is that we begin to doubt our selves in the first place! Thank God for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for the reflection of true love that honours and calls forth that same love in every person, equally.
Yes, thank God for Serge Benhayon for shining a light on the fact that we are needy, empty because we do not love ourselves enough and thus we fill up this lack of love or void with anything we can and today we see many, many people receiving tattoos and glorifying them.
Absoulutely Bernadette, I am just sitting in bed this morning, having a cry as I finally allow myself to feel the hurt that is there to be felt, and, although I too do have Tattoos (also covering up sadness) the particular substitute I recognized at the moment that I have used to not feel is men and crushes as a distraction ??
Your blog Nicole provides much for a person to ponder over as the concept of tattoos being linked to one’s self worth or lack of self acceptance is very foreign to most. Tattoos have been seen as ’empowering’ or ‘unique’ but now there is another way to see them and the activity of ‘inking’. Thanks for going there.
I agree Suzanne, it makes sense what Nicole writes. I never understood the point of tattoos and find many of them disfiguring – like a distorted view of the person. There has to be a really strong benefit for people to go through with tattoos and Nicole gives a good reason for that.
I agree, the mindset around tattoos is a strong one, like with music it has almost become its own culture. I believe getting a tattoo is a personal choice, but what Nicole has shared is a way of looking at why a person might be getting the tattoo, and that by being honest and looking at this, a person could learn to look at tattoos in a completely different way.
This is a great sharing Nicole, I really like how you are honestly letting us know of this part of your life.
People choosing tattoos are appealing to me to be very tuff and having a hard life. It always felt wrong to me to penetrate ink into the deep layers of the skin, and the pain that goes with the procedure has never felt right to me.
Tattoos have become out of control in society.
Is that because society has become out of control with ITSELF, looking for more extreme ways to draw attention to itself by seeking recognition and attention by disfiguring or ‘adorning’ our bodies in a painful and un-natural way. We are enough as we are and we won’t realise that as a society until we start to love and appreciate ourselves. Could it be that underneath every tattoo there is a deep yearning for love and to be loved.
Yes we cannot and do not realise the (true) value of us, until we start to love us – through self-acceptance.
I read in the paper last week the latest craze emerging of owners inking their pet dogs too. Crazy. And shows the might of avoidance and resistance to love to project and inflict what I would say is an ‘illness’ onto pet animals under the guise of ‘coolness’.
Marianna I agree fully with you. Someone has just opened a tattoo parlour in our town. As we are close to the home of the British Army, will we see all the new army recruits queuing up for tattoos, along with the local youth.
It is interesting that you mentioned this Mike. There is a new tattoo parlour that has just opened a street away from a local high school.
Strategically opened up by the sound of it Mike, to prey on those who will be open to a tattoo.
I agree! its crazy how prevalent they have become and in so short a time frame too! I cant see why people are so complacent about them- they are permanent and quite disfiguring and very painful and costly to remove. I am so glad I have never been drawn to them, never felt they were for me.
Yes Rebecca the tattoo culture is very strong. Its about opening up the conversation and people’s perceptions of tattoo’s and the reasoning behind their choices with a new light and Nicole’s blog highlights that perfectly.
The tattoo culture is alien to me, having grown up in another era but I do understand the need to cover up, to hide who we truly are. In the past it could have taken the form of excessive politeness or strict etiquette that denied the expression of feelings. No matter our choice of cover up what is important is reconnecting to ourselves thus shedding the protection as we rediscover who we are meant to be.
I love the way you have drawn the comparison with tattoos and excessive politeness. On the surface they don’t seem to have much in common. However they are both ways of presenting something on the surface. It doesn’t really matter the means we use, as it all has the same result of not being who we are.
Yes, its not truly expressing anything to have a tattoo on our body, its an attempt to rebel and push people away, but tattoos don’t really speak, they kind of cry or glare or give the finger- but don’t say what the hurt feelings are within them. I have known friends to go through a painful experience and then to choose to tattoo their bodies from that emotional standpoint. I wonder if this really brings any saving grace or keeps them locked into that emotional low point somehow, or defined by things that went wrong?
Agreed Suzanne – this is a great conversation to be having… to explore the link between self worth and tattooing. Indeed it’s a conversation we could be having about any number of other activities such as alcohol, drugs, smoking, sport etc… exploring what is underneath activities that have us doing things to our bodies that are less than gentle and less than self care. Why is it that we now herald many of these activities that are actually harming the body.. often overridng what our bodies are telling us… could it indeed be that many of these behaviours result from a lack of self worth in preference to the self confident activities we make them out to be.
“Indeed it’s a conversation we could be having about any number of other activities such as alcohol, drugs, smoking, sport etc…”, I agree Angela, it was only today that I was having a conversation about my motorcycling days and how I used it as a form of distraction and escapism, and it was hard on my body which I ignored. This could apply to many sports and activities as well as tattoos, as I feel if we truly loved and cared for ourselves and felt we were enough, we would not feel the need for this kind of abuse to our bodies. I nearly had a tattoo once, when I was in my early 50’s just after I got divorced, I felt it was a kind of rebellion, drawing attention to myself, in the end I realised that it just wasn’t me so I didn’t go through with it, but I can feel the draw and it nearly hooked me in.
This is interesting Sandra, Angela and Suzanne, the fact that tattoos are connected to self-empowerment. Why do people need tattoos ? It seems it is to show that they exist and that they are worth it. But surely self-empowerment comes from within when we realise that there is no grander love than the love that we have for oneself. And when there is full acceptance and love for oneself then tattoos become redundant.
Spot on Maryline, true self worth comes from the grandness of who we truly are on the inside, and when that is connected to tattoos become redundant, and so do the many things that we like to distract ourselves with to take us further away from who we truly are, glorious Sons of God.
I was aware that when I nearly had a tattoo I wanted to aggrandise my body on the outside because I didn’t feel enough on the inside, I did the same with having more ear piercings, I just wanted to make myself feel “better” instead of connecting to who I truly was, because at the time I had no idea WHO I truly was.
Thanks to Universal Medicine now I do, and I if I want to feel the gloriousness and preciousness of me I just go within and connect to that feeling on the inside, something everyone can do if they choose. Beats having a tattoo any day.
As soon as I read the word self empowerment, it felt key to what is going on underneath the desire to have tattoos ( and the inability of many to stop getting them). I have never wanted to have a tattoo but if I did it would to make me feel more somehow, to be special or to stand out. But mostly I can feel it would bring a temporary boost to my self-confidence ( even though it is a false form of confidence). This shows me that what people are really seeking is to feel confident within themselves, to feel they are worthy and special. How ironic that we already are, we just live in a way that keeps us from knowing it!
Great point Sandra, we could apply many activities that are so common as a means of numbing and distracting ourselves. Something that I invested in for many years was yoga and it was a means of numbing myself. Although it appeared to be about connecting to the body and that was what I thought I was doing, What I really was doing was distracting myself from feeling the depth of what was going on in my body. The type of yoga I practise these days is Esoteric Yoga which is about truly connecting and feeling my body.
I too neatly got a Tattoo at about 35. Looking back at this time I feel that I was starting to truly feel the emptiness of my life, my children were growing up some and it seemed that I was no longer needed as I was when they were little. At this time I had not connected to the fact that I felt empty because I had no love or respect for myself. Prime feelings to go looking for a Tattoo. However I never went through with it. Some how each time I got close something stopped me, for this I am grateful.
Leigh, my experience was very similar; at about 40 I felt I probably should get a small tattoo, as it seems to be the ‘in’ thing. As I have always had a bit of difficulty with commitment and making decisions, I could never decide what to get, and where…..too many decisions. Now I’m glad I did just let it be, but it wasn’t because I loved myself so much. These days I have a much better appreciation of myself, and I would not get a tattoo for any reason. It’s so great to be discussing what is going on, as it really is out of control; so many people feel they need to have tattoos to be ok.
I nearly got a tattoo at the age of 40. It was a significant age for me, and 40 meant the start of going down hill and becoming old and unseen. The tattoo represented me remaining hip and trendy and ‘with it.’ I’m glad I did not get the tattoo after all. My experience and many the comments on this blog highlight for me that tattoos are linked with poor body image and lack of self worth.
Interesting points about age here.. I’ve spent a lot of my life craving to be older and hide away in that, so as to not have to stand out in the world and stand up for what I can feel, to hide away and not have to take responsibility for just being myself and bringing that to the world. But it’s not the age that causes this, but our relationship to growing older, being old.. and when we start to let go of those pictures of what all that means for us, we realise we can shine at any age – and that it can only come from the inside.
It was when my third and final child was 2 and I had just finished breast feeding that the ‘hook’ to tatto my body really grabbed me. In hindsight, I can see how this happened so clearly. As a family we were out to lunch, I had a glass of red wine and so was disconnected from myself. The words “I am going to get a tattoo” came out of my mouth. In that moment I remember it was like looking on from above and wondering, “where did that come from”?. I had never before even thought of getting a tattoo. I also recall the shocked look on the face of my 11 yr old sons face. This was out of character for his natural living mum.
I went ahead with it, taking 6 months to research where and what etc. It gave me a project and a purpose other than getting pregnant again. I used the story of the tattoo as a replacement for what I now know could have been just a simple and loving decision to celebrate the children I had and a choice not to have any more.
I also relate to the addictive nature of the pain and excitement and false short boost of self confidence a tattoo brings. I too was planning more but thankfully never went through with it.
Mary-Lou – thanks for your honest sharing. I’d love to hear your story extended into a blog. I feel more needs to be said about the negative impact of tattoos from those who have chosen to get tattoos; to then expose the falsity of gaining self confidence and self worth. What are the longterm effects?.
You are right, there is much to be explored here with the link of self worth and the lack of self worth in preference to the self confident activities we make these (alcohol, drugs, sport etc.) out to be. So writing this now I am seeing maybe first we need to explore why we have a lack of self worth in the first place? Universal Medicine continually sheds a light on such subjects/topics.
Prior to attending Universal Medicine presentations I didn’t even consider or use the word self-worth. It wasn’t on my radar at all. And I have to admit it has taken years to even begin to feel what self worth is even about. Doesn’t this go to show all the layers we have accumulated to not even realise that self-worth is key to returning to our truth once again.
This is true Vicky, and I can recall that to use the word ‘self-worth’ (lack of), was only assigned to those who (I thought/thought by others too) were typically with some sort of weakness, or suffering from abuse, and certainly not an established, confident, successful, or suit-wearing professional, like myself or indeed the people I came across in my job as a Recruiter. I have seen deep levels of low worth in the most senior positioned, successful, even good looking people, to make ‘self-worth’ nothing at all to do with what job we do, how we look, or come across as being. Developing self-love opens the door to see these levels of fake worth we have invested in, to then establish a clear sense of true self-worth: living free as the real-us, unaffected, governed only by the truth and love we live.
I would never have considered myself as having lack of self worth either. I thought this term was for down and outs like drug addicts or alcoholics. I thought I was doing great with my good education, my job, nice home and all the other things that tick societies boxes. But beneath my nice suit I have come to find I did and still do have self worth issues. Just becoming aware of them has been eye opening, and I have become more humble as I see many of us dont live life to the full because of doubts and fears about ourselves not being good enough. As you say Zofia, ‘Developing self-love opens the door to see these levels of fake worth we have invested in, to then establish a clear sense of true self-worth.’
Yes a Vicky it definitely is a process of peeling back layers of patterns and old choices to reveal the truth we all hold within. That is where the real healing lies.
Vicky I did not use this term either but I was painfully aware of my inadequacies and of not fitting anywhere. I lived with a persistent feeling of malaise. My particular addiction was to withdraw from life, burying myself in books. This was the best way to avoid being scrutinised and for me to compare myself to others. Universal Medicine is helping emerge from this deep well.
I was the same Vicky. If someone had asked me what I meant by self worth I would have mentally scrambled to come up with something as close to what I thought would be in a dictionary as I could. My understanding would have certainly been limited to ‘out there’ and not ‘in here’. This perception has been steadily changing as layer after layer is exposed but the sheer fact that there is so many layers to dig through shows the sheer depth to which true self worth has been buried. When I consider this, it makes it easy to understand how tattoos and other addictive behaviours easily grow unchecked.
True Jane, beautiful that you have discovered this and chosen to remove the tattoo. It must have been a real healing.
Absolutely Jane. Society protects tattoos as individualism and expression but it is interesting that many people without tattoos see those with tattoos as less attractive. At the end of the day is it about accepting that we are enough in our bodies just as we are – and that marking ourselves will not define us, will not express what there is to express. One you break this layer – it is then important to look at what a tattoo actually does to the body – and how a needle needs to puncture 1-2mm deep to place ink in the cells within our connective tissue that our white blood cells find too big to move or destroy. Wow what a process that needs to be brought to out awareness.
I agree, this is a topic worth exploring. Before I read this blog I had never heard anyone mention the possibility that getting tattooed could be linked to how we feel about ourselves. These are the types of conversations that are worth exploring as a great many people are choosing body art; it’s become ubiquitous but what might it really be telling us. I also love that we can consider other activities and pastimes in relation to how we feel about ourselves, after all how we feel will always strongly relate to what we do.
Absolutely Stephen how we feel will relate to what we do and how we treat ourselves and others. Self worth is crucial in building to turn around negative habits, addictions etc.
I agree with you here, we can all learn so much about ourselves when we talk and share about topics like this. At the end the tattoos are just a way of self distraction and shutting down the feelings.
For me Stephen, the urge for wanting a tattoo was to fill some need in me that wasn’t being met elsewhere. Yes you could say the same about a lot of things, using them to fill our emptiness and/or draw attention to ourselves because we don’t feel enough just as we are. It comes down to loving ourselves, and if this is not felt then we go to great lengths to find something that will provide a solution and make us feel ‘better’. Could it be that damaging our bodies by having a tattoo, is actually a form of self hatred, it says to the world, “look at me, I am not enough as I am”, something to ponder further why we should choose to abuse ourselves in this way.
Sandra, you make a very interesting point. How many people would proceed to have tattoos if they were able to reflect on the fact that the tattoo would in fact say, not ‘ hey I am cool’, but ‘look at me, I don’t know that I am enough as I am, and I am feeling pretty empty and desperate right now’, or simply ‘please please look at me, and see me’.
It is worthy of consideration that tattoos are self abuse, while it is a respected personal choice I always feel we have much to gain when we look deeply at why we do the things we wish to do. To me a tattoo is an extreme choice and deserves a lot of this consideration to ensure we are clear on our reasons.
Definitely Stephen, the subject of tattoos goes deeper than I just want a tattoo. There is connection between identification (self worth) and tattoos.
And there is always in front of us a very real opportunity to explore this in relation to many of our lifestyle choices, I used to drink too much to escape from life, and used sport in the same way, there is always something there to fill our lives if we let it, but it seems far better to feel more deeply why we really want to do the things we do.
Same for me Stephen, I never heard someone before share on a blog that getting a tattoo was related to how we feel about ourselves. I have heard people say that once they had a tattoo they thought that had accepted themselves. As you share Nicole, I can feel that that ‘acceptance’ is actually just a cover up, not a real change.
Yes Ariana , and great by naming tattooing for its addictive nature.
Yes it does and we often avoid to feel
It. Honesty is a good marker if we want to get out of any addiction.
Yes Ariana, I have heard lots of people talk about being addicted to getting tattoos. Many have it covering large parts of their bodies and its also common now to see tattoos on the face. Its as if these individuals don’t wont to be seen for who they are and are hiding their true selves in some way.
I agree Angela, I noticed this recently with a cancer project that was being advertised. Every fundraiser they wished to do seem to involve an extreme activity where the participants would need to push their body’s to raise money for the cause. It seemed counterintuitive and rather ironic that to try and “fight” cancer we are choosing a level of disregard similar to what may have caused the cancer in the first place. Imagine if we are more caring for our body we wouldn’t need to fight anything and we might just not have that same desire to tattoo our bodies.
Yes Angela, how is it that so many harming activities, drugs, piercings, body mutilations are becoming so widespread and more extreme. and how is it that more are not asking the question of why? Maybe now is the time to have that conversation.
Yes Anne Cummings and with the recent research highlighting the harming effects blogs such as these are a great read in understanding how we can be influenced by so many societal ideas and beliefs that do not always support ourselves to live levels of health and wellbeing.
Yes Angela the link between WHAT we do and HOW we look is favoured over WHO we are.
The way we override the body to a point of harm and disregard is for what reason?
These activities are not self caring, yet we continue to champion them as important, cool or popular.
Self worth is low whilst self harm is high.
Where to from here?
Yes I agree Angela, we take up certain activities like sport, alcohol or drugs which give us a false sense of confidence when all along they are harming our body, all because we do not want to feel and take responsibility for what is actually going on in our bodies. We need to call out the distractions we use, thus we will be easier to listen to our bodies and make different, more loving choices.
Yes I agree Suzanne, Nicoles blog is amazing and provides a lot to ponder for everyone – especially for people who want to start to have a tattoo – it breaks the old ideals and beliefs about tattoos – wunderbar.
I agree Suzanne, Nicole’s blog has opened up a different aspect aspect of tattooing that I had not considered before.
Me too, I had not considered that either, very eye-opening.
In having a tattoo, that I am now having removed, I can absolutely feel that I thought it was cool, unique etc but it was only covering up my lack of self worth and a lot of sadness that I did not want to feel. I can’t tell you how relieved I am to know that it is being removed and that what I did not deal with 20 years ago can now be healed.
Beautiful Sally this is wonderful. Thank you for sharing.
Well said Sally and thanks for your honesty – there are so many things we do, when we don’t want to feel the feelings in our body, which are not nice. To get a tattoo is just one way of overriding our feelings.
I.agree Suzanne – it’s important we are having these conversations, because not only is the activity of ‘inking’ becoming more and more acceptable at the same time as it’s becoming more and more extreme, but many other body modifications including piercing, inplants etc are also being taken up in the same way. The question that therefore must be asked, is what level is our self-worth at and what is it we are really wanting to avoid by such extreme behaviors which are becoming more and more socially acceptable and so called ‘normal’, – when in fact they are anything but reflective of who we truly are.
One just has to walk down any street and become bombarded with a selection of piercing and tattoo shops. For many one simple tattoo has now become a collection. Often hearing people already speak about the next tattoo they will be saving up for whilst having one done in the parlour. The rates of increase are by far showing a trend that more is not enough and that there is a desperate need to outdo the last experience.
I can see very clearly now how my two tattoos were done at at time when I was trying to carve an identity for myself and also trying to bury and not take responsibility for what I was actually feeling. There was a feeling of being rebellious (at least at the time) and throwing caution to the wind when I got them, like I had joined a secret club or something.The truth of the matter was that I had just joined the club of disregard for myself, not feeling the worth of my body and really understanding that this body is under my care, not something to do with it whatever it is that I want.
Agreed Suzanne. I remember when i was growing up and associating tattoos with bikie gangs and the like. Now they are such common place that people from all walks of life, all ages and all progressions have them. But has anything really changed about why we get them in the first place – and that the lack of self worth remains the key, but simply that we have become masters at masking this fact…
Great question, do tattoos subjugate us and not make us empowered to be individual free thinkers display our chosen form of expression. Is it the very opposite of the free choice we believe we are making that is actually happening. Are we held captive by the energy of the tattoo artist in what or how they impose the ink on the body. Worth considering if we are getting a tattoo, everything is after all everything.
I agree Suzanne, it is nice to hear from someone that made that choice and reflect on the possibility that there are deeper drivers behind it, beyond simply liking the look of something. It makes me wonder about the popularity of tattoo’s and what it might say about society more generally.