From the moment a baby boy is born he is only after one thing. Maybe his parents will cradle him in their arms and hold him to their chests, appreciating his delicateness and warmth. Maybe he will be safe and loved, honoured in his perfect imperfection, or perhaps he will be left to cry alone, born addicted to drugs or into a million other less than desirable scenarios: it won’t change what he is after though, because he’s only after one thing.
Within days he might be given his first football jersey, if not it’s almost certain that he will be dressed in blue. If he’s lucky it might be a year or two before someone tells him to ‘man up’ and stop crying. He will learn to wipe away his tears and soon enough he will learn to hold it all inside. He will do what he needs to do because he’s only after one thing.
He might hold on to his sensitivity for a while. You will see it when he caresses a newborn baby’s face, tenderly tucks his teddy bear in or cries when his favourite cartoon character faces a tough moment. If he does manage to hold onto his sensitivity it won’t be long before he starts being asked to change. He will hear the words ‘mummy’s boy,’ ‘baby,’ ‘soft’ and ‘sensitive,’ and because he is so sensitive he will know that none of these words is a compliment. He will look to the men in his life to find out how to be in this world because he only wants one thing.
When he goes to school he will learn to play the class clown, the good student, the sportsman or the troublemaker. When he shows his sensitive side he might hear new words; words like ‘gay,’ ‘sissy,’ ‘pussy,’ ‘wuss.’ He won’t even need his sensitivity to know that these words mean trouble this time. If he’s smart he will start calling other boys these names – the openly sensitive ones may even find their faces in contact with his fists. Either way, he will find a way through because he’s only after one thing.
Puberty arrives. His voice breaks, it is time to “be a man.” Girls are interesting again for a whole new host of reasons. Pornography is old news as it is more than likely that he has seen it all before. If he feels attracted to women he may find the world of sex and stimulation exciting and if he has already sensed that ‘gay’ is not a slur but a label for his natural way of expressing in relationship he may struggle to come to terms with it all. Either way he is only after one thing.
He or his partner might struggle with body image. He may look to sports’ stars or celebrities to inform him of his worth and standing. Life is a competition that he is subconsciously choosing to win or lose. He will stoically face the stresses of everyday life, arguments, jobs, money, family. If he cracks he will try to keep it on the down low. If things get really bad he will end it all rather than open up and talk about it. The world has already made it clear that his natural sensitivity is something to be ashamed of and after all, he’s only after one thing.
The more I get to know men and boys, the more I see how deeply tender and sensitive they are. I have spent much of my life despairing over the fact that men seemed to be “after only one thing”… until I began to realise that men are after the same thing that every woman is after.
I now have men in my life that have reconnected to their divine essence. These men respect their natural sensitivity; they cry when they feel sad and they express how they feel. They have shown me what a true man is.
The presence of these men in my life has been deeply healing and eye opening to say the least. As the realisation of the true sensitivity of men comes to light, the horror of the competition, war, greed and violence that is very much a part of our false construction of modern masculinity is exposed for the lie that it is. It is time we started to appreciate the true power of men who can express their great love and sensitivity because in truth, we all want only one thing.
To live truly free to express the love that we are.
By Leonne Sharkey, Melbourne
Sensitive – We All Are It
A letter to my Son
It is like we are all in a vice and are squeezed to not feel our essences so by the time we are able to Truly discern what life is all about the Truth of our sensitivity has been slashed, squashed, squandered and poked into a corner of what we have been set up to believe is normal. And when we meet an openly delicate being our hearts reach out to also reconnect to that level of sensitivity.
It is a sorry state of humanity when a man does not feel free to live and express with the natural sensitivity that he is. It is a blessing for all that there is a growing number of men who are reclaiming their true essence of sensitivity and tenderness.
Ever since the so called garden-of-eden, we all have been corrupted with a multitude of layers, that take us away from feeling our sensitivity, and thus being open and transparent with each other.
When we project onto men or anyone for that matter who we think they are they are left condemned in our judgment of them, far better to stay open and to be open to all that one can read.
Its really only when we honour that tenderness in ourselves that we can see it truly in others.
Men are equally sensitive, ‘The more I get to know men and boys, the more I see how deeply tender and sensitive they are. I have spent much of my life despairing over the fact that men seemed to be “after only one thing”… until I began to realise that men are after the same thing that every woman is after.’
We are all after the one thing, ‘Brotherhood’ and this is not about our mates but working together as one family that shares a deepening transparency in all we do.
Yes Greg, ‘Brotherhood’ and I would add Love to the package.
When we openly express and move in a way that is about our essences then we are deepening our love as we continue to evolve and simply reflect the deeper levels of our loving essence to others.
Unless a man truly honours his natural tenderness and sensitivity then the man will be only after one thing however it is a responsibility as a parent to raise our boys knowing who they are and to do this we must live our sensitivity, tenderness and openess first to offer a reflection of what it means to live the love that we are.
“Men are only after one thing” – yes, and the same for women too where the one thing – is true intimacy and being held for who they truly and so sensitively are.
It is true the every man and every woman is after one thing however it is important to realise that in truth everyone has a spirit and that spirit does not truly want to live or receive the love the human is seeking. If it did it would not be a spirit! This is important because without this basic understanding nothing in this world will truly change.
Thank you Leonne, the beauty of who we all are, equally. How can we not be equal?
Men are beautiful.
Absolutely Leonne, it is time to start appreciating the true power of men.
With this said, I am in awe of what is being presented here now and by Serge Benhayon through the teachings of Universal Medicine. For these teachings show us that we are everything; super sensitive, loving beings that have invested in spending a life lived from an energy that we are not.
Yes, beautifully expressed Ariana, we are all after one thing, love and it is in each and every one of us, all we have to do is connect to it and share it with everyone.
Men are deeply sensitive, tender and loving and if we do not get to see this then it simply means it has been hidden for whatever reason. Naturally, we are all deeply loving and all we have to do is let it out and share this with the world.
Accepting and inviting ones true expression holds the greatest form of love for another where there is no gender at play!
If there is a reason to inspire me to honour my sensitivity and tenderness, that is to expose the hardness and bullying from men .. this will be my motto for work tomorrow and all else I will be (from now on).
A beautiful sharing Leonne, about the true nature of men, that like all women men are naturally tender and sensitive if only this is honoured and allowed to be nurtured as they are growing up, what a very different world we would live in.
Sensitivity is equally within us all, we all feel it, but it is not valued and this makes for a very dysfunctional world. To not honour our sensitivity we need to build up a hardness and in building up a hardness we express in the polar opposite way to our natural essence which creates a cycle of denial. The fear of standing out and being targeted simply feeds that cycle of denial. Thank you for laying it out so simply Leonne.
Men may be after a thing or two but they are running away from acknowledging their sensitivity and how powerful they are in that sensitivity.
Thank you Leonne for this unraveling of a societal structure that we have so falsely built that men need to be rough and tough and strong and invincible, all the while they have always been as tender and sensitive as they have been as little boys.
It is so true that underneath all the facade, the ideal, beliefs and lies of what is deemed as masculinity and what is the be a man, is everything that a real man already is in all his tenderness, love and wisdom. And yes we all do want to freely live and express who we are in essence, both men and women alike. You have highlighted so poignantly just how much responsibility we all hold in allowing and supporting each other to be who we are in essence.
Thank you Leonne, exposing the lies us men have been living is sorely needed, as I look back it took a lot to entomb my sensitivity.
Yes Greg amd the exposing fact that we all have let it come that way. We deserve so much more and truly better: lets start by becoming more sensitive to with how we truly feel and express this with each other and truly listen to each other.
Yes the picture of men being naturally tough and rough could not be further from the truth of men.
Beautiful Leonne, thankyou so much writing such amazing words that are clear and simple to understand. Your contribution to the world of men is a golden drop of sunshine in a sea of murky waters.
It is totally mad how we are not supported to stay the sensitive and tender boys/men that we innately are and in most cultures it is actually frowned upon if we do. I know it is changing slowly but not fast enough for my liking as I can easily picture a world where there is no war , conflict or even contact sports because we have realised our true nature.
I am with you and can feel the potential of living our Soulfulness here together. This is what inspires me everyday to bring to my relationships this quality of connection and honoring, without perfection of course, but with all that I can.
It is a major source of disempowerment of men.
We go into our ‘behaviours’ because of the deep unsettlement we have from not feeling truly met and loved as we are from young and being seen in our beautiful sensitivity and tenderness. The answer to our woes is simple but certainly not a quick fix.
All of us, no matter who we are – and what our behaviours shows – all deep down want love, unfortunately many people can get confused as to how to get that love and many can search in all the wrong places.
When we realise love is found within we can at last drop the incessant search thinking that love is something we need to acquire.
What a beautiful spin on the saying, ‘Men are only after one thing’ and when we can all come to grips with what that truly is, that will be when the true fun starts.
” It is time we started to appreciate the true power of men”
This is true and thank you for sharing . Its also time for men to appreciate our true power and the equal-ness that this brings to us all as men.
I’ve married a man who constantly blows me away with how sensitive, sweet and tender he can be and he shows me that these qualities are actually innate to every man and every one.
Often men think they are only after sex, but can they be honest enough with themselves to admit that it is true intimacy and love that they are seeking, and that sex is simply a way for them to feel like they are getting that. Opening to true intimacy takes courage, and sex has become a cheap and easy way of avoiding it. To admit this is the first step to healing this and opening to true love.
This is of course true for both sexes.
I grew up being told that men were only after one thing and that was sex – how wrong was that piece of information that was carried down from generation to generation. We have to challenge the beliefs that are presented to us that are absolute lies.
Beautiful Leonne, that is : we are all wanting the same thing — hence we stem off from the same essence who belongs to that — and that is love. That is why wars do not actually make sense if we look deeper in to this all..
The men I know today are living in a way that is deeply caring and sensitive and it is a joy to observe this. To have a marker in my body of men in connection with themselves. Universal Medicine has provided a community of people who are making these kind of loving choices and reflecting to the world that this is another way to be.
Sometimes we can go looking for relief and connection in our hobbies and relationships however they rarely offer the connection to our innermost and tenderness that we are craving.
The roles forced into both genders ask us all to step far away from who we are.
We’re all after something we had the whole time. Like a bizarre game of treasure hunt we go round and round the maze of life, till we see that this world is our friend, and it’s only us who has been denying our light the whole time. Why hold back Love when as you beautifully say Leonne, it’s all we ever truly want. We can choose it today.
Loving ourselves is the starting point for us sharing and bringing this love to all.
To be free to express the love that we are means to appreciate all that we are and not hold back, to allow ourselves to feel the love in our bodies and live in, and with, that love.
As boys we are so set up to leave our sensitivity, love and tenderness in the cot and it is not very long before we are told to man up and if we are a bit slow to do that we are likely to get teased or bullied. The times are a changing though with more of us returning to love and setting up the way for the old blue for boys squad to be a thing of the past.
To come from ‘Men are only after one thing’ to ‘we all want only one thing. And that is ‘To live truly free to express the love that we are.’ is the truth and will be accepted in time and yes, it is what life is about to live in a way that is natural to us.
It is gorgeous to know men who are deeply sensitive and who are not afraid to show it. Men who have wanted to heal any protection or hurts and who communicate with the depth of sensitivity they naturally are.
Men in their tenderness do have an ability to melt the hardest of protections. Which fostering that rough and tought exterior goes against that innate sensitivity.
‘The more I get to know men and boys, the more I see how deeply tender and sensitive they are. I have spent much of my life despairing over the fact that men seemed to be “after only one thing”… until I began to realise that men are after the same thing that every woman is after.’ Gorgeous Leonne – we are all indeed searching for the same thing –Love.
Great to revisit this blog, Leonne, and its message about love as the common denominator within all of us, regardless of gender, age or race.
What a damaging lie it is to think that men are only after one thing (being sex). We are all after one thing in life and that is to be loved.
So very true Rebecca, there is nothing greater when we love ourselves and then share this love with another. It is all any of us really want and because we do not always get it we then seek lesser versions and crave it rather than saying it is either love or not and I am not going to accept any less.
When I heard someone say this in the past ‘men are only after one thing’ I have felt how much this was expressed from a place of hurts. So, what you’ve expressed here feels true to me, that ‘we are all after one thing in life and that is to be loved’ and love is within all of us.
If women join men in the showing ‘I am tough’ stakes, then there is nowhere to go except trying to be tougher and rougher. It makes sense to me, that the more women allow themselves to be women… to show their delicateness and sensitivity the more this will allow men to do the same.
“….because in truth, we all want only one thing. To live truly free to express the love that we are” – beautiful words and ending to an amazing read that turns over the euphemist notion of ‘only one thing’ i.e sex, into true love and essentially the expression of this.
‘ As the realisation of the true sensitivity of men comes to light, the horror of the competition, war, greed and violence that is very much a part of our false construction of modern masculinity is exposed for the lie that it is.’ We are so missing out when we encourage men to bury and fight their beautiful, innate sensitivity.
The search for love is common amongst us all, and once it is found within, the search is over.
Then the lifelong commencement of clearing all that we have placed over and above it begins.
A beautiful photo and a beautiful sharing and honouring of who we all are and our innate expression of this .
Yes, we all want love, and yet we are that love, just most of us are not living it yet, ‘To live truly free to express the love that we are.’
It’s so good how you bring it back to that one thing we are all looking for that is love. It takes away all the lies of the differences we have men to be from women and the other way around. What we find is that equalness is always there, there is no difference between you and I only the illusion of “different” we have put in the way, which is not our true reality anyway.
Don’t men say “women are only after one thing” too, only the one thing is meant to be marriage and kids. I reckon it’s all our responsibility individually to live in a way that does not perpetuate these gender stereotypes – I’m a woman and I am not after marriage or kids or pinning a man down – but love I’m always open to – and I think that’s a great starting point.
It is so deeply beautiful when men freely express themselves, free from the roles and just open up and share how they feel and what is true for them. So many men are very tender and very gorgeous and this needs to be celebrated. Often women too can cut this down if the man shows more sensitivity than her.
It’s so beautiful to read this blog as it is not something that is written about – the gorgeous qualities of men so often it is only the negative actions we focus on as a society. And they have gotten us not very far at all!
Thank you for honouring a quality in us all Leone, and reminding us that a deeper understanding helps to unpick the messy situation that we find ourselves in.
The old, men are only after one thing, was around in full force when I was younger and it was said quite often by disgruntled women who were either in a relationship, married or still looking. We are quick to judge others so that this deflects away from what we are not addressing within ourselves that we have felt but not been able to move forward with.
How incredible would it be to have women speaking so openly and loving about men to our younger generations to expose a belief for some but not for all.
It has to be a very lonely place when society dictates how we should express ourselves and what is acceptable and what is not – never likely there are more men suiciding these days. There has to be a change in the way we see men and the pictures we hold of what a real man is.