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Everyday Livingness
Sexism, Social Issues 694 Comments on Gender Equality — It Starts With Me Now

Gender Equality — It Starts With Me Now

By Adele Leung · On November 1, 2015 ·Photography by Clayton Lloyd

Recently an opportunity presented for me to take a deeper look at whether I was living gender equality in my day-to-day life as a woman.

As women, not only is it important for us to invite men to step up and look at these gender equality issues in a non-imposing, non-judgmental way, it is equally important for us to invite ourselves to step up to living this gender equality also.

Therefore I asked myself:

“Do I always live this gender equality that has been known in my heart as an irrefutable truth?”

The answer is “No”. So no matter what I see in the world today, and not depending on how the world responds back to me, can I commit to consistently live this truth, starting with myself?

I started to consider how I could truly live gender equality within myself:

  • Even though I am equally committed and devoted to the work that I do as any male counterpart, I had been setting my prices well below what my male colleagues were charging. I have now revised my prices by feeling what I am truly worth. Honouring my true worth as a woman has completely changed how I feel about myself, and how I hold myself as a woman in the workplace and in life.
  • I had believed that if I did not put in the same long hours as men do or approach a job competitively, then I could not reap the same results or be respected equally in my career. I now truly value what I bring, having a young son to look after and having a full-time career at the same time. Through being asked to be equally present and focussed with my work or at home in the kitchen with a very hungry child, I know that I am ready to engage with presence and focus in any new spontaneous situation.
  • I realised that I was still holding myself back in how I was expressing with males at certain times – there was a reservation on my side. Holding back as a woman with men is holding myself back as a human being. Ultimately it is a holding back of all women and all men. For example, I now commit to looking men in their eyes equally to how I naturally hold my glance with a woman I meet on the street or in the elevator. I don’t dress differently when it is men I am meeting, no matter who they are, expressing what my heart feels exactly, in all vulnerability and power, in all silly-fullness and seriousness. The freedom experienced in not holding back is simply amazing.
  • When I have been with men in friendly and professional settings I have had the expectation of being treated with more care and attention, like gentlemen treat women. But if I’m honest, I had not been consistently treating myself with deep care and love, so that lack of worth towards myself is what men have been reflecting back to me. When I stop expecting men to act in a certain way and then feel hurt when they don’t, I start living the preciousness of the woman and the human being I am. Responding to the preciousness I feel within me stops the need to be rewarded by something outside of myself. How a man chooses to act does not determine how precious I am.
  • As a woman I had accepted that in male/female relationships I had to give more, understand more, allow more and accept more compared to my male partner. When I stop hanging on to the belief that men cannot be as understanding, allowing, accepting, or giving because of their past hurts, what I allow is a much greater love to be expressed; and men meet me back with constant beautiful surprises confirming that they are everything I know them to be.

Having said all that, I’m coming back to a deep knowing that men are made of the absolute same essence and sensitivity as women are, and that there is no difference in our ability to feel. As women and as men our love can only be true when we begin to accept and live this knowing.

Indeed, if as women and as men we now take responsibility without delay and live and express the love that we are, then we are truly here for each other. Gender equality is what we know to be truly true between men and women: it is the true relationship between men and women that can be lived.

Living the truth of who I am is an ongoing inspiration received from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine — and its teachings and all the reflections from its students.

By Adele Leung, Image director, Hong Kong

Further Reading:
Gender Equality: How far have we come?
Equalness and Being a Man
The Truth of Love – Equally for All

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Adele Leung

Has recently re-discovered the playfulness of hanging out with her soul, and hence forth found many new discoveries such as – that she actually loves people more than mountains and that simplicity is her new black. Living in Hong Kong, and enjoying intimacy with 7 million others.

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694 Comments

  • Debra Douglas says: November 1, 2015 at 5:59 pm

    Great blog Adele and it exposes how I know I can expect from others more than I am prepared to give to myself. Bizarre yet true. What pressure we put on others, without looking at ourselves and what we can do first. I loved this line – “How a man chooses to act does not determine how precious I am.” So true, and also true for how anyone treats us, be it our family, friends or work colleagues.

    Reply
    • Adele Leung says: November 3, 2015 at 6:13 am

      Giving ourselves back what we expect from others is the start of self-love, living this consistently, it is only love then that we can be to others.

      Reply
  • Alexandre Meder says: November 1, 2015 at 5:52 pm

    Beautiful article Adele, it is a great reminder that in essence men and women are equally the same and should we want true equality in the world out there, it starts from our own home which the world then reflect back to us.

    Reply
    • Adele Leung says: November 6, 2015 at 7:51 am

      Alexander, everything does start in our own home, in our bodies—do our bodies reflect Truth, and how are we choosing to express it?

      Reply
  • Judith says: November 1, 2015 at 5:50 pm

    “When I stop hanging on to the belief that men cannot be as understanding, allowing, accepting, or giving…”. Great point Adele, this attitude already holds the other less, thinking they are not as capable as we are and that certainly is not equality.

    Reply
    • Jo Swinton says: November 2, 2015 at 6:06 pm

      I agree Judith, thinking that men are not capable of understanding, allowing or giving as women are is judging them to be less and stunts them in their expression when they are with us. How freeing to know that men are very capable to be all that a woman can be and vice versa. Love does not divide.

      Reply
  • Vicky Cooke says: November 1, 2015 at 5:44 pm

    It is funny how we do not see ourselves as equal, regardless of gender in many things such as pay. Women are still seen as less then men in many parts of the world.

    Reply
    • Alex says: November 2, 2015 at 7:02 am

      And it is indeed up to both genders to change and overcome inequality just like Adele is presenting as both hold hurts, behaviours, ideals and beliefs that contribute to inequality, some more obvious than others but nevertheless inequality can only be continued as long as men and women feed them to each other by expectation and reaction. The moment one gender or person claims equality for themselves they also recognize the other to be equal, hence the dynamic stops and the one holding on to inequality is no longer confirmed.

      Reply
    • Adele Leung says: November 6, 2015 at 7:49 am

      And it may be a while for re-correction to happen in the world, Vicky the point for me is not to starve and not get work if I am not paid equally as men, but to live this equality with everyone is to express when inequality is felt and seen in the details of daily life and not leave it ignored, we are all here to reflect and inspire each other in Brotherhood.

      Reply
  • Anne Hishon says: November 1, 2015 at 5:40 pm

    This is a great sharing to reflect on Adele. To be able to appreciate the sensitivity that men also naturally hold within helps eradicate some of the ideals and beliefs which are held about men in our society. Thank you.

    Reply
  • Rebecca Turner says: November 1, 2015 at 5:35 pm

    It’s so true Adele that we cannot expect to be treated as equals to men if we do not value ourselves and hold ourselves as such. The way we are treated reflects the way that we treat ourselves.

    Reply
    • Adele Leung says: November 3, 2015 at 6:08 am

      We can only be true to ourselves and when we are, we can only be true to another. How anyone chooses is their choice and their right. Equality is not something we can force upon anyone, we can only live it and allow another to choose how they wish to express.

      Reply
    • Vicky Geary says: November 3, 2015 at 8:19 pm

      So simple and so true Rebecca. We choose exactly how we are going to be treated. And that doesn’t mean we are at the mercy of others, we are the one’s choosing how we are going to treat or hold ourselves in every situation.

      Reply
  • Samantha Westall says: November 1, 2015 at 5:16 pm

    It is so easy to complain about inequality without looking at how we have contributed to and even perpetuated the issue. For any true change to take place, we need to get very honest about the part we have played and take responsibility for living and expressing all that we are without holding back, so that this can be truly felt in its authority and then never allowed to be diminished by ourselves or others.

    Reply
    • Simone Lewis says: November 3, 2015 at 8:31 pm

      It is a hard pill to swallow Samantha, but I agree. We each have a responsibility through our choices in each moment. Are we choosing equality to “look good” or be seen to do the right thing? Or are we truly meeting each other as equals by holding ourselves in all that we know we are?

      Reply
  • Elaine Arthey says: November 1, 2015 at 5:12 pm

    “How a man chooses to act does not determine how precious I am.” Thank you Adele. I so know this to be true but let it slip time and time again, giving my power away . This very statement, being so true and coming in your amazing and brilliant blog supports me in the strength and power of my preciousness.

    Reply
    • Adele Leung says: November 3, 2015 at 6:04 am

      Elaine, I live in a culture where closeness is not shown especially not from men. I have been despaired for a long time until now I have come to the conclusion, that just means they do not choose to be close, that’s all—it is everyone’s right to choose. Is that normal? Definitely not, and that has to be expressed, but it does not diminish my preciousness whether closeness is something reflected outwardly in our culture or not.

      Reply
    • Raegan says: November 4, 2015 at 11:22 am

      I also love this Elaine, how a man chooses to act does not determine how precious I am! So very true, I know for me I have given my power away to men, thinking that their view of me should feed in some way the make up of who i am. I have allowed that, but over time and the assistance and love from Universal Medicine practitioners and workshops, I have a very different view of myself and what does make up me, which is not to look outside of myself for anything, least of all acceptance and love from someone else.

      Reply
  • Felix Schumacher says: November 1, 2015 at 5:03 pm

    A new beginning to live true brotherhood. To let go of capping our expression is so freeing. When we allow ourselves to feel the essence instead of feeling the differences, connection just flows.

    Reply
    • Adele Leung says: November 5, 2015 at 6:01 am

      If equality is our foundation, we would be feeling our essence over differences, and truth would be simply expressed without investment of how it is received or responded, for inequality simply does not feel true in brotherhood.

      Reply
    • Adele Leung says: November 6, 2015 at 7:41 am

      Felix so well expressed, Gender Equality is a return to true Brotherhood, which gender is not the focus, but the Love of human beings are.

      Reply
  • Leigh Matson says: November 1, 2015 at 4:55 pm

    Thats pretty cool how you have managed to see past so many images of how each gender should be and get right down to the fact that we are the same by essence. Male or Female we are both human beings – so why do we treat each other as if we were different species? Most if not all of these ‘gender gap’ arguments blanket blame the other gender but if everyone is holding back then if someone doesn’t start then who will? for their current gender and the other.

    Reply
    • Adele Leung says: November 6, 2015 at 7:39 am

      Leigh it is pretty cool when we realize the only true truth in human interactions is Brotherhood and start living as such.

      Reply
  • rosanna bianchini says: November 1, 2015 at 4:53 pm

    What is fascinating is that true gender equality has in fact not a focus on gender but on the equal-honouring that holds both man and woman with the same love. Therefore, gender equality as we have grown up to think of it is a misnomer, it’s not about trying to make man and woman equal, we are already equal! True gender equality comes instead from honouring each equally.

    Reply
    • Adele Leung says: November 2, 2015 at 6:16 am

      Equality is simply living who we are, no matter our gender. And we inspire each other while doing so. Very simple.

      Reply
    • Marika says: November 2, 2015 at 12:03 pm

      Rosanna, this is a gold nugget…

      ‘it’s not about trying to make man and woman equal, we are already equal! True gender equality comes instead from honouring each equally.’

      Reply
    • Rachel Andras says: November 2, 2015 at 2:57 pm

      Well said Rosanna, we are already equal and because we focus on the differences we created unequalness which we now try to undo by applying gender equality. Gender inequality has been created by deciding to individualize and to prioritize the performance of one over another. Gender inequality has been created by focusing on the doing and not on the being. If we connect to our beingness we can all feel the equalness we are in our essence. The problem with gender equality is that we are trying to address the ill of inequalities from the same source and quality we created it and this never works. Living only a tiny aspect of individualism and with this the comparison and recognition that individualism needs we will never live our true equalness. Only by honoring the qualities each of us brings and the commitment to true brotherhood will be the path to true equality.

      Reply
    • Mary Adler says: November 2, 2015 at 3:43 pm

      I agree Rosanna. As a woman, if I meet a man and see him as different to me in essence then I am already in separation. If I meet a man as equal in essence but with his own physical expression then we are already equal.

      Reply
    • jeanette says: November 4, 2015 at 3:08 am

      That is a beautiful point rosanna, true equality comes from honouring each equally. This also means honouring children and the elderly equally no matter whether male or female. If we start with ourselves and include that same love and respect equally with children how can they help but grow up knowing the truth of it.

      Reply
    • Susie Williams says: November 8, 2015 at 7:31 am

      Very well said Rosanna. And thus instead of trying to ‘fix’ the problem and develop equality – we should be RETURNING to an individual expression where we can love all equally.

      Reply
    • Donna Gianniotis says: November 10, 2015 at 3:50 pm

      This is an awesome point Rosanna. We are all responsible for the gap between the genders because we have made it about the genders opposed to feeling and expressing from the equalness in us all.

      Reply
  • Luke Yokota says: November 1, 2015 at 4:52 pm

    Equality starts from within.
    I know I have been caught playing the blame game to justify my behaviour.
    Whenever things are going south I would blame another or a situation to why it was so difficult to stand tall and solid in how I would like to act and be.

    This was the trap!

    Even though I accepted some responsibility that I have a part to play. I blamed others for making it harder for me to play my part.

    Imagine running a cross country that was only 1 km, completely flat and my only task was to reach the finish line. Essential what I was doing was blaming others for changing the terrain. I blamed them for changing the rules from running 1km to 50km and saying I had to climb mountains, swim across rivers and wrestle tigers.

    Reply
    • Monika Korb says: November 4, 2015 at 5:54 am

      You feel less stressed Luke – not being the victim any longer. It is so easy to blame others and there is always a story waiting from the head that makes the show go on in the never-ending blaming game. You have made the step out of it and that is so profound and inspiring for the young man you are. The world needs more young people taking responsibility and true leadership, this is awesome Luke!

      Reply
    • Adele Leung says: November 6, 2015 at 7:34 am

      Luke, the Truth of Equality does start with this Truth being felt and consolidated within our bodies, then it is simply Truth that wishes to be expressed.

      Reply
    • Deanne Voysey says: November 15, 2015 at 9:07 pm

      Luke you are writing about psychology and something I know I can be tripped up by too – holding a picture of how I expect something and/or others to be and not wanting to play ball anymore if what I expect and what is actual are not matching up. Your line ‘ I blamed others for making it harder for me to play my part.’ encapsulates this exactly.

      Reply
  • Michael Kremer says: November 1, 2015 at 4:44 pm

    “It starts with me” – so true Adele. Everything we observe as not being right in this world will only change if WE start to make a difference first, not by putting a grand show, but by choosing to address this issue in our own lives and live differently, so that we can be an inspiration to others. Nothing is more convincing than walking your talk.

    Reply
    • Sonja Ebbinghaus says: November 4, 2015 at 5:54 am

      Very pregnant sentence: ‘It starts with me’ – gender equality starts with me (or as Luke said ‘within’ me). If I do not put myself above or below someone but feel my value and self worth in equality to everyone else, then gender somehow ceases to exist – at least in the meaning of discrimination.

      Reply
  • Alison Moir says: November 1, 2015 at 4:41 pm

    “As a woman I had accepted that in male/female relationships I had to give more,”… this is the belief I had too Adele that I was not enough just being me, and that I had to somehow prove that I was worthy to be in their company let alone accept that I could possibly be equal to them

    Reply
  • Alison Moir says: November 1, 2015 at 4:40 pm

    When we are true to ourselves it is easier to see everyone as equal, as soon as we start to look outside for recognition or we want to put men or women on a pedestal as being better than us then there is immediately an in-equality.

    Reply
    • Adele Leung says: November 6, 2015 at 7:30 am

      Alison, being true to ourselves consistently in life consolidates Truth within our bodies, and this is the Truth that our bodies will move and express in, very simply so.

      Reply
  • Sylvia Brinkman says: November 1, 2015 at 4:39 pm

    I noticed that I always was holding back with men. I gave my power away to them. Certain things I would not express when I was feeling that it would trigger their anger. Also I would hold back if I felt that the man was trying to go in a sexual energy with me. I was holding back to not be involved in that energy.
    Then I started to experiment with that, to see what would happen when I stayed open to the other, just being me, looking the other in the eyes, no avoiding and also not feeling repsonsible for the reaction of the man if so. It felt very powerful, very beautiful towards myself and the other that I stood in that love.

    Reply
    • Adele Leung says: November 3, 2015 at 5:59 am

      I feel that too Sylvia, it is powerful to simply connect no matter what the other person chooses—whether it be sexual energy, anger, comparison, arrogance, holding back. When we truly connect with another, we offer the reflection of Love. Sometimes this reflection could be a gentle looking into another’s eyes, other times Love could be an offer for us to fall flat on our faces.

      Reply
      • Monika Korb says: December 14, 2015 at 5:37 am

        When I hold me in the beautiful essence of the women that I am, it has an impact onto men. It is beyond the sexual attraction and it offers a meeting point where we can explore more, that goes far deeper from where a honest conversations is possible. There is so much more to discover, and we women hold the key to our reunion in gender equalness.

        Reply
    • Raymond Karam says: November 6, 2015 at 5:32 am

      Hello Sylvia Brinkman, it appears we so often perceive things outside of us as a point to control ‘how we are’. These perceptions can be held by us and then carried from meeting to meeting or relationship to relationship. As you are saying from a deep connection and responsibility for ourselves everything changes. Anytime we focus or perceive something outside of us is going to happen is a point or moment to reflect on what is happening for us, a reflection for ourselves. Be steady and connect to how you alone are feeling at that point will already change many things. Every point is a reflection for us. As you are also saying, open up to the world and appreciate the value of what is in front of you and all around you and things will change. Hold onto perceptions or of how things have been and you will most likely walk into the same thing again. It’s not so much about ‘them’ doing it again but about you still holding onto it.

      Reply
  • Josephine Bell says: November 1, 2015 at 4:28 pm

    Adele, I feel that when I don’t treat myself with tenderness and care consistently and to the depth and precision required then I feel more needy of the attention or love from the man/men outside. While it is always lovely and confirming to be treated in a gentlemanly way if that doesn’t happen I am more easily the observer of the behaviour if I have sufficiently cared for myself.

    Reply
    • Giselle says: November 2, 2015 at 7:33 am

      Hear hear, well said Josephine Bell. Precisely true for me too.

      Reply
    • Annie says: November 3, 2015 at 9:49 pm

      Very true Josephine. How we treat ourselves and others will be enough of a reflection to the men around us and will show what we will accept or not accept from them in terms of treatment.

      Reply
    • Deanne Voysey says: November 15, 2015 at 8:46 pm

      Thank you Josephine- I can feel the accountability your comment comes from and also the potential power we have to observe when we have sufficiently cared for ourselves.

      Reply
    • Ester says: November 21, 2015 at 3:04 pm

      That is so very true what you have shared in your amazing comment Josephine and I can only agree because this is also my own experience – by the way to be not treated in a gentlemanly way is the best marker for me to know what I have to do!

      Reply
  • Stephen G says: November 1, 2015 at 4:28 pm

    Great to read that you have placed a value on yourself Adele, we need to value ourselves first and foremost before we look out expecting others to do likewise. It is great to read of your experiences and allied to your own role there is certainly a lot we as men should be doing to value all woman with the equality and respect that should be a given.

    Reply
    • Adele Leung says: November 2, 2015 at 6:12 am

      Men and women are here to reflect to each other and inspire each other to be more, and this is a relationship that can only go deeper. True confirmation, is always what we give to ourselves, it can’t be given to us, any confirmation from the outside is already felt and lived within ourselves.

      Reply
    • Raymond Karam says: November 6, 2015 at 5:21 am

      Hello Stephen G and I agree. A key to this value is possibly appreciating the value others bring as well. The moment you lock into any perceptions, man or woman, age etc you don’t see the value. We all have value and in any moment appreciating that value, no matter how small it may appear changes the nature of the relationship. If you are having difficulty seeing your value, look around and appreciate what you see in others. The moment you see this and build on it you will have the awareness that you can only ‘see’ this in others because it has a spark within you first.

      Reply
  • Anne Hart says: November 1, 2015 at 4:27 pm

    Great question to ponder Adele. On first reading this stood out: ‘When I stop expecting men to act in a certain way and then feel hurt when they don’t, I start living the preciousness of the woman and the human being I am. Responding to the preciousness I feel within me stops the need to be rewarded by something outside of myself.’ We must treat ourselves with the greatest honour and equalness rather than seek it from others. I have work to do!

    Reply
  • Rebecca Wingrave says: November 1, 2015 at 4:23 pm

    I can really relate to what you have written Adele, ‘As a woman I had accepted that in male/female relationships I had to give more, understand more, allow more and accept more compared to my male partner.’ There seems to be an expectation that this is what women do in relationships, that men are insensitive, that feelings are what women not men have and that men earn money, have hobbies, don’t really like to talk about things and are less understanding, i can feel how if we as women accept this to be true and so do not ask men to be more, to be the truly sensitive, expressive, understanding, caring beings that they are then we all loose out.

    Reply
    • Adele Leung says: November 2, 2015 at 6:09 am

      Knowing the essence of men, we know the essence of ourselves, expressing this for both women and men without the investment of how anyone chooses, we take the responsibility of simply being who we are. The inspiration is in our every breath, the choice to be inspired is always with the other. And we constantly go deeper with this, and how beautiful it is the relationship with life.

      Reply
  • James Nicholson says: November 1, 2015 at 4:21 pm

    Gender equality is an interesting topic Adele, so often its women’s rights which touted and men are slain for their ill behaviours and not truly understand. Women go into competing against men for dominance rather than equalness. In essence we are all the same man or women yet in physicality we have differences and for me it is key that we honour our strengths and build on our weaknesses. But not in a way of out doing or competing with another. Women have a lot to show and inspire men when they live from who they truly are and do not try to compete as a man, similarly when men let go of trying compete and be the top dog they can show women quite how tender and sensitive they are. So we can learn and be inspired by each other, but to compare is deadly and certainly does not breed any sense of equality.

    Reply
    • Adele Leung says: November 2, 2015 at 6:03 am

      Comparison simply keeps both genders locked in a false version of themselves, it is so exhausting and uninspiring, for we all know we are so much more. In equality and true brotherhood, we inspire one another to be more.

      Reply
      • Kathryn Fortuna says: November 4, 2015 at 6:03 am

        Yes and playing the comparison game just keeps us floating around the top of a shallow puddle rather than diving deeply into the ocean of brotherhood and enjoying true relationships with everyone regardless of gender.

        Reply
    • Giselle says: November 2, 2015 at 7:17 am

      Absolutely James Nicholson, enter comparison and any potential of living in Brotherhood is extinguished, and competition reigns supreme. Enter self acceptance and self appreciation, and stand we will with our equal Brothers in the body of Gods love.

      Reply
    • Nico van Haastrecht says: November 2, 2015 at 2:06 pm

      I love what you say James, that we can learn from and being inspired by each other instead of comparing and competing. when we are willing and open to go there, we will come to the understanding that we are here to learn from each other instead of outdoing one another in competition. We will appreciate one another for that and celebrate the physical differences and the equality in essence we have to share and this will bring to us the beauty of a united humanity in which there is the appreciation of the multitude in physical expression in that.

      Reply
    • Susie Williams says: November 4, 2015 at 7:41 am

      Very well said James. In the fight for equality it has become just that – a fight – when as you say we could be approaching the disharmony between the genders by appreciating and honouring our strengths, and building on our weaknesses. There are naturally qualities that both genders bring, and only one gender brings, and this is something we have to accept, because otherwise we will be forever striving to attain attributes our body is simply not designed to have, e.g. men are naturally physically stronger than women – yet many women make it their life goal to ‘bulk up’ and compete with them, denying their true shape and physique.

      Reply
      • Raymond Karam says: November 6, 2015 at 5:15 am

        Hello Susie Williams I agree. I see that through “appreciating and honouring our strengths” or values the perceived ‘weaknesses’ will be non existent. The ‘building’ should be on the value we are rather then attempting to be on something we are not. We aren’t built to do things on our own and so through appreciating and honouring everything around us, the everything will support us. This also takes care of the gender because as is being said we are truly all equal but for me if we appreciate the value someone brings then it doesn’t matter who or what they are, this is the part we are ‘working’ with. The moment we see a divide and then try to bring that divide together, it is still divided but if we appreciate the value of what we feel then you are less attached to where and from whom it comes from.

        Reply
    • Deanne Voysey says: November 15, 2015 at 8:35 pm

      I like this point James – men and women are equal but have some differences that are to be acknowledged and honoured. In so doing they nourish and support the other rather than denigrate and compete against each other.

      Reply
  • lrena Haze says: November 1, 2015 at 4:21 pm

    It can be so subtle, the imbalance and what we allow or not. This is a big one for me to ponder. As l can oscillate between both, depending on the person and how l feel about them and myself.

    Reply
    • Adele Leung says: November 6, 2015 at 7:23 am

      Feeling the subtlies of imbalance—that awareness is gold Irena.

      Reply
  • Josephine Bell says: November 1, 2015 at 4:16 pm

    ‘When I stop hanging on to the belief that men cannot be as understanding, allowing, accepting, or giving because of their past hurts, what I allow is a much greater love to be expressed; and men meet me back with constant beautiful surprises confirming that they are everything I know them to be.” This is interesting Adele, because it could look like the other way round, that it is more loving for women to understand any of men’s less than loving behaviour as being because of their past hurts and rejection issues. What I am hearing you say is the next level which is holding them in equality asks them to be all they are equally to what you are presenting. To do this a women has to be steady in her own connection and being of love, without perfection.

    Reply
    • Adele Leung says: November 2, 2015 at 6:00 am

      The steadiness lies in having no investment in how anyone chooses, for the connection with oneself is enough. Thank you Josephine for bringing this deeper.

      Reply
    • Adele Leung says: November 3, 2015 at 5:50 am

      Holding each other in equality Josephine I find is to never treat anyone less or more but being in deep understanding to all concerned. Not everyone chooses to be treated in equality, but this does not change how we choose, no matter the choices of another. It is definitely not easy at times, but there we go, another opportunity to go deeper in connection with ourselves.

      Reply
    • Bernard Cincotta says: November 10, 2015 at 5:14 am

      I have always felt that women give more, and lead the way in relationships. Men seem to be a bit awkward and not know how to be, while women seem to be more confident in knowing what to do, and men take the approach if its ok with her its ok with me. I feel that men step back and do not take as much responsibility or commitment to the relationship as their women leaving them to take the initiative when something needs to be addressed. This is not true or fair, as you have shared Josephine and I agree. I feel us men could use some encouragement in this regard.

      Reply
  • Janet Williams says: November 1, 2015 at 4:11 pm

    Thank you, Adele. Developing a deeper relationship with yourself allows you to feel that every man and woman on the planet have the same sensitivity and tenderness. We just don’t always show it and have different ways of protecting ourselves, rather than trusting each other and the exquisiteness of what lies within.

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    • Katerina Nikolaidis says: November 2, 2015 at 5:07 am

      Yes Janet, that’s it. and perhaps because gender inequality has been so rife in workplaces and in life in general and we have all been hurt by this, we put up the walls pf protection and close ourselves down from bringing all of us, openly to day to day life. When we don;t bring all of who we are, we are bringing a lesser part of us — and so equality is questioned — by ourselves , knowing we are bringing less than we are, and by others who pick up on this even without realising. Equality comes with the responsibility to open up and be ourselves in full. When we let all of us come out we absolutely know we are al equal in the divinity of essence each and everyone of us has.

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    • Carola Woods says: November 2, 2015 at 6:39 am

      Beautifully said Janet – I agree. There IS so much exquisiteness to appreciate within, within others and through our togetherness, when we choose to let go of protecting our hurts and trust in the love we all equally are within.

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    • Adele Leung says: November 5, 2015 at 5:54 am

      Janet, a few days ago I went to swim and all the lanes were occupied, so I chose a lane to share with another swimmer, he was male. When I first went in, he was swimming almost in the middle of the lane, so I had to swim near to the next lane just to not be hit by his forceful strokes. I swam two lanes, and he was still swimming like this. Then I decided I am not going to swim timid, and will just swim with my full presence and when I did that, he started to open up space (and respect) between us and when I observed how he swam, his movements became much more gentle. When I finished swimming and was waiting in the bus stop for the bus, a man came over and said “hi” to me, although I could not see the face of the man swimming in the lane because he had big goggles on, nor could he see me for the same reason, I have a feeling this man was the same man I shared the swimming lanes with.

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      • Deanne Voysey says: November 15, 2015 at 8:25 pm

        Adele, I appreciate you sharing this example – this is the kind of thing I have known myself to do whether it has been a man or a woman – to take up less space to make myself as inconsequential as possible as a way to placate and avoid dealing with whatever my presence might trigger in another. I much prefer your way, ‘being in full presence’. That has more integrity and honouring for ourselves and others and this example suggests to me it can also be powerfully healing.

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  • kehinde2012 says: November 1, 2015 at 4:11 pm

    With gender equality the emphasis is often on men, their attitudes and treatment of women. Adele, your gentle reflection of you revealed the subtle and not so subtle ways women buy into gender inequality, in the way they relate to and treat men. Thank you for sharing your growing awareness of you and your commitment to claim your innate power as a woman where-ever you are. When this comes with equal appreciation of men as tender and sensitive beings, the potential to heal humanity is huge.

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    • Nico van Haastrecht says: November 2, 2015 at 1:50 pm

      There is indeed a great potential to heal in humanity when we look at the gender inequality that is so predominantly present in our societies. Imagine when humanity will start to understand that in fact women and men are in essence all equal, how will the world then transform to?

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    • Adele Leung says: November 3, 2015 at 5:44 am

      When we focus on genders, we are already in separation. When we focus on genders and blaming, we are in deep separation. In Love, there is only unity.

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      • Rachel Andras says: December 6, 2015 at 7:13 pm

        Well said Adele, love the simple truth of it. Gender is already the separation and it is important to understand that it is about not looking at what separates us, but at what unites us and that is love and our divine origins. Life is about living in harmony with the diversity offered to us, but never hold any of the separating components of human life for more than our divine origins and the knowing that we are all one.

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      • Bryony says: November 17, 2017 at 6:59 am

        In love there is only unity: so simple and so true.

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    • Adele Leung says: November 6, 2015 at 7:20 am

      I agree Kehinde, emphasizing the blame on any one gender, there is already no equality to begin with, how will we reach equality from a foundation in which it is lacking?

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  • Matilda Bathurst says: November 1, 2015 at 3:52 pm

    This is a brilliant article so clearly bringing to our attention the myriad of ways we play the gender inequality game. What an inspiration to say no to the perpetuation of this and yes to holding my precious-ness alongside the precious-ness of men in all my interactions, big and small.

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    • Alex says: November 2, 2015 at 7:07 am

      That is the way to pull each other up out of the self-created illusion of inequality: to appreciate each other deeply and know oneself and another as equal beyond any differences.

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      • Adele Leung says: November 6, 2015 at 7:16 am

        Yesterday Monica I called a male family relative and he was upset at something when I called and before I finished asking a question on the phone he hung up on me. I called back and said you hung up on me, and he did it again. It was hurtful for these situations to even be happening within humanity, and I allowed myself to feel that hurt and let it go. A while later, he called me back and all the frustration and anger he was in earlier was not there anymore, and he apologised.

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    • Raegan says: November 7, 2015 at 5:52 pm

      Well said Matilda, there really are so many ways in which gender inequality plays out. So often it is over complicated and Adele really has brought so many great points to attention. Definitely inspiring to say yes to holding our preciousness, for us as women and also equally for men.

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    • Monika Korb says: December 14, 2015 at 5:28 am

      This is the challenge, and I am aware that this is a big thing still for me, too. Allowing me to show my preciousness in all my interactions – my challenge for this life, when I look back and notice that I have pretty much lived in reaction to the weakness of my mother – becoming strong and self independent was my goal- I never wanted to be weak and needing help from another and rather keeping control of everything. What a lie that I had allowed to live, but not any longer, thanks to my own commitment to make a change and to live my own truth.

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  • Rachel Murtagh says: November 1, 2015 at 3:44 pm

    “I realised that I was still holding myself back in how I was expressing with males at certain times – there was a reservation on my side.” I can relate to this Adele and am familiar with the feeling. Holding self-worth, appreciation and understanding for myself I can feel subtle shifts occurring my ability to feel equality to men and other women too.

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  • Bernadette Curtin says: November 1, 2015 at 3:43 pm

    Adele I really appreciate your clarity with regard to old and new ways of thinking about the opposite sex. It is amazing how when we change our behaviour to reflect what feels true for us, honouring and respecting who we are, the responses from others reflect that level of confidence back to us. Thank you.

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    • Susie Williams says: November 5, 2015 at 7:26 am

      Absolutely Bernadette. And through honouring, respecting and appreciating who WE are – we can then do the same for others; men, women, children, the elderly, teachers, nurses, cashiers and the list can very well be endless!

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      • Tamara Flanagan says: November 7, 2015 at 10:28 am

        An endless list indeed Susie – all for one and one for all!

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  • Benkt van Haastrecht says: November 1, 2015 at 3:34 pm

    true gender equality is dependant on everyone, it is choosing for ourselves to be love and all that we are. When we choose this there will be a mutual love between everyone. Than we can truly honour all our beautiful qualities.

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    • Rachel Andras says: November 2, 2015 at 2:42 pm

      Beautifully said Benkt, it is that simple. When we choose love we choose equality as love cannot be anything else than the equal expression from our Soul. When we choose love we know that our physical differences in gender, age, nationality, socio-economically, ethnic or racial origins, etc. are just a different expression of the same which one day decided to separate from the whole. With love we know that unity is not altered by diversity, as unity is who we are. Then love becomes the quality we live and diversity is not our main focus anymore, but the true quality of being the love we are.

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      • Amina Tumi says: November 2, 2015 at 7:08 pm

        And it sounds so simple Rachel and I know that the true is it is but what I am discovering is that there is much self-sabotage that can wipe out the access of such beauty.

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      • Zofia says: November 4, 2015 at 7:33 am

        “With love we know that unity is not altered by diversity, as unity is who we are. Then love becomes the quality we live and diversity is not our main focus anymore, but the true quality of being the love we are” – GREAT truth Rachel, as so often we get hung up on ‘diversity’ especially in the workplace, when in fact …. shouldn’t we all be hung up about equalness??? – i.e. the fact that we hold ourselves measured and not equal to another human being, and in comparison, end up with superiority or inferiority complexes that lend itself towards the ‘diversity game’ where tolerance of others is what’s advocated. Being an advocate of equalness is key, because with this all difference dissolves and humanity proceeds towards being restored — no matter the number of nationalities, colours, genders, races. For we are unity. We are brotherhood.

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        • Rachel Andras says: December 6, 2015 at 7:08 pm

          The problem with diversity is that there is an individual attachment to it and a massive identification. That’s why tolerance is preached as it lets the individuality in charge and gives people their identity. Only when we detach from being identified through our origins, nationality, gender, etc can we embrace true equality and live as equal Son’s of God on earth.

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          • Monika Korb says: December 14, 2015 at 5:16 am

            We are getting more and more of those people who are living in this equality offering truth to different nations as living marker for truth. We are setting different standards in the way we treat ourselves and all others in our lives. This to me is true brotherhood and true support, and knowing that we all are equal sons of god – with this power we can build great monuments that can clear the earth – such as the pyramids. We all have inbuilt all that is needed to be aligned with another on a very divine level, knowing of the constellations of the stars and moon phases, the science of the angles and the old wisdom to live in true brotherhood. What about we all commit to this again, the world can be a totally better place to live together in equalness and love with another.

    • Adele Leung says: November 3, 2015 at 5:40 am

      Absolutely so Benkt and Rachel. Gender equality is actually not about men and women, but about love. With equality between human beings, naturally there is equality between genders. How are we loving ourselves?

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    • Annie says: November 3, 2015 at 9:42 pm

      Yes you express this beautifully Benkt. It is true empowerment to take responsibility for bringing this equality to our everyday relationships rather than blaming society as we play an equal part in the whole.

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    • Nicola Lessing says: November 4, 2015 at 4:09 am

      Beautifully said Benkt. Gorgeous to feel the quality in your expression.

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    • Kathleen Baldwin says: November 5, 2015 at 7:56 am

      Hi Benkt, beautifully, simply and powerfully expressed. “true gender equality is dependent on everyone, it is choosing for ourselves to be love and all that we are.” It certainly is.

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    • Esther Andras says: November 6, 2015 at 5:10 am

      And then there is no need for gender equality anymore.

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      • Nicola Lessing says: November 6, 2015 at 9:24 am

        Very true Esther – in fact the term gender equality in itself is ridiculous as there is no such thing. We are all one at essence so how can we be equally one???

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      • Rachel Andras says: November 12, 2015 at 6:14 pm

        Absolutely agree Esther, we strive only for gender equality, because we have chosen separation as our way to live. When we start to live from our divine essence we all know that we are all equal and just different in expression and that it is not about human assimilation, but about divine oneness.

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      • Adele Leung says: November 15, 2015 at 8:21 am

        Esther, Nicola, Rachel it is true, it is absurd to become what we already are—equality is in our breath as breathed forth by the Divine. But as a whole, we have diverted far from the truth, we are learning to breathe true once again, and if we have to learn with each other even from the most basic birthright to live, we will. Mouth closed, gently breathing through the nose, let’s go.

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        • Benkt van Haastrecht says: November 18, 2015 at 3:15 pm

          Gender equality is indeed not the end goal, as that still holds a separation of the sexes. But as we start to feel our own love, we can start to see that it is in everyone. Not just in men or women, but equal in all, all with a different expression helping us to evolve.

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  • Michelle McWaters says: November 1, 2015 at 3:31 pm

    Adele, you make some really fantastic realisations here about your self worth and how this plays out through your actions. What comes through strongly is your dedication and commitment to living the love that you are and to saying goodbye to everything that no longer supports this. In sharing the embrace of more loving ways that confirm you in your awesomeness you are supporting many others to do the same. Thank you.

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  • triciaNicholson says: November 1, 2015 at 3:31 pm

    So true Adele and what a beautiful expression on the gender equality discussion that plays out and the games we all play in it. Starting with ourselves first and how we treat and love ourself is as important as how we see and allow others to treat us. Honouring and living the love we truly are on a daily moment by moment basis in presence and fullness where ever we are is a beautiful and responsible way to bring equality to both men and women in true relationship with each other and all humanity.

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  • Gabriele Conrad says: November 1, 2015 at 3:13 pm

    Your revelations are deeply touching – they basically pull the rug out from underneath any blame and irresponsibility. I especially love when you write, “Responding to the preciousness I feel within me stops the need to be rewarded by something outside of myself. How a man chooses to act does not determine how precious I am.” Thank you so very much, one awesome and very honest and truthful expression.

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    • Marika says: November 2, 2015 at 11:55 am

      Yes I agree Gabriele…when we realise it is our relationship with gender equality that sets the stage we then know that the power lies within ourselves to claim back that equality that we have given away or not!

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      • Monika Korb says: December 14, 2015 at 5:05 am

        When we realise that we have given away ourselves, we have the opportunity to rebuild the relationship with ourselves. This opens the door to our home that is inside of ourselves. Our power lays in the relationship with ourselves and the self worth we hold. It needs a lot of appreciation and honouring for self and for where we have come to and where we are at now. This confirmation is needed before we can evolve any further.

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    • Joel says: November 5, 2015 at 11:34 pm

      So true…how others act is not a true reflection on how precious we are, in fact there are times their reaction confirm the preciousness

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      • Adele Leung says: November 15, 2015 at 8:11 am

        And that Joel is a precious learning for the world to hear, a learning which begins with knowing our true self worth.

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    • Merrilee Pettinato says: November 6, 2015 at 7:44 am

      Gabriele and Adele that’s the key in knowing I am not at the mercy of external approval ” How a man chooses to act does not determine how precious I am” is an awareness we gain only when we know the preciousness within.

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    • Tamara Flanagan says: November 7, 2015 at 10:21 am

      Beautifully said Gabriele and I totally agree – Adele’s expression is awesome, very honest and truthful.

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  • Victoria Picone says: November 1, 2015 at 3:09 pm

    Gender equality does start with us, thank you for sharing your deeper considerations Adele. I will be reflecting on these more deeply myself. One can ‘believe’ gender equality is a given, but as you explore are we living in a way the honours that equal-ness with ourselves and others

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    • Zofia says: November 4, 2015 at 7:38 am

      Agree Victoria, the issue is more, and all about equalness. For equalness arises and restores naturally the natural balance and order ‘of both’ to ‘one’. We are one.

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      • Merrilee Pettinato says: November 6, 2015 at 7:36 am

        Zofia yes it is all about equalness and the natural balance. That has been unclear for me in life and have always oscillated with feeling myself or lesser than. Now I feel in my body the acceptance of myself and the balance I bring as a female, and in relating to men I feel my responsibility as the sacred women I am to not waver.

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  • Ingrid Ward says: November 1, 2015 at 2:58 pm

    To allow ourselves to be all that we are, with no holding back of the amazing beings we are, is a vital stepping stone to a foundation of equalness between us all. As you write so eloquently Adele: “I’m coming back to a deep knowing that men are made of the absolute same essence and sensitivity as women are, and that there is no difference in our ability to feel”. To honour these qualities in each other is to also add another essential building block to this foundation of unification that is desperately needed in the world.

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  • Jennifer Smith says: November 1, 2015 at 2:54 pm

    Adele this is a great blog deeply considering how we as woman can bring that sense of equalness to our own lives first, in that we are never any less than anyone else regardless of who they are and the responsibility we also hold to be that for ourselves.

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  • Susan Wilson says: November 1, 2015 at 2:34 pm

    Adele, a beautiful expose of gender beliefs that are not true. The only truth is that we are all equally of the same essence and so have available to us the qualities of love, harmony, stillness, joy and truth to express with, thank you.

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    • Monika Korb says: December 14, 2015 at 4:43 am

      That’s it, spot on and wise words. In my next life I will not give away this connection with my truth and the love that I am. No way I give this what I have found back, away again.

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  • jenny mcgee says: November 1, 2015 at 1:58 pm

    Thank you Adele, for leading the way to having a much deeper conversation about gender equality. I can feel how when I hold back from living and expressing the essence of the woman that I truly am, I do not expect the men in my life to do so either. It is almost like I give permission to myself and others not to step up.

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    • Jade Jamieson says: November 2, 2015 at 8:08 am

      I so agree Jenny and see this play out in my own life. When we choose not to see ourselves in our fullness we absolutely play less, not seeing that we are all equals. It feels timely we all begin to step into all of who we are.

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      • Amina Tumi says: November 3, 2015 at 4:39 pm

        Timing indeed Jade as holding back really does not feel great in the body and seeing the impact that this has on those around is enormous when we stop and really feel the impact we have, so a joyful time also stepping into our natural way of living.

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    • Christoph Schnelle says: November 3, 2015 at 6:20 pm

      One of the best things I have experienced is when a woman claims herself – in full. Everything is so much clearer and simpler. It is just wonderful.

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      • Adele Leung says: November 6, 2015 at 7:07 am

        That is absolutely one of the best things for a woman too, a strength is felt within that allows the world to be themselves. For a woman iving this strength, the joy felt and lived with everyone simply cannot be denied. We are all a step closer to the unity that our bodies know. Thank you Christoph for sharing how it feels from a man’s point of view.

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      • Laura Hoy says: November 24, 2015 at 4:50 pm

        When we are not ourselves, it is so confusing for everyone, you can see how men and women get in such a pickle with each other with all the mis communications going on.
        Men are not from Mars and Women are not from Venus, we are from the same source, we just keep acting like we’re on different planets.

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        • Monika Korb says: December 14, 2015 at 4:38 am

          That is the set up – that we think we are different then men. This separation we give power to as soon as we allow to treat ourselves lesser or different and comparing ourselves with another, the jealousy does its poisoning. Key is to not judge another and to hold us equally in love and understanding for each other.

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    • Meg Nicholson says: November 4, 2015 at 4:34 pm

      This is a great point – it’s interesting how the way we are and the way we behave towards others sets the standard of what we expect or what is ok from another person. We all have such a big responsibility.

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  • Leonne Sharkey says: November 1, 2015 at 1:44 pm

    “How a man chooses to act does not determine how precious I am.” How true this sentence is. Sure it is lovely to be treated with the tenderness we all deserve (a tenderness that men have at their very core) however, if I man chooses not to express their tenderness this does not make me less in any way. When a man does treat me as the precious being I am it is truly beautiful, yet this does not leave me feeling more, it is simply a confirmation of the beauty within us all.

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    • Annie says: November 3, 2015 at 9:37 pm

      This sentence stood out for me too Leonne. There is something about feeling our preciousness as women that is so beautiful and it negates the need for recognition from a man.

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    • Nicola Lessing says: November 4, 2015 at 4:03 am

      What you say is very true Leonne and applies to all of us. I am precious and tender regardless of how I treat myself, how another woman treats me and how a man treats me. Why do we get so hung up in particular about men when so very often the one who is not respecting us is ourselves!?

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      • Sally Scott says: November 4, 2015 at 8:52 pm

        Very true Nicola, if we focused on treating ourselves with the tenderness, grace and love we all are regardless of anyone or anything else then we would all be relating very differently to each other anyway.

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      • Adele Leung says: November 5, 2015 at 5:42 am

        As if Nicola that blaming between the sexes is already so ingrained within us—that equality is not in our foundation to begin with. If we did not hold ourselves first in true love, we would not know that in our bodies to do so with another. But when love is what we hold ourselves with, any situation less than love would be intensely felt and expressed as truth and not blame.

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      • Kathleen Baldwin says: November 5, 2015 at 7:56 am

        Hi Nicola, what you are saying is very true as everything starts with the relationship we are having with our self. Treating our selves as precious and tender is a great starting place

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      • Rachel Andras says: November 6, 2015 at 5:00 am

        Great point Nicola, the not respecting is first of all done to ourselves, only then is there a fertile ground for others to not respect us.

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      • Shevon Simon says: November 7, 2015 at 5:42 am

        This is very true Nicola – I find that the more that I value, respect and appreciate myself and am gentler in my approach to life, my relationships and interactions with men really do change. They are much more open, engaging, intimate, loving and less defensive.

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      • Deanne Voysey says: November 12, 2015 at 4:48 pm

        So true Nicola, we get our backs up far more over feeling mistreated by another than we do when we have mistreated ourselves. Sometimes we even get upset by another’s mistreatment of us but have actually contributed to it or do not take the opportunity when it presents to talk about it so that it may not occur again.

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        • Adele Leung says: November 15, 2015 at 8:07 am

          In honesty Dean, any reaction expressed to another comes from a reaction first felt with oneself that was not dealt with.

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      • Ester says: November 20, 2015 at 5:43 pm

        Wow Nicola that is so true what you share here – I wonder why we did not learn about this important fact in our families?

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      • Monika Korb says: December 14, 2015 at 4:34 am

        Oh yes I do know this lesson, I used to blame men for not respecting me. I always wanted respect from a men instead respecting myself first. The need to be confirmed from outside has lessened my confidence and self worth. But this set up no longer works because I am holding myself in a very loving way and would not allow any disregard any longer. Truth and love belonging together and I cannot imagine a lesser way of life.

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    • Tamara Flanagan says: November 7, 2015 at 10:12 am

      Great point Monica – I can totally relate to still getting sucked into holding back and waiting to be confirmed by another instead of confidently living the love that I am.

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    • Simone Gibson says: November 8, 2015 at 1:08 am

      I can also relate to this Monica. My body is always there to remind me if I have gone into protection when I am in the company of a man- whether I become less open, more excitable, start expressing in a different way than I would with women. This article reminds me that there are many more joyful steps to take towards living equality with men, and it starts with trusting, loving and appreciating me.

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    • Bernard Cincotta says: November 8, 2015 at 8:24 am

      “How a man chooses to act does not determine how precious I am.” this stand out line from Adele’s blog has been deepened and strengthened here by Leonne and others, thank you all from the depth of my heart, these conversations will bring much needed harmony to gender relationships.

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    • Adele Leung says: November 22, 2015 at 9:17 am

      Leonne, treating each other with the deep preciousness and tenderness that we all are, is Normal.

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    • Monika Korb says: December 14, 2015 at 4:28 am

      Spot on Monica, we cannot wait for others to confirm us who we are. We have to do our homework and holding ourselves in self worth and being in our livingness as good as possible. This to me is true and makes sense – giving back the responsibility – to be the love you are.

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  • Nico van Haastrecht says: November 1, 2015 at 1:11 pm

    Beautiful said Adele. In fact deep inside we all know that this is the way we want to live – in connection with the love of our soul – and express this connection to the best of our ability in all that we are and do. And in this there is no difference in men and women, there is only a physical difference we have to appreciate but on the inside we come from the same place where there is not gender but only equal soul.

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    • alexis stewart says: November 2, 2015 at 9:48 am

      Nico well said. Whilst reading ‘ but on the inside we come from the same place where there is not gender but only equal soul’ I felt a deep pinch of pain at the thought of the millions of men that have been conditioned to hold themselves in such tension and hardness believing that these are the qualities of being a man.

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      • Adele Leung says: November 5, 2015 at 5:33 am

        Alexis, one day while walking along the subway here in Hong Kong, I saw big wall sized bill boards, a few of them advertising a new blockbuster coming out. In the picture there was a man as the main character who was supposed to be tough, manly, sleek, well-dressed, supported by a woman who is flawless and perfect in her appearance. I looked at this personification of this model of a man dressed in expensive black tie attire, some would say looking handsome and successful, but he felt so exhausted in his hardness. The woman had outward beauty, but her role is always a step behind the man, only in support but never equal. My heart cried—wall to wall bill boards reinforcing these to be successful stereotypes of men and women.

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        • Rachel Mascord says: November 14, 2015 at 4:26 am

          We ache to be seen for who we are – yet we are sold cool looking suits, shiny hair and flawless complexions that don’t actually exist.
          One day though Adele we will stop buying, when we get tired enough of propping up the myth.

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          • Adele Leung says: November 22, 2015 at 9:15 am

            Rachel, perfection is a consciousness that will only keep us in comfort until our bodies force us to wake up from this harm.

        • Patricia Darwish says: November 14, 2015 at 7:20 am

          “As a woman I had accepted that in male/female relationships I had to give more”. Although this was not explicitly said to me, my upbringing and my subsequent marriage to someone from the Middle East confirmed it. For most of my life I conformed to the various expectations that being a woman entailed. Being a ‘good wife and mother’ was my birth duty, I was an adjunct to someone’s else life. Finding Universal Medicine so late in life is a true blessing leading me back to the woman I am meant to be.

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          • Monika Korb says: December 14, 2015 at 4:20 am

            It is never too late to come back home, our home inside ourselves. Ironically we have never lost it, because this home is always there – we have just followed many delays and detours on the way back. But finally everyone will find this sacred place within, in their own time. It feels so much easier this way to let everyone come to their truth in their own time, and my responsibility is to not judge others but to live a life of true reflection.

      • Bernadette Glass says: November 8, 2015 at 9:55 am

        I could so feel that too Alexis. We have been set up in such a sophisticated way and play a game that our bodies tell us in not true!

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    • Francisco Clara says: November 3, 2015 at 10:28 am

      I agree Nico, is honouring our individual expressions regardless of gender.

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    • Donna Gianniotis says: November 3, 2015 at 4:09 pm

      Absolutely Nico and what this reveals is that we are all equally the sons of God.

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    • Arianne Kasi says: November 4, 2015 at 9:16 pm

      Well said Nico. Where did we decide along the line to not know we have a Soul? Where are we as a society when we do not even consider what is driving our bodies? We have just accepted this ‘form’ of living. Additionally it is absurd what the education system does not teach us. We do not learn about spirit or Soul, we do not learn about the importance of self-love, of equality, of working together, and in how to ‘be’ in life, and not get caught up in an outer identity. There is such a struggle to go against all of this now – to be in a world of doing…however we have all created what is ‘out there’. It is almost like we now can’t/don’t want to see it all, so we just stay insula. At some point though we will need to expose it all, to sweep it all clean. Maybe we can then learn the true meaning of life on a global scale? And re-write certain systems.

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      • Emily Newman says: November 25, 2015 at 4:20 pm

        “Maybe we can then learn the true meaning of life on a global scale? And re-write certain systems.” Sounds like a plan to me Arianne !

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    • Adele Leung says: November 6, 2015 at 6:53 am

      I love that Nico—Equal Soul, absolutely so.

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    • Kelly Zarb says: November 7, 2015 at 7:31 am

      Gorgeous Nico. Yes absolutely one soul and expressed with our own unique flavour with equal amounts of awesome.

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    • Jonathan Stewart says: November 21, 2015 at 8:07 am

      Gorgeously expressed Nico. Yes we are all equal soul.

      Reply
  • Suzanne Anderssen says: November 1, 2015 at 1:05 pm

    Gender equality to me is all about knowing deeply that a man and a woman are from the same source and therefore any differences that there are (and there are a lot!) are because of the human body differences. The essence of a man and a woman are the same, they simply have differing ways of expressing themselves, differing capabilities, as do the capabilities between men also differ. I don’t know how it ever got to some (read billions in fact) believing men are ‘better than’ women, but it’s definitely time this belief was de-bunked. Thank you Adele for living gender equality in a location where historically it hasn’t been the case.

    Reply
    • Aimee Edmonds says: November 3, 2015 at 1:37 am

      Such a powerful and true statement Suzanne, “The essence of a man and a woman are the same, they simply have differing ways of expressing themselves, differing capabilities, as do the capabilities between men also differ.” Reading Adele’s blog I can see where I have this false notion in certain situations with men of being better than, knowing more and able to see what is truly going on… awful to feel but a great healing opportunity. The ‘better than’ game between the sexes is often encouraged from when we are young, and it is an enormous pressure on our innate knowing that we are one and the same. I remember being friends with a boy around 5, that was so gorgeous, warm and playful, and there was never any difference (other than how we physically looked) in how we expressed our love to each other. It is sad, how this often changes as stereotypes seep in and taint our view of one another. But we can change this at any time we choose.

      Reply
      • Fiona Lotherington says: November 5, 2015 at 6:29 am

        Thank you for nominating this better than game Aimee. I have often observed in myself and other women, a subtle arrogance that we have it together more than men. I see this most often in intimate relationships. Little ‘digs’ about partners may seem like an innocent joke, but they carry this arrogant, ‘I know better’ energy.

        Reply
        • Toni Steenson says: November 7, 2015 at 8:47 pm

          Fiona if I am really honest I too have experienced this “better than arrogance”, yet when I feel deeper into it I feel it is based on a belief that women are less than men.

          Reply
          • Lisa Hansberry says: November 13, 2015 at 6:43 am

            Great expose Toni, a belief that has been fostered for centuries and is still very much carried on in our society. Awesome to be breaking it down here.

          • adele leung says: November 13, 2015 at 2:46 pm

            Yes we have been hurt, even hurt badly. But we are not going to express from this hurt anymore. It may take some time to get used to feeling the hurt we have put ourselves through from previously not expressing, everytime we now express in love and inequality, but we take the responsibility to live again who we truly are as women. Thank you men, for without the support from you we can hang onto being a fake version of ourselves for much longer. For what we all yearn the deepest as human beings is to return to the relationship with Soul, a coming together in harmony of both our maleness and femaleness.

          • Jonathan Stewart says: November 17, 2015 at 10:51 pm

            Well said Adele. It takes both genders to support each other to honour the truth and essence of each equally and express that lovingly.

          • Eleanor Cooper says: December 13, 2015 at 8:23 pm

            I can completely relate to this. Thinking about it now, the way we talked about men in my family was so disrespectful and belittling of them, as if they were the lesser species. Now I can see how damaging that kind of mindset can be, and how it brought about more division between the sexes. Now I know that we are a one glorious people, equal in our hearts and what we have to bring to the world.

          • Angela Perin says: February 25, 2016 at 6:49 pm

            I count myself in here as well Toni – for a long time having a ‘better than’ attitude towards men (particularly when I was in intimate relationships). Thank goodness to have exposed that one and to realise this came from a lack of self worth and as I’ve worked on that, to feel the arrogance being replaced by appreciation, understanding and acceptance.

        • Lisa Hansberry says: November 13, 2015 at 6:45 am

          Men know this game too.

          Reply
        • Nicole Sjardin says: December 8, 2015 at 12:11 am

          This is something that I have noticed recently and I find it quite uncomfortable to watch, it is almost as if some women take pride in publicly dressing down their husbands. Yet in truth if we saw ourselves as equal and had expressed how we felt along the way the communication would not look like this.

          Reply
          • Lieke van Haastrecht says: December 10, 2015 at 2:52 pm

            Yes well said Nicole if we make it about love and thus equality first there would not be any of this.

      • adele leung says: November 13, 2015 at 2:39 pm

        That’s true Aimee, why are we not expressing to everyone with the openness and warmth like when we were young children? Do we grow up to be less natural? I have since recently started doing that with more people, even in situations where it felt difficult and so true that there was only honesty and no holding back in expressing, you would always feel the other person, and even when there is disagreement we naturally come back to harmony very soon, and play again.
        The awesome reflection of this is how much and for how long I have withheld this natural love in expression with people, and how much it is what I long to be, and the awareness and commitment to this responsibility is a gift.

        Reply
        • Susan Lee says: November 13, 2015 at 4:15 pm

          So beautifully expressed Adele – and also very confirming. Like you I have withheld ‘this natural love in expression with people, and how much it is what I long to be, and the awareness and commitment to this responsibility is a gift’. It is such a joy-full expression of the love we share for humanity and to feel this joy is us truly coming home to our innate expression and to know that we are all one with God in this blessing.

          Reply
        • Susan Lee says: December 10, 2015 at 5:07 pm

          It is astounding Mary how we have become so locked into guarding ourselves and not sharing our natural expression. It’s totally ridiculous when we daily have the opportunity to share a smile or a few words with a stranger in the street and how different we feel afterwards. We feel more alive and more connected and yet at other times we can stubbornly hold onto our guard and miss these amazing moments to be connected to the world and the Universe. ‘When we express love naturally with other people around us they feel it and they become more open’ – this too is my experience and consequently that of others as we are innately all the same in our essence.

          Reply
    • Shevon Simon says: November 3, 2015 at 4:23 am

      Such words of wisdom Suzanne – you say it exactly as it is with – ‘Gender equality to me is all about knowing deeply that a man and a woman are from the same source and therefore any differences that there are (and there are a lot!) are because of the human body differences … ‘

      This really puts EVERYTHING IN PERSPECTIVE. The same gem applies to skin colour, race, nationality, religion and any other ways that we appear to be different.

      Reply
      • Adele Leung says: November 6, 2015 at 6:50 am

        Equality is only true if when is true in all circumstances., well put Shevon. We still have a long way to go, but it is only comfort that prevents us from starting right now with ourselves in taking responsibiity for it, it is also comfort that will numb us from feeling the harm that any inequality lived and accepted will be a consequence we have to account for in our bodies.

        Reply
      • Toni Steenson says: November 7, 2015 at 8:50 pm

        Spot on Shevon. The only reason we feel there is a difference and hierarchy in these areas is because of false ideals and beliefs we have been brought up with. These beliefs and ideals are so normal in society that we unwittingly automatically accept them as truth.

        Reply
        • nb says: December 2, 2015 at 9:22 pm

          Interestingly enough…when we call them out as not being equal there is often a look of disbelief or an ill ease as to why we would question this.

          Reply
      • Susan Lee says: December 10, 2015 at 5:20 pm

        It certainly does put everything into perspective Shevon. The trouble is that we have been so short sighted for so long that we can no longer see the wood for the trees – that is until a stop moment forces us to look at these issues. When we are willing to see the world with new eyes we can see that all the confusion was merely a smoke screen to make us feel different from one another and not embrace our divine essence. True equality is about letting go of the self and allowing others to be and not giving up on ourselves as a one humanity, that which we truly are.

        Reply
    • Natalie Misztal says: November 4, 2015 at 4:40 am

      I absolutely agree Suzanne we all come from the same source, just have different expressions.

      Reply
    • Adele Leung says: November 4, 2015 at 8:38 am

      Suzanne, it feels seemingly more difficult for equality between men and women to be expressed in certain parts of the world and cultures, but the truth is all men and women are equal. And if this truth can be expressed in the parts of the world where it is still unknown and unheard of because of our resistance to truth, then it is all the more necessary for truth to be expressed here, as every act of equality expressed is building on the equality to be expressed in the whole world.

      Reply
      • Rachel Andras says: November 6, 2015 at 4:55 am

        Great point Adele, the gender equality expressed (in some parts of the world more in others less) is not true and therefore there may not be necessarily an advantage of the supposed equality we gained in most Western countries as it may keep us away from feeling that we are really not getting it. We may be hazed by the illusion of being equal when in truth we are just assimilating to male energy and motion and not living our true expression as women and men in their very own quality.

        Reply
        • Bernadette Glass says: November 8, 2015 at 9:53 am

          Beautifully expressed Rachel. Until we know the truth of equality in our bodies, no amount of gender equality propaganda will make the slightest difference – it will just be buried more deeply in our bodies. I see the gender inequality game play our in feminist organisations! It is extraordinary how feminist groups end up in power battles in the name of equality.

          Reply
          • Rachel Andras says: November 12, 2015 at 6:06 pm

            Agree Bernadette there is so much struggle going on in the fight for equality and this struggle is rooted in everybody acting out of a hurt and therefore from self and in absolute motion. Most are trying to change the eggs without realizing that the basket was wrong in the first place and everything that is put into this basket is not true. Feminism is lived from the mind and has no connection to the body, in most cases it is even strongly disregarding the body and therefore our divine expression.

        • Fumiyo Egashira says: November 9, 2015 at 3:42 pm

          ‘We may be hazed by the illusion of being equal when in truth we are just assimilating to male energy and motion and not living our true expression as women and men in their very own quality’ – this is a show-stopper. Superbly expressed, Rachel.

          Reply
          • Rachel Andras says: November 12, 2015 at 6:10 pm

            Comfort is the biggest illusion of all and its only goal is to distract us from seeing truth. It is of mayor importance that we gained rights, but we have to be careful to not be blinded by the temporal good if it is not a step to truth. Temporal achievements can be the illusion that keep us from claiming our divine origins.

        • Sandra Henden says: November 13, 2015 at 6:03 am

          This is beautiful Rachel … “We may be hazed by the illusion of being equal when in truth we are just assimilating to male energy and motion and not living our true expression as women and men in their very own quality”… and so true. The way men and women are living is not of our true quality, and it was only through the teachings of Universal Medicine that I became aware of the true quality of men and women. It is only through observing Natalie Benhayon moving in her true quality as a woman, and Serge, Michael and Curtis Benhayon as true men that I appreciate what it feels like to be connected to our true essence, anything less is a reduction of ourselves.

          Reply
          • Lorraine Wellman says: November 14, 2015 at 4:18 pm

            I agree it is only by observing and feeling such true role models as in the Benhayon family that I now am starting to fully understand what it is to be a true woman and a true man. As you say Sandra, ‘ I appreciate what it feels like to be connected to our true essence, anything less is a reduction of ourselves.’

          • Leigh Matson says: November 17, 2015 at 5:24 pm

            The expression on the outside may be different but they are, we are, equal in essence. For me that the moment this looks like that no matter when I hug someone if we are coming from our essence there is a warmth that is equal. Even just writing this I felt to pause and ask – if this essence is equally felt regardless of gender..then am I living in that essence as a woman or preforming behaviours and movements that appear male to achieve a sense of equalness?

          • Adele Leung says: November 19, 2015 at 7:14 am

            Leigh what I have observed throughout my life and as my work is in fashion, is that there is an oscillation of how I present myself in qualities of female as well as male. It feels true that our true essence we are both, and life is simply for us to come back to harmony with our femaleness and maleness in energy until we are One.

        • Adele Leung says: November 22, 2015 at 9:04 am

          When felt, we cannot be fooled. Equality is not an appearance we put on, it is in our every breath. Equality is the choice to breathe the quality of harmony of both the male and female as One in the Soul.

          Reply
        • Rachel Andras says: December 6, 2015 at 6:11 pm

          Great point Monica, we have a distorted vision of what equalness is as we have put value to a certain male expression and take this as the norm were everybody has to align too. That is not equality. Because of this reductionism we experience the massive violence against women and belief it is men’s behavior and disrespect towards women and a general societal stand of holding women less. But we have to look at the bigger picture and understand what we are truly doing here. We are capping our absoluteness of divine expression by reducing ourselves to the lesser expression of male and female and in this game putting the male expression higher than the female and starting a struggle about getting them equal. This keeps us busy trying to get something right that has been wrong from the word go. If we live by the knowing that we are equal Son’s of God we will understand that gender inequality is a man made struggle to distract us from living our truth.

          Reply
      • Deanne Voysey says: November 8, 2015 at 8:25 am

        Adele, this is such an expansive comment about where we express truth as well as how needed it is to express the truth wherever we are. When the truth is expressed on one side of the world it frees up the possibility of it also being heard in other places as well. I was also this morning reading about how much bullying can go on between staff in our hospitals and how difficult the politics can be when someone comes forward to speak truth and I could feel a sense of wanting to avoid such a situation but when I put it in the context of your comment here “… if this truth can be expressed in the parts of the world where it is still unknown and unheard of because of our resistance to truth, then it is all the more necessary for truth to be expressed here” then it was easier to take a step back and consider hospitals are places for people to heal – so perhaps this is a place for truth to be heard and not avoided.

        Reply
        • Shevon Simon says: November 12, 2015 at 4:51 am

          It’s become so easy to avoid speaking Truth, but the fact is that it is not so easy as the increasing toll of illness, disease and relationship problems ravaging our bodies, our homes, works places and relationships in general is telling us. Yes we may want to shirk away (and I have felt this many times and still do) but increasingly there is more awareness of what you say here Deanne in that:

          ” … When the truth is expressed on one side of the world it frees up the possibility of it also being heard in other places as well …”

          And that gets me to move off my bottom and do what needs to be done – knowing that if I don’t step up to the equality that is needed in every situation, I am shutting off that opportunity for others. Our lives are not just about us and there is much that we allow others to experience just by the way that we live. This I find is something to take serious note of.

          Reply
        • Adele Leung says: November 23, 2015 at 8:19 am

          There is only one truth, one world, one love–we all are the ones, there is but the One.

          Reply
        • Hannah Morden says: November 24, 2015 at 6:58 am

          Deanne – what I can feel is so needed in hospitals is a call for everyone in them to be responsible. The staff in terms of their choices and how they choose to live to support those who are sick, and the patients in terms of the choices they have to support themselves to heal and look beyond the ailment but also what was the cause of the ailment.
          If we are honest about our choices, this can be a huge step forward in allowing us to be more open and aware of the fact that our bodies are communicating with us all of the time.

          Reply
      • adele leung says: November 13, 2015 at 2:49 pm

        When there is no honesty there cannot be truth, our resistance before it is to truth is actually to love, our own love.

        Reply
      • Loretta Rappos says: November 19, 2015 at 9:19 am

        Some important points you raise Adele – In essence both men and women are equal.
        And “if this truth can be expressed in the parts of the world where it is still unknown and unheard of because of our resistance to truth, then it is all the more necessary for truth to be expressed here.”
        We are then a point of reflection and truth, so that others may become inspired to do so also.

        Reply
    • Sally Scott says: November 4, 2015 at 8:49 pm

      Superb Suzanne.

      Reply
    • Joshua Campbell says: November 8, 2015 at 4:07 am

      This puts the need to be equals in what we do or say out the window and brings in the understanding that we are equal in our holding, connection and expression first which to me feels much much deeper than simply saying we are equal in our rights, what we do and what we can say because even then we can still hold another as being less than you simply by not meeting them in their essence first.

      Reply
    • Rachel Mascord says: November 14, 2015 at 4:22 am

      We have made a great error in the wild oscillations from men ‘better’ to and attempt to make women ‘better’, trampling the truth of our equalness. Gender supremacy serves no one. It makes a joke of our beautiful vulnerabilities and turns our strengths into weapons we hold over those “others”.
      True equality embraces both – it takes in the differences but also observes and acknowledges the sameness of essence that is our source.

      Reply
      • Adele Leung says: November 22, 2015 at 9:11 am

        To truly know and embrace both men and women, as women we take the responsibility to express all that we are as women, and allow men the spaciousness to come to their own conclusion and expression.

        Reply
    • Monika Korb says: December 14, 2015 at 3:59 am

      Very wise words Adele and so needed, too. This is absolutely amazing to feel the freedom experienced in not holding back our preciousness and delicateness from being a women, what is in the same time the true essence and power we are. Allowing ourselves to live like this and holding us in tenderness and true understanding for ourselves and for men the same is offering the space for true connections. This should be taught at the workplaces and in schools the same, as a offer for true communications within men and women.

      Reply
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