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Everyday Livingness
Gambling – Not the Problem, But the End Result
Money, Social Issues 912 Comments on Gambling – Not the Problem, But the End Result

Gambling – Not the Problem, But the End Result

By James Nicholson · On April 22, 2014

There have been various short or prolonged periods in my life where I have felt down, lost and not feeling I was getting what I wanted out of life. At these times I would turn to any distraction I could. The main ones I used were alcohol, drugs and gambling. These distractions involved a stimulation of some kind where I would get caught up in what I was doing so I could forget, however temporarily, what was going on for me at the time.

When I started to develop a deeper connection with myself I found the alcohol and drugs were relatively easy to say no to. The gambling problem however, posed something more insidious.

It was blatantly clear that I would get caught up in it and lose all sense of reality and then feel really crap afterwards. I would then say “Never again” and pick myself back up but, when a period of ‘struggle’ came, I would turn back to gambling. I would justify it, and allow it to control me. I was too ashamed to admit what was happening to myself, let alone anyone else.

It’s crazy looking back at how I would justify to myself that it was ok, even though EVERYTHING in my body and ALL around me was giving me signs that I would over-ride. I was always being asked why I was there, as I did not fit in with the usual casino crowd.

It wasn’t really about the money either, even though big sums were involved. It didn’t really matter whether I won or lost – it was like I was trying to punish myself to distract me from the pain I was feeling. Crazy!! – think about it: I was creating more pain to not feel the pain!

I had a huge arrogance and wanted to think that I could get away with it, that I could ‘beat the system’ – a metaphor for ‘I could beat life’. Even when I would walk out from the casino with 10s of thousands of pounds or dollars in cash, NOTHING that I bought with the money actually helped me in any way. It came laced with an energy that was effectively saying “I own what you do with me.”

It has been through the on-going inspiration and teachings presented and lived by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine practitioners that I have been able to turn my life around. I have never been told “Don’t do this or that” – rather, I’ve been helped to come to an understanding about what was actually going on for me. I have never felt any judgment. To say that is huge, especially given that I would be my worst imaginable judge, jury and executioner! There has been no perfection sought or asked for either, so no pressure.

By steadily building a strong foundation of love in my body, and making that my focus, the extremes of my emotions have gotten less extreme: I now catch myself long before I fall into the deep pit of depression.

Gambling was never the problem, rather the end result of living out of rhythm with myself. It was the mechanism I would turn to, to numb and suppress what I was feeling.

Learning to fully and clearly express myself has been a vital ingredient in claiming who I am. Before, I would keep things to myself, and be the polite boy. Whereas now, whilst still being respectful of others, I simply express what I am feeling (more and more) and do not keep thoughts bottled up inside.

By being open with myself and others, I have been able to deal with the pain and hurt that I had been carrying: along with making loving changes in my life, this has brought an end to my destructive episode with gambling.

I now see life as a constant refinement and unfolding of love – allowing more love to be, and discarding what is not love in my life. Whilst I may dip into, get caught in ‘my stuff’ and feel down, now these downs cannot hold me and do not take over my life as they used to.

So a HUGE thank you to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, who have inspired me to be more of the love that I naturally am.

By James Nicholson BNat, Frome, UK

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James Nicholson

A 30 year old man living in the Somerset countryside, with my partner Meg and dog Molly. I have travelled extensively and lived in places from Thailand, teaching Scuba diving, to Australia, studying Naturopathy at SCU, and then to London, working in a zoo, before venturing back to Frome, UK. I have a deep love for people, and find it really enjoyable helping them with their kitchen, bathroom and/or bedroom designs. I also love the beach, nature, and animals.

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912 Comments

  • MW says: November 25, 2017 at 12:00 pm

    What I get from this is the importance of not holding people in right and wrong but just bringing understanding as to what led to their actions, in doing this you don’t hold people to what they have done and thus support them to stay in those patterns but through love and understanding you allow the space for them to make true changes.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: April 22, 2018 at 3:46 pm

      That is a great point as the moment we hold someone to something they have done we essentially are condemning them and holding them in that energy which was never them in the 1st place. By bringing understanding we allow them space to feel the truth and love of who they are and then they can choose the love again. Otherwise we just confirm them in the destructive and unloving choices they made and so just make it worse for them.

      Reply
  • jacqmcfadden04 says: November 20, 2017 at 6:14 pm

    ‘I now see life as a constant refinement and unfolding of love – allowing more love to be, and discarding what is not love in my life’. Very wise James, I am in this process too, especially the discarding of what is not true or no longer serves me, which creates the space for more love to flow in all areas of my life.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: November 26, 2017 at 3:53 pm

      I have found that the only thing holding me back is hanging onto the past and trying to recreate it rather than allowing for what is now possible to come forth. Otherwise we just stay in the same constant turmoil with no true settlement as nothing changes.

      Reply
  • jacqmcfadden04 says: November 20, 2017 at 6:11 pm

    That we think that we get away with things is such a great belief/trick, in that, this can apply to everything in our lives, relationships, work, food etc. Every single choice we make either heals or harms, and informs our next choice and we always have to face those unloving choices to make different or more self-loving choices.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: January 9, 2018 at 4:52 pm

      And our choices will either build up a momentum of love so then our next choice is naturally more loving without thinking about it. Or we can build up a momentum of self disregard and harm and so then our next thought is of a similar ill ilk. If we are in the ill momentum of the latter then we have to realise and accept that we took to the steps away from love and so at first it may and will seem like a bit of a struggle because essentially there is a towing and throwing betweeen how we have been living and the love we are from. So this may take some time but the more we embrace and surrender to the love we are and do not fight it the easier this will be, until once again we feel it is natural to be love and anything less starts to stand out like a sore thumb.

      Reply
    • Amita says: August 20, 2018 at 5:00 am

      We are blessed that we constantly get a choice to choose, if we make a wrong choice we can always make another next time. We are constantly given the chance to choose love all the time, we may make a few wrong choices, but that is part of the learning.

      Reply
  • Christoph Schnelle says: November 15, 2017 at 5:25 am

    It seems that even if we gamble and win – for example in poker – gambling is still an expression of revenge. We clearly hurt our family if we lose but the activity is so harmful that winning does not make up for the harm.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: January 9, 2018 at 4:48 pm

      I completely agree Christoph it is the energy and the underlying reason and intent behind the gambling that we have to look at and address. No amount of money will ever make up for the destruction and devastation it causes. There is a lot more at play then we may first see.

      Reply
  • Leigh Matson says: November 10, 2017 at 5:24 pm

    “Gambling was never the problem, rather the end result of living out of rhythm with myself. It was the mechanism I would turn to, to numb and suppress what I was feeling.” I’d say take out the word gambling and put whatever behaviour we feel is abusive and that’s a great start to healing.

    Reply
    • Christoph Schnelle says: November 15, 2017 at 5:26 am

      I am not sure about this. Gambling is actually a very harmful activity. I would say there are activities that are particularly damaging in their own right.

      Reply
    • Amita says: August 20, 2018 at 5:02 am

      Just nominating and the abuse is the start to healing, no matter what it is, big or small.

      Reply
  • Stephanie Stevenson says: November 5, 2017 at 8:57 am

    How insidious even the smallest addiction is to our body. As we medicate ourself with various substances or distractions we have to keep on having more of the same fix to cover our sensitivity and delicateness in order to get through a day and function in the world. This is existence and not the joy that is possible to live with – Serge Benhayon’s presentations have inspired thousands of people to address the deep hurts that keep us locked in this vicious cycle and to develop a deeper level of self respect and self love.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: August 15, 2018 at 2:42 pm

      Very true Stephanie, ‘we have to keep on having more of the same fix to cover our sensitivity and delicateness in order to get through a day and function in the world.’ Only love conquers all and stops the incessant need to numb and distract ourselves.

      Reply
  • Elizabeth Dolan says: November 3, 2017 at 9:32 pm

    So many of us have that arrogance that you describe here James about thinking we can beat the system. What we forget is that we are the system and that it is not about beating anything but simply about being honest with ourselves.

    Reply
    • Lucy Dahill says: August 14, 2018 at 5:44 pm

      Yes because the system we are actually trying to beat knows so much more than we do about who is going to win or lose. We are puppets in this big game so even when we win we are losing. Goodness when you take a step back and understand how the game works there is a deeper understanding about why our movements to re-connect with ourselves are so important, movements that cut the ties to the puppet masters.

      Reply
      • James Nicholson says: August 15, 2018 at 2:50 pm

        I love it Lucy, making our ‘movements that cut the ties to the puppet masters’. We are otherwise essentially pawns being used to foster more separation thinking we are in control rather than being the love we are and inspiring others to be the same. We are either doing 1 or the other.

        Reply
    • James Nicholson says: August 15, 2018 at 2:48 pm

      Very true Elizabeth, we are only fooling ourselves when we think we can beat the system. Stopping to consider that we are the system is huge and changes the way we view life.

      Reply
    • Amita says: August 20, 2018 at 4:49 am

      So true what you share Elizabeth, we forgot that we are the system and its not about beating, but being absolutely honest with ourselves.

      Reply
  • Elaine Arthey says: October 17, 2017 at 3:43 pm

    ‘Gambling was never the problem, rather the end result of living out of rhythm with myself. It was the mechanism I would turn to, to numb and suppress what I was feeling.’ We all have these ‘go to’s’ that we use to escape our true responsibility. … and if we are really honest we know what we are doing and why. It can be hard to admit our turning away from ourselves, our rhythm and our evolution. Thank you for your expose here James for it is a great example of how focussing on the outside world for our wellbeing just does not work. It is what we feel from inside, our own inner knowing not the thoughts of recklessness or the shoulds or should nots that fill our heads that lead us out of the mire of self destruction.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: August 15, 2018 at 2:47 pm

      Thank you Eliane, ‘It is what we feel from inside’ that counts and matters the more we honour this the less space there is for any thoughts of doubt, self bashing or sel destruction to come in. And way more space for thoughts of appreciation and confirmation!

      Reply
  • Caroline Francis says: September 29, 2017 at 3:07 pm

    I cannot hold back and find ways to distract myself such as creating a drama or keeping myself busy to delay my evolution and the evolution of others. What is being asked of me is plain to see. It’s not like I have to march like a soldier because that causes even further complications or hold on for dear life to control others and situations but to allow myself the space and willingness to surrender in each and every moment and then I am connected and know that everything including myself is being taken care of.

    Reply
    • jacqmcfadden04 says: November 20, 2017 at 6:28 pm

      When doubt creeps in over a situation, I pause and I always come back to knowing that everything including myself is being taken care off – and that there is so much support for all of us when we live simply and self-honouring of ourselves and others. We are never alone….

      Reply
  • Amita says: September 18, 2017 at 4:31 pm

    James how beautiful, just by being open to love, allowed you and supported you in changing your ways. It just shows when we close down to love, then we can use anything to numb the pain and keep spinning in it, until we start to take responsibility for ourselves to choose to re-connect to the love we are and from.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: August 15, 2018 at 2:44 pm

      Thank you Amita, love is the greatest and only support we ever need to turn to as it the only thing that will ever arise us out of the mess we are in. We can distract, numb, make things look better but unless love is the basis and forefront of what we are choosing then nothing ever changes.

      Reply
      • Amita says: August 20, 2018 at 5:05 am

        Yes love has to be the basis of everything, it is the true foundation from what we build from.

        Reply
  • Suse says: September 3, 2017 at 5:08 am

    ‘By steadily building a strong foundation of love in my body, and making that my focus, the extremes of my emotions have gotten less extreme’. It’s amazing what happens in our day to day life when we start to heal ourselves by taking responsibility for our unloving patterns and hurts.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: August 15, 2018 at 2:45 pm

      It sure is amazing what happens, when we choose love in one area of our lives it has a knock on effect in all others.

      Reply
      • Amita says: August 20, 2018 at 5:12 am

        It is that simple, by starting to simple chose love in one area of ones life you can see a change in another area.

        Reply
  • Melinda Knights says: August 26, 2017 at 5:16 pm

    James I have experienced the same with Universal Medicine, they have helped me to come to greater understanding of myself and that has been a tremendous support in letting go of behaviours that are harmful to me. It’s likely a very common human experience to want to stop something, like gambling, smoking, or overeating, but willpower (no matter how strong our resolve) just doesn’t get us there – despite our best efforts we can find ourselves doing it again. For me reconnecting to my essence, to my body and honouring it’s messages, and committing to loving myself have been the key, along with understanding the root cause of the behaviour.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: September 3, 2017 at 4:36 pm

      The amount of times I have said I won’t do this or that, eat this or that etc.. and said sorry is almost unbearable to think of! Intelligence would say it should be easy to stop doing something you know is harming yet we easily return to old patterns and behaviours even once we have said never, never again. The only way I have found like you is to make love the underlying and fundamental part of my life so these self destructive behaviours do not take hold. Also seeing the benefits of looking after myself helps to counter the ill thoughts, so it is no longer a struggle or a fight rather: ‘no that does not support me anymore.’

      Reply
  • Vicky Cooke says: August 23, 2017 at 6:21 am

    Someone shared with me today that depression is just because we are not living or feeling joy. This makes sense to me and recently I felt that depression is just a choice so I guess the questions should be, to get to the root of the problem, why are we choosing this. I feel as soon as we home in on and nominate this something starts to shift.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: September 3, 2017 at 4:33 pm

      That is a great point Vicky, the challenging thing can be at those times, when we least feel the purpose to do something about life; but how low do we have to go before we stop choosing to indulge in the misery and suffering we are indeed choosing and instead walk with the love that we are. At first it may seen like a momentary thing but gradually it becomes the way of being and the depression no longer has any hold over you.

      Reply
    • Amita says: August 20, 2018 at 5:20 am

      I agree nominating stops the energy spinning and then something starts to shift.

      Reply
  • Roslyn Mahony says: August 21, 2017 at 3:19 pm

    Thank you for your honesty James in expressing your addictive behaviour and how you have been inspired and supported by Serge Benhayon on your journey to healing yourself. I am sure there are many of us who will be inspired by your sharing.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: August 15, 2018 at 2:51 pm

      Thank you Roslyn, it has been a long path, one with slips and falls but ultimately one of returning back to the love that I am. I just need to remind myself their is no perfection only love and learning.

      Reply
  • James Nicholson says: August 19, 2017 at 7:01 pm

    It is sad Julie and for me I see and always saw gambling as a way to not feel what I was feeling and to effectively fill the space/time it was never about the money. I would get off on thinking I could somehow beat the casino or the cards by working out what they were not by counting them in the traditional sense but by seeing what patterns they were coming out in and calling what the next one would be. And I was doing this to keep my mind distracted and foccussed on anything but feeling what was going on for me at the time. Pretty crazy and scary really what can happen when we chose not to deal with life and what we are feeling and sensing is going on.

    Reply
  • Julie says: August 17, 2017 at 3:51 pm

    Many years ago my then partner and I went to Las Vegas and as neither of us weren’t real gamblers, I think we decided we would spend $5 and when that went we were done. I recall not having the pull at the time and still don’t, but witnessed so many checked out people playing the machines it was scary and there are heaps of places in Vegas. It’s sad to think that all of these places are propped up by lots of empty people needing to fill their emptiness, and it’s a so called, normal thing.

    Reply
  • Chan Ly says: August 9, 2017 at 8:36 pm

    The gambling industry is huge, being addicted to gambling affects many, many people’s lives. I have heard this form of addiction break up families and destroy relationships. It is deeply harmful to the victims, their family and friends, and also to humanity.

    Reply
  • Sylvia Brinkman says: August 9, 2017 at 5:13 am

    I deeply appreciate James that you wrote your gambling life of the past. I had a person in my life who I love deeply who had this habit also in the past and I could not really understand why he did this and lied so much about it. It was hurting me because I was not willing to read what was really going on. The reason behind the gambling I am sure that If I knew I could support him much better.
    All my relations with people would be much better in the past if I knew what I learned now by studying with Universal Medicine.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: August 19, 2017 at 7:05 pm

      Thank you Sylvia, something I now have to be very watchful of is that when I find things may be getting tough not to go back to old habits esepcially the destructive ones. Because I have used them before they are always an opening or weakness. We think ok I moved on but there is always pay back once we have called in a force to get something, even if that something was not the picture we wanted we still effectively got exactly what we asked for so the energy/force then says ok now it is payback time and I will come when you least expect it.

      Reply
  • Elizabeth Dolan says: July 31, 2017 at 9:50 pm

    This blog brings such a great understanding to what gambling is all about. It also shows the way to heal the addiction of gambling is to connect deeply with ourselves, be honest and bring care and love to ourselves so that we are able to deal with the underlying hurts we carry.

    Reply
  • Fiona Lotherington says: July 28, 2017 at 8:26 pm

    It is amazing the lengths we will go to rather than feel that we are out of rhythm or not go into an apparent struggle. We all seem to have these fall backs when things go ‘bad’ or even when they go ‘too good’. They only start to dissolve as we have more loving care for ourselves.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: July 31, 2017 at 4:39 am

      I find it is amazing how many of these fall backs and go tos I have. It is like the auto pilot of old patterns can easily kick in when I am out of rhythm and disconnected from myself. I find they start subtle and get more extreme the more I ignore them!

      Reply
  • Stephen says: July 26, 2017 at 9:25 am

    We all have our attachments to things we know we want to let go of, and what is easy for one may be challenging for another. To have the willingness to discard old patterns of behaviour and stay open to learning from each situation feels most important. Once we break the pattern we may never go back to it. Sharing how we feel seems such a powerful way to not be held in the hurt of situations that are triggered by past experiences, thank you for sharing your story James.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: July 31, 2017 at 4:43 am

      Thank you Stephen – sharing and expressing how we are feeling without holding anything back is so powerful. I find problems or issues only really arise when I have kept things in and bottled them up. And as you say not being caught in the hurt or regret is also key. The more we look forward and let go of the past the less hold our old patterns have over us.

      Reply
  • Karin Barea says: July 24, 2017 at 7:17 am

    James I’ve not read this for a long time but what you’ve described is my experience of my personal choice of distraction and numbness. Many wow moments in this. I wonder if you’ve described what happens with people’s main choice of distraction, that they all have similar traits. I know I’ve had subsidiary distractions but there’s remained a constant one through out that only all that you’ve expressed has supported you to be who you are in truth has allowed me to choose a different energy and is very much a work in progress.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: August 6, 2017 at 11:59 pm

      It seems that we all have our go to behaviours and patterns when things get too much for us. The key is to not let ourselves fall too far and the moment we catch ourselves not being the love we are to stop and come back rather than going further away. It is only when we have gone quite a few steps away that the more harming chocies and behaviours kick in.

      Reply
  • Elodie Darwish says: July 21, 2017 at 5:49 am

    I can relate to having more awareness around the times I have ‘excuses’ to feel down and even to slip back into a state of depression. I have very recently been made redundant, a situation neither myself nor my boss wanted and it was a very sudden decision. Due to my work situation over the last few years being quite unstable, I am feeling the pull to go down the ‘this is too hard’ rabbit hole. It’s an interesting feeling, because on one hand, it feels like a necessary part of the mourning process simply because it’s familiar and how I’ve operated in the past, and on the other hand, I simply can’t be bothered wallowing and just want to get back on the horse. It’s an intense push/pull time where I’m toying with which road to choose. It’s obvious which one will support me most and I can appreciate the fact that the reason I have this option before me is due to my choice in building a love and appreciation for myself, something I didn’t know existed in the past.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: July 23, 2017 at 3:36 am

      I know for me there is a moment when I consciously say no to love and yes to not wanting to be aware and feel everything that is going on even though I know it’s not really going to help – it’s a temporary fix and relief. Like a buzz in a way. However the more I say yes to love and not accept any less no matter how tempting it may be the more support I feel and the less inclined I am to annihilate myself. My major vices have been sugar, tv and when I’m angry with the world and others and given up, then gambling which is very destructive and has no purpose other than to harm myself and everyone around me.

      Reply
  • natalie hawthorne says: July 12, 2017 at 6:38 am

    Gambling is one thing that I saw a lot in my life and it wasn’t pretty to watch from such a young age. The big highs when you won and then the big lows when you lost, its a bit like sports to a degree as with every outcome you are letting it dictate how you feel. People would look at gambling and see this as the worse of the two but really they are just as bad as each other, just one has become a recognised normal thing to do, more so than the other at least.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: July 12, 2017 at 2:24 pm

      I agree Natalie however I feel that gambling has a very destructive energy behind it which leads to separation whereas sport has a competitive side but again leading to separation. Ultimately though as you say effectively you are letting something completely outside of your control dictate to you how you feel. I know for myself with gambling it was never about the money as no matter how much a I won it was never enough. Even when I would make what a I said I wanted to I would always carry on.

      Reply
  • Christoph Schnelle says: July 1, 2017 at 9:52 am

    When we gamble, we sit down in the expectation to lose – there may be intermittent wins but the overall direction is clear. The question then becomes, why are we choosing an activity that we know will hurt us?

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: July 12, 2017 at 2:37 pm

      That is a great point. I have also found that it not only hurts us but deliberately hurts those around us as well. Which makes your question all the more poignant.

      Reply
  • Raegan says: June 21, 2017 at 9:29 am

    Great blog James, I feel that we could all relate to what you have shared, even if it isn’t the same distractions you have mentioned here. I know for myself, the distractions some time ago were indeed alcohol and drugs, but what I have come to realise, when I let those go in my life, the numbing and distracting was filled up with TV, facebook and indulging in long conversations with people. These things equally filled the same level of distraction within me, gave the the same feelings as numbing out on drugs and alcohol. I have since let go of the TV addiction (as that is what it was), still can feel I get sucked into facebook for too long, way to often still and well the distraction in conversation, is a work in progress. However, I have so much more awareness now, to how these distractions can just morph into other things, if the underlying issues hasn’t been addressed, which is always about our connection to self.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: July 12, 2017 at 2:28 pm

      The more we address the way we are with ourselves and deeply appreciate everything we bring I find the less I want to seek distractions. As you say we can let go of one thing but then simply replace it with another if we do not fully deal with and address any underlying issues we may be running with. I know for me it starts with not fully expressing what I am feeling, and gradually I find things build up until I want an out moment. And as you say it all comes back to the connection with ourselves – when we don’t have this then we a capable of anything really some may seem worse than others but it’s all the same ice cream just a different flavour.

      Reply
  • James Nicholson says: June 14, 2017 at 2:48 pm

    I agree we cannot just isolate one area and then think by addressing that everything will get somehow sorted. Gambling or other detrimental behaviours are a result of not living the love we know – for me it is like a quick extremely arrogant rebellious method of saying I can do what ever I want rather than actually going, hang on I must be way off track to even be considering such an extreme behaviour compared to the love I know I am. The more I delve into why I would go gambling, overeat, etc. the more I see the underlying issues at hand whether it be lack of self worth, not appreciating myself enough, feeling the world owes me something etc. etc.. the list goes on and on.

    Reply
  • James Nicholson says: June 14, 2017 at 4:25 am

    So very true Richard spot on. It is key that we deeply express what we are feeling and what is coming up for us rather than suppressing it in anyway. Even the smallest of things can suddenly end up into feeling like overwhelm. For me it means really letting go of any sense of pride and arrogance I have and wanting to look a certain way to just saying what I feel at 1st to myself and then to others.

    Reply
  • Rebecca Wingrave says: June 9, 2017 at 2:14 pm

    James, I can feel how focussing on what is love is really healing; ‘By steadily building a strong foundation of love in my body, and making that my focus, the extremes of my emotions have gotten less extreme’, I spent a lot of time focussing on the what is not love and did not appreciate all that is love and so would often be caught up in issues and just seeing the bad stuff, missing the beauty and love that was there all along, so I have now changed my focus and am started to appreciate myself, my life and my family and friends more and this feels very lovely and very building.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: June 11, 2017 at 3:00 pm

      It makes such a difference when we focus on love and not everything we are not. Otherwise we are effectively trying endlessly to get somewhere instead of realising we have it all within. I know how easy it is to get trapped in this rabbit hole. Yet when we commit to love in full then anything that is not love stands out – what then arises is how much glory will we accept that we are?!

      Reply
  • Carola Woods says: June 5, 2017 at 6:38 am

    It is so crazy how in life, when we have an overwhelming sense of dissatisfaction, unfulfillment, discontentment or unsettlement that we seek to mask, numb or distract ourselves from what we are feeling. Yet in truth, and I am sure we all experience how, we never can truly nullify what we are feeling. When we are willing to be honest with how we feel, we then are open to understanding how we got to feeling such lovelessness, and make the necessary choices to change or correct the unloving momentum we are living in, as such the vibration we are ultimately saying ‘yes’ to.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: June 11, 2017 at 3:04 pm

      I agree that nothing in this world can ever truly numb or suppress what we are feeling or trying to hide. I have tried pretty much everything and gone to great extremes yet I could always feel a big discontentment. The 1st step, as you say, is being open and honest to saying things are not right and then making the firm commitment to love no matter what. The rest then unfolds – the key is the consistency.

      Reply
  • Kylie Jackson says: May 29, 2017 at 8:31 pm

    Addictions are us seeking a certain something that serves us to avoid something else. If we pinpoint what it is we are avoiding, we realise the addiction is and always has been a choice and not an eternal prison.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: June 14, 2017 at 2:58 pm

      Well said Kylie, when we are in the addiction we do not see there is much other choice because it feels overwhelming. Yet when we choose to say ok this really isn’t me, or it really isn’t what I would choose to do to my body if I were to treat it loving so what program am I running with. The more we then delve into this the hold of the addiction goes away leaving room for the love we are. And as you say we then see we were choosing it for a reason. Gambling is and can be very destructive and carries with it a massive revenge energy which really needs to be exposed for what it is.

      Reply
  • Samantha England says: May 26, 2017 at 4:00 pm

    By seeing gambling as the problem and not what lays behind it we are leaving ourselves short of the true healing and learning on offer.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: June 13, 2017 at 2:48 pm

      This is one of the problems with AA or gamblers anonymous as it tries to address it directly without seeking to resolve or look at the underlying reasons for the behaviour. Without looking at these then either you will find yourself repeating the behaviour or something to the same ill effect. It does require honesty and a willingness to go ok what was it really that led me to go and do such a destructive behaviour?

      Reply
      • Christoph Schnelle says: July 1, 2017 at 9:53 am

        That is true. When we are not looking at the underlying reasons in full we are liable to repeat the behaviour or even increase it.

        Reply
    • Vicky Geary says: August 5, 2017 at 6:46 pm

      That’s exactly it Samantha. When the end result is the focus, the energy behind it all cannot be exposed.

      Reply
  • Joshua Campbell says: May 17, 2017 at 5:02 pm

    Reminds me of a period of my life where I was addicted to porn. Porn for me brought about the same shame and discontentment as gambling for you James. The result was never nice and you always knew it was never true to do it. It was just that there was so much emptiness within myself at that time that the turmoil and release from porn gave me some way of not feeling it.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: May 17, 2017 at 6:25 pm

      Thank you for sharing Joshua as I know what you mean with porn, they both completely take you away from reality. When I look and feel why I really gambled it has to do with seeking revenge, seeking revenge on those around me my parent, family etc.. and was a way of saying up yours to the world but in a very destructive way. With porn I have found it a way to say well I don’t want true intimacy with anyone, noting the intimacy I am referring to is not sexual rather a complete openness) and that all I want is physical relief. There are so many things with different flavours we turn to to avoid being the amazing beings we are – it really is crazy.

      Reply
  • Shushila says: May 16, 2017 at 4:28 pm

    Self love is the answer to all our problems and issues. If we just took the time to take care of ourselves more deeply and more lovingly then many of our hangups wouldn’t be weighing us down or even controlling our lives.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: May 17, 2017 at 6:31 pm

      I agree self love is a great answer however what really gets underneath any problems or issues I have is purpose because with purpose the problems or issues are put into perspective and not clung onto so deeply so I can move on with life dealing with what needs to be dealt with but not being weighed down by them.

      Reply
  • Nikki McKee says: April 28, 2017 at 5:17 am

    It is interesting that anything that was bought with the won money was laced with the same energy – everything is energy.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: May 17, 2017 at 6:29 pm

      Indeed everything is energy and the energy seeks more of itself – you very rarely see someone win big and not come back. I remember a story of a lady in Australia winning around $8million dollars on Baccarat and then ending up $2million dollars in debt quite soon afterwards because of the compulsion to come back. No amount of money is ever enough and it does show that everything is energy because you would easily stop once you have enough. There is soo much more going on than purely what we can see – the question is do we choose to be obedient to the unseen forces or call them out for what they are pure evil?

      Reply
  • Samantha England says: April 23, 2017 at 6:08 am

    It can be gambling, smoking, taking drugs, over eating, all our harmful habits are indeed calls for help, ignoring this call allows for addiction to take place.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: May 16, 2017 at 5:40 pm

      Well said Samantha they are calls for help as well as choices to choose to not live in the fullness of the love that we know we are.

      Reply
  • Jill Steiner says: April 13, 2017 at 7:24 am

    So many ways of being that are used in life and Gambling is just one of them used to cover up and distract us from feeling the pain of our hurts, often we have to get to the end of our tether so to speak before we are willing to look inward and take responsibility for our actions. Through understanding that we are love and bring that love into our daily living our hurts can be healed and our lives changed forever.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: June 13, 2017 at 2:51 pm

      The more I catch myself as soon as I feel I am not being loving with myself the quicker and simpler it is to bring myself back to the love I know. When I leave it longer I can find myself wanting to do and/or doing completely unnatural things which are definitely not the James I am or know myself to be. What it shows is that when we essentially give up on the love that we know we are then literally anything is possible and the consequences can then be extremely hard to live with if we do not fully address them.

      Reply
  • felicity says: April 12, 2017 at 10:29 pm

    i really like how james has shared this story of how he overcame his gambling problem behaviour. its crazy how many people suffer when gambling becomes a problem, and how easily it can be turned around if the willingness is there.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: May 17, 2017 at 6:33 pm

      It can easily be turned around but there needs to be a real willingness to address why you gambled in the 1st place otherwise it can be moved on from but left as a seed to come back when things do not go your way. Seeing the truly destructive and revengeful nature of gambling with the effects it has on all those around you is what now makes me so no, you have no part in my life. Whereas before it felt like it was lingering in the background.

      Reply
  • Samantha England says: April 9, 2017 at 8:01 pm

    The problem world wide with gambling is set to increase, mainly because more and more people are disheartened with life and will do anything to avoid feeling this. The crazy thing is if we simply stop, reconnect and listen to what our hearts really wants it stops us from going down a path ultimately filled with trickery and illusion.

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: June 14, 2017 at 2:51 pm

      It is crazy when you stop to look at it as after all we all know the house wins yet want to somehow fool ourselves. And the house wins far more than the money we have placed on the table even if we walk away with more than we came from inevitably we will be called back. Every gambler knows this. And the truth is as you say ‘if we simply stop, reconnect and listen to what our hearts really wants it stops us’. The question is when the call comes are we willing to be truly honest with others or continue to bury what we are feeling?

      Reply
    • Lucy Dahill says: August 14, 2018 at 5:52 pm

      I know Samantha, it sounds so easy doesn’t it and yet how set up is the world to tell us it is our right and free will to do these things?! They are harmless activities till you lose your home, have relationship breakdowns or get so distracted by your hobby that you let things slide that you would normally have picked up as a problem straight away.

      Reply
  • Joshua Campbell says: April 4, 2017 at 3:42 am

    We cannot add to undervalue the beauty of such life changing choices. Even if at times they may become what we feel is normal, and even common sense which they in truth are, the choices made have been HUGE as they are true energetic changes in how one lives and views life not just a mere cover of the issue running underneath

    Reply
    • James Nicholson says: June 14, 2017 at 2:54 pm

      Joshua appreciation is huge and is definitely not something enough of! The more I do it the more I say yes to what I have chosen the less hold my old ill choices and behaviours have over me. If we do not appreciate we can have literally the whole world and universe with us and yet not see it because we get stuck into thinking it’s all about us or I am not good enough etc. Choosing love in the world as it currently is, is huge because it goes against the trend yet it is something we all deeply want and crave. So it’s time to appreciate in full the love we are.

      Reply
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