A little over 2000 years ago, a baby boy was born. One version of his story presents how this baby boy, in spite of his humble birth, was visited by a host of people all bearing him gifts: Wise Men, shepherds, possibly even angels. The shepherds brought lambs, the angels, their adoration and the Wise Men brought gold, frankincense and myrrh.
Perhaps a more philosophical reading of the latter gesture indicates a greater significance in its symbolic meaning – a conferring upon the baby of the potential for, or confirmation of, his own inner connection to Love, Wisdom and Divine Intelligence.
Either way we look at it, this baby boy was celebrated at his birth in a way that befits the birth of a Son of God and was feted with the qualities one would rightly assign to such a being. This baby boy later lived and shared these qualities with the world and eventually his life became the cornerstone of one of the current institutionalised religions in our world, Christianity, named after Jesus the Christ.
Notwithstanding that several interpretations have been overlaid upon the life of Jesus over the years, it can assuredly be said that his life did fulfil the promise of those ‘gifts’ conferred upon him, or confirmed as being within him at his birth.
In our current times, 353,000 babies are born each and every day, with a little over half of these babies being boys (1). Hence, there are over 176,500 baby boys born daily. This equates to over 65 million baby boys born every single year.
It is surely worth considering what physical gifts and/or qualities we bring to them. How do we welcome them into this world? What are the first imprints they receive, not just from their immediate, close family, but from all of us?
In the more affluent societies, most if not all babies are ‘showered’ with physical gifts – toys, nappies, engraved cups and spoons, greetings cards to welcome the new baby and for boys, largely blue items of clothing. These baby boys seem to ‘have it all’ when compared to their peers in less affluent countries, who are born into poverty, sickness, war and conflict. On one level they are most certainly more fortunate. However, what energy precisely comes with these packages of ‘blue’ based gifts, qualities, beliefs and expectations? In what quality of energy do we collectively welcome baby boys into this world?
Based on personal experience and observation, what I see is that from the moment the baby takes his first physical breath, the process of imprinting involves the imposition of some very weighty ideals, beliefs and pictures, which severely reduce and restrict his innate expression.
As a child is born, there is a moment of absolute grace where those present behold the new life in a genuine sense of awe and wonder.
Shortly thereafter, he is also greeted by the often heavy expectations of his immediate and extended family, who are themselves the subjects of the same societally dictated concepts about what it is to be a boy and what it is to be a man; concepts that are then projected onto the physically vulnerable, newborn baby.
The first conversations are often about the baby’s physicality. Does he have long legs? He’s going to be a runner. Is his build more stocky? A lifetime of rugby ahead for him! Does he clench his fists? Likely to be a boxer. It is not uncommon for families to drape their newborns in the colours of their favourite sporting team from the moment of birth. Others discuss and anticipate what career the child will take up later in life – will he be a carpenter, a doctor, a musician, an entrepreneur who will uphold the family name, make money, be a success? Much of this occurs as the child sleeps and ostensibly without any awareness on the part of the extended family of how it affects him, for good or for ill.
In some hospitals there is an anecdotal saying that when there are more boys born than girls, it presages the advent of war. Globally, there are always more boys than girls born – the ratio is 105:100 (2) Are we then implying that we are always going to be at war and do such beliefs endorse the tough, competitive, even aggressive image of what it means to be a man?
Such impositions are everywhere. I once mentioned to a friend that her newborn was distressed by the noise and the energy of the TV. Her reply was that she had observed the same thing, mentioned it to the medical staff and was advised that the baby, who was a week old, needed to get used to it.
Part of the mix can also be the emotional needs of the mother. I have often heard mums refer to their newborn sons as ‘my little man,’ and observed how the baby can at times be assigned the role of fulfilling mum’s need to feel needed.
Do any of these imprints support the baby boy to connect with what he innately is? Or do they undermine it?
Is it possible that the baby boy born a little over 2000 years ago came into a family who themselves lived in a way that honoured the qualities of tenderness, inner connection, Soul, Love, Wisdom and Divine Intelligence? Did his teachers, elders and other members of his community also live thus and so nurtured the baby boy to unfold his divine potential, clearing the path for him so that he knew how to clear the path for so many others?
We are none of us born into a vacuum and naturally look to others to reflect and to confirm who we are. Especially as children, as newborns, we need to be nurtured in a manner that supports our unfolding development of our inner qualities. However, is it the case that we can only do this for our baby boys, for all of our children, once we have offered to, and unfolded this, for ourselves?
Does the quality of our welcome for our newborns reside within the quality we live and hold for ourselves, how we cherish and truly value ourselves?
Do we need to be Soul-connected ourselves to truly welcome a Soul-connected being coming into the physical body in a way that confirms its absolute divinity? I feel that we do and that it is only then that we can move on from imposing our collectively held ideals, pictures, concepts and beliefs to expressing a true welcome from the inner-heart like:
Dear little child of mine
May the rays of Heaven shine
May you know just how Divine
All the wonders you bring to our lives
As you live and as you grow
May you forever always know
How grand and special you are
Bright as the light of a star
Dear little child of mine.
(Michael Benhayon GM Records)
Does not every child, every baby boy, deserve to be welcomed in this way, honoured in the simplicity of all that he is? And is this the only gift he truly ever needs, confirmed and lived daily by all those around him?
Permission from Michael Benhayon for the use of the Little Child of Mine lyric at the end of this blog.
By Coleen
References:
- How Many Babies Are Born Each Day? (n.d.). Retrieved August 04, 2017, from http://www.theworldcounts.com/stories/How-Many-Babies-Are-Born-Each-Day
- Sex Ratio. (n.d.). Retrieved August 04, 2017, from http://www.searo.who.int/entity/health_situation_trends/data/chi/sex-ratio/en/
Further Reading:
“Boys will be Boys”…I Don’t Think So
Men – Are we set up to fail?
Real men don’t cry
Loving and cherishing ourselves for who we are inspires us to love and cherish all others equally.
What a great Blog Colleen, as we can all react to what is going on in the world, and we also have the opportunity to make more Loving choices to deliver our-selves from the controlling fear mongering institutions that want to belittle our essences.
It is important to reflect on what quality of energy do we welcome baby boys, and girls, into the world, ‘Does the quality of our welcome for our newborns reside within the quality we live and hold for ourselves, how we cherish and truly value ourselves?’
What a gorgeous and much needed blog, Coleen. As I reflect on its content, although for the most part I did not raise my son in such all-encompassing, unimposing ways, I know that it is never too late to start. As I am re-raising myself with the honouring and simplicity of all that I am so too am I embracing my son equally.
Brigette, I agree firstly we need to re-raise ourselves with an honouring, simplicity and grace. Only then can we not just embrace our children but all of humanity to show that we do not need to impose on each other ideals and beliefs which do not belong to us in the first place but are sourced from a consciousness we are as yet not aware of.
What beautiful lyrics by Michael Benhayon… to let our children know this from a tender age right on through adulthood and to hold them in love no matter what – to take responsibility for the energy we take on and to keep coming back to the truth and letting them see a reflection of what is possible – that is what supports them growing up – our unwavering love and integrity.
Yes, I love this song from Michael Benhayon, very beautiful.
To be brought up in the knowing you are a divine being, and to be cherished for those qualities – that is our future.
I received an email recently and the love that I felt that was beholding me was something I hadn’t felt for a long time it was such a beautiful stop moment for me just to allow myself to feel the absolute grace the email was sent with. I cannot wait for humanity to feel and connect to this depth and quality of love too. As you say Sarah for us all to cherish ourselves for the divine beings we are and that this is our future that we can live now.
Thank you Coleen feeling the responsibility we all have for the quality we choose to live in and how this is reflected to babies as they enter the world and are so often faced with suffocating ideals and beliefs that do not honour their innate tenderness.
“I have often heard mums refer to their newborn sons as ‘my little man,’ and observed how the baby can at times be assigned the role of fulfilling mum’s need to feel needed”. I have seen this in other mums and myself. We impose a lot of need on our sons to be the man that other adult men have failed to be. This becomes a trade-off where mums get their emotional needs met and in exchange pander and compromise on their standards.
Having just had a baby boy it is a joy to be surrounded by people who connect to the quality he brings and not his future roles. He is so very still, and this is what we are deeply appreciating at the moment, not what he does but who he is – a different way of bringing in babies into the world to support them in who they are first.
“As you live and as you grow
May you forever always know
How grand and special you are”
Michael Benhayon
Every child, every baby boy or girl deserves to be welcomed with such love, so so precious are our little ones – its our responsibility as adults to not impose but to allow them to be all they are.
Very beautifully expressed Sam. When I first heard this song by Michael Benhayon, I cried as I felt the same, that every child deserves to be welcomed with such love. But in reality, this is not the case. This song confirms how deeply precious we all are and every single one of us is worth celebrating.
Chan and Sam we can agree that the words that Micheal Benhayon wrote deeply confirm how precious we all are and the song serves as a reminder that every single person deserves to be held in such love and just how wayward we have become that this isn’t our reality at present.
Cherish ourselves and we will be able to cherish every child that is born.
This is the key Elizabeth, and I agree, we must first cherish ourselves and then we are able to cherish every child and adult in our life. When one child in this world is not cherished or adored it impacts on us all and this highlights how deeply connected we all are. One action and one choice of one person actually affect the rest of humanity.
It is true, every child deserves the honouring, the love, that indeed surrounds us all at all times
Just imagine if every child was sung the exquisite lyrics to this song over and over again as they grew. Life certainly would change immeasurably simply because every child was being honoured for the divine soul they are, the unique expression they are here to bring to the world and then supported to live it
I love this song Ingrid, when I listen to it I feel absolutely adored and loved for who I am. This song is for everyone and it is a blessing for humanity to have this easily available to us all.
We have all these ideals and beliefs of how to toughen up and make boys into strong men but in fact, the way we treat our boys only serves to make them weaker, not stronger. This is evident by the number of men that suicide each year as they are unable to cope with the expectations placed on them and are indeed very sensitive.
Julie now there is a can of worms that you have just opened, why is it that so many men suicide? Society does not want to go there to really delve into why this is happening and the men are getting younger and younger – so some this isn’t right about the way we are raising them or the females for that matter. Society is totally out of kilter and yet we just carry on regardless, why? What is it we don’t want to look at or face?
Beautiful Coleen and a powerful testament to the truth that in honoring the essence of who we are at birth (even before), a son of God no less, and foster this knowingness within every child as they develop and grow we would have living amongst us the Godliness that is rightfully there to live and be inspired to live more of. To empower a child to learn to live all that they multi-dimensionally are is to empower ourselves and all of humanity, as each child and each generation serve to continue to pull us up, to inspire us all evolve in order to live more of the divinity we are here to live.
If we meet every baby, boy or girl in the grandness that they are, knowing we are that too, how would the world look like?
Beautiful Coleen – it’s like as men we need to ‘re-greet’ and know ourselves as delicate bundles of joy – otherwise we tend to develop a heap of protective behaviours and beliefs – that’s how sweet and precious we are.
This is so gorgeous Joseph and as women we need to reflect to men and boys that it is safe and so much needed to embrace their innate sweetness.
When we allow our baby boys to unfold their inner qualities instead of learning them certain behaviours we think a boy or a man needs to have because it will help them to live in the harsh societies we live in, we are missing a very important thing. The thing that the delicacy and tenderness that is inherent in a boy or a man, when lived in full, has the power to make an end to all the harshness in society we try to protect then from.
A great question for us to reflect on, ‘ Does the quality of our welcome for our newborns reside within the quality we live and hold for ourselves, how we cherish and truly value ourselves?‘
Imagine a life born without the imposition of beliefs and ideals we place on each other, from young and through all of life? Simply allowed to ‘be’ and celebrated for who we naturally are.
It is significant that we have such stories such as the gifts of the 3 wise men that deeply confirm and honour the greatest qualities within humanity. This shows that we know, recognise and appreciate such qualities. It would be great if we all start confirming this in one another right from the beginning as well as endeavouring to live it ourselves and not keep it reserved for just a few ‘special’ ones.
I was thinking the other day how much we are moulded from day one by our parents, culture, religion, etc and how much influence these outside things have in how we turn out as people. If we were just left to express the love we come through as and supported with love, without all the ideals and beliefs thrust upon us I expect life would be quite clear sailing with less storms and far more progress back to where we are heading.
There are so many ideals and beliefs about how to be as a man in this world but none of these are honouring the true quality men can bring to this world other than the being hard, tough and the readiness to go to war, these ideals and beliefs are preaching.
We seem to pigeonhole what a boy and girl is – to dress them, talk to them, raise them in certain ways that relate to their sex rather than seeing them as a soul and a human being first. This blog highlights how we use separation at such a young age – which feeds into the bigger picture of separation in our world.
Beautiful Coleen,sweet as ever, and yes indeed that is what we all need from a very young age. To be allowed to be all that we naturally are made off, no added flavours. We need to stop opposing ideals, beliefs and images on our kids and let them be instead !
Is it time for a change in that as soon as a baby is born male or female it seems to me we incarcerate them into the cage we call society they are bombarded with ideals and beliefs until they reach saturation point and can no longer remember who they truly are. Is it possible to love and adore our children just for being those bright shinning stars and instead of trying to put their fire out we support them to burn more brightly we as adults get to feel their glory and may be just start to remember we were once just as innocent and full of life.
So many ideals and beliefs we can smother children with or we can appreciate their preciousness and honour that allowing ourselves to become more precious with ourselves also.
It is time for us to be more aware and responsible in how we live and the affect this has on others, instead of imposing on them, ‘the process of imprinting involves the imposition of some very weighty ideals, beliefs and pictures, which severely reduce and restrict his innate expression.’
It is interesting to observe how we can place expectations or impositions onto children without actively being aware that we are even doing this. If we have any sort of picture of something we want for another this then comes with an imposition and doesn’t give them the full freedom to express.
A gorgeous summation in how we can appreciate and confirm someone’s innate qualities by simply allowing them to be just as divinely delicate and tender as they are the day they were born. Thank you Coleen.
The concluding paragraph speaks volumes.
The best welcoming any child can receive is to be honoured in the simplicity of all that they are and all children deserve to be ongoingly related to as such by all those around them.
In fact anything less in my eyes is abuse.
This blog is excellent in that it shows to me how all babies are born with that initial Divine quality and connection to God, just as Jesus was. Anyone who has taken the time to look deeply into a baby’s eyes can see and feel this incredible heavenly connection for themselves.
Every baby, child or adult has that divine quality and connection to god equally, but indeed as you say it can be best observed in a newborn baby as in fact we are not truly honouring it and instead try to mask it as much as we can.
‘Does the quality of our welcome for our newborns reside within the quality we live and hold for ourselves, how we cherish and truly value ourselves?’ When we truly nurture ourselves and know our value as an equal divine being as the newborn we cannot but be honouring the light and love a baby brings into our lives not matter if it is a boy of a girl..
I used to sing that song you have in this blog to my boys when they were babies, it is a sweet way to connect with your kids, through true music. Out of all the gifts that came when my children were born, the CDs they were given from Glorious Music were the most treasured and used.
Our literature is full of figures that we have placed on a pedestal with amazing qualities that we admire. Yet every quality we acknowledge and admire is simply showing us a quality that we could all be living. It is time that we started honouring ourselves and each other with such regard and stopped imagining it is always others that are more important, more worthy and more responsible than us.
“Does the quality of our welcome for our newborns reside within the quality we live and hold for ourselves, how we cherish and truly value ourselves?” A great question Coleen and one that holds a deep responsibility in how we live, express and value who we are and how this then holds all others equally within these simple and yet deeply exploratory movements made. Imagine how a new born bay boy or girl would feel being supported by this quality too? Thank you.
The subtleness of how we push the ways of the current world on to our new arrivals is a marker of the unwillingness to truly feel what is going on.
I love the song that you put in this blog, it is truly a beautiful way for any child to enter the world, not because it has a pretty tune or great words, which it does, but because the energy it has been written in is holding the child as an equal brother and asking for the child to be all ‘he’ is natural. It is a blessing that we have blogs like this, it keeps us questioning the norms and hungry for more loving approach to all things.
The first time I heard this song I cried. It is a powerful loving and honouring gift to anyone and everyone regardless of our age, and how gorgeous for our young to receive this blessing right from the word go.
Yes, these beautiful words resonate deeply and confirm us in the truth we are.
I often wonder what we would all be like if we were not imposed upon by so many ideals and beliefs about what a man or woman is. Men are deeply sensitive and we would have a completely different world if men were encouraged to value and cherish their tenderness and sensitivity.
Do we relate to babies, or in fact even older people in a way that is a “conferring the potential for, or confirmation of, their own inner connection to Love, Wisdom and Divine Intelligence?” Or is it looking for our own needs and preferences being satisfied? I know which one I would want to receive….
Absolutely Coleen, love what you have presented here. We as a society are completely missing the point and as such missing every great opportunity we are presented with whenever a baby boy is born. A chance for us to embrace and be blessed by the divine qualities that they are here to offer us all, to humanity. Yet we foolishly squander this gift bestowed to us from heaven and instead indulge in our self-serving ideal and beliefs that keep us from realizing the majesty we all were equally born with. A convenient set up? Maybe. For maybe we are avoiding honestly looking at how far away we have ventured from being and living the power of the incarnation we were ourselves we born into.
There are lots of conditionings around a baby born child, just from the beginning of their life. We must be aware of that when parenting, teaching … even to understand our own conditionings and not affecting those children with them. The beautiful thing is that there is always our untouched essence inside of us, ready to be reflected, ignited, inspired, …. at any moment. I, like most of children, haven’t been received for who I was, but my inner connection along with my choices were stronger than the external impositions and now I know who I truly am despite the external acceptance or not. The fact remains that our experience can serve to other children to not have to live that, by allowing them to be themselves from the very beginning of their life, allowing them to live and share their full potential during their whole life.
By not imposing on babies we allow them to be who they are. It is easy as adults to forget that we have developed emotions and reactions and a view of the world, Whereas a newborn can only feel things. They are therefore so much more aware. And so allowing and honouring this is a very precious reflection.
The impositions of the ideals and beliefs that we place on our baby boys cannot but compromise their natural tenderness and potential to be themselves.
The baby boy that entered our family was such a blessing, not because of the traditional idea that boy is best and will carry on the family name and bring in the income…it was because he completed the family, a steady, gentle, sensitive addition that has offered all the family a beautiful reflection to experience everyday. Boys like girls need to be free to be who they are, he was born ready to express himself, not in words (at that point) but in who he is, I will do what I can not to compromise that expression as he grows up.
The story of Jesus’ birth should inspire us to welcome the birth of any child with as much appreciation of the gifts they bring, simply through their qualities and presence. A child is a great gift not just to their family but the community in which they will one day attend school, work, raise a family etc. They are the future and how we nurture and support that child will be reflected in the quality of the next generation, and the next…
It is definitely high time that we recognised the link between how we are with our young and what adults we end up with when they grow up.
Not only can mum’s ‘little man’ make her feel needed but the title thus conferred at times implies the longing for a better and improved version of ‘her big man’, the ‘hubby’, a dismissive term frequently used, at least in Australia.
I love the photo for this article having both pink and blue. Recently I have visited superstores a couple of times specifically to buy colourful clothing for new baby boy as a present and have although I have enjoyed the tender and playful colours and designs on the girls outfits, I have been disappointed with the colours and the designs for the boys. Already tractors, football and monsters. The imposition we have on our young can start from day one. Great that conversations like this wake us up to this.
I have a son and a daughter and I have met them equally into the world, I see they are in essence equal and I honour and respect that, they came divine into the world and I support them to know this as a truth. Boys do get shovelled into stereotypes before they make their first breath on the planet, it is a prison that is suffocating the true expression of our men.
I’m with you Coleen, the greatest gift we can give to a child is to come to them with no impositions or needs of any kind, just us in our own divinity and grace, completely ourselves, as this is a true honouring of the divine being that they too naturally are and is our responsibility to reflect themselves back at them and support them to hold their truth.
This is a fascinating piece about how we as the adults of this world can affect the life of each newly born beautiful person by either celebrating them or by instantly placing them in to a set of constricted roles guaranteeing a life that changes naught on this planet but instead perpetuates the constrictions and the roles.
We can so easily impose on our kids the picture of what a ‘good life’ is perceived to be, but when we surrender to the precious insights of our deep inner knowing, the true life naturally unfolds.
Such wise words Jenny. By imposing our own ideas and pictures, we limit and often distort the natural unfolding that is waiting to grace us all.
“May you know just how Divine
All the wonders you bring to our lives
As you live and as you grow”
just these three lines make my whole body drop, smile and come alive. How amazing is true music, how amazing is it to embrace the truth of our children and what they are really bringing humanity.
We have a great responsibility to be role models for children and young people, and this is needed more than ever as youth are cottoning on to the fact pretty quickly that the world is in a damaged state…
How can we welcome a newborn without imposing everything on him or her? That is such a good question and I am sure not many people are aware of doing so. Therefore I love what you have written about it Coleen to give everyone the possibility to change it. Without such an awareness there will be no way of changing a behavior that held us all so trapped.
A week old baby needing to get used to TV and other noise. Why?
At birth I would far prefer Love, Wisdom and Divine Intelligence than an engraved cup or spoon! 🙂
I loved reading this again, so important to be willing to see all the impositions that we impose on our babies.
‘Such impositions are everywhere. I once mentioned to a friend that her newborn was distressed by the noise and the energy of the TV. Her reply was that she had observed the same thing, mentioned it to the medical staff and was advised that the baby, who was a week old, needed to get used to it.’ This is distressing to read let alone for the baby subjected to this barrage.
It feels as though when a child is born we off load on to them the same burdens that we choose to carry in our own lives. As we learn to honour our own lives we will become more soul connected and to honour each life in a way that befits a Son of God.
“And is this the only gift he truly ever needs, confirmed and lived daily by all those around him?” To be confirmed to know that you are great, actually amazing beyond what is known in this world is the most amazing gift to receive. All other things are great but to be confirmed in who you are and that you are enough just being you is an important foundation to have going out into the world where all is not so loving always as it could be.
To have it confirmed and then to realise it for ourselves, that is really valuable.
So much is said here to be discussed. I have never heard of this before ‘In some hospitals there is an anecdotal saying that when there are more boys born than girls, it presages the advent of war.’ Today at work I attended Mental Health First Aid training the second part of a four part course and today the topics were depression and suicide. Suicide is currently the biggest killer in men including young men and we were discussing why this is. Many said because men have been brought up to believe they cannot talk about or discuss how they feel, they need to play the ‘tough’ role or talk about football. So from this and also what you have shared it is very clear to see that a lot needs to be healed and changed here and it starts with every single one of us.
We unfortunately have it all wrong or back to front how we truly celebrate babies and each other. That cherishing needs to be of ourselves first.
I remember Serge talking about treating ourself with the same care and love as a new born, its a statement that sounds great and I had a ‘of course” but the reality i’ve noticed is over the years that I’m not as great as committing to this as I would a new born. The care I take with my daughter, i instantly melt and support her and yet what that shows is the huge potential I have to be at ease with myself each day, to take the love and care because I am worth it.
When we are born and put into boxes has been going on forever. But like a plant that is not re-potted, it becomes root bound and stifles its growth. An ancient Chinese practice of binding girl’s feet to force them to stay small that caused a lifetime of pain. There is a parallel today with Ballerinas and their feet. When we attempt to contain anything rather than allow it to grow, we confine it to be less.
The other day I got to hold a young baby boy in my arms, as I looked into his eyes, so bright and large like stars in the sky I could feel how he had so much freedom, with no labels or job titles he thought he needed to be – he just looked back right at me. As the day went on I noticed how other adults wanted him to play games, perform and produce smiles. It seemed like this was because they would feel more comfortable with him behaving in a ‘normal’ way. But what is it that freaks us out so? The more I held him the more I got the sense that it’s the formlessness, the beauty of God that can’t be contained but emanates out, that all babies have that remind us of our own essence we have neglected too long. We all have this stillness and simple wisdom living in us if we just stop trying to restrict, cut it out and tone it down. Thank you Coleen for the gift of this blog.
Babies are imposed upon from day one in most instances, from the moment they are born. We load them with our expectations, wishes, wants and needs and think this is normal. And the same thing happened to us as it did to our parents and grandparents. People who are separated from themselves beget and raise children who will also end up being separated from themselves and we end up with a humanity bereft of their true essence and chasing outer rewards.
“Conferring upon the baby of the potential for, or confirmation of, his own inner connection to Love, Wisdom and Divine Intelligence”. Wow this makes my heart sing. This is how every baby child and even adult should be related to.
The impositions on babies and newborn are everywhere and this again is a creation we have allowed and permitted as human beings, but it is not something to be upset about, we just have to be aware of it. Children allowing to be themselves feels beautiful, although this is something that can be truly experienced with the process of letting go of all the ideals we have taken up of how children have to be, and how parents have to be–definitely a step by step process that requires patience. The amazing thing in acknowledging the facts of the present day world, is to keep observing and nominating what does not feel true without the need to change anything.
Michael’s song is so beautiful and not least because Michael himself is such a gorgeous, sensitive beautiful man. The impositions and expectation we put on men are criminal! Well, there’s no doubt many men do not feel nurtured for who they are and are brought up to be so hard by society that many do indeed turn to crime and drugs.
It’s funny you have no real idea of things until you see them written down and so who knew there was so so many babies being born everyday, I just wasn’t aware. So that would be 353,000 opportunities a day for us all to support what we see is needed next. Not just allowing the birth of a child to go on and on like it has been but touching back into how it was, how we truly raised and welcomed people into this world. As the article presents we pretty much set the ground work very early of where children need to be and this has little to do with truly seeing them. It’s not about seeing them everyday or getting them something but about allowing them to feel and see you truly and in that they are seen the same.
When we impose our own expectations on anyone or anything, we get in the way of the fruition of the magnificence that is waiting to unfold before us.
Are new babies still considered to be ’empty slates’? All fresh and new ready to be primed by the world to make them the adults of the future. However this never explains the wisdom that comes out of a child constantly. How do they know things, when they may never have seen or heard something before? Just like little boys only know to be themselves in all their tenderness and learn by the world around them to grow up being tough men. Are we missing something here? Should we be as adults learning from these fresh new lives that have entered the world, with all their honesty, wisdom and just being themselves.
Raising children appreciating and confirming them for who they truly are, rather than a picture of who they should be according to their gender and our beliefs is a much better way forward.
It seems that before children are even born we put curses on them based on their gender or what gender they could be, what they’ll look like, when they’ll talk, walk, speak and compare to other children… What if our own ideals and expectations can transform how a baby/child approaches the world, and by putting a huge pressure onto them this is what can cause crying, contraction and upset?
“Does the quality of our welcome for our newborns reside within the quality we live and hold for ourselves, how we cherish and truly value ourselves?” – Probably one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves at anytime in our lives as this is what we reflect to everyone around us.
Today I have been in the company of a beautiful 7 year old boy, to try to win his attention by distracting him with presents or food would be an insult to this little wise wonderful being.
Every young boy that is born into this world is a Son of God so needs to be celebrated and appreciated accordingly.
Everyone deserves to be treated and supported to become who they truly are. It is sad to see, what images and ideals gets put on boys and girls- it feels like a “brain wash” from young on to not be a threat for the “normal” to change or to challenge. It took me years to erase all of the pictures that I carried about being a woman and what it needs and there are still some certainly hidden left. Nowhere is the truth reflected so it is great that this blog exist. Thank you Coleen for highlighting the fact that we are manipulated from young on to not become who we truly are.
It really is time to let go of all the ideals, beliefs and pictures we hold around boys and all men in fact, if the current suicide rates are anything to go by it is clear men are struggling to be met and appreciated for who they truly are and are needing to feel the space to express more openly and honestly.
There was a moment of grace between us when my daughter was born after a long labour. I gazed on her exquisite innocence and beauty totally present with nothing els in the way. It wasn’t long before the impositions began, my anxieties, my possessiveness, my ideals, my control. This affected much of her life until she started to know and claim herself for the Divine woman she is. You are so right Coleen, we need to be in that quality ourselves to give birth. She gave me a gift by reflection of the Divine in me the moment she was born, and now continues to do so. How awesome is that, and very precious.
“Does the quality of our welcome for our newborns reside within the quality we live and hold for ourselves, how we cherish and truly value ourselves?” What a great question for us all to ponder on, whether you are a parent or not.
Yes in the end we only bring to another person what we are living in every single day of our lives. Whatever we do or say, only what we live in our bodies will be received… This goes for babies and all of us really at any age.
Wow the fact that “in some hospitals there is an anecdotal saying that when there are more boys born than girls, it presages the advent of war” says so much. Conversations such as this are so needed for us to wake up to the imposition and harm our attitudes, beliefs and throw-away lines may be having on children as they are sussing out how to be and express themselves in the world.
‘In what quality of energy do we collectively welcome baby boys into this world?’ – this question gave me cause to stop and consider all the gifts I have chosen and given to people, young and old, during my life and question what energy they may have been laced with. An awesome reminder that EVERYTHING we do, and say, has an energetic imprint.
A child at any age discovering who the truly are is a miracle. If we honoured this with every child from birth the world would feel far safer and look very different.
Coleen what you have shared really sets bare the fact that most babies are actually set upon from birth and rather than being free to be themselves, they are coerced into being something that has been set in motion by images and ideals, rather than simply being allowed to be themselves.
We have lost the way when we think that we must impose on children how to be in the world, when in truth it is many of us as adults who have disconnected from our own essence and innate wisdom.
If we have misconceptions and misunderstandings about who we are, if we have settled for boxed in definitions and stereotypical pictures of what our gender is here for, how will we raise a young child? It seems we are sentenced to impose on them the reduced version of us we think is true, to get them to join in too. But every new born who arrives in this world shows us we are wrong. Boys are delivered as precious and delicate as a rose, girls arrive powerful and strong – like a love bomb. It’s they who teach us the truth, not the other way around. They don’t need to sign up to our beliefs and ideals, just maintain the simplicity and wisdom they naturally came with. It’s down to us to return to this quality that’s true.
If we hold and cherish our young as the divine beings they actually are would they not grow up to bring so much more love, wisdom and intelligence back to our societies?
You have made a lot of great points to ponder. On reflection I would say that despite being welcomed and loved, few baby boys are born into a family where their essence is valued, as the lyrics of the song would suggest. I have lately realised in conversations how often we project into the future and impose our societal hopes and expectations. This already tells the baby boy, who people want/expect him to be and that his essence is not enough.
The words to this song are magical and reminds me that we can welcome ourselves and each other into this world with love no matter how old we are.
It will be amazing when we stop stereotyping and pigeon holing people and start celebrating the natural qualities of each gender and our particular expressions of these.
Every birth is a ginormous celebration of another fellow brother entering the world once more.
The words of this song allow for the appreciation of what a child brings in its own unique expression no matter what the gender is with no expectations or impositions, simply beautiful.
I love reading these words by Michael Benhayon as they speak to the child in every one of us, encouraging us to appreciate how precious we are.
What quality are we in when we meet another, are we bringing love or possibly comparison, jealousy, frustration if anger? Do we even consider how the quality we are in impacts the other person?
Do we need to be Soul-connected ourselves to truly welcome a Soul-connected being coming into the physical body in a way that confirms its absolute divinity? I say, absolutely Coleen and this comes from our livingness and choosing to live in a way that supports us to be all of us in life.
“Does the quality of our welcome for our newborns reside within the quality we live and hold for ourselves, how we cherish and truly value ourselves?” Absolutely does, our quality of our livingness will definitely affect the quality of our welcome for our newborns.
Yes and for every child that is welcomed this way we start the turn of the tide and the re-writing of history.
It is super interesting and important to flag up the habits we slip into without thinking when we welcome a baby into the world. And the gender stereotyping does kick in instantly. So, whilst honouring the natural qualities of a girl or a boy we need to be very careful that we are not imposing and overlaying societal expectations that interfere with these.
What an amazing beautiful welcome into the world you share here Coleen so beautifully valueing who we are and the delicacy and beauty of every chid born and honoured this way. What we try and put onto babies children and ourselves in life currently is so loaded and full of impositions seeing a true way is very lovey to feel and will have a huge impact on humanity for the future.
We place expectations on babies often before they’re born. I wonder how many people even realising they’re doing it. We’ve done our best not to, and as we soon will be welcoming our second, I’ll have another chance to do so.
It’s definitely time we looked at the deeper role of what is involved in parenting, is it just to raise a human being who can cook and clean and will be successful career wise, or is it to raise a human being to know exactly who they are and how amazing they are, and to nurture them to grow and learn and never stop exploring this?
We have a great responsibility to live the love that we are, so that we can live the love-full reflection of a child right back to them.
I love this Cherise – what an awesome expression and if we live this love and reflect this all around us all of the time – there will be many changes in the world.
“Does not every child, every baby boy, deserve to be welcomed in this way, honoured in the simplicity of all that he is? And is this the only gift he truly ever needs, confirmed and lived daily by all those around him?” what a great reminder to parents, family and all of society that its about how we live and connect with our kids (and each other) that is what really matters in life. I often forget this but the truth is exactly that.
I played Micheal Benhayon’s song Little Child of mine to a pregnant friend and her husband it was a deeply touching moment for us all as we could feel the love and power that her little one was to bring.
We often perceive gender as something which divides to two sexes but it is here clearly shown that it has also become something which divides us from ourselves.
A very beautiful blog Coleen about the divineness that the newborn baby comes into the world with and what it is we reflect to the baby , “Does the quality of our welcome for our newborns reside within the quality we live and hold for ourselves, how we cherish and truly value ourselves? ” great question. Each time Michael’s beautiful song is sung it brings tears to my eyes, divine love coming through.
“Do we need to be Soul-connected ourselves to truly welcome a Soul-connected being coming into the physical body in a way that confirms its absolute divinity?” I agree that to welcome a child in full honouring of their divinity we too need to be soul-connected, however I also feel a child can be the leader in the family and inspire us to deepen our relationship with ourselves, our Soul in which case we may not yet be fully soul-connected ourselves but are able to welcome the child with the fullness and Love we are living at that moment and with a willingness to evolve.
I saw so clearly reading this that when a child is literally first born, we are in awe of the miracle of life, but how quickly we allow that to fade.
Great point – I was, and still am, blown away. I mean it really is a miracle. Appreciating that allows no space to consider gender, colours, future professions, etc.
That’s so very true Sarah, it fades as we go into doing, what needs to be done, allowing self doubt into our ability to know what to do.
Beautiful Colleen and what a lovely thing it is to let a child be who they are and grow up un-imposed upon knowing they have divine gifts and qualities.
I hugged someone yesterday. He happened to be a man. What I could feel as I held him was the hardness and protection in his chest. I could feel his belief that he has to be tough. Underneath this I could feel the absolute desperation for love, and a real need for the hug that he was receiving. I was aware in that moment of his vulnerability, and how this had never been cherished or encouraged. He reveled in the tenderness of the hug, and I could feel that he did not want it to end. It’s tragic that boys are not honoured in their tenderness. They are left adrift and lost to themselves.
A child who is brought up without the impositions and expectations from others is one who is free to know the sound and warmth of their soul is what truly holds them in this life.
This is a very beautiful invitation, Vicky, one for us all to consider when we are meeting children of any age.
I am certainly fortunate to live where I am compared to other parts of the world to raise my children but this has never given me the right to not look at the quality of energy with which I was and am living my life. I have always known that having money was not the answer but it was not until I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine who supported me to question my life that I began to take responsibility and commit to it.
With that amount of little boys and girls being born every day, how can we ever believe or imagine that only ONE was a son of God? To me, it’s crazy that some religions still exclude everyone from being an equal son of God, with the sheer volume of people being born how can God choose but ONE.
I love the perspective you are bringing here, Coleen, asking us to deeply consider how our children are being welcomed into this life. Are we truly cherishing how divine they already are? I know I didn’t have this awareness when I had my children, I wasn’t treasuring myself, which then impacted on what I was able to offer everyone else. Not only that, but what ideals and beliefs are we bombarding these precious bundles of joy with, right from their very first breath. The imposition, control and conditioning starts at birth without us even realising. How we are with ourselves is the reflection that we are offering our children, it’s interesting how powerful it is to consider this from the perspective of the new born baby, in terms of the hurt we can cause. Yet, do we show the same consideration for our selves, in terms of the hurt we have caused our selves through all of our choices, from living in a way that maybe hasn’t honoured who we truly are? As you share, it starts with us claiming our own divinity first, before we are able to confirm this in another.
Nothing can change until this as you quite clearly point out here: – “… it starts with us claiming our own divinity first, before we are able to confirm this in another.” And how many of us truly live this inner knowing of our divinity – thankfully with the work Serge Benhyon offers and Universal Medicine offers we have the opportunity to reconnect to this and start living from that place more and more.
So true, Coleen, the greatest gift we can offer is to honour our children for all that they are. Michael’s lyrics are straight from the heart of a man who has already totally claimed the tender, sensitive, exquisite man that he is, there is no imposition or expectation, rather, an open expression of love, confirming his newborn baby for all that he already is – very beautiful.
For every man who lives unshy of their tenderness and the true strength of this, there is the inspiration in the world for every other man to feel the same.
Raising a child that knows they are grand, grander than anything society will offer them, brings a wealth not only to the child, but to the world.
Every child truly does deserve this beautiful respect and love… And one day it will be so.
The words of the lyrics form Little Child of Mine by Michael Benhayon touch my heart deeply. These words are more precious than any amount of gold or in fact any physical gift we tend to think is of great value. They bless the heavenly child within us all, young or old.
I love your reading of the symbolism in the visit to Jesus after his birth as a confirmation of his own inner connection to Love, Wisdom and Divine Intelligence. Every little child deserves such acknowledgement of all that he is.
So true, Coleen – ‘we need to be nurtured in a manner that supports our unfolding development of our inner qualities’. This is the most important thing of all!
All children should be confirmed and celebrated for the divine beings they naturally are from birth to death.
Yes Andrew, nurturing a child and adult equally.
Lovely that you include everyone in your comment, as all too often we tend to forget about our elders too and the ones in between especially.
‘Does the quality of our welcome for our newborns reside within the quality we live and hold for ourselves, how we cherish and truly value ourselves?’ There can be no pretense. Just creating an environment that appears to be nurturing does not truly support unless there is a loved quality within and around it – such is the responsibility of us all as this not only applies to our homes but also our communities, societies and humanity as a whole.
Reading Michael Benhayon lyrics have given me goosebumps, how gorgeous it is when we really do honour a child for the son of God they all naturally are, you have exposed the fake and unnatural way we can bring up our children causing them to reject their own light.
Colleen a very beautiful blog honouring every child that is born, giving them a true reflection of connection to soul, love and nurturing. How we all play a huge part in this reflection.
‘How do we welcome them into this world? What are the first imprints they receive, not just from their immediate, close family, but from all of us?’ such a great and important question – do we treat them all as we would Jesus?
Great question – “… do we treat them all as we would Jesus?” – It might be worth doing a survey with this question – people may well be quite taken aback when posed with this … much to ponder upon here!
It is interesting to look back and see how I welcomed my children into the world and then how my own grandchildren were welcomed also. A truly inspiring sharing Coleen. As we learn more about ourselves through the Teachings of the Ageless Wisdom presented by Serge Benhayon then we can make changes to many areas of life and particularly Parenting.
There is great responsibility in bringing a child through beyond the temporal duties is carries.
“As a child is born, there is a moment of absolute grace where those present behold the new life in a genuine sense of awe and wonder”. How amazing it would be if we remembered this experience and instead of imposing our handed-down ideals, expectations and beliefs, if we continued to hold each other with that initial recognition.
Yes, it makes me cringe to think of the pictures and expectations I held about my own daughters without even realising it at the time. There is a level of responsibility that we can support new parents in preparing for, so that each child is welcomed without all those impositions. We have a lot of work to do in this area, as a top priority.
I agree, Janet, and the work starts with us first through re-connecting with our own divinity and allowing ourselves to live this consistently, deeply appreciating all that we are, then, through the power of reflection we offer the same grace and confirmation to our children.
Quite something to read your statistics of 65 million baby boys a year. That made me wonder how many in the last 2017 years and my mathematical friend tell me it could be around 10,000,000,000 taking into account our large population meaning it was originally less. That is a lot of opportunities for us to learn how to lovingly welcome our children but it seems we have been going the other way as clearly indicated by your TV story and our traumatised youth.
and then you add to all of this our baby girls and boy oh boy (and girl oh girl) have we stuffed up with our kids and ourselves.
As you say Colleen, what’s important is what we bring to another human being, regardless of age or gender. To hold ourselves tenderly in the body of our soul is a powerful reflection for others.
I love the question you’ve raised – what do WE bring to our young community? What reflection are we providing, and how are we all contributing to the upbringing of incredible individuals? Have we handed this responsibility over to the Internet?
This is a huge and important question and if we are honest enough to explore it we could make some really beneficial changes to the way we live and support children.
When we put all these expectations and yes pressure on our young baby boys to conform to what we want, we are suppressing their true expression and even though on the outside they may appear strong and dependable perhaps they are feeling rejected for not being seen for who they truly are. When a baby boy is born into a family that doesn’t put these expectations on him, but simply allows him to be himself, to express and develop his natural tender and gentle qualities, then he is given the opportunity to really live in his true power and there is nothing more beautiful than a truly gentle-man.
It is a great question to ask ourselves when we first see a baby, and or meet anyone for that matter… what quality am I offering another in my presence or the presents I bring?
Absolutely its great to stop and ask ourselves what quality are we offering to another, it really gets us to stop and take responsibility of our movements, the quality of our movements.
I love this Paula – “…what quality am I offering another in my presence…” – this applies to all we meet, not just to newborns and it is a very pertinent question to ask ourselves all of the time, to walk with that awareness.
Newborns – yes absolutely. And it makes me wonder how I greet my kids today, or colleagues, or strangers. What do I bring to that encounter, and what do we both take away?
Great point Simon we are naturally very tender and holding and loving with new born babies but somewhere along the line as we grow up we start to treat each other differently but we are just as tender, precious and delicate as beings when we are grown ups just in a bigger body.
And is it also possible we are jealous of what they openly bring, and by imposing all the ideals and beliefs, we ‘squash’ their natural expression – squeeze them into a particular box so they won’t expose us not living this open, glorious way?
Is it possible that when a baby is born, we all feel the magnificent light, love and joy they are… and we react to this because we know it is not something we live, value or cherish?
There is such enormous wealth of expression in just holding yourself connected to our souls and the space that then allows another person to be in, be that a baby or an older person,
It it is beautiful when we are holding that connection to our soul, it is felt by all around us, this is such an expansion of space for all to feel and receive the reflection for them to connect to their soul.
You pose a great question here Coleen – do the cultural, societal and familial expectations and impositions that we place on children as they’re born affirm their unique qualities and give them the space to express them, or do they undermine and squash them? We all have a responsibility to just be who we truly are, to the best of our ability, so that others know who they are, too. Otherwise we all get lost together in the soup of expectations and pictures of who and how we’re supposed to be, from outside of us, instead of connecting to who we know we are, within. Why does it matter? Because one feels expansive and liberating, and the other feels self-imprisoning and reductionist.
Does not every inner-child have the ability to live and Love from these words as they inspire us all to stay connected to the “Dear little child of mine!” Without the Inner-Love there is no Love for another, so when you consider that, as Colleen has shared we also need consideration of what ” reside within the quality we live and hold for ourselves, how we cherish and truly value ourselves?
Yes quite quickly from young we start to be boxed by those around us into what boxes they can fit us into – for example a cheeky person, good at maths, an arty person, a quiet boy or girl, a ratbag etc… we don’t give kids enough space to be themselves. Why not let a Joe grow up as Joe and let them unfold out who they truly are rather than out of protection force them to be a certain way at every corner?
Well said Harrison. It does take diligence and commitment to catch the imposing ideals and expectations we might have about children, but it is not impossible. Not only will we be allowing children to be themselves, we will be releasing ourselves from the impositions placed on us when we were children. Every relationship and interaction we then have is also free of them so each person is seen for who they are, not what they do.
Colleen it’s super beautiful what you share here and the music by Michael. For me it confirms the real magic, the gift and the gold that is there when we make life about the quality of energy, the quality of presence and connection ahead of physical gifts and objects.
Great blog Colleen. How much we impose on our newborns when there is so much to celebrate, confirm and nurture, the divinity and purity they bring, as the beautiful words of Michael Benhayon’s song share.
That we must know our own Divine origins to know it in others also, makes the lyrics by Michael Benhayon, though deeply touching and pertinent to our children, also ones to be enjoyed and embodied by each of us as adults.
The absolute beauty, grace, innocence and awe of wonder when a child is born is a reminder and reflection of who we all are and where we come from, our amazingness and sensitivity being seen clearly untarnished and very precious. A very real sharing of what a child is born into and the true gift we can offer “the quality of our welcome for our newborns resides within the quality we live and hold for ourselves, how we cherish and truly value ourselves?” absolutely.
It’s interesting to feel just how far the stereotyping goes – it’s not just the obvious aspects such as clothing and toys but goes as far as the tone of voice we use when we talk to children and the way our body language is with them. This feels like a real call to look deeper and reexamine how we are with children whether from our own family or in society in general.
Both men and women resist the wonders that both boys and girls reflect to us. I feel many women cannot handle the absolute delicateness of a boy because it reflects that she has lost this in herself so she wants him to be in a way that does not expose that.
Every one of us and every new born baby is a Son of God. This does not mean we have to bestow precious gifts on every child, we simply need to embrace their presence with a joyful open heart and lay aside all of our known and secret agendas to allow them to flourish in their own right. And what treasures they are when we do so.
I can’t help but think how the world would be if we were all showered with the love and tenderness we deserve to have from day one.
We are born complete and unique. Then the world treats us like cookie dough! We are rolled out, with pressure, and then the cookie cutters are used for the things we need to be and then baked. What happens to the bits that are too small for the cutters, are they not just discarded? What if the discarded pieces are our joy and love, that were not needed or required as part of the shapes others have cut us out to be? Have we lost our way before we even start?
The real parent is the Soul. As we each have access to this, it is up to us as parents and guardians of our young to remain in connection with this source as much as we are humanly able so that the child grows up held in the light of who they truly are and not laced with an expectation of how we may wish them to be based the various ideals, beliefs and images we have taken on from living in separation to our Soul and the vastness of this love.
You have nailed it Liane. Of course it is the light of the Soul that is offers the true love, true wisdom and true reflection which will ultimately support any child (or in fact any adult) to express fully their true essence, that same light of the Soul.
“I once mentioned to a friend that her newborn was distressed by the noise and the energy of the TV. Her reply was that she had observed the same thing, mentioned it to the medical staff and was advised that the baby, who was a week old, needed to get used to it” – hmm she’s not wrong in needing to get used to it and what a reflection the tv is for that child, and every child and so how as parents can we parent to maintain and hold a child’s sensitivity amidst the disruptive noise of the ‘tv’/ i.e. world.
I very recently held a discussion with a group of close friends about why men objectify women and look at them in the way of ‘checking out’ there body. Part of what I felt is that this is a form of control so that we as men are not asked to be our sensitive and tender selves, having been so hurt early in life when rejected in this. By objectifying women, men avoid women being in their stillness and feeling the pull to come back to their own innate qualities which can make men feel very vulnerable.
‘As a child is born, there is a moment of absolute grace where those present behold the new life in a genuine sense of awe and wonder.’
Wow, what a moment, imagine if we allowed ourselves to live in the wonder of this miracle and feel what it’s communicating; letting that communication lead the way rather than all the imposts that come in to take us away from living from grace.
Thank you Coleen, what a beautiful blog with heart-meltoing lyrics from Michael Benhayon.
Thank you for sharing this, Coleen. Every single child in the world deserves to be welcomed as ‘Dear little child of mine…’ as a celebration of how precious and divine they are by nature.
Absolutely each child could be honoured for the divineness they are innately in their essence. If this was the foundation of growing up there would be much less anxiousness developing in young people to fit pictures of how/who they are meant to be as they grow.
I find that sometimes people don’t know how to express their love so they make flippant comments without really registering what they are saying. Babies can reflect to people a beauty, pureness and innocence that we all hold but may not be living. People often melt when they see a baby because it brings this feeling back in themselves. To truly express love for the baby, we also need to know and honour the same within ourselves.
Every child deserves to be welcomed into this world with such honour. We all deserved to be held in such honour by others and ourselves. When this becomes the normal then every child boy or girl will be honoured and know they are the Son of God, just as we will know and live this truth and offer this very reflection.
‘As a child is born, there is a moment of absolute grace where those present behold the new life in a genuine sense of awe and wonder.’ And it seems we don’t know how to handle the preciousness we all feel at that moment and how the new born simply shares its love is exposing of where we are at so we start to react to not feel what we have been choosing and impose the ideals and beliefs we live on our baby boys and baby girls. In the text of the song we feel the opposite, a true welcome which comes from living our innate quality of the divine beings that we in truth are.
Jesus is held as having been a great man and yet you highlighted something that isn’t often in the conversation-to grow up we learn from the reflections of others. It is the lived life of all those around us who help shape the end result we call ‘Adult’ – how amazing then were those Jesus was raised by? Family, teachers and community.
The fact that we have accepted that it is normal not to welcome and honour a new born boy like we did with Jesus is a testimony to the fact that we have normalised it within society to not see ourselves as the amazing glorious and truly Divine beings we all naturally are.
It seems rough and hard when we expect a week old baby to get used to the TV, especially as babies would be super sensitive to the energy coming through the box – no wonder the baby was upset.
I was in a restaurant at an airport in the UK – we chose the restaurant specifically because it had no music playing in it. After a while someone put the music on which I was disappointed about, but interestingly, the second the music started, every single baby in the restaurant started crying. Rather telling, I thought.
I love that song and when I first heard it, I felt the love and honouring of welcoming into the world a baby with this as our intention – not ideals and beliefs or expectations, just love of who they are.
I have had the blessing of meeting many men who through the work of Serge Benhayon have been able to return to living from their innate tenderness. These men are very healing to be around and a joy to behold. They are loving, delicate, open, sensitive and expressive, and there is a gorgeous strength in these qualities. Their fragility is part of that strength. They are a far cry from how we know men, men who have been imposed upon and moulded to be hard, shut down, tough, unexpressive and protected. This is a vital conversation because it’s our ideals, beliefs and pictures of what men should be that impose onto babies and boys and prevent them from being who they naturally are.
To welcome a newborn baby with love there is no greater gift.
This is a blog worth pondering on. We greet our new borns with awe and wonder, but yes the impositions of what we think they should be soon come rolling in, based on the expectations we have taken on about how we think a boy or girls should be. They don’t really get a chance, but we really need to look at the way we are living and if we actually give ourselves a chance to be who we truly are.
Coleen, I agree with what you are sharing here; ‘from the moment the baby takes his first physical breath, the process of imprinting involves the imposition of some very weighty ideals, beliefs and pictures, which severely reduce and restrict his innate expression.’ Even before the baby is born there are the choice of clothes and gifts that are bought depending on whether the baby is going to be a boy or girl, blue for boys pink for girls. And all of the conversations that happen around the baby, ‘he’s a typical boy’, and there is almost an expectation that the boy will be a bit rough and tough, there seems to be little encouragement for boys to remain delicate and gentle.
As parents and family members we already carry our own baggage and without awareness often off-load this on to our children. Witness the change, a baby glowing radiant, joyous and a six year old already withdrawing, guarded, no longer expressing the joy that lives within him. Our influence on new born babies is huge and needs to be much better understood.
Yes, Kehinde, we could do a lot more to support young parents in preparing for the responsibilities that lie ahead for them.
I absolutely agree Kehinde as do I acknowledge that we must also remain astute as to the circumstances in place that have led to any child being born in the particular family that they find themselves in. This means we must seek to understand that there is so much more to the picture than at first meets the human eye and with an understanding of how reincarnation works and how the great and loving Law of Karma plays out, we can bring a greater understanding as to why things occur as they do and begin to see the child, not as a helpless little creature but more so a fully formed being that has existed for thousands of years incarnating into thousands of different bodies, sometimes male and sometimes female and within that time has created for itself a certain way to live in the world that will either be true to the love that he/she is, or not. Therefore the circumstance the child finds themselves in by way of the chosen family he/she is born into contains within in it all that is needed for this being’s choices to be ‘made visible’ so that during the course of their life as they receive the reflections around them and discern whether they are loving or not, they are able to arrest any patterns or momentums that prevent their return to Soul. That is, our return to the great love that we all in-truth are.
It is sobering to feel just how imposed upon baby boys are in so many ways but also inspiring that by choosing to re-connect to our Souls we can start to change that and support newborns to stay connected to their own divinity and shine their light.
The greatest gift we can offer everyone is the quality of our movements: divine, loving, harmonious, tender, open and joyous.
The beautiful words from Michael Benhayon’s song are the welcome that every single child born into this world should be blessed with and what a different world it would be if they were. Instead they are greeted, in the main, by adults who are already programmed by the accepted beliefs of the roles of girls and boys in our society, and are ready with the blues, the pinks, the rugby ball, the pink tutu and so on. How honouring it would be to allow the natural grace and wisdom of each new born to be expressed freely as they are acknowledged for the beautiful little beings that they innately are. They know who they are so let us offer them the space to be just that.
This quote I love, , ‘What children need is presence not presents’
Yes Kehinde, it speaks volumes.
Michael Benhayon’s poem is deeply honouring of all children, appreciating the gifts they bring by just being themselves. What a grace we afford a child when we truly hold a space for them to unfold in, to share and express what they are bringing to the world, unfettered by our imposed ideals and beliefs.
When we all come to fully understand that we are all sons of God, then we won’t be treating anyone any differently from anyone else and only then true equality will be felt.
When shopping and in the queue to check out is a great opportunity to engage with a deep connection with a small child sat in the cart in front of you. There is a look of being seen for the first time and at the same time is it the glimpse of someone drowning from the beliefs and expectations that have already been imposed on us?
It would only take one or a few generations to let go of this way we look to boys and men and with that can allow the newborn boy to completely be and grow up without any imposition. But something is withholding us from this simplicity as there is that tendency in society that does not want this change but instead continue to choose to keep everything as it is. A reality to ponder on today.
I love that song you quote at the end Coleen, it really says everything about how we should view everyone that lives on this planet. Imagine we have the capability to see everyone as divine and gorgeous and lovely, and how that would change our world from the emotional neediness, to the steady knowing that we are all enough as we are and each have nothing to prove.
Hearing those lyrics of Michael Benhayon’s song “Little Child of Mine” – are exquisitely beautiful and always get me [have me in tears] because of the honour for every single child that enters this world.
It is true, we are loading our children from day dot with ideals, beliefs and expectations of what we want from them for them and of them as ‘our children’. Most of this is inadvertent and a result of how much we ourselves have taken on from our own upbringing and from those around us. Getting and keeping clear of all this is quite something, and does go a long way towards understanding why it is our kids arrive at adulthood and often don’t have a clear sense of who they are separate from their ability to live up to these expectations and ideals.
What if instead of this barrage of beliefs and ideals, we welcomed each child knowing the power, wisdom and divine beauty that is theirs? What if we appreciated each one as another great teacher? Then surely we’d have to see that we all have this power and delicate strength too. And we’d have to face the fact that up until now we didn’t live this truth. Thank you Coleen for lifting the lid on what birth really means and showing why we avoid what each of us brings.
You are absolutely correct in saying that when a baby is born there is a process of imprinting that involves the imposition of ideals, beliefs and pictures that severely interfere with, reduce and restrict his innate expression. It is automatic due to these impositions being so ingrained in society they are considered norms. Sadly the affect of these imprints are rarely considered however it would not be a stretch to say that they lay at the foundation of many things that are wrong with the world today.
An insightful read into how much the odds are stacked against us for living who we truly are from the moment we are born.
Reading this I recognise all the impositions mentioned I have heard expressed towards boys. Is it no wonder that they seek to fulfil the roles we say who they are when we do not support them to just be themselves and unfold into the beautiful men they divinely are? Such a beautiful song that Michael Benhayon has written, filled with so much love and knowing of our true beingness.
‘We are none of us born into a vacuum and naturally look to others to reflect and to confirm who we are.’ Agreed. Thus the importance of role-modelling that reflects and confirms the essence of who we are in truth was never so important.
Great point Victoria, to have true role models is so needed in a world where many are afraid or hold back expressing their true essence.
ah there is so much for us to learn about how we impose on our children or babies, and how we use them on many levels to fill our own emptiness. I know I was guilty of that when mine was a baby.
I agree Rosie, we use our children to fulfil our needs. One example I hear a lot of is how parents want their children to take up a particular profession when the child wants to do something totally different. Many youngsters don’t go against their parents and thus end up in a job that was not their choosing.
Love reading your musings on what we bring to children in truth, especially love reading Michael Benhayon’s lyrics, so beautiful.
Coleen beautiful blog that should society pay attention would resolve so many issues later in life, the key is in what quality do we welcome, celebrate and support a baby into this life. In what quality do we support them to grow, and do we support them to grow into all they are or indeed the pictures we want them to fulfil.
What an amazing gift for a child to feel that they are not imposed on and can simply be themselves. It is normal for us to impose on children, but we don’t fully appreciate that every expectation we place on them takes them away from who they naturally are.
Such a beautiful blog and a great reminder of the imposition we place upon boys from the moment they are born. What a burden for them to carry.
There are so many ideals, beliefs, pictures and expectations on children these days. Making simply being a child even more challenging.
Hear hear – exactly so and the constant screen time, being blasted with the ‘what is not’, does not help matters whatsoever.
There is so much imposed on us when we are born. I was at a history museum yesterday and visited all the ways a child was brought up around 50 years ago and it is staggering the amount of influence religion has over this process. In fact I could rightly say that to be a child growing up in these situations would not inspire one to shine all of their inner joy and glow at all. We must be very very wise and careful with the process of raising a child as they after all are the future we reincarnate back into.
An article that brings the call to truth, integrity and deep respect on our World Wide Web. Let’s see more of such quality published
The whole process of having a child is so fraught with ideas and beliefs around how it should be. When I was born, my first visitors at maybe a few hours old gave me Champagne – they dipped a finger into a glass of Champagne and put it in my mouth. When I heard this when I was older I was horrified, how could you give what is ostensibly a socially acceptable poison that is known to do so much damage to a baby that was barely hours old? But at the time, it was something no one thought twice about and was a way to celebrate the birth, not by honouring the child and the qualities they bring but with alcohol.
We impose so much on all newborns when as you, with the help of the song lyrics, so beautifully portray all that is needed is to confirm each child in the love, wisdom and divinity that they enter this world with. For us to be able to fulfil this we must truly live it ourselves and let go of the issues that keep us from connecting to our own divinity and instead imposing our neediness on others and thus maintaining the current status quo.
The natural tenderness of a baby boy is something so worth confirming as it then allows for the tender, caring man that makes for a great partner and a super supportive father.
Coming from a family of war damaged children – this was never explored as all that was taught was how to survive the harshest and most devastating situations. One just frankly did not express great tenderness or how one felt at all, it was frowned upon. This way of being is now reflected in the dis-eases and illnesses that some of my family members have. Therefore, I am so very grateful for having been ‘woken up’ (albeit through a car accident which left me severely disabled for quite some years) – for the teachers that because of that I looked for and stayed with for a while; and especially now for Serge Benhayon and all he brings and has supported me with to truly connect to the beautiful tender and loving being I truly am.
It is only when we know who we truly are, and deeply cherish ourselves that we can allow the truth and love of our newborns to shine, and give them space to grow into who they are.
Beautiful expression Rosemary – and even if we were not that connected with ourselves when a newborn came into our lives, it is never to late to reconnect to the love within and live it, as this reflection will be felt too at any stages in life.
Stunning blog asking us to stop and truly feel how we welcome babies into the world and what is the quality we live in, are we aware of our beliefs, ideals, expectations and needs so not to lace the newborn with them. This is asking all of us equally to reflect on this and the responsibility we have regardless if we are a parent or not as we are all responsible for the the next generation’s upbringing. I did not know so many babies are born every single day!!!! More importantly why we should ask ourselves these questions. I deeply appreciate what you have shared here.
The impositions and moulds we infer on baby boys are terrifying and that includes, as you mention, getting them used to loud TV and other such acts of cruelty. What have we come to that any of this is considered normal?
Not just for baby boys – no different for baby girls either.
It is tragic the amount of impositions and expectations we put on newborns. To be held in love and to be honoured for being themselves is all that they need, whatever gender they are.
It is so true how from the moment of birth, and even before in the preparation of the expected birth, children are imposed upon. Knowing a number of children whose parents have attempted to the best of their ability not to do this but to allow and enable their child to develop and express from their own innate nature demonstrates that there is another way which is far more enhancing for the child and all that encounters them.
Absolutely beautiful Coleen, the lyrics are divine. I love this song by Michael Benhayon. If everybody on earth cherish and nurture our children to be who they are, totally divine and support them to connect to their essence, then abuse, disharmony and war would be a thing of the past.
It is quite ugly when you feel into the imposition we place on a newborn to fulfill those ideals and beliefs we carry, and then impose onto them.
The honouring of every child brings forth a human that is one with the universe and innately knows what it means to live heaven on earth.
Gorgeous article Coleen. It really brings to the fore just how precious every child is, and how important it is that from day one they are loved for them and not showered by ideals, beliefs and expectations under the disguise of ‘gifts’.
Colleen for me this shows how earth bound and materially focused humanity has become, for if we are to accept that we have a 6th sense, our ability to feel energy all of the time, then we would confirm and celebrate the magnificence & power of the energetic field with which each and every new born child brings, indeed the majesty of light returned.
I love what you have shared Lucinda.
We each have the responsibility to live in a way that we can truly recognise, welcome and celebrate “the magnificence & power of the energetic field with which each and every new born child brings, indeed the majesty of light returned”.
And also living in a way that confirms and supports one another, at whatever age, to truly express of the magnificence of who we actually are.
Great blog here Coleen with much food for thought. Do we ‘clear the path’ for our children to allow them the freedom and space to become all of who they are from the moment they are born, or do we place obstacles and blocks to this natural process in their way by lacing them with our own expectations and ideals and beliefs?
Imagine if we welcomed every baby knowing they had the potential within them to change the world – and we were simply there to guide and support them. What could be possible then?
I love this – a deep call to bring responsibility to the way we love and parent children.
… and our selves as well as others – parenting here being a holding and appreciating the love we all come from and are.
So true Coleen, as soon as a baby boy is born he is draped in many expectations and ideals that swamp his natural tenderness and expression by adults who have lost touch with their essence. How beautiful is it to see the baby for who he is, a tender soul ready to shine his light in the world and to foster his innate connection to core values that really we are all seeking to re-establish in our lives. We are all divine and there can be no greater gift in the world than celebrating the birth of another divine being free from all expectation, but full of appreciation, without any agenda or intent beyond appreciating the gift of life before us.
Coleen, another great thought provoking writing. What an exposure of ideals and beliefs that are heaped upon babies at birth, even whilst they are asleep in their mothers arms or a cot – the heavy emotional imprint of expectations is already laid upon them. Could this seemingly small thing of covering a baby in favourite football team colours and talk of the future, be the beginning of the disconnection to their true essence and a burden of separation to be carried through life?
“It is not uncommon for families to drape their newborns in the colours of their favourite sporting team from the moment of birth. Others discuss and anticipate what career the child will take up later in life – will he be a carpenter, a doctor, a musician, an entrepreneur who will uphold the family name, make money, be a success?”
Coleen, this article is brilliant, from what I have observed with baby boys coming into this world there are many expectations that come with them, boys can be signed up for rugby as young as one years old, there is so much pressure from society that boys will wear blue, be rough and tough and not sweet and sensitive and yet when I see young boys I see so much sweetness and sensitivity and fragility and these are very beautiful, natural qualities.
I love how you strip this down Coleen and how you expose the way we are with newborn babies and wonder if it is truly celebrating them. I always had to cringe with the ‘he is sure going to be a boxer’ when a baby boy clenches his fists. I now understand this is because I deep down knew there is so much more to us and that we need to cherish and celebrate this from the moment a baby is born. It is like we start with toughening up our children as soon as they are born so they will be used to the way we are with each other in the world at the moment but this actually perpetuates the state of the world today instead of ‘protecting’ the beauty of the inner child in truth. To do the latter is to cherish that beauty that is in us from the moment we are born and from there on every single day.
The song by Michael Benhayon says it all. “As you live and as you grow. May you forever always know. How grand and special you are….” if all children were raised knowing this throughout their childhood, the world would be – will be – a very different place.
And as we are all God’s children – this applies to all of us whether young or grown up.
By honouring every child like this we get to feel how much we deserve the same tenderness and care and how special and great we all are.
Yes and when we connect to that, how we treat our selves and consequently others will be from a place of knowing that this is so and that we are all special and great equally so.
“Do any of these imprints support the baby boy to connect with what he innately is? Or do they undermine it?” A good question Coleen. Parents have so many aspirations for their children. But do we allow them to unfold – in their own time – or do we impose – and put our own unfulfilled dreams onto our children?
I have just read an account of a mother who lost her 20 year old son he killed himself. And she said that if she was given that time over again she would raise her son in such a different way. Too late she has come to the realisation that she did not cherish her son for everything he was but burdened him with all the expectations that she and her husband had on how he should be and what he should be achieving and she now realizes that was too much for him to bear. The article she wrote I feel should be given to every parent and today more than ever as we seem to expect so much from them, far more than when I was growing up.
The longest journey starts with the first step, and it has been taken. We only need to choose the example lived by the words of Michael Benhayon on the way to raise all of your children.
There are so many impositions on a newborn instead of the celebration they deserve for what they already are and bring to us from their divine essence.
Yes, so true Nico, and the irony is that by doing so we deny the opportunity for the love and beauty we all crave.
“Does the quality of our welcome for our newborns reside within the quality we live and hold for ourselves, how we cherish and truly value ourselves?” Abso-100%-lutely. And indeed I would suggest that the energy with which babies are showered with gifs and impositions is a direct result of the fact that we haven’t lived that level of cherishing and valuing ourselves and so, when a baby comes along, we go into the over-compensating – which is in fact a gross abuse.
I agree Otto and I would say the greatest ‘gift’ we can give a child or each other as adults is to be aware of and continually commit to developing the quality we hold and live for ourselves, for everything we do in life will be in this quality.
Very well said, Otto. This over-compensating for what we know in truth as a lack of connection and presence with one another, is something for all of us to consider, not as a judgement but as a starting point for a deeper level of responsibility and embracing of life and each other.
Such a beautiful song. To be welcomed and be nurtured for just being who we are – this can be applied to any relationship/encounter at any time and moment in our life. It is never too late.
Hear hear Colleen, I agree with everything you have shared. Living with two teenage sons, i’ve seen from when they were born to impositions on them to be a certain way because they were a boy. If they played with a ball they were then asked to kick it and then if they kicked it they were going to be a soccer player like their dad. As you said this has been passed down from generation to generation and also societies thinking when it comes to girls and boys and what they should and shouldn’t do or be like. When we do this though we miss out on the absolute sweetest tenderness I’ve ever seen and felt. Thank you for writing this blog which is much needed to expose what we do without even considering the consequences of it.
Wow, the imposition society champions is so much worse than we want to accept. So needy are we, that we think we need to mould our children into what we want them to be. It’s devastating when you really allow yourself to feel just how much we make it about filling the void within ourselves and not about allowing ourselves to learn from the reflection that is so strong in front of us.
This reflects the importance of such conversations as we are having here, so that we can expose and become clear of the many ingrained expectations we burden each other with in life, and heal the issues that have led to them. Because without this we will keep on repeating the same patterns and creating the same escalating devastation in the world.
It is well worth considering how we welcome each other – the quality in which we live will be received by all others, whether they are with us or afar.
Yes it is well worth considering how we welcome and treat each other and ourselves for each moment is a new birth.
So true Deborah – as energy knows no distance and therefore is felt by all all of the time.
Colleen an insightful post that draws the preciousness of every child irrespective of its gender, for each baby boy or baby girl born carries the innate pure seed of love that is to be cherished and adored without affliction or imposition, but held free.
Coleen this is as beautiful thought provoking sharing! I would agree that the way we are and live would have a great bearing on how we raise our children. If we have ideals and beliefs that are negative this will impact on our child therefor it is vital that we look deeply at the way we are ourselves before we have children and correct what we need to before it is able to impact our children. Love and acceptance of who we are as Sons of God equally so would be as good start.
Perhaps one of our most misguided ideas is that some are born special and others not so. We build up stories and people and misinterpret teaching about Jesus to have that special gifted, anointed one, when we in actual fact have special in front of us each time we are in front of another person, not just a newborn but everyone that walks this planet. The more we could accept this the more it would be glaringly obvious that this is the case and that we all have so much to give and receive from one another.
Right on, Stephen, every single one of us is special and the more we appreciate this in ourselves the more we can both reflect this to others and to see them as such.
And the key here is to keep walking this so that we in turn confirm again and again how truly grand we are.
What you have shared with us all Stephen is a brilliant reminder to us all that everyone we meet is that special gifted, anointed one if we care to just stop and appreciate one another and are prepared to let down our walls of protection.
Absolutely Stephen, I had an experience last week of talking to a gorgeous 6 month old boy in a café, I didn’t know him or his family. There was another gentlemen with them and he kept saying to me that the baby was so bright and strong because he was from a particular religion and all children from that religion are more special. I was surprised, firstly another area in which we separate ourselves and secondly how imposing that is on a baby who has no affiliation or concept of what a particular religion fosters or how to be.
We “have special in front of us each time we are in front of another person, not just a newborn but everyone that walks this planet.” Beautifully said Stephen.
Important to bin the myth of ‘specialness’ as it separates one from another
Absolutely agree Stephen. We are all so immensely precious and have such gifts to share when we are encouraged to connect to our divinity and express our inherent love. There is no such thing as one special person, we are all special, a truth that once accepted restores us to our real glory.
The game of inequality is what keeps us all apart. Promoting one over another or believing that there are ‘chosen ones’. There is so much here to pull apart on the ideals and beliefs that flood in to cover up or ingrain behaviours that become long term entrenched ways of living.
The trap of story telling gives others permission to add their own flavour that may be ones interpretation but not an understanding and truth for all.
Beautiful – honouring each child as they are born be they boy of girl and continuing to honour them throughout our lives and their lives.
And this honouring can only really take place in truth when we are truly honouring our selves every step of the way too, first.
The lyrics of Michael’s song are deeply moving. Both boys and girls are put into a box when they are born and it is incredibly imposing. We strip men of their tenderness and then wonder why there are huge rates of domestic violence etc. All children need to be allowed to express who they truly are.
Totally agree Leonne, and as your recent blog on Clairsentience reveals without honouring this our sixth sense each & every welcome will continue to be void of the magic and confirmation of our full light-filled essence.