In the world today there are many different ways people live; whether it be their financial, educational, religious or health choices that differ, for each individual how they choose to live their life can vary greatly.
Yet no matter how different that livingness may look, and regardless of colour, sex or race, within we are all the same. So how is it, what is it in us that makes us judge, compare ourselves to, or criticise another?
Do we even notice that we are doing this, even in the slightest way, at a level that can be so insidious that we do not even recognise or we are not even aware that we are in any form of comparison or judgement? It can be a simple glance, a split second where that thought of being greater than another creeps in.
We are living in a world that seems to be less tolerant and more judgemental of others and the choices they make for their own lives. Each individual is judged for the colour of their skin, the way they dress, or do not dress, the religion they choose and the way they live within and from those choices. We have many different religions, all praying to the one God, yet each religion is judged and compared to another – all thinking our way is the way, that our God is a greater God – when at the end of the day, there is only one Heaven and one God.
I was recently made aware of acid attacks in the UK – people being disfigured because of the country they were born into. Bomb attacks, stabbings and shootings have been occurring more and more regularly – at times so often it barely gets a mention in the news, becoming a way of life, accepted, if I may say so. I was not aware that we ‘owned’ our country, nor that we had a right to deliberately disfigure, maim or kill another in such terrible, shocking and painful ways.
These are, of course, all extreme forms of judgement, but for me, what I am now feeling is, is it any different from the way I judge others? That if I look at another, thinking even in the slightest of ways that I am greater, then really am I any better than anyone else committing such atrocious and heinous crimes?
What gives me the right to think I am greater because I have made different choices? I may appear more ‘well-off,’ have a ‘better’ lifestyle or health and vitality, but who am I to separate myself from, or see myself as greater than another? Yet at times I have found myself doing just this. I was shocked when I felt the severity of this in my body, the arrogance I have held over another. It feels insidious and unsettling as I try to ignore and avoid the awareness that I am judging and placing myself above another. Then came the realisation that by doing this, seeing myself as greater than, better than or in a greater/luckier situation than another, I was actually contributing to the atrocities of the world – the same atrocities that I so despised.
We are all individuals, offering and reflecting our uniqueness to the world, a uniqueness that gives us all an opportunity to grow, develop and expand our own awareness, as well as others.
What if we began to love and accept ourselves in full, dropped our own walls of protection that we have built and let people see our own vulnerabilities and imperfections? Are we willing to learn from and see others as an inspiration, rather than a threat to our own way of being?
For myself, I am only now seeing how deeply seeded these thoughts are and how we allow them to run us and just how much they keep us in the separation of life and the love we ultimately can have for each other.
When I stop, let myself be seen, allow myself to truly see another for who they are, with no judgement or comparison, I learn so much. I can feel how I expand; there is a joy I feel in my body as opposed to a hardening. And those I judge and compare myself to the most, more often than not are the ones I am able to learn the most from.
The atrocities of the world begin with us. It is a choice we need to make to be accepting of all others without judgement, to be loving, appreciating and gaining a greater understanding of what it is we are all here to do; to love unconditionally, not making life exclusively about us, but about everyone as a whole, equally so.
By Nicole Serafin, 45yrs, Tintenbar, NSW
Further Reading:
Freedom of religion – a token gesture?
Judgment, The Way of The Livingness and the Power of Letting Go
God doesn’t take sides
383 Comments
An inspiring blog Nicole. Every person and situation offers the opportunity for evolution and joy or contraction and adding to the ill-state of the world.
“Then came the realisation that by doing this, seeing myself as greater than, better than or in a greater/luckier situation than another, I was actually contributing to the atrocities of the world – the same atrocities that I so despised”.
It is important to focus on the present. Not to be led away by judgement but by seeing what can be done now that Can Support Everyone. Sometimes nothing can be done to change anything but the expression of presence and authority is what is needed.
There is something very loveless going on when acid is attacked on to a person by another person. There is such deliberate intent to cause horrendous bodily harm. How have we come to live this way, we, the descendants of what were once some of the greatest civilisations on earth, and us, the ones with the most technological advancements and medical interventions ever known.
So shut down, numb and insular many of us have become that there really is no idea about connecting to others when really there is no connection to self.
Life is meant to be about others, life is meant to be about love, life is about brotherhood, yet we are not brought up this way and we have 7 billon people acting in separation who all know deep in their hearts that that is not the way.
It is so true…”We are living in a world that seems to be less tolerant and more judgemental of others and the choices they make for their own lives.”…and I frequently ask myself why this is? When we live lacking love for ourselves and others, there is a roller coaster of undesirable downhill slides that happen ,and we forget completely that we come from love. We lose our way and literally get poisoned, the way back is to feel the love inside that we are from.
If only we saw energy as liquids, like in this photo, we would realise we are wet with ideals and consciousness that feed us thoughts and beliefs that poison us, to the extent that we perceive that others are to blame for the pain we’ve received.
It is a good thing to really look at and define judgement no matter how big or small it may be as that there are few walking this planet that are completely free of it.
I am not free of judgment – but I have become aware that to judge simply cements the very thing I am judging and hence am part of its creation. Judgment is not an innocent activity but a casting of energy that ‘makes’ a thing what it is. We are powerful beings and if we do not use our power wisely, then we will inevitably create a rather ugly existence.
Great call, Nicole. Am I comparing myself to others that I am better off? To be honest, I do. And to realize that with that behavior I am contributing to all the atrocities in the world to go, makes me to stop in my tracks in full.
Understanding our own behaviour allows us to have compassion for ourselves and appreciating what we bring allows our love for ourselves to deepen.
Everyone dislikes being judged so it is interesting how much we do it to each other. The only way to stop being judgemental is to accept ourselves in full.
It is only because we accept a much lesser standard of respect, decency and care in relationships within society that ‘extremes’ like this can happen.
So much of what is horrible in our world is not from what others do but the lack of care we have for ourselves. If we have this we need nothing else.
The smallest of judgement whether in the form of comparison, competition, jealousy or dislike is as damaging as those filling the news – bomb attacks, stabbings or shootings, Any form of judgement towards another is a judgement towards ourselves as we are all a reflection of the Divinity we hold within, we are all the same, we are all one.
Without building a foundation of love and care for ourselves we disconnect from being present and allow in thoughts that are judgemental and self-critical that contract our body to live lesser than how we are truly meant to live. This not only effects how we are with ourselves but also how we interact and treat others in a similar way.
It’s like we are all swimming about in a sea of poison yelling at each other for the yucky smell. It’s got to be high time that we start to see it’s only by working together that we can begin to understand how this poison came in, in the first place.
Once we let the genie out of the box by giving signals that certain ugly behaviours like spying on neighbours, being racist, using violence against particular groups, the ability to freely abuse others on the internet etc, then there seems to be a substantial number of people who respond to those signals with emphasis and gusto.
It is the most beautiful thing to give people space to just be where they are at. Judging and reacting is very exhausting as it brings a tension into our body because it is not natural to us to be judgmental.
‘When I stop, let myself be seen, allow myself to truly see another for who they are, with no judgement or comparison, I learn so much.’ This is beautiful, we each are unique and we each matter, we do not know another’s background or situation, we do not know what has led someone to make certain choices and to see first a person for who they are without judgement or comparison is healing for all.
Yes Nicole, very true.. Putting things out in front of us without truly changing ourselves never ever worked.. So when we see something around us need change, we need to feel and start changing the way we are with ourselves in relationship with that first. Only than true change can occur.
Thank you, Nicole, for being honest about the judgements you have. If we all stopped to feel the level of judgements we carry, I’m sure it would be an eyeopener.
Here in England recently we had a case where a three year old boy had acid thrown at his face whilst he was in his pram.
Super sad how all are one yet sometimes act millions of miles away from this fact.
When we judge another we reduce them into a box and make them so much smaller than the equal glorious being that they are.
You make such a great point here Nicole, who has the right to think we are greater because we may have made different choices? When we know there is much more happening energetically behind every choice we make, we can get a better understanding of everyone’s choices and allow them to be. Judgements and comparisons breed contempt and have no place when we understand true equality.
Here, here Nicole. Our world today is fast becoming a blend of cultures, and in most countries, you will come across people that have different customs and religious beliefs. This is a beautiful thing as we in fact are asked to co-exist with each other, as we should. For in fact, underneath it all, the culture, race, gender and religious beliefs we are the same, we are all a Soul pulsing through a body, all of us here together craving to live love and harmony in our lives. How dare we criticize, judge, compare and condemn another for the external differences in which we express and live. What right do we have to proceed to abuse another on these grounds or any? Why are we OK with this happening in our world? And yes, we can do something about it. We can begin with looking at how we are in our lives with others, are we judgemental, condemning or compare another for our differences, for even in conversation we are contributing to the atrocities of this level of violence we see today in acid attacks. Although the actions may not seem as atrocious the impact is the same.
The corruption starts somewhere… It is insidious and will no doubt be around us all as well.
Do not think that we are immune, even if simply by our silence.
It’s our role to hold others in Love no matter what. Sure we can share what we think but always from a place where your care is what they first feel.
Are we raising our young to know this as a truth and that nothing less is not love?
Yes, that sets the exact opposite signal to those that invite abuse.
A great article Nicole, “or see myself as greater than another? Yet at times I have found myself doing just this. I was shocked when I felt the severity of this in my body, the arrogance I have held over another. It feels insidious and unsettling as I try to ignore and avoid the awareness that I am judging and placing myself above another.” I too have had this same realisation lately, I was shocked and saddened too that I was holding so much judgment for a family member, I was in effect saying that I was better, an energy that I no longer want in my body.
It seems this activity of treating others as less and harming or abusing them has been around throughout history. It never seems the behaviour is shocking enough (unless it’s happening to us) to want to question what’s going on. We can make all the human rights we like but it doesn’t change anything ‘on the ground’. We as a humanity need to look at the energy behind this behaviour and say no to it in all its guises, from extreme cases to snide remarks/gossip.
Oddly enough it seems over time we have discovered worse ways to harm each other, is it not about time we looked at the root problems that are causing members of our own humanity to act so appalling to another?
Not sure that’s quite true the ways man were tortured in the dark ages or gladiators was obscene I think what is more to the point is we think we are more civilised today because we have flash cars and I phones when in reality we have not evolved at all.
To compare oneself with another – is this the first step in the poisonous path of judgement of better or less than? It is a superficial look at two people’s situation without considering the many energetic layers and planes in life.
It may sound weird that with heightened abuse in our society we should focus on being open, connecting with people and not judging others, however in being absolute in relationships means saying an absolute NO to abuse, and also the role model we can set through our own way of being is incredibly powerful.
To consider oneself greater than another is the flip side of feeling lesser than another; these attitudes go hand in hand and one is as aberrant as the other. Any deviation away from oneness and innermost equalness breeds emotion.
This is a great point Gabriele, and we know the poison in emotional energy. Emotion is a reaction, just as is judgement…. looking underneath to see how and why these reactions occur – understanding – allows us to choose differently. When we know the quality of love in our body all we have to do is realign to that quality and move from that place…..so simple…..and still a choice.
So true Gabriele comparison causes an emotional reaction which often leads to an action to improve oneself over another or keep another down to maintain a position of superiority.