From the moment a baby boy is born he is only after one thing. Maybe his parents will cradle him in their arms and hold him to their chests, appreciating his delicateness and warmth. Maybe he will be safe and loved, honoured in his perfect imperfection, or perhaps he will be left to cry alone, born addicted to drugs or into a million other less than desirable scenarios: it won’t change what he is after though, because he’s only after one thing.
Within days he might be given his first football jersey, if not it’s almost certain that he will be dressed in blue. If he’s lucky it might be a year or two before someone tells him to ‘man up’ and stop crying. He will learn to wipe away his tears and soon enough he will learn to hold it all inside. He will do what he needs to do because he’s only after one thing.
He might hold on to his sensitivity for a while. You will see it when he caresses a newborn baby’s face, tenderly tucks his teddy bear in or cries when his favourite cartoon character faces a tough moment. If he does manage to hold onto his sensitivity it won’t be long before he starts being asked to change. He will hear the words ‘mummy’s boy,’ ‘baby,’ ‘soft’ and ‘sensitive,’ and because he is so sensitive he will know that none of these words is a compliment. He will look to the men in his life to find out how to be in this world because he only wants one thing.
When he goes to school he will learn to play the class clown, the good student, the sportsman or the troublemaker. When he shows his sensitive side he might hear new words; words like ‘gay,’ ‘sissy,’ ‘pussy,’ ‘wuss.’ He won’t even need his sensitivity to know that these words mean trouble this time. If he’s smart he will start calling other boys these names – the openly sensitive ones may even find their faces in contact with his fists. Either way, he will find a way through because he’s only after one thing.
Puberty arrives. His voice breaks, it is time to “be a man.” Girls are interesting again for a whole new host of reasons. Pornography is old news as it is more than likely that he has seen it all before. If he feels attracted to women he may find the world of sex and stimulation exciting and if he has already sensed that ‘gay’ is not a slur but a label for his natural way of expressing in relationship he may struggle to come to terms with it all. Either way he is only after one thing.
He or his partner might struggle with body image. He may look to sports’ stars or celebrities to inform him of his worth and standing. Life is a competition that he is subconsciously choosing to win or lose. He will stoically face the stresses of everyday life, arguments, jobs, money, family. If he cracks he will try to keep it on the down low. If things get really bad he will end it all rather than open up and talk about it. The world has already made it clear that his natural sensitivity is something to be ashamed of and after all, he’s only after one thing.
The more I get to know men and boys, the more I see how deeply tender and sensitive they are. I have spent much of my life despairing over the fact that men seemed to be “after only one thing”… until I began to realise that men are after the same thing that every woman is after.
I now have men in my life that have reconnected to their divine essence. These men respect their natural sensitivity; they cry when they feel sad and they express how they feel. They have shown me what a true man is.
The presence of these men in my life has been deeply healing and eye opening to say the least. As the realisation of the true sensitivity of men comes to light, the horror of the competition, war, greed and violence that is very much a part of our false construction of modern masculinity is exposed for the lie that it is. It is time we started to appreciate the true power of men who can express their great love and sensitivity because in truth, we all want only one thing.
To live truly free to express the love that we are.
By Leonne Sharkey, Melbourne
Further Reading:
Sensitive – We All Are It
Raising Boys
A letter to my Son
480 Comments
When we project onto men or anyone for that matter who we think they are they are left condemned in our judgment of them, far better to stay open and to be open to all that one can read.
Its really only when we honour that tenderness in ourselves that we can see it truly in others.
Men are equally sensitive, ‘The more I get to know men and boys, the more I see how deeply tender and sensitive they are. I have spent much of my life despairing over the fact that men seemed to be “after only one thing”… until I began to realise that men are after the same thing that every woman is after.’
We are all after the one thing, ‘Brotherhood’ and this is not about our mates but working together as one family that shares a deepening transparency in all we do.
Yes Greg, ‘Brotherhood’ and I would add Love to the package.
When we openly express and move in a way that is about our essences then we are deepening our love as we continue to evolve and simply reflect the deeper levels of our loving essence to others.
Absolutely, we all come from love and we all seek it, yet we behave so oddly in court to this and we don’t even start from this understanding in the first place. Thank you for exposing the only thing we all want, because we can have it if we look in the right place, within ourselves first.
Unless a man truly honours his natural tenderness and sensitivity then the man will be only after one thing however it is a responsibility as a parent to raise our boys knowing who they are and to do this we must live our sensitivity, tenderness and openess first to offer a reflection of what it means to live the love that we are.
“Men are only after one thing” – yes, and the same for women too where the one thing – is true intimacy and being held for who they truly and so sensitively are.
It is true the every man and every woman is after one thing however it is important to realise that in truth everyone has a spirit and that spirit does not truly want to live or receive the love the human is seeking. If it did it would not be a spirit! This is important because without this basic understanding nothing in this world will truly change.
Thank you Leonne, the beauty of who we all are, equally. How can we not be equal?
Men are beautiful.
Absolutely Leonne, it is time to start appreciating the true power of men.
With this said, I am in awe of what is being presented here now and by Serge Benhayon through the teachings of Universal Medicine. For these teachings show us that we are everything; super sensitive, loving beings that have invested in spending a life lived from an energy that we are not.
Men are deeply sensitive, tender and loving and if we do not get to see this then it simply means it has been hidden for whatever reason. Naturally, we are all deeply loving and all we have to do is let it out and share this with the world.
Accepting and inviting ones true expression holds the greatest form of love for another where there is no gender at play!
If there is a reason to inspire me to honour my sensitivity and tenderness, that is to expose the hardness and bullying from men .. this will be my motto for work tomorrow and all else I will be (from now on).
It is beautiful to have our eyes opened to see the truth that ‘The more I get to know men and boys, the more I see how deeply tender and sensitive they are.’ Then we can address all the pictures we have that tell us otherwise and live this truth in the world. For no matter how hard or defensive the man in front of us is, this truth is the same for them to.
A beautiful sharing Leonne, about the true nature of men, that like all women men are naturally tender and sensitive if only this is honoured and allowed to be nurtured as they are growing up, what a very different world we would live in.
Sensitivity is equally within us all, we all feel it, but it is not valued and this makes for a very dysfunctional world. To not honour our sensitivity we need to build up a hardness and in building up a hardness we express in the polar opposite way to our natural essence which creates a cycle of denial. The fear of standing out and being targeted simply feeds that cycle of denial. Thank you for laying it out so simply Leonne.
Men may be after a thing or two but they are running away from acknowledging their sensitivity and how powerful they are in that sensitivity.
Thank you Leonne for this unraveling of a societal structure that we have so falsely built that men need to be rough and tough and strong and invincible, all the while they have always been as tender and sensitive as they have been as little boys.
It is so true that underneath all the facade, the ideal, beliefs and lies of what is deemed as masculinity and what is the be a man, is everything that a real man already is in all his tenderness, love and wisdom. And yes we all do want to freely live and express who we are in essence, both men and women alike. You have highlighted so poignantly just how much responsibility we all hold in allowing and supporting each other to be who we are in essence.
Thank you Leonne, exposing the lies us men have been living is sorely needed, as I look back it took a lot to entomb my sensitivity.
Yes Greg amd the exposing fact that we all have let it come that way. We deserve so much more and truly better: lets start by becoming more sensitive to with how we truly feel and express this with each other and truly listen to each other.
Yes the picture of men being naturally tough and rough could not be further from the truth of men.
Beautiful Leonne, thankyou so much writing such amazing words that are clear and simple to understand. Your contribution to the world of men is a golden drop of sunshine in a sea of murky waters.
It is totally mad how we are not supported to stay the sensitive and tender boys/men that we innately are and in most cultures it is actually frowned upon if we do. I know it is changing slowly but not fast enough for my liking as I can easily picture a world where there is no war , conflict or even contact sports because we have realised our true nature.
I am with you and can feel the potential of living our Soulfulness here together. This is what inspires me everyday to bring to my relationships this quality of connection and honoring, without perfection of course, but with all that I can.
It is a major source of disempowerment of men.
We go into our ‘behaviours’ because of the deep unsettlement we have from not feeling truly met and loved as we are from young and being seen in our beautiful sensitivity and tenderness. The answer to our woes is simple but certainly not a quick fix.