I’ve always been interested in food, in fact it has dominated my adult life.
In my 20’s I started overeating and as a result put on weight year on year. I never considered myself to have an eating disorder but I did – I was a binge eater.
I used food and alcohol to dull my feelings because a lot of things upset me and eating seemed to calm me down, so I did that a lot. Drinking helped me forget but I was always sick the next day so eventually I stopped.
I kept going with the food and when preparing a meal I used to nibble (I still do) almost a whole meal before eating the one I was actually cooking. Then eat more afterwards. It felt like an empty void I could never quite fill and at the end of each meal I would instantly be thinking about what I was going to eat for my next meal… and then snack some more in between.
I am still doing that but recently I have become more discerning in the foods I choose to snack on. I can walk around the supermarket looking at various foods and know exactly which ones I do or don’t want. I am choosing a particular vibration that is offered by the food. I know that when I am light and spacious I am able to read the energy of situations very clearly. I already have a good awareness of what is going on and sometimes find it uncomfortable to be this aware so I eat specific foods to dull this.
For example, the other day I was wandering round the supermarket looking for some gluten free fruit bread and they didn’t have any in. I’ve been feeling very tense and tired lately and I had the thought that I needed a sugar hit. I no longer eat refined sugar but dried fruit has a lot of sugar in it and I homed in on a packet of dates.
I have eaten dates before and I love them, but they are very full of sugar and when I eat too many I get a headache like a hangover. I was intrigued that I should choose dates, which I haven’t eaten for a long time, but the exact little hit of sugar did the trick and my body felt more relaxed as soon as I’d eaten a few.
Sugar in food is a stimulant so it is interesting that I felt relaxed by stimulating my body. Rather like many people settle with a cup of coffee, what are the stimulants doing that make us think we are relaxed?
Another example is when I once again looked for the gluten-free fruit loaf. There wasn’t one in the shop so this time I bought a gluten free seeded loaf and three bananas.
I was on my way to an event, it was early in the morning, and in the car I ate one of the bananas and some of the bread in a sandwich. It felt and tasted yummy but there was a definite addictive quality to the way I was eating it. I felt a bit guilty because part of me knew it was not a good choice for my body, but I was aware that another part of me was being belligerent and going to go ahead no matter what. This is what I call the addictive behaviour.
Interestingly the day was one about healthy living, but I observed that all through the day I was thinking about the bread and bananas I had left in the car and when I was going to have my next banana sandwich. Like a drug addict planning their next fix. Why do we do that?
The part of us that wants to dull our sensitivity is deliberately choosing to work against us and our connection to our inner self, the pathway to our soul. We find this tension hard to bear and distract ourselves at any cost.
The saga of the banana sandwich went on for three days. I had one for breakfast the next day and the day after and now the bread and bananas are no longer there in the house.
What has been the actual effect on me?
The course I attended on the second day was presenting information that could take us to a deeper understanding of ourselves. It was very interesting but I had difficulty understanding some of the concepts and embodying them. I recognised that eating the banana sandwich may have satisfied my comfort seeking taste buds and my need for that denser vibration, but I could feel how much it actually dulled my ability to focus, to live as a connected human being with all my senses working in their full glory.
I also had a slight headache which made me a bit grumpy. I know it’s the sugar in the banana and the yeast in the bread that had that effect on me.
Don’t get me wrong, a banana and gluten free bread may be healthy compared with other choices to eat – say beef burgers loaded with cheese and ketchup – but for my body as it is now, they are not. Our food needs are very individual and we have to discern for ourselves what nourishes and what doesn’t.
I can’t guarantee that I will never eat a banana sandwich again, but what is happening with each food I choose to eat that my body doesn’t actually need is that I develop a greater awareness of the harm it’s doing me and I know that in time I will only eat foods that my body needs and that truly nourish me.
We can never eliminate our awareness, it is constantly evolving, but we can dull it and delay our own evolution. Conversely, we can choose to support our evolution by appreciating and honouring the sensitivity of our body.
By Carmel Reid, BEng DMS CertEd MCMI Personal Development Coach and Counsellor from the UK currently on a long term visit to Australia, Northern Rivers, Australia
Further Reading:
Misery, Sugar and Movement
Food Choices – From Eating for Taste to Eating to Nourish
My Body’s Reactions to Gluten, Dairy and Sugar
Compromising our bodies with or without food is addictive, one puts on weight and the other can at times lead to anorexia, so changing our focus to understand how to develop a self-loving relationship with our bodies starts to fill the illusionary ways our mind is deceiving us with and thus True-Love is the antidote to all our issues.
What food we are choosing to eat is a clear indication of whether we are choosing clarity or dullness. How we are feeling when we go shopping can be very revealing in what goes in the basket.
A perfect blog at a perfect moment, no surprise that I am clearly ready to see the next level of what is behind a pattern of behaviour that has been running for way too long. The moment we don’t want to surrender to the read all that is available to us, is the moment of tension that brings with it a choice – to surrender or to resist. The moment you reach for a stimulant and it relaxes you you know the decision you have made!
Fascinating isn’t it Lucy that a stimulant can appear to ‘relax’ us but it can and does, we get an oh so familiar and very welcome feeling of being ‘not quite there’ or ‘totally not there at all. Ah the momentary bliss of comfort that food provides, we know it well.
I know there are foods in my diet that are unsupportive. But trying to be hard and fight myself to give them up really doesn’t work at all. Being willing to understand why they are needed in the first place is far more supportive and I’m more likely to not need that food once the tension has been understood.
If I don’t eat healthy my whole perception of life changes for the worse.
I feel we lack the sensitivity of our bodies as this gets squashed at an early age as we are encouraged to look outside and loose ourselves into the society we have made. There are so many hooks and enticements, to become part of it rather than staying with ourselves and just observing life.
I’m feeling a lot of resistance to refining my diet at the moment . “we can dull it and delay our own evolution. Conversely, we can choose to support our evolution by appreciating and honouring the sensitivity of our body.” Appreciation is key as a few of us were sharing this morning at a meeting…..
What I enjoy about this article is the honesty that encourages me to explore where I still hamper myself – with food, behaviour and/or thoughts – and be willing to unveil the things that I try to avoid feeling. As you say our awareness never goes away – it is always knocking at the door – so we simply need to get to know for ourselves why we obfuscate this.
Reading your post again reminded me how I used to love sugar sandwiches as a child!! I was so numb back then I had no awareness of how they made me feel.
Me too!!! I loved them and they were my go-to food. Interestingly looking back now, they were also the start of all my allergies and intolerances. I had eliminated so many things but the moment I eliminated the banana sandwiches so many symptoms left. In the end I found I was intolerant to bread, bananas and dairy at which point they could see all the other digestive issues that had been hiding.
“The part of us that wants to dull our sensitivity is deliberately choosing to work against us and our connection to our inner self, the pathway to our soul. We find this tension hard to bear and distract ourselves at any cost.” It is often after attending a deepening course that I want to dull my new awakening with foods that don’t serve. At other times I feel full and complete and have no cravings at all. Still trying to feel into why this is so.
Sugars a tricky one because we think we can get away with a little fruit and then before you know it fruit bars are being shoved in the mouth. Then a detox is on the cards when the body complains loud enough where we have to listen or suffer.
Oh yes what food we go for can tell us a lot about our selves, what kind of day we are having and what we are avoiding.
Our body is always speaking to us, we just have to listen and honour ourselves, ‘Our food needs are very individual and we have to discern for ourselves what nourishes and what doesn’t.’
There is a level of understanding and patience in this article that I find very supportive and inspiring. Without being critical, there is the call to raise the standards when it comes to my relationship with food… there is the touch of a gentle parent here and it feels strong and loving. Thank you Carmel.
“I could feel how much it actually dulled my ability to focus, to live as a connected human being with all my senses working in their full glory.” How often have we experienced this after eating lunch and not realized that it is caused by what we are eating? The next stage of our evolution is in understanding why at times we actively choose to eat food that dulls our senses. Are we actively choosing to avoid feeling amazing?
Interesting that you say that, Rowena. I watch myself sometimes and I have noticed that when I am feeling off, I’ll eat to dull, but equally and bizarrely I do this when I am feeling truly great too! What is it about feeling amazing that we can’t handle… it doesn’t make sense?
A great question to ask because it exposes the madness of our propensity to reduce or dull the sparkle and warmth we feel inside. I get that it takes a bit of practise to let the sparkle grow and expand out if we have had years of keeping it locked away. That is what I love about the work of Universal Medicine – it inspires us to build from the inside out and express from this warmth and sparkle, which is, let’s face it, natural and innate in us all.
“The part of us that wants to dull our sensitivity is deliberately choosing to work against us and our connection to our inner self, the pathway to our soul. We find this tension hard to bear and distract ourselves at any cost.” Yes I know this one. It seems to be working overtime at the moment too…..
This is such an honest article Carmel, and shows how our individual journey with food is always changing and evolving. Of course our bodies are also changing and evolving too as we make the changes in ourselves accessing a deeper awareness of how we respond or react to life and people around us. I know from my own experience that trying to stop myself eating something that I am obviously addicted to is not the way to stop it. This makes me rigid and tense and sets up conflicts inside me. I find that to go ahead and eat it and be super aware of how my energy and body sensations is much the best way to learn what supports me. And if I do eat it then not to blame myself, that creates yet more tension. It is a journey of continual observation.
True Joan. Giving ourselves a hard time when we have eaten something ‘naughty’ could possibly be even more damaging than the food itself? Stopping eating certain foods through discipline may work for a time, but not for the long haul. Hence why diets don’t work – people can revert back to their old ways of eating.
Joan what you have written is very wise to use will power not to eat something is using a force which I have found doesn’t work for me. I have to eat the whatever it is until I feel so sick and tired of it I cannot even look at it again. When I can look at a food and have no interest in it then I know I’m not using will power. It does as you say take continual observation of what our bodies are communicating to us.
The more we discern what we put in our body the more we feel what it has always been telling us in response. No alcohol has no hangover, but we did not listen. Avoiding a sugar spike was easy, we eat more. Getting fat was just one of those annoying side effects. Our body has always been one of those huge billboards we drive by, and we learn to ignore them at our peril.
ha ha what a good expression – our body is one of those huge billboards we drive by! It is not subtle at all and yet we become so good at looking away so we don’t have to see what is right in front of us.
“… with each food I choose to eat that my body doesn’t actually need is that I develop a greater awareness of the harm it’s doing me and I know that in time I will only eat foods that my body needs and that truly nourish me.” Yes and it’s not just about what we eat but the quality we eat and even prepare our food in.
I have developed a bit of a ritual around my evening meal. It starts with how I shop for my ingredients; I buy the best ingredients that I can and as fresh as possible. I prepare my meal with care and attention to detail. I cook things exactly how I want them and then place everything on a tray. I feel which room to eat my meal in and then carry my tray to that room. Even though my family don’t eat at the same time as me, I ask at least one of them to keep me company whilst I eat. The whole process feels deeply honouring of me, I love it.
If we eat healthy foods in a manner and energy that is to numb our body then this is a form of abuse, and with regards to what we eat it is the energy we eat in that determines whether we nurture or abuse our body. It all comes back to energy first.
‘Conversely, we can choose to support our evolution by appreciating and honouring the sensitivity of our body.’ I feel that the key point here is in the honouring of our body…when we start to do this our whole attitude towards ourselves changes….and appreciation is a great step towards this honouring.
Eating is a movement that is set in motion by our preceding movements. It’s much easier to eat lovingly if we have been loving in how we’ve been with ourselves up to the point of eating. Eventually we return to a way of being where love is the impulsing energetic driver regardless of the activity.
I love this Alexis – a true ad simple understanding of our choices through understanding our movements.
We need to realise that what constitutes an eating disorder depends on what is truly of service to us or not.
The more understanding and honesty we bring to our relationship with food, the more we learn. The insights into what impulses us are deep and wise and all we have to do is listen to our bodies.
Thank you Carmel, the saga with food can go on for life times as we are addicted to eating nice foods and can tend to overeat instead of eating lightly so we do not dull, then it is simpler to be able to discern what foods are out-of bounds, for our bodies.
We can’t eliminate our awareness but we can dull ourselves and delay acting on it. The food is simply a tool rather than the cause.
Good question ‘Sugar in food is a stimulant so it is interesting that I felt relaxed by stimulating my body. Rather like many people settle with a cup of coffee, what are the stimulants doing that make us think we are relaxed?’ It is because it is quenching an addiction so once the addiction has been fed it stops which feels like the body is relaxing?
Trying to sort out our eating habits from our head and from knowledge never works … feeling our body’s response to a particular food and or what our body feels to eat is a way that truly supports us to bring about change.
My body cops it when I am disregarding with food choices. This is a real and lived fact. What happens next depends on the way I choose to think and treat myself for having made a mistake. Open to learning or abusive in my retribution?
I often crave sweet things if I am feeling tired or exhausted – this is a quick pick me up which is what I am seeking, however, what follows is often a bigger drop and more fatigue which puts me into a spiral… but it still takes a bit for me to break this and start fresh again!
Food addictions and cravings are a fantastic way to recognize that something is going on for us, something that we are perhaps not ready or wanting to deal with quiet yet. For why else would you be drawn to eating or doing something that did not truly support you? I have certainly noticed that when I am feeling great about myself, I seek only those things that support me, but when I am feeling down I am drawn to those things that seem to keep me in the downward spiral.
How incredible would this understanding be in the world of dieting. Pushing a healthy diet and measuring portions of food intake rather than asking the honest truth – what tension in our body is making us feel to eat in the first place?
This makes sense Henrietta, our food choices are a result of how we feel, how we treat ourselves and how we choose to live.
Food definitely has a sweetness to it and as you give up sugar, honey sweet fruits etc. everything else becomes sweet and addictive if we allow our taste and mind to control how yummy things are.
I find my relationship with food fascinating, how I can enjoy it and prepare amazing meals and share them and also how I can at times have cravings for things I do not want and either force myself not to have them or have those ‘secret’ eating moments which feel more harming than if I were just to eat it. It is the shame I find that can come with eating certain foods very debilitating as then I beat myself after. I have found this is changing though but it definitely can slip in at times.
Food almost any kind can drive us to distraction and when we indulge in foods we knowingly understand will not serve our reflection then our Loving will to bring all of who we are in essence can be enough to over-ride our cravings that distract us.
Well said Greg – I have begun to experience this in my life. I know that I am not as accessible to people when I eat a certain way so as this means more to me than the sensations of eating, I have chosen this above the food.
Perhaps one of the reasons why we feel more ‘relaxed’ after having a sugar or coffee hit is not because the body actually feels more relaxed, but if we have been feeling a tension in the body and then have a sugar or caffeine hit that makes our nervous system vibrate more loudly then we drown our the back ground tension. A bit like not liking the clock ticking and so we turn on the radio and turn up the volume. The clock is still ticking in the background but in the meantime we can’t hear it any more due to how loud the radio is! And, in case we had not noticed, many other noises are also drowned out and hence we are less aware of all that is happening around us.
Foods are a very powerful way of dulling ourselves and hence we often use them as a form of medication for what we are feeling and perhaps not wanting to feel.
Carmel, on reading your post I cracked up laughing – this addictive scenario with food that you have described so honestly and beautifully is something I certainly can relate to! For me it is with peanuts – not a bad food in itself (unless of course you are allergic to them) but more so it has been the addictive and compulsive way I get drawn to them or how I eat them that feels ridiculous and yet it seems unstoppable! To understand this deeper opens up the possibility to make a shift and then allow that behaviour to be dealt with. But without the healing there can be no true change for otherwise we simply shift the addictive behaviour from one thing to another and even if it appears to be a healthier choice, in the end if it is the same addiction driving the choice, it does the same damage.
For some time I fell into the habit of taking on other people’s responses to different foods, rather than discerning from my body how each food affected me. Bananas are a classic example, I avoided them, anticipating that they would make me feel speedy but they don’t. When I have them, I really enjoy them.
In the simplest of terms when we do things in life to avoid feeling what is really going on perhaps we should ask ourselves why? Maybe then we could start to be honest with how we truly feel and from there anything is possible.
My relationship with food is a bit all over the place at the moment. But something in the last few months has shifted a lot. I am not governed by ‘shoulds’ and rules so much and am much more understanding with myself and therefore able to be curious about the choices I make, when, where and why.
Dear Carmel, what you just wrote feels very relevant to me. I have been eating food recently that I haven’t eaten for a long time which I know is not supportive. The difference today is that I feel my tummy too hard or as you said a bit of a headache or my sleep is not as deep as it normally is. And like you I don’t eat refined sugar but bananas is some of the food I have been eating recently.
Banana sanga’s would not last the day if I started so I choose to not indulge although I have in the past felt that they were a special treat especially on a fruit loaf. Today I don’t feel like I am missing out as there is a level of indulgence that my body can not be submitted to, as I would suffer for some time after but worse than eating is the thoughts that get us into criticism or judgement about our-selves, so if we can eat it enjoy it as long as our body is saying yes.
The following words of wisdom are words to always keep in mind when jumping on the latest food fad wagon and hoping that this is the fad that will fix us. “Our food needs are very individual and we have to discern for ourselves what nourishes and what doesn’t”. And to find out what foods are nourishing for us or not, we don’t have to go too far, as our body will have all the answers we need, we only have to stop, connect to our body and honestly feel.
I have in the past controlled what I eat through discipline and will power – it’s futile, it’s much better for us to eat what we want until such a point that we are in no doubt that it no longer serves us.
I find the same Michelle. It is only by feeling the consequences of something in my body that it really doesnt agree with, that I can very simply and easily omit it from my diet. And then its not even missed.
It’s so much easier to stick with it (the removal of the food) when it comes from feeling the consequences. I cut out chocolate from a belief that I should and used will power and lasted 7 years! But as it broke this week I noticed how arrogant and anal I had become cutting out chocolate through force. I had some this week, felt super sick and now I am ok not eating it not through willpower but through feeling the consequences.
Yes Meg, we need to take the enemy, food, head on and then our bodies will sound the alarm bells and it is up to us to recognise them before we can no longer understand what they are ‘telling us’ pun intended!
Yes, and/or we have built a strong enough relationship with our bodies and enjoying feeling clear and well that the choices are simple and not a question of will.
“The part of us that wants to dull our sensitivity is deliberately choosing to work against us and our connection to our inner self, the pathway to our soul. We find this tension hard to bear and distract ourselves at any cost.”
I did that yesterday. It was like it was unstoppable. The eating. eating. eating. It definately feels like when I am like this that I am working against myself. And that part of me loves it but the truer part of me does not.
This is true, Ariana, if we feel that we have to eat or not eat something then we are not truly feeling what our bodies actually need. Making any kind of rule takes away the personal responsibility for the energy we are living in.
The concept that what comes out of our mouth and the judge-mental controlling thoughts are far worse than what we put into it our cake hole! Another thing is that lolly water sales seem to be also out of control as we thing we need the sugar to maintain our energy.
When we focus on what we are doing ‘wrong’ then we are adding to the pot of negative energy we let into our bodies. If we focus instead on deepening and appreciating the awareness we already have, then the food addictions lessen.
I struggle at this time of year with Christmas mince pies, always have, crazy really because they are not around the rest of the year and I don’t miss them, but when they come around every year the temptation is too much for me to bare.
A brilliant sharing Carmel of the effects of food on our bodies and the clarity and vitality we have . The reality of numbing what we don’t like to feel and the comfort of eating sugar and other things is something we don’t want to acknowledge but it is effecting the whole of humanity in how we are living and the state of our health and our bodies world wide as is so many other things and it is time for awareness and true understanding to be there for all as part of our true education and living the wisdom and love we come from.
Perhaps our body relaxes when eating sugary food from the tension you feel from life when you are very aware and in that feel comfortable because that is how we lived in the past.
No matter what we choose to eat or not eat, the gold is in the awareness and in not criticizing ourselves.
Actually, we should celebrate the gold that is in our awareness because of that awareness we are able to observe our addictions to food, something you cannot when you criticize yourself.
Very interesting what you propose here Carmel that we may be choosing food to eat based on more than just taste or nutrition, but possibly based on vibration or what it gives us energetically. This takes things to another level in terms of discerning which foods are supporting us and which are not and why we may be choosing the same foods over and over again, even though we know they are not supporting us.
‘I could feel how much it actually dulled my ability to focus, to live as a connected human being with all my senses working in their full glory.’ – This is what I have found during the time working with the principles of The Way of The Livingness, I have been open and willing to explore and feel what my body is presenting. Depending on where I am will depend on how much I am responding to what the body is communicating. When I do I can totally feel the fullness of all that I am and what I can bring.
I am finding even the smallest amount of any type of sugar raises my blood pressure!
‘I recognised that eating the banana sandwich may have satisfied my comfort seeking taste buds and my need for that denser vibration, but I could feel how much it actually dulled my ability to focus…’ I have noticed too, a fogginess when eating cake for example. It’s like my brain goes all cloudy. It’s remarkable how food can affect us so quickly, but at the same time how we are so prepared to ignore the affect, and stubbornly override what is being communicated.
I agree, Rachel, some foods leave me feeling almost drunk but, like in the days when we had hangovers and then conveniently forgot the effects they had upon us and drank again, eating sugary foods is rather like that for me. I recently ate a salted caramel coconut dessert and the taste in my mouth was unbelievably yummy and that’s how we get caught, we pay attention to the taste and texture and ignore the energetic impact.
I agree Rachel there is a marked difference after eating something like cake or biscuits. Even after not eating biscuits for some years now I would find it hard to not eat the whole packet once started. While eating I think to myself ‘I’m okay, I can handle it’ and then straight after a headache comes. It’s just not worth it.
Anything sugary is addictive so I can understand the ‘whole packet’ syndrome. It is as if we give up on ourselves and go, ‘Oh well I’ve started so I might as well finish’. Good eating doesn’t come from willpower, it comes from self love. Awareness of our energetic responsibility is important but if the love isn’t there the choices will all be aligned to anything that is not love.
So true Carmel feeling purpose and our responsibility to that purpose is different than trying to apply our will to eating healthily.
You are so right. Awareness can never be delayed- only dulled. It is our evolution we are delaying.
Yes, this is very much my experience as well.
We can have a lot of momentum doing things that are not good for us – at every level of health and well-being and in some ways the remedy is often the same: Observe, don’t judge and condemn, be sensible and let go of it when it is easy or not too difficult.
That would be so, intent being a critical factor in the equation. And thus, the same choice of food or drink can have a different effect, depending on the circumstances.
The way that stimulating foods can actually seem to relax us might be because we have slipped back into a well-known vibration of dullness, lethargy even. This would be in stark contrast to the tension we would otherwise feel, did we not eat what energetically brings us down a few notches.
So simple and clear as you write it Gill. And with this comes the opportunity to be much more curious and understanding with ourselves rather than judgemental.
What I find interesting is that I do not seem to have a stop and feel button once I start eating sweet snacks. It is like an insatiable hunger that completely ignores my body’s signalling. Nowadays I am curious about what leads to these moments rather than unforgivingly disgusted with myself – a change in approach that I appreciate.
Listening to our body is such a simple thing to do it seems strange that we aren’t taught to do this when young – and then honour what we feel. The education system doesn’t support this either.
“The part of us that wants to dull our sensitivity is deliberately choosing to work against us and our connection to our inner self, the pathway to our soul. ” So true Carmel – and such a trick, for why wouldn’t we all want to access our soul?
‘It felt and tasted yummy but there was a definite addictive quality to the way I was eating it’ I can relate Carmel – I am loving granola with almond milk at the moment, but I have observed the addictive quality also in the way of eating it – and I also plan when I am going to have my next granola fix! The thing is I have been denying myself granola for some time, so when I got honest about this, I decided to buy some – and now will let this run its course, for I also know my body will tell me, ok we are done with this food choice now and I will listen.
Relating to what you have shared about nibbling before and after a meal shows us how addicted we are to eating with barely a thought given to how much we need to Truly nourish our bodies.
A beautiful honest sharing on the addiction and compulsion of food and eating and all it can show us in our body with how we feel and what is going on for us underneath. The more we observe ourselves like this the easier it is to eat lovingly as a way of being and the call for sugar and burying stuff and abusing our bodies lessons naturally .
I’m intrigued by this in myself, using food, which is a stimulant, to feel more at ease. I know I use it as a form of relief, but a relief from what? Am I trying to escape my awareness so I avoid a picture of what it is to be responsible- with awareness comes responsibility. What if I’ve got a picture of responsibility all wrong and actually there’s nothing hard or arduous or sacrificial about it?! What if it’s a joy?
It is always super interesting how I eat and what I want to eat. Always showing me where I am at.,
Yep if we allow ourselves to be honest and aware food is a great gauge of what we do not want to feel or what we do want to feel. I am continually learning with this!
It is so well worth having a little check in now and again to see how our body is doing. When we close our eyes and focus within we can feel if our body is racy or not and bring it back to a more settled state. Not having good quality sleep also can be damaging and to watch what we eat later in the day, or how much we eat or drink of something can support us to be more settled at night – I have discovered that certain foods are fine before one in the afternoon but after that they tend to interfere with my sleep.
I agree, Elaine, eating fruit late at night makes my legs restless – also before a long haul flight I found it was great to stay off anything sugar-producing so that I could sit more still for hours and be less restless. It explains why as a child I used to be told I had ‘ants in my pants’ because I used to eat a lot of sugar and was probably very restless as a result. During the day I notice it less because I am always active, but I would definitely be more still in that activity if I ate less fruit!
Sometimes we don’t feel very well and can’t quite put our finger on why, then it’s great just to allow that feeling, no complicated analysis, just allowing the truth to reveal itself.
Food is a simple act of providing the body what it needs and supports all of the vital functions it autonomously provides for us. And then, we use, abuse, batter and mistreat this vessel we occupy.
Even a smidgen of food or a disconnecting thought brings with it an undo off the foundations we have set. So there is a knowing that it is the time to “ eat foods that my body needs and that truly nourish me,” and then we are able to Love all that this level of integrity brings to our day without any thoughts that will belittle and thus disconnect us because of our way of eating.
Stillness is key, we all have an innate stillness and I notice that while I am still eating fruit and carbohydrates, my body is restless, I find it hard to stay still. When I am still I can read situations and know what’s going on, so by eating sugar-producing foods, I am depriving my senses of valuable information.
More and more I am experiencing the power of self-honesty and how it frees us from the lies and illusion we have subscribed to in order to stunt our evolution through our attempt to abolish our responsibility. When we say ‘yes’ to truth we say ‘yes’ to living with responsibility, to evolution and the power of who we innately are.
It’s interesting to observe how one little area of life like food is, can have such influence in the other areas of our life, affecting them significantly and changing the experience and result of our whole living.
I hugely appreciate what it feels like to listen to my body and respond from what it presents. When I do this I know what is supportive for me to eat and what will fill me.
I appreciate this article about food because it cuts through the belief that there are rules we need to apply to the way we eat, that there is a right and wrong way that will solve everything. Food is an aspect of our lives, relatively small actually, that is part of what makes our relationship with ourselves and the world. My relationship with food and my body is going to be different to everyone else’s on the basis of what today holds, my age, level of physical activity etc. and most of all my connection and responsively to my body and the ample and clear signals it gives me.
Food may be a small part of our lives but it can be made into such a huge issue
“I used food and alcohol to dull” and fill an emptiness that is felt when we are not being focused on the Love we all are.
How much sugar does it take to fill our emptiness or how sick do we want to feel before we stop eating certain foods and is our lack of Love ever going to be filled by what we put into our mouth or the thoughts we have that try and justify a position that supports a position especially when it is obvious that it is not working?
Maybe it is time to allow the space for a more Loving approach to every aspect of our way of living including how our body feels and what is the underlying cause of our empty-ness?
“o” the pleasures of the mouth does it serve our body to eat any form of sugar I thinketh-not as when we feel our body even the minutest amount of syrup, carbohydrate, sugar, fruit cocktail, simple sugars and of course alcohol the king of all sugars, they all give us, me in particular a hang-over. Seeing I gave up most forms of sugar and alcohol 25 years ago, then fruits and honey etc. 5 years ago it has taken a lot of educating myself through what my body presents to totally illuminate my sweetest of sweet tooth. Now even the thought of eating a something that has its sweet reward and justification once won’t hurt you I get a hang-over, Hm maybe I should stop thinking about food all together and feel what is to serve the body for my next day to be of Service as a glorious reflection of the deep Love we all equally are.
This is a great example of listening to your body and the body being vey clear in its messages. Yes, the ‘Just once won’t hurt you’ approach is a lie so many of us succumb to.
There is more to it than our sugar seeking taste buds or comfort seeking spirit and it is an outside forces wanting to maintain control of as much energy as it can get its grubby little hands on.
Usually when we see the words ‘eating disorders’ I am sure that we automatically think of anorexia or bulimia but you have shown so clearly that there are many other forms of eating disorders, like binge eating, secretive eating and for me, eating to dull my emotions or feed my tiredness. In fact, I’d say that there are few people on this planet who don’t have, or haven’t had, an eating disorder, which beggars the question why? What is going on in our lives that we all use food to medicate ourselves?
There are many ‘legal’ ways we can medicate ourselves to avoid feeling the truth of what’s going on in our world: alcohol is probably the most physically damaging, but over work can also be damaging to our health, running on nervous energy, being stressed, over-emotional, anything that puts the body into dis-harmony stops our true senses working fully. Overeating does the same, stresses all our internal organs while they try to process food the body doesn’t need.
With support I am seeing how I choose food to dull myself and not feel what is going on around me. So it’s not about the food but about the underlying resistance to be aware of what I feel.
So many issues in life are not as powerful as we think but instead are cemented in place by the judgement we let in. It’s this harsh unloving critique that keeps poison in place and stops us learning.
We are masters of self judgement and also very good at judging others. We think it is a normal way to be but when we let go of judgement it can be very freeing, and allows everybody to be who they are and make evolutionary changes in their own time, i.e. when they are ready and not when we want them to.
Sometimes it is better to eat the sandwich than to fight the cravings. Because then, I find that I am just fighting myself. Whereas eventually the desire for the food will stop when the body has had enough, but a craving can go on for a very long time.
True, Shami, I am finding this right now: I have gone into rebellion, eating all sorts of things I wouldn’t normally have chosen, and now my body is screaming ‘Enough!’ I’ve put on weight, I feel bloated, my nose is stuffed up, my stomach hurts, I feel dizzy, these are individual symptoms I can ignore but collectively they are building a bigger picture so that I know something serious is going on that needs addressing. I’m finding life pretty challenging at the moment and avoiding being honest about how I truly feel, and I need to stop and talk about what’s going on. I’m in a new country, in a new relationship, everything is different and I need to decide how I am going to move forward. I’m missing my old life and all my friends but I have a new life and new friends, what is missing is my commitment to self love and commitment to my new life.
Very well said Shami. Its only by actually eating the food that we are craving that the body gets to feel the impact of how it is affected in a very physical way. And then it becomes a very clear choice to not have that food anymore.
Wise words, Ariana, as you say, the rules are not working, the Australian Dietary Guidelines seem to be totally outdated. I recently came across a leaflet advising people with COPD (lung disease) to drink plenty of milk – I was horrified because I found less mucus in my system without milk than I ever did before when I drank plenty. I don’t have COPD but it makes sense to me to avoid milk.
I was just about to empty my partners muesli into a see through container when I realised that I was setting myself up to dive into it even more frequently than I do, simply because it would be more on display. I managed to stop myself in the nick of time. Amazing how we pave the way to our own demise.
You remind me of the joke about the See Food diet – see food and you have to eat it. It goes to show that our eyes can deceive us into thinking what we want instead of feeling from the body. My answer is not to buy it so it’s not in the house but it’s not easy when others have things we don’t eat ourselves. I always say i can resist anything except temptation. And temptation is all around us, advertising, smells of fast food places, everywhere.
And also amazing how our awareness can guide us away from these traps we set. It’s brilliant that you caught this one. Interesting too how some foods can dull the awareness and sometimes it is about the amount ..like our bodies are ok with X and yet we want to have X x 4 or 5. We know when we have had enough but its like a game of how much more we can get away with…we don’t feel great after even X x 1 or 2 but we can ignore the feeling from the body and just follow our own desire until it really feels uncomfortable.
Addictive behaviour is super intense, yet when we are in it we don’t want to know or admit that we are in it at all. But from my experience we can’t truly ignore it because as you say there is that guilty feeling because we know what ever the substance, food, shopping or addiction that it is we know it isn’t a true loving, appreciative and respectful choice for ourselves.
‘A moment’s pleasure in my mouth? Or Joy in every moment.’ Put like that the choice appears easy, but we still override and go for the pleasure in the mouth, we think it is a ‘reward’ but it is actually punishing our body.
A brilliant blog sharing our eating habits and how these effect us in so many ways in our life and how we feel about ourselves. it seems obvious that ultimately it comes down to loving ourselves and feeling the fullness of who we are and living from this and the food choices and ways of eating that can come from here makes all the difference and is a beautiful journey with ourselves.
One way to get ourselves down with the best, most nutritious, most lovingly cooked food is to simply eat too much.
Our bodies respond with loud signals when we eat too much – feeling bloated, tired, indigestion, heartburn. The trouble is, we forget and overeat again the next day.
For quite some time I have been eating an entree of peanuts in olive oil before dinner. I knew that it wasn’t really a very supportive food but did not go into any struggle with myself to try and not eat them, I simply accepted that I was eating this food and if anything actually enjoyed eating the nuts. Recently I have stepped up into a temporary managerial role, having avoided responsibility at work for 25 years. What’s been fascinating is that my eating habits have changed in the two weeks since I have been doing the job. I have started to eat breakfast which I hadn’t been doing previously and the desire to eat nuts in oil has vanished completely. My body feels amazing and I am allowing it to lead the way.
‘My body feels amazing and I am allowing it to lead the way.’ This is key, to allow everything to unfold in its own time. I sometimes find myself overeating before a major event occurs, as if my body knows what’s coming.
From my observations with food I have realised it is a very personal thing. There are no ‘one diet fits all’ solutions or following a diet from a book, fad, celebrity or copying others. It really is a matter of feeling for yourself which foods support you and which do not and discerning your own menu based on this awareness.
Great point Andrew. I know I have strayed further from what is really needed when I have not listened and responded to my body, adopting a particular diet based on rules, ideals and or beliefs.
This is a brilliant blog to read because it shows quite clearly that what we eat not only affects how we respond to life but actually how self loving we are towards ourselves. For example if we eat to fill up the feeling of emptiness within us then surely the first step would be to work out what is it about the way we live and interact with life that gives us this empty feeling?
I enjoyed half a banana a couple of days ago, not having had one for a long time -my body was very quick in its response with my eyes beginning to itch badly along with sinus congestion a few minutes later – letting me know, that this is no longer a food that supports it. Too uncomfortable to want to repeat the experience.
I find it interesting how sometimes we do ‘get away with it’ but that could be because despite our bodies shouting at us we are not listening. I can eat a banana and not feel the effect, but when I truly stop and feel there is always something I can pay attention to. Sometimes if I’ve eaten too much sugar-producing food I feel as if I’m a bit drunk but it’s not enough to make me stop. As I develop more self love and better body-listening skills then it becomes easier to stop eating foods that I no longer need.
It is interesting how one food which once was supportive becomes a food that no longer suits us. It shows how sensitive our bodies are and a marker of truth.
In the past I found that if i find myself stuck in a grove eating the same things, knowing that this is to alter or avoid the way I feel I will take it to an excess so that it is without doubt evident that this is not healthy and needs to change. Now I have learned that I can be aware of how my body feels at the end of and throughout each day around eating and make more refined choices without it needing to get to the same point of excess.
We are fighting to feel the power and divinity we are and bring.
Thank you for your sharing as I have been having different moments of sugar cravings too and it has been interesting to trace what my movements have been and why I have gone for those food. Which ultimately then make me tired and take me into a cycle of wanting more.
Yes I agree. And the more understanding and curious I am, without critique, the more I learn and enjoy the learning.
I know my relationship with my body and also the food that supports it is a forever learning. I used to want the answers, the perfect diet, but now enjoy the ongoing opportunities to develop awareness in life and understanding of our bodies. The great thing about this is that it means I am open to exploring, rather than thinking I have to get it right and if I don’t I have stuffed up.
Yes, it is not just the food but the quantity, the timing, how we eat it, how it is cooked. There is a lot here to be aware of.
“The part of us that wants to dull our sensitivity is deliberately choosing to work against us and our connection to our inner self, ”
Why do we do this? I know when I overeat I lose my connection, I may feel more settled but I realise I am missing out on life.
‘recently I have become more discerning in the foods I choose to snack on.’ – This is such a key point, do we truly discern what would be supporting and nourishing for our body or do we just eat anything, regardless of how it may make us feel afterwards?
‘ I am choosing a particular vibration that is offered by the food. I know that when I am light and spacious I am able to read the energy of situations very clearly. I already have a good awareness of what is going on and sometimes find it uncomfortable to be this aware so I eat specific foods to dull this.’ Having this marker in our bodies of a clarity and spacious awareness, a connection to our inner knowing means we know when we are not doing this. At some point we wake up and realise we have fallen back into an old habit of just doing what we feel like rather than honouring ourselves and appreciating our worth. Gradually the more we make adjustments in these times and change the quality of our movements to come in line with our preciousness the less the past habits and reactions have their hold on us.
Some days I feel so extremely fragile and vulnerable, eating sugary foods feels like my only option to avoid the overwhelm, but whereas in the older days I would criticise myself for being ‘bad’, today I realised that I am not fully prepared to handle what lies ahead of me and perhaps I could explore better ways to support myself.
I can relate to what you share feeling fragile and all you want is a bit of sugar. What I do now, I allow myself that sugar and not beat myself up, I then just let my self feel why and what might have caused me to feel that way.
I find it amazing how easily I can get caught up into eating sugary foods when I have my 1st bit. Yet as soon as I look after myself more the craving or need for sugar vanishes and is no longer there. It goes to show how much our movements affect our thoughts and our body.
When we break it down the propensity to want to overeat, or eat things that dull, bloat or generally make us sluggish, when we feel emotional, doesn’t really work. We have the double whammy affect… the original un-dealt with emotion that is still there to be looked at and then we have to recover from the way that we have abused the body.
What we eat has a way of slowing our evolution but what comes out of our mouth and those insidious thoughts are a deeper level of addiction that also needs to be felt as the hangover can be far more challenging as we have to be aware of how responsibly we express as expression is everything, our way of being present with what we do can curtail those addictive patterns.
A great and real understanding of food how it effects us and the reasons underneath as to what and how and why we eat what we do. Bringing our awareness to food and its quality is very beautiful allowing us the space to observe what is going on in our body and why and make loving changes from here with true understanding.
It is really about bringing our awareness to food and the quality of what the foods bring. It is with this understanding and observation we can understand what goes on in our body and why. It is only through this we can make loving choices of choosing the food.
Interesting to observe my feelings as I read your words Gill. To observe everything we do and know that it is all OK is quite a challenge but great to do as it helps us to accept and appreciate ourselves and not to be self critical or judgemental.
Our body is an excellent science lab! What we do and put into it speaks loudly, if we feel and listen to what it is telling us!
It sure is Steve, and the more we see it this way the less we then bash ourselves after choosing something that does not agree with us! We are here to learn after all and are not designed to be perfect!
It’s super important to be honest, deeply absolutely honest with ourselves first before we eat. If we don’t that’s ok, but the former choice will guarantee the choice of the food we seek.
Well said Joshua, as long as we bring honesty to the way we are feeling before we eat we will see and understand why we are choosing what we are to eat. Otherwise if we just eat it can be hard to clearly see what led us to eat it.
Its great to be honest, but at the same time not to hold back what the body is feeling, it may not be what you expect, but it is the honesty that gets us to the unfoldment of what is taking place.
Sometimes we realise things in our behaviours with food, but we are not in the place to already change it. And that is ok- everything starts with honesty and the development has its own pace to finally live the truth that results from the honesty that wants to get expressed and lived.
I agree, it is definitely not a self bashing exercise with food rather an unfolding of what supports us and what does not. I know when I am caught up in something I may not be able to change the behaviour but as long as I recognise it then sooner or later I will no longer need it. But that starts with the way I am moving as the food is simply an end result which can be easy to focus on but really is simply and out play of events.
I love the approach that everything is OK, that is true acceptance, confirming that we are not inherently bad people, but that we are learning, evolving. Some lessons we have already learnt, others we have yet to master. Wherever we are on the scale, it is OK. Our choice to delay or move forward when we are ready. Or perhaps I could say to move inward, for that is where our true connection lies.
This picture is very revealing. Whenever I am on a mission to fill myself with food then I usually do so in the car – a place where no one else can see me and where I can just distract myself with driving to not feel the effects of the food.
Yes, I used to shop and eat in the car before I got home to my housemates and more recently to my partner. When we understand that ‘behind closed doors’ makes no difference to the energy we are putting out with our movements, and if that energy is harming, everyone can feel it
That is very interesting! We always think we can get away with things we do, that are not loving towards us, when we are on ourselves. What an illusion, as we are never alone. Only because we are not physically with someone does not mean, we are not connected to everything and everyone.
Me too! It is an interesting one as somehow in the car it can be my place of solitude where I am alone and no one can get to me or see me so it is a like a secret place where no one will find out. I know for me doing this is more harming as it is hiding the way I really am feeling rather than just being honest and saying I am finding things hard at the moment and so need something to take the intensity away.
Interesting indeed – I have never had a need to eat in the car, perhaps for the obvious reason that I have lived on my own for many years. Meaning, I can eat whenever and whatever I like… it’s all between me and God. Not.
There is such detail revealed in the way we seek to dull and stimulate our bodies, all towards not feeling and living from the enormous wisdom that the body can know.
I have also noticed I get food cravings that are linked to some kind of emotional tension I am feeling and I have also noticed that certain foods provide relief from this tension but make me feel heavy and sluggish and also ‘not quite there’ as I can’t seem to focus and get a bit vague and not as sharp as I usually am. Not a great feeling but one I seem to forget a lot in the heat of the moment of craving certain foods that ‘knock me out. ‘
“they are very full of sugar and when I eat too many I get a headache like a hangover.” It’s lived experiences like this that convert our food choices from a ‘dogma diet’ to a self-loving choice. No-one can deny that dates taste yummy, and so we have a choice; three seconds of sensory pleasure vs. an hour of a headache. No rules, no dogma, no right or wrong – just a simple choice.
And, as we expose one level, the next presents itself that was hiding; dates to mangos to pineapple to grapes. We continually recalibrate what is no longer needed.
If we make ourselves wrong for doing anything, we are in effect abusing ourselves and missing out on the deeper learning that is available constantly.
The moment we override the sensitivity of the body we are no longer our true or not even our real self.
That blows me away Alex as it is such a simple yet powerful statement and shows that essentially any moment we deny the sensitivity we are then we are lost and what we choose is only going to confirm the lostness and so the cycle begins.
What you describe here Carmel is a wonderful way to work with food and how it affects us. That way anything that we eliminate from our diet is because we have first felt it in our body that it is no longer working for us.
Yes, Elizabeth, when I want to be more in touch with my inner stillness, I know to stay off the carbohydrates and sugary fruits. When I want to feel everything, I simply stop eating so many nuts. Better still, don’t buy them so the temptation isn’t in the house.
Some foods I can eat on one day (particularly if I’m exhausted) which the next day taste far too sweet or salt because it is the vibration of the food that I’m choosing at the time and not the food itself.
Yeah I have really noticed this too…this proves for me that eating food is an energetic process as much as a physical or physiological one.
In general it can be said, we as a society are obsessed with food; but not really as it is what we use food for beyond the simple basic nurturing of the body – to regulate our emotional and energetic state of being as well as levels of awareness, power and responsibility. This is a 24/7 process we eventually need to master in order to be free to live in the quality of our true making.
‘to regulate our emotional and energetic state of being as well as levels of awareness, power and responsibility.’ That is very well described, Alex.
A honest look at what goes on behind our food choices.
Isn’t it funny when you tell people that you don’t eat gluten, dairy, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, they say it must be a ‘fun free diet’. We often see things that are bad for our body as ‘fun’ or ‘rewards’.
It’s strange that we tell children if they are good they can have a treat, that usually means it is something that contains sugar that makes them racy and makes their behaviour, not good?
Most of us employ things that we classify as ‘rewards’ to make up for the fact that we are desperately missing ourselves.
Everything means something, life is full of lessons when we are open to learning
The loss of stillness and clarity is so tangible and undeniable along with an increase in erratic moods, it all comes down to the question is it worth it?
Eating fruit definitely makes me less stable, I love the stillness when it comes and it’s a reminder to stay off the bananas… but they are so yummy and full of goodness… it’s just the sweet taste craving, food needn’t be a battle if we stop and listen and honour what we feel.
We really do need better education about certain foods and we need to start looking to the future and stop putting resources into stuff we really don’t need to eat. But the bottom line is to find out what we are lacking or how we are truly feeling, so we don’t need to fill the gap with sugar or salt or whatever else we need to dull ourselves.
what is very clear here is that it is an ongoing process and evolution concerning refining what we eat, but first why we eat it. There is no right or wrong here and to try and force yourself to ‘give up’ something even alcohol tobacco etc when you are not ready will not work, we need to look at the root of our behaviours with our comforts and resolve them, before we let things go that harm us, And that harm can be different for everyone of us, as you say one persona banana sandwich is a choice to support for another it is a choice to hinder and dull.
I agree, Samantha, we tend to think more about the food and the fact that we ‘shouldn’t’ be eating it but when we start exploring the root cause, the food issue resolves itself.
We eventually listen but the torture we put ourselves through up until that point is truly ridiculous when you look at it.
So true Jeanette – and in the face of what we know so clearly but want to ignore.
I am understanding that I have used food to numb me so I did not feel what was going on in my body. Now when I feel hungry, I stop and check in and many times I just feel and discard some old hurt. It has taken me a while to get this but now my body just does it as long as I stop and really feel what I am feeling.
I have also used food to numb me so I would not get over stimulated being in the world. Now I am more discerning about where I go when I am feeling overwhelmed, and I honor myself for doing this rather then think there is something wrong with me.
It feels great when we can appreciate and honour our body’s sensitivity, like when I express honestly what I have just felt and don’t delay that expression.
I know how incredible is that, for so many years I would deny what I honestly felt and express only what I thought was needed to be liked. Very different today when I express what I felt and how much more freedom I feel from this.
I needed something to eat the other day so I stopped at a service station and got a snack and I noticed how much the whole place is set up to temp sugar addicts and just say all you wanted was petrol but before you get to the counter you have to run a gauntlet of shelves and displays peddling sugar filled delights but not only that there was a revolving wine rack. Now I kind of thought this was going a bit far. Imagine someone at the end of a long day not even intending to have a drink but gets to the counter and there it is that bottle of wine how tempting could that be to just pick it up and pay for it with the petrol?
I am astonished that petrol stations are allowed to sell wine but they do act like supermarkets these days so I guess it doesn’t mean people will drink and drive.
Whenever we stop off at the services on the motorway it’s very difficult to get anything remotely healthy, but then I suppose they are catering for the masses and the masses are not exactly asking for anything healthy.
Petrol stations are refuelling stations for cars and people. We put petrol in the tank and sugar in the body. But sugar is a very crass form of fuel that runs out abruptly. By changing our living choices we address the underlying causes of fatigue that lead us to constantly wanting to refuel ourselves with sugar.
When I get that feeling of being ravenous I now have to stop and ask myself, what is it I think I can’t handle feeling because something is there I’m avoiding!
Yes, it’s great, isn’t it? Sometimes I can do that and sometimes I still eat. The other day I had a craving for peanut butter on toast. I asked myself what was I avoiding, went on to eat what I normally eat for a meal and the craving went away. There’s a lot of challenges going on in my life at the moment so I guess the craving was trying to not feel the tension and confusion.
I love how simply honest you are Carmel we need a lot more transparency from us all in how we struggle, how we hear that and then how it looks as it comes around again in another way, there is always more!
I agree Karin, I now know that if I can’t even wait to put my bag down before going to the fridge then something is amiss. It’s the same with eating whilst I do things e.g. if I feel that I need food to get through chores, then I know that my urge to eat has got nothing to do with hunger.
Yes, I understand that, when the binge mood comes, what is it that we think is too much for us to look at? Messages all the time from our bodies, being in automatic pilot and seeking comfort in food, leads us to not resolve what is coming up to look at and it prevents reading situations occurring clearly.
Same here Karin, no longer my goto but the exception that tells me something is not right.
Our current way of eating is to fill the beast as it needs fuel to get energy when in reality we only need to eat to be light or Love and this adds up because diets seem like a lost cause as obesity is going through the roof. Then every time maybe we could consider that we are more than this physical vessel so the next time that extra thought comes in stop, take a moment and consider is it evolutionary for me to have that?
I don’t yet fully trust that our energy can come from the Soul and only a little bit from our food that is essential for our body, I’m still thinking I need to eat for energy even though I am eating no sugar and less fruit and carbs than before, but I am often exhausted so needing something. I am looking at why I am exhausted and it is usually taking on other people’s ‘stuff’
So true our relationship with others as well as food has to on a level we honour and what works well for us, Therefore we can only take in what Lovingly works at anyone point in time otherwise the stuff becomes stuffing that is not easily dealt with and takes us away from our connection to our essences.
I went to someones place for dinner last night and I knew I had had enough or more than enough after the first course and every particle in my body was telling me that I didn’t need dessert, but I had it anyway and felt bloated then had heartburn during the night. When will I ever learn?
Ha yes! Lots of us are getting heartburn at the moment – it is very simple to cure, we just have to eat less. Today I was looking around the chemist while waiting for a script and there are shelves and shelves of products you can buy to help you with digestion so, apart from the food manufacturers, pharmaceutical companies are making lots of money from our excessive eating.
When I was a drinker and a smoker and ate dairy and gluten I also used to take prescribed heartburn pills on a daily basis, I went for tests and even had a camera stuck down my throat to see what was going on in my stomach to give me such pain. But when I stopped the drinking, smoking,dairy and gluten the heartburn mysteriously vanished and I haven’t needed the pills for years now until just recently, when now my body is saying no to more than what it said no to before. Even last night my wife made these amazing homemade sausage rolls I ate one and it was so good I ate another and that resulted in me being woken in the night by the dreaded heartburn.
I know when I’ve eaten the right foods in the right quantities because afterwards it feels like I haven’t eaten.
Alexis thats so true, even a big plate full meal can leave me feeling light or a small snack can send me to sleep.
Our body knows what it needs, be it little or large. The mind, however, has a whole other agenda that doesn’t include the body!
The difference between eating in this way and eating to override what we feel is marked and so easy to feel – what a great way to read the intentions behind our choices of food and portions.
This is a great point Alexis. Its when our body feels different than it did before we ate, that we then know what we ate didnt really support us.
So much effort is applied to not living what is truly there to be lived and a delay to which will always be there waiting for us in another moment.
This is an important point Carmel – that we are not so much choosing food, we are choosing vibration. With this awareness we are more cognisant as to the banquet of evil (all that pulls us away from the love that we are) that is dished up to us daily in order to tempt us from truly evolving.
It’s not hard to tempt most of us. We’re sat there at the ‘All you can Buffet’, napkins around our necks and knife and forks at the ready.
I never really thought of these stimulating foods in the context of feeling relaxed Carmel, that ‘Sugar in food is a stimulant so it is interesting that I felt relaxed by stimulating my body. Rather like many people settle with a cup of coffee, what are the stimulants doing that make us think we are relaxed?’ The ‘relaxed’ state is in fact dulled or raced up so that we cannot feel so intricately what is going on or what is being asked of us, they take away the ‘intensity’ or awareness – I know I am learning to live more easily with the sensitivity I feel by.
I used to drink a lot of strong coffee, including a cup shortly before going to bed and yet I slept. Knowing how strong a stimulant caffeine is this shows so clearly where I was at and just how much I was using stimulation from coffee at that stage in my life.
I’m with you Carmel, I know there will be a time when I will only eat what my body needs but I am a little way off that yet or a long way if I’m more honest.
How many people are there that have not yet re-awoken to what our bodies have never stopped telling us, regarding what we put into them and physically push ourselves to the end of our limits? There is no need to beat ourselves up, just recognising why we wanted to do these actions is a great starting point on the journey back to us.
Same here Michelle and what a blessing it is to become aware of the many ways we dull ourselves and to also understand why. Prior to Universal Medicine, I felt like I was living deep in illusion and completely blind to many things in life. How amazing it is to wake up and see what is really going on.
Most likely when we have an addiction of some sort, it is a sign we are avoiding love, awareness, connection, healing our hurts etc. it could be a number of things we are avoiding, but the key points come back to being a sign that we are avoiding evolution.
The fact is, when I am connected to a deeper aspect of myself, food doesn’t enter my mind. However when I am disconnected from myself, food often sits at the forefront of my mind.
Ha! Yes this is true and an added measure I can use as an indicator of how much I am (dis)connected – when I am doing something in connection I don’t feel to interrupt myself for a snack. Hm… I snack a lot…
And the thing is I very much enjoy days where I don’t need to think of food for distraction! Actually the enjoyment of being content and with myself in the job at hand during the day, is nourishing in itself.
It’s a great point Alexis. Aside from the moments when we are genuinely hungry, why are those thoughts entering our mind anyway? So we can either fight this, feel rubbish about it, deny it, ignore it…all of which will just move us closer to eating more…or we can lovingly accept what is going on and, without judgement, choose what next. We may still choose to eat more, but there is at least an honesty to that choice. And that is the most important foundation; being honest about where we are actually at.
Do we ever wonder that while we scientifically know that sugar stimulates, that after eating it because of a tension we wanted to ease, we feel relaxed and discharged? To me that proves that the body has been dulled, the other effect we try to not look at but for which eating sugary foods is used the most. Physically we do not need that amount of sugar to keep the body healthy and fit so it is clear we use it for another purpose.
When I look back on my University days, I used to be up all hours and my favourite snack then was a bowl of icing sugar with water – a double of creamy texture and sugar hit – comfort eating supreme. I was running pretty exhausted then I think, studying for an Engineering degree and some subjects were very difficult for me. Plus being in a new relationship and having arguments. Funny how life’s events can pull us down and we head for comfort eating as a coping mechanism.
There is a part in us that avoids us to go the way to our soul, the soul that constantly is pulling us out of the misery we are creating by ignorantly neglecting it.
Sometimes Richard, I have eaten because there was a pain in my stomach and adding more food has ‘settled’ it. The stomach area and digestive system are energetically linked with self acceptance so it may be that there is more for me to do in terms of how I accept myself.
I agree, Richard, there is much learning in the simplest things once we realise that everything means something.
What I like about this, is how honest you are about the food choices that you make, and how ultimately even though it is often your head that decides, your body always tells its side of the story.
When we are surrounded by love, we can constantly feel what is not love in us and in our behaviour. We can stop this feeling by numbing ourselves or distracting ourselves and eating food that doesn’t fully agree with us is one way to stop the feeling.
Starting to understand, clock, and allow to be revealed, the addictive nature that food plays in our lives is the start of being able to actually let go of some deeply ingrained old patterns and habits that are having such a deleterious effect upon our bodies
I have just started a new job. It is a job with a lot more responsibility than I’m used to and I am acutely aware that I could eat my way through the job, in response to the increased responsibility and change in head space. Being very aware of this has supported me so far not to disappear into food as a way to self soothe and instead I am actively enjoying the challenge and subsequent changes that it is bringing. Potentially it is a time of incredible evolution and as much as possible I intend to stay open to what is available to me.
‘not disappearing into food’ – seeing it from this angle brought a deep inner chuckle to the surface Alexis. I have also found this to be true – when not being aware or the hidden pulls to comfort ourselves, we are instantly in separation from our innermost connection
“Being very aware of this has supported me so far not to disappear into food as a way to self soothe”
It is interesting that even foods that seem to calm, dull, numb or relax us are actually a stimulant – a stimulant of that which takes us away from our natural self.
This openness and honesty about a relationship with food is so refreshing and supportive. At one point you talk about ‘the saga of the banana sandwich’ and this made me smile… the drama we make out of things is one of our madnesses. If we can be curious without criticism, we can observe our relationship with food and let it offer us more insight into our days, how we are going and what challenges or disquiets us.
There is a part of me that knows too many handfuls of nuts eaten in one day is harming but the belligerent part of me overrides that – that’s the addictive behaviour i.e. once I start I can’t stop and willpower simply doesn’t work. But, as you say, it is a signal that we have become disconnected so moving in a way that brings us back into connection is a great idea. The belligerent way of moving is hard and jerky, chin out. Connected me moves with tenderness.
The latest pain I was getting was heartburn – after an expensive visit to the cardiologist because I was getting chest pains, I realised it was not my heart but my digestive system, getting acid reflux from overeating spicy lamb. Since I stopped eating lamb, I haven’t felt the pain. It’s a shame though because I love lamb, so maybe I’ll try just a little bit…
The body movement is interesting to observe, for example, just lifting up my heart centre (chest) makes me realise how often I sink down into myself. My self worth is reflected in my movements.
There are definitely some foods that my body reacts to and the obvious ones I have removed from my diet, and I find when my body feels less ‘dense’ it becomes more receptive and also quick to communicate what does not sit well… and also what does.
I like this point Victoria because often people say to me that surely it is better to eat a bit of everything and then your body copes with everything; that when you eliminate things your body becomes intolerant. My observation for me is that as I have explored and eliminated certain foods on the basis of how they make me feel, my body has become stronger, more vital and its communication clearer.
Ah thank you Carmel. The so called ‘comfort’ foods that are not so comfortable at all when the effects are felt in the body. There is so much we can learn about ourselves from our food choices.
It is a matter of timing, Victoria, because when we eat to dull our senses, we cannot feel the effects of the dulling foods in our body. At some point we have to experiment, use our body as a science laboratory and leave foods out of our diet for a few days and see what happens. I have to not have any nuts or bananas in the house in order to do this, so it starts when I go shopping. In fact I can feel it before I go shopping.
Yes, there is more to addictions than only the fact that there are things that our body gets physically addicted to, it is also the feeling we get and what we are avoiding that is needing to be taken into the consideration as these are often having a much bigger impact than the physical addiction.
If the body doesn’t want to eat, then even a small bowl of lettuce and olive oil will interfere with it’s energetic quality.
Wow, that’s interesting, so when we are out to dinner and eat to be polite, even though we are not hungry, then as well as the energetic harm being ‘nice’ does to us, we are harming ourselves by taking in a food that our body does not need in that moment. It is more subtle than most of us realise.
This exposes just how much we are run by ideals and beliefs that are indoctrinated from childhood and by society and how food is used as a substitute for love. e.g. eating three meals a day, eat everything on your plate or it will be there for breakfast, it’s rude to not eat what is offered (even if feeling stuffed with food), the guilt trip of other starving in the world etc – the list is endless.
I have recently become much less dogmatic in what I do and don’t eat and my body has subsequently been much more responsive. I’m enjoying the conversation – it’s good fun.
My body is very quick to respond these days, last night I ate the same food and about the same size meal as my 9 year old daughter which bloated me but didn’t have the same effect on her. She obviously needed that meal and that is what she felt to eat but I didn’t feel what I needed but just went with what she wanted for convenience .
This is a big one for many of us I feel. Putting convenience before discernment.
When we have fun and allow ourselves to learn and grow, nothing can be too difficult or hard. Our relationship with food can be too serious at times. I think if we went back in time and told people some of the stories and experiences we have with food today, they would think we are crazy.
But I would challenge this Gill, because you (and I and almost all of humanity) definitely do purposefully dull our awareness and we have to be honest about that. It is a very conscious and purposeful choice and I feel that pretending that it isn’t, pretending that we are not 100% aware of EXACTLY what we are doing allows us to dodge the bullet of responsibility.
Exactly, Otto, we do know, 100% the exact vibration, choice of food, amount of food and even the time to eat it. Sometimes it is before something big we know is coming up where we know we will have to deal with an uncomfortable situation, and sometimes it is because of something that just happened and we don’t know how to deal with our own reaction, or perhaps we are unsure how to express truth and then handle THEIR reaction. Comfort, dulling, yes both are absolutely our choice.
I love how you make this so clear and I have realised recently that I can actually go out of my way to dull myself just because I am feeling so good, which makes no sense at all unless we know about the wily human spirit.
The choice is purposeful and the hiding of that choice from ourselves is equally purposeful. Well put.
I’ve been observing recently how specific and skillful I can be when measuring the vibration of food and it’s known effect in the body. What I would have in the past simply passed as ‘a craving to numb something’ I now feel the precision with which that something is chosen – for it’s exact measure and effect. It’s interesting to notice and to therefore know that clandestine game is up.
I’m really curious at the moment to understand how food affects me. Particularly noticeable in my thoughts, and how I’ve been finding how certain foods make it easier for weird thoughts to come in which I know are not me.
Wow – we don’t expect foods to affect our thoughts, although I do remember when I started eating sweet potato after not eating it for a while my mood got quite nasty. I notice that there are times when things don’t feel great at home and that’s when I eat handfuls of almonds, instead of talking things through. That successfully stops me reading the energy of what’s going on because I can’t think what to say.
We all know what foods support us and keep us bright eyed and bushy tailed, but that belligerent determination can pop up anywhere at any time when faced with emotions, choices or actions that we just don’t want to take responsibility for and address. Eating foods that dull our awareness and vitality is just an attempt to walk away from our selves and our inner knowing, something that we all know is a complete impossibility.
I agree Carmel our food needs are individual so following a diet of some sort will never truly help to find our way with food and its nourishment. Interesting is that a part of me loves to have rules and preconceived ideas about what to eat but my experience is that they don’t work at all.
Me too Annelies, I do enjoy the freedom of having savory meals for breakfast for example whether it be soup or some other meal that might ordinarily be considered ‘lunch’ or ‘supper’. If that’s what my body needs it doesn’t really matter what it’s classed as.
Having beliefs and ideals about eating, I find doesn’t work as I can never live up to them… I’ll then cave certain foods and then feel bad about myself for eating something I know I shouldn’t. Yes, all our needs are individual as are all the bodies that go with those needs. It makes sense then that the only authority on the subject of food should be the body and how it responds or reacts to what we put inside it… and then we adjust our choices accordingly.
I’m still thinking breakfast, lunch and dinner, although some days breakfast and lunch become ‘Brunch’. It is getting warmer now in Australia and I find that I am happily eating salads and fewer cooked vegetables. I naturally tend to eat more in the Winter in the UK just to keep warm, but it’s less of a problem Down Under. I have observed sometimes I eat in the morning before going out so that I am fuelled for the day but after some meals I feel like going to sleep so that’s a sign I’ve eaten too much. I’m observing and learning as well as letting go of the ideals and beliefs around food.
Can you still find those relaxation chairs, usually located in malls and airports that vibrate and you can adjust the vibration rate? And, as you have said Carmel, are these devices doing the same to our bodies albeit mechanically, that sugar and coffee do? We willingly do this so that we can relax?
Ironic isn’t it, how we can use something stimulating like TV dramas or films, or war games on our computers, or coffee, alcohol etc to ‘relax’. All they are doing is distracting us so we can’t feel the tension that is always there because we are not living who we truly are and we know that but prefer to pretend we don’t. Crazy.
‘Our food needs are very individual and we have to discern for ourselves what nourishes and what doesn’t.’ – It is easy to fool ourselves that we can copy other people’s diets or recommendations all the while we ignore the signals from our own body, a body that is consistenly communicating what is needed for us to feel well and vital.
Just today I was at the hairdressers and while having my hair washed the hairdresser put on a massage function in my chair. I said, no offence but do you mind turning the massage off? She said, yes of course… and then, you are the first one who has not enjoyed that… I said, that’s fine, I just prefer to feel the stillness in my body rather than distracting it.
It’s a relevant observation Steve. The way in which we are designing a world that supports us to deny our stillness is truly amazing; it seems now that almost every possible opportunity to take 5 mins stop time has been invaded by a stimulus-delivery device of some sort.
Very true Gill, it can even be down to simple movement, our posture or the way in which we speak. I am aware of this in my own life currently but in knowing this we can also use these things to actually support us to live in our awareness, express it in what we do and respond to what we feel accordingly.
‘I ….find it uncomfortable to be this aware so I eat specific foods to dull this’. Sometimes becoming so aware is uncomfortable and seemingly hard to bear because it brings our whole life into question. How much can our nervous systems cope and what coping mechanisms have we put in place to manage this? When we allow ourselves to be our own scientific experiment we learn a lot about ourselves and can begin to change how we respond to life and thus behave differently in situations that have made us anxious in the past. We need to get the me out of the way, not as in an abandoning way but in a deeper connection kind of way where there is no room for emotions and we can see more clearly.
We can go into overwhelm with life and feel we can’t cope – some people run away physically by leaving their partners or moving house, some run away into their minds with intellectual pursuits, others sink into their bodies with mind altering drugs, there are many options available. The Space project is all about running away to a ‘better life’ but you know what? Where ever we go, there we will be with all our issues tagging along. The space we need is inside us, space to feel, space to look at our old patterns of behaviour based on old hurts and space to let everything go.
I have begun to see how what I eat is a constant process of refinement according to what is right for my body. There are still those things I eat which I know are to lessen my sensitivity etc. however they are not the same foods i.e. everything evolves when we allow it.
‘Everything evolves when we allow it’ yes, Michael, I agree, over the years my go-to foods have substantially changed, and so has my attitude, for example, instead of berating myself for being a ‘bad girl’ (An old hang-up from my days as a Catholic) these days I eat and observe, ‘OK so what’s going on for me that I have chosen to eat so much this morning…?’
When I go back to very old foods then I know it is something pretty serious that I am trying to avoid feeling, and try to express what that is. That makes a huge difference.
To put a stop to distractions by many thing we can use our will to be a divine being and then that platform allows us to deepen our relationship with everything so food can become a necessity that will feed our growing awareness of what all the foods we eat are doing to our bodies even before we eat them we understand the ramifications.
It is great to be reminded that we cannot eliminate our awareness but can only numb and dull it by the choices we make.
‘So we spend a lot of time and effort dulling something that is naturally who we are.’ Written like that Jane, we can see how it just doesn’t make sense!
Or it makes enormous sense – in that, if it is naturally who we are, then it must require an enormous amount of effort to deny it. Putting out a big fire takes a lot of water.
Yes so is the issue in responding to all that we see, feel and are aware of and what this asks of us? An inner and outer responsibility to live in respect of the truth of us ALL.
It needs lots and lots of water to keep it small as this fire you actually cannot extinguish because it is eternal and will only grow bigger. So what is then wise you may ask, keep on quenching the fire or just to let it come out and experience what this brings?
Which therefore means that most of us are constantly smothering our awareness down in order for us to not know that we are all the constant terminals of love. Has there ever, in the history of the Universe been a more wasteful and useless pursuit?
Over the last year, I have discovered that my body cannot handle raw onion. Now onion has always been a staple in my cooking and something I have always enjoyed but of late I feel really unwell. My body comes over all hot and bothered, there’s this feeling of wanting to vomit and to get the substance out of the body as quick as possible, even the smallest amount. There have been other food products that my body reacts to such as cola, cold milk and parmesan cheese. When the body is this extreme with its messages it’s easy to take notice but the more subtle reactions are the ones we can override and think we are getting away with it.
A very real and honest account of the comfort of food and the numbing and comfort it can bring whilst behind the scenes we are harming ourselves our body our connection to all and our evolution. Being aware is our greatest gift and guide to life and we are always aware and hiding this which causes tension and discomfort inside we cannot escape from as love is who we are.
Very true. Simply observe and be honest about what you observe.
My experience has been that if I do something that is less than optimal – like eating the wrong food or food that makes me feel queasy even if it is healthy – is to do it with observation but not to stop doing it, unless it is too harmful. Over time the observation leads to understanding why I am doing it and over time the understanding allows me to choose to continue or to deal with the cause. ‘Over time’ can be seconds or years, that changes from case to case.
I agree, Ariana, food is offered as a ‘treat’ or for a ‘reward’ like chocolates and alcohol for example, but neither of those are what the body would actually love, it is just clever marketing from manufacturers and our fickle minds that allow ourselves to be persuaded.
I agree Alison, maybe the question is why are we afraid to be in our full power, sensing and seeing everything that is going on around us, it doesn’t make sense.
and why are we so afraid of living in our full power?
Could it be the energy we eat food in plays a deeply significant role in the nurturing affect foods can have on us. So a Loving conversation that is evolutionary would make food much more digestible? And as Otto has also shared on this post a 5 minute walk would also be beneficial.
“I could feel how much it actually dulled my ability to focus, to live as a connected human being with all my senses working in their full glory.” What we deny our selves through the quality of what we eat, drink and consume is immense, a deliberate sabotage of our incredible sensitivity and awareness. Hence building this kind of relationship with our food empowers us to reclaim our knowing, integrity and self-responsibility, qualities that are deeply needed in our current age of rising illness and corrupted ways.
So important not to live by riles of what we can and can’t eat but rather to understand why we choose to eat what we eat as you do here so well.
I am very aware that when I introduce a new food for the purpose of comforting myself, that that ‘new food’ becomes a part of my diet, at least for a while. It’s like it wasn’t on my radar before but now it is. However I am also aware that as this is going on, I am still also able to drop other foods that no longer serve my body and it’s energetic requirements.
As I refine my diet, I find that I substitute with slightly ‘better’ food, but energetically they are still the same. It helps me to adjust my taste buds, for example moving from sugar to honey to bananas, and you could argue that each one is more healthy than the last, but they are still offering my body a sugary substance it doesn’t need.
This is a great article Carmel, as it helps to explain why we eat and what we eat. Its great to bring it back to the tension of not wanting to feel or be aware of something, rather than making it about the food. Its also valuable to just observe the effects after you eat something, rather than berating yourself.
Yes, Fiona, we can be in our heads and beat ourselves up and in doing so further reduce our self worth or we can honour our bodies, observe and bring understanding to our behaviours and in that understanding, many of our food cravings will drop away.
I used to think that it was normal to seek particular food, to dull a particular feeling be it cosy pie and mash, snazzy sherbet, luscious scone and cream, everything is articulated, created in a certain way to offer us a sensation, dulling, stimulating etc….There are smells, feelings, memories that my body knows that start me off again with a craving an idea of a food. We say we do not know why we eat a whole pack of biscuits, some will say because I can, but there is in truth an underlying reason for the consumption of every type of food we eat. All we need to do is be honest about our feelings to unearth what the reason is….and this is something that I continue to work on and with…..to honour what I am feeling, express it and if needed clear it. So heal and clear our hurts and hang ups and hey presto….we begin to choose food that supports us more, and the deeper we can go with this, no rules, no dictation, just feeling from your body and honouring it.
The ‘was it worth it?’ Question is really worth feeling and being honest about, but essentially it is the deepening the self love and actually caring about ourselves that makes those choices easier to make.
…and for me the ‘deepening of self love’ means respecting more and more what I feel and so as a result I naturally want to feel more and want to eat less
When we make it about eating disorders and that the food is the problem we are missing out on so much wisdom as why we eat what we are avoiding and so on.
We very much hold the belief that it is the taste in foods that get us but as you unravel here it is not that what we taste after all but the effect this food has on our body and all in all state of being. The taste is the tangible factor but it is the energetic part that is the actual drive behind our motivation.
Love your honesty Carmel. It is only through actually trying stuff, feeling the effect and then making a choice for oneself as to whether that effect is something we are OK with, or would rather not experience again, that we actually can make choices that have a foundation – by which I mean, choices that will stick.
In a world where we are told to disconnect and dismiss any sensitivity we feel and have it makes sense that we have bodies that are in disarray and disharmony as well. The more I let myself feel it and embrace it as a part of who I am I can feel that I don’t need anything to receive me from my day.
What’s more interesting to me is that if I control the food, and make it look really good I will find ways through emotions and reactions to achieve the same result without the food.
Something I am learning, Gill, is that we cannot judge people from our heads, for all that does is provoke a reaction and no evolution, we need to feel our bodies and speak the truth of what we feel, and then the tension goes away and we didn’t need to eat anything to numb it. ‘Expression is everything’ is a phrase that often comes to mind.
It can be foods we crush for to release a tension, but the same effect is caused by called in thoughts that are the same indulgence like foods.
The relief of any tension we don´t want to feel, may it be to stay in the grandness that we are at that moment, or to not feel, what energy we allowed in and causes disruption in our whole system and body- no matter what we eat or drink feels like a relaxation as it numbs the tension beforehand. But our body cannot be manipulated like that. It has to cope with the seemingly false calming down we allow, because we simply arrogantly can.
Nothing is removed regardless of how much we eat or what thoughts we indulge in, it is always there, our bodies feel everything all of the time. The only thing that changes is our awareness, which gets dulled and provides us with a false sense of comfort. The tension is always there.
I know very well the addictive part of me that goes on the hunt of something and when I can’t find that something come up with another alternative that gives me the same relief. The thing is the relief is only so temporary if at all and the feeling it leaves me with afterwards lasts for ages. It is ridiculous that it takes us so long to learn when we could chose differently in a moment.
I can be very addictive and calculating in what and how I eat to dull my awareness. I’ve noticed a constant tension because I’m just not saying yes to feeling everything: how the world is without being sugar coated, how I am – so if I’m grumpy how horrible that is for those around me, protecting old hurts and fearing old fears. Surrendering to feeling it all, trusting I will still be intact at the end of it and going gently is how the compulsion that can consume me dissolves.
I liked the part about sitting in the workshop and thinking about the bananas and bread in your car, like a tasty treat that was waiting for you at the end. I do this too, fantasise about the meals and the certain foods I am going to prepare, which for me is often a sign that I am not very comfortable in the space that I am in, or even just with myself.
What I have found is that when I am experiencing an emotional tension, then I want to eat stimulating foods in order to make my body feel equally tense and hence close the gap between the two. The real healing comes when I am able to accept responsibility for creating the emotional tension in the first place and learn to sit with it, feel it, nominate it and then move on. The usual ensuing need for the stimulants tends to naturally dissipate.
When all illegal and legal drugs will be eliminated from one´s diet and lifestyle food will still be available to reduce our quality of presence and therefore the willingness to act responsibly in the overall sense and context, hence the need to very individually master one´s food and eating choices for the sustainable well-being of oneself and those we are in connection with. We need to give the body the food it needs to be healthy, but we also need to give ourselves the food that allows us to be emotionally and mentally sound and well.
The foods that we are told we need to be healthy are completely different to those that we actually need to be healthy. We are told to eat foods from so many different food groups, of varying colours, in specific quantities and cooked and prepared in specific ways. Serge Benhayon is the only person that I have ever heard address the fact that the energetic quality in which we shop, store the food, cook the food and eat the food has more bearing on our bodies than the food itself.
True, Alexis, when I look at dietary guidelines I shudder, they seem to be more interested in pandering to people’s existing tastes and preferences rather than what the body actually needs, rather like the doctors saying that alcohol on moderation is OK when it is clearly a poison and not at all what we should be drinking in any amounts.
Take a look at THAT SUGAR FILM to see how unhealthy some ‘healthy’ foods are. The lesson being that we have to discern for ourselves, because the packaging sure-as-hell isn’t telling the truth!
Many say they wanna know but only a few want to be really aware. To know is an owning without necessarily an action or consequence to follow, with awareness always comes the call for responsibility to respond accordingly. Eating for emotional reasons, for easing the tension always means to reduce our awareness and thus delaying the action that otherwise would be naturally following.
Healthy or unhealthy addiction is addiction. I have been addicted to lentil protein crackers lately and some might say gosh but thats healthy! However I can feel the energy of addiction to these which isn’t. Any addiction we have to something is simply an energy that is taking us further away from ourselves and just not worth it. One I am still in the process of learning.
I have noticed how when i feel tired, I reach for sugar but usually end up crashing much lower and feeling much more tired than before.
Yes, I too have noticed that very often when I am tired and eat to fuel myself I end up more tired. However, if instead of spending 10 mins snacking, I have 10 or ever 5 min rest and reconnection to myself I get recharged.
A great little reminder Nicola. Thank you. It’would be an ace fridge magnet!
Another thing that I find recharges is a purposeful walk – with a committed stride!
It can also depend on what is causing the tiredness. Quite often I can get a bit tired or drained if I have absorbed stresses from the day and in those cases a few moments of stillness and to come back to myself are very nourishing, whereas eating something can actually take me further away so there might be a short calorie hit followed by a further drop in energy.
Simple banana and egg white pancakes are so yummy and should be placed on the dangerous food list as one is never enough and in the days where maple syrup was not to sweet and sugary for me to eat that would definitely have to go to the foods that distract us from being connected, maybe we should just have a blanket ban on all yummy foods? But that would not work because as we modify our way of eating to adjust to our Livingness and thus what the body is telling us it needs all foods become yummier!!!
When we are living in true harmony everything is yummy, agreed, Greg
We are all so deeply invested into food and eating. It is great to unravel what is truly behind our addictions and how our spirit plays an important role in keeping us in the same loop instead of supporting us in our evolution.
I love how you keep it all real Carmel, if we all get as honest about what we eat and why we eat it , it would be evolutionary.
Evolutionary for all as this is the quality we would bring to others.
It is an important observation: “I used food and alcohol to dull my feelings because a lot of things upset me and eating seemed to calm me down, so I did that a lot”. Often when we realize a change is required, we target the end behavior, however it is much wiser to consider the underlying issues which led to an adoption of the behavior as a solution.
‘it is much wiser to consider the underlying issues which led to an adoption of the behaviour as a solution.’ I agree, Golnaz, the deeper we can dig to deal with the underlying issues, the eventual behaviour no longer has a cause and is no longer an issue.
It is great to become scientists of our own bodies…to what what we eat, how we eat it (and prepare it) and what effects it has.
We are being true Students of The Livingness when we are constantly refining what we eat and how we live and feeling what works and what doesn’t.
I know that the more I focus on the quality within my body, the more it supports me to choose foods that keep me feeling bright eyed and bushy tailed. The process has enabled me to transform my eating habits from a high sugar intake to a zero sugar, gluten and dairy free diet quite smoothly and every cell in my body loves me for it.
I wonder if food choices are an outplay of something else that happened beforehand. It is useful to have some discipline but to try to stop a behaviour without dealing with the underlying cause may just transfer the underlying need on to another food or behaviour.
Yes very true – definitely need to look at underlying factors or will recreate elsewhere, but can also sometimes attend to behaviour at the same time if they are reinforcing each other.
It always comes back to was it worth it, worth the fogginess, lack of connection. I have very much gone for foods for relief this week, they don’t even do that much for me taste wise anymore but it is what it is and then we move on.
I know that one Vanessa, I’m suffering from the second sinus issue for this year and know that some of the foods I have allowed back into my diet are not helping the situation. Time for a food review. Like you say ‘Is it worth it’.
A lot of food is chosen and indeed designed and manufactured for taste regardless of their nutritional content. It is as if our original sense of taste has been bastardised to love the things that we know are ‘bad’ for us like sugary sweets for example.
or that absolute killer combination of salty and sweet. Oh the addictive pull of salted caramel!!!
Its interesting how we learn to rely on food to deal with how we feel, rather than things that do actually support us rather than suppress a feeling, like a walk, opening up to someone about how we feel, a session, maybe some quiet time in a bath or breathing gently.
I never really considered why it is that sugar, a stimulant, makes me feel more at ease/relaxed when i choose it and have been feeling tense. Its almost like there is a trimming tension that is eased by racing the body to the point where it can’t feel it, and i associate the disconnection from by body as being more at ease. Rather than feeling the tension and dealing with it, the food gives a momentary relief
Nothing is removed regardless of how much we eat or what thoughts we indulge in, it is always there, our bodies feel everything all of the time. The only thing that changes is our awareness, which gets dulled and provides us with a false sense of comfort. The tension is always there.
Something as simple as looking at the deeper reasons behind our food choices can lead us to great understandings about ourselves.
and also feeling heaps better and fitter!
Understanding why we may want to comfort eat and being aware of how certain foods affect our body is really supportive in making healthier choices.
I just love this blog Carmel and can relate to it a lot. Much of my time of reading this blog was done so with a smile on my face. Love the humour and playful curiosity imbedded in your writing as you unfold and have a willingness to go deeper.
Agree, we all do know the games we play, (however much we say we do not), concerning our habits and food. I love this light exploration of how we can go deeper with understanding our habits.
Our spirit knows exactly what foods to eat to dull down our awareness simply to avoid evolving and our body will always reveal the truth of our choices.
Our body is the marker of truth, it never lies – all we have to do is listen before it shouts too loud.
Through observation I am aware that foods that I crave and keep thinking about are the very foods that keep me in immersed in an addictive cycle.
What definitely helps is to observe one’s patterns and behaviours and not only in that moment but the after effect that follows. So in other words keeping an ever and lovingly observing eye on ourselves.
Our bodies are so clever, they are so alert with what foods we put in them. If we stop to listen to how the body feels after, we will know exactly what it did or did not like.
“The banana sandwich” – it’s interesting how we can eat something at one time, for instance like bananas [which I used to enjoy as a child] and then later on or a few years on find the digestion of [bananas] no longer suiting; in my case I noted I bloated with the sugar. When we listen to our bodies, our diet is easy.. it only becomes complex when we involve a wanton mind that overrides our bodily communication.
It’s an interesting question as to why we eat foods that we know don’t suit us or have a negative effect on our bodies – I work amongst these amazing cakes and brownies that I a hundred percent know my body doesn’t like but still I often try it out (and regret it). I think for me it’s a deliberate choice to negate my own responsibility in life by testing what I can and cannot get away with, rather than accepting and embracing the fact my body cannot eat these foods and feel ok after.
Is it a deliberate choice because there is a need? If it is a need, then what is the need? If that needs is there, why is that need there? Eventually we will come down to a choice and it may be as simple as choosing to move in the house or at work in a less than full expression of how awesome we are.
Whenever I see something I know tastes good and my taste buds would enjoy the consuming I then tune in how my body would feel afterwards ( by past experiences ) By that, I can easily choose between 5 seconds of satisfaction in my mouth followed by heaviness or raciness or a clear, light, still body.
It’s interesting that we may have a moment that we crave something, and we know what it does to our body. We may even be aware of the source of our craving. So, why do we buy the large loaf and a big bunch of bananas, or a large of whatever our craving choose, that will guilt us into eating more. Could it be like when you were little, and you were accused of something you did not do, and there was no way of changing the accuser’s stance, it permitted you to do whatever you had been accused of?
Although the body needs food to stay healthy and alive, food also has a dulling affect at the time of eating and digesting in which we are less aware. We all know that moment when we would love to take a nap after a meal. Although this is a physical reaction of the body it too affects us in our awareness and discernment on what is in front of us. Therefore it is wise to eat light as it keeps the body and awareness light and ready to serve when needed – which could be any time.
I have experienced that overeating can calm me down at the moment of eating but later on it makes my body anxious and racy as it is too occupied with digesting all the different foods at the same time.
I can relate to what you share, overeating can be a form or numbing so we don’t have to take responsibility.
Yes true and the awful effect of the food lasts hours and hours, sometimes day compared to that of the ten second delicious taste in the mouth.
It is such a great thing to do to observe our behaviours around food, I sort of go into this very mild, subtle but there frenzy as my spirit takes control and I over eat or intake sugar in some form or other. Take last night for instance we had a guest and we ordered a curry, I was famished as I hadn’t eaten since breakfast and ate far more than I should have which resulted in a night of heartburn which proved that it was so not worth the over indulgence.
Not only is our needs and relationship to food are individual, but for each individual it can differ in different situations and also change over time. It is fascinating to observe and start to gain an understanding of the dynamics at play as in this blog, and immensely insightful
It is good to take a stop moment to feel what is truly going on, even after eating nuts which tend to make me feel dull, if I can stop to feel, I can still feel something. Not as much as I would if I hadn’t eaten anything but enough to remind me that my body feels all the time and to encourage myself to want to feel more.
So true when we stop after eating our bodies confirm to us how it is feeling, where nourished, full of vitality or sluggish and tired. All of these are great reflection.
This is so relatable Carmel, because I have never been overweight I used to kid myself that I did not have an eating problem yet many years ago I stopped buying biscuits because I knew that if I opened the packet I would just keep going back to them until they were all gone.
As others have shared, for me it is my behaviour around certain foods that exposes the addictive quality and how I am using food to dull myself and it is too late to try and be ‘disciplined’ when I am in the shopping aisle but rather it is about what led me to that moment and how willing I am to be open to the awareness that I am trying to avoid.
A pure example that there is more at play than just our hunger-filled cravings driving us to open the pantry. Clearly there is another creature at work within us that does not work in harmony with the body. Super important to be honest about this and even more important to make this every day conversation.
When we will be honest in this conversations, the assortment of the supermarkets will drastically change because we will no longer choose for the foods that do not support us in staying light and aware.
We all know how great we all feel when we choose to make food choices that support us. As always each choice offers us comfort or the potential to live the vitality we often talk about.
‘ there was a definite addictive quality to the way I was eating it’, I recognise this Carmel, and every time I eat like this, I already know, this food product has to go…My pattern is, I normally continue eating a little while longer, and then all of a sudden, its like ok enough of this food, you are now purely indulging, and I stop buying and eating it!
Just recently I started eating again a food product that I had stopped eating, which was humous. I ate I think 2 tubs with celery sticks as a morning snack till lunchtime. I found I could have continued eating many more tubs, but didn’t because I could feel the effects on my body, I didn’t feel so clear, and felt a little tired. It then became a really simple choice, no more humous, my body does not need it.
It is the Yes to the clarity that lets you stop eating it and not a brain construct or idea, why you should not eat it. A beautiful example of choosing out of a greater purpose to not eat something, by experiencing the effect in you own body, instead of blindly following diet rules.
Its amazing how much of how we approach eating could in actual fact be considered a disorder – when we reach for food because we feel tension, an emotion, boredom etc and the food provides a temporary relief.
As well as the consciousness, the way we approach food also makes a difference.
It also opens up the conversation to consider if we are using food for any other reason than to nourish then it is being used like a medicine or drug to temporarily relieve.
First we had popcorn at the movies, then T.V. snakes, and now snacking and drinking in the car when we consider how much food dulls us, is it becoming obvious to eat at regular times and share in uplifting conversation and then the food may not matter as much? And when we look at historical photos we were very much a healthier society and the main thing was a shared meal every evening with uplifting discussion.
If we take a moment to look back in time – how often would you see a person walking, eating and talk on the phone. And now we don’t blink an eye lid at this behaviour. Create the abnormal and it becomes the normal.
This is an interesting one. I was thinking of you waiting to go and eat the banana sandwich – and how will power isn’t the fix. It’s a bandaid over a broken arm, if you will. It doesn’t address the reason behind that urge. And also, in many ways it’s better to just smash down that sandwich than to will yourself not to do it. I really love your honesty though, it’s very relatable and refreshing.
I clicked on the hyperlink for ‘snack’ in this blog and it was interesting to read that 60 years ago snacking did not exist but now it has become or we have made it part of our culture to snack, eating on the go (even walking down the street!) eating in our cars while driving, eating at our desk when it is not break time. So surely the question has to be asked at this time where we have the opportunity in the world to feel more than ever what is going on … what it is that we don’t want to feel? With this it is not just feelings of overwhelm or angst we don’t want to feel so we go to food from personal experience and from hearing others experiences we eat to also not feel how amazing we are/feel!!!! Crazy isn’t it. And something that I feel we definitely need to explore and discuss more.
Agreed Joshua, at least we are then able to understand what is leading to behaviours we may not want to continue doing.
When we have the awareness we can start to make different choices.
The comfort of food and my awareness and not wanting to feel what I do come hand in hand and it is something I am working with also. A brilliant honest sharing of the way we can learn more about ourselves from listening to our body and its messages and our whole evolution and contentment in life.
All my life I have been a binger, I never ate chocolates because if I started I would eat the whole box and when I drank alcohol or smoked cigarettes it was always to excess, so now it is just food and I certainly do like my food, I often nibble when cooking so when it is all done I probably have had enough but I eat it anyway because it is there. It is a good thing to know why we eat and why we crave certain things and know that it is all about dulling otherwise I would be twice the size probably.
Food is the instant and easy solution to not feel any tension of awareness and responsibility anymore. The moment we say Yes to that, food does not have such a grip on us anymore. I allow myself to stop before I put more food than necessary in my mouth and feel what is the truth behind my tend to overeat. The moment I do announce that clearly and give space for that, what energies are at play, I can let go of the snacking after a big meal. Tried it out yesterday and it worked.
Food consumption is such an important factor when it comes to our sense of focus, our well-being, and clarity … though how often is it that we have it the other way round i.e place the focus on our well-being, focus and clarity first as our priority and importance to then determine what foods to consume.
What you write Carmel reflects the disease and obsessions of people who live in affluent and western countries: an obsession with food because we have too much of it and most people live with excess. For the large majority of the world’s population it’s the opposite. Their main preoccupaton is growing, picking and finding food to eat that one meal in a day, if at all.
For richer countries food is easily come by, all they have to do is choose which food to buy off the shelf or online. As you say, in poorer countries, their whole life is geared towards making enough food to feed the family every day. It does not feel balanced that there are these two extremes.
Dulling or awareness? One requires effort the other just flows. How much energy do we spend on doing nothing?
Discipline involves cracking an energetic whip.
Continually deepening the connection we have with ourselves will eventually bring us back full circle.
One day we will prove and fully realise that it’s not the end results that truly effect us but the quality of energy we let govern us and the way we move that actually hurts.
Beautiful words of wisdom Joseph, thank you. I recently realise this too.
Isn’t it crazy that when you have something where you can feel the addictive quality kick in it’s insane how you just don’t stop thinking about it on a regular basis. This was huge for me when I stopped smoking three times!
“The part of us that wants to dull our sensitivity is deliberately choosing to work against us and our connection to our inner self, the pathway to our soul. We find this tension hard to bear and distract ourselves at any cost.”
An insightful view on humanity. It is one of our core issues.
I love how down to earth and practical you are Carmel. With obesity figures on the rise and ill health statistics off the chart, this is the type of conversations we need to be having. Using food to medicate ourselves has never worked and is no different to any kind of drug we become addicted to.
So true Julie this is a pressing issue for so many and unless we are willing to be honest about what has led us to this point the inevitable downward spiral into illness and disease will continue and intensify.
I know that when I am feeling pretty sensitive to things, then food is an easy out to dull myself. The more I feel any inner turmoil or tension, the more I turn to food and think I need it. When in fact – the higher the level of love in my body, the less likely I am to fill it with food, therefore food is not the issue – it is how much love am I willing to feel and express.
I have found this to be true with my own body too HM. When holding awareness with my body, the craving for food just disappears.
“When in fact – the higher the level of love in my body, the less likely I am to fill it with food, therefore food is not the issue – it is how much love am I willing to feel and express”.
A brilliant presentation Carmel of how we medicate ourselves with food, as such we use foods much like a drug to escape what we are truly feeling and clocking, relive our tension and the drain of emotions we take on. Even over eating all the ‘right’ foods has the same effect. The more we explore the quality and purpose of why and how we are eating the more, if we are willing, will choose to eat in honor of our evolution and maximise living our true potential. This is a continual work in progress for me and the more I am open to being honest with what is going on the more fascinating I find it all.
Food like all things can either maximise or minimise our potential.
The moment I overeat I cut myself off the communication of the space that is all around me. It then only counts me, what I want, instead of feeding my vehicle in a way, that accesses the greater intelligence that is all around us all the time. Simply waiting to get accessed while we are making the ME- dance over and over again on this plane of life.
Another open and very honest blog from you Carmel and I very much enjoyed reading it. What I became aware is that any food can become an addiction, it is more about why we choose to eat what we eat and how we eat it thereafter. We are masters in finding the right food to not feel what is going on in ourselves and around us but it is better to feel the consequences in our body of what we are eating and why we want the food in the first place than not eating it by using our willpower
Letting my body be the driver instead my thoughts and ‘desires’ has revolutionised my relationship with food. And even when I ‘blow it’ and feel the consequences, it is a great learning experience.
I can relate Jenny and I love observing how my body feels after eating certain foods and being open to learning. When we are open to learn then there cannot be a hint of judgement, and this means we can have so much fun with observing and listening to our body.
When feeling low, I find that once I give into a craving I just want more of it and I can’t say no. When I feel good in myself, especially when feeling joyful I find it’s easy to say no, as in the moment I clock how the food will affect my body and that it will dull my feeling of joy… and let’s face it when feeling joyful no amount of sugar, banana or chocolate can ever be a real substitute.
Useful to know a craving reflects an inner void or need. Giving in to it only brings temporary relief, going deeper and exploring what’s at play and why leads to more lasting solutions.
It is far better to be understanding and observant of your behaviours than judgement and self bashing which is far far worse than the fullness of any incorrect foods could ever bring.
Self judgement is borne out of the same energy as is eating to numb. Same same but different.
Your honesty and openness is so refreshing, Carmel. When we live with this kind of transparency, we really support each other to bust out of the strangulation of ‘keeping up appearances’. Thank you.
‘I already have a good awareness of what is going on and sometimes find it uncomfortable to be this aware so I eat specific foods to dull this.’ This feels very accepting and honest, and very relatable. I have become a lot more relaxed about food choices and find that when I put an all out ban on certain foods then it is those very foods that end up in my shopping bags. The food I eat is always determined by how aware I want to stay, or if staying aware is too uncomfortable for me in that moment.
When I give myself rules to adhere to, I basically set myself up to fail, which simply and cruelly perpetuates a cycle of diminished self worth. When I listen to my body there is a lightness and joy to decision making that has no dictation in it at all.
I love the inquisitive nature of this piece Carmel, and the open and curious approach to awareness and how we try to avoid it with food. The fact is that we do try to avoid it, and the interesting part is in being honest, curious and observing the facts that come from our body. Yes this is fascinating actually – that stimulation makes us feel more relaxed; that something that makes us feel more racy and jangled would make us feel more ‘relaxed.’
Good point, Fiona, if I am thinking of anything else while I am preparing food, or even clearing up the kitchen, if there is any resentment or frustration or anger, then that is what goes into the food. Same as what I’m doing while I’m eating – if I’m watching TV or scrolling through Social Media, what energy am I ingesting?
Hugely appreciate your observations of the addictive behaviours that occur around food Carmel, its very relatable.
I have clocked a sly justification voice that pops out when I choose to eat more than i need or snack before bed….as I tuck into mouthfuls a little voice says yeah these almonds are full of vitamins and minerals, this Manuka honey must be good for my immune system……I use justification to validate my desire to eat something i know does not support me in that moment….indeed the dialogues/habits we revisit are bananas!
Ah Lucinda that ‘sly justification voice’ is a mate of mine as well! One thing that it often whispers to me is that I need to eat something to have energy to do things but deep down I know that that isn’t true. Food isn’t my main source of energy because when I’m ‘on’ I can cruise through my day without eating much at all.
Feeling what to eat and when to eat is a process that keeps deepening. The more I pay attention to what my body is telling me the clearer my food choices are, and what I have discovered is that what I thought was healthy may not necessarily suit my body or there are periods of time when my body does not want a certain food and then for a short period of time it wants it again.
The more I connect and drop into my body and the more I express through speaking, singing, writing, moving and being the more fulfilled I feel. And this stops any cravings and supports with discerning what food I need.
It’s interesting how sugar has been one of the hardest things for me to give up, alcohol and cigarettes which are known to be highly addictive were far easier to let go of than sugar, which I still hang onto.
“I can’t guarantee that I will never eat a banana sandwich again, but what is happening with each food I choose to eat that my body doesn’t actually need is that I develop a greater awareness of the harm it’s doing me and I know that in time I will only eat foods that my body needs and that truly nourish me” – this is called living life Carmel as you personally see and feel it, taking responsibility for your own body.
Any eating regime such as snacking, over eating, eating too little, indulging in foods that comfort and so on brings disharmony to the body and whether we call these habits eating disorders or not we certainly need to look at our relationship with food and the way we live and not the food itself.
I understand that eating sugary or stimulating foods or drinks numbs us and stops us feeling and connecting to our soul but what I still don’t understand is why I still keep doing it. I mean isn’t that the goal to connect to the soul so why do we persist in hindering that?
Carmel, your blogs are always so honest and open, I really enjoy reading them and they support me to be honest with myself too. This feels very true to me ‘Our food needs are very individual and we have to discern for ourselves what nourishes and what doesn’t.’ Reading this I can feel that there foods that I eat that would be considered healthy but that for me give me headaches or make me feel bloated or tired, so its great to be honest about these.
Yes I have always found that fascinating Carmel how having a stimulant like coffee, sugar, alcohol or cigarettes can make us feel relaxed when you have it. I can see the roller coaster of ride we can live in, being sensitive, feeling it all and then the tension, going for the fix to numb it which has to addictive qualities to it, the actual chemical addiction and then the relief factor of feeling what we are feeling. Just goes to show how important it is to understand energy and to be able to read what is going on, something that has been void of discussion until I meet Serge Benhayon.
It may not be banana sandwiches, but that conversation that can happen in my head is very similar where I might be thinking of the next fix of whatever all day – such a big distraction from what is actually happening in the day. The actual eating of whatever I might obsess about takes about 5 minutes, which is ridiculous compared to the weight its given in the day!
Isn’t it also about satisfying an individual need? When we crave food we’re still trapped in the bubble of small self, we literally block out all other matters of the world and focus only on satisfying ourselves. Of course it doesn’t end there but creates a hook of desire for more of the same. Being honest about where we are is a healthy place to be.
You make an interesting point Kehinde, that food cravings come from the individual, and that is the case for addictions of all kinds. When we are more aware of the bigger picture and how what we do influences all then it becomes easier to make different choices
I may just add – it is interesting how food is a much favoured topic of conversation, but developing awareness is not.
Let’s be playful then with the possibility that we will move on from an eatery or coffee shop being every second shop front to drop ins for developing, building and nourishing awareness instead.
Haha Yes Liane, well said. That is why we numb ourselves so well with food, and we prefer talking about how to numb our developing awareness with food than building it! Clever. Or not so clever?
Thank you for what you have brought to the table Carmel 😉 The relationship between food and awareness is one worthy of exploration. While there are no rules about what we should and should not eat, there is much for us to experiment with in terms of what foods are having what sort of affect on us. What is fascinating to observe, both in ourselves and in others, is that even though we know better than to reach for a certain food that will no doubt have an ill effect on us, we reach for it anyway regardless of the consequences already perceived. It is this addictive nature, along with the belligerence that drives it, that is deserved of our most astute attention for a study of it reveals that we do not have an issue with food, we have an issue with our awareness.
Yes, in some cases it is deliberately to dull our awareness because therein lies great power, not to dominate others but to read them energetically and to know the truth of what is going on at any time. Sometimes we would rather not know the truth of our situation because then we would have to express what we feel and there might well be a reaction back that we don’t feel ready to handle just yet. Having said that, if our clairsentience is also not dulled, we would know exactly what to say, feel the truth of our expression and read the reaction rather than get upset by it. Yes, it is definitely all about awareness and reading the energy in us and around us.
‘It felt like an empty void I could never quite fill….’ I can relate to this feeling Carmel and it makes sense why we can’t seem to fill this void with food because it wasn’t food that caused this emptiness, but it was our disconnection to our Soul. The only way to feel full again is to reconnect to our Soul and no food or anything in this world can do this for us except for our own willingness to directly reconnect to our Soul.
A point well worth pondering on, that it is our connection to Soul that we are missing, so our changing our movements might be more important than eating at any point in time.
Yes, I can relate to this too Richard and since embracing more self-love and self-acceptance it changes how I eat, what I eat and how I choose to look after my body. For me, that feeling of being full actually doesn’t come from food but it comes from my connection to my Soul. That fullness is not just in my stomach it is in my entire body, it is a fullness that is light and feels bigger than my physical body.
We think food blocks our awareness out but in reality we’re just kidding ourselves – the way we use it to just distract and delay is truly bananas.
Very funny Joseph and very true, our awareness is always there we are simply choosing to ignore it
It’s a great topic about awareness and the sensitivity of the body, and how we might dull our sensitivity to try to cope with what we don’t want to feel. Generally we just see food and diet as healthy or not healthy, and ourselves only as physical beings so this really expands the topic. We know that we can eat for comfort at times (emotional eating), and eating to dull our awareness is another facet to what can influence our eating patterns. For me I often do this by eating when I’m not hungry or overeating. Even too much of a food that’s good for me will affect my sensitivity.
Yes the amounts of food we eat is a very relevant point when it comes to awareness. Sometimes our bodies give us clear signals, I’ve recently had a day of overeating and that had led to heartburn, very painful and definitely a signal not to be ignored!
Its so true what you say here about ‘food hangovers’ Richard. I too have often felt this, and sometimes still do, and I havent had a drink of alcohol for going on ten years now. There is nothing else that I can put it down to other than a food I have eaten and the detrimental effect that certain foods have on my body, both physically and energetically.
That is so beautifully written Carmel; I do love your straight forward expression and your awareness. Yes, food has always been my thing, my drug of choice so to speak, and I can relate to so much of what you have shared here. Oftentimes I cannot stop myself and stuff the ‘unpleasant’ feelings – like sadness or an emptiness feeling, down with some particular food. But the other day I clocked how I felt that sadness and emptiness and the urge to stop myself from feeling them by eating something, or choosing to get busy. But I had some space to myself, stopped for a moment, so rather than heading to the fridge, or distracting with getting busy and bury the feelings, I allowed myself to feel them and have a good cry. This really felt honouring of myself, and it wasn’t as bad as I dreaded, and I felt lighter afterwards.
Yes stuffing the feelings down certainly make us feel heavier and allowing letting go, not surprisingly feels lighter. The tears needn’t last long, but they are an expression of truth and expressing truth always feels good in the body.
Our daily food choices are such a vital part of us staying in connection with our essences and allowing this, our body as you have shared Carmel, will always lets us no when we are over indulging in sugary foods especially.
Yes, I get a hangover type of result when I eat sugar. I don’t drink alcohol any more but as my body is more sensitive sugary fruit can have the same effect.
Well said, Fiona, and concur with what you say. The point of not to ‘judge our choices but observe and be open to learning from them’ is, I find, super important.
You introduce something here that many people may not be aware of – the food hangover. Many of us know about the alcohol hangover but the food hangover is very real. For me it can play out as headache, bloating, loose bowel movements, dark circles under my eyes, some nasal blockages and general lethargy.
Yes, our reactions to food are all different when I stopped drinking milk I stopped getting colds and runny nose, but when I eat cashew nuts my nose gets sniffy – they must presumably be very milky. It is always good to observe what our body feels like in its true state as opposed to the bloating or other effects that we try to ignore.
Carmel, thank you for your openness and honesty about the foods you choose to eat and why. I can very much relate what you are sharing in this article and your honesty supports me to be aware of why I choose to overeat and also to be more honest about the effects this has on my body and how I feel.
Condemning ourselves for eating something is as damaging for the body as whatever food it is that we have eaten. And depending on the food and the length of time that we flail around in self flagellation, potentially the condemnation is more harmful. What supports me is eating and then choosing my way back to moving soulfully as quickly as possible.
Hmmm. Have not eaten bananas in a while and bought some the other day. I always find it very interesting when I go shopping what extras I put in my trolley and why and it doesn’t matter if I try and convince myself not to buy A B or C, I still buy it. There is definitely no such thing as mind over matter for I see I have made the decision long before I am even aware of it.
“There is definitely no such thing as mind over matter for I see I have made the decision long before I am even aware of it.” When we truly evolved from an old pattern it is embodied and effortless, before this we fool ourselves to believe we’ve broken free, but are still in the same cycle.
Yes, when I look back I can see that decision comes from a much earlier choice and the banana thing just happens as a result of that earlier choice. Why am I exhausted needing sugar? Where along the line did I stop loving myself and deeply nurturing my body? Why do I feel the need for THAT particular food? There is much to explore with all our food choices once we stop beating ourselves up for eating something we know we ‘shouldn’t. Self judgement and self criticism is a form of self abuse and leads to more self abuse…
Carmel, fantastic, what you say here, you nail it fascinating isn’t it the so called intelligence of the mind that can say a food is ok to have when the body knows otherwise.
Wonderful Carmel I absolutely love your honesty!!!! I also love the following sentence: “Our food needs are very individual and we have to discern for ourselves what nourishes and what doesn’t” It showed our own responsibility to care for our body in a much deeper way and it is an invitation to be a bit more self-loving.
Thanks for sharing Carmel- it is true that everyone has a unique relationship with food – so something I eat to dull will be different to another’s journey. But the point is we know what food to go to in order to dull. We are very clever with going against our bodies and overriding the message of why we are trying to find food in the first place.
It shows just how precise our awareness is because, as you say, we know exactly which food (vibration) to go for
We think we do our body something great whilst eating something we are craving, when instead we put another burden on it by feeding it with sugar. The only part that gets satisfied is the mind, that wants stimulation over and over again.
If you crave food like that it does not work to deny yourself the banana or dates. First it does not change from your head and it is great to feel what it does to your body, instead of avoiding it by not eating it through discipline. And second : what were your movement ahead to that moment? The craving is only the peak of the iceberg. What we have chosen before is relevant and interesting.
I like what you are saying here Carmel that food choices are not about following a set of rules or one size fits all but feeling which foods support us and which do not which is a very personal thing.
And then joining the dots as to why we are craving that food – be that exhaustion, feeling bad about yourself, wanting a reward. Once we have tucked in, again its interesting to see what the after effects are… do we notice what happens to our body or awareness afterwards? With this approach we are open to learning, to getting the realisations about how we are living and what is actually going on in our lives.
Eating foods that don’t support you can also give you the perfect excuse to beat yourself up over it afterwards. And so a cycle of abuse and abuse starts and can keep itself going for quite some while. The thing that really supports me out is my choice to want to feel clear in my body, not only for myself but also for colleagues, clients etc.
Eating sugary things are the perfect way to get ourselves racy, less with ourselves and reading energy becomes a whole lot more difficult. When I find myself thinking about or looking for sugary things, which used to be a great addiction, I stop and check whether I am tired or what there is that I say no to. There is a stage where that is possible, where I can still catch myself. But further down the track I don’t feel that choice anymore and the movements to eat sweet things just take over.
Great blog, Carmel and very relatable.
I have tried copying what others were eating and leaving out of their diet as well, because I looked up to them and found the way they live their lives inspirational. But I am not them and my body is in a different place and communicates clearly what nourishes it and supports me to stay clear and feeling vital and what not.
Its interesting you note Carmel, how much of a greater awareness you have when you eat foods that harm you i.e. you feel dull to how you were feeling. “I could feel how much it actually dulled my ability to focus, to live as a connected human being with all my senses working in their full glory.” I have always looked at the perspective of eating to stay aware.. “Our food needs are very individual and we have to discern for ourselves what nourishes and what doesn’t.” Good to appreciate and thus accept which foods do not work for us.
Great blog Carmel – I used to be a ‘sugar-holic’ with food choices and know how highly addictive sugar is. ~Like the banana story – in my experience, eating one banana leads to another and then another. The pictures of bananas hang about in the mind waiting for the opportunity for another one!
Same her Stephanie, what a difference it is when we are hooked on sugar, what i also find now is that if I ‘push’ myself and my body to do more things that are not loving or supportive then I end up crazing something that i don’t normally rely on any more be it sugar or something else. So the food we eat is based on how we treat and care for ourselves.
To say that we have been interested in food, and that this fact has dominated the adult life is one thing. Yet, even if this is true, it is important to understand what have we used food for. This will also help to bring to the fore a more complete picture of our true interest.
I find the more I surrender to myself and settle deeply into just being me, the craving for food falls away.
I experience the same- for me it is not so much the craving, but how much I eat. The more I had a day in stillness and surrender, the less I want and tend to overeat.
Yep I’m in agreement too. I can swing from being really focused on food to it not even entering my head and although that may sound incredibly normal, I know that these two extremes have nothing whatsoever to do with hunger but everything to do with the depth of connection that I have with myself. Oh and also to do with if there is something that I don’t want to do, I tend to want to ‘soothe’ myself by eating whist doing a chore that I have procrastinated over.
I used to have a thing about almonds, if one super marker had run out I would go to a different one and I would eat about 2 packets a day despite getting severe stomach cramps the following day, it didn’t matter as long as I got my almond fix. I remember being asked, why don’t you just not buy them and my response was like, I’m addicted, it feels no different to wanting a cigarette.
It is so true the cravings we have and the constant thinking about where we can get that food can have many of the same hallmarks of other addictions.
‘Hanging out’ is ‘hanging out’ to the body, whether or not it’s for heroin or bananas.
I can really relate to what you are sharing here in using food to dull your awareness as that is what I do which is quite ironic seeing as another part of me is wanting to raise my awareness!
I know when I commit to why it is that I choose to eat foods that do not harm my body the easier it is.
Recently I found myself in that belligerent state as I was walking home exhausted from the previous couple of days. One part of me wanted to sleep but this other part was like “You WILL go home and eat jam” and sure enough I did. But I didn’t feel energised, the sugar didn’t give me that pick up I needed to continue with my day. I felt more heavy, more grumpy and more exhausted! the sugar did nothing to help lift the exhaustion I was feeling.
Feeling either tired or sorry for myself are perhaps my two biggest triggers to dive into a bowl of milky muesli.
What is interesting to observe here is that we often set ourselves up for the ‘reward’ (a particular food) by creating an adverse situation that makes us feel tired or sorry for ourselves.
There is so much more for us to know and understand about our food choices and we are fooling ourselves if we think it is about taste and having a good time. Underneath is a much more cunning scheme and deliberateness in our choices. As you share Carmel, we know exactly what to eat to not have to feel the tension or become more aware, and so it exposes us for the experts on vibration that we truly are.
We are masters in the art of ‘dullification’
To be willing and observe our behaviors with food and nominating them for what they are -addictions – is a great support in getting to know ourselves and how we are with our own evolution. I know the addiction very well and by learning about why and how I use food I am now no longer even needing to tell myself I like what I choose as at times I eat things I don’t even like (e.g. because they are way too sweet) but want them purely for the effect they have on me. Becoming aware and honest about this is the first step towards choosing more lovingly.
i could hardly believe it when I saw this blog because today I woke with a headache, a hang over sort of headache and guess what I did yesterday? I had two bananas in a smoothie and later some crackers that I discovered had inverted sugar in them – the thing is I haven’t eaten (except for a banana a few months ago) such things for years.. I did not know what inverted sugar was and found out that is a mix of sucrose and glucose…quite a hit for a body that is usually refined sugar free. I agree though the headache may be a consequence of the sugar but what led me to buy the bananas in the first place? I felt particularly good at the time and had gone into the shop for other items which I purchased and as I went up to the counter the reduced section caught my eye and there was a big bunch of bananas for 50p I thought of my neighbour and how he loves banana and what a good deal they were and turned to get them although I knew in that moment that I was not being absolutely honest and there was a part of me that was already wondering if I might have one myself and I did a double take but I still bought them and felt that stubbornness as I paid the smiling shop assistant. The crackers I had as a snack because since having work done on my teeth I find my fall back snack of seeds or seed crackers too crunchy and difficult to eat. Why not just appreciate this time when my body is asking for softer food and make up some healthy,easyto eat alternatives or even allow my body a rest from snacking altogether?!
“Our food needs are very individual and we have to discern for ourselves what nourishes and what doesn’t” – absolutely because no two bodies are the same, and we ourselves are not the same at each and every moment in our day, or the next day … and so naturally food consumption cannot be the same either.
I always say to people who ask my advice about diet that there is only one dietician we can trust, our own body. It is indeed very individual and in constant change. We could not keep up with this mentally and so learning to connect with our body and listen to what it is communicating with us is key to finding what is truly nourishing and needed for our own body in every day.
I never managed to stop eating food that was harming me by knowing it was bad for me. What made a huge difference was connecting to how great I felt when I did not dull or poison myself and then not wanting to lose that feeling and connection.
So true. It really doesn’t work to say ‘No’ to a momentum that I am already in, it’s much easier to confirm and say ‘More please’ to what I know to be supportive and amazing because I have felt it so already.
There is something about bananas that can make us go bananas. Often after you have eaten B1 you are tempted to have B2.
Hahaha…Thats very funny Nicola 🙂
Ha ha ha…Nicola, I love your sense of humour. I reckon someone must have noticed how crazy they can go if they’ve had one too many bananas because of the sugar levels to come up with the term ‘gone bananas’. It must have been back in the days when sugar only came in the natural form.
Yes we need to look at the whole picture with food not just if it’s low fat, low sugar or deemed healthy. Even the most healthy foods can dull our awareness if that’s what we are seeking. And that’s in the end than actually not healthy for the body.
Thank you for being so honest Carmel about food and how it can become an addiction. I had a friend who would talk about food all day if she could and as soon as she had had a meal she would be planning the next one. I never quite understood the fascination, but it makes sense if food is the thing we use to numb our feelings.
Carmel what I love in your sharing is how you raise the point that whatever choice we have has a consequence, so it all depends on what consequence we are willing to accept and if indeed we want a consequence that advances us forward and allows us that clarity you mention or one that keeps us where we are and requires more of the same to avoid feeling we are still where we were.
Awesome blog Carmel, deeply honest and very relatable. I understand that our addictions are only present because we are avoiding connecting to a greater level of awareness, love and intelligence. We can be addicted to pretty much anything but the fact that we have addictions is a sign that something in our body is in disharmony and it is linked to old hurts that have not been healed.
We can never stop being aware of what we are feeling but we are totally aware of what we need to digest or do in order to dull and numb ourselves so we are not fully in our awareness.
The habit of thinking we want something sweet to eat at the end of a meal can be a tricky addiction to break and it goes back to much earlier than the meal to when we are shopping and what we put in the trolley.
Addictive habits that we engage in that make us less, that we knowingly engage in be it shooting up drugs or a banana sandwich are on the same linear scale. As you have said, Carmel, overtime as our awareness increases our cravings will subside.
It’s a crazy thing but I have experienced exactly the same addictive intensity in a group of people preparing a meal and then eating it, as a group of people waiting whilst marijuana was being rolled and then smoked. It was an identical need for relief.
Food is probably one of the most popular ways to numb ourselves no matter where we are in our evolution. We can use food in a number of ways to distract ourselves and I feel we don’t realise the full extent of the harm food actually does to our body and senses. I now don’t beat myself up when I have eaten something I know does not support me and my body in that moment, I would rather eat it than try and control or discipline myself to not eat it. What matters most is finding out why I needed to have that particular food at that time – what was going on within and around me long before I felt the urge to walk through the pantry door?!
When it comes to dulling down how wonderful I am feeling or to pick me up when I’m ‘down’, food has been the greatest tool. In the past it was not the sort of food that was on the healthy list, like chocolate, ice cream and yes, banana sandwiches (with jam), and my body let me know everyday that it really couldn’t process what I was shoving into it. These days although my food selection is no longer in the unhealthy category I can still use what I do eat to dull me down or pick me up. So for me, it’s not so much about what I eat but why I eat it – a definite, but very valuable work in progress.
Same for me Ingrid. I never used notice how much I rely on food as a form of comfort until recently. I have a pretty healthy diet but if I eat healthy food in an unhealthy manner I might as well be eating junk food because the ill effects are pretty much the same. So, I am starting to be aware of the energy that drives me to eat, it is one that supports me to nourish my body or is it one that pushes me to dull my body?
Certain foods do indeed act like drugs and this becomes very apparent when we try not to have certain foods. It’s not just a case of easily saying ‘no’. We can obsess about the food until the pressure gets too much and we end up stuffing it in our mouths. It’s a fascinating topic.
I agree each one of us is different and we must listen to and know our own bodies. But also useful to discern the different messages we receive. Sometimes, between meals we can feel as if we’re hungry, but if we wait, the feeling often passes. I find carrying water and drinking it when on the move (or at home) supports my body more than eating out of habit or to fill an emptiness.
Carmel the focus that you bring to the effects of food on the body and our reason behind eating certain foods is greatly appreciated, as by and large we tend not to really delve into the reasons behind our food choices. Sure many people are aware of what is considered ‘healthy foods’ but most people don’t go into the deeper motivation behind why they put foods into their mouths. In fact most of us eat pretty unconsciously and considering how many times we put something into our mouths, that’s not great. The other thing, as you so rightly point out, is that many foods dull our awareness and so they work towards dulling our awareness as to why we’re eating them in the first place.
I can relate to what you share Carmel, having observed something similar in myself, although never tempted by ‘free from food’ as I sensed the trap offered many years ago. Constantly thinking about food and snacking on so-called healthy food when not hungry disconnects us from our true essence, we allow the mind and other forces to take us over. Curious to understand why we still fall back on this, rather than elevate ourselves to a different and more vital vibration. We often use food to distract us from how we truly feel. And yet this false appetite is never satisfied, we always want more. Consistency and constantly choosing love is the key and the moment we drop and make that one choice away from purposeful movements, we enter a vicious spiral cycle.
At time you may think what is driving me when we come across our addictions and in fact knowingly do something we know we do not want to do but just do it.
It is a fascinating thing about human behaviour that we have a tendency to go ahead and do things even when we know they are not good for us.
The body is very sensitive and you only come to the full understanding of this when you make the choice to stop dulling it by the substances you constantly put into it.
I agree Nico, and our body’s sensitivity is here to support us and when we listen it is a deeply loving choice.
In my experience the thoughts, energy and ideas we digest can be just as compulsive and dulling as any food, when they’re not true.
Interestingly, as I am refining the way I live, I have walked past the gluten free bread in the supermarket and felt no pull whatsoever. I have still eaten the occasional banana and dried apricot, but left the dates and gluten free bread alone. It is definitely not about willpower but being more self loving every day and gradually there is no need for foods that don’t nourish my body.
Eating and staying superbly aware of what is happening and how our awareness then changes is the only way to beat addictive food behaviours as, one day, we won’t choose those foods again.
By staying aware of how food affects our bodies is the best way, I have found, of eliminating what no longer supports. Like you, Carmel I also am belligerent at times when I want to dull or numb a feeing and will actively choose something to eat that I know will either bloat me, dull me or heighten my nervous system.
So true Gabriele, and that awareness can only come from our body, not anyone or anything from the outside saying yes or no to a certain food, drink or activity. Any changes from my mind have been an effort and have always failed as such but making changes because of what I have registered in my body are effortless and most times have been uneventful.
Thank you I can relate to that insight as I to have done the very same addictive cycle this morning. I also have been struggeling with food all my life and recently identified the same issue. I will now use the banana sandwich story to call out my behaviour and make me accountable. As I may have been able to deny my own Insight and trick myself. Your article calls my bluff and gives me a physical truth I can not ignore now.
So incredibly beautifully Carmel, I can relate so much to what you are sharing and it is very much like a best friend – the sugar – when you’re feeling something but not wanting to be aware of it. A best friend that makes you feel ‘good’ and takes the tension away as apposed to supporting a way of being and living that is tender and sweet bringing us to a deeper understanding of ourselves through our sensitivity.
Makes me wonder then what a best friend is or what we make a best friend to be. Someone who is constantly offering the banana sandwich so that our tension goes away or someone who offers tension simply by reflecting the loving choice we are yet to make?