In the world today there are many different ways people live; whether it be their financial, educational, religious or health choices that differ, for each individual how they choose to live their life can vary greatly.
Yet no matter how different that livingness may look, and regardless of colour, sex or race, within we are all the same. So how is it, what is it in us that makes us judge, compare ourselves to, or criticise another?
Do we even notice that we are doing this, even in the slightest way, at a level that can be so insidious that we do not even recognise or we are not even aware that we are in any form of comparison or judgement? It can be a simple glance, a split second where that thought of being greater than another creeps in.
We are living in a world that seems to be less tolerant and more judgemental of others and the choices they make for their own lives. Each individual is judged for the colour of their skin, the way they dress, or do not dress, the religion they choose and the way they live within and from those choices. We have many different religions, all praying to the one God, yet each religion is judged and compared to another – all thinking our way is the way, that our God is a greater God – when at the end of the day, there is only one Heaven and one God.
I was recently made aware of acid attacks in the UK – people being disfigured because of the country they were born into. Bomb attacks, stabbings and shootings have been occurring more and more regularly – at times so often it barely gets a mention in the news, becoming a way of life, accepted, if I may say so. I was not aware that we ‘owned’ our country, nor that we had a right to deliberately disfigure, maim or kill another in such terrible, shocking and painful ways.
These are, of course, all extreme forms of judgement, but for me, what I am now feeling is, is it any different from the way I judge others? That if I look at another, thinking even in the slightest of ways that I am greater, then really am I any better than anyone else committing such atrocious and heinous crimes?
What gives me the right to think I am greater because I have made different choices? I may appear more ‘well-off,’ have a ‘better’ lifestyle or health and vitality, but who am I to separate myself from, or see myself as greater than another? Yet at times I have found myself doing just this. I was shocked when I felt the severity of this in my body, the arrogance I have held over another. It feels insidious and unsettling as I try to ignore and avoid the awareness that I am judging and placing myself above another. Then came the realisation that by doing this, seeing myself as greater than, better than or in a greater/luckier situation than another, I was actually contributing to the atrocities of the world – the same atrocities that I so despised.
We are all individuals, offering and reflecting our uniqueness to the world, a uniqueness that gives us all an opportunity to grow, develop and expand our own awareness, as well as others.
What if we began to love and accept ourselves in full, dropped our own walls of protection that we have built and let people see our own vulnerabilities and imperfections? Are we willing to learn from and see others as an inspiration, rather than a threat to our own way of being?
For myself, I am only now seeing how deeply seeded these thoughts are and how we allow them to run us and just how much they keep us in the separation of life and the love we ultimately can have for each other.
When I stop, let myself be seen, allow myself to truly see another for who they are, with no judgement or comparison, I learn so much. I can feel how I expand; there is a joy I feel in my body as opposed to a hardening. And those I judge and compare myself to the most, more often than not are the ones I am able to learn the most from.
The atrocities of the world begin with us. It is a choice we need to make to be accepting of all others without judgement, to be loving, appreciating and gaining a greater understanding of what it is we are all here to do; to love unconditionally, not making life exclusively about us, but about everyone as a whole, equally so.
By Nicole Serafin, 45yrs, Tintenbar, NSW
Further Reading:
Freedom of religion – a token gesture?
Judgment, The Way of The Livingness and the Power of Letting Go
God doesn’t take sides
281 Comments
An acid attack is simply an outward manifestation of what we are thinking and feeling towards others. It is a materialised result of years of judgment, hate, fear and jealousy that has built up and has not been addressed or cut. The results are visible, unlike when we silently attack. But our silent attacks are no less harmful. Energetically they still maim, harm and poison.
A very beautiful and deeply uncomfortable read ‘the arrogance I have held over another’ … this I recognised as being in me, the demand that another be how I think they should be and then of course the judgement when they’re not, or when they’re not enough of … either way I’m dismissing another and deciding my way is ‘right’ and at that point I’m well away from truth, ouch. Now if I stay open and feel what another shows me, and how perhaps, there is something in me which does the same (in my way and to my degree, and yes there usually is), then we all learn from each other to be more loving, to let go being right and live truth. So all those people who might annoy me can in fact be my greatest teachers.
Thank you Nicole for raising our awareness on this topic. I feel it is something we do all judge and compare it is so common place. And yet it is so harmful, I got caught out recently saying something that at the time I didn’t feel was judgmental on reflection however it came with the energy of ‘better than’ it was a great pull up and a reminder I have no idea of the circumstances that were before me and so therefore no right to judge another.
Thank you for your honesty, Nicole. I too in the past have judged others to be better or lesser than myself based on material factors and appearance, which I shudder to admit now, when I can feel that every single person in the world has the same access to their soul as I do.
I used to be so proud of my consideration and regard, as well as helpfulness towards others. I excused away those moments when I would have harsh thoughts and judgements, and thought nothing of those reactions of wanting to hurt the other because I never acted them out. Okay all of that is a level of civility and political correctness seems to be based on that level.
Yet since meeting Serge Benhayon and deepening my understanding of what true love, care and responsibility means, as well as the fact that we live in a pool of energy, I know I can not let the silent and “unexpressed” abuse slide, because in the world of energy just the fact that I am thinking it and walking with it in my heart, it IS expressed and it is very much felt.
How we truly feel about ourselves needs to be deeply considered if we really wish to halt judgement in its tracks. Because if we are judging another, we have first judged ourselves.
The awareness of judging another in the moment is in itself a great step to halting this behavior. Another is choosing to be willing to delve a little deeper, to feel what our personal insecurities are that have nudged us to judge. Defining them and steadily seeing them for the trick they are will bring us back to the innate power we are, a place where on judgement exists.
It is easy to catch ourselves judging another but we often are not so aware how we use comparison constantly to judge ourselves better or less than another.
‘The atrocities in the world begin with us’ – that is a huge statement, and boy does it turn the volume up on responsibility. While it may seem far fetched I could not agree more – the way we treat people gets magnified, and when we turn a blind eye to something that happens in the house, we are allowing the state of play to continue in the world. Its not just this person or that person that can change things…. its all of us in every situation that makes those changes and inspires others to do the same.
Judgement is so rife within society that I don’t reckon we are fully aware of how much we do it just even walking down the street. I am increasingly aware of this in myself as I start to open up my heart to loving myself and all others equally.
You are correct Nicole, judgement is judgement, no matter how we try and make it something else. Being open and learning from this will support us to change our old habits.
I am reminded of something a very wise person shared with me …. ‘unless you know absolutely everything there is to know about someone, the choices and sacrifices they have made to be where they are today, not just from this life, but every life they have ever lived, unless you know all this minutia of detail, leaving nothing out, you are in absolutely no place to even consider that you are in any position to judge or compare with that other person’. That very much put things into perspective for me.
Brilliant blog, Nicole – thank you so much for raising our awareness on how much we judge and compare in life, often without even realising we’re doing it, and the harm this then causes. I love that you’ve made this a topic for discussion as I feel there are so many layers to be exposed. When we ‘think’ we have fully unearthed where we are falling into judgment or comparison, there are often still many more layers to go.
I love what you share here Nicole and YES “The atrocities of the world begin with us” and they also end with us. We are ALL responsible for this world.
Any harm that we hear is a responsibility we all carry. Not in the direct act itself but one in which we can clock how often in our day are we totally responsible for all our movements that carry nothing less but the equal love of ourselves and humanity.
The incidents we see in society aren’t random crazy events, but great big signals and markers that something isn’t right. Why do we persist with attempting to improve these situations? We need to stop and simply see we are living miles away from who we are designed to be. Thank you Nicole for this sobering blog.
A great point Joseph. When the foundations are far from okay to start with, it is pointless re-decorating or fine-tuning anything. We will always have problems with our building. It is the same with the rest of our life. When we have such clear telltale signs that there is something fundamentally wrong, we need to stop and re-assess all our foundations.
It is great to expose where we call in any judgement and create an us and them. Enough people are doing it, so why should we contribute if it is the very thing that harms humanity. To be honest about the smallest of things helps start to change the big things.
One of the most difficult things for me to accept about myself and my arrogance and judgment is the force with which I blame those who make these acid attacks on others, maiming and harming them. Yet I realise my thoughts and emotional reaction are actually greater and more harming than even these horrendous attacks. The fact that I do react with this amount of force reflects for me the insidious evil energy disguised as righteousness. A double harming that only furthers the separation between us.
We can not deny…although we attempt it, that how we are seeds how socity is and what erupts out of it. We need to take a moment and reflect on how we behave and the emotions we allow to run us in a daily basis and how these fuel the ills that are poisoning humanity.
We all need to step up as a whole humanity and take the steps that are there for each of us to take to make this place more loving with every breath we take, as what are we fighting for and point the finger when we all deep down in our heart yearn for love and harmony. The simple fact remains “at the end of the day, there is only one Heaven and one God” and we are only one humanity, as in one unity, and not many millions individuals fighting for their own cause.
It hurts to be judged because deep down we know it is a denial of our innate divinity. It is what holds us back the most from really seeing and feeling that we are each a Son of God in essence, regardless of our religion, race or creed.
Liane, I totally know this feeling both for myself when I am judged and also when I judge another.
Judgement for me was very verbal and a constant at one time and what I am feeling now is that the greater my acceptance of myself the more understanding and love I have for others. This is very much a process and I am still aware of the insidious judgements that slip in and feel very uncomfortable in my body – our bodies are a great support as they gently coax us back to living as a one whole with the rest of humanity.
An inner judgement of another may seem so minuet to us in comparison to the other judgements in the world. What I have learnt is that they all come from the same pool of evil, all contributing to the other regardless of what size we perceive them to be.
Yes the outer-atrocities can only occur when there is an inner-atrocity already taking place. Self-judgment feels painful in my body and it is only at those moments that I really can latch out in frustration or resistance to others.
“The atrocities of the world begin with us ” well said Nicole and a much needed sharing with the judgement and comparison of the world so paramount in how we are living today. Appreciating and gaining a deeper understanding of love with ourselves and others opens up a different reflection and appreciation for others and allows a joy and expansion within and for us all.
Nicole this blog is a powerful reminder of how deeply healing it is to just stop and take a moment to truly feel what is arising from within our mind at any moment and how this can be felt in the body as contraction or an expansion of joy and harmony.
Judgement can be subtle and insidious and dismissed or covered up, but it only reflects how we are with ourselves. If we do not know or are not honest about how we do judge ourselves, we would do the same with others.
Judgement and critique has become so commonplace – perhaps we need to look at why this is the case? It’s like it makes us feel safe – to measure and condem life, to reduce it down and box it in. To be ‘right’ boosts our sense of our self and by comparison makes us feel better about our lot. Knowing we are all the same, brothers and sisters and there is no bad or good just cuts through all that, but first we need to renounce and let go of these judgement highs that we’ve been using to get through life. Thank you Nicole.
Well said Joseph, and especially insidious can be the judgements we hold on ourselves, it’s great to be aware of how we are but to judge it makes for a downhill spiral that can fool us into thinking we are bettering ourselves when all along we are keeping ourselves stuck. No need for analysing or justifying or even sympathising we need to cut this energy and come back to the love that we are and feel that first before looking any further.
The moment we are not making it about us ( what WE need or want ) , but acknowledging the beauty that everyone carries, we support them to actually live it either even more or start living it. The moment we choose the poison of comparison and judgement we cement not only the other in their evolution but also us.
Grouping in any way shape or form is a bastardised version of our innate feeling of unity and togetherness. We seek connection, but because the world does not offer it in most cases, we at least find it in similarities with others, through same interests, hurts or values- in groups. This gives security and a relief from the tension ( because we all feel the separation that exists in this world) but it does not heal the root cause of the separation. Especially when the group members stay insular within- it seemingly feels connected, and indeed you are in a group, but if it comes with conditions and limits to others/ the all, it is still separation in the bigger picture.
Thanks, Nicole. If everyone, just as you have, starts to be honest with ourselves about the judgements we hold towards others, we will see that we are already judging and not being loving with ourselves. Then we will be able to have more open and responsible conversations with each other.