Imagine living every day with the knowing that as you enter the twilight years of your life you will be cherished and cared for to the bone, by a community that will be there for you and with you until your parting breath.
Imagine knowing that when the time comes when you may be in need of 24/7 support, the nursing home you go to will not just be glitzy on the outside, with ‘cosy’ described on the brochure but rarely felt in the actual home itself. Imagine knowing that what is before you as you are close to parting from this life, is an ending that’s glorious, as you are surrounded by people who are your family through and through regardless of whether they’re a blood relation or not.
Imagine taking your very last breath in the knowing that in this lifetime you have felt what it is to live in brotherhood, and that it’s in the glorious warmth of brotherhood that you will one day again return to.
Pipe dream? Far from it. For the students of The Way of The Livingness the world over, this is how we care for our elders. It goes without saying, it goes without thinking. Care is in the essence of how we live, and in the essence of how we are with those who need our support, be it in illness, a passing problem or in the closing years of our lives.
The Way of The Livingness is re-defining what has been reduced today to a lucrative industry by the private health-care market, which is capitalising on how as a society we treat and regard our elderly and ultimately, ourselves. Care has all but been thrown out the window, jettisoned as the majority in the world today have succumbed to the longing for outer recognition and success. The fact that it’s only from a foundation of true care that we can then enrich all aspects of our lives and be truly successful, has been forgotten. The vacant, abandoned look in the eyes of the elderly who pass by, as they shrink away from life long before they pass over, is an indictment of the lack of quality of life we have allowed to be acceptable.
Respect and dignity are birthrights for all, from the day we are born to the day our eyes are closed for the very last time. So is love.
We are born in the bundle of love we innately are, and it is our natural right to remain in that love until the end of our days and beyond. Most in the world today live in the absence of remembering this fact, and death and dying are synonymous with the cold feeling of dread; for the vulnerability of the human body has nothing to fall back on and deeply rest in when there is no foundation of true care to hold it.
The Way of The Livingness is turning this sorry state around. To live in the knowing that as we reach our parting years we will be held in the warmth and care we innately deserve gives us the freedom to live every day in the joy we are meant to live in. We go about our lives in the knowing that true care underpins everything, and that it’s in this full embrace of ourselves that we then surround ourselves with love and true family until our dying breath.
By Katerina Nikolaidis, 41 years, Melbourne
Further Reading:
Death and Dying – The Cycle of Life and Death
Death & Dying – A Taboo Topic or a Joyful, Normal Conversation?
The Quality of Mercy: A New Perspective on Aged Care
The Way of the Livingness is my Religion
578 Comments
The tragedy for so many older people currently is that they have given up on life and are waiting to die, some for many years, rather than recognising that we can have purpose in our lives until our last breath and we can all support our elders in this.
The feeling of brotherhood in any community is how they treat each other, particularly the more vulnerable among them.
I work in the care industry, not homes but in each clients own home and it’s as you’ve described Katerina. If there is no care for ourselves where ever we currently are in life then there will be no care for others at any stage in their life. Even if we think we are being caring for our loved ones it has to start with ourselves.
“To live in the knowing that as we reach our parting years we will be held in the warmth and care we innately deserve gives us the freedom to live every day in the joy we are meant to live in. ” If this were truly the case, our aged care system would be completley different to what it is today, as family relationships would become more honouring of each other.
We’ve seen what happens when we live each days as war, as a struggle to be overcome by pushing on. But what our body and heart would be like if we joyfully celebrated each moment is yet to be widely known. Why don’t we give it a go and find out?
I can’t wait to see a society that truly embraces aged care for what it can be, to support, respect and honor those in older age stay connected to their soul and inspire others until their last breath.
Connecting to everyone as if they are never going to be seen by you again so all you share is the decency and respect that you would bring to God then we would have a situation where we had no regrets and thus pass-over in a completely calm and relaxed state. And the same for those who are left behind we would understand that we have also completed with them by expressing all of our divine-ness so feeling the completion of that relationship.
We have separated our lives so much in terms of what we do, work, hobbies, interests and family that we have broken many of the natural relationships that exist just from living in a community and the inter dependency of relationships that exist.
Building the bonds in a community feels so important then everyone would see it as their responsibility to care for all and brotherhood would expand.
For there to be a community that supports us to pass over is pretty awesome. There is very little support out there bar nursing homes, so to be able to come together as a society and care for the elderly is really a new way forward for how we can have purpose until our last breath.
We all can take responsibility into our old age and set a caring way of living from our early years that we carry to our passing-over and in doing so honouring those that support us in that passing. So we have fully enveloped a humble-appreciative-ness of our life and those who are part of our extra-ordinary-family in all we do then we are blessed by our own living and the Livingness of those who bring what ever is needed in our pass-over phase of life.
I love this – The vacant abandoned look in the eyes of the elderly is an indictment on the lack of quality we have allowed as acceptable.
And this can be turned around very quickly should we just allow some space to connect and feel the love that is there.
“Respect and dignity are birthrights for all, from the day we are born to the day our eyes are closed for the very last time. So is love.” What a different world we would live in if this were respected by everyone, for everyone.
Understanding reincarnation and all that this science is bringing to us why would we not ask others to be connected to their last breath and when we do stay connected life is never a drudgery but is a true blessing for all concerned.
It is so inspiring to know that we all have access to something that can truly support us as we get older, and that it is down to us and how we choose to take care of ourselves. I regualrly visit care homes and see the results of people who have not chosen to take true care of themselves, or who have become lonely in their old age. Anything we can do to support our younger generations to prevent these numbers from increasing can only be a good thing.
What a gold sentence you have rounded off with :
‘We go about our lives in the knowing that true care underpins everything, and that it’s in this full embrace of ourselves that we then surround ourselves with love and true family until our dying breath.’
This is exactly what we need to realize and claim back to be our normal day every-day life.
Thank you for bringing this back to our attention of what is possible and what we prefer to no longer continue.
If we start to make everything about the all rather than about our little selves, anything is possible.
The more we hold ourselves and each other in the truth of who we are the more we will have systems that support us rather than hinder us.
A powerful honouring of the fact that we are Souls first and our bodies are what allows us to be here. The age of our body does not change this fact or the right we have to be honored, cherished, cared for and deeply loved for no less than we would a new born. Yes, this is being live today and through The Way Of The Livingness it can be observed how this way of being and caring for each other is actually quite simple, natural and deeply confirming, loving and unifying.
“The Way of the Livingness is turning this sorry state around. To live in the knowing that as we reach our parting years we will be held in the warmth and care we innately deserve gives us the freedom to live every day in the joy we are meant to live in”. What a wonderful opportunity and gift this is, to embrace all that we have ever known within us and to live it in full before we pass over. A far cry from where so many people in residential care homes are today.
Residential care homes on the whole, apart from a few that are lovingly founded, are an indictment on our self based loveless society.
“We are born in the bundle of love we innately are, and it is our natural right to remain in that love until the end of our days and beyond.” I love what you have written here Katerina and I could feel the warm ripples of truth in your words flow throughout my body. This is definitely a truth that needs to be shared with all, from the very young to the very old, reminding them of the love they naturally are.
“Imagine living every day with the knowing that as you enter the twilight years of your life you will be cherished and cared for to the bone, by a community that will be there for you and with you until your parting breath.” Katerina, I imagine that this is what most of us would wish for, even those who would rather not admit it. To be supported and so deeply loved at the end of our life is true confirmaiton of who we are and what we have chosen to live up to that point.
As our physical body ages and becomes frail the being within doesn’t change.
I work in the aged care sector and sometimes wonder about the lives the elderly I care for have lived and if their situation is reflecting that back to them at that point. Some have the loving support of their families who have an active input in the care of their parents but others have no one, and their living conditions are very unsanitary and often clutter filled, along with a stubbornness to let things go even if it meant they have more room to move and live, and we have room to do our jobs more efficiently. The situations within the homes of the elderly are vast and varied, but I would think that most people would be shocked to see the truth of how some of them live and have lived for a long time prior to getting old and needing assistance.
The care of others at any time of our lives is a precious thing, but the care of another as we prepare to pass over is surely one of the most valuable things there can be.
A beautiful consideration for our elderly and a real level of care that is missing in society today that we can live and bring to our elder years for everyone to be appreciated and held in love in respectively .
We celebrate a baby being born into this world but we don’t celebrate when that same baby in its elder years passes on. We need to celebrate who we truly are and let go of the focus on race, age, material possessions, career etc. then each person is honoured and respected for the quality and expression they in truth bring to this world.
Why do we settle for anything less than love in our lives when love is who we are?
I have heard and seen up to 5 students who have passed over in the auspice of the Universal Medicine Aged Care model. Working beside the industry for a short term and being aware of tycoons preying on the susceptible old age selling them comfort and no quality where it is about money and not true care is disgusting. I know what quality I will die in and come back to and, for a low price.
How we live and care for ourselves, the depth of tenderness and honouring we have for our bodies will affect the level of care and support we receive when we need support.
We define life from a false way we have lived, pursuing a future solution when a very ancient and familiar loving way is there waiting for us to live – The Way of The Livingness. It’s time to cherish our lifetimes of wisdom and innocent sweetness. Thank you Katerina.
‘Respect and dignity are birthrights for all, from the day we are born to the day our eyes are closed for the very last time. So is love.” I absolutely love what you have stated here and agree 100%. Unfortunately, this is not the case for so many as they enter the last stages of their lives. But as those who are students of The Way of The Livingness are coming to know there is another way to live and to be cared for until our last breath and that unequivocally is the birth right for all.
Respect and Dignity is far from what many people are experiencing at all ages. The Way of the Livingness is such that it is a part of life not something that we take on board as we age. No matter the time of passing this is what is lived and offered to everyone.
We are living our future care now by how we care for ourselves everyday in every way. This is very worth considering in our day to day.
I was just reading your blog where you wrote the word “dread” in relation to death and dying and I noticed there is a d-e-a-d in dread. How come there is not a j-o-y in dying. We have completely bastardised and messed up the whole way we deal with passing over just as we have messed up pretty much every other aspect of life and then we wonder why we are in such a mess! As you say it is time to bring love back and reimprint all aspects of our life and especially our end of life which is a time of great importance and preparation for our next life – there is no death (other than of the body) and there need not be any dread.
There was a program on the BBC recently of a scheme where the elderly take in a housemate for a reduced rent here in London. It started because renting for students is so high and it also gives the elderly person someone to talk to. What transpired between the student and the elderly lady was a great friendship, and both of them benefitted in ways that they never imagined.
I love that Julie – it makes so much sense!
This is wonderful and so supportive for everyone – very worth considering thanks Julie.
This is a great idea Julie, and could support both people.
This is great to hear Julie – loneliness is a major problem for people in the way our society is structured, often encouraging more separation of people sat within four walls and connecting with very few people in their day .