Imagine living every day with the knowing that as you enter the twilight years of your life you will be cherished and cared for to the bone, by a community that will be there for you and with you until your parting breath.
Imagine knowing that when the time comes when you may be in need of 24/7 support, the nursing home you go to will not just be glitzy on the outside, with ‘cosy’ described on the brochure but rarely felt in the actual home itself. Imagine knowing that what is before you as you are close to parting from this life, is an ending that’s glorious, as you are surrounded by people who are your family through and through regardless of whether they’re a blood relation or not.
Imagine taking your very last breath in the knowing that in this lifetime you have felt what it is to live in brotherhood, and that it’s in the glorious warmth of brotherhood that you will one day again return to.
Pipe dream? Far from it. For the students of The Way of The Livingness the world over, this is how we care for our elders. It goes without saying, it goes without thinking. Care is in the essence of how we live, and in the essence of how we are with those who need our support, be it in illness, a passing problem or in the closing years of our lives.
The Way of The Livingness is re-defining what has been reduced today to a lucrative industry by the private health-care market, which is capitalising on how as a society we treat and regard our elderly and ultimately, ourselves. Care has all but been thrown out the window, jettisoned as the majority in the world today have succumbed to the longing for outer recognition and success. The fact that it’s only from a foundation of true care that we can then enrich all aspects of our lives and be truly successful, has been forgotten. The vacant, abandoned look in the eyes of the elderly who pass by, as they shrink away from life long before they pass over, is an indictment of the lack of quality of life we have allowed to be acceptable.
Respect and dignity are birthrights for all, from the day we are born to the day our eyes are closed for the very last time. So is love.
We are born in the bundle of love we innately are, and it is our natural right to remain in that love until the end of our days and beyond. Most in the world today live in the absence of remembering this fact, and death and dying are synonymous with the cold feeling of dread; for the vulnerability of the human body has nothing to fall back on and deeply rest in when there is no foundation of true care to hold it.
The Way of The Livingness is turning this sorry state around. To live in the knowing that as we reach our parting years we will be held in the warmth and care we innately deserve gives us the freedom to live every day in the joy we are meant to live in. We go about our lives in the knowing that true care underpins everything, and that it’s in this full embrace of ourselves that we then surround ourselves with love and true family until our dying breath.
By Katerina Nikolaidis, 41 years, Melbourne
Death and Dying – The Cycle of Life and Death
Death & Dying – A Taboo Topic or a Joyful, Normal Conversation?
The Quality of Mercy: A New Perspective on Aged Care
The Way of the Livingness is my Religion
In the cycle of life and lives to we enter and leave each life with the same wonder, love and cherishing?
I was working alongside a group of Universal Medicine students who choose to live in accordance to ‘The way of The Livingness’ and it was a magical experience for me. We all worked together as one unit there was laughter and chatting as we all got on with the task at hand there was no bossiness of it has to be done in a certain way, there were no personalities just a one unified group working with one purpose. My heart was over flowing with love for these people for the harmony we were in. It shows me that we can all live this way and that the day will come when what I experienced will be common place. I could clearly feel we were living the future now.
‘For the students of The Way of The Livingness the world over, this is how we care for our elders.’ And this is not just for elders but with people who are sick, having surgery and need to be looked after in the hospital or at home, for mothers to be who are expecting and of course once the little one is born. Making love and care part of everyday. I have seen this many times and also been part of support networks and the way a team works together to support someone. And the thing that i really noticed was just how easy, simple and natural it was. And with a team no one feels stressed or if they are taking on more than another because we are all there to support equally. I am and will always be a student of the Way of the Livingness and constantly learning for there is much to learn but you are right in that this way is turning the current and very sorry state of the world around ✨
When surrounding ourselves with love at any age we are prepared for every situation in life and death by the way our response is coming from a Livingness of love and not a reaction to what life can throw our way.
I agree with you Greg when we at last accept that we are surrounded by love that every breath we take is a breath of heaven then reaction falls away like water off a Ducks back. Nothing can touch the purity of love.
I work in care and if you asked anyone they would most likely say it is in a sorry state of affairs. When I bring care and love into the way I am with myself, I then take that to work with me and the difference is felt by all I work with, staff and service users alike.
‘Care is in the essence of how we live, and in the essence of how we are with those who need our support, be it in illness, a passing problem or in the closing years of our lives.’ It is possible to live the future now and the more I take care in essence of how I am with myself and with others, the more striking it is how normalised it is for most to live without it.
Love what you have shared Katerina, and maybe as we will get to passing-over the way we have lived, as this will pave the way for us passing in our sleep without any need for care as our Soul because of the Love we have lived will say you are complete this life time to return to heaven?
I volunteer and see many older people some of them do not have long in this world and I have had many interesting conversations about dying with them and two things stand out. One that many wish they had done more or said what was truly on their minds and not held back and two many are afraid of dying as it is not something that is discussed and so it is a fear of the unknown. So I do wonder why we hold back from this conversation is it because we have a lot of emotional attachment to the person dying? Is it possible that if we knew what happened as we passed over there would be less fear for the person dying and for those who are left behind?
Good call Katerina ‘Imagine taking your very last breath in the knowing that in this lifetime you have felt what it is to live in brotherhood, and that it’s in the glorious warmth of brotherhood that you will one day again return to.” For this is what is possible now.
Self care always starts with self, then when we have this as a foundation we can bring this to others, ‘ true care underpins everything, and that it’s in this full embrace of ourselves that we then surround ourselves with love and true family until our dying breath.’
“Respect and dignity are birthrights for all, from the day we are born to the day our eyes are closed for the very last time. So is love.” How different our world would be if we actually honoured these birthrights in each other without question.
Taking care of our elderly in this way is the most honouring thing we could do for them. And what a blessing, that they may know there is another way to pass over, and that it is possible to return again with this renewed understanding to begin their next life.
Maybe if these teachings are presented to our babies then when pass-over comes our Livingness will hold us in the glorious love that has been lived.
If we take reincarnation in consideration it is a very sad fact that many people pass over not connected with true love and care so that is then also the imprint they will come back with next life and so the cycle goes on. Imagine it being that we pass over knowing love to our bones then the imprint in our next life will be one of love too.
It really is extraordinary as to how many ageing people end up in care homes and are then left to live out their days in an environment that is mostly about function with little integrity or honouring of the people who are being cared for. To offer something different that brings a joy and respect, and true care to these people is surely something we are all worthy and deserving of.
It is so true, we all deserve to pass over with dignity and respect, however what I love about The Way of The Livingness principles is that it doesn’t stop there, in fact it gets taken to many levels beyond that and the absolute care, love and dedication in making sure the person is cared for and looked after by a community is absolutely extraordinary.
The thing about imagining is that it can create pictures, which in my experience usually lead to disappointment. So, maybe something to consider is the relationships that one has each and every day, and where these will lead to is an unknown except for their quality.
I look forward to the day where spending our final days/months and passing over with respect, dignity and love is part of our normal. And I know it is up to all of us to bring that to our lives now.
“Imagine knowing that what is before you as you are close to parting from this life, is an ending that’s glorious, as you are surrounded by people who are your family through and through regardless of whether they’re a blood relation or not.” This is indeed a beautiful and deeply honouring thing to imagine. Perhpaps one day we won’t have to inagine it as it will be true.
“Imagine taking your very last breath in the knowing that in this lifetime you have felt what it is to live in brotherhood, and that it’s in the glorious warmth of brotherhood that you will one day again return to.” The day I realised that this was possible I cried with appreciation, joy and the understanding that I had made the choices I had, to be blessed to now know this to be true.
The tragedy for so many older people currently is that they have given up on life and are waiting to die, some for many years, rather than recognising that we can have purpose in our lives until our last breath and we can all support our elders in this.
The feeling of brotherhood in any community is how they treat each other, particularly the more vulnerable among them.
I work in the care industry, not homes but in each clients own home and it’s as you’ve described Katerina. If there is no care for ourselves where ever we currently are in life then there will be no care for others at any stage in their life. Even if we think we are being caring for our loved ones it has to start with ourselves.
“To live in the knowing that as we reach our parting years we will be held in the warmth and care we innately deserve gives us the freedom to live every day in the joy we are meant to live in. ” If this were truly the case, our aged care system would be completley different to what it is today, as family relationships would become more honouring of each other.
We’ve seen what happens when we live each days as war, as a struggle to be overcome by pushing on. But what our body and heart would be like if we joyfully celebrated each moment is yet to be widely known. Why don’t we give it a go and find out?
I can’t wait to see a society that truly embraces aged care for what it can be, to support, respect and honor those in older age stay connected to their soul and inspire others until their last breath.
Connecting to everyone as if they are never going to be seen by you again so all you share is the decency and respect that you would bring to God then we would have a situation where we had no regrets and thus pass-over in a completely calm and relaxed state. And the same for those who are left behind we would understand that we have also completed with them by expressing all of our divine-ness so feeling the completion of that relationship.
Connecting to someone as if you might never see them again, committing to each moment as if it were our last.. if we were to live life like this, every moment of every day, imagine the depth of our conversations, the appreciation of what we have and what we are living, the richness of each moment. Do we choose this, or do we choose getting lost in our self-created problems and issues instead, being blind to the beauty within and surrounding us 24/7?
We have separated our lives so much in terms of what we do, work, hobbies, interests and family that we have broken many of the natural relationships that exist just from living in a community and the inter dependency of relationships that exist.
Building the bonds in a community feels so important then everyone would see it as their responsibility to care for all and brotherhood would expand.
For there to be a community that supports us to pass over is pretty awesome. There is very little support out there bar nursing homes, so to be able to come together as a society and care for the elderly is really a new way forward for how we can have purpose until our last breath.
We all can take responsibility into our old age and set a caring way of living from our early years that we carry to our passing-over and in doing so honouring those that support us in that passing. So we have fully enveloped a humble-appreciative-ness of our life and those who are part of our extra-ordinary-family in all we do then we are blessed by our own living and the Livingness of those who bring what ever is needed in our pass-over phase of life.
I love this – The vacant abandoned look in the eyes of the elderly is an indictment on the lack of quality we have allowed as acceptable.
And this can be turned around very quickly should we just allow some space to connect and feel the love that is there.
“Respect and dignity are birthrights for all, from the day we are born to the day our eyes are closed for the very last time. So is love.” What a different world we would live in if this were respected by everyone, for everyone.
Understanding reincarnation and all that this science is bringing to us why would we not ask others to be connected to their last breath and when we do stay connected life is never a drudgery but is a true blessing for all concerned.
It is so inspiring to know that we all have access to something that can truly support us as we get older, and that it is down to us and how we choose to take care of ourselves. I regualrly visit care homes and see the results of people who have not chosen to take true care of themselves, or who have become lonely in their old age. Anything we can do to support our younger generations to prevent these numbers from increasing can only be a good thing.
What a gold sentence you have rounded off with :
‘We go about our lives in the knowing that true care underpins everything, and that it’s in this full embrace of ourselves that we then surround ourselves with love and true family until our dying breath.’
This is exactly what we need to realize and claim back to be our normal day every-day life.
Thank you for bringing this back to our attention of what is possible and what we prefer to no longer continue.
The more we hold ourselves and each other in the truth of who we are the more we will have systems that support us rather than hinder us.
A powerful honouring of the fact that we are Souls first and our bodies are what allows us to be here. The age of our body does not change this fact or the right we have to be honored, cherished, cared for and deeply loved for no less than we would a new born. Yes, this is being live today and through The Way Of The Livingness it can be observed how this way of being and caring for each other is actually quite simple, natural and deeply confirming, loving and unifying.
“The Way of the Livingness is turning this sorry state around. To live in the knowing that as we reach our parting years we will be held in the warmth and care we innately deserve gives us the freedom to live every day in the joy we are meant to live in”. What a wonderful opportunity and gift this is, to embrace all that we have ever known within us and to live it in full before we pass over. A far cry from where so many people in residential care homes are today.
“We are born in the bundle of love we innately are, and it is our natural right to remain in that love until the end of our days and beyond.” I love what you have written here Katerina and I could feel the warm ripples of truth in your words flow throughout my body. This is definitely a truth that needs to be shared with all, from the very young to the very old, reminding them of the love they naturally are.
“Imagine living every day with the knowing that as you enter the twilight years of your life you will be cherished and cared for to the bone, by a community that will be there for you and with you until your parting breath.” Katerina, I imagine that this is what most of us would wish for, even those who would rather not admit it. To be supported and so deeply loved at the end of our life is true confirmaiton of who we are and what we have chosen to live up to that point.
As our physical body ages and becomes frail the being within doesn’t change.
I work in the aged care sector and sometimes wonder about the lives the elderly I care for have lived and if their situation is reflecting that back to them at that point. Some have the loving support of their families who have an active input in the care of their parents but others have no one, and their living conditions are very unsanitary and often clutter filled, along with a stubbornness to let things go even if it meant they have more room to move and live, and we have room to do our jobs more efficiently. The situations within the homes of the elderly are vast and varied, but I would think that most people would be shocked to see the truth of how some of them live and have lived for a long time prior to getting old and needing assistance.
The care of others at any time of our lives is a precious thing, but the care of another as we prepare to pass over is surely one of the most valuable things there can be.
A beautiful consideration for our elderly and a real level of care that is missing in society today that we can live and bring to our elder years for everyone to be appreciated and held in love in respectively .
We celebrate a baby being born into this world but we don’t celebrate when that same baby in its elder years passes on. We need to celebrate who we truly are and let go of the focus on race, age, material possessions, career etc. then each person is honoured and respected for the quality and expression they in truth bring to this world.
Why do we settle for anything less than love in our lives when love is who we are?
I have heard and seen up to 5 students who have passed over in the auspice of the Universal Medicine Aged Care model. Working beside the industry for a short term and being aware of tycoons preying on the susceptible old age selling them comfort and no quality where it is about money and not true care is disgusting. I know what quality I will die in and come back to and, for a low price.
How we live and care for ourselves, the depth of tenderness and honouring we have for our bodies will affect the level of care and support we receive when we need support.
We define life from a false way we have lived, pursuing a future solution when a very ancient and familiar loving way is there waiting for us to live – The Way of The Livingness. It’s time to cherish our lifetimes of wisdom and innocent sweetness. Thank you Katerina.
‘Respect and dignity are birthrights for all, from the day we are born to the day our eyes are closed for the very last time. So is love.” I absolutely love what you have stated here and agree 100%. Unfortunately, this is not the case for so many as they enter the last stages of their lives. But as those who are students of The Way of The Livingness are coming to know there is another way to live and to be cared for until our last breath and that unequivocally is the birth right for all.
Respect and Dignity is far from what many people are experiencing at all ages. The Way of the Livingness is such that it is a part of life not something that we take on board as we age. No matter the time of passing this is what is lived and offered to everyone.
We are living our future care now by how we care for ourselves everyday in every way. This is very worth considering in our day to day.
I was just reading your blog where you wrote the word “dread” in relation to death and dying and I noticed there is a d-e-a-d in dread. How come there is not a j-o-y in dying. We have completely bastardised and messed up the whole way we deal with passing over just as we have messed up pretty much every other aspect of life and then we wonder why we are in such a mess! As you say it is time to bring love back and reimprint all aspects of our life and especially our end of life which is a time of great importance and preparation for our next life – there is no death (other than of the body) and there need not be any dread.
There was a program on the BBC recently of a scheme where the elderly take in a housemate for a reduced rent here in London. It started because renting for students is so high and it also gives the elderly person someone to talk to. What transpired between the student and the elderly lady was a great friendship, and both of them benefitted in ways that they never imagined.
I love that Julie – it makes so much sense!
This is wonderful and so supportive for everyone – very worth considering thanks Julie.
This is a great idea Julie, and could support both people.
This is great to hear Julie – loneliness is a major problem for people in the way our society is structured, often encouraging more separation of people sat within four walls and connecting with very few people in their day .
So important to actually have this love in our lives in our final days or years, so many of our elderly do not experience this and it can be a very lonely and isolating time.
“Respect and dignity are birthrights for all, from the day we are born to the day our eyes are closed for the very last time. So is love.” How we view and treat elderly people in society and in the healthcare system nowadays is the opposite.
I agree Annelies, I am currently working with the elderly as a carer in their homes and the amount of time they spend on their own is shocking. Over Christmas I worked in a gated community, the houses are all uniquely designed, almost Disney like with character, very cute but inside these houses are all single people who are very lonely.
‘The vacant, abandoned look in the eyes of the elderly who pass by, as they shrink away from life long before they pass over, is an indictment of the lack of quality of life we have allowed to be acceptable.’ It is so telling what we have chosen when we look at the lack of quality in our schools and in our nursing homes. For our children and our elderly to not feel met is certainly something we need to place huge importance on and to look at this and not dismiss it as normal. The model of care you talk about, Katerina, is inspiring and is certainly the way forward.
‘The fact that it’s only from a foundation of true care that we can then enrich all aspects of our lives and be truly successful, has been forgotten’ And it’s not until we start living this true care that this statement becomes real.
It feels amazing to know that as we move into our older years, we have a community that honours and respects the beingness of a person to their last breath, celebrating and cherishing them for who they are and setting a foundation that will support them to come back in their path of evolution, back to soul.
I have been in situations recently that have completely exposed the great lack of true care in care homes and in hospitals. Quite shocking to realise it is more often about money rather than people.
The Way of The Livingness brings a completely different understanding of a depth of care that nurtures all equally so, starting with the innermost connection with ourselves and this naturally is there to share with others by reflection.
Gorgeous article Katerina! . . . ‘We are born in a bundle of love’ . . . love this and we should be able to die ‘in a bundle love.’
This beautiful image completes the cycle of care and love, guiding humanity on its path of return home
Getting older and dying are not just the end of one life, they are the preparation for the beginning of another life, our next life. And therefore, aged care, true care, is of utmost importance.
A beautiful and re assuring sharing Katerina. The Way of The Livingness is and will, into our future re awaken Brotherhood for the ages and all of humanity.
I am fortunate to have the understanding I do now with The Way of The Livingness. Before I came to this way of living I saw death and sometimes still do see death as a taboo subject and certainly one that is not joyful and worth looking forward to. I am coming to see this is the complete opposite of how death truly is and that there are so so many ideals and pictures we hold that value death in a completely opposite way to how it ought to truly be.
Imagine if we ALL cared for ourselves and each other from start to finish ie from before birth (conception) to pass over – that makes so much sense really it is a wonder that we don’t – why wouldn’t we?
As we all pass we should be supported and nourished by the solid warmth and care of love and respect, not the gradual shrinkage or withdrawal that allows one to simply wither away.
“Respect and dignity are birthrights for all, from the day we are born to the day our eyes are closed for the very last time. So is love.” Equality for all – from the day we are born right until our last breath. yet do we have this in our world? No not yet. Old people are treated very differently in society, Yet they have been net contributors to it throughout their lives. Let’s give them the respect, decency, dignity and love they – we all – deserve. For we too will be old one day.
“Imagine living every day with the knowing that as you enter the twilight years of your life you will be cherished and cared for to the bone, by a community that will be there for you and with you until your parting breath.” This is massive, I think the majority of the world live with a level of anxiousness about what might happen to them when they’re older – especially with all the reports in the news about how awful nursing homes are. We need to start caring for each other the way we deserved to be cared for.
Living in true community is living embracing all equally across our community with the love, care and honour of truth that we all rightly deserve. The power of living true community is possible through living these qualities for ourselves first. I have witnessed how this is not only possible but is being lived today by the students of The Way of The Livingness. This is our future, one we all belong to.
Some very powerful and poignant points you make Katerina, we have forsaken our God-given rights to decency, respect and LOVE for our elderly as you say, and all at the end of the day to those who see the opportunity to capitalise on a necessary industry of care. It is yet another example of how we as a society have accepted a bar set so low, that even these fundamental rights are jettisoned. The Way of the Livingness is re-writing our history, and offering a way forward that is achievable and accessible. It is the necessary way of the future.
We all deserve this level of loving care. Let’s start allowing it in ourselves first. Then it will become natural to share it in the same way with others and a new ‘normal’ will be possible in this field.
It’s pretty wonderful to know that as we age, we are not simply becoming less and less relevant and that we are an equal member of society and community until it is our time to pass over. The Way of the Livingness has definitely redefined for me what life is about from beginning to end and back again.
I love how the title talks about the glory of aged care, we have lost so much in getting caught up in the functionality of taking care of basic needs for the cheapest cost rather than looking after the whole person. It is inspiring that we now have examples of true aged care which involves the community around the elder whose needs are supported with loving care and respect. This frees others to commit to living a purposeful life knowing that support is available if the need arises.
When we don’t step up, we leave the spot vacant and when someone else steps up who we don’t like – for example a large corporation more about profit than people- and takes the space, we get outraged. But it is we who have left the space in the first place, that is where our attention should lie. The Way of the Livingness is claiming back that space and saying to humanity, this is how we should be looking after our elderly, loving them, respecting them and cherishing them. Gorgeous and powerfull article Katerina, thank you.
“Imagine living every day with the knowing that as you enter the twilight years of your life you will be cherished and cared for to the bone, by a community that will be there for you and with you until your parting breath.”. Yes I can imagine it, feel it and know that it is actually so very natural for me and for every other person in this world, to be supported so lovingly and respectfully during the last passage of this life. End of life care is not meant to be a big money-making venture but a honouring of all that each person is; a beautiful being that deserves to be respected in full right to their last breath.
” Foundation of true care that we can then enrich all aspects of our lives ” This is the basis of life the foundation of care we put in place for ourselves is what allows love to grow and develop to our dying day.
The Way of The Livingess allows us to feel that the level of care we provide ourselves never need to drop regardless of what comes our way in life, be it growing up, life stituations or the closing of our life. That our essence that deserves such care never changes, only expands and we can expand with it.
How extraordinarily different this would be, especially when one knows what happens in the industry now… how cherishing and honouring this all sounds
What you have expressed here Katerina is beautiful. I love how you emphasise that deep love and care throughout our entire lives is just so important;
“Imagine taking your very last breath in the knowing that in this lifetime you have felt what it is to live in brotherhood, and that it’s in the glorious warmth of brotherhood that you will one day again return to.”
“Respect and dignity are birthrights for all, from the day we are born to the day our eyes are closed for the very last time. So is love.” So very true Katerina though this is often not many people’s experience, many die lonely and in fear, regretting the life they have not lived.
True community supports a child in becoming an adult and then supporting that adult in their elder years so that they pass with a joy and lightness of heart knowing with out doubt they will be coming back in the quality they left in.
True community is always preparing the soil for the next generation.
True care is at the core of our being but are we willing to re-connect to this innate feeling that we are love and can support ourselves by caring and nurturing our bodies? Building this foundation is key other wise we hang on to the need of staying in this physical world of us not feeling our true purpose in life and die struggling without letting go of what is not true and this does not makes passing over the very loving process of completion that it can and should be.
Knowing true family is a real blessing as we can feel we are being held with such love and care until our last breath.
Having worked in aged care for many years I am well aware of the sad and lonely state that some people pass over in. It is a inditement of our society that we have enough money to send people to the moon and to spend millions on different projects yet our health care systems are failing.
To truly change we all need to take responsibility, for ourselves, the way we live and for those around us just like how is being shown by The Way of The Livingness.
What’s very interesting is that we are up in arms at a baby being neglected or left by themselves, yet we don’t bring that same awareness and concern to how our elderly are living and being cared for at home and in many aged care homes.
I like the way you have described passing over here as a continuation of how we have been living up until that point. And as such we can prepare for our passing over and the quality it will be in simply by addressing the quality of all our relationships now. As it is these relationships that will in effect carry us through to the next stage of our evolutionary cycles as we learn how to live as the truly deeply loving people that we all naturally are.
Most people’s normal way of living every day doesn’t have the warmth from within that then ignites every aspect of their lives. Our inner connection is at the base of absolutely everything – when we nurture this, we nurture our entire life and beyond, and so much more. It’s in the rekindling of the connection with ourselves that we feel the warmth of death itself, knowing it is a cycle within a cycle as we simply, gracefully circle around the sun again and again and again.
We can’t pretend death won’t happen, it will. And we can’t pretend that the pathway to death will be an independent one, it won’t. A community of support and love is the way forward for those passing, and this is what The Way of the Livingness offers.
‘We go about our lives in the knowing that true care underpins everything, and that it’s in this full embrace of ourselves that we then surround ourselves with love and true family until our dying breath.’ Absolutely Katerina, this then is such a strong support that holds us and sees us into the next time around, knowing of true brotherhood.
Surrounding ourselves with true family is far from the picture we may have, but it is always precisely what we need to keep evolving. Now that is love.
It is so sad to hear you say the ‘cold dread’ of death, because that is what I have found is one of the most prevalent feelings around death and dying. The fear of the unknown. If there is a way to make the end of our lives as full of love as the start of our lives then this should be something we investigate and nurture to ensure the model is replicable in its care and nurturing and then put into practice for all.
“Respect and dignity are birthrights for all, from the day we are born to the day our eyes are closed for the very last time. So is love.” Death, like birth, is a time when we are very vulnerable and often at the mercy of someone else’s decisions. How important is it that we organise ourselves to make sure that we get the most supportive team around us when preparing for our final breaths? And what a blessing to have such a team there as support – this alone means we can’t wait to come back again to do it all again as many times as is needed for us all.
What a gift to read this morning! I love the reality of this “We are born in the bundle of love we innately are, and it is our natural right to remain in that love until the end of our days and beyond. Most in the world today live in the absence of remembering this fact, and death and dying are synonymous with the cold feeling of dread;” I can really feel that this is what underpins the fear of passing over. It feels cold and empty. Yet when you describe the potential at the start of your blog it is full of love – just like our birth.
I am always deeply moved when I observe and feel the depth of care, honourg, responsibility and oneness reflected by those who choose The Way of The Livingness as their foundation. They provide a wonderful reflection how this level of love and support of one another can continue from birth right up to passing over. It is very possible and practical, it makes sense and in fact it is our most natural way of being.
Care of the elderly has seriously become all about money in the private sector and in the public sector for those that can’t afford the brochure style, well it seems a total mess with not enough funds. We do all deserve respect and dignity until our dying day.
Perhaps our fear of dying is derived from how we see elderly being treated and how painful, slow and disconnected the process can be. So, it’s not dying itself, but the process leading up the that point in our evolution. Also, the way we live equates to how we die, and in the state of the world now with people living in conflict and irresponsibility with themselves and others, it makes sense that we fear having to be accountable for those choices in death.
Katerina, this is beautiful, ‘We are born in the bundle of love we innately are, and it is our natural right to remain in that love until the end of our days and beyond.’
Reading this I can feel how we do not care for, cherish and honour ourselves and others as we age and pass over in the way that we do for a baby or young child. I can feel that there is a giving up, that its ‘too late’ or not worth the time to deeply care for elders before passing, when actually it feels natural and true for the love, care and nurturing to be there until we pass over as well as when we are born.
This is surely the sign of a vital and evolving community, to care for all with the respect that one would always wish for oneself, through all of life’s stages.
We are all worth to be deeply cared and loved for and your article Katerina makes us all feel the love and care from the Way of the Livingness where care and love is essential in our everyday lives.
“Respect and dignity are birthrights for all, from the day we are born to the day our eyes are closed for the very last time.” The Way of The Livingness offers us a way to live where we can appreciate ourselves deeply so to appreciate the wisdom of our elders and offer them the true care and respect they deserve.
I love how you bring it all back to a deep care that is so very important throughout our entire life. There is no moment in our life where we do not deserve this deep love and care.
Me too Esther… It is very empowering to know that we have ultimate discretion in how we live and the choices we make. It makes sense for our lived life to mould how we die and brings the responsibility back into our own hands.
What an amazing model there is that can be shared with the world. I have family members who are fragile, and part of the acceptance of their passing is because I know there is endless love and support around them as they start to pass over. Wow what an opportunity this is – and even to be able to talk about passing over as a family before it happens, and start to express how we want to go, how we want to be cared for – this is unheard of and changes the whole dynamic of death and what it means to people.
For in fact it is just another part of life.
Conventional models of social care informed by ‘quality standards’ are set low and are cause for concern. Elder care training emphasises health and safety, food hygiene, safeguarding, infection control, moving and handling, all important in their own right, but often leads to a functional approach to care. What is missing is true care of the person and not ‘person-centred’ care. Rarely is the well-being of the ‘whole’ person explored and responded to. Neither is it fully understood how the well-being of carers impacts on the quality of care given. True care supports another without conditions or boundaries as an equal, lovingly, tenderly and with compassion. Universal Medicine’s model of elder care sets a new marker of how communities can come together to support each other through illness and elders in their final years.
Goodness it makes me want to go into aged care. I find it hard to consider this level of love is not our normal and there are people who pass over not being held in the love they were born into. You are quite right – person centred care which is what we talk about as the ultimate model now, is missing the importance of the level of care that is normal for the practitioner to then pass on. True care is not functional care.